tag:theconversation.com,2011:/ca/topics/advice-34436/articlesAdvice – The Conversation2023-12-12T23:58:25Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2185082023-12-12T23:58:25Z2023-12-12T23:58:25ZProgram at Hamilton Public Library shows how libraries can expand the social services they provide<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565206/original/file-20231212-29-g6jmfe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C44%2C2500%2C1613&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A new program at the Hamilton Public Library is making on-site social workers available to the public.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Hamilton Public Library)</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/program-at-hamilton-public-library-shows-how-libraries-can-expand-the-social-services-they-provide" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>When we need help or advice, it’s not always clear where to go, what resources are available to us, or who to turn to when we need support. Public libraries are often easily accessible and free to the public. That means the <a href="https://thewalrus.ca/future-of-libraries/">local public library is often the first port of call</a> for people looking for help or advice.</p>
<p>This is changing how community members engage with their library and how staff engage with community members entering their doors. While libraries often act as an informational resource for folks looking to access community and social services, the public’s intensifying needs necessitate an expansion of the library’s role in our communities.</p>
<p>Staff at <a href="https://hpl.ca/">Hamilton Public Library</a>’s (HPL) 23 branches and two bookmobiles increasingly encounter people with a range of complex health and social issues in their library spaces. They include individuals with housing and food insecurity, newcomers to Canada, those dealing with mental-health challenges, substance use and addiction, and individuals who struggle with technology, face language barriers, and income pressures, among other challenges. </p>
<p>Given these growing and varied needs, having social workers in libraries is vital. Library staff often do not have the knowledge or expertise to effectively offer crisis and mental-health support people need. </p>
<h2>What’s happening at Hamilton Public Library</h2>
<p>In November 2022, HPL responded to this challenge. In partnership with Hamilton Public Health Services’ <a href="https://www.hamilton.ca/people-programs/public-health/mental-health-services/mental-health-street-outreach-program">Mental Health and Street Outreach Program</a>, HPL developed a program to provide <a href="https://www.thespec.com/news/hamilton-region/hamilton-public-library-to-hire-a-social-worker-at-its-downtown-branch/article_ec6348b6-22bb-5b31-8911-a98ab38bf12b.html">on-site social work services</a> at its downtown central library, with two part-time social workers being present, visible and accessible on the first floor. </p>
<p>In partnership with Hamilton Public Health Services, HPL staff and social workers working at HPL voiced a need to document and study their social work program. the aim is to identify short- and long-term outcomes, engage with different library members to explore how the social work program is understood and to make these findings available to other public libraries who may be considering their own social work program. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A man gives advice to a woman in a library." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564559/original/file-20231208-23-8jod9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">The public library is increasingly the first place people go when they need support or advice.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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</figure>
<p>With colleagues, I partnered with HPL and Hamilton Public Health Services to take a deeper look at the program from multiple stakeholders’ perspectives. Over the next year, interviews with different community stakeholders (library members, library workers, and social workers) will help make visible how these different stakeholders understand and use social work activities and services at HPL. </p>
<p>Social workers working in public libraries is a recent but growing partnership practice across North America. <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/library-social-worker-helps-homeless-seeking-quiet-refuge">The first social worker in a public library</a> was in San Francisco in 2009. <a href="https://publiclibrariesonline.org/2019/01/providing-social-service-resources-in-a-library-setting/#.XDtQqGtmscY.wordpress">In that case</a>, library members experiencing homelessness were accessing the library to seek refuge and meet their basic needs.</p>
<p>Since this first program, there have been many variations of social services offered in public libraries across North America. Taken together, this is signalling a shift in how we think about and use public libraries — from book repositories to community anchors and social infrastructures. </p>
<h2>Expanding the library’s role</h2>
<p>Social workers in libraries take on multiple roles, including helping people access resources, offering supportive listening and brief counselling and providing training to library staff on how best to deal with crises when they arise.</p>
<p>Social workers also support access to services like housing, harm reduction, employment counselling and food security, and they provide crisis intervention and the de-escalation of disruptive behaviours on-site. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="The glass entrance of a library building." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564562/original/file-20231208-27-wxkgs2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">More public libraries are hiring in-house social workers to provide the kinds of help and advice members of the public are searching for.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Library social workers aim to remove systemic barriers to make their services more accessible. They can do this by offering preventative support in their role as community collaborators and advocates, and by helping people access services that offer longer-term solutions to their problems. </p>
<p>Social workers in the library are also crucial; they are trained and able to support trauma, mental-health issues, challenges and complex needs in a way that meets the person where they are at emotionally, physically and/or cognitively.</p>
<p>Ultimately, this project at HPL will help ensure the social work program meets its intended outcomes and will inform decision-making about the program’s future design and sustainability. This work is especially important as HPL is piloting a <a href="https://www.thespec.com/news/hamilton-region/library-expands-use-of-social-workers-to-barton-branch/article_47e845d3-9267-5e45-a0e2-ca09c18333ee.html">second social work program at its Barton branch</a>.</p>
<p><em>Sarah Gauthier, a Manager of Central Information Services with HPL, and Kianosh Keyvani, a Clinical Resource Co-ordinator with the City of Hamilton’s Mental Health and Street Outreach Program, co-authored this article.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218508/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nicole Dalmer receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Bridget Marsdin and Leora Sas van der Linden do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>The public’s intensifying needs necessitate an expansion of the library’s role in our communities.Nicole Dalmer, Assistant Professor in the Department of Health, Aging and Society, McMaster UniversityBridget Marsdin, PhD student, School of Social Work, McMaster UniversityLeora Sas van der Linden, Program Manager, Community Research Platform, McMaster UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2182942023-12-08T16:14:45Z2023-12-08T16:14:45ZHow to protect yourself from cyber-scammers over the festive period<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562490/original/file-20231129-26-z85wnz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C6134%2C3228&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">As online shopping increases over the festive period, so does the risk of cyber-scams. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/merry-xmas-eve-online-shopping-store-2089436578">Chay Tee/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The festive season is a time for joy, family and festive cheer. However, it’s also a prime target for cybercriminals. As online shopping ramps up, so does the risk of falling prey to cyber-attacks. That’s why it’s crucial to be extra vigilant about your <a href="https://blog.tctg.co.uk/12-cyber-security-tips-of-christmas">cybersecurity</a> during this time. </p>
<p>Here are some essential tips to safeguard yourself and your data during the festive period:</p>
<h2>Phishing</h2>
<p>Phishing is when criminals use scam emails, text messages or phone calls to trick their victims. Their <a href="https://www.ncsc.gov.uk/collection/phishing-scams">goal</a> is often to make you visit a certain website, which may download a virus on to your computer, or steal bank details or other personal data. </p>
<p>This type of scam tends to <a href="https://www.egress.com/blog/phishing/holiday-phishing-scam-guide">increase</a> at this time due to the amount of people having bought or received new gadgets and technology. </p>
<p>Look out for there being no direct reference to your name in any communications, with wording such as “Dear Sir/Madam” or other terms such as “valued customer” being used instead. Grammar and spelling mistakes are also often present. </p>
<p>Be wary of any suspicious links or attachments within emails too, and don’t click them. It’s better to contact the company directly to check if the message is genuine. You can also <a href="https://www.ncsc.gov.uk/collection/phishing-scams">report</a> suspicious messages and phishing scams to the government’s National Cyber Security Centre. </p>
<h2>Shopping safely online</h2>
<p>The convenience of online shopping is undeniable, especially during the festive season. However, it’s crucial to prioritise your security when buying online. </p>
<p>Before entering your personal and financial information on any website, ensure it’s legitimate and secure. Look for the “https” in the address bar and a <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-vast-majority-of-us-have-no-idea-what-the-padlock-icon-on-our-internet-browser-is-and-its-putting-us-at-risk-216581">padlock</a> icon, which indicates a secure and encrypted connection. </p>
<p>When creating passwords for online shopping accounts, use strong, unique combinations of letters, numbers and symbols. Avoid using the same password for multiple accounts, as a breach on one site could compromise all your others.</p>
<p>As with shopping in the real world, be cautious when encountering offers that are significantly below usual prices or which make extravagant promises. Always conduct thorough research on the seller and product before making a purchase. If a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is. </p>
<p>And if you are out shopping in towns or city centres, there will often be a large number of public wifi options available to you. However, criminals can intercept the data that is transferred across such open and unsecured wifi. So, avoid using public wifi where possible, especially when conducting any financial transactions. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A person sits at a laptop with a coffee surrounded by festive packages." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562672/original/file-20231130-21-u6r9en.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Stay vigilant, exercise caution and don’t let your excitement for gifts and deliveries compromise your cybersecurity.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/christmas-online-shopping-top-view-female-520279837">Prostock-studio/Shutterstock</a></span>
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</figure>
<h2>Social media</h2>
<p>While social media platforms provide people with a means to keep in touch with family and friends over the festive period, they are often a goldmine for <a href="https://www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/how-to-spot-a-social-media-scam-aMtwF3u1XKGt">scams</a> and malware (software designed to disrupt, damage or gain unauthorised access to a computer). In the spirit of the festive season, people often share an abundance of personal information on social media, often without considering the potential consequences. </p>
<p>This trove of data can make people vulnerable to cyber-attacks. Scammers can exploit this information to gain unauthorised access to social media accounts, steal personal information, or even commit identity theft. To protect yourself, be mindful of what you share. </p>
<p>Be wary when interacting with posts and direct messages, especially if they contain suspicious links or attachments. Before clicking on anything, hover over the link to verify its destination. If it shows a website you don’t recognise or seems unrelated to the message, do not click on it. If you receive a message from someone you know but the content seems strange or out of character, contact them directly through a trusted channel to verify its authenticity. </p>
<p>Likewise, be wary of messages containing urgent requests for money or personal information from businesses. Genuine organisations will never solicit sensitive details through social media.</p>
<p>There are many buy and sell platforms available on social media. But while such platforms can be a great place to find a unique gift, it is also important to remember that not all sellers may be legitimate. So, it’s vital that you don’t share your bank details. If the seller sends a link to purchase the item, do not use it. When meeting to collect an item, it’s generally safer to use cash rather than transferring funds electronically.</p>
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<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aO858HyFbKI?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Advice for staying safe online.</span></figcaption>
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<h2>Package delivery scams</h2>
<p>As well as being a time for giving and receiving gifts, the festive season is also ripe for cybercriminals to exploit the excitement surrounding <a href="https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/about-us1/media/press-releases/scams-linked-to-parcel-deliveries-come-top-in-2023/">package deliveries</a>. </p>
<p>Scammers often pose as legitimate delivery companies, sending emails or text messages claiming that a delivery attempt was unsuccessful or requiring additional fees for processing, or even customs clearance. Typically, these messages contain links or phone numbers that, when clicked or called, lead to fake websites or automated phone systems designed to collect personal information or payments.</p>
<p>To protect yourself, always verify the legitimacy of any delivery notifications you receive. Check the sender’s email address or phone number against the official contact information for the delivery company. If the information doesn’t match or seems suspicious, don’t click any links or provide personal details. </p>
<p>Legitimate delivery companies will never ask for upfront payment or sensitive information through unsolicited messages or calls. </p>
<p>Remember, cybercriminals are skilled at manipulating the festive spirit to their advantage. Stay vigilant, exercise caution, and don’t let your excitement for gifts and deliveries compromise your cybersecurity.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218294/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rachael Medhurst does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Cyber-scams tend to ramp up at this time of year, with criminals and scammers eager to exploit people’s generosity and excitement.Rachael Medhurst, Course Leader and Senior Lecturer in Cyber Security NCSA, University of South WalesLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2034662023-04-27T12:31:45Z2023-04-27T12:31:45ZWhy Kurt Vonnegut’s advice to college graduates still matters today<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/522654/original/file-20230424-2206-l2hfz2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=17%2C23%2C3631%2C2469&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A generation told not to trust anyone over 30 nevertheless adored Vonnegut.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/american-author-kurt-vonnegut-poses-while-at-home-on-the-news-photo/81810832?adppopup=true">Ulf Andersen/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Kurt Vonnegut didn’t deliver the famous “Wear Sunscreen” graduation speech published in the <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/chi-schmich-sunscreen-column-column.html">Chicago Tribune</a> that was often mistakenly attributed to the celebrated author. But he could have. </p>
<p>Over his lifetime, he gave dozens of quirky commencement addresses. In those speeches, he made some preposterous claims. But they made people laugh and made them think. They were speeches the graduates remembered. </p>
<p>Having studied and <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Critical_Companion_to_Kurt_Vonnegut.html?id=G9l0LaJlcZkC">written about</a> Vonnegut for years, I wish he had been my commencement speaker. I graduated from Austin College, a small school in North Texas. I don’t even remember who gave my class’s graduation speech, much less a single word the speaker said. I suspect many others have had – and will have – similar experiences.</p>
<p>Young people, college students especially, loved Vonnegut. During the early and mid-1960s, he commanded an avid and devoted following on campuses before he had produced any bestsellers. Why was a middle-aged writer born in 1922 adored by a counterculture <a href="https://www.freedomarchives.org/Documents/Finder/FreedomArchives.DontTrustAnyoneOver30.article.pdf">told not to trust anyone over 30</a>? Why did he continue to appeal to younger generations until his death? </p>
<h2>Their parents’ generation</h2>
<p>Vonnegut, who died just before commencement season in 2007, was nearly 50 years old when his groundbreaking anti-war novel, “<a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/184345/slaughterhouse-five-by-kurt-vonnegut/">Slaughterhouse-Five</a>,” was published in 1969.</p>
<p>A cultural touchstone, the novel changed the way Americans think and write about war. It helped usher in <a href="https://bpb-us-w2.wpmucdn.com/blogs.cofc.edu/dist/8/830/files/2017/02/Vonnegut-and-Postmodernism-15f9fyz.pdf">the postmodern style of literature</a> with its playful, fragmented form, its insistence that reality is not objective and that history is not monolithic, and its self-reflection on its own status as art. Like Andy Warhol’s soup cans, “Slaughterhouse-Five,” with its jokes, drawings, risqué limericks and flying saucers, <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/kurt-vonnegut-and-the-american-novel-9781441130341/">blurs the line between high and low culture</a>.</p>
<p>Cited as one of the top novels of the 20th century, “Slaughterhouse-Five” has been transformed into film, theatrical plays, <a href="https://www.openculture.com/2020/02/the-graphic-novel-adaptation-of-kurt-vonneguts-slaughterhouse-five.html">a graphic novel</a> and visual art. It has inspired rock bands and musical interpretations. Vonnegut’s recurring refrain, “So it goes,” used 106 times in the novel, has entered the popular lexicon. The book has been <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/08/the-neverending-campaign-to-ban-slaughterhouse-five/243525/">banned, burned and censored</a>.</p>
<p>In many ways, though, Vonnegut had more in common with the parents of the college students he addressed than with the students themselves. Father to six children – three of his own and three nephews who joined the family after his sister Alice and her husband died – Vonnegut had studied biochemistry at Cornell and had worked in corporate public relations. He continued to believe all his life in the civic virtues he learned as a student at Shortridge High School in Indianapolis. </p>
<p>He had the credibility of a World War II veteran, a member of what journalist Tom Brokaw would later call the “<a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/18729/the-greatest-generation-by-tom-brokaw/">Greatest Generation</a>.” Captured by the Germans during the Battle of the Bulge, <a href="https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/kurt-vonnegut-slaughterhouse-five">he was sent to Dresden as a prisoner of war</a>. There he was starved, beaten and put to work as a slave laborer. He survived the Allied firebombing of the city in February 1945 and was forced to help excavate hundreds of bodies of men, women and children who had been burned alive, suffocated and crushed to death.</p>
<h2>Fool or philosopher?</h2>
<p>If Vonnegut was, like the students’ fathers, a family man and a veteran, perhaps he also embodied the dad that students in 1969 dreamed their own fathers could be: funny, artistic, anti-establishment and anti-war.</p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="Man in striped suit holding cigarette." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=769&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=769&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=769&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=966&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=966&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/523036/original/file-20230426-402-ciipbs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=966&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Kurt Vonnegut at Bennington College in 1970.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://crossettlibrary.dspacedirect.org/bitstream/handle/11209/16874/1970June19Kurt_Vonnegut1.jpg?sequence=1&isAllowed=y">Bennington College Archive</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
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<p>Vonnegut had the look – sad, kind eyes under that mop of uncontrollable hair, the full droopy mustache. <a href="https://crossettlibrary.dspacedirect.org/bitstream/handle/11209/16874/1970June19Kurt_Vonnegut1.jpg?sequence=1&isAllowed=y">A photo taken</a> just before he delivered a commencement address at Bennington College in 1970 shows him wearing a loud striped jacket, reading glasses tucked neatly in its pocket, with a cigarette dangling at his fingertips.</p>
<p>Looking like a cross between Albert Einstein and a carnival huckster, Vonnegut had his contradictions on full display. </p>
<p>Was he a clown or a wise man? A fool or a philosopher?</p>
<p>The literary establishment did not quite know what to make of Vonnegut, either. A writer frequently dismissed by critics for his flying saucers and space aliens, for the simplicity of his prose, for pandering to what <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1976/10/03/archives/slapstick-slapstick.html">one reviewer called</a> the “minimally intelligent young,” <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1969/03/31/books/vonnegut-slaughterhouse.html">he was also praised</a> for his inventiveness, for his lively and playful language, for the depth of feeling behind the zaniness, and for advocating decency and kindness in a chaotic world. </p>
<h2>A forceful defense of art</h2>
<p>As the U.S. was fighting what most college students believed was an unjust and imperialist war in Vietnam, Vonnegut’s message struck home. He used his own experience in World War II to destroy any notion of a good war. </p>
<p>“For all the sublimity of the cause for which we fought, we surely created a Belsen of our own,” <a href="https://www.npr.org/2008/06/03/89276309/excerpt-armageddon-in-retrospect">he lamented</a>, referencing the Nazi concentration camp.</p>
<p>The military-industrial complex, <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/184353/wampeters-foma-and-granfalloons-by-kurt-vonnegut/">he told the graduates at Bennington</a>, treats people and their children and their cities like garbage. Instead, Americans should spend money on hospitals and housing and schools and Ferris wheels rather than on war machinery.</p>
<p>In the same speech, Vonnegut playfully urged young people to defy their professors and fancy educations by clinging to superstition and untruth, especially what he considered the most ridiculous lie of all – “that humanity is at the center of the universe, the fulfiller or the frustrater of the grandest dreams of God Almighty.” </p>
<p>Vonnegut conceded that the military was probably right about the “contemptibility of man in the vastness of the universe.” Still, he denied that contemptibility and begged students to deny it as well by creating art. Art puts human beings at the center of the universe, whether they belong there or not, allowing people to imagine and create a saner, kinder, more just world than the one we really live in.</p>
<p>The generations, <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/240511/if-this-isnt-nice-what-is-even-more-expanded-third-edition-by-kurt-vonnegut-edited-and-introduced-by-dan-wakefield/">he told students at the State University of New York at Fredonia</a>, are not that far apart and do not want that much from each other. Older people want credit for having survived so long – and often imaginatively – under difficult conditions. Younger people want to be acknowledged and respected. He urged each group not to be so “intolerably stingy” about giving the other credit.</p>
<p>A strain of sorrow and pessimism underlies all of Vonnegut’s fiction, as well as his graduation speeches. He witnessed the worst that human beings could do to one another, and he made no secret about his fears for the future of a planet suffering from environmental degradation and a widening divide between the rich and the poor. </p>
<p>If Vonnegut were alive and giving commencement speeches today, he would be speaking to college students whose parents and even grandparents he may have addressed in the past. Today’s graduates have lived through <a href="https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2021/one-year-pandemic-stress-youth">the COVID-19 pandemic</a> and are drowning in social media. They face <a href="https://www.marketplace.org/2022/08/17/money-and-millennials-the-cost-of-living-in-2022-vs-1972/">high housing costs and financial instability</a> and are more <a href="https://www.voanews.com/a/student-union_gen-z-studies-show-higher-rates-depression/6174520.html">depressed</a> and <a href="https://www.ualberta.ca/folio/2020/01/millennials-and-gen-z-are-more-anxious-than-previous-generations-heres-why.html">anxious</a> than previous generations.</p>
<p>I’m sure he would give these students the advice he gave so often over the years: to focus, in the midst of chaos, on what makes life worth living, to recognize the joyful moments – maybe by listening to music or drinking a glass of lemonade in the shade – and saying out loud, <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/240511/if-this-isnt-nice-what-is-even-more-expanded-third-edition-by-kurt-vonnegut-edited-and-introduced-by-dan-wakefield/">as his Uncle Alex taught him</a>, “If this isn’t nice, what is?”</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Kurt Vonnegut delivers a lecture at Case Western University in 2004, three years before his death.</span></figcaption>
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Susan Farrell is a founding member of the Kurt Vonnegut Society, which works to promote the scholarly study of Kurt Vonnegut, his life, and works.</span></em></p>A strain of sorrow and pessimism underlies all of Vonnegut’s fiction, as well as his graduation speeches. But he also insisted that young people cherish those fleeting moments of joy.Susan Farrell, Professor of English, College of CharlestonLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1976382023-02-28T13:10:58Z2023-02-28T13:10:58Z‘Do the little things’: why St David’s advice is good for your mental health<p><em>Gwnewch y pethau bychain</em> or “do the little things” is a saying attributed to <a href="https://theconversation.com/st-davids-day-how-the-sixth-century-monk-inspired-centuries-of-devoted-followers-and-poets-198924">St David</a>, the patron saint of Wales. But what relevance does the advice of a sixth century monk hold in 2023? </p>
<p>In modern times, doing the little things certainly is important when we consider our mental health. It can make a difference in preventing ill health and sustaining a <a href="https://theconversation.com/ive-spent-years-studying-happiness-heres-what-actually-makes-for-a-happier-life-197580">sense of happiness</a>, as well as in treating mental illness. </p>
<p>A small thing may not have a decisive effect alone, but when many are put together, they can make an overall difference. Avoiding daily alcohol is an example. Having a drink may make you feel relaxed but, over time, regular alcohol will drag down your mood. </p>
<p>Excessive <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/gps.1357">gambling</a> and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09595230600944461">recreational drugs</a> are also to be avoided. In contrast, regular exercise and making time for relaxation have a positive effect on our mental health. </p>
<p>Doing the small things has a role to play in treating mental illness too. Medication and therapies such as <a href="https://theconversation.com/cbt-is-wrong-in-how-it-understands-mental-illness-175943">cognitive behavioural therapy</a> have roles to play in helping people to recover from mental illness. However, they are not so effective that they are always enough on their own. They are likely to work best when they happen in the context of a trusting relationship with a doctor.</p>
<p>When patients are surveyed about what they value in a doctor, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9823053/">human qualities consistently outrank technical abilities</a>. Research supports the idea that <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/327575093_Trust_and_Communication_in_a_Doctor-_Patient_Relationship_A_Literature_Review">relationship factors</a> are important in medicine. This applies across the whole of health care, to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27503082/">medication</a> and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30265840/">physiotherapy</a> as much as it does to psychotherapy. </p>
<p>Human interaction may seem a small thing but it can make a difference to how well a treatment works. Placebo effects are powerful and they are not just due to fooling yourself that dummy tablets work. The effects of a placebo can be due to all of the helpful aspects of a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17401033/">therapeutic relationship</a>.</p>
<h2>Suicide</h2>
<p>Suicide is a devastating event, which, in the setting of the UK, is often related to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0004867414555419">mental illness</a>. However, while it is important to treat people with mental illness to avoid preventable deaths, there are limitations to how effective this can be in reducing the total number of suicides. </p>
<p>Sadly, mental health treatment does not always stop people from taking their own lives. In any case, many suicidal deaths occur without the person ever receiving help. And a proportion of people who take their own life are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032719306202?via%3Dihub">not mentally ill</a> at all. </p>
<p>Nonetheless, suicide prevention is possible. Actions such as making it harder for people to access the means of taking their own life have repeatedly been shown to <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(12)60521-2/fulltext">reduce suicides</a>. When restrictions were introduced to the number of paracetamol tablets that could be purchased, there was a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23393081/">measurable impact on deaths</a>. </p>
<p>Changes in the rate of unemployment, especially among men, have a <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(14)00118-7/fulltext">predictable effect on suicide rates</a>. When unemployment rises, there is an increase in suicides. When times are better and fewer people are living in poverty, suicide rates drop. </p>
<p>It is not necessary to completely remove access to paracetamol, nor does unemployment have to be abolished. By putting together packages of smaller measures, each of which is known to have a definite but limited effect, major improvements can be achieved. Lives can be saved without seeking one perfect but unrealistic solution.</p>
<h2>Breakthroughs</h2>
<p>Having worked in mental health for 42 years, I have seen the announcement of many breakthroughs in treatment. New medications, genetic advances and novel approaches like <a href="https://theconversation.com/treating-mental-illness-with-electricity-marries-old-ideas-with-modern-tech-and-understanding-of-the-brain-podcast-195071">transcranial magnetic stimulation</a> have all been subject to extravagant claims. None of them has delivered the promised transformation of mental health care. </p>
<p>Approaches that have definite usefulness have been hyped to the point where they crowd out other treatments. That leads to cynicism when they turn out to have limitations. The most recent example is mindfulness. It has a definite role, but <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5353526/">it is not for everyone, nor is it for every problem</a>.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-problem-with-mindfulness-115648">The problem with mindfulness</a>
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<p>The trouble with looking too hard for the one extraordinary breakthrough is that it takes attention away from properly implementing what we already know works. Those imperfect smaller approaches that have been shown to be beneficial, which, when taken together, can transform people’s lives. </p>
<p>Many of these lie outside the domain of psychiatrists or psychologists. They involve social contact, a meaningful role, places to go and things to do, where people with mental illnesses are not stigmatised or separated from everybody else. </p>
<p>The ordinary actions in life matter. So let’s heed the advice of St David and “do the little things”.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/197638/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rob Poole is a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists Wales. He receives funding from UKRI, Health Care and Research Wales and Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board. He is a member of the Labour Party </span></em></p>Doing the little things has a role to play in maintaining our sense of happiness as well as in treating mental illness.Rob Poole, Professor of Social Psychiatry, Bangor UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1844232022-08-16T12:29:28Z2022-08-16T12:29:28ZFrom watering via ice cubes to spritzing with hydrogen peroxide – 4 misguided plant health trends on social media<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/470313/original/file-20220622-25-3avjqj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C11%2C7377%2C4885&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The internet has become a new player in plant care advice.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/two-female-friends-watching-online-gardening-royalty-free-image/1295397619">Kanawa_Studio/iStock via Getty Images Plus</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The internet is full of advice on just about everything, including plant care.</p>
<p>As the <a href="https://plant.lab.uconn.edu/">director of a plant diagnostic laboratory</a> and expert on plant medicine, I help people manage their plants’ health. Here are four trends I’ve seen online recently that have stood out as being especially misleading or potentially damaging to plants. </p>
<h2>Watering orchids and other plants with ice cubes</h2>
<p>Multiple sites claim ice cubes can be used to give orchids a “just right” amount of water. The fact is tropical plants hate cold temperatures. Leaving <a href="http://www.ladybug.uconn.edu/FactSheets/house-plants---growing-.php">ice near an orchid’s roots may damage them</a>.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Orchids on ice?</span></figcaption>
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<p>Nearly all houseplants, including orchids, will prefer lukewarm or room temperature water, about 70 degrees Fahrenheit (21 degrees Celsius). Use fact sheets from educational institutions and reputable organizations to determine the correct amount of water and watering schedule for the types of plants you’re growing, and then set a reminder on your phone. </p>
<p>Use a potting medium that drains well and quickly. For orchids, <a href="https://www.aos.org/orchids/orchid-care/what-is-the-best-potting-media.aspx">a mix of bark chips and sphagnum moss is much better</a> than 100% soil or coco coir. </p>
<h2>‘No Mow May’</h2>
<p>Many campaigns have sprung up recently promoting “<a href="https://beecityusa.org/no-mow-may/">No Mow May</a>.” The idea is to delay regular mowing for the month of May to provide more feeding sites for pollinators, which are trying to shore up calories after their winter hibernation.</p>
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<p>Unfortunately, this practice usually does not benefit pollinators and could damage your lawn’s health. Here’s why:</p>
<p>Mowing more than 30% of a grass leaf at once is never a good idea. Grasses depend on their blades to photosynthesize and meet their energy needs. When more than 30% is lost at once, the plants may not have enough remaining leaf surface area to photosynthesize properly.</p>
<p>Overgrown lawns have overgrown root systems, which require more energy. Failure to provide it leads to <a href="https://hgic.clemson.edu/mowing-height-matters/">increased susceptibility to disease</a>, poor water management and potential collapse. Such damage is pretty much unavoidable after a monthlong “no mow” period. </p>
<p>Few lawns actually contain enough flowers to be beneficial to pollinators, anyway. For many people, the “perfect lawn” is an unwavering green carpet. But that uniformity is useless to bees and other pollinators that require <a href="https://www.epa.gov/pollinator-protection/what-you-can-do-protect-honey-bees-and-other-pollinators">pollen and nectar that other plants can provide</a>. </p>
<p>It’s great to <a href="https://www.epa.gov/pollinator-protection/what-you-can-do-protect-honey-bees-and-other-pollinators">prioritize pollinator health</a>, but the “no mow” trend is best implemented in prairie, field and wetland environments, where there is a lot of plant diversity and flowering plants. </p>
<p>If you’re looking to support pollinator health in your own yard, <a href="https://www.nwf.org/NativePlantFinder">plant native wildflowers</a> that pollinators will actually want to visit. Most require less water and management compared to grass lawns. Replace your entire lawn or even a small strip. Any amount of lawn replaced is beneficial – and will save you water and money. </p>
<p>Make sure not to mow the wildflowers until they’ve finished flowering. A wildflower patch usually only needs to be cut once or twice a year. Mowing after the last frost in early spring will spread the previous year’s seeds and <a href="https://extension.psu.edu/planting-pollinator-friendly-gardens">provide a home for insects to spend the winter</a>. </p>
<h2>Using hydrogen peroxide to ‘cure’ plant diseases</h2>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"917613551988097024"}"></div></p>
<p>Hydrogen peroxide <a href="https://pubchem.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/compound/Hydrogen-peroxide">does sterilize surfaces and can reduce bacteria and some fungi</a>. But the rapid reaction that gives hydrogen peroxide its sterilizing properties occurs almost immediately after coming in contact with other compounds. This does not permit hydrogen peroxide to move throughout a plant.</p>
<p>So most pathogens – the organisms that cause disease – will not be affected if they are in a plant’s tissues rather than on its exterior. Applying hydrogen peroxide excessively or improperly may even <a href="https://pubchem.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/compound/Hydrogen-peroxide">make plant health issues worse</a> by drying surfaces and killing beneficial microbes. </p>
<p>While there is certainly a time and place for sterilizing surfaces in plant care – like with your pruners and propagation tools – the best defense against plant diseases is proper care. </p>
<p>Water your plants only when necessary and provide proper light and nutrition. Research what your plant likes best from educational institutions or other reputable sources. Routine pruning to increase airflow, proper plant spacing, avoiding single-crop planting and crop rotation are just some examples of chemical-free techniques to <a href="https://ipm.cahnr.uconn.edu/">reduce plant stress and decrease disease susceptibility</a>.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A woman holds up her cell phone to photograph the roots of a plant." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/470069/original/file-20220621-15-io6uku.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Virtual diagnosis?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/woman-holding-and-taking-photo-of-potato-crop-royalty-free-image/1322163523">Sanja Radin/E+ via Getty Images</a></span>
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<h2>Diagnosing diseases using phone apps</h2>
<p>Many apps exist that use photographs submitted by the user to identify plant diseases and offer solutions. </p>
<p>The truth is, to diagnose most plant diseases, a scientist needs to culture plant tissue to correctly identify pathogens. Only after an accurate diagnosis <a href="https://apsjournals.apsnet.org/journal/pdis">can they recommend management solutions</a>. I have a pretty strong opinion here, since disease identification is what I do every day. Plant symptoms that accompany one disease may be practically identical to those of another. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Photos of four different plants with curled leaves labeled herbicide exposure, virus, insect feeding and fungal infection." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/472617/original/file-20220705-4524-eyxbyp.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The same symptom can be caused by very different problems.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Bugwood.org</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span>
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<p>For example, herbicide exposure, viruses, insect feeding and fungal infections can all cause twisted and deformed leaves. To properly diagnose an issue, the plant’s own history, location, site history, time of year and other factors need to be considered before I can take a guess as to what may be contributing to symptoms. </p>
<p>Don’t rely on an app to guess at what disease your plant may have – and don’t act on bogus recommendations. Instead, reach out to your local university diagnostic lab or extension office for support. </p>
<p>Not sure where to go? Start with the <a href="https://www.npdn.org/lab_directory">National Plant Diagnostic Network’s lab directory</a>. Many, including mine, offer free consultations and recommendations. If you end up submitting a sample to a diagnostic lab, most are affordable – my lab’s fee is US$20 – and will be worthwhile, especially when you consider the cost of replacing the plant with something that could eventually have the same issue.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/184423/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nick Goltz (UConn Plant Diagnostic Laboratory) receives funding from the USDA-NIFA and the state of Connecticut. </span></em></p>Plant care advice abounds on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube – but not all of it is good. A plant expert debunks four common recommendations.Nick Goltz, Assistant Extension Educator and Director, UConn Plant Diagnostic Laboratory, University of ConnecticutLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1833062022-06-16T12:25:06Z2022-06-16T12:25:06ZBabies don’t come with instruction manuals, so here are 5 tips for picking a parenting book<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469087/original/file-20220615-18-6vr9hj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=199%2C253%2C4762%2C3152&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Evidence-based and easy to read are two important criteria.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/father-reading-with-sleeping-baby-son-royalty-free-image/601800815">JGI/Tom Grill/Tetra images via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Babies don’t come with instruction manuals. Children are at once joyful, sad, confusing, predictable, generous, selfish, gentle and mean. What’s a parent to do when faced with such perplexing offspring? Given the complex interactions of parent, child and surroundings, parents often feel lost. Many may seek answers in parenting books.</p>
<p><a href="https://askwonder.com/research/avg-amount-millennial-parents-spend-parenting-books-apps-field-great-break-down-xjjsxbcdl">Parenting books are big business</a>, and there are tens of thousands of titles for sale. The big question, though, is: Do parenting books help?</p>
<p>How effective they are is a matter of debate, especially given the lack of scientific evidence regarding their usefulness. Limited research has found that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-006-9041-2">problem-focused self-help books may be helpful</a> to readers – think tips about time management or healthy eating. And studies find that using books independently to improve well-being – what psychologists call bibliotherapy – is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2021.103543">somewhat effective for addressing stress</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.2147/NDT.S152747">anxiety and depression</a>.</p>
<p>So it makes sense that reading a parenting book could be useful. In terms of quality and usefulness, however, they exist on a continuum.</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=20slzkIAAAAJ&hl=en">We’re scholars</a> <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=f2RwlNoAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">of human development</a>, have taught thousands of students about parenting and write about family, parenting and development through the lifespan. One of us (Bethany) is the mother of six little ones, while the other of us (Denise) has two adult children, one of whom is Bethany. We believe that parents can become <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/45398785">critical thinkers and choose the books</a> that will be most appropriate for them. Here are five questions to think about when you’re looking for the best parenting book for you.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="woman in bookstore with toddler in baby carrier" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">With so many books to choose from, put in some effort to find a good fit.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/young-asian-mother-reading-books-to-lovely-little-royalty-free-image/1147930346">d3sign/Moment via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>1. Who wrote it and why?</h2>
<p>A good parent doesn’t need a Ph.D.; neither does an author. However, an advanced degree in an area related to parenting helps in understanding and interpreting relevant research.</p>
<p>Another consideration is the experience of the author. Having one or a dozen children does not make someone an expert. Doing more parenting doesn’t necessarily make you better at it. Not having a child doesn’t disqualify someone from being an expert, either, but should be thoughtfully considered. We taught parenting classes before having children, and it’s fair to say that our own parenting experiences have added depth, insight and even grace to what we teach.</p>
<p>The reason someone wrote a parenting book can also be informative. Advice from authors who write out of angst about their own upbringing or who failed at parenting should be taken with a grain of salt. </p>
<p>Finally, don’t let celebrities’ books fool you. Most of these are written by <a href="https://professionalghost.com/blog/how-common-are-ghostwriters/">ghostwriters</a> and are primarily designed to sell books or build a brand.</p>
<h2>2. Is it based on science?</h2>
<p>Psychology researcher and <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ten-Basic-Principles-of-Good-Parenting/Laurence-Steinberg/9780743251167">parenting expert Laurence Steinberg</a> writes that scientists have studied parenting for over 75 years, and findings related to effective parenting are among the most consistent and longstanding in social science. If you notice inconsistencies between parenting books, it’s because “<a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ten-Basic-Principles-of-Good-Parenting/Laurence-Steinberg/9780743251167">few popular books are grounded in well-documented science</a>.”</p>
<p>How can you tell if a book is grounded in science? Look for citations, names of researchers, sources and an index. Also, learn the basic principles of effective parenting determined through decades of research and <a href="https://www.newswise.com/articles/ten-basic-principles-of-good-parenting-science-of-raising-children">outlined by Steinberg</a>. They include: set rules, be consistent, be loving, treat children with respect, and avoid harsh discipline.</p>
<p>If the book you’re considering is not consistent with these guidelines, rethink its parenting advice. Likely it’s based not on science but opinion or personal belief. Opinion and belief have a place, but science is better in this space.</p>
<h2>3. Is it interesting to read?</h2>
<p>If the book is not interesting, you are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10862969009547717">unlikely to finish it, much less learn from it</a>. Before taking a book home, read the first page and flip to a page in the middle to see if it grabs your attention. Try to find books that you can read in small bites, skip around in, and return to in the future.</p>
<p>Avoid books that contain “psychobabble,” pseudoscientific jargon that has an air of authenticity but lacks clarity. For example, the publisher’s description of the book “<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/603436.Indigo_Children">The Indigo Children: The New Kids have Arrived</a>” reads, “The Indigo Child is a child who displays a new and unusual set of psychological attributes that reveal a pattern of behavior generally undocumented before. This pattern has common yet unique factors that demand that parents and teachers change their treatment and upbringing of them in order to achieve balance. To ignore these new patterns is to potentially create great frustration in the minds of these precious new lives.” Pass.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="two men sit on bed with baby with a tall bookshelf against the wall" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Even a shelf full of books can’t cover your family’s exact – and always changing – circumstances.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/fathers-starting-the-day-with-newborn-royalty-free-image/1160661769">Willie B. Thomas/DigitalVision via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>4. Is it realistic?</h2>
<p>Run, don’t walk, from any book that tells you its method always works or any failure is because of you – or worse yet, ignores failure. </p>
<p>It’s impossible to provide advice for every single parent, child and situation! An effective parenting book appreciates context and complexity and informs the reader that not all answers are in the book. No parent is perfect, but <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721413504106">recognizing weaknesses and failures leads to growth and improvement</a>, and no child is completely malleable. Even parents who do everything right may have children who become wayward.</p>
<p>Make sure the book provides you with detailed <a href="https://doi.org/10.1126/science.abj9957">instructions and things to do</a>, as well as ways to track improvements. In other words, make sure it is actionable.</p>
<p>Finally, a parenting book should respect a parent’s instincts. </p>
<h2>5. Does it motivate and inspire hope?</h2>
<p>Some parenting books offer insights related to general behavior, like “<a href="https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684033881/raising-good-humans/">Raising Good Humans</a>.” Others offer insights for specific issues, like “<a href="https://www.platypusmedia.com/product-page/safe-infant-sleep-expert-answers-to-your-cosleeping-questions">Safe Infant Sleep: Expert Answers to Your Cosleeping Questions</a>.” Likely, you will be more motivated to read a book that reflects your specific needs and values and leaves you feeling hopeful.</p>
<p>A word of caution, however. One study found that parenting books that stress strict routines for infant sleep, feeding and general care might actually make parents <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2017.1378650">feel worse by increasing depression, stress and doubt</a>. Parenting research does not support overly strict routines, and it’s easy to understand why most of these parents did not find such books useful.</p>
<h2>Remember to trust yourself</h2>
<p>When you read a parenting book, the goal is to feel empowered, more confident, excited and even relieved. You are not alone, nor are you the only parent with questions.</p>
<p>Psychologist <a href="https://psychology.jrank.org/pages/659/Edward-F-Zigler.html">Edward Zigler</a> described parenting as “the <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/handbook-of-parenting-volume-3-status-and-social-conditions-of-parenting/oclc/967239514&referer=brief_results">most challenging and most complex</a> of all the tasks of adulthood.”</p>
<p>Yes, parenting can be tough. In your parenting adventures, you’ll likely need all the resources and tools you can muster. With thoughtful and critical explorations, you can find books that enhance your personal wisdom and intuition to help in raising these delightfully complicated little humans.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/183306/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Being a parent can be tricky, and many turn to parenting guides for help in figuring out what to do. Two human development scholars have tips for picking a book that will be useful for you.Denise Bodman, Principal Lecturer in Social and Family Dynamics, Arizona State UniversityBethany Bustamante Van Vleet, Principal Lecturer in Family and Human Development, Arizona State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1550302021-03-12T13:44:36Z2021-03-12T13:44:36ZA concept from physics called negentropy could help your life run smoother<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388890/original/file-20210310-23-5bnjml.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=117%2C84%2C5405%2C3295&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Entropy is the process of losing energy and this can apply to physics and social systems alike. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/individuals-coming-together-to-unite-in-harmony-royalty-free-image/474961071?adppopup=true"> JamesBrey/iStock via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Life is full of small decisions: Should I pick up that sock on the floor? Should I do the dishes before bed? What about fixing the leaky faucet in the bathroom? </p>
<p>Leaving a sock on the ground is a manifestation of a concept from physics you may have heard of: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entropy">entropy</a>. Entropy is a measure of how much energy is lost in a system. If a system loses too much energy, it will disintegrate into chaos. It takes only a little bit of energy to pick up one sock. But if you don’t take care of your yard, let pipes stay clogged and never fix electrical problems, it all adds up to a chaotic home that would take a lot of energy to fix. And that chaos will leach away your <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/1842000/company-chaos-you-dont-know-youre-creating">time and ability to accomplish other things</a>.</p>
<p>The good news is that entropy has an opposite – <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negentropy">negentropy</a>. As a <a href="https://udayton.edu/directory/education/deans_office/carr-chellman_alison.php">researcher who studies social systems</a>, I have found that thinking in terms of negentropy and energy can help you fight against entropy and chaos in daily life.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A room with clothes on the floor and piled high on the bed." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/389134/original/file-20210311-17-dho2oe.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Small bits of entropy can pile up into big problems that take a lot of energy to fix.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/messy-bedroom-with-clothes-and-possessions-thrown-royalty-free-image/897030874?adppopup=true">Carlos Ciudad Photography/Moment via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Minimize energy loss, maximize progress</h2>
<p>In both physics and social systems, energy can be defined as the capacity or ability to do work. For more than two decades, I have studied social systems in schools, community dialogues, universities, corporations and nonprofit organizations. During that time I’ve observed that energy losses are a constant – for example, meetings of four people to plan meetings for seven people, or everyone’s worst nightmare, meetings that could have been accomplished through email. These small frustrations can even build to a point where <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/220048419_Dynamic_Systems_in_Human_Resource_Management_Chaos_Theory_Employee_Turnover">good employees start quitting</a>.</p>
<p>After thinking about energy for so long, I began to wonder – as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Fifth-Discipline-Practice-Learning-Organization/dp/0385517254">others</a> <a href="https://margaretwheatley.com/books-products/books/leadership-new-science/">have</a> – whether applying physics concepts to social systems could help them run better. </p>
<p>Over the past four years, my colleagues and I developed a theory of negentropy and, using interviews and case studies, have studied how energy is <a href="https://www.profoundliving.live/why-picking-up-your-socks-isnt-enough-or-how-negentropy-could-save-the-university">lost or gained in many types of systems</a> – including in <a href="https://www.academia.edu/36783647/The_Negentropic_University">higher education</a>, <a href="https://web.b.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=00349461&AN=138635682&h=vhDUW3VBg%2fzG4HqjKy0oUtlt7BS0ueCezkrAoMB5t8GG1ZJEcV0Auij03UKTMVSkYV7z6N%2fwu4ZTcR%2b2qC2Xqg%3d%3d&crl=f&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d00349461%26AN%3d138635682">leadership for online education</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11528-019-00448-5">workplace organizations</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3168360.3152716">online learning settings</a>. </p>
<p>Our work suggests that when people keep the idea of negentropy in mind and take actions that limit or reverse energy loss, social systems are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11528-019-00448-5">more efficient and effective</a>. This might even make it <a href="https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins">easier for people to achieve larger goals</a>. In other words, yes, you should pick up that sock, and yes, you should improve your meetings, and doing so may allow you to see other ways to avoid future energy losses.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A thermal image of a house showing hotspots of heat leaking out of windows." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=378&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=378&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=378&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=475&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=475&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388894/original/file-20210310-24-2gi2ml.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=475&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Energy loss in your daily life is just like heat leaking out of a badly sealed house.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Search&search=thermal+imaging+house+filetype%3Abitmap&fulltext=1&ns0=1&ns6=1&ns12=1&ns14=1&ns100=1&ns106=1&searchToken=em0ofwo8vgt5lny9jgyuokpwg#%2Fmedia%2FFile%3APassivhaus_thermogram_gedaemmt_ungedaemmt.png">Passivhaus Institut</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>5 steps for negentropic success</h2>
<p>From my colleagues’ and my research into negentropy, we have come up with five steps to reverse energy loss in in daily life. </p>
<p>1: Find the entropy.</p>
<p>Identify places where energy is lost in the social systems in your daily life. It’s helpful to think of it like a thermal map of the outside of your house that highlights where heat – or energy – is lost. A badly sealed window leaks heat energy. A poorly organized kitchen makes things hard to find. A badly designed new employee onboarding system can lead to serious legal problems later.</p>
<p>2: Prioritize the losses.</p>
<p>Identify the largest or most annoying losses and those that draw your attention most often. For example, perhaps that leaky kitchen faucet drives you crazy. Fixing it might make room in your mind to consider other improvements to your kitchen that would make it more functional. </p>
<p>3: Come up with a plan.</p>
<p>Identify actions that will reverse the energy losses you noted and plan ways to address the highest priorities first. You could start by fixing the leaky faucet or picking up your socks; if pre-pre-planning meetings are causing your organization a lot of trouble, analyze the problem and figure out how to fix it. </p>
<p>4: Try it out and pay attention.</p>
<p>Put the ideas into action, but stay focused on energy gains and losses. As you try to implement negentropic ideas, keep track of what works, how much effort it took and ideas you come up with for future negentropic actions.</p>
<p>5: Go beyond fixing and maintenance.</p>
<p>As you work to reverse energy losses, you may find that at times you are actually maintaining a social system that isn’t beneficial no matter how smoothly it works. Spending time improving an orientation to introduce new workers to a company culture may not be very useful if the culture itself needs to change. The best way to apply the idea of negentropy to social systems is to not only improve the small processes, but also look at the big picture and see if the status quo itself promotes energy loss.</p>
<p>Seeing things through a negentropic lens won’t solve a bad relationship or help you love a job you hate – those are complicated issues. However, if you begin to notice where energy is lost in your life, it will be easier to prioritize and act in ways that can improve the social systems around you.</p>
<p>[<em>Deep knowledge, daily.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/the-daily-3?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=deepknowledge">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/155030/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Alison Carr-Chellman does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>In physics, entropy is the process of a system losing energy and dissolving into chaos. This applies to social systems in everyday life, too. Limiting energy loss can make social systems run better.Alison Carr-Chellman, Dean, School of Education and Health Sciences, University of DaytonLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1478112020-11-05T14:12:50Z2020-11-05T14:12:50ZHow to handle the next lockdown and Christmas – some tips for recently separated parents<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367699/original/file-20201105-21-3k8skf.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C1877%2C1252&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-in-red-and-black-dress-standing-in-front-of-christmas-tree-inside-room-701020/">Pexels</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The impact of lockdown has made many of us reflect on what’s important in our lives and in our personal relationships. For some, this has led to <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/property/uk/property-hotspots-booming-covid-completely-changed-buyers-want/">swapping life in the city</a> for more space in the countryside. For others, lockdown restrictions have meant moving in together more quickly than might have been the case in ordinary circumstances. </p>
<p>For some couples, however, without the distraction of outside influences, there has been the dawning realisation they no longer want to remain together. This has led to increased numbers seeking legal advice about divorce – with family lawyers predicting a “<a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-54117821">post-lockdown divorce boom</a>”.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/why-we-need-french-style-divorce-for-lockdown-break-ups-138195">Why we need French-style divorce for lockdown break-ups</a>
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<p>For separating parents, a major question is how to maintain relationships and support children’s well-being during and after separation. My <a href="https://policy.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/childhood-experiences-of-separation-and-divorce">research</a> in this area has found that children can come to view their parent’s separation positively, but that this very much depends on how parents handle and talk about the relationship breakup.</p>
<h2>What helps</h2>
<p>An assumption commonly made by parents is that their child is unaware of the situation because they have not spoken about it. But it’s surprising what young children overhear and the scenarios they create in their own minds</p>
<p>My research involved talking to young adults whose parents separated or divorced in childhood about their experiences. And their views provide valuable insights into how children experience and accommodate their parents’ separation.</p>
<p>I found that children come to view their parents’ separation positively when it brings parental conflict to an end. Good communication among all members of the family about what’s happening and the changes taking place, enables children to develop an understanding of the situation. This helps to <a href="https://policy.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/asset/7308/kay-flowers-appendix-six-in-colour.pdf">support their adjustment over time</a> . </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Grandmother and granddaughter having a conversation while baking." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367701/original/file-20201105-23-86c4ms.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">All family members can help children to understand their parents’ separation.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/pensive-grandmother-with-granddaughter-having-interesting-conversation-while-cooking-together-in-light-modern-kitchen-3768146/">Pexels</a></span>
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<p>Being able to maintain contact with both parents is very important for children. So having some form of contact arrangements in place as soon as possible (even if it needs refinement over time) will help to support children. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/chi.702">Grandparents</a> and other family members also provide an important role where children may feel unable to speak to their parents about the situation for fear of upsetting them. </p>
<p>Friendship groups are also important. Being able to maintain friendships by continuing to attend the same school and remaining in the local area is valued by children. </p>
<h2>Plan now for Christmas</h2>
<p>For separated parents, Christmas often prompts difficult discussions about where their child spends their time. And for those who have separated recently, it’s likely to be particularly challenging this year.</p>
<p>In normal times, where practical, many children will spend some time with each parent over the festive period, resulting in them having “two Christmasses”. This is often seen as a positive by children, but in the current circumstances this might not be an option. </p>
<p>It’s impossible to predict what restrictions may be in place by Christmas but it may be that family celebrations <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-54592112">need to take a different form</a> this year. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Cheerful mother playing with and hugging her children on the bed." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367702/original/file-20201105-18-u03krq.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Divorce doesn’t have to mean unhappiness for children.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/cheerful-mother-with-kids-playing-on-bed-4473879/">Pexels.</a></span>
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<p>At the start of the first lockdown in March, <a href="https://www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/">guidance</a> was issued about children being able to move between their parent’s homes – such decisions need to take account of the child’s present health, the risk of infection and vulnerable people in one household or another. And this remains in place as we enter the <a href="https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-8901/">second lockdown</a> </p>
<p><a href="http://www.transformingsociety.co.uk/2020/09/29/children-of-separated-parents-the-impact-of-the-covid-19-pandemic/">Alternative arrangements</a> might need to be put in place such as using Zoom, FaceTime, Whatsapp, Skype or the phone for celebrations. This will mean parents need to set aside their differences and focus on their children’s needs, to reach such arrangements. </p>
<p>This is particularly important given the disruption, fear and anxiety many children have faced during this pandemic. Using technology to stay connected and keep some of the family traditions alive requires a level of creativity. But this can be done – think <a href="https://hes32-ctp.trendmicro.com/wis/clicktime/v1/query?url=https%3a%2f%2fwww.nspcc.org.uk%2fkeeping%2dchildren%2dsafe%2fsupport%2dfor%2dparents%2fseparation%2dand%2ddivorce%2f&umid=ae05c133-ffaf-4868-bb6c-eb025097b381&auth=768f192bba830b801fed4f40fb360f4d1374fa7c-22e511f9d187c2c5eead3ff5ebf6c7abcca0ec69">film nights, reading stories each day</a>, making Christmas cards or decorations (receiving craft items through the post is a welcome surprise for children), sharing recipes and food-tasting sessions, at home carol singing and taking time to develop new festive traditions. </p>
<h2>Communication is key</h2>
<p>Research shows that divorce doesn’t have to mean an unhappy childhood. Ultimately, if a child sees their parents communicate effectively, is able to meet up with both parents with ease and feels decisions are made that take their views into account, they feel they “matter” <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0907568211421220">to their parents</a>. They are reassured and have an <a href="https://doi.org/10.2989/17280583.2017.1345746">increased sense of security</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Child and mother decorate Christmas tree." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/367706/original/file-20201105-13-o1fnaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Keeping family traditions alive will help children feel happy this Christmas.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/mixed-race-mother-daughter-decorating-christmas-345499916">Shutterstock/Maksym Gorpenyuk</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>Of course, in the immediate aftermath of separation, it takes a while for arrangements to be put in place and for parents and children to adjust to the changed situation. But over time, where these factors are in place, children are likely to accommodate their parents’ separation well. </p>
<p>This year the question facing everyone is what small things can be put in place to ensure that Christmas remains a special and joyous occasion for children. Being creative about how we stay connected is likely to be the answer.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/147811/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Susan Kay-Flowers does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>As research shows, divorce doesn’t have to mean an unhappy childhood.Susan Kay-Flowers, Senior Lecturer in Education and Childhood Studies, Liverpool John Moores UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/927502018-03-14T14:32:54Z2018-03-14T14:32:54ZWhy universities need to invest in strong advice systems for students<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/209505/original/file-20180308-30965-1sds1h3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Proper guidance, support and advice can help university students enormously.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>It is relatively rare for a young person to leave school knowing on their own exactly what they want to do next. And, even if they do, it’s unusual to seamlessly and independently go to university, complete the degree of their choosing, graduate, and move into the working world.</p>
<p>For most young people the world beyond school is complicated. They need a great deal of support – particularly from their families and universities – to navigate their higher education choices. This is borne out by <a href="http://www.africanminds.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/9781928331698_web.pdf">a recent study</a> which tracked the experiences of 73 students who, some six years before, had started bachelor’s studies at one of three research-intensive South African universities.</p>
<p>The study focused on how young people navigate the opportunities and constraints of university study. One of the key findings was that the country’s universities seem mostly to have limited capacity for giving students advice about academic choices. In some other parts of the world, most notably the US, <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-za/Academic+Advising:+A+Comprehensive+Handbook,+2nd+Edition-p-9780470371701">this is a whole field of expertise within a university</a>, with dedicated staff focused solely on giving students advice.</p>
<p>There is substantial literature showing the <a href="https://works.bepress.com/samuel_museus/12/">positive effects of academic advising</a> on student retention and progress, especially for those from underrepresented groups in higher education.</p>
<p>As we <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-class-and-social-capital-affect-university-students-92602">point out elsewhere</a> in the book on which this research is based, many of the students we interviewed didn’t have the support structures at home that could offer informed advice about issues such as the choice of institution, degree, funding routes. Proper advisory systems in universities can be especially helpful in this context. </p>
<p>It’s not easy. South Africa’s universities are dealing with a <a href="https://www.iol.co.za/saturday-star/dispelling-myths-around-higher-education-funding-12947553">huge resource crunch</a> and it takes money to set up many of the systems that would be needed. </p>
<p>But it’s a worthwhile investment. Universities that can formalise academic advising and make it more accessible are likely to see better results in students progressing from enrolment to graduation. </p>
<h2>Some interventions</h2>
<p>While few universities appear to have formal, full-time advising structures, there are one-off or informal interventions at some South African institutions.</p>
<p>At one institution for example, there were sample introductory lectures at the start of the year. Students found this very helpful though they pointed out that attending just one lecture wasn’t necessarily enough to make a fully informed decision about whether to pursue that course or degree path.</p>
<p>Some universities also allowed students to change courses within the first few weeks of the academic year. But this can be tricky because students then need to make up what they’ve missed.</p>
<p>Some students spoke of establishing a rapport with individual lecturers and even their deans. This meant they could discuss their plans and choices with someone who was well informed. But this was relatively rare at the larger universities and was left largely to chance – requiring both students with confidence and initiative, and supportive, engaged academics</p>
<p>It also wasn’t always a successful approach: in our study we did hear of situations where the advice students received from academics was incorrect or even insulting. One student who was struggling in a science degree, for example, was told that she was a “pretty girl” and maybe she should change to a degree in education.</p>
<h2>Flexibility</h2>
<p>Some work is being done in South Africa to improve the situation. The National Student Financial Aid System is <a href="http://www.nsfas.org.za/content/publications/FINAL%20-%20A%20NSFAS%20Response%20to%20the%20MTT%20Missing%20Middle%20Report%2031%20January%202017.pdf">looking at models</a> for more broader support for the students it funds. This is good news, since these students are often those whose families may not have the social capital and information to support their decisions. </p>
<p>Another thing that universities should consider is a more flexible curriculum structure. Our research also found that where the curriculum is fairly fixed and university rules preclude much movement between programmes, there is little opportunity for navigating a successful pathway. This is a problem for students who only become aware of their skills and passions along the way and wish to change their degree course. A flexible curriculum coupled with strong advice structures could make a real difference to such students.</p>
<p>_This is an edited abstract from “Going to University: The influence of Higher Education on the lives of young South Africans” (2018) Case, J., Marshall, D., McKenna, S. & Mogashana, D. African Minds. Available for <a href="http://www.africanminds.co.za/dd-product/going-to-university-the-influence-of-higher-education-on-the-lives-of-young-south-africans/">download here</a>. </p>
<p><em>The other authors of the book from which this piece is extracted are Professor Sioux McKenna (Head of Postgraduate Studies, Rhodes University), Professor Delia Marshall (Faculty of Natural Science at the University of the Western Cape) and Dr Disaapele Mogashana (student success coach and consultant at <a href="http://www.mytsi.co.za/">True Success Institute</a>).</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/92750/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors of the book 'Going to University: The influence of higher education on the lives of young South Africans' are grateful for the financial support of the NRF.</span></em></p>Formal, accessible academic advice systems can help university graduation rates.Jennifer M. Case, Department Head and Professor, Department of Engineering Education, Virginia TechLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/820562017-10-02T18:59:31Z2017-10-02T18:59:31ZHow to talk to your kids about opioids<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/185891/original/file-20170913-20276-vsvhw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Talk it out.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/mature-mother-consoles-daughter-home-352494392">Iakov Filimonov/shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>By now, most people are aware of the enormity of the opioid epidemic. In 2015, over 33,000 Americans died from an <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/65/wr/mm655051e1.htm">opioid overdose</a> – more from opioid pain relievers <a href="https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/trends-statistics/overdose-death-rates">than heroin</a>. </p>
<p>Just because someone experiments with opioids doesn’t mean that he or she will become addicted. However, there’s risk with any opioid use, even when it’s medically warranted. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency classifies opioids as a <a href="https://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/21cfr/cfr/1308/1308_12.htm">Schedule II drug</a>, a substance with medically accepted use but a high potential for abuse. </p>
<p>Many parents and guardians don’t think their child is at risk for misusing opioids. While that may be true, consider this: In 2013, <a href="http://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2015.11.005">one in eight U.S. high school seniors</a> reported using opioids for nonmedical reasons. In 2015, 122,000 teens under 17 and 427,000 adolescents between 18 and 25 had a <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/NSDUH-FFR1-2015/NSDUH-FFR1-2015/NSDUH-FFR1-2015.pdf">pain reliever use disorder</a>, meaning that they had a problem with the drug.</p>
<p>I’ve studied substance use prevention for 15 years, including time in rehabilitation centers with teenagers addicted to heroin, so I understand how critical it is to prevent opioid use at a young age. Fortunately, there’s a lot of research on this topic, as well as numerous resources to help parents figure out where to start. </p>
<h1>What parents need to know</h1>
<p>First, parents should educate themselves about opioids: what they are, how they work in the brain and body, risk factors for using them and how to spot signs of use. </p>
<p>Parents shouldn’t convey misinformation about opioids to their children. If their children find out that what they’ve been told isn’t accurate, they may turn instead to their peers for information.</p>
<p>There are excellent online resources available for parents and their children, such as the <a href="https://teens.drugabuse.gov/drug-facts/prescription-pain-medications-opioids">National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teens</a> website and the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids’ <a href="https://drugfree.org/drug-guide/?drug_type=13204">Parent Drug Guide</a>. </p>
<p>It’s particularly important to note the long-term effects that nonmedical use of opioids can have on adolescents. <a href="http://doi.org/10.3238/arztebl.2013.0425">Around puberty</a>, the brain starts a massive restructuring process. Neural connections get stronger and stronger, helping adolescents go from the emotional decision-making of youth to rational decision-making in early adulthood. This process continues until the mid- to late 20’s. </p>
<p>During this time, what adolescents do can get <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inspire-rewire/201402/pruning-myelination-and-the-remodeling-adolescent-brain">“hard-wired”</a> into the brain. So, for example, if a young person is engaged in academics, sports or learning a musical instrument, those connections get set in the brain. If they spend a lot of time using drugs, those could be the connections that stick. That means they’d have an increased chance of developing a substance use disorder later in life. </p>
<p>In adolescence, many people learn important life skills, including how to cope with adversity. However, long-term drug use that starts during adolescence can affect <a href="https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/drugs-brain">our memory and learning</a>. Because drugs, particularly opioids, help alleviate both physical and emotional pain, adolescents may then continually turn to this drug as a way to cope, rather than using more adaptive coping skills that are usually learned during this time.</p>
<h1>Starting the conversation</h1>
<p>One of the most important tools that parents have is the ability to talk to their child about substance use. While talking about drugs with young people isn’t always comfortable, research has shown that <a href="http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED521530.pdf">it’s critical for prevention</a>. </p>
<p>Chances are good that even young teenagers will have heard about opioids and overdose deaths at some point. Pretending that opioid use is not a problem – or thinking that a child is a “good kid” and therefore doesn’t need to hear and talk about it – is a mistake. Being a “good kid” does not mean that an adolescent will not be curious or be tempted by peers. </p>
<p>Starting the conversation can be difficult. I advise parents to keep an eye out for a time when the topic can naturally come up. For example, if a celebrity is found to be using opioids or other drugs, or if the problem comes up in the child’s school or neighborhood, or even on the child’s social media account, this could provide the opening for a discussion. </p>
<p>Parents could ask their children if they have heard about opioids and, if so, what they know. That could be a good starting point and an opportunity to do the research together.</p>
<p>There are also helpful online resources that provide tips and advice on how to have these types of conversations, such as the <a href="http://medicineabuseproject.org/assets/documents/Parent_talk_kit_2014_.pdf">Parent Talk Kit</a>, which provides advice on what to say in specific scenarios with kids of different ages. For example, the beginning of high school is an incredibly important time for parents to bring up how some teens use opioids and to let their child know that, if she ever makes a mistake or gets stuck in a bad situation, she should come and talk to them. </p>
<p>These conversations aren’t a one-shot deal. They should happen often, ideally repeating parents’ expectations and adding new information when relevant.</p>
<h1>Other tips</h1>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/185509/original/file-20170911-1336-2gazf4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Parents should properly and safely secure their prescription medication.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/several-containers-over-counter-prescription-medications-181476449?src=zKSqe6sGqtrVwGapuyneVA-1-0">David Smart/shutterstock.com</a></span>
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<p>Parents should make an effort to get to know their children’s friends. Having friends who use drugs is <a href="http://www.purdue.edu/newsroom/releases/2014/Q3/study-peers,-but-not-peer-pressure,-key-to-prescription-drug-misuse-among-young-adults.html">very strongly associated</a> with adolescents’ own drug use. </p>
<p>Additionally, children are <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306460315000234">less likely to use prescription drugs</a> if their parents monitor where they are when they’re not at home. </p>
<p>About two-thirds of teenagers who use prescription drugs for nonmedical reasons report getting the drugs <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/homelessness-programs-resources/hpr-resources/teen-prescription-drug-misuse-abuse">from friends or family members</a>, including taking them from medicine cabinets without people knowing. So, parents should <a href="http://www.lockyourmeds.org">properly and safely secure their prescription medication</a>, especially opioids. </p>
<p>Finally, if parents suspect that their child is using or has a problem with opioids, it’s imperative to get help as soon as possible. The best outcomes often come from <a href="http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Raise-a-Drug-Free-Kid/Joseph-A-Califano/9781476728438/browse_inside">intervening early</a>.</p>
<p>For more information, the Partnership for Drug Free Kids has a <a href="https://drugfree.org/landing-page/get-help-support/how-do-i-help-my-child/">resource hotline</a> with advice on how to confront children about suspected drug use, as well as <a href="https://drugfree.org/download/treatment-ebook/">additional resources</a> to help parents navigate getting children help with a substance use disorder.</p>
<p>The good news is that <a href="http://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-2387">nonmedical opioid use among adolescents is on the decline</a>. However, it’s still a significant problem that needs attention. Parents have the power to help – and talking to their children is an important first step. </p>
<p><em>This story was published in collaboration with PBS NewsHour.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/82056/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Margie Skeer received funding from the National Institute on Drug Abuse. </span></em></p>While talking about drugs with young people isn’t always comfortable, research has shown that it’s critical for prevention.Margie Skeer, Associate Professor of Public Health and Community Medicine; Interim Director of the Health Communication Program, Tufts UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/734192017-04-04T00:44:13Z2017-04-04T00:44:13ZCan better advice keep you safer online?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/163331/original/image-20170330-4557-40z4g9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Who's giving you advice?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/women-said-woman-listening-gossip-44414353">Advice via shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Many Americans are <a href="http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/05/20/americans-attitudes-about-privacy-security-and-surveillance/">worried about their online privacy and security</a>. And rightly so: <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.13016/M2FV4T">Nearly half of Americans</a> have encountered at least one serious problem with online safety.</p>
<p>There are a wide range of potential problems: Some people fall victim to criminally malicious attackers who steal personal information like Social Security or bank account numbers, compromise online accounts and conduct online scams stealing people’s money. Other people find friends or family members have shared private information without their consent. And still others lose jobs or other opportunities because prospective employers find unflattering information about them online. What all these situations have in common is simple: We do not have control over the information we believe to be private.</p>
<p>One key to staying safer online may be getting advice from the right places – people and sources with accurate, helpful information that can let you take control of your online privacy and security. My own research, in collaboration with <a href="http://seankross.com/">Sean Kross</a> and <a href="https://www.umiacs.umd.edu/%7Emmazurek/">Michelle Mazurek</a>, explores where people get their advice about online security, and how useful it actually is. </p>
<p>Those sources include librarians, government websites and co-workers. They offer a wide range of advice, such as customizing social media privacy settings and using password managers, which can make it easier to use strong, complex passwords without having to remember them.</p>
<p><a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.13016/M2FV4T">We analyzed a survey of 3,000 internet users across the United States</a>, and found that where people get advice has a lot to do with their online safety experiences. We found that no matter how wealthy or how poor a person is, no matter her education level, the speed of her internet service or whether she has a smartphone, a person’s online safety is closely related to where, and from whom, she gets advice about online security. </p>
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<h2>Finding good advice</h2>
<p><a href="http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=2978307">Approximately 70 percent of Americans</a> learn about online security behaviors as a result of advice shared by friends, family and co-workers, or on websites they visit. Often they get this advice in casual conversation or web browsing. The advice they get can influence their behavior, ideally making them better at protecting themselves in the future.</p>
<p>Many people get privacy and security advice from their friends and relatives: 38 percent of Americans received assistance from people close to them. But they may not get very good information: 49 percent of them reported at least one online safety incident, such as identity theft or falling victim to an online scam. Emotional closeness doesn’t necessarily mean someone has good information to share.</p>
<p>Twenty percent of Americans sought out advice from their co-workers. One in four of those who did so also reported an online safety incident – half as many as those who took advice from friends and family.</p>
<p>The 25 percent of Americans who take advice from websites report fewer incidents than those who took advice from friends and coworkers. Only 14 percent of people who took advice from a government website reported an online safety problem. And just more than one in five people who took advice from a nongovernmental website reported an online safety incident. </p>
<p>The 13 percent of Americans who get advice from teachers or librarians, however, report the lowest frequency of online negative experiences: 8 percent of them had an online safety problem.</p>
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<h2>Evaluate the source</h2>
<p>With so much security advice available, of such varied quality, our research suggests people should not just follow their friends’ advice, or do something they read about online. Instead, when asking for advice from co-workers, friends and family, people should also ask how they learned this information. And they should think critically about the answers they get. Do those answers jibe with other advice from other sources? Seeking out people who work in internet or technology fields can also give useful perspectives, either about others’ advice or their own suggestions.</p>
<p>Our findings also suggest that librarians are underutilized but potentially very valuable sources of online safety information. We asked local librarians for a few suggestions of good resources for getting started with protecting your information. They recommended <a href="https://www.sjpl.org/privacy/get-started-today">Get Started With Privacy</a>, the <a href="https://hackblossom.org/cybersecurity/">Security Cheat Sheet</a> and <a href="https://ssd.eff.org">Security Starter Pack & Tutorials</a> as good first steps to making an online security plan. </p>
<p>To help keep children safe online, the librarians also recommended the <a href="https://staysafeonline.org/data-privacy-day/privacy-library/privacy-basics-for-parents-and-families">National Cybersecurity Alliance</a> website, with security and privacy activities and information for kids and parents alike. Our research also suggests that teachers may be a good source of high quality online security advice.</p>
<p>Research suggests that <a href="https://www.usenix.org/system/files/conference/soups2015/soups15-paper-ion.pdf">people should keep their software updated</a>, use a <a href="https://www.cnet.com/how-to/how-and-why-to-set-up-and-use-a-password-manager/">password manager</a> to assist with having strong and unique passwords and use <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-age-of-hacking-brings-a-return-to-the-physical-key-73094">two-factor authentication</a> to further secure their online accounts. With better advice from better sources, more people will stay safer online.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/73419/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Elissa Redmiles has received funding or data from the ACM Special Interest Group on Computer Science Education, Data&Society, Facebook, and the National Center for Women in Technology. She is also an editorial board member at Data4America. </span></em></p>Where people get advice about online safety may affect how safe they are.Elissa M. Redmiles, Ph.D. Student in Computer Science, University of MarylandLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/706032016-12-21T09:41:31Z2016-12-21T09:41:31ZChallenging your partner’s harsh parenting could benefit the children<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150731/original/image-20161219-24271-lzbcsn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=837%2C531%2C5178%2C3458&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption"></span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-327969434/stock-photo-indian-parent-dealing-with-daughter-with-tantrum.html?src=uHlEkfaLMnyaUpp6WAmqiA-1-11">wong yu liang/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Becoming a parent seems to render you fair game for parenting advice, regardless of whether it is based on evidence, opinion or delusion. Family, friends, and even helpful strangers in the street are likely to advise you on … well, everything. In an ideal world, your partner might be expected to offer support before criticism; validation before censure. But what if your parenting has crossed a line?</p>
<p>Prescribing an approach to family life <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-neuroparenting-is-sapping-the-joy-out-of-family-life-67333">misses the point</a>. Child temperament, parent personality, family circumstances and previous experience <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232447557_The_Multiple_Determinants_of_Parenting">all have a role to play</a> in parent-child relationships, and it’s a <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280575942_Unpacking_externalising_problems_negative_parenting_associations_for_conduct_problems_and_irritability">two-way street</a>. Relationships between parents and children come in all sorts of “best” shapes and sizes that reflect human differences, but some aspects of parenting have clear negative connotations for child outcomes.</p>
<p>Of particular significance is what we might call “harsh” parenting, marked by physical or psychological aggression. Such parenting approaches may include humiliating the child, yelling at them, calling them mean names or threatening them. It can also extend to smacking or yanking the child into place. <a href="https://www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and-resources/research-and-resources/pre-2013/child-abuse-and-neglect-in-the-uk-today/">According an NSPCC report from 2011</a>, close to 40% of parents with children under 11 admitted to using <a href="https://theconversation.com/parents-its-%20never-okay-%20to-hit-%20your-kids-%208049">physical punishment</a> in the previous year.</p>
<p>Harsh parenting has known <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4132073/">implications</a> for children’s well-being, such as increased anxiety as well as disruptive or oppositional behaviours and aggression. It’s no surprise then that harsh parenting gets a lot of attention from those looking to <a href="http://www.familylives.org.uk">intervene to support families</a>. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150806/original/image-20161219-24303-16r4go6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Things can quickly get strained.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/pic-151353104/stock-photo-little-child-is-crying.html?src=dpbzdYyuD2C_OGzEOsLDAA-1-71">Marcel Jancovic/Shutterstock</a></span>
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<p>The hard bit about intervention is that there are many <a href="http://www.genopro.com/genogram/family-systems-theory/">interconnected aspects of family life</a> that make it complex. One getting increased attention is coparenting, a term which describes child-rearing by mutually reinforcing teamwork. It is about how parents <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3185375/">work together in their roles</a> and some suggest it is <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3161510/">closely associated with children’s development</a>.</p>
<p>Early research into coparenting was focused on divorce, and the implications for how parents could work together for children’s well-being. Now it is used to help understand all family situations, whether <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3833150/Jennifer-Garner-takes-children-school-ex-Ben-Affleck-reveals-make-parenting-work.html">breaking up</a> or staying together, or anything in between.</p>
<p>High-quality coparenting can be defined by things like shared child-rearing values, cooperation and support of the other parent’s efforts. Low-quality coparenting may involve criticism, or actions that thwart or undermine the other’s parenting. And evidence suggests that high-quality coparenting may act as a buffer for children, for example, shielding them from <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/238336355_Beyond_parenting_Coparenting_and_children's_classroom_adjustment">parental criticism or negativity</a>.</p>
<p>But how does coparenting work as a system when forms of harsh parenting are at work? Can it buffer children from the harmful effects? Nobody had previously considered this question, but we thought it worth investigation.</p>
<h2>Tolerance</h2>
<p>In our study, PhD students Rachel Latham and Katherine Mark interviewed 106 mothers and fathers over the telephone about their perceptions of coparenting young twins, as well as collecting questionnaire-based information about harsh parenting and children’s disruptive behaviour. It was important for the research that we asked parents’ about their <em>perceptions</em> of coparenting, to get an insight into how they felt their partner viewed them as a parent, rather than what we might be able to observe. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=398&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=398&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=398&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/150738/original/image-20161219-24263-1o48qg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">In the shadows: understanding how coparenting works.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/pic-80950111/stock-photo-a-collection-of-family-members.html?src=lIEEFuTyigL2niAT8aQRdQ-1-53">solarseven/Shutterstock</a></span>
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<p>In our study, far from providing the expected buffer, high-quality coparenting as perceived by mothers exacerbated the toxicity of their harsh parenting for children’s disruptive behaviour, with increases over a one-year period during their transition to school. </p>
<p><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jcpp.12665/abstract">Our results</a> were initially surprising, but we soon realised that we had hit on something potentially crucial for intervention efforts.</p>
<p>Maternal perceptions of high-quality coparenting reflect a feeling that the partner supports her parenting, makes her feel like a good parent and shares the same child-rearing values. For mothers using harsh parenting strategies, then, high-quality coparenting implied a family climate where hostile interpersonal interactions are not only modelled by the mum, but also deemed acceptable or at least tolerated by the dad, likely even <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10750525/Shouting-at-children-increases-their-behaviour-problems.html">encouraging children to behave similarly</a> over time.</p>
<p>On the other hand, for these mothers, perceptions of low-quality coparenting suggested a coparent who refuses to sanction her harsh stategies, potentially undermining or even actively stopping them. As a result, these fathers are likely to reduce children’s exposure to a mother’s physical or psychological aggression and highlight these behaviours as inappropriate.</p>
<p>We should note that although dads’ harsh parenting was also associated with more disruptive behaviour, it was mums’ harsh parenting amplified by high-quality coparenting that shone through. While the role of dads is changing, fathers typically still spend <a href="http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12546-012-9086-5">less time with their children</a>. We think it’s likely that when mum is harsh and supported by dad, it’s simply more salient for children’s behaviour.</p>
<p>Help and support are vital for parents – it can be a tough job, <a href="http://childmind.org/article/managing-problem-behavior-at-home/">particularly when faced with a disruptive child</a>. Often you need support and validation from your husband, wife or partner; but sometimes, if they are harsh, you need to question them, and you can do that in the knowledge that it can produce a better outcome for the child.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/70603/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Bonamy R. Oliver does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>New research highlights the dangers of being too supportive when family relations are strained.Bonamy R. Oliver, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, University of SussexLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.