tag:theconversation.com,2011:/ca/topics/child-custody-13485/articlesChild custody – The Conversation2023-08-15T15:56:34Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2115752023-08-15T15:56:34Z2023-08-15T15:56:34ZAdults: how a sex play about boomers v millennials brings both together<p>Kieran Hurley’s new play <a href="https://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/event/adults-festival-23">Adults</a> brilliantly illuminates an intergenerational clash that should leave <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2008/06/25/baby-boomers-the-gloomiest-generation/">boomers</a> (born between 1945 and 1964) and <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/01/17/where-millennials-end-and-generation-z-begins/">millennials</a> (born between 1981 and 1996) in the audience with a little more empathy for each other.</p>
<p>It all starts entertainingly when a strawberry milkshake bursts open in the face of Iain (Conleth Hill) just as he arrives early at the flat of thirtysomething Zara (Dani Heron). Zara is a sex worker who runs her business from home “collectively and ethically”.</p>
<p>Iain, in his 60s, married with two grown-up daughters, is completely out of his comfort zone and there to have sex with a young man: Zara’s business partner, Jay (Anders Hayward), who is running late.</p>
<p>As Iain wipes the pink goo from his face, Zara recognises him as her former teacher Mr Urquhart. And so Hurley sets up his character triangle. For the next 80 minutes, the audience has the pleasure of watching Zara, Iain and Jay argue with, blackmail, and eventually simply hold each other across the generational divide.</p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/apr/29/millennials-struggling-is-it-fault-of-baby-boomers-intergenerational-fairness">spat</a> between boomers and millennials has been rumbling on for the last few years, pitting the former against their children’s/grandchildren’s generation who are viewed as whiny, lazy snowflakes with an overinflated sense of entitlement.</p>
<p>Conversely, millennials view boomers as the generation that took everything, ruined everything, and have left very little for those who came after. As journalist David Barnett has succinctly <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/millenials-generation-x-baby-boomers-a7570326.html">pointed out</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Boomers live in the past and have ransomed the future. Millennials fear the future and are ignorant of the past.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Envy, resentment, misunderstanding</h2>
<p>Disappointed expectations and repressed resentment bubble up during Zara’s and Iain’s initial confrontation, which plays out in her small one-bedroom flat while she matter-of-factly turns her living space into a brothel, replete with dildo collection (set and costume design: Anna Orton).</p>
<p>Zara, a literature graduate now earning money through sex work, begrudges the older generation their safe careers and settled lifestyles, and resents her teacher for instilling in her the bogus belief she could do anything with her life. Iain, meanwhile, feels trapped and envies the younger generation their seeming freedom, abandon and sexual confidence.</p>
<p>Both are deliberately ignoring the fact that the object of their envy is a fantasy. Iain is oblivious to the fact that the carefreeness of the younger generation (the young men he watches in his videos) is largely performed for a capitalist market that values only these qualities.</p>
<p>Zara’s resentment, meanwhile, doesn’t take into account that the apparent safety of her teacher’s generation came at the expense of not pursuing other, maybe more exciting or fulfilling alternatives.</p>
<p>Their debate treads the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/apr/29/millennials-struggling-is-it-fault-of-baby-boomers-intergenerational-fairness">familiar territory</a> of millennial precarity versus boomer affluence, but is nonetheless supremely entertaining. Spontaneous applause rewards Zara’s viciously eloquent takedown of Iain’s cherished memories of reading his kids Thomas the Tank Engine, which, according to Zara, is simply “pseudo-imperialist nostalgic colonial nonsense … some big nostalgic cry-wank for a lost idea of Britain”. </p>
<p>However, once Jay arrives, with his infant daughter screaming in the pram, the stakes are raised considerably. While Zara berates him for bringing his daughter to work, he insists that she owes him money, thus revealing her talk of an ethical and “non-hierarchical business practice” as hypocritical.</p>
<p>Jay needs money to secure shared custody of his daughter. And when the little one finally goes to sleep, he puts all his expertise into performing the willing, lascivious little “twink” to seduce the inhibited Iain and earn his money.</p>
<h2>Comedy and tragedy</h2>
<p>Hayward and Hill (who played Varys, Master of the Whisperers, in Game of Thrones) excel in this seduction scene that alternates beautifully between moments of physical comedy and verbal exchanges that reveal profound sadness. Hill’s Iain, a sexually inexperienced older man who has never explored his desires, gradually develops into a tentative, then enthusiastic punter who enjoys roleplay – only to revert to the condescending, middle-class teacher who judges Jay for how he earns his money and is scathing about his parenting.</p>
<p>Hayward’s Jay writhes seductively on the floor, performs the invested listener and works his literal butt off, but draws the line at being insulted. When he vindictively posts a compromising picture of Iain on Facebook, the secrets that Iain and Zara have kept from their families are revealed.</p>
<p>Roxana Silbert’s confident direction lets the play text breathe and leaves room for her actors to insert some well-timed physical comedy – Hill sliding/falling off various bits of furniture hits the spot every time. </p>
<p>In the end, Iain, shocked but also relieved that he has nothing more to lose, comes clean to his wife in the face of his very public outing. The humbled Zara acknowledges in yet another reference to children’s literature, this time <a href="https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-lorax/dr-seuss/9780007455935">The Lorax by Dr Seuss</a>, that she just might be a “Once-ler” too – meaning to “accept that the world you’re passing on is in a worse state than when you inherited it”.</p>
<p>Before the lights go out, we see Jay, the overwhelmed millennial father, lying on the bed holding the sobbing Iain, while offstage the voice of his crying baby clamours for attention to the coming generation.</p>
<p>With Adults, Hurley, a millennial author himself, seems to appeal to his own generation to let go of their rage, be more understanding of their elders, and accept that, one day, they too will to be blamed for the future. Because as it turns out, confirms Iain: “Everyone always grows up thinking it’s the end of the world.”</p>
<p><em>Adults is showing until August 27 at the Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh</em></p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ann-Christine Simke is affiliated with the theatre company Stellar Quines. She is a member of the board for the company.</span></em></p>Kieran Hurley’s new play treads the familiar debate of millennial precarity versus boomer affluence with verve and insight.Ann-Christine Simke, Lecturer in Performance, University of the West of ScotlandLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2055622023-05-18T05:29:22Z2023-05-18T05:29:22ZGovernment’s family law bill is a big step forward. But it doesn’t do enough to address family violence<p>The Labor government’s <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Bills_Legislation/Bills_Search_Results/Result?bId=r7011">Family Law Amendment Bill 2023</a> is making its way quietly through Australia’s federal parliament. It will become one of the most important laws passed this year.</p>
<p>It <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/bill_em/flab2023204/index.html">proposes to</a> overhaul the family law system to make it “safer and simpler for separating families to navigate, and ensure the best interests of children are placed at its centre”. </p>
<p>We should celebrate the fact this bill is passing through parliament. It shows the government has responded to <a href="https://www.anrows.org.au/publication/no-straight-lines-self-represented-litigants-in-family-law-proceedings-involving-allegations-about-family-violence/">insistent calls for change</a> to protect families. </p>
<p>But here’s why it doesn’t go far enough in addressing family violence.</p>
<h2>What’s the bill for?</h2>
<p>The bill will make important changes to the rules that govern parenting arrangements after separation.</p>
<p>It will remove the presumption of “<a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s61da.html">equal shared parental responsibility</a>”. Under the current law, this presumption means both parents have a role in making major, long-term decisions about their children.</p>
<p>However, it’s often misinterpreted. <a href="https://consultations.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/family-law-amendment-bill/consultation/view_respondent?_b_index=240&uuId=931667378">Many people believe</a> it means parents are entitled to equal time with their children, regardless of domestic and family violence or abuse.</p>
<p>This bill will finally make it clear that equal time isn’t always appropriate or safe for families with a history of abuse.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1655807754471342080"}"></div></p>
<h2>The problem of family violence</h2>
<p>The grim reality is that family violence is the norm, not the exception in family law. <a href="https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/sites/default/files/2021-11/mr101121_0.pdf">Recent data</a> shows well over half of cases before the family court involve allegations of family violence against children or one parent.</p>
<p>Separation often doesn’t mean an end to the violence, but <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1084682">more harm and control</a>, especially at contact changeover times for children or during the court process.</p>
<p>Helen Politis, a victim-survivor of abuse and veteran of the family law system explains what this meant for her:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The reign of chaos my children and I experienced prior to separation escalated post separation. Even worse was that this damaging behaviour was inadvertently enabled, legitimised, perpetuated and, I fear, normalised for my children.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Victim-survivors face a <a href="http://hdl.handle.net/2123/6255">common belief from family law professionals</a> that children need a relationship with their father, no matter the abuse they have suffered. As Helen explains:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Despite the overwhelming evidence of continued abuse and countless examples of the ways in which my children were being used as pawns, my own lawyers denied my situation. Routinely my desperate pleas to my lawyers were met with dismissive responses such as “it takes two to tango” and “you can’t clap with one hand”.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This is even worse when the system itself is deliberately used by perpetrators to control and intimidate victim-survivors. Research in <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1748895817728380">Australia</a> and <a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/895175/domestic-abuse-private-law-children-cases-literature-review.pdf">the United Kingdom</a> demonstrates this “legal systems abuse” is common in family law. </p>
<p>For Helen, the legal system was a core component of family violence:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Being caught in the family law system felt very dangerous. I was in an impossible situation, with no way out and no way of protecting my children.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>What needs to be done?</h2>
<p>This bill makes important progress, but there are two main reasons why it doesn’t go far enough. </p>
<p><strong>It must allow histories of violence</strong></p>
<p>First, the bill needs to be stronger in recognising where family violence has occurred. </p>
<p>In the bill, there will be six principles to help judges, lawyers and parents decide what arrangements would be in children’s best interests. The bill includes reference to “safety” as one of these six principles, but at the same time proposes to remove a <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s60cc.html">reference in the current law</a> to a history of violence in considering the best interests of children. </p>
<p>Simplification of the law shouldn’t come at the cost of harm. As family law expert Zoe Rathus from Griffith University explains: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Talking about safety is talking about the future. Talking about violence is talking about the past – and talking about the past is critical to women and children being able to tell their stories when they have experienced family violence.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>There’s significant evidence that many <a href="https://theconversation.com/separated-parents-and-the-family-law-system-what-does-the-evidence-say-62826">victim-survivors’</a> allegations of family violence aren’t believed, and their experiences are <a href="https://search.informit.org/doi/10.3316/INFORMIT.702873923415841">minimised in the family law system</a>. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/separated-parents-and-the-family-law-system-what-does-the-evidence-say-62826">Separated parents and the family law system: what does the evidence say?</a>
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</em>
</p>
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<p>Helen’s own lawyers advised her not to raise her experiences of past family violence in her case, for fear it would be held against her: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I believed that the family law system would provide my children with the safety and support that they rightfully deserved. What I experienced was an incredibly lengthy, frightening and financially depleting process. Family violence is what led me into the family law system, yet despite the irrefutable evidence, it was routinely ignored.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>As it stands, this bill reinforces this problem. It suggests we should ignore information and evidence about past violence, and pretend it isn’t relevant to the future safety of victim-survivors or the children at the heart of these arrangements. </p>
<p>To address this, the bill should retain the provision that allows evidence of any family violence to be considered. </p>
<p><strong>It must recognise ‘legal systems abuse’</strong></p>
<p>Second, the bill needs to do more to address <a href="https://dfvbenchbook.aija.org.au/understanding-domestic-and-family-violence/systems-abuse/">legal systems abuse</a>. </p>
<p>A major achievement of this bill is it will introduce a new power for judges to make orders that stop people bringing court proceedings where it would cause harm to the other family members involved.</p>
<p>However, it needs to go further. The bill needs to reflect global evidence and finally recognise “systems abuse” as a form of family violence. </p>
<p>Systems abuse could be explicitly listed as an example of family violence in the <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html">Family Law Act 1975</a>, as recommended by a recent unpublished study by Lucy Foster from Monash University. </p>
<p>We believe the bill could add systems abuse into the existing definition of family violence used in law.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/no-simple-solution-when-families-meet-the-law-58641">No simple solution when families meet the law</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>It’s important parliament takes this opportunity to get our family laws as strong as possible on the issue of family violence. </p>
<p>We support Helen in her hope for this new law:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Although too late for me and my children… I am hopeful this time we have the courage to step up and deliver a Family Law Act that does not further damage the lives of vulnerable people. Simple changes such as recognising past violence can make all the difference. The proposed changes do not seem to go far enough to address the harms inflicted on vulnerable people before the family law system, overwhelmingly women and children.</p>
</blockquote>
<hr>
<p><em>The authors would like to acknowledge Helen Politis, who coauthored this article. Helen is a workplace advisor and advocate. She works with organisations, including 1800 Respect and the Judicial College of Victoria towards ending family violence.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205562/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Becky Batagol provided advice to Zoe Daniels MP on the Family Law Amendment Bill 2023. Helen Politis provided statements and input to the solutions proposed for this story based upon her lived experience of family violence in the family law system. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jessica Mant provided advice to Zoe Daniels MP on the Family Law Amendment Bill 2023.</span></em></p>We should celebrate that this bill is passing through parliament. But there are 2 key concerns.Becky Batagol, Associate Professor of Law, Monash University, Monash UniversityJessica Mant, Lecturer in Law, Monash UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1987732023-01-30T23:20:41Z2023-01-30T23:20:41ZLabor’s proposed family law overhaul makes some important changes, but omits others<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507201/original/file-20230130-12430-9z07f6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">April Fonti/AAP</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>There is much to be excited about in Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus’s <a href="https://ministers.ag.gov.au/media-centre/consultation-draft-family-law-amendment-bill-2023-30-01-2023">draft Family Law Amendment Bill 2023</a>, the first in a projected series of reforms that promise to put children’s needs and interests back at the centre of family law. </p>
<p>But the proposed reforms stop short of the radical change that is required. </p>
<p>To change the culture of the court, children need legal <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/childrens-rights/convention-rights-child">rights</a> – not just a rubbery set of “best interests”. And the court must be responsible for ensuring children’s rights are protected.</p>
<p>A central problem is that the adversarial culture of the court marginalises children, and can profoundly silence them, including when children express concerns about their safety.</p>
<p>On the upside, the proposed legislation will require the Federal Circuit and Family Court, and Family Court of Western Australia, to more adequately prioritise children’s safety concerns than it has done in the past.</p>
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<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/book-extract-broken-requiem-for-the-family-court-166406">Book extract: 'Broken' — requiem for the family court</a>
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</em>
</p>
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<h2>Ending the presumption of ‘shared parental responsibility’</h2>
<p>It abandons the presumption of “shared parental responsibility”, which has been widely misunderstood to mean shared care. This may be an achievable goal for families that do not need to go to court to make safe arrangements for their children’s care, but is unsuitable if not dangerous for families with the complex needs and risk factors that come before the court. This includes domestic abuse and family violence, child sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, and serious mental health concerns. </p>
<p>Instead, the bill proposes that the child should be at the centre of every legal determination. </p>
<p>Significantly, the child’s views will be given greater prominence in the legislation, rather than being treated as optional extras. </p>
<p>Independent children’s lawyers – whose role is to ensure evidence relevant to the child’s “best interests” is put before the court – will also find it more difficult to <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-06/IndependentChildrensLawyerStudyFinalReport.pdf">circumvent the requirement</a> to actually speak to the children whose “best interests” they are meant to represent.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507222/original/file-20230130-14-n49xd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">The new legislation will remove the onus on ‘shared parental responsibility’, which has often been misconstrued as ‘equal’ parenting time.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Cassiano Psomas/Unsplash</span></span>
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<h2>Giving children a voice</h2>
<p>The fact that children’s safety and views have not been the guiding principles in family law for almost two decades ought to be a <a href="https://www.blackincbooks.com.au/books/broken">matter of public shame</a>. </p>
<p>In 2023, Australian <a href="https://www.whitlam.org/publications/they-thought-it-was-safe">children have fewer rights</a> under the Family Law Act than they did in 1975, when it was first enacted by the Whitlam government.</p>
<p>This devaluing of children’s rights has contributed to the courts’ failure to adequately recognise the autonomy of older children. This includes the right of young people to make age-appropriate decisions about their lives, such as what subjects they will study, where they will live, and who they will see. </p>
<p>In some instances, young people have been subjected to <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/UNSWLawJl/2019/47.html">unnecessarily traumatic and expensive litigation</a>. One such example is a trial – the second of two final hearings – that sought to determine whether a young man a few months shy of 18 was permitted to <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/cases/cth/FamCA/2015/727.html">accept a hockey scholarship</a>.</p>
<p>The dangers that attend highly adversarial family court proceedings have been raised in evidence in successive inquests into child deaths, such as the <a href="https://coroners.nsw.gov.au/documents/findings/2021/Inquest_into_the_deaths_of_John_Jack_and_Jennifer_Edwards_-_findings_of_State_Coroner_dated_7_April_2021.pdf">murders of Jack and Jennifer Edwards</a> by their father, the <a href="https://www.coronerscourt.wa.gov.au/I/inquest_into_the_deaths_of_jessica_rose_cuzens_and_jane_lesley_margaret_cuzens_and_heather_glendinning.aspx">murders of Jane and Jessica Cuzens</a> by their mother, and the murders of <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-07-15/doctors-knew-freeman-was-violent-before-bridge-murder/6620082">Darcey Freeman</a>, <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-03-27/coroner-recommends-children-not-returned-by-parents-as-missing/10945082">Eeva Dorendahl</a>, <a href="https://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/come-with-daddy-child-murder-suicide-after-family-breakdown">Jessica and Patrick Dalton</a>, and <a href="https://www.coronerscourt.vic.gov.au/sites/default/files/2018-12/lukegeoffreybatty_085514.pdf">Luke Batty</a>, by their fathers.</p>
<p>Under court orders, children are routinely forced against their will into supervised (and unsupervised) contact arrangements with alleged perpetrators of domestic violence and child sexual abuse – including cases in which abuse has been deemed <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ajs4.171">likely, probable, or even proven</a>.</p>
<p>The court should not be exempt from obligations under the <a href="https://childsafe.humanrights.gov.au/sites/default/files/2019-02/National_Principles_for_Child_Safe_Organisations2019.pdf">National Principles for Child Safe Organisations</a>, an outcome of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. It should also be required to conform to Australia’s human rights obligations, as a signatory to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.</p>
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<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-and-your-partner-thinking-of-separating-heres-how-to-protect-the-kids-mental-health-194912">Are you and your partner thinking of separating? Here's how to protect the kids' mental health</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
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<h2>The proposed changes</h2>
<p>The draft Family Law Amendment Bill gives effect to key recommendations in the Australian Law Reform Commission’s 2019 review of the family law system. These changes were shamefully stalled by the former Morrison government. </p>
<p>The proposed legislation will require family report writers and Chapter 15 experts – who tender evidence and provide services to the court – to at long last be regulated for standards and quality. </p>
<p>The court’s failure to adequately regulate these standards has led to glaring injustices, such as the infamous case in which <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-08-26/family-court-report-writer-charged-with-child-sex-abuse/11434172">an accused paedophile was used as a court expert</a> to provide advice on allegations of child sexual abuse. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507224/original/file-20230130-12372-t5ry5u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus’ draft bill goes some way to giving children more say in decisions that directly affect their lives, but it needs to go further.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Lukas Coch/AAP</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The bill makes some attempt to address litigation abuse, <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/Women_Intimate_Partner_Violence_and_the/APUTEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=inauthor:%22Heather+Douglas%22&printsec=frontcover">a widely documented phenomenon</a> in which a perpetrator seeks to weaponise the legal system – sometimes launching multiple actions across a variety of legal jurisdictions – in order to intimidate, harm, <a href="https://search.informit.org/doi/abs/10.3316/agispt.20201102038991">inflict financial damage</a>, threaten and harass a victim. The court will be given more power to throw out such cases than it has at present. </p>
<p>There are also changes designed to <a href="https://www.wlsnsw.org.au/law-reform/sense-and-sensitivity-2016/">better protect sensitive information</a>, to safeguard against situations in which perpetrators use subpoenas to gain access to a victim’s medical or therapeutic records in order to inflict harm. </p>
<p>Many parts of the bill seek to clarify existing arrangements, such as setting out the circumstances in which a parenting order can be changed. </p>
<p>This may have some impact on litigation abuse, but it is unlikely to assist victims who have agreed to unsafe children’s arrangements out of fear, or a lack of financial resources. It also does not help, for example, a <a href="https://www.anrows.org.au/publication/no-straight-lines-self-represented-litigants-in-family-law-proceedings-involving-allegations-about-family-violence/">self-represented litigant</a> whose English-language skills are not at the level that a fast-paced adversarial legal action requires.</p>
<p>A recent <a href="https://www.anrows.org.au/publication/compliance-with-and-enforcement-of-family-law-parenting-orders-final-report/">report commissioned from Australian Institute of Family Studies</a> demonstrates that contraventions of court orders often occur because children and young people are not given age-appropriate opportunities to participate in decision-making that directly affects their lives. The report also found a significant number of children subject to court orders are living in unsafe arrangements.</p>
<h2>Reining in those who profit</h2>
<p>Another glaring omission is the need to more strongly regulate the activities of the private legal profession, including <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/dec/20/obscenely-high-how-family-court-costs-are-destroying-parents-and-their-children">obscene profiteering</a>. </p>
<p>The bill addresses some unintended consequences of <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s121.html">privacy provisions</a> contained in the act. But it does not allow adults whose parents went to court when they were children to <a href="https://theconversation.com/quite-irreparable-damage-child-family-violence-survivors-on-how-court-silenced-and-retraumatised-them-185198">openly talk</a> about the ways in which the court’s decisions impacted their lives. </p>
<p>Privacy provision should not be used to conceal injustice or silence victims.</p>
<p>Children do not suddenly transform from dependence to autonomy on reaching the age 18. It is <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Decisional-Privacy-and-the-Rights-of-the-Child/Dimopoulos/p/book/9781032123462">by making age-appropriate decisions</a> about their lives that young people work out how to live and – ultimately – what sort of citizen they would like to be.</p>
<p>In 1975, the Whitlam government accepted that a young person at 14 had a right to actively make decisions about their lives, unless there were compelling reasons for a court to intervene. </p>
<p>It’s time to go back to the future – and put children’s safety and rights at the centre of family law.</p>
<p><em>Camilla Nelson is co-author of <a href="https://www.blackincbooks.com.au/books/broken">Broken: Children, Parents and Family Courts</a>, Black Inc/La Trobe University Press</em>.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/198773/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Camilla Nelson has received funding from the Whitlam Institute within Western Sydney University. </span></em></p>New legislation will overhaul family law, including the onus on ‘shared parental responsibility’ but more needs to be done to give children a voice.Camilla Nelson, EG Whitlam Research Fellow at the Whitlam Institute, and Associate Professor, University of Notre Dame AustraliaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1591922021-12-02T13:41:17Z2021-12-02T13:41:17ZVictims of domestic abuse find no haven in family courts<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/435169/original/file-20211201-28-ofd183.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=7%2C0%2C5174%2C3395&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Women's reports of domestic violence are widely rejected by family courts.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/judges-desk-in-court-room-royalty-free-image/103300237?adppopup=true">The Image Bank/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The #MeToo movement <a href="https://scholarship.law.georgetown.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3271&context=facpub">may have shifted</a> the balance of credibility on sexual abuse and harassment at work more toward victims and away from alleged perpetrators. But the same cannot be said regarding men’s violence and abuse at home: In fact, women’s reports of domestic violence are still widely rejected, especially in one critical setting: the family court. </p>
<p>When women, children or both report abuse by a father in a case concerning child custody or visitation, courts often refuse to believe them. Judges even sometimes “shoot the messenger” by removing custody from the mother and awarding it to the allegedly abusive father. </p>
<p><a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.3448062">For instance</a>, courts reject 81% of mothers’ allegations of child sexual abuse, 79% of their allegations of child physical abuse, and 57% of their allegations of partner abuse. Overall, 28% of mothers alleging a father is abusive lose custody to that father; this percentage rises to 50% when an allegedly abusive father accuses the mother of “parental alienation” (more on this below). </p>
<p>Family courts’ hostility – both in the U.S. and abroad – toward claims of paternal or spousal abuse has been <a href="https://ssrn.com/abstract=3805955">widely reported by scholars</a> <a href="https://www.themonthly.com.au/issue/2015/november/1446296400/jess-hill/suffer-children#mtr">and litigants</a>. But it’s only recently that empirical data has been produced that validates the growing chorus of distress. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A child looks at building block toys." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/431146/original/file-20211109-17-1lsi2ok.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Recent study shows abuse claims by mothers and children are often ignored by courts.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/lego-building-bricks-constructed-by-a-child-news-photo/976028420?adppopup=true">David Potter/Construction Photography/Avalon/Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>‘Dynamic of resistance’</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.law.gwu.edu/joan-s-meier">I am a scholar of domestic violence and the law</a>. Working with four other researchers, I conducted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/09649069.2020.1701941">a federally funded study</a> that reviewed all electronically published family court cases between parents in the U.S. between 2005 and 2014 related to custody or visitation that involved abuse or alienation claims. </p>
<p>Among the results from this analysis of thousands of cases: Courts rejected women’s claims of partner violence and child abuse by men, on average, roughly two-thirds of the time. They rejected mothers’ claims of child abuse by fathers approximately 80% of the time. And they reversed custody from mothers alleging abuse to the allegedly abusive fathers at rates ranging from 22% – for partner violence claims – to 56% when mothers alleged both sexual and physical child abuse. </p>
<p>The same dynamic of resistance to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/09649069.2020.1702409">mothers’ abuse claims against fathers in custody cases has been documented</a> across the globe. </p>
<p>Courts’ skepticism in these cases is due to many factors, but <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15379418.2019.1613204">a key driving force</a> is the concept of “parental alienation” or “parental alienation syndrome,” which was invented in the 1980s by a psychiatrist named Richard Gardner. </p>
<p><a href="http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/1/24/does-a-controversialdiagnosishelpfathersdodgeabusecharges.html">Gardner claimed</a> that the vast majority of child sexual abuse claims in custody court were false. In addition to attributing false allegations to mothers’ vengeance against their ex-husbands, <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Sex_Abuse_Hysteria.html?id=swpoAAAAIAAJ">he theorized</a> that mentally unbalanced mothers also convince themselves (falsely) that their children are being abused by their fathers. </p>
<p>Gardner’s “parental alienation syndrome” (“PAS”) was eventually <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15379410903084681">discredited</a> by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15379410903084681">courts and scholars</a>. But the <a href="https://jkseminars.com/pdf/AlienatedChildArt.pdf">notion of parental alienation as the toxic influence of a primary parent</a> that turns children against the other parent continues to profoundly influence family courts’ responses to women’s claims of abuse, especially child sexual abuse. </p>
<p>Thus, our study found, consistent with Gardner and parental alienation theory, that when a father accused of sexual abuse responded by accusing the mother of parental alienation, 50 out of 51 courts sided with the father and refused to believe the sexual abuse claim. </p>
<p>Our study also found that when allegedly abusive fathers respond to any type of abuse allegations by accusing mothers of alienation, mothers are roughly twice as likely to be disbelieved, and their rate of custody losses doubles to roughly 50%. </p>
<p><iframe id="ifHNr" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/ifHNr/4/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>While Gardner’s syndrome theory has <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15379410903084681">been repudiated as unscientific</a>, parental alienation writ large continues to be treated by many family court professionals and judges as quasi-scientific, even though there is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15379410903084681">no credible scientific research to support the theory</a>. </p>
<p>More specifically, there is no empirical research supporting the idea that, when one parent bad-mouths the other or takes other steps to undermine the other’s relationship with a child, the child actually turns against the “targeted” parent. In fact, <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-15340-007">research has found the opposite</a>: that bad-mouthing can actually backfire, by turning the child against the bad-mouthing parent. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Parenting_Plan_Evaluations/6zrKDAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=michael+saini+et+al+parental+alienation+research+survey&pg=PA374&printsec=frontcover.">Nor is there any objective way to distinguish</a> a child’s legitimate and justified estrangement due to the avoided parent’s own behaviors from an estrangement unjustifiably fueled by the other parent. </p>
<p>In short, there is no scientific or objective means of applying the alienation label. Rather, it is applied whenever an evaluator or court subjectively chooses not to believe a mother and/or a child’s abuse claims and chooses to instead believe the mother is malicious or sick and the child is not in reality. </p>
<h2>Who gets protected?</h2>
<p>Most people presume that family courts are protective of children and responsive to abuse concerns. This assumption persists in part because society underestimates abusers’ <a href="https://f.hubspotusercontent00.net/hubfs/5507857/Free%20Downloads/PerpManipulation_4721.pdf">manipulations of the legal system</a>, courts’ inclination to prioritize <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1768029&download=yes,">fathers’ rights and access above most other concerns,</a> and the <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2132328">backlash against women who are seen as not wanting to share</a> the kids. </p>
<p>The belief that it is fathers, not mothers, who can’t get a fair shake in custody cases is further fueled by fathers’ rights groups’ claims that courts are <a href="https://www.fathersrights.com/">biased against fathers</a>. </p>
<p>This <a href="https://www.nationalfamilysolutions.com/fathers-rights-help/">common assertion</a> helps fathers whose parenting may be poor or destructive <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10926771.2017.1320777">cast themselves as victims</a> while casting <a href="https://www.rachelwatsonbooks.com/blog1/family-courts-are-weaponized">mothers who raise such concerns as perpetrators</a>. And it encourages courts to view their prioritization of fathers’ rights as progressive and egalitarian. </p>
<p>Indeed, the scholarly literature surrounding custody court decision-making routinely emphasizes the <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3805955">importance of fathers and shared parenting</a>. These articles often reiterate that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9781316104538">fathering is critically important to children</a>, <a href="https://ir.lawnet.fordham.edu/faculty_scholarship/572/">without much attention to the specifics</a> of individual parents’ past behaviors and impacts on their children. This pro-father sentiment translates into treating mothers as personae non gratae when they seek to restrict paternal access <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1768029">or claim a father is dangerous or harmful</a>. </p>
<p>In fact, while family courts’ special valuation of fathering is difficult to prove empirically, our study did find that protective fathers are not penalized for accusing the mother of abuse, as are mothers who accuse fathers of abuse. The study also found that <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3448062">parental alienation claims benefit fathers more than mothers</a>. </p>
<h2>Deadly consequences</h2>
<p>The harm to both children and their protective mothers from these family court practices is significant. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15379418.2019.1613204">One study</a> of what are called “turned-around” cases involved allegations of child abuse that were at first viewed as false and later judged to be valid. This study found that a majority of children in these cases were forced to live with their abusive fathers, that the vast majority reported new incidents of abuse and that children’s mental and physical health significantly deteriorated before a second court finally sent them back to their safe mothers. </p>
<p>Worst of all, family courts’ refusals to take seriously one parent’s claims that the other parent is dangerous have enabled <a href="https://centerforjudicialexcellence.org/cje-projects-initiatives/child-murder-data/">over 100 child homicides</a>. </p>
<p>Perhaps it is time for #MeTooHome.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/159192/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Joan Meier received indirect funding from the U.S. National Institute of Justice. She is directing the National Family Violence Law Center at GW Law School. </span></em></p>Family courts’ hostility – both in the US and abroad – toward claims of paternal or spousal abuse has been widely reported. Now there’s an in-depth study that documents that hostility.Joan Meier, Professor of Law, George Washington UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1664062021-08-26T18:12:17Z2021-08-26T18:12:17ZBook extract: ‘Broken’ — requiem for the family court<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417351/original/file-20210823-19-14zqvp9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">April Fonti/AAP</span></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>On September 1, the Family Court of Australia will merge with the Federal Circuit Court. The Morrison government says this will “help reduce delays and backlogs in the family law courts”. However, the merger has been strenuously opposed by legal and family violence experts, who note Australia will be without a specialist, stand alone family court for the first time since the 1970s.</em></p>
<p><em>This is an edited extract from Broken, a new book by media academics Camilla Nelson and Catharine Lumby that explores the family court system.</em></p>
<hr>
<p>In the early 1980s, the newly established Family Court of Australia — “<a href="https://acuresearchbank.acu.edu.au/item/86vzq/born-in-hope-the-early-years-of-the-family-court-of-australia">born in hope</a>”, and ideals of conciliation — was hit by a series of <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-09-03/family-court-bomber-leonard-warwick-jailed-for-life/12624080">violent attacks</a> in Sydney. </p>
<p>A judge was shot dead outside his home, and a string of lethal bombings followed. </p>
<p>One injured a judge and two school-age children while they slept, demolishing almost half of their quiet suburban home. Another killed a judge’s wife when she opened her front door. A third bomb exploded outside the family court building in Parramatta, and a fourth detonated inside a church hall, killing a member of the congregation, and seriously injuring 13 others, including children.</p>
<p>The murders and bombings remained unsolved until 2015, when Leonard Warwick was finally charged. His murderous rampage followed a legal dispute with his ex-wife over care of their five-year-old daughter. </p>
<p>His attacks on the family court indicated a fiercely held belief in his “right” to control his family. In <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/sep/03/family-court-bomber-leonard-warwick-73-sentenced-to-three-life-terms">sentencing</a> Warwick, Justice Peter Garling acknowledged the political dimensions of the crimes, saying it “cannot be viewed as anything other than an attack on the very foundations of Australian democracy”. </p>
<p>Yet, after the bombs went off, commentators of the day did not condemn Warwick’s violence, but the court instead. Elizabeth Evatt, then chief justice of the family court, explained, </p>
<blockquote>
<p>They said, “The Court has been bombed, what’s wrong with the Court?”</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Successful terrorism</h2>
<p>The family court bombings were remarkable in that they were successful as acts of terrorism. Although commentators at the time readily acknowledged the murders were wrong, many made excuses on behalf of the perpetrator. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="The cover of the book 'Broken' by Camilla Nelson and Catharine Lumby." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=918&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=918&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=918&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1153&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1153&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417349/original/file-20210823-23-vvr9oq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1153&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption"></span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Black Inc.</span></span>
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<p>In the media, the violence was rationalised as the actions of a man who had been treated unfairly — of a man who, as The Sydney Morning Herald reported, was “extremely distressed by a decision of the court”. The paper called for a “fundamental reappraisal” of the new court, opining, “There must be something seriously wrong with the Family Court system for such an outrage to occur”.</p>
<p>According to The Bulletin, the family court was “too much of a revolution” and the bombings had “exposed serious flaws in our divorce machinery”. Warwick’s rampage was explained in much the same way as domestic abuse is explained: as the inevitable reactions of a “distressed” man who had been driven too far. The Australian said, “No wonder the man often feels a sense of rage.”</p>
<p>Almost immediately, then Attorney-General Gareth Evans sent a letter to activists in the nascent men’s rights movement, offering them a seat at the policy-making table by asking them what changes they would like to see to the court. This willingness of the Hawke Labor government to take the bomber’s “message” on board set the scene for the hijacking of family law that would reach its apogee under Liberal prime minister John Howard. </p>
<p>By the time the Howard government took office on a “family values” platform in 1996 — with a campaign brochure that featured a pastel-coloured drawing of a house with a white picket fence — the stage was set for a reform agenda that effectively elevated the claims of perpetrators above domestic abuse victims’ claims to safety. It would irrevocably change the culture of the court, so the court’s founding ideals would seem like a distant memory.</p>
<h2>Howard era changes</h2>
<p>Of Howard’s changes to the family court, one of the least discussed was the creation of the Federal Magistrates Court in 1999, renamed the Federal Circuit Court in 2013. This week, it becomes the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, following the abolition of the standalone family court. The Federal Magistrate’s Court was <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/QUTLawJJl/2003/22.html">designed</a> to be “a lean, cost-effective court” — imposing a technocratic, financially rationalised form of justice on affected families.</p>
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<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-government-still-wants-a-family-court-merger-new-research-shows-why-this-is-not-the-answer-151481">The government still wants a Family Court merger — new research shows why this is not the answer</a>
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</p>
<hr>
<p>Cases were to be solved swiftly and easily, often brutally. And this new managerialist behemoth progressively took over <a href="http://www.federalcircuitcourt.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/22d7697a-8f09-42d7-b209-7674790aaf3e/Federal+Circuit+Court+Annual+Report+201920_WEB.pdf?MOD=AJPERES&CVID=">90% of the family court’s caseload</a>, transforming the practice of family law beyond recognition. Federal Circuit Court cases are rapid and hectic, with minimal transparency. </p>
<p>In 40% of family law matters, one or both parties will be <a href="https://www.anrows.org.au/publication/no-straight-lines-self-represented-litigants-in-family-law-proceedings-involving-allegations-about-family-violence/">self-represented</a>. Studies show the most common reason for parties to self-represent is that they cannot afford escalating legal fees. </p>
<p>In a <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-government-still-wants-a-family-court-merger-new-research-shows-why-this-is-not-the-answer-151481">recent study</a> by Jane Wangmann, Tracey Booth and Miranda Kaye, one lawyer described the Federal Circuit Court as a “zoo”, in which everybody struggles to understand what is going on because “there’s so many people and it’s so noisy and it’s so confusing”. </p>
<p>One self-represented litigant told researchers that judges “push to settle”. They say, </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Just get it out of my court room, I don’t want to deal with this, get it out. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Another self-represented litigant said the judge asked her, “Why haven’t you settled, why haven’t you settled this yet?” The judge added:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I’m sick to death of people who won’t negotiate. Get out there and negotiate or I’m just going to flip a coin.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>‘An absolute fantasy’</h2>
<p>It should be unsurprising that parties to these proceedings frequently conclude that justice has not been served. </p>
<p>Tasmanian senator Jacqui Lambie — for all her populist, political complexity — seems to be one of the few politicians who has recently stepped inside one of the nation’s hyper-rationalised lower-tier courts. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Independent senator Jacqui Lambie." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417936/original/file-20210826-24-xt4y5k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Independent senator Jacqui Lambie has blasted the family court merger.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Mick Tsikas/AAP</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>She tried to convey the sense of shock in an <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Hansard/Hansard_Display?bid=chamber/hansards/b9b4d54c-068c-443a-852c-30cd8a038967/&sid=0014">excoriating speech</a> to parliament in February 2021 as the Senate debated the bill that would ultimately secure the courts merger.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Maybe you’re thinking of a system where the bad guys get locked up and the good guys are quickly let go. In the back of your mind, you possibly have an idea that everybody has a high-powered lawyer in an expensive suit — and, my goodness, are they expensive. … If that’s what you’re thinking, you aren’t alone; that’s how I used to think our court system worked as well. Oh dear. It’s funny when you have life experience of something … <strong>nb small cut to quote here</strong></p>
</blockquote>
<p>In reality, judges are overworked and under-resourced, and therefore — as Lambie put it — forced to “churn through [family law matters] as though they’re on a production line”. In a memorable image, she likened the work of the judiciary to flipping greasy meals like “someone in a burger joint”.</p>
<p>The 2006 reforms included funding for already existing family support services, such as Relationships Australia, and the establishment of a new network of Family Relationship Centres. After this, separating parents increasingly began to turn to mediation to settle their differences, rather than the courts, reaching negotiated agreements through intermediaries. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-family-court-does-need-reform-but-not-the-way-pauline-hanson-thinks-125728">The family court does need reform, but not the way Pauline Hanson thinks</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>This turn to non-legal mediation and non-adversarial settlement has been pronounced, creating emotionally better, more affordable outcomes for families, although funding for the sector has dwindled dramatically and fails to meet demand. </p>
<p>At the same time, domestic abuse has become the central issue in the cases that continue to be brought before the family courts.</p>
<h2>A ‘Rolls Royce’ system for the rich and another for everyone else</h2>
<p>In Australia, <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/publications/parenting-arrangements-after-separation">97% of separating families</a> do not go to court, although 16% use mediation, counselling and lawyers to settle their disputes. </p>
<p>The remaining 3% of separating parents who are compelled to use the courts as their main pathway to making children’s arrangements are predominately families affected by domestic abuse, child safety concerns and complex risk factors, including drug and alcohol abuse and mental health issues. </p>
<p>Up to 85% of litigated family law matters involve <a href="https://www.alrc.gov.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/alrc_report_135_final_report_web-min_12_optimized_1-1.pdf">domestic abuse</a>. This figure includes 54% of families reporting physical violence, 50% reporting safety concerns, and 85% reporting emotional abuse. There are no reliable figures for financial abuse, but this is a frequent feature of all domestic abuse cases.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Mother and small child climbing steps." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417935/original/file-20210825-13-19x6tfo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">If family law matters do go to court, most involve domestic abuse.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">David Crosling/AAP</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>One of the many glaring problems in the courts is that the law has been written with less troubled families in mind.</p>
<p>It is a little-known fact that 49% of cases before the “specialist” Family Court are property matters. In practice, outside specialist lists — such as the <a href="https://www.michaellynchfamilylawyers.com.au/what-is-the-magellan-list/">Magellan list</a> for “serious” child abuse — and the hearing of appeals, cases are commonly transferred from the allegedly “less specialist” Federal Circuit Court to the allegedly “more specialist” Family Court because they involve complex decision-making around taxation, superannuation, or companies and trusts. </p>
<p>Effectively, this means affluent families have their cases heard in what has long been dubbed the “<a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/QUTLawJJl/2003/22.html">Rolls Royce</a>” system of the family court. And the less affluent — including domestic abuse cases with aggravating factors such as drug and alcohol addiction or mental illness — are more frequently heard by commercially trained judges in the hyper-rationalised Federal Circuit Court. </p>
<p>This includes judges with little specific family law experience. Or as Lambie put it in her speech, </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Here is the divide between the rich and the poor.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The court merger will do little to change any of this.</p>
<p><em>Broken is released on August 30, via Black Inc.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/166406/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Camilla Nelson receives funding as EG Whitlam Research Fellow at the Whitlam Institute at Western Sydney University.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Catharine Lumby does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>A new book looks at the family court system, just as the Family Court of Australia merges with the Federal Circuit Court.Camilla Nelson, Associate Professor in Media, University of Notre Dame AustraliaCatharine Lumby, Professor of Media, Department of Media, University of SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1340932020-03-24T21:46:51Z2020-03-24T21:46:51ZCo-parenting in the coronavirus pandemic: A family law scholar’s advice<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322688/original/file-20200324-155652-17yxpi1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C7365%2C4817&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">When parents fight, kids suffer.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/why-do-they-have-to-fight-royalty-free-image/486417825">PeopleImages/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>As millions of people around the world practice social distancing and self-quarantine, they are separating themselves from everyone but their immediate family members. However, for divorced or separated parents who <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12300">share custody of their children</a>, the definition of “immediate family” isn’t obvious.</p>
<p>Already, family lawyers around the country are being inundated with calls from <a href="https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/divorce-family-law/coronavirus-child-custody-plans-answers-to-your-urgent-questions/">anxious parents worried about returning children</a> to co-parents who are not willing to practice social distancing. They are contemplating keeping their child away from the other parent, in violation of a shared-custody agreement – but wonder how courts will react.</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=0_aSL2IAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">I</a> have been a family law professor for almost 13 years. I have written numerous articles about custody and visitation. Until recently, I never even contemplated how these traditional family law concepts might change in response to a pandemic. Few custody and child-support court orders will have provisions covering how to share parenting in a pandemic – although they may become common in the future.</p>
<p>This is uncharted legal territory. The <a href="https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/proclamation-declaring-national-emergency-concerning-novel-coronavirus-disease-covid-19-outbreak/">federal government</a>, <a href="https://www.michigan.gov/coronavirus/0,9753,7-406-98163-521341--,00.html">many states</a> and even <a href="http://wvmetronews.com/2020/03/15/city-of-charleston-declares-state-of-emergency-in-response-to-covid-19/">municipal governments</a> around the country have declared states of emergency.</p>
<p>With many family courts closed, divorced or separated parents will have to make up arrangements as they go along. My strong advice is that parents should not try and equate the COVID-19 pandemic with other types of emergencies that may be covered in their custody agreements. </p>
<p>Instead, they should seek to work together – however difficult that may be – to provide for the best interests of their children, and to preserve a sense of fairness and equity, both emotionally and legally, however custody is shared.</p>
<h2>Finding common ground</h2>
<p>As workplaces shut down or convert employees to working from home, many parents may find opportunities to adjust schedules so the child can be cared for by one parent or the other, rather than bring in the care of sitters, nannies or members of the extended family.</p>
<p>Public health experts say it’s best to <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/coronavirus-social-distancing-and-self-quarantine">limit social circles</a> to reduce the spread of the coronavirus.</p>
<p>Parents should try to be a team in this situation, even if it is difficult. This is not the time to keep a minute accounting of how many overnights the other parent has had or to argue that the current school closures should be treated like summer vacation. Avoid gamesmanship. </p>
<p>Talk through concerns and be open to new arrangements. Reassure the other parent that any current reduction in their parenting time will be made up – eventually – and that in the meantime, they will have increased phone calls, video chats and other forms of non-physical contact. </p>
<p>I do recommend keeping records, including contacting the other parent in writing (by text or email), explaining what your concerns are about the current custody plan, and proposing a reasonable solution. It will be very helpful to encourage the other parent’s thoughts and suggestions on the proposal. Any coronavirus custody arrangement should accommodate the concerns and interests of both parents.</p>
<p>It is stressful for everyone – parents and children alike – to live through this pandemic. Children don’t need the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/bsl.2370090405">added worry of parental fights</a>. They badly need more stability and reassurance – especially about their contact and connection with those who love them the most.</p>
<h2>Judges look out for the kids</h2>
<p>It may not be easy to come to agreement. Every relationship – and ex-relationship – is different. Some couples may be used to sorting things out in court. That is less possible now than during normal times.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.mass.gov/probate-and-family-court-rules/probate-and-family-court-standing-order-2-20-court-operations-under">Most</a> <a href="http://firststateupdate.com/2020/03/delaware-family-court-facilities-ordered-closed-to-public/">family</a> <a href="https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/news/local/2020/03/17/covid-19-vermont-courts-cancel-most-hearings-close-buildings-public/5066012002/">courts</a> are closed for everything but emergency matters, which almost certainly do not include custody disputes. Of course, after the crisis passes, the courts will reopen.</p>
<p>At that time, I have little doubt that judges will be pleased with parents who have worked together to identify their children’s best interests, and taken steps to protect their health and safety. And I expect judges will be furious at parents who put their own interests before their children’s, and refused to cooperate with a willing and reasonable parent.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=474&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=474&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=474&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=596&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=596&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322691/original/file-20200324-155702-1vlk6ai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=596&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">This is what you want to avoid.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/gavel-is-held-out-as-a-threat-by-angry-judge-royalty-free-image/640207272">RapidEye/Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Disobeying a court order is a big unknown</h2>
<p>If agreement is really impossible, the path gets much more precarious. Shared-custody agreements and orders were crafted when the present crisis was unimaginable, but violating them is risky – even if the reason sounds solid. <a href="https://childrightsngo.com/newdownload/downloadsection10/Interference%20with%20Parental%20Rights%20of%20Noncustodial%20Parent%20as%20Grounds%20for%20Modification%20of%20Child%20Custody%20by%20Edward%20B.%20Borris.pdf">Judges may reduce visitation and custody</a> for parents who interfere with their ex-partner’s custodial rights.</p>
<p>Parents who fear for their children’s health may be willing to take their chances and hope that when this is all over, the family court will agree that their decision was reasonable. It is a big gamble – and regardless of the outcome is likely to involve significant legal expense and time fighting in court. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=387&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=387&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=387&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=486&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=486&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322631/original/file-20200324-155702-1mfoall.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=486&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Mediation may be a way to come to an agreement without going to court.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/mlevisonstartribune-com-03-09-07-assign-109539-new-world-news-photo/1155787050">Marlin Levison/Star Tribune via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Seeking help to settle disputes</h2>
<p>There are alternatives to conflict and animosity, and waiting for courts to reopen and sort things out.</p>
<p>Many <a href="http://mediationblog.kluwerarbitration.com/2020/03/14/reflections-in-the-age-of-coronavirus-covid-19/">family court</a> <a href="https://www.jdsupra.com/legalnews/covid-19-and-your-family-law-matter-43123/">mediators</a> remain available to <a href="https://lanecounty.org/government/county_departments/health_and_human_services/youth_services/family_mediation/court-_required_custody_and_parenting_time_mediati">help couples work out</a> pandemic related custody issues. Although the specific circumstances of the coronavirus pandemic are unprecedented, parental disputes about children’s health and safety are common. Mediators are well versed in these issues and can help families reach reasonable agreements. </p>
<p>Mediated agreements – even attempts at agreements – provide a contemporary and largely objective record of the parents’ thoughts, circumstances and concerns. That record may help judges sort out who was being reasonable and accommodating in seeking custody changes, and who was not.</p>
<p>In the effort to stem the spread of the coronavirus, Americans are repeatedly reminded that the decisions they make today will have <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/11/science/coronavirus-curve-mitigation-infection.html">direct consequences</a> on our individual and collective well-being in the future. This warning is not specifically directed at divorced or separated parents, but it is just as applicable. </p>
<p>The custody choices parents make in the next few weeks affect not only the immediate health and welfare of their children and families, but may also affect their future custody arrangements. Courts rarely look kindly on parents who put their needs before their children’s. In the aftermath of a pandemic, it safe to assume this will be even more true. </p>
<p>The circumstances surrounding many custody disputes have changed drastically in the past week, but as always, the safest bet is cooperation.</p>
<p>[<em>Insight, in your inbox each day.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=insight">You can get it with The Conversation’s email newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/134093/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Marcia Zug does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>The coronavirus pandemic is not like other emergencies addressed in custody arrangements. The best advice is to try to collaborate and cooperate – even if that’s difficult.Marcia Zug, Professor of Family Law, University of South CarolinaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1219072019-09-04T13:44:28Z2019-09-04T13:44:28ZHere’s what young people say helped them get through their parents’ divorce<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/288363/original/file-20190816-192235-jespk2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=66%2C81%2C4671%2C3200&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Children found it particularly difficult when parents couldn't agree on where they would live.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/sad-african-american-kid-girl-hugging-1282522480?src=jZGDYfU6Faedh9bmufoVXg-1-41">Shutterstock.</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>When parents separate or get divorced, it inevitably disrupts the lives of children, and can <a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/755135/Mental_health_and_behaviour_in_schools__.pdf">take a toll on their mental wellbeing</a>. Over time, children learn to accommodate the changes – some more successfully than others. It’s estimated that <a href="http://sro.sussex.ac.uk/id/eprint/44691/">one in three children</a> under the age of 16 in the UK experience their parents’ separation. </p>
<p>Parents often worry about how best to support their children, so that they can adjust to the changed family situation as successfully as possible. For <a href="https://policy.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/childhood-experiences-of-separation-and-divorce">my latest research</a>, I conducted a comprehensive survey of 34 young adults, aged 18 to 30, reflecting on their childhood experiences of separation and divorce. For some, their experience was as recent as one to three years ago – for others, it was much further behind them. </p>
<p>I found that most young people end up accommodating their parents’ separation well over time. Even so, my results indicate that certain factors can help or hinder children, as they adapt to this life-altering event. </p>
<h2>An end to conflict</h2>
<p>The most important thing, which helped children adjust, was when separation brought an end to conflict between their parents. This might not happen until initial arrangements about where children would live and when they would have contact with each parent were put in place. But when it did, my participants reported an immediate sense of relief, which helped them view the separation as a positive improvement in their lives. </p>
<p>Communication also made a big difference: being told what was going to happen in advance by their parents helped children make sense of their changing family situation. For young children, this often meant being <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0907568211421220?journalCode=chda">told more than once</a>. Children benefited from having the opportunity to talk about their parents’ separation, and receive support from other family members, such as aunts and grandmothers. Talking to siblings and friends – particularly trusted friends who had experienced their own parents’ separation – was <a href="https://www.naccc.org.uk/downloads/Children_involvment.pdf">also found to be helpful</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/288364/original/file-20190816-192246-1fawzbk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Family support makes a big difference.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/loving-understanding-old-grandma-embracing-little-1231591480?src=jZGDYfU6Faedh9bmufoVXg-1-44">Shutterstock.</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Children who were able to stay in contact with both parents, as well as their friends, accommodated separation and divorce better. It also helped if further changes were kept to a minimum: for example, if children continued to live in the same area and attend the same school after separation. Where this happened, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0907568211421220?journalCode=chda">children felt</a> their views had been taken into account in post-separation arrangements – they felt they “mattered” to their parents. This ultimately brought about a more positive view of the separation.</p>
<h2>Losing touch</h2>
<p>Children who lost contact with the parent they didn’t live with, but said this was what they wanted, tended to show a high level of accommodation. But those who did so involuntarily accommodated the separation less well. My <a href="https://policy.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/childhood-experiences-of-separation-and-divorce">research found that</a> they viewed their parents’ separation as neither a positive improvement, nor a significant loss, and showed a medium level of accommodation. </p>
<p>Few of these children were told about the separation in advance, and loss of contact meant they did not see their needs taken into account. While they did not experience conflict between their parents directly, they were often aware of their resident parent’s dislike of the other parent and felt “silenced” from talking about them at home, which led to a sense of divided loyalties. </p>
<p>These children appeared very isolated, having access to few sources of support within the family, no support outside the family and feeling unable to talk to anyone about the changes. Over time, they created an emotional distance from the separation, meaning they treated it as a life event and moved on.</p>
<h2>Continuing conflict</h2>
<p>Children who continued to experience conflict between their parents after separation accommodated the changes less well. My participants described feeling “caught in the middle” of their parents’ conflict, particularly at handovers, and feeling responsible for younger siblings. This aligns with <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0907568203010002002">findings</a> from <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258129026_A_scoping_review_of_qualitative_studies_about_children_experiencing_parental_separation">many previous studies</a>. They viewed their parents as being preoccupied with their own issues and concerns, and failing to take their children’s needs into account. They also felt unable to talk to anyone in the family about the separation, for fear of making the conflict worse. </p>
<p>Children found it particularly difficult when parents couldn’t agree on where they would live and contact arrangements, requiring them to talk to social workers as a result of family court proceedings. As children, my participants said they struggled to accept the post-separation changes, and as young adults their parents’ separation remained a very significant loss in their lives.</p>
<p>Having a sense of how these young adults experienced their parents’ separation in childhood, and the factors that helped them accommodate the changes it brought about well, can help guide parents who are separating now. It can inform their choices, and those of their families, to make sure their children have the best chance of accommodating separation well over time.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/121907/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Susan Kay-Flowers does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Communication, contact and an end to conflict all help children accommodate this major change.Susan Kay-Flowers, Senior Lecturer in Education and Childhood Studies, Liverpool John Moores UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1042772018-10-04T14:46:29Z2018-10-04T14:46:29ZAre joint custody and shared parenting a child’s right?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/238980/original/file-20181002-85632-j4r4n6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C30%2C1200%2C765&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">In France, nearly three-quarters of the children of divorced couples see their fathers only one weekend every fifteen days.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://pixabay.com/fr/p%C3%A8re-fille-fils-enfant-papa-2342674/">Pixabay</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Many families with children separate all around the world. In France, for instance, nearly <a href="http://www.justice.gouv.fr/budget-et-statistiques-10054/infostats-justice-10057/les-decisions-des-juges-concernant-les-enfants-de-parents-separes-27681.html">200,000 children per year</a> are affected by the divorce of their parents. After divorce, just over seven out of ten children (73%) live only with their mother and visit their father on alternate weekends. This phenomenon begs the question of the short- and long-term fate of these children, particularly in light of research showing that the <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-fr/The+Role+of+the+Father+in+Child+Development,+5th+Edition-p-9780470405499">active involvement of both parents in children’s lives is vital</a> to their development and well-being.</p>
<p>The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989), as well as the European Union Charter of Fundamental Rights (2011, Article 24), mandates that children should be allowed to maintain meaningful relationships with both of their parents. In parallel, the father’s involvement in rearing and childcare tasks in the family has grown significantly in recent decades, which in association with the salience of mothers’ engagement in labour market participation, has called for new family arrangements that need to be taken into account in public policies. </p>
<p>Most importantly, recent studies have clearly demonstrated that children’s ongoing relationships with both parents are vital, regardless of children’s age and situation. These convergences raise the question about needed reforms in social-legal policies and the therapeutic practices focused in post-divorce/separation relationships and living arrangements, in order to improve the welfare, development, and the “best interests” of children whose parents live apart. Additionally, they point out to the importance of raising public awareness about the importance of carrying out these reforms.</p>
<h2>The right to maintain regular relations with both parents</h2>
<p>The <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">Convention on the Right of the Child</a>, Article 9-3, emphasizes </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“the right of a child separated from both parents or one of them to regularly maintain personal relationships and direct contact with both parents, unless it is contrary to the best interests of the child”. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>This right is most salient to situations of parental separation, referred to in Article 9-1, which states that, “States Parties shall ensure that a child shall not be separated from his or her parents against their will, except when competent authorities subject to judicial review determine, in accordance with applicable law and procedures, that such separation is necessary for the best interests of the child.”</p>
<p>However, neither children’s rights nor the definition of their best interests is a straight forward definition, either in the Convention or in family laws. These concepts need to be interpreted according to the unique situation and circumstances of each child. This interpretation falls under the responsibility of the judges, but it is also the concern of international organizations focused on the well-being of children. Thus, a <a href="https://book.coe.int/eur/en/children-s-rights-and-family-law/6862-the-best-interests-of-the-child-a-dialogue-between-theory-and-practice.html">2014 conference</a> under the aegis of the Council of Europe concluded that: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“There is no comprehensive definition of the concept [‘best interests of the child’], and that its vagueness has resulted in practical difficulties for those trying to apply it. Some suggest that ‘best interests’ should therefore only be used when necessary, appropriate and feasible for advancing children’s rights, whereas others see the flexibility of the concept as its strong point.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>We advocate a “best interests of the child from the perspective of the child” approach to replace the current standard, taking into account the results of child-focused research on the consequences of parental divorce on children’s well-being.</p>
<h2>The balance between work and family life</h2>
<p>The recognition that the child benefits from both the care and close relationships with both parents reflects changes toward <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-954X.2010.01899.x">more equal divisions</a> of parenting and domestic tasks between mothers and fathers, as well as in the role of each in work-family articulation, in the <a href="https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/brinton/files/knight.brinton.ajs_.pdf">context of the dual earner family model</a>. This means that the male breadwinner/female housewife and caregiver family model has <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sp/article-abstract/8/2/152/1734373?redirectedFrom=fulltext">become obsolete</a> either as a family practice or as a basis for family policies.</p>
<p>Social and political advances have resulted in girls’ access to higher education and women’s integration into the professions. Undeniably, further progress remains in this regard. For instance, maternity leave should be adapted to allow for better retention in employment, and paternity leave should be extended to allow fathers to build, maintain or strengthen ties with babies and very young children.</p>
<p>Current psychological research demonstrates that there is no competition between <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15379418.2018.1425105?scroll=top&needAccess=true">children’s attachment to the father and mother</a>. Instead, children are predisposed to build and enjoy multiple attachment bonds. Mothers are not necessarily, by nature, more sensitive and responsive to children than fathers. A key factor in the development of attachment bonds is the amount of time spent interacting with the child: the more the parent is engaged in the care of the infant and child, the more sensitive and responsive the parent becomes to the child’s signals.</p>
<p>A balance between work, family and personal life, allowing both parents to build a secure bond with their child, reinforces the application of Article 9-3 of the UNCRC. Since the children have established significant relationships with both parents, they must have a residential arrangement that allows them to maintain and preserve these relationships after divorce/separation.</p>
<h2>The consequences of residential arrangements on health and welfare</h2>
<p>Current research converges in the results on the consequences of different residential arrangements of children whose parents have separated. The large-scale studies conducted in recent years are enlightening.</p>
<p>Research from Sweden and other jurisdictions shows that <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/apa.14004?identityKey=59a01d32-9dad-45e3-9957-dea28f3554e2&wol1URL=%2Fdoi%2F10.1111%2Fapa.14004%2Ffull">young children (3-5 years old)</a> who live in equal shared parenting have a level of well-being equivalent to that of the children from intact families. Parents and teachers, on the other hand, note psychological problems in children living mainly with one parent. Identical results are shown with <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-13-868">teenagers aged 12-15</a>. These results are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4735678/">independent of the socio-cultural level of parents</a>. A study with <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12187-017-9443-1">5,000 teenagers aged 10-18</a> confirms and clarifies these results: neither children in equal shared parenting nor their parents are disadvantaged or hampered for changing frequently their place of residence. In Norway, <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10502556.2017.1402655">a study with more than 7,000 teenagers aged 16 to 19</a> does not show significant differences between teenagers living in equal shared parenting or nuclear families in terms of their physical health, their emotions and their social behaviour.</p>
<p>On the other hand, in all cases and on almost all indicators, children and teenagers living in a single parent residence are disadvantaged. This does not mean that only sole residence is the cause of this situation.</p>
<p>Studies conducted in the United States show that <a href="https://asu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/should-infants-and-toddlers-have-frequent-overnight-parenting-tim">these benefits are also valid for very young children, under three years.</a> Regardless of the level of conflict of the parents, their degree of study or income, the more the baby (1 year) or toddler (2 years) spent nights with his or her father, up to 50%, the more relationship with both his or her parents at the age of young adult (19 years) is healthy and balanced.</p>
<h2>The best interests of the child in the 21st century</h2>
<p>International organizations and national courts are focused on preserving the well-being and best interests of children. However, many constraints to child well-being persist, and keep infants, toddlers, children and teenagers within a mother-centred mode of care and education in post-divorce/separation families. These barriers work to the detriment of children, fathers and mothers.</p>
<p>The maternal deference standard is unfavourable to children, and seems contrary to article 2-2 of the UN CRC, which states that, “States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that the child is protected against all forms of discrimination or punishment on the basis of the status […] of the child’s parents.”</p>
<p>Parents’ and professionals’ reflections and decisions might be more relevant, if professional practices and legal judgments <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10502556.2018.1454196">prioritize the terms of residence that allow the child to have “personal relationships and contacts with both parents’ to the maximum degree possible</a>.</p>
<p>The concept of the "best interest of the child in the 21st century’ will be the focus of discussion and debate at the Fourth International Conference on Shared Parenting, to be held in Strasbourg, at the Palais de l’Europe, on 2018, November 22 and 23.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>All information about the program and the registrations are available at <a href="http://strasbourg2018.org/">strasbourg2018.org</a>.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/104277/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Michel Grangeat is a member of the Conseil International sur la Résidence Alternée (CIRA/ICSP). </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sofia Marinho is a reserch felow at Institute of Social Sciences, University of Lisbon. Her research work is sponsored by FCT- Portuguese Funding Agency for Science and Technology, by Grant SFRH/BPD/84273/2012.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Malin Bergström is a clinical psychologist for children.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sofia Marinho is a reserch felow at Institute of Social Sciences, University of Lisbon. Her research work is sponsored by FCT (Portuguese Funding Agency for Science and Technology) by grant SFRH/BPD/84273/2012. </span></em></p>Families in the 21st century have changed, making it necessary to rethink what has been “traditional” ways of sharing the custody of children.Michel Grangeat, Professeur Emérite de Sciences de l'Education, Université Grenoble Alpes (UGA)Edward Kruk, Associate Professor of Social Work, University of British ColumbiaMalin Bergström, Professor, Stockholm UniversitySofia Marinho, Research fellow, Universidade de Lisboa Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/806342017-07-11T01:10:24Z2017-07-11T01:10:24ZHow daughters can repair a damaged relationship with their divorced dad<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177612/original/file-20170710-1385-p0vx9i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">How can dads and daughters reconnect after a divorce?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/swedish-father-daughter-sitting-on-sofa-415425583?src=5ITu_18U2wn4gBYurQD_lw-1-34">Marie Linner/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>In a 2002 study involving nearly 2,500 children, researchers found that <a href="http://books.wwnorton.com/books/For-Better-or-For-Worse/">daughters’ relationships with their fathers were more damaged</a> than sons’. What’s more, estranged daughters are more likely than estranged sons to suffer <a href="http://www.resolution-services.com/images/Divorced_Fathers_and_Their_Daughters_-_A_Review_of_Recent_Research.pdf#page=3">negative effects</a> from the damaged relationship.</p>
<p>If you’re like <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Father-Daughter-Relationships-Contemporary-Research-and-Issues/Nielsen/p/book/9781848729346">most daughters with divorced parents</a>, you probably feel as though your parents’ divorce damaged your relationship with your father, there are things you want to ask him about the divorce but haven’t or you want to contact him but just don’t know what to say or do.</p>
<p>As a professor, researcher and writer, <a href="http://users.wfu.edu/nielsen/">I’ve studied father-daughter relationships extensively</a>. Having taught and advised young adult daughters for more than 30 years, I’ve seen how difficult it can be for estranged daughters to reconnect with their divorced dads.</p>
<p>So how can you repair the damage or strengthen an uncomfortable relationship?</p>
<p>Here is <a href="http://www.turnerpublishing.com/books/detail/between-fathers-and-daughters">what I’ve learned</a> that has helped almost every daughter I’ve worked with to renew, repair and reconnect with her father – even those who haven’t spoken to their fathers for years.</p>
<h2>Obstacles divorced dads face</h2>
<p>If you were a child at the time your parents divorced, you probably were unaware of a lot of the obstacles your dad was up against in trying to maintain a close relationship with you. In fact, in a 2002 survey of 72 family lawyers, 60 percent agreed that the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2002.00325.x">legal system is biased against fathers</a>.</p>
<p>If you want to repair your relationship with your dad, try traveling back in time, putting aside how you felt, and imagining yourself in your father’s place.</p>
<p>Now that you’re older and more mature, it’s time to ask yourself: How could my relationship with my father have been better if my mother, my teachers and the legal system had all actively worked to keep him involved in my life and to make him feel welcomed and appreciated? Considering what he probably went through, can I be more compassionate and forgiving?</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177597/original/file-20170710-5963-1rmsf3y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Deadbeat dads like Jeffery Nichols – who was jailed in 1995 after racking up more than US$640,000 in unpaid child support – have given fathers in custody battles a bad name.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/AP-A-NY-NY110-PM-FILE-DEADBEAT-DAD/e75e06efc7e0da11af9f0014c2589dfb/5/0">AP Photo/Joe Tabacca</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Misconceptions about divorced dads</h2>
<p>Americans have developed a lot of <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J087v31n03_08">ideas about divorced fathers</a>. These ideas can influence what we think of friends, family members and co-workers. They can also affect the relationship that daughters have with their divorced dads.</p>
<p>What did you think about these stereotypes before your parents separated? After? Reexamine your own beliefs about divorced fathers and consider how they might have negatively affected your relationship with your dad.</p>
<p>How many stereotypes about divorced dads do you think are true? The more negative assumptions you make about divorced men, the <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J087v31n03_08">more difficult it is</a> for you and your dad to stay bonded.</p>
<h2>Mom’s influence</h2>
<p>Even though she may never come right out and say negative things to you about your dad, your mother can still give you <a href="http://www.resolution-services.com/images/Divorced_Fathers_and_Their_Daughters_-_A_Review_of_Recent_Research.pdf#page=6">a negative impression</a> of him in other ways – the expressions on her face, her tone of voice, the way she acts after she’s talked to him or when you’re going to spend time with him.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this happens to <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Father-Daughter-Relationships-Contemporary-Research-and-Issues/Nielsen/p/book/9781848729346">millions of daughters</a> – especially when dad has remarried but mom is still single.</p>
<p>The more often your mother implied that your father was to blame or is an inferior person/parent, the more difficult it can be for you to have an open mind when it comes to dad.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177613/original/file-20170710-25758-151g764.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Mothers can give their daughters negative impressions of their divorced dads – sometimes without even trying.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/happy-mother-teenage-daughter-resting-park-668709043?src=G2EMRUcvv5LCwuFqEyEJDQ-1-47">Ganna Martsheva/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Why are you afraid?</h2>
<p>I’ve found that the best way to reconsider your impressions of your father is to reach out to him and hear about his perspectives, feelings and experiences. After all, if your mother was awarded custody, she likely had ample opportunity to share her feelings and experiences with you. Why would you deny your dad the same opportunity?</p>
<p>Most daughters tell me that the reason they haven’t contacted their father or the reason they won’t talk to him about certain divorce-related issues is that they’re afraid.</p>
<p>What are you afraid of? Angering your mother? Being rejected? How likely is it those fears would come true? If they did, would you feel worse than you do now with a strained or uncomfortable relationship with your dad?</p>
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<p>In answering these questions, you might find that your fears are exaggerated and are unlikely to occur. You might also realize that even if the worst did happen, it is not as damaging to you in the long run as never having tried to improve your relationship with your dad.</p>
<h2>Reach out</h2>
<p>If you don’t know what to say to your father because you haven’t seen one another in a long time, try sending him something like this:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Dad, It’s taken me a long time to get up the nerve to write you. I don’t know exactly how to start or what to say, except that I’d like us to be in touch again. I don’t want money and nobody has put me up to writing this. I just want us to have a relationship again. Could we maybe start to write or phone? I’ve enclosed a picture of me. I wish you’d send me one of you. Well, that’s about it for now.</p>
</blockquote>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/177622/original/file-20170710-5970-lc5f07.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Gathering the courage to reach out can be an important first step in repairing a father-daughter relationship strained by divorce.</span>
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<h2>Will it be worth it?</h2>
<p>If you decide to follow this advice, will it be worth it? According to <a href="http://www.turnerpublishing.com/books/detail/between-fathers-and-daughters">most of the daughters I’ve worked with</a> over the past decades, yes. Here’s what some of them have to say:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Amanda: “Problems in my family are never discussed or explained – just ignored. Now, 10 years after my parents’ divorce, because I’m finally asking my dad to tell me about his experiences, I’m learning what led to the breakup of our family. And I’ve found the father who had been taken away from me.”</p>
<p>Pam: “He said that the saddest experience of his life was losing me after the divorce. He said it again and again. I had no idea what an impact I’d had on him. I realize that he and I have wanted the same thing from each other all these years. But we never knew because we didn’t talk honestly enough.”</p>
<p>Lynn: “It had been 5 years since I’d seen my dad. I never thought I’d get any response if I tried to contact him. When I sent him the letter, he immediately emailed back. I’m constantly amazed at his willingness to spend time with me now. He said my contacting him was the best gift I had ever given him. I always had this vision of him as some opinionated, overbearing, stubborn tyrant. I never thought he would admit his mistakes, as he has done. I feel loved.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>These are just a handful of the hundreds of positive responses I’ve heard over the last 30 years. Though not all fathers and daughters face damaged relationships, for those who do, the effort to repair those relationships is well worth it.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/80634/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Linda Nielsen does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Daughters across the US feel like their relationship with their father was damaged by their parents’ divorce. Here are steps daughters can take to repair that relationship.Linda Nielsen, Professor of Education, Wake Forest UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/702432016-12-20T16:45:52Z2016-12-20T16:45:52ZHalf a century of homelessness in the UK – here’s what has changed<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/151008/original/image-20161220-26748-1orkyhi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption"></span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">from www.shutterstock.com</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Injury, unemployment, eviction, squats, shelters, social services – homelessness. This is the desperate spiral depicted in Ken Loach’s influential film, <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b007492r">Cathy Come Home</a>. First aired 50 years ago, the drama offers a graphic portrayal of the treatment of an ordinary family by public authorities, as they grapple with homelessness. </p>
<p>Reflecting the public outrage at the film’s revelations, the pressure group <a href="http://www.shelterat50.org.uk/#/130/shelter-at-50">Shelter</a> was founded to raise awareness and campaign for reform. The same year saw the publication of one of the only government-sponsored surveys of homelessness in England, by the National Assistance Board (NAB).</p>
<p>On the 50th anniversary of these three landmark events, it’s time to ask whether Cathy and her family would suffer the same tragedies today. </p>
<h2>The first count</h2>
<p>We’re not shown what happens to Cathy after her children are taken by social services. In all likelihood, she would have joined the 965 people sleeping rough, which the NAB found in their one-night head count on December 6, 1965, of which only 45 were women. </p>
<p>She could have become one of the 1,367 unaccommodated claimants of National Assistance, the precursor to our Jobseekers Allowance. That meagre provision might then have afforded her the occasional bed in one of the 567 commercial or charitable hostels and lodging houses, which housed 28,789 inhabitants, of which just 1,905 were women. </p>
<p>Free, public sector accommodation was limited to the NAB’s own reception centres – a relic from the Victorian era’s <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/history/shp/britishsociety/thepoorrev1.shtml">Poor Law workhouses</a> – which housed 1,956 men at the time of the count.</p>
<p>After computing these figures, the survey estimated that there were about 13,500 single homeless people in December 1965, the vast majority of whom would have been men.</p>
<h2>Ten years on</h2>
<p>Cathy might have fared better a decade later. Tireless campaigning by Shelter and other charities finally bore fruit, in the form of the <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1977/48/enacted">1977 Housing (Homeless Persons) Act</a>. The act is unique among Western states, because it <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14616718.2016.1230962">makes housing a statutory right</a> for certain people. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/homelessness-code-of-guidance-for-councils-july-2006">The law</a> obliges local authorities to provide permanent housing to families who are judged to be “unintentionally homeless” (or threatened with homelessness) and belong to a “priority need group”. These include families with dependent children or pregnant women. </p>
<p>So, Cathy would have had housing rights up to the point where her children were removed by social services, although she would still need to prove that she had not become homeless “intentionally”, by being evicted from a private tenancy for failing to keep up rent payments. Despite several re-enactments, these laws have withstood Thatcherism, and today remain in more or less their original form.</p>
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<p>Yet any expectations that the act has worked to eliminate homelessness today must be quickly disappointed. The methods used by the NAB to count homelessness have changed over time, which makes comparisons tricky. But <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/rough-sleeping-in-england-autumn-2015">figures released</a> by the Department for Communities and Local Government, based on nightly head counts undertaken in the autumn of 2015, revealed 3,569 rough sleepers. This is double the number recorded in 2010, and nearly five times the figure quoted 50 years ago. </p>
<p>Services have not expanded to cope. The NAB counted 34,596 available places in hostel accommodation in 1966. The charity <a href="http://www.homeless.org.uk/facts/our-research/annual-review-of-single-homelessness-support-in-england">Homeless Link</a> recorded 36,540 in 2014. </p>
<p>Would Cathy still lose her children for being homeless in 2016? <a href="http://www.insidehousing.co.uk/policy/health-and-care/homelessness/one-in-three-councils-took-children-into-care-due-to-homelessness/7017718.article?">An investigation</a> for Inside Housing revealed that 35 of the 106 councils that responded to their survey had taken at least one child into care during 2014/15, where the main reason was homelessness. This tells us that a third of councils are still pursuing this practice, 50 years after Cathy and nearly 40 years after legislation was supposed to make it unnecessary.</p>
<h2>Ray of hope</h2>
<p>Amid this darkening outlook, some hope rests with the <a href="https://www.parliament.uk/documents/commons-committees/communities-and-local-government/Homelessness-Reduction-Bill.pdf">Homelessness Reduction Bill</a>, which is currently being debated in parliament. As it stands, the bill will oblige local authorities to assist all homeless people by assessing their situation, helping to prevent their homelessness where possible, or providing temporary accommodation for up to 56 days. </p>
<p>It also addresses the <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/statistical-data-sets/live-tables-on-homelessness">most rapidly increasing trigger</a> of homelessness: the shorthold tenancy. When a shorthold tenancy comes to an end – usually after a period of six months – the landlord can evict the tenant without any legal reason. The new bill requires that local authorities treat households as “threatened with homelessness”, as soon as an eviction notice is served. This means people like Cathy won’t have to wait for the bailiffs to arrive before help is available.</p>
<p>If the NAB enumerators were to repeat their survey today, they would be struck by how little has changed. Some comparisons are possible using <a href="https://files.datapress.com/london/dataset/chain-reports/2016-06-29T11:14:50/Greater%20London%20full%202015-16.pdf">data on rough sleepers</a> compiled by the Mayor of London’s office. Compared with 50 years ago, today’s rough sleeping population is younger, more female and more vulnerable. It has a greater proportion of foreign nationals, and as we have seen, it is larger and growing by the year. </p>
<p>But unaffordable and insecure tenancies remain the primary reason that people are left without accommodation. The proposed legislation offers some hope, but it’s provisions are essentially reactive – until politicians address the underlying causes, people like Cathy will continue to struggle.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/70243/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Graham Bowpitt is a Reader in Social Policy at Nottingham Trent University. As part of his work, he receives funding from Framework Housing Association for the evaluation of Opportunity Nottingham, a project supporting adults with multiple needs. He is also a member of the Board of Trustees for the Emmanuel House Support Centre, serving single homeless people in Nottingham.</span></em></p>In 1966, the BBC drama Cathy Come Home radically changed the way society thinks about homelessness. So how would Cathy fare today?Graham Bowpitt, Reader in Social Policy, Nottingham Trent UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/586412016-06-01T04:10:50Z2016-06-01T04:10:50ZNo simple solution when families meet the law<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/124279/original/image-20160527-888-1u40ec1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Families going through breakdown need understanding, but so do lawmakers trying to find fair outcomes from complex laws.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>CHANGING FAMILIES: In this <a href="https://theconversation.com/au/topics/changing-families">ten-part series</a>, we examine some major changes in family and relationships, and how that might in turn reshape law, policy and our idea of ourselves.</em></p>
<hr>
<p>It has often been said that when Australia’s white Anglo-Saxon founding fathers drafted the Constitution in 1901, they could not have foreseen how family constellations would change over the next century and how family law would (or would not) keep abreast of those changes.</p>
<p>We now have many different types of families. We have families with and without children, single parents and blended or step families. We have heterosexual and same-sex de facto couples; separated, divorced and widowed couples. We also have families with children born through assisted reproductive technology or altruistically “acquired” through surrogacy, adoption or foster care.</p>
<p>All these are well depicted in popular culture including a plethora of television shows dating back to [Batman and his ward Robin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman_(TV_series), and the ever-happy blended <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brady_Bunch">Brady Bunch</a> through to the contemporary <a href="http://www.tv.com/shows/how-i-met-your-mother/">How I Met Your Mother</a> and comic <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/modern-family">Modern Family</a>.</p>
<p>The truth is, however, that the Old and New Testaments hold numerous examples of precursors to the traditional nuclear family of a father, mother and two children. </p>
<p>Adam and Eve had two sons and then one son killed his brother, transforming their dynamic to a one-child family. Moses was abandoned and raised by strangers. Rachel could not conceive and added a child to her family through a surrogate. Ruth and Naomi were both widowed and childless but made a life together. Jesus Christ was a product of an immaculate conception and brought up by foster parents.</p>
<p>Given these examples, it has taken millennia for the law to catch up.</p>
<h2>The complex web of family law</h2>
<p>In Australia’s family law system, each of these configurations is regulated by co-existing and sometimes conflicting legislation. The <a href="http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/">Family Law Act</a> was only the second significant piece of family law legislation enacted since the Constitution that endowed the federal parliament with powers to legislate about divorce and matrimonial matters.</p>
<p>However, many family law areas come under both federal and state laws, or state laws alone.</p>
<p>A good example of the overlap is the area of child welfare and child protection. Australia’s family law courts (namely the Family Court and the Federal Circuit Court) are specialist federal courts. Their job is to determine with whom a child should live, how much time a child spends with the other parent, and other issues about the child’s long-term welfare.</p>
<p>But child protection and welfare cases are also heard in state courts under state laws involving state-mandated child protection agencies. So, one family can find itself embroiled at once in lengthy, expensive and emotionally taxing proceedings in different courts with different jurisdictions.</p>
<p>Each of these state and federal courts houses discrete hierarchies exercising different powers and applying different tests to determine the “best interests of the child”.</p>
<p>Judicial discretion is not unfettered and each piece of relevant legislation provides some guidance and predictability. But as former High Court justice Michael Kirby <a href="http://www.hcourt.gov.au/assets/publications/speeches/former-justices/kirbyj/kirbyj_charles.htm">once opined</a>, decision-making is: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>… a complex function combining logic and emotion, rational application of intelligence and reason, intuitive responses to experience.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Not only are decision-makers influenced by their own views and experiences, they are informed and influenced by a burgeoning body of research in many fields of social and medical sciences. It is increasingly difficult to navigate through the vast oceans of research material available and to differentiate between “good” and “bad” research.</p>
<p>For example, in the early history of the Family Law Act in the 1970s, the Family Court often applied the “tender years” and “maternal preference” presumptions. </p>
<p>These deemed it preferable for young children up to the age of seven years to live with their mothers upon the break-up of the traditional heterosexual nuclear family. They were not prescribed by the statute itself, but rather a vestige of judicial attitudes that decided custody cases before the Family Law Act was introduced with its specialist Family Court.</p>
<h2>Changing attitudes to family violence</h2>
<p>Another example of the shift in judicial and community attitudes relates to the relevance of family violence in parenting cases. Historically, family law courts quarantined family violence as unrelated to parenting capacity and child welfare. A man could be “<a href="http://lawfam.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2015/10/08/lawfam.ebv012.abstract">a violent husband but a good father</a>”. </p>
<p>This attitude did not shift substantially until the 1990s, when both society and the courts started to recognise that witnessing family violence could cause long-term damage to children. </p>
<p>Another issue is whether our adversarial system of intra-family dispute resolution (another legacy of the Commonwealth) is suitable to multicultural Australia. Certainly alternative forms of dispute resolution, such as counselling and mediation, may assist. But, often, decisions supposedly reached by the disputing parties themselves are made after “<a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/795824?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents">bargaining in the shadow of the law</a>” or in the shadow of gendered or culturally specific beliefs and practices. </p>
<p>Also, if a resolution is not reached or is not honoured and complied with, a decision needs to be made and imposed by a third party. Under our system, that third party is a judge, but the question again arises as to how judicial discretion is exercised.</p>
<p>Family law is a complex area without simple solutions. There are many participants and stakeholders, not least of whom are the adults and children involved. </p>
<p>We need to be sensitive to their needs and best interests. We also need to be respectful of those who are the decision-makers, while at the same time continuing to scrutinise and review the decision-making processes to ensure a just system.</p>
<hr>
<p><strong><em>Read the other instalments in the Changing Families series <a href="https://theconversation.com/au/topics/changing-families">here</a>.</em></strong></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/58641/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Renata Alexander does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Adding to the trauma of a relationship breaking down, families can find themselves caught in a tangle of state and commonwealth laws.Renata Alexander, Senior Lecturer in Law, Monash UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/336202014-11-12T10:38:38Z2014-11-12T10:38:38ZChild custody - parental rights vs the child’s best interest<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/64307/original/mmk9sjpr-1415739303.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">How can parents who no longer live together continue to raise their children?</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">via www.shutterstock.com</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The November 2014 elections included a North Dakota voter initiative emblematic of the vigorous debate taking place nationwide about child custody.</p>
<p>The “Parental Rights Initiative” required courts to award “equal parenting time” to both parents after divorce or separation. The <a href="http://knowledgecenter.csg.org/kc/content/north-dakota-defeats-parental-rights-ballot-initiative-measure">measure</a> was defeated by a sizeable margin (62% to 38%) but it represents only the latest round in a combustible campaign to change how child custody cases are decided.</p>
<h2>A history of child custody (in a nutshell)</h2>
<p>Colonial Americans followed the English common law rule that upon divorce the father retained custody of his children. Fathers had the right to the physical custody, labor and earnings of their children in exchange for supporting, educating, and training them to earn their own livelihoods or, in the case of girls, marry a man who would support them.</p>
<p>Colonial mothers, though deemed worthy of honor and deference, were not endowed with legally enforceable parental rights. </p>
<p>This paternal preference continued well into the 19th century. In fact, the 1848 <a href="http://www.npg.si.edu/col/seneca/senfalls1.htm">Women’s Rights Convention in Seneca Falls</a> – the first women’s rights convention – listed the fathers’ automatic custody rule among its principal complaints. But women began gaining the upper hand as our legal system dealt with two cultural transformations: the industrial revolution’s remaking men into marketplace wage earners and the emergence of a “separate sphere” for women as domestic caregivers. </p>
<p>By the early 20th century, motherhood had attained near-mythical status. Under the “<a href="http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Tender+Years+Doctrine">tender years” presumption</a>, custody of young children was almost exclusively awarded to mothers upon divorce. </p>
<p>It took a social revolution to unseat the tender years doctrine and replace it with gender-neutral custody standards. </p>
<p>Mounting divorce rates in the 1960s and ensuing decades provoked a lively debate about parental roles and custody issues. The movement for gender equality, along with the rise of fathers’ rights groups, called attention to the importance of both parents in the care of children at the same time as loosening the link between gender and parental roles. </p>
<p>The end of formal rules dictating a result favoring one parent over the other led to the adoption of a more inclusive but less definitive standard of deciding custody cases based on the “best interests of the child.” This standard opened up the possibility of excessive judicial discretion as well as a threat of inconsistency in the results, resulting in hotly contested custody battles.</p>
<h2>From the rule of one to the sharing of custody</h2>
<p>No matter how child custody was determined, one rule continued to be ironclad: custody was indivisible. After a marital breakup, only one parent could properly raise the children, with the other parent entitled merely to visiting rights. Until the late 20th century, courts regularly refused to allow divorcing parents to share custody. The dominant view was that after divorce a child needed the full time stability of a home run by one parent. </p>
<p>The greater social and legal acceptance of shared custody in recent decades came about when parents began shouldering more equal parenting responsibilities. State legislatures, courts, and parents themselves began to value the opportunity for a child to continue a strong and meaningful relationship with both parents. The new approach sought to avoid treating one parent as merely a visitor, and to reduce the trauma of marital dissolution for children. Sharing custody also became a way to circumvent the brutal dynamics of adversarial child custody litigation.</p>
<p>An important <a href="http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs13524-014-0307-8">2014 study</a> shows that child custody norms are significantly changing in the 21st century, with the proportion of parents sharing custody rising dramatically. In fact, we reached a major milestone in the past decade: for the first time since the mid-19th century, custodial arrangements that did <em>not</em> provide sole custody to mothers constituted a majority. </p>
<p>The vocabulary of child custody is also adapting to shared parenting. </p>
<p>“Decision making” and “parenting time” are replacing “legal custody” and “physical custody.” The modern terms reflect a cultural pivot toward mutual child rearing responsibilities rather than declaring a winner and a loser. On balance, then, it appears that our society has adapted the best-interest-of-the-child standard to provide some variant of shared custody. In custody cases today, both parents increasingly enjoy significant, though not necessarily equal, amounts of parenting time. </p>
<h2>The problem with presumptions, and a better alternative</h2>
<p>Legally enforceable presumptions, such as the one proposed and rejected in North Dakota or <a href="https://www.revisor.mn.gov/bills/text.php?number=HF322&version=0&session_year=2011&session_number=0.">the one</a> that the Governor of Minnesota vetoed in 2012, are problematic. An equal parenting presumption shifts the starting point for a custody determination from the child’s best interests to how the parents will divide the 168 hours in a week so that each parent handles half the child rearing. </p>
<p>A 50/50 presumption alters the critical issue from what’s best for the child to how we can treat the parents equally. That’s not the same question at all. A legal presumption of equal parenting time effectively converts the current focus on the child’s welfare to a best-interests-of-the-parents standard. </p>
<p>There is another alternative, better than having a judge decide the child’s best interests and far better than a legal presumption. </p>
<p>In the past few years, separating and divorcing parents have begun taking matters into their own hands by crafting “parenting plans” for their children. These blueprints for post-divorce child rearing allocate parenting time and decision-making authority for each child, depending on the child’s particular needs and circumstances. A good parenting plan also sets out dispute resolution options (such as mediation or a parenting coordinator) for the inevitable time when the parents will face unanticipated child rearing problems. </p>
<p>Many states - <a href="http://www.azleg.state.az.us/ars/25/00403-02.htm">Arizona</a> is a leader on the issue - are redefining the issue of parenting after divorce from a demand for custody by one parent to a requirement that both parents work together to create a <a href="http://www.azcourts.gov/portals/31/parentingTime/PPWguidelines.pdf">“parenting plan.”</a> These plans further the public policy goal that children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents, and that both share in the responsibilities of raising their children.</p>
<p>Parenting plans may be crafted from scratch, or they may be customized from a menu of templates and sample plans available from court or private organization websites. Parents often negotiate these plans by themselves, with the help of a mediator, or through counsel. The plans should be flexible but fairly detailed, describing each parent’s area of responsibility in providing for the child’s residential and physical care as well as emotional well being, both at the time the plan goes into effect and as the child ages and matures. </p>
<p>Unlike a court custody order, a parenting plan can include mechanisms to adjust to children’s developmental changes as they age and to other significant family transformations. </p>
<p>Parenting plans are homemade custody resolutions, and courts remain a last resort for deciding contested custody cases. But the parenting plan movement is providing approaches towards sharing custody more in keeping with child development research and less likely to lead to further damaging litigation. </p>
<p>The failed North Dakota “equal parenting time” initiative sought a rigid resolution of the most sensitive issue after divorce: how can parents who no longer live together continue to raise their children. </p>
<p>Our society is gradually adopting shared parenting by choice, not by mathematical formula. We should encourage the movement toward parenting plans rather than legal briefs, mediation rather than litigation, and sharing the parenting rather than dividing the child.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/33620/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>J Herbie DiFonzo does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>The November 2014 elections included a North Dakota voter initiative emblematic of the vigorous debate taking place nationwide about child custody. The “Parental Rights Initiative” required courts to award…J Herbie DiFonzo, Professor of Law, Hofstra UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.