tag:theconversation.com,2011:/africa/topics/fathering-1784/articlesFathering – The Conversation2022-04-28T12:18:31Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1784982022-04-28T12:18:31Z2022-04-28T12:18:31ZDiaper need emerges as health indicator during pandemic<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/459200/original/file-20220421-11033-2j867q.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C15%2C3490%2C2307&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Thirty-six percent of surveyed families with young children said they did not have enough diapers during the pandemic.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/baby-aidan-on-changing-table-royalty-free-image/528169224">Tony Arruzza/Corbis Documentary via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>The <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/research-brief-83231">Research Brief</a> is a short take about interesting academic work.</em> </p>
<h2>The big idea</h2>
<p>During the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, more than a third of Massachusetts households with a child under 5 <a href="https://doi.org/10.1089/heq.2021.0093">didn’t have enough diapers</a> to change their child as often as needed, according to our survey. A baby without enough diapers might have <a href="https://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476(20)31360-3/fulltext">more doctor visits</a> for diaper rash and urinary tract infections. But we also found a link between diaper need and other concerns, like depression and chronic illness, that are less obvious and seemingly unrelated. </p>
<p>Our data for this study came from an online survey of Massachusetts residents led by <a href="https://www.gbfb.org/">The Greater Boston Food Bank</a> from October 2020 and to January 2021. Food bank epidemiologist Rachel Zack and data analyst Nick Birk helped us compile, analyze and interpret the survey data. </p>
<p>We looked at more than 3,000 responses from participants in the food bank’s survey. Of those, we selected the 353 respondents who reported having a child age 4 or under using diapers. We then asked them specifically, “If you have children in diapers, do you ever feel that you do not have enough diapers to change them as often as you would like?” </p>
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<img alt="Seven disposable white baby diapers with colorful trim are grouped in a tray with numbers drawn on them in marker." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=17%2C17%2C5973%2C3970&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/459157/original/file-20220421-22-w9rf7e.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Homes without enough diapers were also more likely to have depression and chronic illness among family members.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/baby-shower-diaper-decorations-royalty-free-image/537630792">MZiello/iStock via Getty Images Plus</a></span>
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<p>We found that 36% of families with young children went without enough diapers during the pandemic.</p>
<p>But diaper need is about more than bare baby bottoms. We found that in households with the greatest diaper need there is also a greater likelihood of other significant concerns. For example, we found that people who reported diaper need were also more likely to report symptoms of depression or living in a home where someone had a chronic illness. </p>
<p>Previous research has <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0003122420977480">highlighted the stress</a> of needing but being unable to get diapers for a baby. The link between diaper need and chronic illness adds substantial evidence that households dealing with health issues are more likely to struggle with other hardships like food insecurity and unmet medical needs.</p>
<p>Among those at greater risk of not having enough diapers are parents or caregivers under 26 years of age, Latino parents or caregivers and people with less than a high school education. This might be related to the relatively limited resources these parents and caregivers have to draw upon to meet their daily needs.</p>
<h2>Why it matters</h2>
<p>Diapers are an essential child care need and a significant expense for families with young children. The <a href="https://nationaldiaperbanknetwork.org/">National Diaper Bank Network</a> defines “diaper need” as “lacking a sufficient supply of diapers to keep an infant or child clean, dry and healthy.” The group estimates that the average cost of a month’s supply of diapers is US$80-$100. Public aid programs for families with low incomes generally do not provide diapers. </p>
<p>We had previously identified links between diaper need and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pmedr.2021.101332">food-related hardship</a>. Our newer study sheds light on the situation during the COVID-19 pandemic and brings more income-related findings, such as the fact that diaper need is more common in households where someone lost a job. We also found more need for diapers in households with a 2019 income of less than $50,000 than in those with higher incomes. Speaking of income, our findings show that pandemic diaper need persisted despite most U.S. households’ receiving federal economic stimulus payments and diaper banks’ expanding distribution. Without these factors, there might have been more families in the state without enough diapers.</p>
<h2>What still isn’t known</h2>
<p>We used mathematical weighting to get data representing the Massachusetts population. But we haven’t yet looked into diaper need in other states or nationally.</p>
<p>It’s also not yet clear what the most effective solutions are for families lacking enough diapers for their babies. We have not measured the effectiveness of diaper banks or other diaper distribution models. Legislation proposed in Massachusetts would create a <a href="https://malegislature.gov/Bills/192/S125">diaper distribution program</a> or give qualifying families <a href="https://malegislature.gov/Bills/192/H280">$30 to purchase diapers</a> each month. </p>
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<p>Congress also has considered creating <a href="https://www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/house-bill/1846">federal funding</a> for diaper distribution programs, in 2019 and <a href="https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/259">again in 2021</a>. And in February, lawmakers proposed allowing families to <a href="https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/senate-bill/3660">cover the cost</a> of diapers with health savings or flexible spending accounts. If these programs become reality, studying their impact and effectiveness could prove useful.</p>
<p>Previous research already has found, however, that providing diapers to families needing them has benefits beyond the obvious. In a 2017 study of families with low incomes, life in their <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10995-017-2317-9">households improved</a> when they received diapers from a local diaper bank. Parents reported more positive moods, along with improved health and happiness of their children. Diaper distribution increased family members’ attendance at school, work and child care centers.
And families were also able to divert household finances toward other basic needs, including utilities and medical care.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/178498/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emily H. Belarmino receives funding from the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the University of Vermont Gund Institute for Environment and Office of the Provost and Vice President.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Lauren A. Clay receives funding from the National Science Foundation, National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine Gulf Research Program, and Tufts University. </span></em></p>Researchers find that households without enough diapers for their children are more likely to struggle with other hardships.Emily Belarmino, Assistant Professor of Public Health Nutrition, University of VermontLauren A. Clay, Associate Professor of Emergency Health Services, University of Maryland, Baltimore CountyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1220472019-08-30T04:16:22Z2019-08-30T04:16:22ZFather’s days: increasing the ‘daddy quota’ in parental leave makes everyone happier<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/290244/original/file-20190830-115401-1bz895j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=282%2C179%2C3999%2C2561&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There's increasing evidence that encouraging fathers to take paternity leave has positive, perhaps even surprising, results.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">www.shutterstock.com</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>“To all the Dads in Australia,” Prime Minister Scott Morrison <a href="https://www.liberal.org.au/latest-news/2018/09/02/pm-scott-morrisons-fathers-day-message-all-daggy-dads">declared in his Father’s Day message</a> last year, “keep up the good work, because the kids of our country need the best dads possible.”</p>
<p>What can a government do to encourage the best fathers possible? The single greatest gift might be functional parental leave policies that actually encourage men to take time off and be active early in family life. </p>
<p>Right now paternity leave in Australia isn’t working for fathers. Just <a href="https://www.dss.gov.au/publications-articles-corporate-publications-annual-reports/department-of-social-services-annual-report-2017-18">one in four</a> use the two weeks’ leave available to them as “partner pay” in the first year of a child’s life. The obvious reason is it is paid at the minimum wage, which means it doesn’t resolve the conflict that fathers face in choosing between financially supporting or spending time with their families. </p>
<p>We need to bridge the gap, because there’s increasing evidence that encouraging fathers to take paternity leave has positive, perhaps even surprising, results.</p>
<h2>Increasing the daddy quota</h2>
<p>Parental leave entitlements are a combination of government and workplace arrangements, so what’s available to dads can differ. The minimum entitlement in Australia, as mentioned, is the federal government-paid “<a href="https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/services/centrelink/dad-and-partner-pay">Dad and Partner Pay</a>” (DaPP). The government also provides 18 weeks’ pay at the minimum wage to the primary care giver, but fathers claim this in <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by%20Subject/4125.0%7ESep%202017%7EMedia%20Release%7EOne%20in%2020%20dads%20take%20primary%20parental%20leave%20(Media%20Release)%7E11">just 5%</a> of cases.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/paid-parental-leave-plan-ignores-economics-of-well-functioning-families-67549">Paid parental leave plan ignores economics of well-functioning families</a>
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<p>The tendency is for mothers to also take the bulk of leave entitlements in “shared parental leave” systems, where leave is granted to the couple, who then decide how to split it. New Zealand and Canada have such systems, and the evidence is they do not encourage fathers to take leave. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/289990/original/file-20190829-184207-12ea3q1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Studies suggest increasing paternity leave is associated with both fathers and mothers being happier.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
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<p>The best example is probably Sweden, a pioneer of parental leave. It introduced generous entitlements <a href="https://journals.openedition.org/rsa/456">in 1974</a>, paying up to six months in shared leave. But just 10 days were reserved for dads. Just <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/10/world/europe/10iht-sweden.html">6% of fathers</a> took up any of the shared leave. </p>
<p>In 1995 Sweden upped the “daddy quota” to bring more balance to the scheme. Now the Swedish government mandates <a href="https://sweden.se/quickfact/parental-leave/">three months’</a> leave as the exclusive right of either parent, with a total of 480 days in shared parental leave. </p>
<h2>Emerging evidence</h2>
<p>There is increasing evidence of the benefits of ensuring a “daddy quota”. </p>
<p>A new study tracking the outcomes of paternity leave in <a href="https://www.oecd.org/policy-briefs/parental-leave-where-are-the-fathers.pdf">South Korea since 2007</a> concludes that taking paternity leave is positively associated with life satisfaction for both <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0001879119300685">fathers and mothers</a>. </p>
<p>Iceland introduced four week’s dedicated paternity leave in 2001. A <a href="https://arnaolafsson.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/7/5/23754531/marital_stability.pdf">2018 study</a> of 600 families compared the relationship stability of couples who had children just after the reform with those who had children just before (and who were therefore ineligible). The researchers found fathers taking the leave was associated with significantly less <a href="https://arnaolafsson.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/7/5/23754531/marital_stability.pdf">relationship breakdown</a>. Their divorce rate was 8.3% lower five years, and 3.4% 15 years later. </p>
<p>One probable reason for these surprising results is indicated in a 2014 Swedish study that suggests fathers’ taking more parental leave leads to greater later sharing of childcare and housework. The study, based on surveys of 235 women and 154 men, found there was subsequently <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.5172/jfs.2014.20.1.19?casa_token=877yX7qMwUMAAAAA:TtAfPXwWm6aJamxJXSuj1DukXpAK233SetsQzHg-gKUoRDlJmMDSGHV272vIn2cQcVj0qr4gB0OPKw">more equal division of responsibilities</a> when dads took more than a month’s paternity leave.</p>
<h2>Improving the system</h2>
<p>Given the opportunity, most fathers would like to take more family leave. In a 2014 <a href="https://www.humanrights.gov.au/sites/default/files/document/publication/SWP_Report_2014.pdf">survey</a> of 1,000 new Australian dads who had taken DaPP leave, 75% said they wished they could have taken more leave. In more than half the cases, the reason was affordability. More than a quarter also reported experiencing discrimination when requesting or taking parental leave.</p>
<p>Given the emerging evidence of long-term positive benefits for families, we need to talk about ways to increase the daddy quota.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/fathers-also-want-to-have-it-all-study-says-60910">Fathers also want to ‘have it all,’ study says</a>
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<p>Designing parental leave systems isn’t easy. Getting the balance right is hard. There are significant equity debates. Who pays? Is it more equitable to pay a flat or minimum rate? Is it more effective to peg the rate to an individual’s salary? Should there be a deadline on when leave is taken? The Swedish system, for example, gives parent seven years, recognising that children’s needs don’t diminish once they can feed themselves.</p>
<p>But if we truly want the best dads possible, we should be discussing how to support them with more than words.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/122047/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sarah Duffy receives funding from the Vice Chancellor of Western Sydney University's Gender Equality Fund</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Aila Khan and Patrick van Esch do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Encouraging fathers to take paternity leave has positive, perhaps even surprising, results.Sarah Duffy, Lecturer, School of Business, Western Sydney UniversityAila Khan, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, Western Sydney UniversityPatrick van Esch, Assistant Professor of Marketing, Kennesaw State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1185662019-06-13T17:15:07Z2019-06-13T17:15:07ZWho’s your daddy? Don’t ask a DNA test<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279196/original/file-20190612-32335-l4jcax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">What are the rules that make a man a father?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/eFmLuPyzgxI">Slava Potik/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>“<a href="https://nypost.com/2017/07/23/man-ordered-to-pay-65k-in-child-support-for-kid-who-isnt-his/">Man Ordered to Pay $65K</a> in Child Support for Kid Who Isn’t His.” “<a href="https://www.news4jax.com/news/investigations/father-hopes-to-change-state-paternity-law-after-losing-custody-of-daughter">Father Hopes to Change State Paternity Law</a>” after losing custody of his biological daughter to another man. The headlines are lurid and seemingly nonsensical. How can a man bear financial responsibility for a child that is not “his”? How can he be denied legal paternity of a child whom he conceived?</p>
<p>The gist of these stories is that such outcomes are not only ludicrous but unjust. Such tales not only appear in the mainstream media but provide fodder for <a href="https://mensrights.com/texas-child-support-paternity/">men’s rights websites</a> and <a href="https://www.nj.com/news/2012/03/nj_legislator_proposes_measure.html">have even inspired bills to</a> <a href="http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2011/feb/12/bill-kansas-house-would-require-paternity-testing-/">make DNA testing mandatory at birth</a>, though none has actually become law.</p>
<p>But <a href="http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674980686">history suggests</a> such cases are not so strange. In fact, they follow from a long tradition in which paternity was a social and legal relationship, not a biological one.</p>
<p>After all, it was only in the 1980s that DNA testing emerged, with its <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1989/07/21/us/the-law-dna-test-dooms-paternity-trials-lawyers-say.html">promise to reveal the identity of the biological father</a>. For most of human history, no such technology existed – nor was it missed. Paternity was based on presumption, deduced from social behaviors and legal conventions.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/279198/original/file-20190612-32361-1gtbj17.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Is a baby’s father set by social, legal, biogenetic factors… or a combination of all?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Mx2f4psEnvU">Minnie Zhou/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<h2>Father, by tradition</h2>
<p>Historically, the father was defined by marriage. Pater est quem nuptiae, in the Roman formulation: The father is he whom marriage indicates, even in circumstances when, well, he could not be. The tradition carried forward over the centuries. According to 17th-century English common law, for example, if a husband was located anywhere within the “Four Seas” of the King of England at the time of his wife’s conception, he was legally presumed the father of her child.</p>
<p>As for children born out of wedlock, courts, especially those operating in the civil law tradition, <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/children-of-fate">deduced paternity from a man’s actions or public reputation</a>. The father was he who cohabited with the mother or kissed the baby in public, the man whom a neighbor saw paying the wet nurse. Paternity was performative.</p>
<p>Such definitions of fatherhood did not mean it was less certain or less true: It was simply that the truth of paternity was social, not physical.</p>
<p>This situation contrasted with the logic of maternity. Mater certissima est – the mother is always certain, in the Roman formulation. Maternal identity could presumably be known by the physical facts of pregnancy and birth.</p>
<h2>A more muddled modern landscape</h2>
<p>Today, according to some observers, reproductive technologies like <a href="https://heinonline.org/HOL/LandingPage?handle=hein.journals/ylr96&div=17&id=&page=">surrogacy and egg donation have disrupted the certainty</a> of the Roman dictum on maternity. After all, maternal identity is not so obvious when the gestational mother who births the child and the genetic one whose egg creates it can be two different people.</p>
<p>By contrast, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.1983.03340180090038">DNA was supposed to make biological paternity certain</a>. And yet the older reasoning that long defined paternity as a social relationship endures.</p>
<p>Today, family law in the U.S. and elsewhere continues to <a href="https://scholarship.law.cornell.edu/cjlpp/vol14/iss1/1/">recognize nonbiological lines of reasoning</a>. A man’s behavior, intent, the nature of his relationship with the mother, stability in a preexisting parent-child relationship – all these criteria, rather than biology, may define the father. If anything, reproductive technologies like sperm donation and new family forms, like those born of the frequency of divorce, have only multiplied the scenarios in which biology may take a backseat to social criteria.</p>
<p>But in some contexts, the biological continues to prevail. This is often the case in immigration and citizenship law. Kin relations play a central role in immigration proceedings in the U.S. and other countries because <a href="https://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/ylj/vol120/iss4/5">citizens can sponsor close relatives to immigrate</a>, and under certain circumstances refugees have a <a href="https://scholarship.law.umassd.edu/umlr/vol8/iss2/4">right to join family members</a> in their adopted country.</p>
<p>Increasingly, countries that are migration destinations use DNA to verify family relationships. In May 2019, for instance, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security began a <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/30/politics/homeland-security-dna-testing-immigration/index.html">pilot program to test Central American migrant families</a> at the southern border.</p>
<p>As critics have noted, this practice <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2019/05/13/rapid-dna-promises-identify-fake-families-border-it-wont/">imposes a narrow, biological definition of family</a>. Kinship practices like adoption, stepparenthood and relationships based on a social understanding of parentage are considered perfectly legitimate when practiced by natives but are vilified as fraudulent and criminal when practiced by foreigners.</p>
<p>These apparently contradictory definitions of parentage reflect the fact that paternity’s definition varies depending on whose parentage is at stake – and how much power they hold.</p>
<p>Law and custom have always purposefully obfuscated the fatherhood of certain categories of men: the slave owner, the priest, the colonizer, the soldier. <a href="https://www.upress.virginia.edu/title/2650">Thomas Jefferson’s paternity</a> of Sally Hemings’ children was publicly obscured for two centuries. In an entirely different historical context, <a href="https://press.princeton.edu/titles/8048.html">German women after World War II</a> found it impossible to bring paternity suits against American soldiers who had fathered their children.</p>
<p>The fact that some fathers, like Jefferson and the GIs, have remained strategically uncertain suggests the very notion of paternal uncertainty is not a biological axiom but a political idea.</p>
<h2>Life’s too complicated to rely on DNA</h2>
<p>Over the last century, the distinction between legitimate and illegitimate children has <a href="https://doi.org/10.2307/838374">lost much of its social and legal significance</a> in the West. The once markedly different criteria for proving maternity versus paternity have largely, though not entirely, disappeared. Under U.S. law, children born abroad to unmarried citizen fathers <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2010/11/sexing_citizenship.html">still do not enjoy the same rights to citizenship</a> as those born to citizen mothers, for example.</p>
<p>At the same time, stratification has been reinforced in other contexts, as in the contrasting definitions of parentage among citizens and foreigners. New dynamics of discrimination have also arisen as assisted reproductive technologies and same-sex couples produce new permutations of family.</p>
<p>Take the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/21/us/gay-couple-children-citizenship.html">recent conundrum</a> faced by two dads and their young daughter. Both men are U.S. citizens and are legally married; their daughter was born abroad to a surrogate. Drawing on a tortured combination of both biological considerations – the fact that child was not genetically related to both parents – and social ones – nonrecognition of the couple’s marriage – the State Department denied their child U.S. citizenship. What such a case shows is not that old laws have failed to keep pace with new family forms, but how the state can generate new forms of stratification even as older ones fade.</p>
<p>With the dawn of the DNA era, many observers predicted that, by revealing the truth of paternity, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.1983.03340180090038">genetic science would one day abolish ambiguity</a> and deliver equality and justice. Today science can indeed find a father, but its impact has been rather more complex than once anticipated. Instead of sweeping away older social and legal definitions with a new biogenetic one, it has actually heightened the tensions between different ways of defining paternity. </p>
<p>Who’s your daddy? Perhaps science isn’t best positioned to answer, because this question arises from society, not nature. It might not be the right question anyway. A better one is, what does society want a father to be?</p>
<p>[<em>You’re smart and curious about the world. So are The Conversation’s authors and editors.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/weekly-highlights-61?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=weeklysmart">You can get our highlights each weekend</a>.]</p>
<p><strong>Editors Note: A picture was been removed from this article after a request from the photographer</strong></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/118566/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nara Milanich has received funding from American Council of Learned Societies (ACLS).</span></em></p>Before the advent of genetic testing, definitions of paternity were primarily social and legal. Science has destabilized these older definitions, but it has not replaced them.Nara Milanich, Professor of History, Barnard CollegeLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1001502018-08-09T10:40:34Z2018-08-09T10:40:34ZHow new fathers use social media to make sense of their roles<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/230965/original/file-20180807-191044-1whaseo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">What dads do online helps them navigate gender roles as society changes.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/father-on-laptop-holds-newborn-son-627677957">Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/los-padres-primerizos-usan-las-redes-sociales-para-entender-su-nuevo-papel-101349">Leer en español</a></em>.</p>
<p>A <a href="https://twitter.com/LADadsGroup/status/1006013346636861441">lawyer in Bermuda became internet-famous</a> for <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dad-daughter-ballet-dance-video-stage-bermuda-marc-daniels-a8389806.html">dancing ballet alongside his two-year-old daughter</a>, comforting her stage fright by being there and doing the dance moves right with her. He knew the part because he had practiced ballet with his children before – and said it was just a <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dad-daughter-ballet-dance-video-stage-bermuda-marc-daniels-a8389806.html">normal part of fathering daughters</a>.</p>
<p>That isn’t a common sentiment about fatherhood, even now. But <a href="http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/06/05/growing-number-of-dads-home-with-the-kids/">social norms have been changing</a> <a href="http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/06/05/growing-number-of-dads-home-with-the-kids/">over the past 40 years</a>, as more women – and mothers – have entered the workforce. While mothers still do more work at home, <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/06/13/fathers-day-facts/">the burden is becoming more equal</a>. However, the concept of father-as-breadwinner is still stronger than ideals of fathers as nurturers. As a result, fathers often <a href="https://melmagazine.com/for-stay-at-home-dads-the-playground-is-as-clique-y-as-high-school-7e29271c2858">find themselves out of place</a> at parks, malls and other areas frequented by mothers and children. The same problem happens when they visit most parenting forums online.</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=-6c1edsAAAAJ&hl=en">My research</a> focuses on understanding how modern fathers find and use online communities of men in similar situations, as they all try to make sense of their own parenting identities. By interviewing fathers and using big data analysis, my co-author and I found that fathers <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/2702123.2702205">seek information and support online</a>, use more anonymous social media sites like <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3173574.3174063">Reddit to discuss sensitive issues</a> such as divorce and child custody conflicts, and blog about do-it-yourself projects as a way of <a href="http://www-personal.umich.edu/%7Etawfiqam/Ammari_CraftingFatherHood_CSCW17.pdf">legitimizing their childcare and domestic work</a> as masculine labor.</p>
<h2>Fathers look for community online</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/2702123.2702325">Analyzing 102 interviews</a>, a <a href="http://socialmedia.si.umich.edu/">team of us</a> found that fathers are active on social media, including posting photos about their children’s milestones, such as walking or crawling, and pictures of activities like dancing and baseball. But fathers are less involved than mothers in managing online sharing of child-related content. We found that <a href="http://time.com/3758085/third-shift-social-media">moms were fielding the questions and making the decisions</a> about whether Grandma could share a picture with the baby on her Facebook wall or if friends could share photos of the child’s birthday party.</p>
<p>I and others have also found most fathers reluctant to share family content with social networks that include colleagues and managers. Mothers felt fewer such constraints, even when their social media accounts also included professional contacts.</p>
<p>In private Facebook groups, though, fathers are willing to discuss their parenting experiences – whether they are small local groups, private chats or even <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/lifeofdaddadsonly/">groups with thousands of members</a>. In these groups, dads gain social support and seek advice, especially from older fathers who have experienced similar problems. Fathers told me that Facebook group discussions ranged from daily parenting experiences like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1exjkyw81yw">diaper changing</a> to more serious <a href="https://theconversation.com/have-children-heres-how-kids-ruin-your-romantic-relationship-57944">issues around marital problems</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/postpartum-depression-can-affect-dads-and-their-hormones-may-be-to-blame-81310">especially for new parents</a>. </p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1exjkyw81yw?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Some dads make online videos about their experiences.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Reddit as a haven</h2>
<p>In contrast, some fathers were reluctant to discuss more personal issues – like divorce and custody – on Facebook, where posts are labeled with their names. Instead, they felt safer using other online names on sites like Reddit, where it was harder for people to associate their posts with their actual identity. When posting under pseudonyms, fathers were willing to share deeply personal details beyond what’s usually appropriate on Facebook. </p>
<p>My collaborators and I analyzed how fathers use Reddit by studying <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3173574.3174063">about 2 million parenting comments</a>. We focused on three parenting forums, including <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/">r/Daddit</a>, a subreddit for “Dads. Single Dads, new Dads, Step-Dads, tall Dads, short Dads, and any other kind of Dad.” </p>
<p>When fathers discussed divorce and custody issues on Reddit, they covered topics as diverse as venting about their plight in family court and detailed legal questions about their cases. Fathers also discussed controversial issues like vaccination and circumcision. One father suggested in an interview that Reddit is a “peaceful place to post an opinion” because he did not have to deal with reactions from friends, colleagues and family members. </p>
<h2>The DIY dad</h2>
<p>When I started talking to fathers about their use of social media sites, I did not set out to ask about do-it-yourself projects, but the theme emerged from the interviews. In one project, I supplemented interviews with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/2702123.2702205">visual and rhetorical analyses of father blogs</a>, finding that fathers blog about their DIY projects and tie that work into their fatherhood experiences and their domestic roles. They engaged their children in projects like retiling bathrooms, teaching useful skills while also carving out quality father-child time. Blogging about these projects gave these fathers a way to describe how they could be <a href="http://www-personal.umich.edu/%7Etawfiqam/Ammari_CraftingFatherHood_CSCW17.pdf">both caretakers and providers at the same time</a>.</p>
<p>Notably, fathers used DIY language to describe work traditionally considered feminine. For example, fathers blogged about <a href="https://www.lunchboxdad.com">preparing lunchboxes</a> and craft work like <a href="http://www.dadncharge.com/2015/07/a-true-art-attack.html">creating children’s toys from recycled trash</a>. When working on traditionally feminine domestic work like cooking, fathers emphasized that they were not only cooking but “<a href="https://www.manmadediy.com/">hacking the kitchen</a>,” imbuing daily tasks with more masculine <a href="http://treplifedad.com/about/">entrepreneurial language</a>.</p>
<p>Fathers today face the paired challenges of shifting domestic pressures in dual-earner families and lagging social preconceptions of dads as breadwinners and mere helpers for mothers. Through my research, I am shedding light on the ways that fathers can find support and guidance on social media, and I hope to promote involvement and inclusion among men in their roles and responsibilities as fathers. </p>
<p>[<em>Deep knowledge, daily.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=deepknowledge">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/100150/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Tawfiq Ammari is a PhD candidate at the University of Michigan School of Information. He is funded in part by a gift from Mozilla. Previously he was an intern at Mozilla and at Microsoft Research.</span></em></p>The tasks of fatherhood are changing, but society’s expectations haven’t caught up. Many dads use online discussion groups, blogs and videos to explore their new identities.Tawfiq Ammari, Ph.D. Candidate in Information, University of MichiganLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/806342017-07-11T01:10:24Z2017-07-11T01:10:24ZHow daughters can repair a damaged relationship with their divorced dad<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177612/original/file-20170710-1385-p0vx9i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">How can dads and daughters reconnect after a divorce?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/swedish-father-daughter-sitting-on-sofa-415425583?src=5ITu_18U2wn4gBYurQD_lw-1-34">Marie Linner/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>In a 2002 study involving nearly 2,500 children, researchers found that <a href="http://books.wwnorton.com/books/For-Better-or-For-Worse/">daughters’ relationships with their fathers were more damaged</a> than sons’. What’s more, estranged daughters are more likely than estranged sons to suffer <a href="http://www.resolution-services.com/images/Divorced_Fathers_and_Their_Daughters_-_A_Review_of_Recent_Research.pdf#page=3">negative effects</a> from the damaged relationship.</p>
<p>If you’re like <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Father-Daughter-Relationships-Contemporary-Research-and-Issues/Nielsen/p/book/9781848729346">most daughters with divorced parents</a>, you probably feel as though your parents’ divorce damaged your relationship with your father, there are things you want to ask him about the divorce but haven’t or you want to contact him but just don’t know what to say or do.</p>
<p>As a professor, researcher and writer, <a href="http://users.wfu.edu/nielsen/">I’ve studied father-daughter relationships extensively</a>. Having taught and advised young adult daughters for more than 30 years, I’ve seen how difficult it can be for estranged daughters to reconnect with their divorced dads.</p>
<p>So how can you repair the damage or strengthen an uncomfortable relationship?</p>
<p>Here is <a href="http://www.turnerpublishing.com/books/detail/between-fathers-and-daughters">what I’ve learned</a> that has helped almost every daughter I’ve worked with to renew, repair and reconnect with her father – even those who haven’t spoken to their fathers for years.</p>
<h2>Obstacles divorced dads face</h2>
<p>If you were a child at the time your parents divorced, you probably were unaware of a lot of the obstacles your dad was up against in trying to maintain a close relationship with you. In fact, in a 2002 survey of 72 family lawyers, 60 percent agreed that the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2002.00325.x">legal system is biased against fathers</a>.</p>
<p>If you want to repair your relationship with your dad, try traveling back in time, putting aside how you felt, and imagining yourself in your father’s place.</p>
<p>Now that you’re older and more mature, it’s time to ask yourself: How could my relationship with my father have been better if my mother, my teachers and the legal system had all actively worked to keep him involved in my life and to make him feel welcomed and appreciated? Considering what he probably went through, can I be more compassionate and forgiving?</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Deadbeat dads like Jeffery Nichols – who was jailed in 1995 after racking up more than US$640,000 in unpaid child support – have given fathers in custody battles a bad name.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/AP-A-NY-NY110-PM-FILE-DEADBEAT-DAD/e75e06efc7e0da11af9f0014c2589dfb/5/0">AP Photo/Joe Tabacca</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Misconceptions about divorced dads</h2>
<p>Americans have developed a lot of <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J087v31n03_08">ideas about divorced fathers</a>. These ideas can influence what we think of friends, family members and co-workers. They can also affect the relationship that daughters have with their divorced dads.</p>
<p>What did you think about these stereotypes before your parents separated? After? Reexamine your own beliefs about divorced fathers and consider how they might have negatively affected your relationship with your dad.</p>
<p>How many stereotypes about divorced dads do you think are true? The more negative assumptions you make about divorced men, the <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J087v31n03_08">more difficult it is</a> for you and your dad to stay bonded.</p>
<h2>Mom’s influence</h2>
<p>Even though she may never come right out and say negative things to you about your dad, your mother can still give you <a href="http://www.resolution-services.com/images/Divorced_Fathers_and_Their_Daughters_-_A_Review_of_Recent_Research.pdf#page=6">a negative impression</a> of him in other ways – the expressions on her face, her tone of voice, the way she acts after she’s talked to him or when you’re going to spend time with him.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this happens to <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Father-Daughter-Relationships-Contemporary-Research-and-Issues/Nielsen/p/book/9781848729346">millions of daughters</a> – especially when dad has remarried but mom is still single.</p>
<p>The more often your mother implied that your father was to blame or is an inferior person/parent, the more difficult it can be for you to have an open mind when it comes to dad.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Mothers can give their daughters negative impressions of their divorced dads – sometimes without even trying.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/happy-mother-teenage-daughter-resting-park-668709043?src=G2EMRUcvv5LCwuFqEyEJDQ-1-47">Ganna Martsheva/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Why are you afraid?</h2>
<p>I’ve found that the best way to reconsider your impressions of your father is to reach out to him and hear about his perspectives, feelings and experiences. After all, if your mother was awarded custody, she likely had ample opportunity to share her feelings and experiences with you. Why would you deny your dad the same opportunity?</p>
<p>Most daughters tell me that the reason they haven’t contacted their father or the reason they won’t talk to him about certain divorce-related issues is that they’re afraid.</p>
<p>What are you afraid of? Angering your mother? Being rejected? How likely is it those fears would come true? If they did, would you feel worse than you do now with a strained or uncomfortable relationship with your dad?</p>
<p><iframe id="6HkfM" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/6HkfM/2/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>In answering these questions, you might find that your fears are exaggerated and are unlikely to occur. You might also realize that even if the worst did happen, it is not as damaging to you in the long run as never having tried to improve your relationship with your dad.</p>
<h2>Reach out</h2>
<p>If you don’t know what to say to your father because you haven’t seen one another in a long time, try sending him something like this:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Dad, It’s taken me a long time to get up the nerve to write you. I don’t know exactly how to start or what to say, except that I’d like us to be in touch again. I don’t want money and nobody has put me up to writing this. I just want us to have a relationship again. Could we maybe start to write or phone? I’ve enclosed a picture of me. I wish you’d send me one of you. Well, that’s about it for now.</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Gathering the courage to reach out can be an important first step in repairing a father-daughter relationship strained by divorce.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/teenage-girl-wearing-headphones-sitting-on-565381111?src=JRAcfOqwrDpIi3F8vkdlWA-1-13">Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Will it be worth it?</h2>
<p>If you decide to follow this advice, will it be worth it? According to <a href="http://www.turnerpublishing.com/books/detail/between-fathers-and-daughters">most of the daughters I’ve worked with</a> over the past decades, yes. Here’s what some of them have to say:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Amanda: “Problems in my family are never discussed or explained – just ignored. Now, 10 years after my parents’ divorce, because I’m finally asking my dad to tell me about his experiences, I’m learning what led to the breakup of our family. And I’ve found the father who had been taken away from me.”</p>
<p>Pam: “He said that the saddest experience of his life was losing me after the divorce. He said it again and again. I had no idea what an impact I’d had on him. I realize that he and I have wanted the same thing from each other all these years. But we never knew because we didn’t talk honestly enough.”</p>
<p>Lynn: “It had been 5 years since I’d seen my dad. I never thought I’d get any response if I tried to contact him. When I sent him the letter, he immediately emailed back. I’m constantly amazed at his willingness to spend time with me now. He said my contacting him was the best gift I had ever given him. I always had this vision of him as some opinionated, overbearing, stubborn tyrant. I never thought he would admit his mistakes, as he has done. I feel loved.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>These are just a handful of the hundreds of positive responses I’ve heard over the last 30 years. Though not all fathers and daughters face damaged relationships, for those who do, the effort to repair those relationships is well worth it.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/80634/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Linda Nielsen does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Daughters across the US feel like their relationship with their father was damaged by their parents’ divorce. Here are steps daughters can take to repair that relationship.Linda Nielsen, Professor of Education, Wake Forest UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/768502017-06-13T02:56:59Z2017-06-13T02:56:59ZThe understated affection of fathers<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/173408/original/file-20170612-10220-1mqb29u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/freeparking/517364675">dvdflm/flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><a href="https://www.marsvenus.com/p/men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus-hardcover">Men may not be from Mars</a>, but – compared to women – they do communicate in very different ways.</p>
<p>Perhaps nowhere is this more evident than in the relationships of fathers and sons. Outwardly, <a href="https://asu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/communicating-affection-interpersonal-behavior-and-social-context">many father and son pairs may appear distant and disengaged</a>. A guy who wouldn’t think twice about hugging and kissing his mom might offer his father only a stilted handshake. Dads who shower their daughters with affection <a href="http://www.fathers.com/s12-championship-fathering/the-power-of-i-love-you-from-dad/">may go years without telling their sons they love them</a>. Men are often chided by their wives or mothers for not being willing to show more affection to their dads or their sons. </p>
<p>Such criticisms overlook a larger truth, one that I’ve spent years exploring as a communication researcher: Often for men, showing affection is more about what they do than what they say. Their ways of communicating love can be subtle. And while to outside observers they may seem like weak substitutes for genuine affection, to many fathers and sons they’re every bit as meaningful as words, kisses and hugs. </p>
<h2>Different ways of expressing love</h2>
<p>Glenn, a 41-year-old participant in one of my studies, has what many people would call a typical relationship with his dad, R.J. On Sundays, Glenn and his wife often visit Glenn’s parents. While Glenn’s wife catches up with her mother-in-law, Glenn and R.J. watch television, tinker with R.J.’s car or tackle a household repair, barely saying a few dozen words to each other over the course of an hour. </p>
<p>In many relationships, these behaviors seem cold or distant. But in the case of Glenn and R.J., the two simply favor actions over words.</p>
<p><a href="https://asu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/communicating-affection-interpersonal-behavior-and-social-context">My research on affectionate behavior</a> has consistently shown that, in general, men are more likely to communicate affection by doing something supportive than by making verbal expressions, such as saying or writing “I love you.” </p>
<p>While I’ve found that this is especially true in their relationships with other men, it’s also true in their relationships with women. With his guy friends, a typical man is more likely to show his affection by organizing a road trip or helping with a roof repair than by saying “I care about you.” Around his wife or mother, he may be more inclined to help with a task that needs doing – mowing the lawn or rotating the tires on the car – than sending a Hallmark card.</p>
<p>It’s easy to devalue these types of behaviors as substitutes for “real” affection. For example, Glenn’s wife believes that Glenn and his father prioritize shared activities because they don’t know how to express the way they feel about each other. </p>
<p>However, Glenn and his dad say that their favorite, most meaningful times together are spent sharing an activity or working on a specific task. To them, that <em>is</em> the expression of love: it signifies and reinforces how they feel about each other.</p>
<h2>The tension between intimacy and masculinity</h2>
<p>It’s easy to understand why many dads and sons appear indifferent to each other. At least in our culture, <a href="https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/51a030_57f0897029504a8d9cbe5841da358cd7.pdf">affection is commonly communicated</a> through verbal expressions and also through nonverbal gestures such as hugging. </p>
<p>Both of these are less common in relationships between men, making it seem as though there’s something missing. But what’s really at play is a misunderstanding about the complexity of father-son relationships. </p>
<p>Family communication scholar Mark Morman and I have found that <a href="https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/51a030_b5b8cfd05304478cabdd909990599400.pdf">the father and son pair is complicated</a> by the need to negotiate a complex tension between masculinity and intimacy.</p>
<p>On one hand, the bond between dads and sons is a family relationship. People tend to feel closer and more invested in their families than they do in many other social bonds. </p>
<p>On the other hand, the father and son pair is a relationship between two males – one that’s subject to cultural expectations about how men are supposed to act toward each other. <a href="https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/51a030_d238b70cb04d4c6ebe45194879a1b571.pdf">Traditional masculinity</a> has tended to privilege qualities like competition, independence and self-sufficiency. This comes at the expense of outward expressions of intimacy, which can convey vulnerability.</p>
<h2>Wishing for more</h2>
<p>Glenn told me that his dad became less outwardly affectionate toward him once Glenn became a teenager. I’ve found <a href="https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/51a030_470f2425e40d45fc95eb1e2873acbc6f.pdf">this evolution in the father and son relationship</a> is quite common. At a certain point, many dads and sons will base their relationships on shared activities instead of shared words. Meanwhile, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Communicating-Affection-Interpersonal-Behavior-Relationships-ebook/dp/B00ARF2GBE/">fathers tend not to curtail verbal displays of affection with their daughters</a> in the same way, nor do mothers with their sons or daughters. </p>
<p>Like Glenn’s wife and mother, many women wonder aloud why the men in their lives aren’t more expressive and open. From time to time, even Glenn wished aloud that he and his dad could talk about their feelings for each other more directly. </p>
<p>As I explain in my book “<a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=-27tDQAAQBAJ">The Loneliness Cure</a>,” there’s nothing wrong with wanting a more expressive relationship. Indeed, many men do successfully become more verbally affectionate with their fathers or their sons.</p>
<p>There’s an important lesson here, though: Many male relationships are already richer and more meaningful than they appear to be. And the unique way men relate to one another deserves to be honored rather than belittled. </p>
<p>[<em>Insight, in your inbox each day.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=insight">You can get it with The Conversation’s email newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/76850/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kory Floyd does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Wives sometimes chide their husbands for being cold or distant toward their sons. But men express their love in subtle ways that deserve to be honored rather than belittled.Kory Floyd, Professor of Communication, University of ArizonaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/773862017-05-31T02:05:31Z2017-05-31T02:05:31ZHow families with 2 dads raise their kids<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/169154/original/file-20170512-3692-iw7smd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The number of men married to each other who have children is rising following legal rulings about marriage equality.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/two-young-fathers-on-sofa-home-279907355">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Some states, including <a href="http://www.legis.state.tx.us/tlodocs/85R/billtext/pdf/HB03859I.pdf">Texas</a>, <a href="http://www.sdlegislature.gov/docs/legsession/2017/Bills/SB149H.pdf">South Dakota</a> and <a href="https://rewire.news/legislative-tracker/law/alabama-child-placing-agency-inclusion-act-hb-24/">Alabama</a>, have tried to defy the <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/14pdf/14-556_3204.pdf">2015 Supreme Court ruling</a> that made marriage equality the law of the land. Their “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/apr/05/texas-sb17-lgbt-discrimination-religious-freedom">religious freedom</a>” bills allow taxpayer-funded agencies to deny qualified LGBTQ adults to foster and adopt children.</p>
<p>LGBTQ protection in education appears limited as well. When pressed on the question, Education Secretary <a href="https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/435849-lawmaker-presses-devos-for-personal-opinion-on-lgbtq">Betsy DeVos</a> is refusing to tell lawmakers whether she believes the federal government should include “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” in anti-discrimination policies.</p>
<p>That reminds me of how former Kentucky family court judge W. Mitchell Nance refused to hold hearings on <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/04/28/judge-wont-hear-gay-adoptions-because-its-not-childs-best-interest/307679001/">same-sex couples’ adoptions</a> in 2017 “as a matter of conscience.” He resigned after his state’s Judicial Conduct Commission <a href="https://www.kentucky.com/news/state/article181005726.html">found him guilty of misconduct.</a></p>
<p>Maybe any officials, judges and lawmakers who are alarmed by dual-dad or dual-mom households should check out the research on how gay parents differ from straight parents. So far, most of this scholarship has focused on the social, emotional and cognitive outcomes of children they raise. (Spoiler alert: <a href="http://whatweknow.law.columbia.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-wellbeing-of-children-with-gay-or-lesbian-parents/">These kids turn out fine</a>.)</p>
<p>As a former teacher who now <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=bZkHLZAAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=sra">researches gay dads and their families</a>, I’m studying how the growing number of men married to other men are raising their children. So far, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/09540253.2017.1303824">I’m finding few differences</a> between them and their straight peers of similar socioeconomic status – especially regarding their children’s schooling.</p>
<h2>A growing population</h2>
<p>Since the Census Bureau estimates – but does not count – the number of households headed by two fathers, it’s hard to track them.</p>
<p>Plans are taking shape for the Census Bureau to <a href="https://www.npr.org/2019/03/31/707899218/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-2020-census">begin counting same-sex couples</a> who share a household in 2020, although the agency won’t be counting all LGBTQ individuals.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, <a href="https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/same-sex-couples/ssc-house-characteristics.html">the American Community Survey</a>, the Census Bureau’s ongoing demographic survey of approximately 3 million households, already follows same-sex parenting. It estimates that in 2017, almost 40,000 two-dad households were raising children, up from about 30,000 in 2010.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171501/original/file-20170530-23707-oveb7k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Actors Neil Patrick Harris and Gideon Scott Burtka-Harris, who are married to each other, brought their twins to the ‘Smurfs 2’ premiere in 2013.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/inVision-John-Shearer-Invision-AP-a-ENT-CA-USA-/928bdee8326d461b9a6197a35c3a8ed9/2/0">John Shearer/Invision/AP</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Parenting roles</h2>
<p>How do parents in these families settle into specific roles? In short, just like heterosexual parents do.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15504281003704942">Research</a> suggests that affluent, white, two-father households adhere to traditional parenting roles. One is the primary breadwinner, while the other earns either less income or none at all and handles most of the caregiving and chores.</p>
<p>However, two-dad households can challenge the 1940s Norman Rockwell image of gendered parenting – just like heterosexual couples can.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25240028">Households with two fathers working full-time</a> rely on day care facilities, babysitters, housekeepers and nearby relatives for support. Some of these men even take on responsibilities based on <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/1550428X.2014.947461">skills and strengths</a>, rather than who fits the socially and culturally constructed mold of being more “motherly” or “fatherly.”</p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=430&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=430&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=430&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=540&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=540&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/171358/original/file-20170529-25198-7f130b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=540&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Research suggests that two-dad households may not differ that much from the parenting patterns of heterosexual couples.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/different-types-families-158965958?src=o1TFkh4pw8MJT4nX3Cb97Q-1-87">www.shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Community and school engagement</h2>
<p>And that’s where the parenting of gay dads may differ from a traditional heterosexual household, as my research and the work of other scholars suggests.</p>
<p>While interviewing and spending time with 22 gay-fathered families living in the Northeast, I have learned that <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09540253.2017.1303824?journalCode=cgee20">they’re apt to step up</a>. But it depends on where dads live. Many living in more gay-friendly areas become involved as classroom parents, voluntarily assisting teachers, reading books or leading singalongs. Some take leadership roles by becoming active PTA members or organizing events that go beyond their children’s classes. In some cases, gay fathers become PTA presidents or serve on school boards.</p>
<p>Like all civically engaged parents, gay fathers support their local museums and libraries and enroll their kids in camps and extracurricular activities. They sometimes do additional volunteer work for social justice groups.</p>
<p>Dads living in less gay-friendly areas want to have more school-based presence, but concerns about their children’s and family’s safety have made it challenging.</p>
<p>The largest-scale <a href="https://www.glsen.org/learn/research/national/report-iii">survey to date</a> was conducted in 2008 by the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network, an organization focused on the safety of LGBTQ students in schools. That study, which included 588 LGBTQ parents, suggested that gay fathers could be more likely to be involved in school-based activities than heterosexual dads.</p>
<p>Aside from the simple fact that they love their children just like all parents do, <a href="https://www2.clarku.edu/faculty/facultybio.cfm?id=589">Abbie Goldberg</a>, a Clark University researcher, and her colleagues have shown that increased presence may be due, in part, to fathers’ initiatives to <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02568543.2016.1244136">counter bias and assert more same-sex visibility</a> and inclusion in schools. My current study indicates the same. Many of the men taking part have told me that being actively involved helps them preemptively counteract potential negative encounters with school personnel and other families.</p>
<p>Gay dads prefer schools and communities that are safe and inclusive. As my research suggests, living in a inclusive community makes them more likely to engage. Beyond that, they want lawmakers bent on barring them from fatherhood to see that two-dad families are for the most part just like any other family.</p>
<p>[ <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=thanksforreading">Thanks for reading! We can send you The Conversation’s stories every day in an informative email. Sign up today.</a></em> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/77386/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andrew Leland does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Research reveals few differences between the parenting of gay men and their straight peers. But it looks like gay fathers could be more apt to volunteer at their children’s schools.Andrew Leland, Assistant Professor of Educational Leadership, Southern Illinois University EdwardsvilleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/750452017-05-11T12:48:11Z2017-05-11T12:48:11ZWhy dads can’t be the dads they want to be<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168771/original/file-20170510-21593-1q1tapm.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C320%2C1753%2C1194&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">It's about more than gender dynamics: Do social institutions get in the way of dads being dads?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/beach-child-family-father-351495/">Reginald Williams / Pexels</a>, <a class="license" href="http://artlibre.org/licence/lal/en">FAL</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>In most families, mothers and fathers both work hard. Pew Research has reported that <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/data-trend/society-and-demographics/parental-time-use/">moms and dads in the U.S. work essentially equal hours</a> when paid work hours are combined with household chores and child care hours.</p>
<p>Pew also reports that fathers are putting more time into their families than ever before. Yet, many social scientists argue that <a href="https://theconversation.com/dads-are-more-involved-in-parenting-yes-but-moms-still-put-in-more-work-72026">subtle forms of parenting inequality endure</a>. Some <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X13001063#b0320">scholars</a> and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/10/opinion/sunday/judith-shulevitz-mom-the-designated-worrier.html">commentators</a> argue that this inequality results from a patriarchal gender ideology: a power dynamic that affects how parents socialize their children and what roles men and women take on in families.</p>
<p>As a scholar who focuses on fathering and men’s health, I see <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/swr/svw020">my research</a> paint a more complicated picture. While traditional gender attitudes and expectations tell an important part of the story, inequalities between moms and dads are not driven solely by beliefs or interpersonal interactions. </p>
<p>Fathers repeatedly tell researchers <a href="http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/03/14/modern-parenthood-roles-of-moms-and-dads-converge-as-they-balance-work-and-family/">they want to be more involved parents</a>, yet public policy and social institutions often prevent them from being the dads they want to be – hurting moms, dads and children alike.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168782/original/file-20170510-21588-1l45c9e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Moms and children benefit when societal structures allow fathers to be more active parents.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-working-mother-her-little-son-244844188?src=St5aoGiL44r9jZC6sfZM6Q-1-28">Ekaterina Pokrovsky / Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Wasting the ‘magic moment’</h2>
<p>Engaging dads in prenatal care is a potentially powerful way to help set dads on positive parenting trajectories. I recently participated in a <a href="http://sswr.confex.com/sswr/2017/webprogram/Session8432.html">symposium</a> of social work researchers that highlighted the importance of engaging fathers during this “magic moment” in their lives.</p>
<p>Dads who are actively included in prenatal care <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00551.x">form a stronger “father” identity for themselves</a> and are good parents by virtually any measure. In fact, the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12193">impact of the prenatal period</a> is often stronger for dads who are already at risk of having low levels of engagement.</p>
<p>Yet, dads are often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2648.2011.05628.x">actively excluded from prenatal care</a>. Obstetricians’ offices are rarely designed in ways that help doctors and nurses engage dads with their unborn child. For example, many ultrasound rooms do not include space for fathers to see their child for the first time. In general, obstetricians emphasize mother and child health – to the exclusion of other members of the family system.</p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1624/105812406X107780">Childbirth courses</a>, similarly, often tell dads they should be supportive, but do little else to address the father’s role.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168777/original/file-20170510-21615-1k9l3le.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Fathers are often excluded from prenatal experiences, like viewing ultrasounds in real time.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/future-father-holds-ultrasound-picture-421456165?src=QEEABgaqibP3iLzTqdQajw-1-1">bearmoney / Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>After the baby is born</h2>
<p>Family health and well-being are important after babies are born, too. <a href="http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2015/04/15/when-men-get-the-baby-blues">Fathers</a>, like mothers, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2010.605">can experience postpartum depression</a> and struggle with the transition to parenthood. Recently, pediatricians have taken a more substantive role in <a href="http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2015/06/01/how-pediatricians-are-helping-moms-with-postpartum-depression">addressing postpartum depression in mothers</a>. Fathers seldom get the same attention. </p>
<p>This lack of support from the medical profession may hurt families in the long run. My research suggests that being a parent has <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/sw/swu057">similar negative effects on the mental health of mothers and fathers</a>. In fact, in some cases, we found that fathers were more likely to experience depression than mothers.</p>
<p>Failing to acknowledge the mental health of fathers can be problematic. Like depression in mothers, paternal depression has negative effects in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2005-2948">early childhood</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/swr/svx006">beyond</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168774/original/file-20170510-21588-188y6b3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Though it’s given less attention, postpartum depression can be experienced by men as well as women.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://pixabay.com/en/baby-child-cute-dad-daddy-family-22194/">Pixabay</a>, <a class="license" href="http://artlibre.org/licence/lal/en">FAL</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Why the workplace may matter the most</h2>
<p>Obstacles to more involved fathering extend beyond health care. <a href="http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/03/14/modern-parenthood-roles-of-moms-and-dads-converge-as-they-balance-work-and-family/#balancing-work-and-family">Many mothers and fathers struggle to balance</a> family and careers. Public and private policies often contribute to the difficulty, forcing parents to prioritize one or the other. </p>
<p>The U.S. is the <a href="http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/jul/25/kirsten-gillibrand/yes-us-only-industrialized-nation-without-paid-fam/">only industrialized nation in the world</a> that doesn’t guarantee paid maternity leave. To make matters worse, few families have a choice as to whether the mother or father stays home: <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2016/06/16/pf/parental-leave-fathers/">Less than one-fifth</a> of American employers offer paid paternity leave. Meanwhile, several European countries (<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/04/maternity-leave-paid-parental-leave-_n_2617284.html">including France and the U.K.</a>) have mandated paternity leave.</p>
<p>Research has shown that generous family leave policies <a href="https://www.shrm.org/ResourcesAndTools/hr-topics/benefits/Documents/paid-family-leave-1-2011.pdf">positively impact</a> family health, parents’ well-being and gender equity in the workplace.</p>
<p>Yet, these benefits may not be enough. For example, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/josi.12015">many men do not use leave or flextime</a> if they believe it will damage their careers or reputation. My own research – with colleagues from Brigham Young University – focuses on <a href="https://workfamily.sas.upenn.edu/sites/workfamily.sas.upenn.edu/files/Master%20program%20with%20abstracts%20-%20Thursday_1.pdf">workplace culture and its significance for fathers</a>. Using data collected from fathers of children aged 2 to 17, we found that even reluctant fathers were more nurturing, emotionally engaged and better co-parents if they worked for organizations with cultures and policies that promoted family involvement.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=389&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=389&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=389&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=489&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=489&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168781/original/file-20170510-21627-40ev5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=489&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Many fathers are not given the opportunity to take paternity leave – or fear that doing so would impact their career.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/three-happy-fathers-on-city-walk-281472332?src=gz7c0FZD07LNO4WB3G3p2A-1-2">Olesia Bilkei / Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Structural barriers hurt all family members</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1651-2227.2007.00572.x">Fathers</a>, like mothers, can help their children grow and learn. It’s clear that children in families with fathers <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1651-2227.2007.00572.x">benefit from having an engaged, warm, nurturing dad</a>. Likewise, moms, both at <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X15623586">home</a> and at <a href="http://men-care.org/soaf/download/PRO16001_Americas_Father_web.pdf">work</a>, benefit from dads who share the burden in taking care of children.</p>
<p>The failure to provide explicit, consistent, and strong supports for fathers is a failure to pave the way for a more equitable kind of parenting. My research – and that of many others – shows that if fathers are to take on more caregiving at home, they should be provided with the tools to become more engaged with their families. This would not only distribute parental expectations more evenly, but also eliminate the overly restrictive gender boundaries that <a href="http://sowf.men-care.org/">limit men</a> and <a href="http://www.emeraldinsight.com/doi/full/10.1108/IJSSP-10-2014-0073">marginalize women</a>.</p>
<p>Yes, I applaud changes that have helped fathers be more involved parents than ever before. But it’s not enough. We need cultural and political change that emphasizes the significance of fathers for families and the crucial role women play in the workplace.</p>
<p>[<em><a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=expertise">Expertise in your inbox. Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter and get a digest of academic takes on today’s news, every day.</a></em>]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/75045/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kevin Shafer has received funding from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services as an evaluator on a Responsible Fatherhood program grant. The views in this article do not necessarily reflect those of funding agencies, Brigham Young University, or its sponsoring church.</span></em></p>Why is it all about mom? Fathers want to be more involved in their children’s lives, but are limited by public policy and social institutions. This is a bad deal for dads, kids and moms alike.Kevin Shafer, Associate Professor of Sociology; Director of Canadian Studies, Brigham Young UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/731662017-02-20T17:00:02Z2017-02-20T17:00:02ZThe myth of the fatherless society<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/157327/original/image-20170217-10223-1hkluh4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Blaming fathers for the problems of their children doesn't work.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/father-son-sitting-on-sea-pier-491827588?src=0aaevHb4tP30to71qesY5w-1-60">Natalia Deriabina/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Society has a problem with absent men. Every other week it seems there are warnings that <a href="https://theconversation.com/hard-evidence-what-sort-of-people-are-absent-fathers-20006">fathers aren’t there</a> for their families, and that men are absent from social institutions like <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-male-teachers-can-help-to-challenge-gender-roles-in-nursery-school-education-68255">childcare</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/improving-gender-equality-is-the-key-to-tackling-britains-male-teacher-shortage-68257">schools</a> and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/social-care-network/2014/jul/25/why-so-few-male-social-workers">other support settings</a>. It’s a problem that is driving concern over <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-happens-to-boys-when-their-fathers-arent-around-6062">how children are being raised</a>, as well as the wider difficulties it can cause <a href="http://www.thelondoneconomic.com/tle-pick/the-shocking-cost-of-fatherlessness-in-the-uk/09/09/">outside the family</a>. </p>
<p>This “<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2715151/Britain-s-got-far-fatherless-families-without-NHS-deliberately-creating-more.html">crisis of fatherlessness</a>” debate has remarkable endurance, attracting regular and considerable <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-22820829">public</a> and <a href="http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/PolicyandGuidancePPT_Feb2013.pdf">policy attention</a>, particularly in recent years. </p>
<p>Andy Cook, chief executive of think-tank the Centre for Social Justice (CSJ), recently claimed that almost half of all children born in Britain today will <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/12/fatherless-society-children-in-poverty-iain-duncan-smith--social-justice-thinktank">not be living with both of their parents</a> by the time they reach the age of 15. Cook said that parenting is too much of a throwaway culture, adding that “we need a societal shift in perspective from regarding fathers as a dispensable extra to recognising their value as a crucial pillar in a child’s life”.</p>
<p>The CSJ previously found that 75% of the public believe that fathers not being present is <a href="http://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/core/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/CSJ_Fractured_Families_Report_WEB_13.06.13.pdf">a serious problem</a>. However, referring to the issue as a “crisis” is a massive leap from the CSJ’s “serious problem”. And using it as a key cause for issues like the poverty and social disadvantage that young people face today is problematic to say the least.</p>
<h2>Fathers matter</h2>
<p>In a nutshell, the fatherlessness debate focuses on the lack of men in the lives of their children – particularly boys. Fathers certainly matter to children whether they are <a href="http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/2013/fatherhood-institute-research-summary-fathers-and-their-childrens-education/">absent or present</a>, however, it is when dads are confidently engaged in the lives of their children that there is a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/anna-tarrant/supporting-men-to-care_b_8553602.html">positive effect</a> on child well-being and family relationships. </p>
<p>But the “fear” is overblown. The blame for young people’s poverty or any other issues are firmly rooted in assumptions about the failures of parents: working-class fathers in particular are stigmatised, branded with <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/global/commentisfree/2017/feb/12/fathers-help-create-happy-families-but-the-state-neglects-their-role?CMP=share_btn_tw">lazy stereotypes</a> like “deadbeat dads” and “feckless fathers”. </p>
<p>Though it makes sense to worry that dads aren’t present, it is not so easy to say that the behaviour of the stereotypes are the sole cause of young people’s problems generally. Rarely, if ever, does the discussion include professional men whose busy lives might mean they miss out on spending time with their children, or whose children are schooled away from home. It also says a lot about how we feel about single, female-headed households. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/157559/original/image-20170220-15894-16hvl4k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Deadbeat dads are a dangerous stereotype.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/download/confirm/534774763?src=YIckLf6GpXoq52vv4SJPcg-1-12&size=huge_jpg">www.shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Present without presence</h2>
<p>So where is this concern coming from? Look at the census data between 2005 and 2012 and it shows that – despite increased attention to fatherless families – the proportion of lone parent families with dependent children in the UK has <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/bulletins/familiesandhouseholds/2015-11-05">gone up only marginally</a> since the early 2000s. </p>
<p>The data also ignores the range of social fathering that takes place more and more in <a href="http://oro.open.ac.uk/34117/">reconstituted families</a>. So while the number of single parents has stayed consistent, they may have met new partners. And even where parents remain alone, parenting can occur across households, as well as within. </p>
<p>Both men and women from different generations in the family can also play an important part in raising and supporting children where the father is not present, either <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0966369X.2015.1073703?journalCode=cgpc20">informally</a> or as <a href="https://fatherfiguresresearch.wordpress.com/2016/06/06/father-figures-seminar-a-report/">kinship carers</a>, although this is often with limited financial support. </p>
<p>Looking to the young men themselves, the <a href="http://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/2014/05/real-problem-men-face-today-not-rise-women">social problems</a> they face are often <a href="https://theconversation.com/you-dont-have-to-be-male-to-be-a-role-model-for-men-71296">reduced to gender</a> just to make them easier for the public to understand. This is no help when, for example, both men and women can experience things like poverty, and it shouldn’t be assumed that only men can help men. Fathers and other male role models certainly do play an important part in helping young men to flourish, but women and men in other mentoring positions can provide the care, trust and support that young men might need.</p>
<h2>Young fathers</h2>
<p>Research has previously found that fatherhood can have as much of an effect on the health of men – <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/fatherhood/11781940/Is-fatherhood-bad-for-mens-health.html">particularly young men</a> – as it does on women. While <a href="http://followingfathers.leeds.ac.uk/responding-to-young-fathers/">we are finding</a> that fatherhood matters to young men and they do desire to be there for their children, they are often considered more of a risk by professionals – through severe material disadvantage or criminality – <a href="http://1v9xdi344dkt24du831vqd38.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/files/2015/10/Brieifing-Paper-6-V7.pdf">to themselves or their children</a>.</p>
<p>Young dads with extensive support needs require practical help with education, training, employment, housing and finance, and so are often overlooked as <a href="http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Fathers-and-fatherhood-in-young-carers-families-Final.pdf">capable carers</a> – simply because they are not recognised as being as caring as women. If support services were more father inclusive and attentive to the diverse needs of fathers from all walks of life, this <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-help-vulnerable-dads-be-better-fathers-66105">could help them more effectively</a> to be involved in raising their children.</p>
<p>The research doesn’t back up the “crisis”, and is in fact looking at the wrong issue. Fathers still need support, but they cannot be blamed for all the problems their children may face. The way we talk about and address modern families needs to change too. Rather than stigmatising those who do not live as a nuclear family, we would be better off supporting and including them in our changing society.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/73166/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Anna Tarrant currently receives funding from the Leverhulme Trust. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Michael Ward does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Fathers aren’t to blame for all of their childrens’ problems.Anna Tarrant, Lecturer in Sociology, University of LincolnMichael Ward, Lecturer in Applied Social Science, Swansea UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/611842016-06-17T18:50:16Z2016-06-17T18:50:16ZLow testosterone may make you a better father<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/127128/original/image-20160617-11112-1e7k2u0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Caring father and baby via Shutterstock.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/cat.mhtml?lang=en&language=en&ref_site=photo&search_source=search_form&version=llv1&anyorall=all&safesearch=1&use_local_boost=1&autocomplete_id=&searchterm=father%20and%20baby&show_color_wheel=1&orient=&commercial_ok=&media_type=images&search_cat=&searchtermx=&photographer_name=&people_gender=&people_age=&people_ethnicity=&people_number=&color=&page=1&inline=173470385">From www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Many new parents know that a good night’s sleep is tough to come by. What the new parents probably do not know is that a crying infant can trigger a testosterone dip in some men, which turns out to be a good thing. Less testosterone may make them more empathic and less aggressive, which may make them better fathers. </p>
<p>This information on hormonal changes in men came from a study I conducted with graduate student Patty Kuo at the <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/dev.21370/abstract">University of Michigan</a>. It provides a window into men’s parenting, and it may help them become more nurturing fathers.</p>
<p>In both mothers and fathers, the sound of a crying baby can trigger a series of emotional responses, from empathy, to annoyance, to aggravation. The best response is empathy, as aggravation can lead to aggressive behaviors that put the child at risk. </p>
<p>We found that when the men saw their infants in distress and their testosterone declined, <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/dev.21370/abstract">they were more nurturing</a> and sensitive fathers when they had to interact with their infants. </p>
<p>We also found that when fathers described themselves as empathetic and when they reported having a loving relationship with the infant’s mother, they were more sensitive fathers.</p>
<h2>Looking for the hormonal link</h2>
<p>Although men with children often have lower testosterone levels than men without children, earlier studies were not always successful in finding a link between fathers’ direct involvement with their children and their testosterone levels.</p>
<p>We knew that men experienced a decline in testosterone and reported more sympathy to the infant when hearing infant cries. But we wondered whether fathers would have a similar response if they had to interact with their own distressed infants. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127129/original/image-20160617-11098-18doefn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Crying infant via Shutterstock.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/cat.mhtml?lang=en&language=en&ref_site=photo&search_source=search_form&version=llv1&anyorall=all&safesearch=1&use_local_boost=1&autocomplete_id=&searchterm=father%20and%20baby&show_color_wheel=1&orient=&commercial_ok=&media_type=images&search_cat=&searchtermx=&photographer_name=&people_gender=&people_age=&people_ethnicity=&people_number=&color=&page=1&inline=173470385">From www.shutterstock.com</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>To do this, we used a common research paradigm in the field to assess the infant’s attachment relationship with their parents, called the <a href="http://www.childdevelopmentmedia.com/articles/mary-ainsworth-and-attachment-theory/">Strange Situation</a>. Fathers were separated from their infants for three-minute intervals and then later reunited with them. Infants often became visibly upset during the brief separation and sought comfort from their father upon his return.</p>
<p>Afterward, we asked fathers to interact with their infants for 15 minutes and teach their one-year-old how to do some difficult tasks. Then we observed how sensitive and intrusive they were while interacting with the child. We also collected saliva from men before the visit, after the separation episodes and after the teaching tasks to measure their testosterone levels so we could see how they changed over time. </p>
<p>When fathers experienced a larger decline in their testosterone after the separations with their crying infant, they used more sensitive parenting in the teaching tasks. We looked at such things as whether fathers supported their infant’s attempts to work on the tasks or stopped and responded to the infant if they were frustrated with the tasks.</p>
<p>In the process, we have uncovered another clue to promote good fathering, because previous research has shown that sensitive and responsive fathering is linked to young children’s social, emotional and cognitive development. These findings have important implications for developing interventions to assist fathers in the care of their infants because we now know how to help fathers cope with infant distress.</p>
<p>Why? Increases in testosterone in response to a crying infant combined with a father’s inability to soothe the baby can lead to aggravation and aggressive tendencies that place the infant at risk for maltreatment. </p>
<p>Based on our study, we believe the fathers’ empathy and declining testosterone level shaped how they responded. For example, if fathers interpret infant crying as a means of communicating distress and empathize with the infant, they will experience a decline in testosterone. This, in turn, facilitates a nurturing response. </p>
<p>Alternatively, when fathers interpret their infant’s crying as aggravating and feel they are unable to comfort the infant, they may experience increases in testosterone, which facilitates an intrusive or negative response. Intervention efforts can be directed at helping fathers comfort their crying infants in a calming manner. </p>
<h2>When fathers soothe, they feel better, too</h2>
<p>Another <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25440811">study</a> conducted with my colleague Carolyn Dayton at Wayne State University showed that fathers often used fewer strategies to soothe their infants (cuddling, rocking) when they cried than mothers over the first year after the infant was born. </p>
<p>We don’t know if this is because fathers are just less involved in the infant’s care than are mothers, or if fathers just don’t have as many strategies in their repertoire to use because they haven’t learned what to do. This is where health care providers could offer assistance and teach both mothers and fathers effective soothing techniques.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/127131/original/image-20160617-11107-1x461bv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Happy baby, happy father via Shutterstock.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/cat.mhtml?lang=en&language=en&ref_site=photo&search_source=search_form&version=llv1&anyorall=all&safesearch=1&use_local_boost=1&autocomplete_id=&search_tracking_id=0HpkPUS5a9ODgf3RpIhCPg&searchterm=happy%20fathers%20%20and%20babies&show_color_wheel=1&orient=&commercial_ok=&media_type=images&search_cat=&searchtermx=&photographer_name=&people_gender=&people_age=&people_ethnicity=&people_number=&color=&page=1&inline=434347906">From www.shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>When fathers were more involved and shared equally with their partners in soothing the infant, men felt more effective as fathers. Also, mothers were less upset by the infant’s crying at one year. These findings suggest that involved fathers who are able to effectively soothe their infants contribute to the overall well-being of their families. </p>
<h2>Hormonal changes begin in pregnancy – for men</h2>
<p>Women undergo a series of changes during pregnancy, including weight gain, unique food cravings and reduced energy. For men, however, the transition is more subtle, and previous research has shown that most changes occur after childbirth.</p>
<p>A <a href="http://edelsteinlab.psych.lsa.umich.edu/pubs/Edelstein%20et%20al%20AJHB%20in%20press.pdf">University of Michigan (UM) study</a> led by psychologist Robin Edelstein reveals that men experience hormonal changes even before they become fathers. These changes could be a function of psychological changes that men experience as they prepare to become fathers, changes in their romantic relationships or even physical changes they experience along with their pregnant partners.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, fathers’ hormonal changes could have important implications for paternal behavior once their babies are born.
As part of this study, UM researchers examined saliva samples from 29 couples that were expecting their first child. Researchers tested for four prenatal hormones, including testosterone, at four separate times (12, 20, 28 and 36 weeks) throughout the pregnancy to measure any possible changes.</p>
<p>Men who showed larger declines in testosterone reported less hostile behavior with their infant, and their partners reported that they helped around the house more often. Meanwhile, women showed large prenatal increases in all four hormones, which coincides with previous research on expectant mothers. </p>
<p>Men, however, began to experience a dip in testosterone months before they entered the delivery room, which could have important implications for their infant’s development after the birth. </p>
<p>As noted earlier, because testosterone is often associated with aggression, men having lower levels of this hormone after their child is born may be better equipped to cope with their new responsibilities as a parent and provide the nurturant and responsive care that contributes to healthy infant development. </p>
<p>We need more research to bear this out. Right now, however, findings from these various studies indicate that biological changes are already underway as men prepare for fatherhood. The findings also show that they are clearly able to soothe and care for their crying infants. In addition, they show that empathetic fathers in loving relationships with their partners who also experience declines in testosterone in response to their distressed infants, provide infants with the care that enhances children’s social, emotional and cognitive development. </p>
<p>Women may still spend a greater number of hours involved in childcare than men, but an accumulation of studies over the past 40 years has now clearly documented the role of fathers in children’s health and development and the verdict is in.</p>
<p>Fathers are more involved now than in decades past in the care of their children, yet many research studies continue to see fathers as the secondary parent and optional in the lives of their children. </p>
<p>Fathers matter in their children’s lives. Their caring and nurturing, instruction and teaching, as well as financial support, influence children’s emotional health, social competence and cognitive development.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/61184/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Brenda Volling receives funding from the National Institutes of Health. </span></em></p>While many men want to seek treatment for ‘low T,’ a low level of testosterone is good when it comes to being a nurturing father. Here’s why.Brenda Volling, Professor of Psychology, University of MichiganLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/609102016-06-15T09:50:14Z2016-06-15T09:50:14ZFathers also want to ‘have it all,’ study says<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/126609/original/image-20160614-22411-5onv6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Dads need support, too.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Have you seen the T-shirt slogan: Dads don’t babysit (it’s called “parenting”)?</p>
<p>This slogan calls out the gendered language we often still use to talk about fathers. Babysitters are temporary caregivers who step in to help out the parents. But the fact is that fathers are spending more time with their children than ever before. In fact, <a href="http://men-care.org/soaf/">American fathers today</a> spend 65 percent more time with their children during the workday than they did 30 years ago.</p>
<p>According to the <a href="http://www.whenworkworks.org/be-effective/resources/national-study-of-the-changing-workforce">2016 National Study of the Changing Workforce</a>, almost half of fathers in heterosexual relationships say they share caregiving responsibilities equally or take on a greater share of caregiving than their partner.</p>
<p>This week we witnessed the release of the first <a href="http://men-care.org/soaf/">State of America’s Fathers</a>, a report that draws on numerous social science research studies as well as new analysis of the 2016 National Study of the Changing Workforce. </p>
<p>As a sociologist who studies fatherhood worldwide, I think the most important message of this report is a simple one: Fathers are parents, too. </p>
<p>But dads’ desire to “have it all,” as we once talked about in relation to working mothers, means that they are also having difficulties successfully combining work and family. The report, among other things, suggests that we need to pass paid, non-transferable, job-protected leave. I agree.</p>
<h2>Work-life balance is important to men, too</h2>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126642/original/image-20160615-22408-1ru8i53.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">American dads are spending more time with their children.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://flic.kr/p/f5wwhN">Harsha K R/flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<p>The State of America’s Fathers report highlights that a majority of fathers experience work-life conflict, and that this has increased over time. For example, <a href="http://familiesandwork.org/site/research/reports/newmalemystique.pdf">60 percent of fathers</a> in dual-earner families say they have problems balancing work and family, compared to 35 percent of such fathers in 1977.</p>
<p>This is likely due to the fact that a majority of fathers feel they don’t spend enough time with their children. This situation may be due to the continued pressures on men to earn a good income. According to <a href="http://www.whenworkworks.org/be-effective/resources/national-study-of-the-changing-workforce">the 2016 National Study of the Changing Workforce</a>, 64 percent of Americans feel that fathers should contribute financially even if taking care of the home and children. Millennials are just as likely to agree with this statement as baby boomers. </p>
<p>In my own research published in my book <a href="http://nyupress.org/books/9780814749166/">“Superdads,”</a> fathers continually expressed frustration at not being able to balance work and family. It’s no longer a question of whether fathers want to be more active in their children’s lives, but how they will do so when workplace and government policies do not offer the support necessary.</p>
<h2>Men need work-life policies as much as women</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/126644/original/image-20160615-22404-14c4auj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Striking a balance is work for men, too.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">KONCENSUS/flickr</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span>
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<p>A big part of the problem is that the workplace has not really adjusted to working women and caregiving men. </p>
<p>Instead the idea of the <a href="http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11162-012-9256-5#/page-1">ideal worker</a>, someone (usually a man) who can focus entirely on work while a partner (usually a woman) takes care of everything else, still holds power among employers. But the State of America’s Fathers report reveals that most workers have some family responsibilities, and only a minority of families fit the “traditional” breadwinner father, homemaker mother model. Only 20 percent of couples live off of one income. This means that most fathers have partners, female or male, who also work, and more single fathers have shared or primary custody of their children. These men do not have the choice to push off caregiving onto someone else.</p>
<p>Like working mothers, working fathers face stigma when they seek greater flexibility in the workplace. A very similar number of fathers (43 percent) and mothers (41 percent) think asking for flexibility could have a negative impact on their careers.</p>
<p>In addition, there is <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/josi.12015/abstract">evidence</a> that leave-taking negatively impacts chances of promotion, frequency of raises, and performance evaluations, and these penalties are stronger for men than women. Men who seek flexibility are even seen as <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/josi.12016/abstract">less masculine</a>.</p>
<h2>The benefits of father involvement</h2>
<p>Why should we be so concerned about men’s ability to balance work and family? </p>
<p>The simple answer is that fathers who take leave and spend more time with their children are really good for their families. Their <a href="http://www.fira.ca/cms/documents/29/Effects_of_Father_Involvement.pdf">children benefit</a> from better cognitive, behavioral, psychological and social outcomes. </p>
<p>According to the State of America’s Fathers report, these fathers also pave a path toward greater gender equality as their sons are more accepting of gender equality while their daughters feel more empowered. Their partners benefit because they are more likely to be satisfied with their relationships and less likely to experience <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0190740901001372">postpartum depression</a>. They are also more able to focus on their own careers, which has the potential to benefit the larger economy as well, with one estimate showing an <a href="http://www.strategyand.pwc.com/media/file/Strategyand_Empowering-the-Third-Billion_Full-Report.pdf">increase of 5 percent in GDP</a> if women’s labor force participation rate equaled men’s rate. <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.00381.x/abstract">Fathers themselves benefit</a> by engaging in healthier behaviors and creating more ties to family and community.</p>
<p>And in the end, men are just as capable of caring for children as women. It is the act of providing direct care for a child that increases one’s capacity for caregiving. Men’s <a href="http://www.pnas.org/content/111/27/9792.abstract">body chemistry</a> reacts the same way as women’s to close physical contact with infants. In other words, fathers show similar hormonal changes, and this means they can experience similar levels of bonding with their children.</p>
<h2>Paid parental leave could help</h2>
<p>In an analysis of policies in 185 countries, the International Labour Organization finds that the <a href="http://www.ilo.org/wcmsp5/groups/public/---dgreports/---dcomm/---publ/documents/publication/wcms_242615.pdf">U.S. is only one of two countries</a> that does not guarantee paid parental leave. In fact, the <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/12/12/among-38-nations-u-s-is-the-holdout-when-it-comes-to-offering-paid-parental-leave/">U.S. ranks dead last among 38 OECD nations</a> in government-supported time off for new parents. </p>
<p>Our only national policy, the <a href="https://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/">Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993</a>, offers up to 12 weeks of leave, but in addition to being unpaid, it only covers about three-fifths of workers due to a number of restrictions. The act only applies to employers with 50 or more employees and only covers employees who have worked for that employer for at least one year. Additionally, 20 percent of employers that are required to comply with the FMLA offer fewer than 12 weeks of leave to employees who are spouses/partners of new mothers (mainly fathers), in direct violation of the law. Amazingly, <a href="https://www.dol.gov/wb/PaidLeave/PaidLeave.htm">only 12 percent</a> of U.S. workers in the private sector have access to paid family leave, and this applies to a paltry <a href="https://blog.dol.gov/2015/06/08/lack-of-paid-leave-compounds-challenges-for-low-wage-workers/">5 percent for low-income workers</a>.</p>
<p>Worldwide paternity leave is becoming more prevalent, with <a href="http://www.ilo.org/wcmsp5/groups/public/---dgreports/---dcomm/---publ/documents/publication/wcms_242615.pdf">71 countries</a> now offering it. Fathers are most likely to take leave when it is specifically designated for them. Around <a href="https://www.hrw.org/report/2011/02/23/failing-its-families/lack-paid-leave-and-work-family-supports-us">90 percent of fathers in Nordic countries</a> take leave. </p>
<p>These programs may seem out of reach, but we have seen successful paid leave in the U.S. Funded by a very small payroll tax of 0.9 percent, California’s groundbreaking Paid Family Leave program helped new parents spend more time caring for their children. At the same time most employers have seen no cost increases or abuse and in fact witness <a href="http://cepr.net/documents/publications/paid-family-leave-1-2011.pdf">less turnover</a> as employees are able to care for their new children and return to work.</p>
<p>We are also starting to see more models of paid leave among <a href="http://men-care.org/soaf/">companies</a> such as Ernst & Young, Facebook and Twitter, but I would argue we need something more far-reaching. The FAMILY Act, for example, proposed by U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York to provide up to 12 weeks of paid leave, is a start.</p>
<p>This will help fathers to have it all, and be the parents they want to be.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/60910/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Gayle Kaufman served as a reviewer for the State of America's Fathers report. </span></em></p>Like moms, more dads are sweating the work-life balance. While just 35 percent of dads reported such conflicts in 1977, today 60 percent struggle to bring up baby while bringing home the bacon.Gayle Kaufman, Professor of Sociology, Davidson CollegeLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/465992015-09-02T00:01:15Z2015-09-02T00:01:15ZThe secret sex life and pregnancy of a seahorse dad<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93394/original/image-20150831-13178-11rdncu.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Tagged male seahorses in the laboratory aquarium.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Camilla Whittington</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>When it comes to bending gender stereotypes, <a href="http://animals.nationalgeographic.com.au/animals/fish/sea-horse/">seahorses</a> and their relatives would have to be one of the most extreme examples. These fish swap the traditional roles of mums and dads as they are the only animals where the males get pregnant.</p>
<p>Even though fish don’t have the external genitalia that we normally associate with males and females, we can still distinguish between them. That’s because we <a href="https://theconversation.com/male-female-ah-whats-the-difference-12786">classify animal sexes</a> according to the size of the <a href="http://biology.about.com/od/geneticsglossary/g/gametes.htm">gametes</a> (sex cells) they produce. Males produce the sperm (the smallest gametes) and females produce the eggs (the biggest gametes).</p>
<p>But in seahorses, the sperm-producers are also the ones that get pregnant. The female transfers her eggs to the male’s abdominal pouch, made of modified skin. The male releases sperm to fertilise the eggs as they enter, before incubating them for 24 days until they are born.</p>
<h2>Investigating pregnant dads</h2>
<p>We’ve known for a long time that seahorse males get pregnant. But until now, we haven’t known much about what actually goes on inside the male pouch.</p>
<p>In new research published this week in <a href="http://mbe.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2015/09/01/molbev.msv177.abstract">Molecular Biology and Evolution</a>, just in time for <a href="http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/australia/father-day">Father’s Day</a>, our team investigated whether male seahorses contribute more to their offspring than just sperm and a container to gestate the embryos.</p>
<p>We took samples from male pouches at different stages of pregnancy and then used new DNA sequencing technologies to assess how pouch gene expression changes.</p>
<p>This is the first time that these technologies have been used to examine the full course of pregnancy in any animal. It allowed us to examine the genetic basis of the processes going on inside the pregnant pouch.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=874&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=874&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=874&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1099&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1099&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93399/original/image-20150831-13172-1i9qf3z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1099&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Male seahorses give birth to hundreds of babies after a short pregnancy.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Rudie Kuiter, Aquatic Photographics</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>We found that seahorse pregnancy is incredibly complex: more than 3,000 different genes are involved. When we examined them in detail, we found genes involved in many different processes. We even discovered genes allowing seahorse fathers to provide nutrients to their developing embryos.</p>
<p>In particular, fathers supply energy-rich fats and calcium to allow the embryos to build their tiny skeletons and bony body rings that sit just under the skin. Other pouch genes help the males remove wastes produced by the embryo, such as carbon dioxide and nitrogen.</p>
<p>Seahorse dads even seem to protect embryos from infection, producing antibacterial and antifungal molecules to ward off pathogens.</p>
<h2>Preparing for birth</h2>
<p>Seahorse birth is even more of a mystery than seahorse pregnancy, and we were excited to find that some of those 3,000 genes also prepare the father and the embryos for labour.</p>
<p>With around one week to go, instead of packing a hospital go-bag, seahorse dads start producing hatching signals. These signals cause the embryos to hatch out from their thin membranes and swim freely inside the brood pouch.</p>
<p>As the embryos take up more room, the pouch begins to stretch, much like the belly of a very pregnant human. The hormone oestrogen also gets involved and these combined forces produce cascading genetic signals that produce birth.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MsHCqrrU-Gk?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">How many offspring can a seahorse dad give birth to?</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Similarities across animal pregnancies</h2>
<p>So seahorse dads make excellent “mums”, performing many of the same functions that occur in females during mammalian pregnancy and birth. Strikingly, many of the seahorse genes are similar to those in other pregnant animals.</p>
<p>This is surprising because pregnant mammals, reptiles and other fish all incubate their embryos inside the female reproductive tract. Their pregnancies have evolved entirely independently of seahorse pregnancy, millions of years apart, and yet we see the same processes occurring.</p>
<p>Why would the genes controlling male and female pregnancies be similar? We think that this is because gestation presents the same set of complex challenges to the parent, regardless of species.</p>
<p>Seahorse dads, just like human mums, need to make sure they can provide oxygen and nutrients to their embryos. We do it with a placenta inside a uterus and seahorse dads do it with thickened skin inside a pouch, but we’ve used similar genetic instructions to get there.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=449&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=449&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=449&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=565&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=565&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/93408/original/image-20150831-15790-oxm3i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=565&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">All thanks to dad for the birth of juvenile seahorses, here being reared in the laboratory.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Camilla Whittington</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Our findings raise the possibility that the same genes have been repeatedly and independently recruited for pregnancy across vertebrate animals – a remarkable display of <a href="https://theconversation.com/au/topics/convergent-evolution">convergent evolution</a>.</p>
<p>We’ve shown how seahorse dads use thousands of genes working in concert to provide the ideal environment for embryonic growth. This is a breakthrough in our understanding of the genetics of seahorse reproduction, although much follow up work is required to definitively test the functions of every one of those genes.</p>
<p>But we still haven’t solved the mystery of why seahorse fathers get pregnant given that females have that responsibility in every other animal. Seahorse mums still contribute nutrient-rich egg yolks that feed developing embryos, but their responsibility for their offspring ends at mating.</p>
<p>So seahorses, with their bizarre reproductive strategies, still have plenty more to offer evolutionary biologists.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/46599/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Camilla Whittington does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>It’s long been known that it’s the male seahorse that gives birth to the young. But what role the father plays in the gestation is only now being revealed.Camilla Whittington, Postdoctoral Researcher in Comparative Genomics, University of SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/458772015-08-17T20:26:54Z2015-08-17T20:26:54ZHow fatherhood is changing for the better<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91274/original/image-20150810-11068-1av1ldr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">from www.shutterstock.com.au</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Traditionally, fathers were breadwinners and disciplinarians. Fathers taught their sons how to play football and encouraged their children to “buy a block of land”. I’ve been researching fatherhood for 25 years and, in the past, the traditional role of the father was manifest. But this is changing substantially. </p>
<p>Today’s fathers are far more eager to take on the job of fatherhood and are determined to be less distant and more hands-on than their own fathers.</p>
<p>The most emotional part of my book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fathers-Sons-Lovers-About-Their/dp/0646288164">Fathers, Sons and Lovers</a> was when I got men talking about what they wished their dad had done. One said sadly that it would have been great to get a hug from his dad.</p>
<p>The result? Today’s dads are determined to take up the role and do it better. <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-2702.2011.03715.x/abstract">Research shows this desire</a> even among adolescent males whose girlfriends became pregnant unexpectedly.</p>
<h2>Diversity</h2>
<p>Dads are diverse and becoming more so. Canadian fatherhood researcher John Hoffman introduced a review of fathering by <a href="http://www.fira.ca/cms/documents/211/FatherFactorsFinal.pdf">listing all the kinds of fathers</a> we need to keep in mind. </p>
<p>This includes men whose partner is the main earner; gay dads who have children from an earlier marriage; gay dads who have had children through a surrogate mother; men in various stages of separation and divorce; men who see their children only as their far-distant work permits; and men in cross-cultural and cross-racial partnerships. </p>
<p>Television programs like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_Husbands">House Husbands</a> usefully reflect the many and diverse types of fathers. </p>
<h2>Why is fathering important?</h2>
<p>My discussions with fathers found many did not feel confident with newborns. This resonates with <a href="http://www.fira.ca/cms/documents/211/FatherFactorsFinal.pdf">Hoffman’s research</a>. New fathers feel less confident and need more support from families and friends. </p>
<p>However, the research also found that mothers were more successful breastfeeding when the father attended breastfeeding seminars, showing that the support of the father has empirical benefits in raising children.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.fira.ca/cms/documents/211/FatherFactorsFinal.pdf">Getting involved early</a> is vital for men to do the many tasks of fathering in a way that satisfies them and their partners. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91275/original/image-20150810-11104-bz3gj3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">New fathers reported being daunted by the prospect of a newborn.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">from www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Fathering transforms men. Australian men in my research believed there was a very defined traditional notion of being a man. Men felt they must be strong, never admit weakness, not be emotional except in sport or in the privacy of the bedroom, be endlessly interested in sex, and be wary of anything soft. Only small variations of the “how to be a man” script came out in <a href="http://www.pearson.com.au/products/K-L-Kimmel-Messner/Men-s-Lives/9780205096411?R=9780205096411">US research</a>.</p>
<p>But fatherhood takes men into a domain of nurturing which is often previously foreign to them. Men in a <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?id=vHnEC3dLQ50C&pg=PA236&lpg=PA236&dq=K.J.+Daly+Father+Involvement&source=bl&ots=zKZZXt3tUG&sig=9xUu_RCi_OsuBgrbe8RyCx_Bc0U&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDMQ6AEwBGoVChMIssCm6d2dxwIVC42UCh000A9R#v=onepage&q=K.J.%20Daly%20Father%20Involvement&f=false">2012 study</a> said their children had made them better men and given them useful insights into themselves.</p>
<p>Fathering has <a href="http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/changing-father.aspx">many proven benefits to children</a>, with fathers orienting their children to the outside world with talk of work, money, sport and adventure.</p>
<p><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-2702.2011.03715.x/abstract">Research has found</a> that when their father takes an interest in them, kids’ school results are better, they are less likely to be violent, have a teen pregnancy, or become victims of other adversities.</p>
<h2>Progress</h2>
<p>The challenges of fatherhood are being met in part by more positive messages to dads. <a href="http://www.relationshipsvictoria.com.au/assets/PDFs/Dads-in-Play-Report-August-2012-small.pdf">Fathers are increasingly attending</a> school-based workshops on being a father. Some Australian centres offer programs for new mums and dads.</p>
<p>Governments and employers must reinforce the idea that fathers have a key role in raising a child. Quebec has father-only days for parental leave and now far more fathers take parental leave here than anywhere else in Canada. </p>
<p><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-2702.2011.03715.x/abstract">Researchers</a> strongly recommend that pre-natal classes include informal discussions with expectant fathers. In addition, they should encourage men who are about to become new dads to seek advice from fathers and grandfathers.</p>
<p>We now have <a href="http://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/0775">Dads’</a> <a href="http://www.families.nsw.gov.au/assets/dads-toolkit.pdf">Toolkits</a> and provision for <a href="http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/dad_and_partner_pay.html">paid leave for fathers</a> and partners. <a href="http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1013021/how-dads-bond">Websites to help dads</a> are also appearing far more frequently.</p>
<p>Fathers have come a long way since the days when they were distant authority figures. Young dads are showing their determination to outdo their own fathers, by seizing on the role with energy and enthusiasm.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/45877/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Peter West does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>I’ve been researching fatherhood for 25 years and, in the past, the traditional role of the father was manifest. But this is changing substantially.Peter West, Casual Academic, University of Technology SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/451642015-08-12T20:34:55Z2015-08-12T20:34:55ZFive things every guilty parent needs to know<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/90964/original/image-20150806-1944-v49u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Nobody's perfect – not you, and not your kids. And that's OK.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-13318435/stock-photo-worn-out-mother-with-crying-baby.html?src=pd-same_model-13318426-aHPwdVnypj6MrVjLzTFs6A-3">from www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>It’s the guilty secret many parents are reluctant to admit aloud: no matter how much you love your kids, being a parent can <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?Db=pubmed&Cmd=Retrieve&list_uids=22947781&dopt=abstractplus">make you feel bad</a>. </p>
<p>But Google knows you’re not alone. Look up the phrase <a href="https://www.google.com.au/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=guilty+parent">guilty parent</a> and you’ll get more than 70 million results. Unfortunately, most of that advice is based on <a href="http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754">opinion</a>, <a href="http://www.parenting.com/article/debunking-pregnancy-old-wives-tales">folklore</a> or <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-nichols-grossi/10-pearls-of-parenting-wisdom_b_7026776.html">individual experience</a>; it’s rarely based on evidence.</p>
<p>So what exactly do we know about the causes of parental guilt? And how can you turn feeling bad into a change for the better?</p>
<h2>Don’t worry – it’s normal</h2>
<p>The first, and perhaps most important, thing to know about parental guilt is that, at some point, every parent will experience it.</p>
<p>One of the best parts of our work is running parenting classes, where complete strangers from all walks of life come to learn <a href="http://www.parentingrc.org.au/images/stories/evidence_review_parenting_interventions/main_report_evidencereviewparentinginterventions.pdf">evidence-based strategies</a> to increase their confidence and skills.</p>
<p>We start each new class by asking parents why they’ve come. And in every class, as we work our way around the room, one parent after another admits that they are not sure what to do – they’ve read the books, Googled the answers, listened to their neighbours, tried the old wives’ tales, and whatever they try <em>still</em> isn’t working. </p>
<p>As they share their stories, the mood in the room lifts. People start to smile in recognition; maybe they’re <a href="http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/what-no-one-tells-you-about-parenting-it-sucks-a-lot-of-the-time/story-fnet08xa-1227427579720">not the only ones</a> who are struggling with life’s greatest gift – their children!</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xDELQIIl1YM?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">ABC TV’s The Checkout satirises the endless ways mothers are guilted into buying things they don’t need.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Understanding the guilty brain</h2>
<p>People feel guilt when their actions or thoughts don’t match their standards for themselves. It is considered a <a href="http://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev.psych.51.1.665">moral emotion</a> that helps us regulate our interactions with others.</p>
<p>Guilt can be useful when it enables us to be self-reflective and to <a href="http://doi.wiley.com/10.1111/1467-6494.00001">pay attention to others’s emotions</a>. When a person feels guilty, they experience an increased activation of brain areas involved with <a href="http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S1053811904004288">taking another person’s perspective</a> and <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0304394009004133">being empathic</a>. As a result, guilt often motivates people to <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/18/6/524.short">make amends</a>. </p>
<p>However, guilt can be a harmful emotion – especially because not everyone who feels guilty takes action to decrease their guilt. When people feel guilty, they are likely first to <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/18/6/524.short">withdraw from the situation</a>. Guilt has been described as a way to <a href="http://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev.psych.51.1.665">punish oneself</a>.</p>
<p>One study even found that parents cited <a href="http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/14/657">guilt as a barrier to exercise</a>. There is evidence that supports the common saying that people feel “<a href="http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0069546">weighed down by guilt</a>”.</p>
<h2>Common causes of guilt, from work to play</h2>
<p><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18211146">Balancing a career and a family</a> is a great source of guilt for both men and women. <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org.ezproxy.library.uq.edu.au/index.cfm?fa=search.displayRecord&id=FB666926-F012-65FC-E9C4-B6CC08535B89&resultID=19&page=1&dbTab=all&search=true">Research</a> has also shown that women can feel a sense of guilt and failure about having lowered levels of libido and subsequent intimacy with their partners following childbirth. </p>
<p>An annual checkup with the paediatrician can be another source of guilt for parents, especially if they find out that their child may be <a href="http://hpq.sagepub.com/content/20/5/649.full">at risk for obesity</a>.</p>
<p>Then, as children grow and other siblings come along, parents can feel guilty about <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?Db=pubmed&Cmd=Retrieve&list_uids=22947781&dopt=abstractplus">favouring</a> one child over the other.</p>
<p>Discipline is another common source of guilt. Parents will often say they feel guilty about being too lenient with their children and “caving in”; they can feel equally guilty about becoming aggravated and resorting to yelling or smacking. </p>
<p>Then there’s techno-guilt: worrying about <a href="http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=2702199">phone use in the playground</a> and feeling unease about using <a href="https://www.ecu.edu.au/news/latest-news/2014/12/toddlers-and-tablets-parents-techno-guilt">phones and other devices</a> to distract toddlers and preschoolers.</p>
<h2>Five tips for parental guilt</h2>
<p>Given these and many more potential causes of parental guilt, how can you avoid becoming overwhelmed?</p>
<p><strong>1. Remember – parental guilt is normal</strong></p>
<p>The next time you’re feeling like the worst parent in the world, remember: every parent feels like that at times. Sometimes, simply reminding yourself of that can be enough to get you through the day.</p>
<p><strong>2. Let go of perfection</strong></p>
<p>Having realistic expectations of yourself and your children can make a big difference. At the end of a long day, dealing with a toddler who refuses to go to bed will never be easy. Be realistic about your capacity to solve every problem effortlessly and without stress. It’s not always possible.</p>
<p>Nobody’s perfect. Not you, and not your kids. And that’s OK.</p>
<p><strong>3. Channel your thoughts and feelings into action</strong></p>
<p>Guilt can weigh you down and hold you back – or it can be the start of a change for the better.</p>
<p>While guilt can be harmful, it’s also associated with positive traits, such as being more empathetic. Let the knowledge that guilt is linked to a desire to do something differently motivate you to change what’s making you feel guilty.</p>
<p><strong>4. Seek out reliable, evidence-informed parenting advice</strong></p>
<p>Look for programs that have evidence of their effectiveness, including evidence of scientific success in actually resolving the issue at hand. And consider what form of help suits you best: are you looking for resources online, in a group setting or one-on-one in person? </p>
<p>If you’re looking for places to start, some good options to check out include the <a href="http://www.raisingchildren.net.au">Raising Children Network</a> in Australia, <a href="http://www.blueprintsprograms.com/">Blueprints for Healthy Youth Development</a> in the United States, or the UK government’s <a href="http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20140311170415/http://education.gov.uk/commissioning-toolkit/Programme/ParentsSearch">Department of Education</a>.</p>
<p><strong>5. Create a network of encouragement with other parents</strong></p>
<p>You can build your own network of encouragement with other parents. Share your stories – not just the highs, which are natural to want to talk up, but also the lows – and offer positive feedback. </p>
<p>The goal is to create a connected group of people who prompt one another to share ideas and access evidence-informed information.</p>
<p>And whenever you need to, go back to tip 1: remind yourself and your friends that feeling guilty is a normal part of being a parent.</p>
<p><em>* John Pickering’s author Q&A is now over, but you can read his comments below or listen to his <a href="https://soundcloud.com/702abcsydney/the-f-factor-parental-guilt-with-john-pickering">interview on ABC Sydney 702</a>. You can also have your say on this topic via this <a href="https://uqpsych.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_895Gk0Yz6UK0Qrr&Q_JFE=0">two-minute research survey</a>.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/45164/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>John Pickering is an employee of The University of Queensland (UQ). UQ owns The Triple P-Positive Parenting Program. The University through its technology transfer company, UniQuest Pty Ltd, has licensed Triple P International Pty Ltd to publish and disseminate the program worldwide. Royalties stemming from published Triple P resources are distributed to the University and contributory authors. John Pickering has no authorial connection to Triple P and is not a financial recipient of program dissemination. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Margaret Crane is an employee of The University of Queensland (UQ). UQ owns The Triple P-Positive Parenting Program. The University through its technology transfer company, UniQuest Pty Ltd, has licensed Triple P International Pty Ltd to publish and disseminate the program worldwide. Royalties stemming from published Triple P resources are distributed to the University and contributory authors. Margaret Crane has no authorial connection to Triple P and is not a financial recipient of program dissemination. </span></em></p>Feeling guilty and out of your depth as a parent? You’re not alone – and there are ways to turn the guilt you’re feeling into positive changes for your family.John Pickering, Head, Triple P Innovation Precinct, The University of QueenslandMargaret Crane, Research and Innovation Officer, The University of QueenslandLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/437522015-06-25T16:04:28Z2015-06-25T16:04:28ZDeclining sperm quality in older men puts the issue at the centre of fertility debate<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/86392/original/image-20150625-13016-11w8ruf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">"Mummy says you should have gotten a move on."</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>We tend to think of women’s declining fertility as being the reason older couples can struggle to conceive. But, in fact, the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-21197679">growing number</a> of men putting off fatherhood until later in life may find there are big consequences for them and their kids – or lack of them.</p>
<p>One scientist, Dr Kevin Smith of Abertay University in Dundee, has even gone so far as to call for the NHS to <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-33253278">start freezing</a> the sperm of all 18-year-old men in the UK. He argues this could enable the men to have children later in life without some of the risks associated with doing so.</p>
<p>The “right time” to become a parent is less clear biologically for men than for women. Men don’t go through an equivalent to the menopause. But this may have lured us into a false sense that fatherhood is just as natural at 70 as at 20 years old. </p>
<p>The social acceptability of older fatherhood has been reinforced by celebrities such as <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4371034/Paul-McCartney-says-he-loves-fatherhood-at-66.html">Paul McCartney</a>, <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/7935821/Rod-Stewart-to-be-a-father-at-66-celebrities-who-became-dads-in-their-autumn-years.html">Rod Stewart</a> and <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2277922/Steve-Martin-father-time-age-67.html">Steve Martin</a> becoming dads again in their middle-to-old age. Society assumes that sperm from older men are just as healthy as those from young men. But the <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25926606">evidence suggests</a> this is a myth.</p>
<h1>Declining quality</h1>
<p>Most scientists agree that <a href="http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/121-a46/">the quality</a>, if not <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-2605.2005.00635.x/abstract">the quantity</a>, of sperm has decreased in the past 50 years. “Just 25% of European men have good-quality sperm” <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/health/news/article4473064.ece">we were told</a> by the University of Copenhagen’s Niels Jorgensen at a recent conference, where he reported his 70 years’ worth of data. This decline in quality, he said, can lead to longer times to natural conception, smaller families and as many as “15% of men [needing] to resort to fertility treatment to have a family”.</p>
<p>However, given that a man can produce up to 500m sperm in a single ejaculate, the winning sperm is likely to be among that man’s best, whether successful in spontaneous conception or with fertility treatment. So the risk of that particular sperm being of poor quality and causing problems with resulting children isn’t likely to be significantly affected by declining overall quality. The <a href="http://www.pm360online.com/eshre-art-does-not-hurt-academic-performance-in-teens/">latest reassuring evidence</a> suggests that artificially conceived children achieve equal academic performance and experience no increased risk of cancer compared to children conceived naturally. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/86414/original/image-20150625-13016-13ptqnt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">No time to wait.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Because this decline in the male population’s semen quality has been observed over such a short time interval, it may be caused by lifestyle, occupation and environment rather than by genetic anomalies. If so, we may be able to prevent any further impairment or even improve semen quality again (<a href="https://theconversation.com/are-plastics-making-men-infertile-43751">although it won’t be easy</a>). </p>
<p>However, the growing number of older fathers is more concerning. There is <a href="http://www.rbej.com/content/13/1/35">much evidence</a> that sperm quality falls as men get older, from around the age of 40. Unlike the problems with young men’s sperm quality, problems for older men are more likely to be genetic, less likely to be reversible and come with possible short and long-term effects on potential children.</p>
<h1>Men matter</h1>
<p>The impact of how men’s DNA changes over time on the health of any children they father is a much-neglected topic. Even in the 21st century, we tend to consider “mother and baby” health together and reduce the father to a single sperm of standard quality. This is tantamount to treating human reproduction as an asexual process where the mother effectively clones herself (parthenogenesis).</p>
<p>Over the past decade the rapid advances in molecular technology have shown that assumption to be incorrect. <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24194569">Numerous studies</a> report links between older fathers and increased risk of genetic diseases specifically associated with DNA mutations, abnormal numbers of chromosomes, and the effect of environmental (epigenetic) factors on genes. </p>
<p>Together, these <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25926606">robust studies</a> show associations between older fatherhood and greater rates of cancer, childhood mortality and mental disorders such as bipolar disease, autism and schizophrenia.</p>
<p>One <a href="http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1814892">piece of research</a> suggests that children born to fathers older than 45 are more likely to die in childhood than the general population. <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24577047">Similar evidence</a>
was found showing a greater likelihood of suicide attempts, substance abuse problems and low educational attainment.</p>
<p>Smith has done this issue a great service by raising the perils of delayed fatherhood. While I do not believe the risks justify freezing the sperm of every 18-year-old in the country – nor do I think men would use this service – Smith’s suggestion has raised the profile of this problem a lot in just one day.</p>
<p>Is there an age when men are less “fit for fatherhood”? We certainly have sufficient evidence to suggest that healthy babies are more likely to be born to young men as well as young women. When it comes to parenthood, men need to “man up” sooner.</p>
<p><em>This article has been amended to state that Dr Kevin Smith works for Abertay University in Dundee, not Dundee University as previously stated.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/43752/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sheena Lewis receives funding from NIHR and EU. She is also CEO of a university spin out company , Lewis Fertility Testing Ltd </span></em></p>Calls to freeze every 18-year-old’s sperm might be drastic but men need to realise it’s a myth that there’s no limit to their fertility.Sheena Lewis, Professor of Reproductive Medicine, Queen's University BelfastLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/372662015-02-12T03:37:25Z2015-02-12T03:37:25ZFathers with mental illness deserve better than stigma<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/71689/original/image-20150211-25693-ejy4e3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Some fathers with mental illness feel discriminated against for their – perceived or actual – inability to meet the traditional paternal responsibilities of provider, protector and role-model. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/xman/1486833803">momento mori/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">CC BY-NC-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Where there is mental illness, there’s almost invariably social disapproval and discrimination. And a <a href="https://www3.aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/fatherhood-and-mental-illness">report released by the Australian Institute of Family Studies</a> today shows fathers with mental illness can face unique hardships. </p>
<p>People already afflicted by mental ill-health often face the additional burden of stigma; of being perceived as having a “spoiled identity”, to use <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erving_Goffman">American sociologist Erving Goffman’s</a> evocative term. Indeed, stigma is <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11202034">increasingly recognised</a> as a central issue for the entire mental health field. </p>
<p>For the <a href="http://pb.rcpsych.org/content/33/1/22.full">estimated</a> 20% of Australian mental health service users who have dependent children, stigma can take new forms. Negative stereotypes about parents with a mental illness are rife in the media, in the general public and even among mental health workers. </p>
<p>Parents are judged as incompetent or dangerous based solely on their mental health status. Regardless of how dedicated and capable they are as parents, many end up seeing themselves in the light of these stereotypes. (“I’m bound to screw up my kids somehow.”) </p>
<p>Families can also face “stigma by association”, where the children or partners of a person with mental illness are abused, blamed or avoided because of their family member’s condition. (“Na-na, your dad’s a psycho.”)</p>
<h2>What about dads?</h2>
<p>But the picture of what such families face has been incomplete. Almost all of the existing research on parenting and mental illness stigma has focused on mothers. There are many reasons for this, including their <a href="http://asr.sagepub.com/content/76/6/834.abstract">greater involvement in daily childcare activities</a> and the well-known <a href="http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/9/3/229.full">difficulties of recruiting men into research studies</a>. </p>
<p>The discipline of psychology is only just emerging from <a href="http://books.google.com.au/books/about/Bad_Mothers.html?id=JXAvPCLwFJIC&redir_esc=y">decades of mother-blaming</a>, so it’s probably fair that efforts at understanding parents’ stigma have mostly focused on exonerating women from unjust blame and shame.</p>
<p>But there are reasons why it’s important to focus separately on fathers’ experience of stigma. Men may experience mental illness differently to women, often use different strategies to self-manage their problems and are generally more reluctant to seek help for health concerns. </p>
<p>Perhaps most importantly, men and women are subject to different gender and parenting norms. Stigma tracks along gendered lines, with men stigmatised for failing to exhibit “masculine” qualities such as strength, stoicism and self-sufficiency. </p>
<h2>Dads and stigma</h2>
<p>Stigma is a prominent theme in the <a href="https://www3.aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/fatherhood-and-mental-illness">review of the research on fatherhood and mental illness</a> released today. It found stigma especially prevalent in qualitative literature, which explores participants’ lived experiences of mental illness and family life. </p>
<p>Many of the fathers who participated in this qualitative research described fatherhood as central to their self-image. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=392&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=392&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=392&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=492&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=492&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/71692/original/image-20150211-25684-1xw0pn0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=492&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Regardless of how dedicated and capable they are as parents, many men end up seeing themselves in the light of negative stereotypes.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/lloydm/2305701220">Lloyd Morgan/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Nonetheless, some felt discriminated against for their (perceived or actual) inability to meet the traditional paternal responsibilities of provider, protector and role-model. Some had internalised this discrimination. They described deep feelings of shame and failure about parenting.</p>
<p>Other fathers saw the welfare system as biased against them. They felt they were automatically viewed as a risk to their children because of their illness, and so were under observation much of the time. A few believed their illness had been unfairly used against them in custody disputes. </p>
<p>Most worrying of all, fathers shared their fear that if they accessed services, or revealed the true extent of their mental health issues, they would be at risk of losing custody of their children. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, there is evidence to support these fathers’ perceptions: a number of <a href="https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/families-and-children/publications-articles/number-22-engaging-fathers-in-child-and-family-services-participation-perceptions-and-good-practice">Australian</a> and <a href="http://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/distributed/C/bo13436992.html">international</a> studies have found that welfare workers often hold negative or ambivalent attitudes towards fathers. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/23720799?sid=21105814338853&uid=3737536&uid=2129&uid=70&uid=2&uid=4">An analysis of the child protection system in the United Kingdom</a>, for instance, identified two dominant discourses about male clients: they were seen as “a threat”, presumed to be violent and manipulative; and they were perceived to be of “no use”, said to spend little time on and have few skills for child rearing. </p>
<h2>Families deserve better</h2>
<p>There are no simple answers in the fight against stigma. Public education and awareness-raising may help, especially when it seems that the most common catalyst for public discussion of fathers’ mental illness is a man tragically killing his offspring. Peer-support groups and father-sensitive parenting education programs could promote men’s self-empowerment. </p>
<p>The Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (<a href="http://www.copmi.net.au/">COPMI</a>) initiative provides excellent resource and informational support for families. Such supports include <a href="http://www.copmi.net.au/parents-and-families/dads/the-importance-of-being-dad.html">The Importance of Being a Dad</a>, which is specifically designed for fathers in families where a parent has a mental illness. </p>
<p>But COPMI’s remit falls short of the transformative system-wide reform that would be necessary to ensure Australian health and welfare services are capable of effectively engaging fathers with mental ill-health. Efforts at change will falter until we address the discriminatory practices embedded in mainstream service systems. </p>
<p>If parents fear accessing services that would help them become the safe and loving caregivers they are capable of being, then service systems are failing. </p>
<p>If the instruments we use to assess risk in families automatically record parental mental illness as a “risk factor”, regardless of parenting capacity or commitment, then we need new assessment tools. </p>
<p>Parenting is hard enough as it is, and fathers with mental illness tread a more difficult path than most. Ideally, their difficulties would be met by understanding and support. They certainly deserve better than the stigma and discrimination they are currently likely to face.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/37266/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rhys Price-Robertson receives funding from an Australian Postgraduate Award.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andrea Reupert receives funding from the Australian Infant, Child Adolescent and Family Mental Health Association (AICAFMHA) for the Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (COPMI) national initiative. </span></em></p>Where there is mental illness, there’s almost invariably social disapproval and discrimination. And a report released by the Australian Institute of Family Studies today shows fathers with mental illness…Rhys Price-Robertson, PhD Candidate, Monash UniversityAndrea Reupert, Associate Professor , Monash UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/287862014-07-23T06:43:54Z2014-07-23T06:43:54ZShared parental leave is a nice idea – but will it actually work?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/54546/original/c949h5w3-1406029553.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Parenting isn't just a day off work.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-192647348/stock-photo-confused-businessman-holding-a-crying-baby-isolated-on-white-background.html?src=ZJsfo9nDG85p2rkm2DV8uQ-1-67">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>According to <a href="http://www.natcen.ac.uk/our-research/research/fathers,-work-and-families-in-twenty-first-century-britain/">NatCen research</a>, British fathers are among the worst in Europe at making time for their families. </p>
<p>Spending huge amounts of time at work is seen as a sign of discipline and commitment, while fathers who choose to spend more time with their families are often forced out of their (full-time) jobs. Their departure, however, carries more stigma than women’s leaving might. </p>
<p>This is a ridiculous situation. Women have long been expected to take more time off from work to care for children (or other dependants) than men – and they still do. This practice has become a major problem for the “female worker”; wary of losing employees, employers often refrain from <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/news/1m-million-to-help-tackle-pregnancy-discrimination-in-the-workplace">hiring or promoting women</a>. </p>
<p>As long as men take little or no time off to care for their families while women take a lot more, the pattern can be expected to persist. To put it another way, the costs of having children are still disproportionately borne by all women, while the benefits of producing generations of future workers are shared equally.</p>
<p>On the face of it, the government’s <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/news/shared-parental-leave">new Shared Parental Leave scheme</a>, which will come into force later in 2014, offers an appealing solution. </p>
<h2>Game change?</h2>
<p>The government’s stated aim for the policy is</p>
<blockquote>
<p>To create a new, more equal system which allows both parents to keep a strong link to their workplace.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Among other things, the scheme will allow mothers to return to work more quickly by handing over unused maternity leave days to fathers at any point after the initial two-week recovery period; parents will be able to choose how to split leave days, and will be entitled to the same rights that would have applied had they been at work, with the exception of pay. That notwithstanding, fathers will retain their right to a two-week ordinary paternity leave. </p>
<p>To be sure, the <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2014/6/contents/enacted">Children and Families Act</a>, of which the new <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/286672/bis-14-629-draft-shared-parental-leave-regulations-2014.pdf">Shared Parental Leave regulation</a> is a major feature, is a well-meant piece of legislation, intended to give parents more job security and more control over family life. One of its main virtues is that it not only grants fathers (or the other parent) the equal right to be with their newborns (or adopted child), but also affords children time at home with both parents. </p>
<p>This could reshuffle working parents’ opportunities and constraints, and transform the aspirations and expectations of both parents and employers. Granting fathers access to more paid (and job-protected) time with their children could help redistribute caring and paid work in the family; meanwhile, a greater number of fathers spending more time with their families could help form new norms for contemporary fathering and masculinity.</p>
<p>Our employment practices and decisions about balancing work and family arise from the interplay of policies, economic structures, cultural norms, and historic trajectories. Different institutional arrangements shape people’s lives very differently, but by treating men as equally adequate and likely caregivers, the new approach to sharing parental leave could be a major advance for gender equality (it could also enable <a href="http://careers.theguardian.com/careers-blog/same-sex-parenting-leave-entitlement">same-sex couples</a> to balance working-family life on a more equal basis). </p>
<p>But outside the UK, of course, these ideas are not new. Similar policies took shape 40 years ago in countries such as <a href="http://www.oecd.org/fr/els/famille/swedenssupportforparentswithchildreniscomprehensiveandeffectivebutexpensive.htm">Sweden</a> and <a href="http://www.leavenetwork.org/fileadmin/Leavenetwork/Country_notes/2014/Slovenia.FINAL.pdf">Slovenia</a>, whose governments endorsed (in principle) the notion that both mothers and fathers could and should care for their children on equal terms – arrangements that, in law at least, persist today.</p>
<h2>Rights and responsibilities</h2>
<p><a href="http://esp.sagepub.com/content/24/3/240.full.pdf+html">But the design of laws is every bit as important as the intentions behind them</a> – and four decades down the road, we can now judge how successful Sweden and Slovenia’s initial equal leave strategies were. The evidence is not good: fathers who chose to take leave were few, and increases were <a href="http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/tpp/frs/2014/00000003/00000001/art00004?token=004e1288347b76504c4866462550233e2f7c7a4476556a332b257d7241255e4e6b63312779ef60">slow</a>: <a href="http://nowbase.org/%7E/media/Projekt%20sites/Nowbase/Publikationer/Trygtext/Social%20protection/Trygtext%202003%20GB.ashx">7-9% in Sweden</a>, and <a href="http://www.stat.si/eng/novica_prikazi.aspx?id=2434">1-5% in Slovenia</a>.</p>
<p>This is a sign that the UK government’s light-touch solution probably won’t work, for exactly the same reasons it ultimately fell flat in Sweden and Slovenia. By merely presenting parents with rights, not incentives or requirements, those countries’ initial approaches <a href="https://www.myfamilycare.co.uk/news/questions/shared-parental-leave-part-1.html">failed to engage parents in voluntarily sharing leave</a>. </p>
<p>Framing parental leave as a joint right does little to increase the chances of parents actually sharing it more equally; indeed, some see a rebalancing towards fathering as a mother’s loss. For a feminist who believes in a more equitable division of labour in the family, arguments that many women do not want to share leave with men are disheartening to say the least – to say nothing of the sight of women who choose to return to work early being derided as bad mothers in the court of public opinion. </p>
<p>If we want to generate more fundamental change, opening up freedom of choice is not enough. As things now stand, parents tend to shy away from sharing parental leave. In the Nordic countries, this was the catalyst for introducing so-called “<a href="http://www.nikk.no/en/news/should-daddy-stay-home-with-the-baby/">daddy quotas</a>”, which allocated specific leave time solely for fathers. While those laws were initially introduced in the 1990s, we’re already starting to see their profound impact on parenting practices.</p>
<p>In these countries’ experience, explicitly <a href="http://www.nikk.no/en/news/many-obstacles-for-danish-dads/">earmarking</a> leave for fathers and introducing a <a href="http://europa.eu/epic/practices-that-work/practice-user-registry/practices/gender-equality-bonus_en.htm">gender equality bonus</a> for those who share leave more equally significantly increased fathers’ take-up of available leave. A snowball effect counteracted the stigma attached to fathers taking more time off, and the time working fathers spent with their children increased. </p>
<p>The British government’s failure to propose a more forceful “use it or lose it” structure, designed to create incentives and not just rights, means this well-intentioned effort to de-gender childcare rings hollow. </p>
<p>If the government is serious about improving people’s lives, it needs a clearer and more committed vision of how a good and sustainable society would look, not just a commitment to choice. The formula is simple: the better the state and employers both care for their people with concrete and clearly articulated support, the better people will respond.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/28786/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jana Javornik does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>According to NatCen research, British fathers are among the worst in Europe at making time for their families. Spending huge amounts of time at work is seen as a sign of discipline and commitment, while…Jana Javornik, Post-doctoral Research Fellow in Work, Care and Global Transitions, Building Sustainable Societies Programme, University of LeedsLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/200062013-11-21T14:54:56Z2013-11-21T14:54:56ZHard evidence: what sort of people are absent fathers?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35707/original/cx8tsg43-1384962169.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Fathers stick around if they can afford to.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Orlando Rob</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Since the 1970s, family life in the UK has changed dramatically. Increases in relationship breakdown, remarriage and repartnering have seen us move away from the traditional, two-parent nuclear family and towards more diverse forms of family life.</p>
<p>As a consequence, there are more children living apart from a parent than ever before. <a href="http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/ghs/general-lifestyle-survey/2011/rpt-40-years.html">ONS figures</a> show that the number of single parent families has increased from 8% in 1971 to 26% in 2011. It is estimated that up to 97% of single parents are mothers, which means that a large number of fathers are non-resident.</p>
<p>Non-resident fathers are frequently described in negative terms, just last week the Conservative MP David Davis fell back on the old adage of <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-24916242">“feckless fathers”</a>. However very little is known about non-resident fathers. They are a difficult group to research as no data is systemically collected about them.</p>
<p>The assumed number of non-resident fathers is often based on inaccurate proxies using rates of lone motherhood. Using data from a representative UK-wide survey, information collected from non-resident fathers themselves, we have sought to provide an accurate picture of how many fathers are non-resident and what what sort of people they are.</p>
<h2>Who are non-resident fathers?</h2>
<p>ONS estimates show that more than 20 million men aged 16-64 were living in the UK in mid-2012. From our analysis 5% of men in the UK reported that they had a non-resident child aged under 16 years old, which equates to just under a million non-resident fathers </p>
<p>Of course non-resident fathers form a diverse cross-section of men, with a range of ages, ethnicities, relationship histories and economic situations. However, we found there are a number of key differences between those fathers who live with their dependent children and those who do not. </p>
<p>Non-resident fathers emerge as a more disadvantaged group than resident fathers. They are less likely to be in work, have educational qualifications and be a home owner. For example 25% of non-resident fathers have no qualifications and 17% are unemployed, compared with 17% and 7% of resident fathers, respectively.</p>
<p>Other <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.00381.x/abstract">research</a> has shown that non-resident fathers have poorer physical and emotional well-being compared with resident fathers and men who don’t have children.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=246&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=246&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=246&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=309&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=309&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35795/original/99kx9p5b-1385035209.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=309&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Fathers’ working status by whether or not they have non-resident children.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Natcen</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="http://www.modernfatherhood.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Briefing-paper-Non-resident-fathers.pdf">Our research</a> shows that the ethnic background of fathers is significantly related to non-residency. Fathers from Asian backgrounds (Indian, Bangladeshi and Pakistani) are the least likely to be non-resident whereas Black Caribbean, mixed race and Black African fathers are the most likely. Whereas just 6% of Pakistani fathers and 7% of Bangladeshi fathers are non-resident, 32% of Black Caribbean, 21% of mixed race and 19% of Black Caribbean fathers have non-resident children.</p>
<p>It also appears that the more relationships that a father has had, the more likely he is to have non-resident children. Whereas 73% of resident fathers report that they have only been married once or cohabited with a partner for at least 6 months, only 32% of non-resident fathers said the same. Non-resident fathers reported a range of relationship histories. They are more likely than resident fathers to have had multiple relationships but also more likely to have had no relationships at all.</p>
<h2>Keeping in touch</h2>
<p>The vast majority of non-resident fathers maintain contact with their children, with 38% saying that they are in contact several times a week. Only 13% of non-resident fathers report that they never see their children. Again using ONS population estimates, this equates to just 129,000 fathers in the UK. Given the widely publicised Centre for Social Justice report earlier this year which used terms such as <a href="http://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/UserStorage/pdf/Press%20releases%202013/CSJ-Press-Release-Lone-Parents.pdf">“man deserts”</a> this figure is surprisingly low.</p>
<p>_</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=386&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=386&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=386&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=485&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=485&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35796/original/9j5qbngj-1385036491.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=485&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Amount of contact non-resident fathers have with their children.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Natcen</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Several factors are related to whether a father is in contact with his non-resident children. Those with a second family and those in more difficult economic circumstances are less likely to maintain contact.</p>
<h2>Money matters</h2>
<p>The link between child support and contact is well-established but it is not straightforward and the direction of the relationship is not clear. Nevertheless, despite the lack of clarity on cause and effect, it is evident that non-resident fathers who are in contact with their children are more likely to provide financially for their non-resident children than those with no contact.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=272&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=272&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=272&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=342&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=342&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/35798/original/7wyh9rdk-1385036830.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=342&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Amount of contact non-resident fathers have with their children, by whether they provide money for child support.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Natcen</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>That said, there is a tendency to misreport on this issue. Resident parents often underestimate how much of a contribution the other parent makes, while non-resident parents overestimate levels of contact and child support.</p>
<p>The figures show that non-resident fathers are usually still very much a part of their children’s lives but that factors such as economic circumstances can have an impact on the extent of their contact. While the overall figures on contact are positive, more research is needed to unpick the reasons why some fathers are not in contact with their children and whether policy changes could be made to improve the situation. </p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/topics/hard-evidence">Hard Evidence</a> is a series of articles in which academics use research evidence to tackle the trickiest public policy questions.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/20006/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Eloise Poole receives funding from the ESRC under the Secondary Data Analysis Initiative.</span></em></p>Since the 1970s, family life in the UK has changed dramatically. Increases in relationship breakdown, remarriage and repartnering have seen us move away from the traditional, two-parent nuclear family…Eloise Poole, Senior Researcher, Children & Young People, National Centre for Social ResearchLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/90412013-03-06T19:42:13Z2013-03-06T19:42:13ZHey dad, your health affects your baby’s well-being too<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/20960/original/xcsnpzw9-1362455323.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A father's health prior to conception is just as important as the mother's and has a serious impact on their child's health.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">christyscherrer/flickr</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>As a society, we put a significant emphasis on women’s health both immediately prior to and during pregnancy – and rightly so. A woman needs to prepare her body for the arduous nine months of gestation ahead to give the growing baby the best possible start to life. </p>
<p>A pregnant woman is likely to take supplements and maintain a healthy diet free of alcohol and cigarettes while protecting herself from unnecessary environmental toxin exposure. In comparison, men’s health prior to conception is relatively insignificant right? Wrong!</p>
<h2>Enter father</h2>
<p><a href="http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0052304">Our research</a> shows that male diet prior to conception – particularly a fast-food-based diet – can be significantly detrimental to pregnancy success. Using an animal model of diet-induced obesity, we compared pregnancy outcomes when fathers were either normal weight or obese. </p>
<p>We found that rates of pregnancy were significantly lower when the father was obese because embryos generated with sperm from obese males weren’t very good and failed to implant into the mother’s uterus. </p>
<p>When obese fathers were able to achieve a pregnancy, the resulting foetus and placenta were both smaller than normal and the foetus was developmentally delayed. As the theory of the <a href="http://www.jacn.org/content/23/suppl_6/588S.full.pdf+html">developmental origins</a> of health and disease suggests, these small-for-gestational-age foetuses are at a higher risk of disease in later life, including cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=902&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=902&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=902&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1134&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1134&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20961/original/hvyh2zpz-1362455800.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1134&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A father’s poor diet prior to conception can be detrimental to pregnancy success.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Jason Pier in DC/flickr</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Indeed, our data indicate that being an obese male could significantly compromise the health of the resultant offspring. Initial studies in humans have also shown that the <a href="http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/22/6/1634.full.pdf+html">time taken to</a> become pregnant is significantly longer if the father is obese, and <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0015028210028463">IVF embryos</a> are of poorer quality. </p>
<p>This is of particular concern given the rising rates of <a href="http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs311/en/index.html">global obesity</a>.</p>
<h2>Smoking fathers</h2>
<p>And bad diet isn’t the only vice of modern man that can affect not only his fertility but also the health of his offspring. <a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by+Subject/4125.0%7EJan+2012%7EMain+Features%7ESmoking%7E3320">Almost 20%</a> of Australian adult males smoke despite its well-publicised health risks. Studies from <a href="http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/89/3/238.full.pdf+html">China</a>, <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22143821">Australia</a> and <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18618277">Europe</a> have identified an approximately 30% increase in the rate of childhood cancers when fathers smoke prior to conception. </p>
<p>In particular, the rate of leukaemia, lymphoma and brain tumours were up to 80% higher in children under the age of five when fathers had smoked prior to conception, even though mothers were non-smokers. And the rate of childhood cancer was highest when fathers smoked more cigarettes per day, had been smoking for a longer time, and started smoking before the age of 20. </p>
<p>What’s more, <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22903798">passive smoke exposure</a> of mothers around the time of conception – likely due to fathers’ smoking – is associated with a significantly higher incidence of serious congenital heart defects in infants.</p>
<h2>Alcohol harms</h2>
<p>The effect of <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9664637">fathers’ alcohol consumption</a> on offspring health is harder to define because of conflicting reports. It’s been suggested that a father’s alcohol consumption prior to conception results in a significant reduction in foetal birth weight, but this is yet to be conclusively proven and is subject to a number of confounding factors. </p>
<p>Animal models have shown <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9209556">fathers’ alcohol</a> consumption to be associated with increased malformations, growth retardation, and behavioural anomalies in offspring, although alcohol exposure in these cases is reasonably high. So any adverse effects of paternal preconception alcohol exposure may be more subtle than this.</p>
<h2>The dangers of work</h2>
<p>While the effects of paternal diet, smoking, and alcohol consumption on offspring health can be mitigated with appropriate lifestyle changes before starting a family, occupational toxin exposure is harder to avoid. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=913&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=913&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=913&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1147&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1147&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/20963/original/srkyt7sb-1362456255.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1147&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Offspring of fathers exposed to chemicals in the workplace have higher rates of birth defects.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Daniel Y Go/flickr</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>A recent study involving almost 10,000 children with birth defects was able to relate the <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22782864">rate of foetal malformation</a> to job types their fathers did. Overwhelmingly, fathers exposed to solvents and chemicals in the workplace, such as artists, cleaners, hairdressers, scientists, welders, metal and food processing workers have significantly higher rates of a variety of birth defects among their offspring. </p>
<p>And several paternal occupations such as office jobs and law enforcement were associated with significantly reduced rates of foetal birth defects. But avoiding occupational exposure to reproductive toxicants when planning to start a family is another question altogether. As a society, we really need to know what is bad for sperm.</p>
<h2>Passing it on</h2>
<p>Damage or changes to the male germ line, the sperm, is how paternal lifestyle and occupation end up having a detrimental effect on foetal development and offspring health. Sperm are <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18154591">particularly vulnerable</a> to oxidative stress, which can damage DNA. And both a high-fat diet and smoking have been associated with increasing levels of oxidative stress. </p>
<p>Fathers’ health prior to conception is clearly just as important as mothers’, and when thinking of starting a family both mum and dad need to be as healthy as possible.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/9041/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>David Gardner receives funding from the ARC and the NH&MRC.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Natalie Hannan has a post-doctoral training fellowship from the NHMRC. She is affiliated with the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at The University of Melbourne.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Natalie Binder does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>As a society, we put a significant emphasis on women’s health both immediately prior to and during pregnancy – and rightly so. A woman needs to prepare her body for the arduous nine months of gestation…David Gardner, Head of the Department of Zoology, The University of MelbourneNatalie Binder, PhD student, The University of MelbourneNatalie Hannan, NHMRC Early Career Research Fellow, The University of MelbourneLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/102622012-10-26T00:10:38Z2012-10-26T00:10:38ZDetecting the sea change in men’s feelings for their children<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/16835/original/9mym8bh8-1351036533.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">According to official figures, the time fathers spend with their children has been static since 1997.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">flip & serena/Flickr</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The success of <a href="http://channelnine.ninemsn.com.au/househusbands/">House Husbands</a>, the Australian drama featuring four hands-on dads may be a signal that today’s fathers really want more involvement in their children’s lives than did previous generations. </p>
<p>Pundits are hailing the arrival of a new model of Australian man, a blokey bloke who really wants to spend time with children. Perhaps the usual markers for change in parenting behaviour, like the number of minutes a dad spends with the kids, are missing something.</p>
<p>Because, according to the <a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by+Subject/4125.0%7EJan+2012%7EMain+Features%7ECaring+for+children%7E4120#ENDNOTES">“official” figures</a>, fathers’ time with children is static. In 1997, dads spent on average three hours and 55 minutes a day caring for children, and in 2006 they spent… three hours and 55 minutes. </p>
<p>Over the same period, mothers increased their time by 37 minutes to average eight hours and 33 minutes a day. Viewed through the gender-equity lens, blokes are going nowhere.</p>
<p>There’s certainly some interest in fathers. House Husbands became the <a href="http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/television/channel-9-drama-house-husbands-debuts-as-most-watched-tv-show-in-australia/story-e6frfmyi-1226463840316">most-watched Aussie drama</a> when 1.37 million people switched on to watch the first episode and more than a million stayed for the following weeks. This suggests that men “doing fathering” with their kids, often competently, is something worth watching.</p>
<p>Perhaps the shift being picked up by Channel Nine is how men feel about their kids.</p>
<p>The fathers in the antenatal classes I run were clear on this point. They didn’t know exactly what they were going to do after the birth but they were sure they wanted a close connection to their child. This wasn’t a sentiment isolated to dads who were professionals. One diesel mechanic told me that having a good connection would “drug-proof” his baby. If they connected early on, he said, then his child “would come and tell him stuff” as she grew older.</p>
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<p>Perhaps what dads do with their time is changing even if the total number of minutes stays the same. The <a href="http://www.growingupinaustralia.gov.au/">Growing Up In Australia</a> study tracked almost 5,000 children from their first year of life. Among fathers of two- to three-year-olds, 41% <a href="http://www.growingupinaustralia.gov.au/pubs/asr/2011/asr2011.pdf">reported</a> changing nappies or helping their children with the toilet every day, and around a third helped their children get ready for bed every day.</p>
<p>The trouble is, we don’t have a similar study from ten years ago for comparison. But even if we did, it would still only show what dads say they’re doing, not why. Dads’ thinking and feeling about being a father will not be picked up by asking “how many times do you do [insert activity with child]?”</p>
<p>There is one group with a vested interest in figuring out what men feel about being a dad. When marketers’ surveys and focus groups suggest that fathers are getting a greater sense of satisfaction from their children, they pounce on the new market.</p>
<p>Focus groups by <a href="http://www.lego.com/en-gb/default.aspx">Lego</a> UK found that fathers wanted a more hands-on relationship with their children than their own fathers but lacked opportunities to engage. Lego’s new campaign featured a father and son having fun building a Lego house together.</p>
<p>The ads didn’t feature any specific Lego set. Their intention was to show that what father and child built was not something that could be bought. As the Lego marketing manager told <a href="http://www.marketingweek.co.uk/trends/fathers-the-central-figure-in-family-brand-campaigns/4001480.article">MarketingWeek</a>, “It was much more of an emotional campaign rather than a specific product-driving campaign.”</p>
<p>Fathers’ tenderness is also starting to show up on our screens to help sell cars. <a href="http://www.brandingmagazine.com/2012/05/16/volkswagen-polo-dad-joins-the-successful-dad-ads/">Volkswagon’s new Polo ads</a> show a father’s gentle care for his daughter from birth to when he chokes back a tear as she drives off in her first car. The ad, which includes lyrics from the song “I’ll watch over you” scored 210,000 hits in just five days on YouTube.</p>
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<p>At the same time making fun of dads caring is becoming less acceptable. Earlier this year <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/columns-and-blogs/soapbox/article/52463-daddy-fic.html">Huggies withdrew an ad campaign</a> with the tagline, “Nominate a dad. Hand him some diapers & wipes, and watch the fun” in the face of widespread criticism that the ads promoted stereotypes of dads.</p>
<p>A recent Australian study of over 1,000 childless men and women for a company selling pregnancy test kits also underlined the change. It reported that men were just as likely as women (66% versus 67%) to desire children. One in four of the men said that seeing mums with babies made them want their own.</p>
<p>Perhaps we should pay more attention to advertisers when trying to decide what really drives a modern dad to cuddle up with his baby. Commercial surveys lack the objectivity of government statistics but they may be telling us something important about a shift in men’s values and emotions. </p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/10262/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Fletcher does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>The success of House Husbands, the Australian drama featuring four hands-on dads may be a signal that today’s fathers really want more involvement in their children’s lives than did previous generations…Richard Fletcher, Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Health , University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/63342012-04-15T20:42:31Z2012-04-15T20:42:31ZHelping mentally ill fathers for the sake of their children<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/9555/original/59zjrydx-1334281095.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Children of fathers who show signs of depression in the year after birth have more than three times the rate of behavioural problems by the time they reach school.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Mark Menzies</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The idea that mental illness can harm family relationships is not new. But it’s usually the mother’s parenting that has been the centre of attention. </p>
<p>So an article I co-wrote in today’s issue of the <a href="https://www.mja.com.au/">Medical Journal of Australia (MJA)</a> breaks new ground by highlighting how important having a mentally well father can be for a child’s development. The effect of growing up with a father who has serious mental illness makes sobering reading. </p>
<p>Toddlers born to fathers with schizophrenia die at more than twice the rate of those with non-schizophrenic fathers, even after allowing for mothers’ mental health status. And young children with fathers who were psychiatric in-patients are ten times more likely to die from homicide. These fathers’ adult children are also more than twice as likely to suicide compared with children of well fathers.</p>
<p>Milder forms of mental ill health among fathers also have serious effects. Children of fathers who show signs of depression in the year after birth have more than three times the rate of behavioural problems by the time they reach school, compared with children of fathers who are not depressed.</p>
<p>The clear implication of these figures is that when serious mental illness is detected in men, they should be asked about their children. Steps should then be taken to protect the family as part of treatment.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/9557/original/cjnhnrc3-1334282346.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">A mentally well father is vital for a child’s development.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Alankar Joshi</span></span>
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<p>But many men, even those with serious conditions, manage to provide loving care for their family.</p>
<h2>Better possibilities</h2>
<p>Our article includes the example of “Ian”, father of five in his mid-40s, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He found it difficult to cope when his children came home from school and demanded his attention. And his older children felt embarrassed by his unpredictable behaviour.</p>
<p>At the encouragement of his partner, Ian began seeing a health professional and joined a mental illness peer support group, which happened to have, by chance, other fathers. Seeing how other dads were coping in their role as father and having an opportunity to discuss everyday issues associated with parenting helped Ian feel more “normal” and encouraged him to talk to his children about his illness.</p>
<p>He also learnt to be more alert to the warning signs of his condition, and has become more positively involved with his children. “The kids trust me more and I’m getting closer to them. We do things together like fixing cars, going on family outings, and just doing life,” he told us.</p>
<p>Our work suggests we should be asking men about their responsibility for children when they seek help, even for physical symptoms. Helping men cope with the demands of fathering might be a key part of their treatment for mental illness.</p>
<p>Our article is published in a MJA special issue, which is part of a fatherhood project by <a href="http://www.copmi.net.au/">Children Of Parents with a Mental Illness (COPMI)</a>, non-profit organisation for families with parents with a mental illness.</p>
<p>COPMI’s fatherhood pack will be launched by Mark Butler, the minister for mental health and ageing, on April 20 and will be available on the COMPI <a href="http://www.copmi.net.au/">website</a>. </p>
<p>The fathers’ page should be compulsory viewing for all dads, not just those with a mental illness diagnosis. The children say very clearly that they love and want their fathers around even if he’s a long way short of perfect. </p>
<p>This is a great message for all us dads and should encourage those with mental illness to seek help.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/6334/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Fletcher is a father.</span></em></p>The idea that mental illness can harm family relationships is not new. But it’s usually the mother’s parenting that has been the centre of attention. So an article I co-wrote in today’s issue of the Medical…Richard Fletcher, Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Health , University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/45242011-12-05T19:36:04Z2011-12-05T19:36:04ZDo parenting programs work for dads?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/6100/original/6c13455c26ef35cc-1322794904.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Parenting programs need to actively include fathers. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Jason Coleman</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>It comes as no surprise to see that parenting programs attract mothers. Drop into a “toddler taming” discussion, a workshop on parents and literacy or a seminar about communicating with your teenager and you’ll see mums by the score. </p>
<p>What is surprising, given the demonstrated benefits to children of fathers’ involvement, is that no real effort is made to include fathers in parenting programs. It’s as if parenting programs belong in the 1950s where children are simply mums’ business. </p>
<p>When Kate Ellis announced a <a href="http://ministers.deewr.gov.au/ellis/more-australian-families-benefit-early-childhood-program">grant of $32.5 million to roll out a home visiting program</a> to improve interaction between parents and their children, the fact that 98% of participants were mothers wasn’t mentioned. When NSW Health <a href="http://www.acwa.asn.au/email/downloads96/TP_momentum.pdf">paid $5.2 million to have staff</a> trained to deliver the Triple P Positive Parenting Program, no one asked if they’d be trained to include fathers. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6097/original/4dfab205dba2fdfd-1322791157.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="attribution"><span class="source">chippenziedeutch</span></span>
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<p>As program managers rightly point out, dads aren’t banned from attending so there’s no outright discrimination. And many parenting programs do have some fathers enrol, although many drop out along the way. </p>
<p>So does the problem lie with the dads or the programs? </p>
<p>One way to answer this question is to see if existing programs improve fathers’ parenting. If the programs work for dads, then that’s a start and the problem may be in the marketing. </p>
<p>But here’s the rub – given only a handful of fathers attend, measuring any change in their parenting is impractical. And the wide variety of programs makes it hard to pin down exactly how many dads are attracted to which program. </p>
<p>The most likely place to find enough dads is in one of the mega-programs for parents that are repeated (franchised) across many locations. Queensland-based Triple P is a prime example. Its programs are offered in five levels of intensity and it operates in most Australian states and overseas. </p>
<p>Since dozens of studies on the effects of Triple P have now been completed, the results for mothers and fathers can be separated to measure the program’s effect. </p>
<p>Last week, the <a href="http://www.mensstudies.com/content/kg242423681v12t1/?p=019b26c1a1964350855b46a63dddee2e&pi=4">US-based Fathering journal</a> published an analysis using all the English language randomised controlled studies of Triple P published before June 2011. The study examined the number of fathers compared with mothers, how many fathers stayed the distance and what effect the program had on fathers’ and mothers’ parenting. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/6101/original/532a424832fa1d62-1322795049.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Maria Guimarães</span></span>
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<p>Not unexpectedly, the number of fathers attending was low. Out of the 4959 parents recruited into these studies, 983 (20%) were fathers. In one of the largest Australian studies, only 16 fathers were recruited compared with 1,610 mothers. And no, this wasn’t because all the participants were single mothers. </p>
<p>Determining how many fathers stayed until the end was difficult because so few studies evaluating Triple P kept track of fathers. Some studies managed to keep dads until the final session while others lost every dad. So getting an overall figure is just about impossible. </p>
<p>The effect of the program on mothers’ and fathers’ parenting was judged by their answers to questions measuring how lax, verbose or overreactive they were. Overall, the parenting of fathers did improve, although it was significantly less than that for mothers. </p>
<p>If fathers are to be included alongside mothers, and taking this report-card for Triple P as a guide, parenting programs need to make changes. </p>
<p>Clearly, the way that parenting programs are now marketed isn’t working. The fathering paper authors point to successful examples from other areas that could be applied to programs like Triple P. Program content and delivery (male facilitators?) also needs to reviewed and changed to better apply to dads’ parenting. </p>
<p>Finally, researchers should be steered to include fathers’ data in their parenting studies as a matter of course. Including fathers in the support that we give to parents is an obvious way to balance up the gender ledger in the child care area. </p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/4524/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Fletcher receives funding from gvernment and non-government organiozations. Richard Fletcher was lead author on the study The impact of behavioural parent training on fathers’ parenting: A meta-analysis of the Triple P-Positive Parenting Program. </span></em></p>It comes as no surprise to see that parenting programs attract mothers. Drop into a “toddler taming” discussion, a workshop on parents and literacy or a seminar about communicating with your teenager and…Richard Fletcher, Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Health , University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/42652011-11-15T19:52:33Z2011-11-15T19:52:33ZSins of the father: heavier dads mean overweight kids<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/5533/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Research has found having an overweight father quadruples the chances of kids being overweight.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Conor Ashleigh</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The increase in childhood obesity over the last few decades is frightening. Clearly fresh thinking is needed. New evidence of father’s impact on children’s weight gain may point us toward novel approaches that work for the family. They may even be fun. </p>
<p>Twenty years ago, men in the Hunter Valley Steelworks were the inspiration for a new approach to weight loss, one that targeted men. Based on conversations with these big-bellied blue collar workers, standard diet-based programs designed for women were completely revamped.</p>
<p>The first Gutbusters programs were born using men-talk and the logic of trade off (schooners for exercise) rather than diets and denial. </p>
<p>Now, men’s weight is again in the spotlight. But this time, it’s not the men but their children’s kilos that are the worry. </p>
<h2>Girth of fathers</h2>
<p>An <a href="http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/vaop/ncurrent/abs/ijo2011198a.html">analysis of over 3,000 two-parent Australian families</a> found that having an overweight father (but a normal weight mother) quadrupled the chances of children becoming overweight.</p>
<p>The reverse situation, an overweight mum but a normal-weight dad, didn’t significantly raise children’s risk of being overweight. The effect of an overweight father was the same for boys and girls. </p>
<p>The research, which was reported in the <a href="http://www.nature.com/ijo/index.html">International Journal of Obesity </a>last month, used a representative sample of families to measure children’s change of weight from around four to five years of age to when they were eight or nine. </p>
<p>The finding that fathers and not mothers are the key to children being overweight is surprising. After all, mothers are the main suppliers of nutrition for children. Surely dads making comments about “rabbit food” can’t have all that much influence. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/5534/original/Conor_Ashleigh___2010_web-98.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Conor Ashleigh</span></span>
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</figure>
<p>Even in terms of exercise, the other major lifestyle factor in obesity, mothers spend more time with their children and so have more chance to influence their play. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, because we’ve been so fixed on mothers’ influence on children’s growth, we have little data on how fathers model eating and exercise, limit or promote unhealthy foods and contribute to family exercise patterns. </p>
<p>There is, however, some good news on enlisting fathers to change their weight while being more active with their children. And interestingly, the success of the approach seems to take heed of the lessons from Gutbusters. </p>
<p>What’s more, it’s being developed in the same region.</p>
<h2>Helping out</h2>
<p>Overweight fathers and their primary school-aged children from the Hunter Valley have been attending a <a href="http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v35/n3/abs/ijo2010151a.html">Healthy Dads Healthy Kids</a> program where they not only learn about calories but practice fun-type physical games with their sons and daughters. </p>
<p>The <a href="http://healthydadshealthykids.com.au/">program</a> is taught by men using male-friendly language and an emphasis on fathers as role models – do it for your family.</p>
<p>For the children, the rough and tumble segments are the highlight. For the dads, seeing the energy and enjoyment of their children is a push to do more at home. </p>
<p>Results of the pilot trial were excellent – dads lost weight and the children became more active. The program is now being rolled out across the coal mining region of the Hunter Valley, an area with high rates of overweight men and children. </p>
<p>Overweight children and adults start their eating and exercise patterns early in life. The family, and on the evidence that we now have, the fathers, will be crucial if we are to reverse the childhood obesity epidemic.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/4265/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Fletcher receives funding from government and non-government organizations. He is a co-investigator on the Healthy Dads Healthy Kids research project and is a co-author of the Preventing and treating childhood obesity: time to target fathers paper. </span></em></p>The increase in childhood obesity over the last few decades is frightening. Clearly fresh thinking is needed. New evidence of father’s impact on children’s weight gain may point us toward novel approaches…Richard Fletcher, Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Health , University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/40992011-11-01T01:29:00Z2011-11-01T01:29:00ZThe mystery of stay-at-home dads<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/5061/original/52209064_4d0d7effff_z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Data on aspects of fathering, including the number of stay-at-home dads is patchy in Australia.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Paolo.Pace</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The picture of a dad with a toddler in his arms happily waving as mum heads off to work is attractive – it suggests a more equal, sharing and caring type of world. </p>
<p>But is this a reality of family life or simply media myth making? </p>
<p>Last week, the Guardian’s headline “<a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011/oct/25/stay-at-home-dads-fathers-childcarers">Stay-at-home dads on the up: one in seven fathers are main childcarers</a>” seemed to be announcing a major shift in gender roles. </p>
<p>The survey being quoted was from Aviva, one of the biggest insurers in the United Kingdom, which asked 2000 parents about child care.</p>
<p>Of the respondents, a quarter of the dads (26%) either gave up work or reduced working hours after the birth of children, and 44% said they regularly looked after children while their partner worked. </p>
<p>But the big news was how many dads were taking over from mums. </p>
<p>When asked “What is the gender of the person in your household who carries out the majority of childcare?” a whopping 14% pointed to the dad. That meant, Aviva figured, that 1.4 million men in the United Kingdom are now stay-at-home-dads. </p>
<p>New-age fathering and money were equal drivers of the change. </p>
<p>Almost half of stay-at-home-dads (43%) said they felt “lucky” to have the opportunity to spend more time with their kids, while 46% of families said their decision allowed the main income earner, the mother, to keep working. </p>
<p>Could these figures translate to Australian families? Possibly. </p>
<p>In 2010, adults who were not in the labour force were asked why they were not looking for work. Out of the 168,000 who gave their main reason as looking after children <a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/6220.0Sep%202010?OpenDocument">8,500 (5%) were men</a>.</p>
<p>If the pattern in Australia is similar to was recorded in Aviva’s UK survey and as many men again are the main caregiver because their wives are earning more, then Australia would have around 10% stay-at-home dads.</p>
<p>While this figure is below the United Kingdom (14%), it still shows a promising trend. </p>
<p>One in ten families where dad does the caring is hardly the 50-50 implied by “equal care”, but it still may reflect an important change. </p>
<p>The trouble is, relying on private businesses to measure change and media to interpret the figures leaves a lot of room for exaggeration. </p>
<p>Only last April the Guardian ran a very similar story, again quoting as fact, a survey from Aviva. </p>
<p>The headline last year was even more dramatic “<a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/apr/07/rise-stay-at-home-fathers-study">Tenfold rise in stay-at-home fathers in 10 years</a>”. </p>
<p>In that story, just 18 months ago, the number of stay-at-home dads was reported as 600,000 or 6% of the respondents. </p>
<p>After a tenfold rise in ten years, it seems that an extra 800,000 families switched roles in just 18 months, more than doubling the percentage of homes where dad does the most caring. </p>
<p>So perhaps there is a major change afoot. Certainly, the way parents arrange care of their children is an important social question. That is reason enough to ask for accurate and regular measures of parenting. </p>
<p>But in Australia, we are some way from having good data. We track mothers and mothering quite well but our <a href="http://www.newcastle.edu.au/research-centre/fac/resources/fathers/fatherhood-research-in-australia.html">data on fathers and fathering</a> is patchy. </p>
<p>This means judging change is still guesswork. </p>
<p>Our basic <a href="http://www.aihw.gov.au/publication-detail/?id=6442467499">record of births</a>, for example, lists the mother’s age, smoking status and Aboriginality but contains nothing about fathers. And our <a href="http://www.aifs.gov.au/growingup/studyqns/index.html">major national study of children</a> interviews mothers about every aspect of the child’s life but leaves forms on some topics for fathers to complete.</p>
<p>In the lead up to the introduction of paid paternity leave next year, getting the records straight on how many fathers and mothers there are, and then asking fathers as well as mothers who does what, will help us track important social changes in family life.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/4099/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Fletcher receives funding from government and non-government bodies. .</span></em></p>The picture of a dad with a toddler in his arms happily waving as mum heads off to work is attractive – it suggests a more equal, sharing and caring type of world. But is this a reality of family life…Richard Fletcher, Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Health , University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.