tag:theconversation.com,2011:/africa/topics/dad-10540/articlesDad – The Conversation2022-05-25T01:01:42Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1821412022-05-25T01:01:42Z2022-05-25T01:01:42ZSurprise! How men react when becoming a dad isn’t part of the plan<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/460488/original/file-20220429-13-qbw5dq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C1000%2C663&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/close-woman-hands-hiding-pregnancy-test-1195326700">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>For many dads, having a child is unplanned. What happens next can vary. One man said:</p>
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<p>We broke up and she called me soon after to tell me she was pregnant […] she just asked me if I wanted to be in our baby’s life and I accepted without thinking twice.</p>
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<p>Another said:</p>
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<p>I wanted to have an abortion, since we weren’t ready, but it wasn’t my choice, it was hers […] but the resentment was there for a long time.</p>
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<p>These two comments came from tens of thousands of posts on the social media site Reddit we analysed as part of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2667321522000476?via%3Dihub">our research</a> into men’s experiences of unplanned pregnancy.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/we-studied-100-years-of-australian-fatherhood-heres-how-todays-dads-differ-from-their-grandfathers-166348">We studied 100 years of Australian fatherhood. Here's how today's dads differ from their grandfathers</a>
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<h2>Unplanned pregnancies are common</h2>
<p>Having an unplanned child is more common than you might think. In Australia <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26456762/">40% of pregnancies</a> are mis-timed, unexpected or unwanted. That’s an estimate comparable with rates <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/langlo/article/PIIS2214-109X(18)30029-9/fulltext">worldwide</a>.</p>
<p>Most research on the impact of unplanned pregnancies focuses on mothers. We wanted to know about the experiences of dads. So we turned to two forums specifically for <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/">new</a> and <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/predaddit/">expecting dads</a> on Reddit.</p>
<p>We “scraped” tens of thousands of posts, spanning a year, then applied an innovative <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30744717/">machine learning</a> technique to group the data into meaningful topics. This allowed us to identify themes in the men’s online discussions.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/machine-learning-is-changing-our-culture-try-this-text-altering-tool-to-see-how-159430">Machine learning is changing our culture. Try this text-altering tool to see how</a>
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<h2>Here’s what we found</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2667321522000476?via%3Dihub">Our research showed</a> men who reluctantly or unexpectedly became fathers experienced a complex range of emotions and reactions. Many needed support. </p>
<p>The dads in our study posted to Reddit using pseudonyms. So they were free to be honest and raw as they shared their emotions on a topic many consider taboo.</p>
<p>Some were “filled with regret”, “sadness”, “guilt” and hopelessness of a “never-ending, soul-crushing grind”. Some lacked bonds with their infants, one feeling “like the tin man without a heart”.</p>
<p>One man said:</p>
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<p>I keep on having really bad breakdown episodes. There are days when I just sit and cry thinking how miserable my life has become.</p>
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<h2>Unplanned fatherhood and postnatal depression</h2>
<p>Earlier research shows it’s common for dads to have <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S026661381930213X?casa_token=aFeik2hGNskAAAAA:jD_01eW0wFce3gXn9cpmIQV5prFnISfFZRQ_n6W41w19po1iP5evTq6rbR_h9xIDvbvu7FBL94A">short periods of negative thoughts</a> after their baby is born. Feelings of loss about their previous life are common.</p>
<p>However, persistent negative and intense emotions may indicate depression and anxiety at this time.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Baby in cot with father in background clutching cushion, holding head" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Unplanned fatherhood increases a man’s risk of postnatal depression.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cute-baby-bed-young-father-suffering-1656784711">Shutterstock</a></span>
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<p>In fact, unintended fatherhood is linked to an <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-26354-019">increased</a> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953608005789?casa_token=cUY_BmkyG1AAAAAA:jnaSyT80P963Q7q9-IZXrzO2Djb2tLCuMptqhwKUFUkmzuS1qeAY3yzpiK6n6fyuGlvmRLW2X6U">risk</a> of a man having postnatal depression.</p>
<p>Paternal depression is, in turn, linked to a higher risk of depression <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20483973/">in their partners</a> and more behavioural problems <a href="https://www.mja.com.au/system/files/issues/195_11_121211/fle10192_fm.pdf">in their children</a>.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/dads-get-postnatal-depression-too-55829">Dads get postnatal depression too</a>
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<h2>Let’s debunk some myths</h2>
<p>Like earlier research, ours debunks the myth that <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-29612-001">men do not seek help</a> when in need. Men sought and received advice and support from other dads about everything from night feeds and nappies to reassurance that what they were feeling was normal.</p>
<p>Studies show <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21464468/">peer support</a>, often online, can be a foot-in-the-door for men who feel uncomfortable disclosing vulnerability. This is particularly important for a taboo subject such as unwanted parenthood. </p>
<p>In our study, not all men were distressed. Some reported feeling happy “but freaking out” and simultaneously “scared, hopeful, excited, terrified”.</p>
<p>Sharing experiences allowed these fathers to validate and normalise the full spectrum of their emotions and sometimes re-frame a sense of hopelessness. </p>
<p>Men told each other “you are not alone”, “I felt the same”, “it does get better” and “it’s not as bad as people say”.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/childrens-well-being-goes-hand-in-hand-with-their-dads-mental-health-102347">Children’s well-being goes hand in hand with their dads’ mental health</a>
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<h2>How to reduce the stigma</h2>
<p>In this study and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407519864444">our earlier research</a> men said they were concerned that not wanting children would be seen as abnormal.</p>
<p>We hope our work raises awareness that desire for children is not universal. We can do more to normalise and destigmatise varied narratives that represent how people feel about parenthood. </p>
<p>When it comes to family planning, a first step is to include men in discussions about reproductive health before they become fathers and are expecting a child. </p>
<p><a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/56e1ed8d3c44d863de3040ee/t/6271c31d5e3a870ef25d1df1/1651622690479/MT2021-09-071-MACDONALD.pdf">Pre-conception planning</a> with health professionals involves becoming physically and psychologically ready for parenthood and is important for mothers, fathers and, ultimately, their offspring. </p>
<p>Once the baby is born, it is important dads have access to support. Family and health-care systems are mainly focused on mothers and infants, and could be better <a href="https://www.healthymale.org.au/resources-tools/current-research-projects-studies/plus-paternal/case-for-change">equipped, resourced and trained</a> to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032720330111">detect fathers at risk of mental health problems</a>. <a href="https://coastfraseridpscd.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Zero-to-3-May-2015-Issue.pdf#page=62">Father-inclusive practice</a> is beneficial to fathers, mothers and children.</p>
<h2>When things go right</h2>
<p>When fathers have access to the right help at the right time, it can make all the difference. One man said:</p>
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<p>I ended up going to a psychiatrist after a suicide attempt. It did some good, it faced me with my own immaturity. May I suggest trying it? Everybody is different, but it seriously helped in my case.</p>
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<p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182141/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jacqui Macdonald is convener of the Australian Fatherhood Research Consortium.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Imogene Smith does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Most research on the impact of unplanned pregnancies focuses on mothers. So we turned to Reddit to find out what dads really thought.Imogene Smith, Casual academic, provisional psychologist and Doctor of Psychology (Clinical) candidate, Deakin UniversityJacqui Macdonald, Senior lecturer and research fellow in psychology, Deakin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1375792020-05-06T12:38:09Z2020-05-06T12:38:09ZWhy do kids call their parents ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332875/original/file-20200505-83740-10dtdeh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=529%2C168%2C4592%2C3240&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Every known culture on Earth has special words for kids to call their parents.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/happy-family-in-garden-royalty-free-image/186479136">XiXinXing via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=293&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=293&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=293&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/curious-kids-us-74795">Curious Kids</a> is a series for children of all ages. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, send it to <a href="mailto:curiouskidsus@theconversation.com">curiouskidsus@theconversation.com</a>.</em></p>
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<p><strong>Why do most kids call their parents “Mom” and “Dad”? – Henry E., age 9, Somerville, Massachusetts</strong></p>
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<p>Once, a long time ago, one of us, Bethany, fell behind at the grocery store and was trying to catch up. She called out her mom’s name, “Mom!,” and to her frustration, half the women there turned around and the other half ignored Bethany, assuming it was someone else’s child.</p>
<p>How was Bethany going to get her mom’s attention? She knew a secret trick that would work for sure: Her mom had another name. She called “Denise!” and magically, just her mom (the other one of us) turned around. </p>
<p>But why do almost all kids use the same name for their parents? This is the kind of question <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=f2RwlNoAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">we enjoy investigating as</a> <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=20slzkIAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&authuser=1&sortby=pubdate">scientists who study</a> families and human development.</p>
<h2>The sounds heard ‘round the world</h2>
<p>All around the world, the words for “mom,” “dad,” “grandma” and “grandpa” are almost the same. <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/298380/the-meaning-of-tingo-by-adam-jacot-de-boinod/9781101201299">Other words</a> aren’t nearly as similar.</p>
<p>Take “dog,” for example. In French, “dog” is “chien”; in Dutch, it is “hond”; and in Hungarian, it is “kutya.” But if you needed to get your mother’s attention in France, the Netherlands or Hungary, you’d call “Maman,” “Mama” or “Mamma.”</p>
<p><iframe id="IcbXT" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/IcbXT/3/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>You can say “Mom” in any country in the world and people would pretty much know who you meant. And did you notice that “Dad” is also similar across languages – “Papa,” “Baba,” “Tad” and “Dad”?</p>
<p>Scientists have noticed the same thing. George Peter Murdock was an anthropologist, which is a scientist who studies people and cultures. Pete, as his friends called him, traveled the globe back in the 1940s and collected information about families from all over. He discovered 1,072 similar words for “mom” and “dad.”</p>
<p>Pete handed this data over to linguists, the scientists who study language, and challenged them to figure out why these words sound the same. Roman Jakobson, a famous linguist and literary theorist, then <a href="https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110820041-021">wrote an entire chapter on “mama” and “papa.”</a></p>
<p>The first sounds infants make are those that are made with the lips and are easily seen: <a href="https://www.asha.org/uploadedFiles/ASHA/Practice_Portal/Clinical_Topics/Late_Language_Emergence/Consonant-Acquisition-Chart.pdf">m, b and p</a>. These sounds are quickly followed by other sounds that can be easily seen: <a href="https://www.asha.org/uploadedFiles/ASHA/Practice_Portal/Clinical_Topics/Late_Language_Emergence/Consonant-Acquisition-Chart.pdf">t and d</a>. It’s possible that as infants practice making these easy sounds (mamamamama) or produce these sounds while nursing or drinking from a bottle, the mother hears “mama.” She then smiles with joy and says, “Mama! You said Mama!”</p>
<p>Of course, the baby is happy to see the mother happy, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01918">so the baby says it again</a>. Bingo, “Mama” is born. Similarly, the baby may practice “dadadadada” or “papapapa” and the parents’ reactions result in the baby repeating “dada” or “papa.”</p>
<p>These words refer to the two most important people in most babies’ lives, followed closely by similar words for grandparents – nana, tata, bobcia, nonno, opa, omo – who often play important roles, as well. </p>
<h2>Reinforcing everyone’s roles</h2>
<p>But there’s more to this story. Once children can say many sounds, why don’t they call their parents Ella, Zoheb, Dipankar or Denise? </p>
<p>It’s because we all have rules that most of us follow. These are <a href="https://doi.org/10.9707/2307-0919.1061">rules related to our cultures, our societies and even our families</a>. We have rules for how to greet people (shake hands, hug), how to use forks or chopsticks, what to call our teacher (“Mrs. Bell”) and even where to sit at the dinner table.</p>
<p>We don’t think of these things as “rules”; they’re just there. One of these kinds of rules in most families around the world is that parents are the heads of the household and children are supposed to listen to them. By calling parents “Mom” or “Dad,” it helps everyone stick to their roles.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Families figure out the versions that work best for them.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/two-fathers-laughing-on-a-couch-with-their-daughter-royalty-free-image/1189458051">Jules Ingall/Moment via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>Some parents feel that if you call them by their first name, you don’t think they are the boss anymore (and parents generally don’t like that). But every family is different, which is part of what makes life so interesting. Some families have their own rules that might differ from your family’s rules.</p>
<p>Most kids call their mom “Mom,” but <a href="https://coparenter.com/blog/special-alternatives-to-mom-and-dad/">some kids don’t and that’s OK</a>. For example, for our family rules, our kids may occasionally call us “Denise” and “Mom Bethany.”</p>
<p>The next time you call out “Mom!” in the store, whether in New York, Paris, Hong Kong or Durban, watch how many mothers turn around. It’s all because of a mixture of biology (easy sounds to see and make), environment (parents being happy you said this and smiling) and culture (rules).</p>
<p>If you have children when you grow up, what do you want them to call you?</p>
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<p><em>Hello, curious kids! Do you have a question you’d like an expert to answer? Ask an adult to send your question to <a href="mailto:curiouskidsus@theconversation.com">CuriousKidsUS@theconversation.com</a>. Please tell us your name, age and the city where you live.</em></p>
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>One anthropologist found 1,072 similar words for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ in the world’s languages. It turns out a mix of biology, culture and encouragement from parents explains this phenomenon.Bethany Bustamante Van Vleet, Senior Lecturer in Family and Human Development, Arizona State UniversityDenise Bodman, Principal Lecturer in Social and Family Dynamics, Arizona State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1192412019-09-04T19:52:19Z2019-09-04T19:52:19ZKids learn valuable life skills through rough-and-tumble play with their dads<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/290841/original/file-20190904-175682-9s8rj9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=432%2C0%2C3521%2C2323&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Dads tend to engage in more active, physical play activities with their young children.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock/pyrozhenka</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Play is an important way for children to <a href="https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-alerts/news/why-is-play-important-health-development-children-babies">learn about the world</a> around them.</p>
<p>Through <a href="https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/182" title="The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds">play</a>, they learn cultural norms, socialisation guidelines and experiment with different ways to interact with their environment.</p>
<p>But play between a father and their child or children can offer a different type of play. It’s often boisterous, physical and competitive, and this all has an equally important role to play in a child’s development.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/let-them-play-kids-need-freedom-from-play-restrictions-to-develop-117586">Let them play! Kids need freedom from play restrictions to develop</a>
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<h2>The rough-and-tumble play</h2>
<p>Dads tend to engage in more active, physical play activities with their young children – rough-and-tumble play.</p>
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<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/M8dcqqKiW4E?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">A bit of rough-and-tumble play, looks like fun for dad and the kids!</span></figcaption>
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<p>Dads often engage in activities such as play wrestling and throwing their child into the air.</p>
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<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5sLGfJ4wJ7g?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Up in the air!</span></figcaption>
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<p>This type of play is full of excitement and challenge, and if it weren’t for the clear enjoyment of both parties, it might sometimes seem a little aggressive to an outsider.</p>
<p>But this play isn’t just fun. Research has shown it’s also important for healthy child development.</p>
<p>Of course, rough-and-tumble play doesn’t have to be exclusive to dads. Mums can also engage in such play with their kids and, although that’s not been the subject of research to date, there’s no reason the results can’t be just the same.</p>
<h2>Rough-and-tumble play improves social skills</h2>
<p>In one <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/03004430.2012.723439" title="Rough and tumble play quality: theoretical foundations for a new measure of father–child interaction">study</a> we looked at the quality of father-child rough-and-tumble play, and children’s emotional and behavioural problems.</p>
<p>High-quality rough-and-tumble play was defined as being warm and sensitive, dominance-sharing and playful in nature.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Smashing dad!</span></figcaption>
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<p>We found high-quality play was related to higher levels of what’s termed <a href="http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/prosocial-behaviour">prosocial behaviour</a>. Prosocial behaviour includes things like being considerate of other people’s feelings and sharing well with others.</p>
<p>In other words, high-quality rough-and-tumble play is linked to nice children who are probably going to have an easier time making friends with their peers.</p>
<h2>Rough-and-tumble play improves emotion regulation</h2>
<p>Play that’s active, physical and competitive has also been <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/imhj.21676" title="Measurement of father–child rough‐and‐tumble play and its relations to child behavior">linked</a> to better emotion regulation.</p>
<p>Dads have a tendency to push their kids to the limit, to set goals that are just a bit beyond their reach, and to rough-and-tumble play in a way that gets the kids worked up. </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Cushion fight!</span></figcaption>
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<p>Good rough-and-tumble play is play where the kids don’t just get worked up and potentially frustrated, but where the child learns how to handle these emotions – how to regulate them.</p>
<p>This is important as better emotion regulation allows children to understand and manage their own behaviour and reactions.</p>
<h2>Rough-and-tumble play reduces injury risk</h2>
<p>Now this one might seem a bit counter-intuitive.</p>
<p>In one of the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/03004430.2014.1000888" title="Father–child interactions and children's risk of injury">studies</a> we conducted, we looked at the relationship between father-child rough-and-tumble play and childhood injury rates in 46 families.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Tackling dad, three on one!</span></figcaption>
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<p>What we found was the more dads engaged in rough-and-tumble play with their kids, the fewer injuries those kids sustained.</p>
<p>We think the rough-and-tumble play is teaching kids about their limits – how far they can physically push themselves. </p>
<h2>Winners and losers</h2>
<p>One of the important lessons from any rough-and-tumble play, though, is about the balance between winning and losing. It’s important parents don’t dominate. </p>
<p>One of my favourite rough-and-tumble games is the sock wrestle. Each player puts on just one sock. The aim of the game is to get your opponent’s sock off their foot. Give it a try. It’s simple, but a lot of fun! </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Give me that sock!</span></figcaption>
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<p>When you’re playing this with your kid (or kids if you want an extra challenge!), make sure you share the winning and losing.</p>
<p>It’s important for your child to both win and lose, as without the losing and the frustration that comes with that, you’re not helping to teach them how to regulate their emotions.</p>
<p>So it seems as though the rough-and-tumble play with kids isn’t just enjoyable, it’s also an important part of a child’s development.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/let-them-play-kids-need-freedom-from-play-restrictions-to-develop-117586">Let them play! Kids need freedom from play restrictions to develop</a>
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<p>It’s teaching children how to regulate their emotions, how to safely push and extend their limits, how to assess risky situations, and how to get along well with others. </p>
<p>Not only that, but physical activity has multiple health benefits too. Rough-and-tumble play is the sort of thing we should be encouraging parents to do regularly.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/119241/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emily Freeman does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>When dads engage in active play with their kids they actually help them cope better with some of the challenges they’ll face in life. And no reason why mums can’t join in the fun as well.Emily Freeman, Lecturer in Psychology, University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1185662019-06-13T17:15:07Z2019-06-13T17:15:07ZWho’s your daddy? Don’t ask a DNA test<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279196/original/file-20190612-32335-l4jcax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">What are the rules that make a man a father?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/eFmLuPyzgxI">Slava Potik/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>“<a href="https://nypost.com/2017/07/23/man-ordered-to-pay-65k-in-child-support-for-kid-who-isnt-his/">Man Ordered to Pay $65K</a> in Child Support for Kid Who Isn’t His.” “<a href="https://www.news4jax.com/news/investigations/father-hopes-to-change-state-paternity-law-after-losing-custody-of-daughter">Father Hopes to Change State Paternity Law</a>” after losing custody of his biological daughter to another man. The headlines are lurid and seemingly nonsensical. How can a man bear financial responsibility for a child that is not “his”? How can he be denied legal paternity of a child whom he conceived?</p>
<p>The gist of these stories is that such outcomes are not only ludicrous but unjust. Such tales not only appear in the mainstream media but provide fodder for <a href="https://mensrights.com/texas-child-support-paternity/">men’s rights websites</a> and <a href="https://www.nj.com/news/2012/03/nj_legislator_proposes_measure.html">have even inspired bills to</a> <a href="http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2011/feb/12/bill-kansas-house-would-require-paternity-testing-/">make DNA testing mandatory at birth</a>, though none has actually become law.</p>
<p>But <a href="http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674980686">history suggests</a> such cases are not so strange. In fact, they follow from a long tradition in which paternity was a social and legal relationship, not a biological one.</p>
<p>After all, it was only in the 1980s that DNA testing emerged, with its <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1989/07/21/us/the-law-dna-test-dooms-paternity-trials-lawyers-say.html">promise to reveal the identity of the biological father</a>. For most of human history, no such technology existed – nor was it missed. Paternity was based on presumption, deduced from social behaviors and legal conventions.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Is a baby’s father set by social, legal, biogenetic factors… or a combination of all?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Mx2f4psEnvU">Minnie Zhou/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<h2>Father, by tradition</h2>
<p>Historically, the father was defined by marriage. Pater est quem nuptiae, in the Roman formulation: The father is he whom marriage indicates, even in circumstances when, well, he could not be. The tradition carried forward over the centuries. According to 17th-century English common law, for example, if a husband was located anywhere within the “Four Seas” of the King of England at the time of his wife’s conception, he was legally presumed the father of her child.</p>
<p>As for children born out of wedlock, courts, especially those operating in the civil law tradition, <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/children-of-fate">deduced paternity from a man’s actions or public reputation</a>. The father was he who cohabited with the mother or kissed the baby in public, the man whom a neighbor saw paying the wet nurse. Paternity was performative.</p>
<p>Such definitions of fatherhood did not mean it was less certain or less true: It was simply that the truth of paternity was social, not physical.</p>
<p>This situation contrasted with the logic of maternity. Mater certissima est – the mother is always certain, in the Roman formulation. Maternal identity could presumably be known by the physical facts of pregnancy and birth.</p>
<h2>A more muddled modern landscape</h2>
<p>Today, according to some observers, reproductive technologies like <a href="https://heinonline.org/HOL/LandingPage?handle=hein.journals/ylr96&div=17&id=&page=">surrogacy and egg donation have disrupted the certainty</a> of the Roman dictum on maternity. After all, maternal identity is not so obvious when the gestational mother who births the child and the genetic one whose egg creates it can be two different people.</p>
<p>By contrast, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.1983.03340180090038">DNA was supposed to make biological paternity certain</a>. And yet the older reasoning that long defined paternity as a social relationship endures.</p>
<p>Today, family law in the U.S. and elsewhere continues to <a href="https://scholarship.law.cornell.edu/cjlpp/vol14/iss1/1/">recognize nonbiological lines of reasoning</a>. A man’s behavior, intent, the nature of his relationship with the mother, stability in a preexisting parent-child relationship – all these criteria, rather than biology, may define the father. If anything, reproductive technologies like sperm donation and new family forms, like those born of the frequency of divorce, have only multiplied the scenarios in which biology may take a backseat to social criteria.</p>
<p>But in some contexts, the biological continues to prevail. This is often the case in immigration and citizenship law. Kin relations play a central role in immigration proceedings in the U.S. and other countries because <a href="https://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/ylj/vol120/iss4/5">citizens can sponsor close relatives to immigrate</a>, and under certain circumstances refugees have a <a href="https://scholarship.law.umassd.edu/umlr/vol8/iss2/4">right to join family members</a> in their adopted country.</p>
<p>Increasingly, countries that are migration destinations use DNA to verify family relationships. In May 2019, for instance, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security began a <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/30/politics/homeland-security-dna-testing-immigration/index.html">pilot program to test Central American migrant families</a> at the southern border.</p>
<p>As critics have noted, this practice <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2019/05/13/rapid-dna-promises-identify-fake-families-border-it-wont/">imposes a narrow, biological definition of family</a>. Kinship practices like adoption, stepparenthood and relationships based on a social understanding of parentage are considered perfectly legitimate when practiced by natives but are vilified as fraudulent and criminal when practiced by foreigners.</p>
<p>These apparently contradictory definitions of parentage reflect the fact that paternity’s definition varies depending on whose parentage is at stake – and how much power they hold.</p>
<p>Law and custom have always purposefully obfuscated the fatherhood of certain categories of men: the slave owner, the priest, the colonizer, the soldier. <a href="https://www.upress.virginia.edu/title/2650">Thomas Jefferson’s paternity</a> of Sally Hemings’ children was publicly obscured for two centuries. In an entirely different historical context, <a href="https://press.princeton.edu/titles/8048.html">German women after World War II</a> found it impossible to bring paternity suits against American soldiers who had fathered their children.</p>
<p>The fact that some fathers, like Jefferson and the GIs, have remained strategically uncertain suggests the very notion of paternal uncertainty is not a biological axiom but a political idea.</p>
<h2>Life’s too complicated to rely on DNA</h2>
<p>Over the last century, the distinction between legitimate and illegitimate children has <a href="https://doi.org/10.2307/838374">lost much of its social and legal significance</a> in the West. The once markedly different criteria for proving maternity versus paternity have largely, though not entirely, disappeared. Under U.S. law, children born abroad to unmarried citizen fathers <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2010/11/sexing_citizenship.html">still do not enjoy the same rights to citizenship</a> as those born to citizen mothers, for example.</p>
<p>At the same time, stratification has been reinforced in other contexts, as in the contrasting definitions of parentage among citizens and foreigners. New dynamics of discrimination have also arisen as assisted reproductive technologies and same-sex couples produce new permutations of family.</p>
<p>Take the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/21/us/gay-couple-children-citizenship.html">recent conundrum</a> faced by two dads and their young daughter. Both men are U.S. citizens and are legally married; their daughter was born abroad to a surrogate. Drawing on a tortured combination of both biological considerations – the fact that child was not genetically related to both parents – and social ones – nonrecognition of the couple’s marriage – the State Department denied their child U.S. citizenship. What such a case shows is not that old laws have failed to keep pace with new family forms, but how the state can generate new forms of stratification even as older ones fade.</p>
<p>With the dawn of the DNA era, many observers predicted that, by revealing the truth of paternity, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.1983.03340180090038">genetic science would one day abolish ambiguity</a> and deliver equality and justice. Today science can indeed find a father, but its impact has been rather more complex than once anticipated. Instead of sweeping away older social and legal definitions with a new biogenetic one, it has actually heightened the tensions between different ways of defining paternity. </p>
<p>Who’s your daddy? Perhaps science isn’t best positioned to answer, because this question arises from society, not nature. It might not be the right question anyway. A better one is, what does society want a father to be?</p>
<p>[<em>You’re smart and curious about the world. So are The Conversation’s authors and editors.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/weekly-highlights-61?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=weeklysmart">You can get our highlights each weekend</a>.]</p>
<p><strong>Editors Note: A picture was been removed from this article after a request from the photographer</strong></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/118566/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nara Milanich has received funding from American Council of Learned Societies (ACLS).</span></em></p>Before the advent of genetic testing, definitions of paternity were primarily social and legal. Science has destabilized these older definitions, but it has not replaced them.Nara Milanich, Professor of History, Barnard CollegeLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1023472018-08-31T00:04:39Z2018-08-31T00:04:39ZChildren’s well-being goes hand in hand with their dads’ mental health<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234029/original/file-20180829-195304-1kqwzly.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Children whose father experiences mental illness are more likely to experience emotional or behavioural problems.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">www.shutterstock.com</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>We know from <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/da.22818">new research</a> that children whose mothers are depressed may respond differently to stress, have altered immunity and be at greater risk of psychological disorders. This work adds to the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19962196">body of research</a> showing <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/book/promoting-social-and-emotional-development-and-wellbeing-infants-nhmrc-report-evidence">children can be affected</a> in negative and long-term ways by their mothers’ mental ill-health.</p>
<p>But what about dads?</p>
<p>Men’s mental health is more on the societal radar these days – but less so in terms of fatherhood. This area has been relatively under-researched. So how important is a father’s mental health to the way thier child grows and develops? Very important, as it turns out.</p>
<h2>Dads have a powerful impact on their kids</h2>
<p>Fathers’ mental health and the quality of their co-parenting relationships have a powerful impact on child development. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/cdep.12275">Evidence</a> shows fathers who are sensitive and supportive have children who develop better social skills and language, regardless of socioeconomic status, race and ethnicity.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/what-type-of-relationship-should-i-have-with-my-co-parent-now-were-divorced-101673">What type of relationship should I have with my co-parent now we're divorced?</a>
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<p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673609602385">Research</a> also shows when fathers experience mental illness, their children are at higher risk of behavioural and emotional difficulties. The magnitude of this risk is similar to when mothers experience mental illness.</p>
<p><a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000109">Data</a> from the <a href="https://growingupinaustralia.gov.au/">Longitudinal Study of Australian Children</a> show fathers who experience snowballing distress report being less consistent in setting and enforcing clear expectations and limits for their child’s behaviour, and show less warmth and greater hostility towards their children by the time the child is eight to nine years of age. </p>
<p>There is also <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4277854/">emerging evidence</a> to show supporting fathers’ mental health early in their parenting journey has positive effects on children.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234177/original/file-20180830-195322-1bgz9tn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Children can suffer when their father’s mental health is not addressed.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
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<p>We also know in order to thrive, develop well and sail relatively smoothly through to maturity, children need parents who feel confident, supported and equipped with the right skills to navigate the sometimes choppy waters of parenting. </p>
<p>It’s critically important we understand how both mothers and fathers are doing when it comes to mental health. For the sake of their own health and the well-being of their children.</p>
<h2>New insights on Australian dads</h2>
<p>Recent <a href="https://www.parentingrc.org.au/wp-content/uploads/PTIV_ResBrief_Fathers.pdf">research</a> conducted by the <a href="https://www.parentingrc.org.au/">Parenting Research Centre</a> sheds some new light on the mental health of Australian fathers. The research found one in five dads has experienced symptoms of depression and/or anxiety since having children. This includes nearly one in ten dads who report experiencing postnatal depression. </p>
<p>This may sound surprising, but it gives us reliable Australian data from the perspectives of a large and representative sample of fathers. It’s drawn from a new analysis of the <a href="https://www.parentingrc.org.au/publications/parenting-today-in-victoria/">Parenting Today in Victoria survey</a> of 2,600 parents, 40% of whom were dads.</p>
<p>Fathers with poorer mental health told us they were less likely to feel effective as parents and were less confident in their own parenting. They were more critical of, less patient and less consistent in parenting behaviours with their children. They also spent less time with them, were less likely to be involved with their child’s school or early education service and less likely to feel confident about helping them with their school work.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/mums-and-dads-of-very-preterm-babies-more-likely-to-be-depressed-62545">Mums and dads of very preterm babies more likely to be depressed</a>
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<p>The proportion of dads reporting symptoms of depression and anxiety in this survey is lower than for mums (<a href="https://www.parentingrc.org.au/wp-content/uploads/PTIV_ResBrief_Fathers.pdf">one in three</a>). But the dads surveyed were less likely than mums to identify someone they trusted they could turn to for advice. </p>
<p>The dads were generally more positive than mums about the amount of support they received from their partner. But the fact many fathers are likely to be struggling with no clear view of where to get help should sound alarm bells. </p>
<p>Research on the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15295192.2010.492040">co-parenting relationship</a> (including for separated parents) shows the level of support parents provide each other through sharing everyday parenting responsibilities impacts <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13229400.2017.1367714">child outcomes</a>.</p>
<h2>So, what can be done?</h2>
<p>It’s important to note the majority of dads surveyed were doing well. In general, there’s a very positive overall picture of fathering in Australia. This contradicts out-dated assumptions fathers are less involved or less effective than mothers when it comes to child health and development.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/shared-parenting-whats-really-important-when-dads-move-out-3966">Shared parenting: what's really important when dads move out</a>
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<p>But we can’t ignore the relatively high numbers of dads who aren’t travelling so well. This research highlights three key areas that will reap rewards for children if we focus on them now:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>make it routine to address fathers’ as well as mothers’ mental health in services for new parents – this isn’t currently happening in maternal, family and child health services</p></li>
<li><p>offer support to parents around co-parenting and what it means to support each other, particularly those who are co-parenting across different types of family living arrangements to help them get on the same parenting page </p></li>
<li><p>work on ways to better engage dads in two areas: in parenting support services to give them strategies for parenting confidently and in early education settings and schools, where having both parents involved results in benefits for the child.</p></li>
</ol>
<p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23244632">Research</a> shows involving both parents in parenting programs rather than just one is more beneficial to children. We should consider what we know about dads’ motivations for attending or not attending parenting programs or education sessions (such as lack of time or feeling uncomfortable asking for help) and tailor strategies specifically to dads that take these into account.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=408&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=408&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=408&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=513&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=513&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234178/original/file-20180830-195319-ou8b6b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=513&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">It’s important both parents feel involved and supported in co-parenting relationships.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
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<p>Fathers tend to look for information and advice about raising their children online, rather than consulting professionals or attending group sessions. Some 76% of the dads surveyed said they went online for parenting information or advice. But many (around 66%) said they used books. Dads need access to credible parenting information in formats they can explore on their own terms.</p>
<h2>Five free resources for dads</h2>
<p>The Australian government funded website <a href="http://www.raisingchildren.net.au/">raisingchildren.net.au</a> has lots of evidence-based, dad-specific and general parenting information in the form of articles, videos and free webinars that can be viewed any time.</p>
<p>The University of Newcastle’s <a href="http://www.sms4dads.com">SMS4dads</a> is a text messaging service which aims to check in with dads through their smartphone before and after the birth of their baby.</p>
<p>The Movember Foundation <a href="http://www.au.movember.com">website</a> has a section devoted specifically to mental health that encourages men to start a conversation about their own mental health and reach out for help and advice.</p>
<p>Beyondblue has a four-part web series called <a href="http://www.dadvice.org.au">Dadvice</a>, which follows four dads on their journey into fatherhood.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.healthdirect.gov.au">Health Direct</a>, funded by the federal government and most Australian states, offers information on depression in men and where to seek help.</p>
<p>If you are a dad who needs to speak to someone immediately about a mental health issue, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/102347/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Catherine Wade is Principal Research Specialist at the Parenting Research Centre, which received funding from the Victorian Government Department of Education and Training to conduct the survey described in this article. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Julie Green is Acting CEO of the Parenting Research Centre and Honorary Principal Research Fellow, Murdoch Children’s Research Institute. The Parenting Research Centre and the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute are partners in raisingchildren.net.au, which is funded by the Australian Government Department of Social Services.</span></em></p>New research has found one in five dads has experienced symptoms of depression and/or anxiety after having children.Catherine Wade, Research Affiliate, Faculty of Health Sciences, University of SydneyJulie Green, Honorary Principal Fellow, Department of Paediatrics, The University of MelbourneLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.