tag:theconversation.com,2011:/ca/topics/gift-giving-23368/articles
Gift giving – The Conversation
2023-12-14T21:26:41Z
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/219380
2023-12-14T21:26:41Z
2023-12-14T21:26:41Z
4 strategies to keep you from overspending this holiday season
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565624/original/file-20231213-19-6iuxfv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=35%2C35%2C5955%2C3952&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">High prices for groceries, housing and entertainment are leaving shoppers with reduced funds as the holiday season descends upon us.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The urge to spend money is present all year round, but during the gift-giving season, the temptation to splurge on loved ones can be particularly strong. For many, the desire to be generous during the holidays clashes with the need to conserve funds for essential expenses.</p>
<p>This year, money is tighter than ever, with <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/231121/dq231121a-eng.htm?indid=3665-1&indgeo=0">high prices for groceries, housing and entertainment</a> leaving shoppers with reduced funds as the holiday season descends upon us. </p>
<p>A growing number of individuals are feeling the financial squeeze, with 40 per cent of Canadians <a href="https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/financial-stress-is-impacting-the-mental-health-of-canadians-survey-1.1933491">citing money as their main source of stress</a>. <a href="https://newsroom.bmo.com/2023-11-08-78-Per-Cent-of-Canadians-Plan-to-Cut-Back-on-Holiday-Spending,-but-a-Third-Will-Still-Give-Back-to-Charitable-Causes-BMO-Survey">Seventy-eight per cent of Canadians</a> plan on buying fewer gifts this holiday season and 37 per cent are worried they won’t be able to afford all the items on their holiday shopping lists.</p>
<p>Given that <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.790434">pricier gifts are not necessarily more appreciated by the person receiving the gift</a>, what are some ways shoppers can resist the temptation of appealing, yet expensive, gift options that might strain their finances?</p>
<p>As a social psychologist who studies personal spending, I think it is worthwhile to remind ourselves of self-control strategies that can help us manage financial decisions during the holiday season. </p>
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<img alt="A man in a red shirt sitting with his head in his hand at a table covered in paperwork. A Christmas tree is visible in the background." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565626/original/file-20231213-29-szas63.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">The holidays should be about joy, not financial stress.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<h2>Strategies for resisting temptation</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691615623">Self-control is not just suppressing temptation</a>; it also involves setting yourself up for success by creating situations that make resisting temptations easier. </p>
<p><strong>1. Avoid temptations</strong> </p>
<p>Perhaps the most obvious strategy is to avoid shopping temptations. This may include steering clear of places — both physical and online — that are out of your budget range. While this is easier said than done during gift shopping, it’s an effective way to manage temptations: People who report having an easier time with self-control <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.09.031">tend to avoid rather than resist temptations</a>.</p>
<p><strong>2. Make a budget</strong></p>
<p>If you haven’t sat down to make a holiday budget yet, it’s never too late to make one. Considering one-quarter of Canadians are <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/10087745/canadian-holiday-spending-debt/">still paying off last year’s holiday debts</a>, being as fiscally responsible as possible is a wise choice this year. </p>
<p>Setting spending limits ahead of time makes your financial goals clear and explicit. When setting budgets for gifts <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucad011?">people tend to spend the entirety of the estimated amount (unlike budgets for personal purchases where they try to come in under the budget)</a>. It’s good to be realistic, rather than optimistic, when setting budgets.</p>
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<img alt="People walk down a cobble-lined street lined by vendor booths" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=403&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=403&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=403&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=507&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=507&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565880/original/file-20231214-23-mh3bd2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=507&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Shoppers browse vendor booths at the Christmas Market in Toronto’s Distillery District in December 2022.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p><strong>3. Implementation intentions</strong></p>
<p>Anticipate any potential shopping temptations you are likely to encounter so you can develop strategies to resist them. One effective approach is <a href="https://kops.uni-konstanz.de/server/api/core/bitstreams/14cc2a36-5f01-4dc1-b9ca-f2d0ca0c8930/content">forming intentions</a> about how you will act once you encounter a temptation. </p>
<p>For example, you might consider what you will do when you see a gadget your friend would enjoy when you have already bought them something and have reached the limit of your budget. Instead of purchasing it and exceeding your budget, you could write down the gadget for next year’s gift.</p>
<p><strong>4. Write a list</strong></p>
<p>Finally, thinking ahead to the gifts you plan to buy and writing a shopping list rather than relying on being inspired in the store might help with sticking to a budget. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s11747-019-00670-w">Consumers spend thousands each year on impulse purchases</a>. Writing shopping lists, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/cb.1812">even for online shopping</a>, can reduce overall spending and shopping regret. </p>
<h2>The best strategy is the one that works</h2>
<p>The holidays should be about joy, not financial stress. Maintaining self-control allows you to celebrate without compromising your financial well-being.</p>
<p>There are of course many strategies beyond the four strategies listed here that can help create situations where resisting temptations is easier. The most effective strategies for maintaining financial self-control <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2021.104189">are the ones you are already using</a>, and the ones <em>you</em> find most effective. If you want to avoid giving in to shopping temptations, take a moment to think about the financial strategies you are already using and think about how you might use them in your holiday shopping. </p>
<p>If you haven’t yet found a strategy that works for you, now is a great opportunity for you to try some out and see which ones are effective. Using strategies to manage the cost of holiday spending can prevent gift-giving from becoming a financial stressor in an already stressful time.</p>
<p>Finally, while adhering to a budget is important, it shouldn’t be the sole or primary focus during holiday shopping. Keep in mind that the true spirit of the season is spending quality time with loved ones. The joy of the holidays doesn’t come from extravagant gifts, but from shared moments and meaningful connections.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/219380/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Johanna Peetz receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada and the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada. </span></em></p>
There are a number of ways shoppers can resist the temptation of expensive gift options that might strain their budgets this holiday season.
Johanna Peetz, Professor in Psychology, Carleton University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/218802
2023-12-13T01:25:02Z
2023-12-13T01:25:02Z
20 people, 2.4 quintillion possibilities: the baffling statistics of Secret Santa
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565106/original/file-20231212-29-ba551n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=87%2C21%2C7196%2C4739&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/secret-santa-smiling-man-unpacks-christmas-2378052273">Harbucks / Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Christmas, we’re told, is the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN_R4pR1hck&ab_channel=AndyWilliamsVEVO">most wonderful time of the year</a>. For many of us, however, it is preceded by one of the least wonderful times: the awkward social spectacle of the office <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Santa">Secret Santa</a> or Kris Kringle, where employees agree to purchase a gift for a randomly allocated colleague.</p>
<p>As you watch your co-workers unwrap their often wildly inappropriate gifts, each chosen by a office mate they barely know, cast your mind to the sheer statistical improbability of what you’re seeing. The odds of such a combination of these cheaply re-gifted photograph frames, inexplicably scented candles or unwanted <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2020/12/25/how-do-the-makers-of-lynx-feel-about-being-a-christmas-meme-13776264/">Lynx Africa gift sets</a> being passed around your office is, in its own way, truly a Christmas miracle.</p>
<h2>The 12! ways of Christmas?</h2>
<p>To work out how many possible pairings of buyers and recipients there are, you need to calculate the <a href="https://brilliant.org/wiki/permutations/">number of permutations</a> of the people involved.</p>
<p>Consider a workplace with four employees. If there is no rule to prevent people selecting their own names, there are four people who could be selected to buy the first person’s gift. </p>
<p>Once this is decided, there are three remaining choices for the second person, then two choices for the third person. Finally, there is one choice for the last person’s workplace Santa.</p>
<p>This means there are 4 × 3 × 2 × 1 = 24 possible permutations. Mathematicians write this as 4!, which is pronounced “four factorial”.</p>
<p><iframe id="tc-infographic-1006" class="tc-infographic" height="400px" src="https://cdn.theconversation.com/infographics/1006/695db8d722e320a72096762eabdfe31099bb09c6/site/index.html" width="100%" style="border: none" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>However, factorials soon get out of hand. Spare a thought for poor Santa himself. With <a href="https://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2019/12/in-a-word-eight-er-nine-tiny-reindeer/">nine reindeer</a>, there are 9! = 362,880 ways these could be arranged, although perhaps <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolph_the_Red-Nosed_Reindeer">on one foggy Christmas Eve</a>, this number is reduced by the requirement to have a red nose leading his sleigh.</p>
<p>Once the office workforce swells to 20, there are more than 2.4 quintillion permutations. To put this mind-boggling 20! figure into context, that’s more than three times current estimates of <a href="https://www.oklahoman.com/story/lifestyle/2019/02/05/more-stars-than-grains-of-sand-on-earth-you-bet/60474645007/">the number of grains of sand on Earth</a>.</p>
<h2>Yule buy for someone else</h2>
<p>Of course, nobody wants to draw themselves in a Secret Santa.</p>
<p>What a Secret Santa really wants is not a permutation of all employees, but instead what mathematicians call a <a href="https://brilliant.org/wiki/derangements/">derangement</a>. This is simply a permutation where no element remains in its original position, which means no employee has to buy their own gift.</p>
<p>The calculation is <a href="https://cs.uwaterloo.ca/journals/JIS/VOL23/Hassani/hassani5.pdf">far from simple</a>, but the number of ways <em>n</em> employees can be assigned another unique co-worker is called the <em>n</em> th <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0096300322004155">de Montmort number</a>.</p>
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<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-mathematics-of-christmas-a-review-of-the-indisputable-existence-of-santa-claus-88508">The mathematics of Christmas: A review of the Indisputable Existence of Santa Claus</a>
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<p>Amazingly, this is equal to <em>n</em>!/<em>e</em> , rounded to the nearest whole number. The <em>e</em> here is one of the most famous numbers in mathematics, <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/terms/e/eulers-constant.asp">Euler’s number, approximately equal to 2.71828</a>, and the bane of anyone whose schooldays involved logarithm tables.</p>
<p>In the 24 permutations of four employees illustrated, there are 9 derangements, which is equal to 24/<em>e</em> rounded to the nearest whole number. For large numbers, approximately 63.2% of possible permutations are not derangements and so would be excluded.</p>
<p>For a 20-employee situation, this cuts the over 2.4 quintillion permutations to a mere 895 quadrillion or so. (This is still more than 100 million times the current global population.)</p>
<h2>Uniquely self-Santa-ed?</h2>
<p>Another surprising feature of a Secret Santa arises from the number of people who will, on average, be assigned their own name in a random draw.
It doesn’t matter if you have one person (although that is a terribly un-secret and desperately sad Secret Santa) or a billion people, the expected number of people to be allocated to buy their own gift is the same – just one person.</p>
<p>A full proof is a little more complicated than this, but think what happens if you double the number of employees. With twice as many gifts to buy, everybody’s chance of selecting themselves is halved. Twice as many people, each with half the chance of matching, then gives an unchanged average.</p>
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<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-play-and-win-the-gift-stealing-game-bad-santa-according-to-a-mathematician-196483">How to play and win the gift-stealing game Bad Santa, according to a mathematician</a>
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<p>For example, of the 24 permutations of four people illustrated, one involves four self-matches, none involve three self-matches, six involve two self matches and eight involve a single self-match. In total, this gives 24 possible self-matches in the 24 permutations, so an average of one each.</p>
<h2>Ho Ho Hope for the best</h2>
<p>If you do find yourself trapped in the dystopian office whodunit of guessing which of your co-workers gifted a <a href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/australia-firefighters-pose-with-cute-animals-for-sexy-2024-calendar/">hunky shirtless firefighter calendar</a> to an elderly colleague from human resources, at least hope that the one-in-a-billion or one-in-trillion permutation that was drawn in your office lands you something useful.</p>
<p>Mariah Carey may have <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_I_Want_for_Christmas_Is_You">assured us of more specific requests</a>, but all I want for Christmas is avoid getting dragged into a workplace Secret Santa in the first place.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.historyextra.com/period/victorian/why-we-say-bah-humbug-christmas-carol-scrooge-dickens-what-mean/">Bah humbug</a> indeed.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218802/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Stephen Woodcock does not receive funding from Santa Claus or any other relevant external party. He has remained off Santa's Naughty List for over 40 years.</span></em></p>
The annual ritual of buying a gift for a random recipient opens a window onto some fascinating mathematics.
Stephen Woodcock, Associate Professor of Mathematical Sciences, University of Technology Sydney
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/219468
2023-12-12T13:22:51Z
2023-12-12T13:22:51Z
What’s the point of giving gifts? An anthropologist explains this ancient part of being human
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565029/original/file-20231211-15-9n4yrx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=1493%2C0%2C5964%2C4110&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Gifts are usually given reciprocally.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/woman-giving-her-boyfriend-a-wrapped-christmas-gift-royalty-free-image/1287618519">Svetlana_nsk/iStock via Getty Images Plus</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Have you planned out your holiday gift giving yet? If you’re anything like me, you might be waiting until the last minute. But whether every single present is already wrapped and ready, or you’ll hit the shops on Christmas Eve, giving gifts is a curious but central part of being human.</p>
<p>While researching my new book, “<a href="https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/S/bo206855594.html">So Much Stuff</a>,” on how humanity has come to depend on tools and technology over the last 3 million years, I became fascinated by the purpose of giving things away. Why would people simply hand over something precious or valuable when they could use it themselves?</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=FFy5tMUAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">To me as an anthropologist</a>, this is an especially powerful question because giving gifts likely has <a href="https://dundle.com/magazine/en/history-of-gift-giving-from-cavement-to-gen-z/">ancient roots</a>. And gifts can be found in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/208956">every known culture</a> around the world.</p>
<p>So, what explains the power of the present?</p>
<p>Undoubtedly, gifts serve lots of purposes. Some psychologists <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/brain-gift-giving">have observed</a> a “warm glow” – an intrinsic delight – that’s associated with giving presents. Theologians have noted how gifting is a way to express moral values, such as love, kindness and gratitude, in <a href="https://catholicmoraltheology.com/the-virtues-of-gift-giving/">Catholicism</a>, <a href="https://www.alliancemagazine.org/analysis/traditions-of-giving-in-buddhism/">Buddhism</a> and <a href="https://themuslimvibe.com/western-muslim-culture/what-does-islam-say-about-giving-gifts">Islam</a>. And philosophers ranging from <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780190496432.003.0014">Seneca</a> to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/09608788.2015.1088820">Friedrich Nietzsche</a> regarded gifting as the best demonstration of selflessness. It’s little wonder that gifts are a central part of Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and other winter holidays – and that some people may <a href="https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/article281962463.html">even be tempted to regard</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-psychological-differences-between-those-who-love-and-those-who-loathe-black-friday-shopping-105702">Black Friday</a>, the opening of the year-end shopping season, as a holiday in itself.</p>
<p>But of all the explanations for why people give gifts, the one I find most convincing was offered in 1925 by a French anthropologist named <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Marcel-Mauss">Marcel Mauss</a>.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="happy girl opens a box glowing from within by a Christmas tree" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565030/original/file-20231211-25-man0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">A thoughtful gift can feel worth more than its cash value.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/little-girl-excitedly-opens-presents-during-royalty-free-image/1063785468">fstop123/E+ via Getty Images</a></span>
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<h2>Giving, receiving, reciprocating</h2>
<p>Like many anthropologists, Mauss was puzzled by societies in which gifts were extravagantly given away.</p>
<p>For example, along the northwest coast of Canada and the United States, Indigenous peoples conduct potlatch ceremonies. In these dayslong feasts, hosts give away immense amounts of property. Consider a <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Indian_Agents/qQI9DgAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%221921%22+%22dan+cranmer%22+%22%242,000%22&pg=PA128&printsec=frontcover">famous potlatch in 1921</a>, held by a clan leader of the Kwakwaka’wakw Nation in Canada who gave community members 400 sacks of flour, heaps of blankets, sewing machines, furniture, canoes, gas-powered boats and even pool tables.</p>
<p>In a now-famous essay titled “<a href="https://wwnorton.com/books/The-Gift/">The Gift</a>,” originally published almost a century ago, Mauss sees potlaches as an extreme form of gifting. Yet, he suggests this behavior is totally recognizable in most every human society: We give things away even when keeping them for ourselves would seem to make much more economic and evolutionary sense.</p>
<p>Mauss observed that gifts create three separate but inextricably related actions. Gifts are given, received and reciprocated.</p>
<p>The first act of giving establishes the virtues of the gift giver. They express their generosity, kindness and honor.</p>
<p>The act of receiving the gift, in turn, shows a person’s willingness to be honored. This is a way for the receiver to show their own generosity, that they are willing to accept what was offered to them.</p>
<p>The third component of gift giving is reciprocity, returning in kind what was first given. Essentially, the person who received the gift is now expected – implicitly or explicitly – to give a gift back to the original giver.</p>
<p>But then, of course, once the first person gets something back, they must return yet another gift to the person who received the original gift. In this way, gifting becomes an endless loop of giving and receiving, giving and receiving.</p>
<p>This last step – reciprocity – is what makes gifts unique. Unlike buying something at a store, in which the exchange ends when money is traded for goods, giving gifts builds and sustains relationships. This relationship between the gift giver and receiver is bound up with morality. Gifting is an expression of fairness because each present is generally of equal or greater value than what was last given. And gifting is an expression of respect because it shows a willingness to honor the other person.</p>
<p>In these ways, gifting tethers people together. It keeps people connected in an infinite cycle of mutual obligations.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="busy city street with lights and holiday decorations" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565031/original/file-20231211-17-a2otkg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The year-end shopping frenzy can tip away from meaningful gift exchange to expensive consumerism.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/view-of-strøget-street-the-main-shopping-street-in-royalty-free-image/541318714">Atlantide Phototravel/Corbis Documentary via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Giving better gifts</h2>
<p>Are modern-day consumers unknowingly embodying Mauss’ theory a little too well? After all, many people today suffer not from the lack of gifts, but from an overabundance. </p>
<p>Gallup reports that the average American holiday shopper estimates <a href="https://news.gallup.com/poll/545450/consumers-increase-holiday-spending-intentions-mid-season.aspx">they’ll spend US$975 on presents in 2023</a>, the highest amount since this survey began in 1999.</p>
<p>And many gifts are simply thrown out. In the 2019 holiday season, it was estimated that more than <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/bad-gift-givers-christmas-presents-holiday-gifts/">$15 billion of gifts</a> purchased by Americans were unwanted, with <a href="https://wasteadvantagemag.com/how-holiday-gift-waste-impacts-the-environment/">4% going directly to the landfill</a>. This year, holiday spending is expected to increase in the <a href="https://www.statista.com/topics/3157/uk-christmas-shopping/#editorsPicks">U.K.</a>, <a href="https://www.cpacanada.ca/en/the-cpa-profession/about-cpa-canada/media-centre/2023/november/holiday-spending-2023">Canada</a>, <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/1287292/japan-holiday-shopping-expenditure-change-previous-year/">Japan</a> and elsewhere.</p>
<p>Modern-day gifting practices may be the source of both awe and anger. On the one hand, by giving presents you are engaging in an ancient behavior that makes us human by growing and sustaining our relationships. On the other hand, it seems as if some societies might be using the holiday season as an excuse to simply consume more and more.</p>
<p>Mauss’ ideas do not promote runaway consumerism. On the contrary, his explanations of gifts suggest that the more meaningful and personal the present, the greater the respect and honor being shown. A truly thoughtful gift is far less likely to end up in a dump. And vintage, upcycled, handmade goods – or a personalized experience such as a food tour or hot air balloon ride – might even be more valued than an expensive item mass-produced on the other side of the world, shipped across oceans and packaged in plastic.</p>
<p>Quality gifts can speak to your values and more meaningfully sustain your relationships.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/219468/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Chip Colwell receives funding from the National Endowment for the Humanities and National Science Foundation. He is affiliated with the Wenner-Gren Foundation and SAPIENS. </span></em></p>
Presents are about giving, receiving and reciprocating, and how this cycle strengthens relationships.
Chip Colwell, Associate Research Professor of Anthropology, University of Colorado Denver
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/218819
2023-12-07T19:19:10Z
2023-12-07T19:19:10Z
I’m an expert in diplomatic gift giving. Here are my 5 top tips for the best Christmas present exchange
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563156/original/file-20231204-25-axssf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C7%2C5237%2C3473&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>As we get closer to Christmas, your family will probably have some kind of gathering. You will reunite with people who you might not see any other time. There will be some awkward small talk, everyone will start off on their best behaviour, there will be too much food, and presents will be exchanged. </p>
<p>Sometimes, despite our best intentions, there are mismatched or underwhelming gifts that can lead to subtle tensions, which persist throughout the day. </p>
<p>But there is a field of academic research that can help with your gift giving. “Diplomatic gift studies” blends material culture studies with history and sociology. It considers gifts being “lost in translation” as they move across cultural spheres. It can explain everything – after all, what is a Christmas gathering if not a type of diplomatic mission?</p>
<p>Here are five things you can keep in mind to smooth things out and help you have the best gift-giving experience this Christmas.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-gift-wrapping-explains-why-sloppy-is-better-128506">The science of gift wrapping explains why sloppy is better</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>1. Understand the group’s traditions</h2>
<p>Picture this: it’s the first time at your in-laws’ Christmas. You bought a playful Secret Santa gift just perfect for your own family – a large box filled with a packet of prunes, toilet paper rolls and yesterday’s news. </p>
<p>Turns out, the gathering you’ve just walked into plays by a whole different set of rules. Awkward, right? </p>
<p>This happened to a friend of mine who was unaware of his in-laws’ tradition of thoughtful heartfelt gifts. Instead, he had chosen something that worked with his family custom of joke presents.</p>
<p>These situations are the most common with people who are – like my friend – newcomers to a gathering. They didn’t grow up with the same kind of Christmas you had and don’t have the same traditions. </p>
<p>Make sure you brief anyone who is new to your gathering about what your family generally does. If you are the newcomer, ask what they typically do for presents.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-play-and-win-the-gift-stealing-game-bad-santa-according-to-a-mathematician-196483">How to play and win the gift-stealing game Bad Santa, according to a mathematician</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>2. Don’t assume presents based on someone’s age</h2>
<p>Navigating the gifting landscape across different generations is like cracking a complex code. This is made more difficult if you don’t know the person well. To solve this, you might end up buying something you think someone their age typically likes. </p>
<p>As a teenager, a close friend once received a mini handbag from a distant aunt – a few years after they were popular. By the time the “cool” gift idea traversed the generational gap and reached the aunt, it was outdated. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A grandfather embraces their grandchild." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563157/original/file-20231204-15-c3vl5c.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Think about what the person you’re shopping for would like – not what ‘someone their age’ would like.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Sometimes, our assumptions about different age groups can go awry. Ask someone who knows the person about what they specifically like.</p>
<h2>3. Give a gift they want – not what you want</h2>
<p>We’ve all unwrapped that one present where we’ve wondered where on earth it fits into our lives. I once received a large, ceramic bowl for Christmas. I had nowhere to put it – my husband and I didn’t entertain or hold dinner parties. It was way too large for the two of us and not suited to our tastes. </p>
<p>I thought about the person who gave it to me – did it match their own interests and preferences? In this case, they’d shopped from their heart, forgetting their taste didn’t necessarily align with mine, and had bought something that they personally liked and wanted. They meant well.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-choose-the-right-christmas-gift-tips-from-psychological-research-149739">How to choose the right Christmas gift: tips from psychological research</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>4. Think about value in the long term</h2>
<p>Gift giving is ideally an equal exchange: you give and receive presents of the same approximate value. At the end of the day, when it’s time to go home, there is balance. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Friends exchange gifts." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563158/original/file-20231204-21-7i45bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">It’s not just about the presents on this day – but about everything else you give your friends.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>But sometimes the balance tips. You receive something more expensive than what you gave. It can make you feel like you are in that person’s debt, and you feel pressured to match their present the next time. </p>
<p>Before stressing, consider the bigger picture. What did you gift them last year? Or did you help them out in another way and they’re showing their appreciation now? </p>
<p>Sometimes, it’s about evening out the scales over time.</p>
<h2>5. Reflect on the intentions behind a gift</h2>
<p>One year, when I was 15, I received a set of shower products from a relative. Was this a subtle hint about my personal hygiene? Perhaps. Or was it a well-meaning attempt from someone who just didn’t know my style and bought something smelling nice, which a teenage girl could use?</p>
<p>It’s important to peel back the layers and understand the intentions behind a gift. Think about the person who is giving it, not just the present itself. That way, you avoid jumping to conclusions and appreciate the gesture for what it is.</p>
<p>End-of-year family gatherings can be a wonderful time, where we slow down and relax. We eat, drink and make merry with people who we care about. We give presents with the best of intentions, but some will probably miss the mark. </p>
<p>If this happens, remember it’s the thought behind them that truly counts. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-hidden-psychology-of-the-christmas-poker-face-129047">The hidden psychology of the Christmas 'poker face'</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><em>This piece is for my late husband, Christopher Lee, who suggested my research could apply to Christmas gift giving. Miss you.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218819/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Samantha Happé does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
We give presents with the best of intentions, but some will probably miss the mark. If this happens, remember it’s the thought behind them that truly counts.
Samantha Happé, Graduate researcher in art history and material culture studies, The University of Melbourne
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/198512
2023-02-12T19:10:48Z
2023-02-12T19:10:48Z
From Chaucer to chocolates: how Valentine’s Day gifts have changed over the centuries
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509334/original/file-20230210-22-xwzym6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=2%2C264%2C1395%2C1345&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Mirror case, ivory, a Lady Crowning her Lover, Paris, France, ca. 1300</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Victoria and Albert Museum</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>For Valentine’s Day, some couples only roll their eyes at each other in mutual cynicism. The capitalisation of love in the modern world can certainly seem banal. </p>
<p>But Valentine’s Day gifts are hardly a contemporary invention. People have been celebrating the day and gifting love tokens for hundreds of years.</p>
<p>We should first turn to Geoffrey Chaucer, the 14th-century poet, civil servant and keen European traveller. Chaucer’s poem from the 1380s, The Parliament of Fowls, is held to be the first reference to February 14 as a day about love. </p>
<p>This day was already a feast day of several mysterious early Roman <a href="https://theconversation.com/st-valentines-a-minor-day-in-a-medieval-calendar-packed-with-festivals-71225">martyred Saint Valentines</a>, but Chaucer described it as a day for people to choose their lovers. He knew that was easier said than done.</p>
<p>The narrator of the poem is unsuccessful in love, despairing that life is short compared with how long it takes to learn to love well. He falls asleep and dreams of a garden in which all the different birds of the world have gathered.</p>
<p>Nature explains to the assembled flocks that, like every year on St Valentine’s Day, they have come to pick their partners in accordance with her rules. But this process causes confusion and debate: the birds can’t agree what it means to follow her rules because they all value different things in their partners.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=237&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=237&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=237&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=298&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=298&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509361/original/file-20230210-20-rxbpph.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=298&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A 15th century version of Chaucer’s The Parliament of Fowls.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© The Trustees of the British Museum</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/st-valentines-a-minor-day-in-a-medieval-calendar-packed-with-festivals-71225">St Valentine's – a minor day in a medieval calendar packed with festivals</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Legal and emotional significance</h2>
<p>Like today, in Chaucer’s time gift-giving could be highly ritualised and symbolise intention and commitment. In Old and Middle English, a “wed” was any sort of token pledged to guarantee a promise. It was not until the 13th century that a “wedding” came to mean a nuptial ceremony. </p>
<p>The same period saw marriage transform into a Christianised and unbreakable commitment (<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/04/08/the-catholic-church-didnt-even-consider-marriage-a-sacrament-for-centuries/">a sacrament of the Church</a>). New conventions of love developed in songs, <a href="https://www.bl.uk/medieval-literature/articles/love-and-chivalry-in-the-middle-ages">stories</a> and other types of <a href="https://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O90898/scenes-from-romance-literature-casket-unknown/">art</a>. </p>
<p>These conventions influenced broader cultural ideas of emotion: love letters were written, grand acts of service were celebrated, and tokens of love were given. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=344&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=344&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=344&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=433&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=433&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508747/original/file-20230207-29-a91a01.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=433&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Author Pierre Sala gave a collection of love poems, the ‘Petit Livre d'Amour’ to his lover Marguerite Builloud, c. 1500.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© The Trustees of the British Museum</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Rings, brooches, girdles (belts), gloves, gauntlets (sleeves), kerchiefs or other personalised textiles, combs, mirrors, purses, boxes, vessels and pictures – and even fish – are just some examples of <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_Medieval_Art_of_Love.html?id=vDqSQgAACAAJ&redir_esc=y">romantic gifts</a> recorded from the late middle ages.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A gold ring" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=229&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=229&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=229&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=288&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=288&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509369/original/file-20230210-22-y1i3k2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=288&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Posy rings, such as this one from 1500-1530, were often given as love gifts, betrothal and wedding rings.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Victoria and Albert Museum</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In stories, gifts could be imbued with magical powers. In the 13th century, in a history of the world, Rudolf von Ems recorded how Moses, when <a href="https://yalebooks.yale.edu/2021/04/13/medieval-artists-painted-such-things-images-that-surprise-and-delight-in-illuminated-world-chronicles/">obliged to return home</a> and leave his first wife Tharbis, an Ethiopian princess, had two rings made. </p>
<p>The one he gave her would cause Tharbis to forget him. He always wore its pair which kept her memory forever fresh in his mind.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=882&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=882&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=882&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1108&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1108&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508518/original/file-20230206-26-t7mwbt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1108&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Illustration from a World Chronicle of Moses giving Tharbis the Forgetting Ring, c1400-1410.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">J. Paul Getty Museum</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Outside of stories, gifts could have legal significance: wedding rings, important from the 13th century, could prove that a marriage had occurred by evidencing the intention and consent of the giver and recipient. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/single-on-valentines-day-and-happily-so-155191">Single on Valentine's Day and happily so</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>The art of loving</h2>
<p>Like Chaucer, 20th-century German psychologist Erich Fromm thought people could learn the art of loving. Fromm thought love was an act of giving not just material things, but one’s joy, interest, understanding, knowledge, humour and sadness. </p>
<p>While these gifts might take some time and practice, there are more straightforward ideas from history. Manufactured <a href="https://www.vam.ac.uk/blog/caring-for-our-collections/victorian-valentines">cards</a> have dominated since the industrial revolution, taking their place alongside other now traditional presents such as flowers, jewellery, intimate apparel and consumables (now more often <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2017/02/14/514565105/chocolate-love-s-sweet-but-not-necessarily-innocent-consort">chocolates</a> than fish). All can be <a href="https://emotionsblog.history.qmul.ac.uk/2014/12/love-in-objects/">personalised</a> for that intimate touch.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=1094&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=1094&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=1094&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1375&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1375&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509326/original/file-20230210-20-3dn35j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1375&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A Valentine’s Day card from 1836.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Bequeathed by Guy Tristram Little, Victoria and Albert Museum</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>There have, of course, been weirder examples of love gifts, such as Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton exchanging necklaces with silver pendants smeared with <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2014/10/billy-bob-thornton-angelina-jolie-blood-vial">each other’s blood</a>.</p>
<p>Artist Dora Maar was so upset when her <a href="https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2017/11/09/how-picasso-bled-the-women-in-his-life-for-art/">notoriously bad lover Pablo Picasso</a> complained about having to trade a painting for a ruby ring she immediately threw the ring in the Seine. Picasso soon replaced it with <a href="https://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/ecatalogue/2017/actual-size-l17007/lot.18.html">another</a>, this one featuring Maar’s portrait.</p>
<p>A good love token can long outlast the feelings that prompt its giving: a flower pressed in a book, a trinket at the bottom of a box, a fading heartfelt card or a bittersweet song that jolts you back to an earlier time. In this way, the meaning of gifts can change as they become reminders that all things pass.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/valentines-day-the-pressures-of-shopping-for-romance-176825">Valentine's Day: the pressures of shopping for romance</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/198512/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Clare Davidson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Today you are probably more likely to gift chocolates than fish.
Clare Davidson, Research Associate, Gender and Women’s History Research Centre, Australian Catholic University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/189983
2023-01-10T19:05:08Z
2023-01-10T19:05:08Z
Why do our dogs and cats bring us dead animals?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/502073/original/file-20221220-16-rgowlh.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C3100%2C2108&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/o8CA1Kj8TJU">Samantha Fortney/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>What do a little penguin, a baby rabbit, a black rat and a <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-rare-discovery-we-found-the-sugar-glider-is-actually-three-species-but-one-is-disappearing-fast-142807">Krefft’s glider</a> have in common? They’ve all been presented to me (when dead) by my animal companions. Chances are, if you live with a cat or dog, you’ve also been brought something similar. </p>
<p>So, is it a gift, are they showing off, or is something else going on? </p>
<h2>Is it meant for you?</h2>
<p>The first thing to consider is whether your canine or feline companion is actually bringing <em>you</em> the dead animal, or are you just in the space they have also come to? </p>
<p>As people, we tend to like putting ourselves into the middle of every story (the fancy term to describe this mindset is anthropocentric). But sometimes it’s not about us. Maybe your dog was planning to munch away at that half-rotten critter on their comfortable bed in a known safe place, which coincidentally is near where you are.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/genetic-research-confirms-your-dogs-breed-influences-its-personality-but-so-do-you-196274">Genetic research confirms your dog's breed influences its personality — but so do you</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Perhaps your cat has entered the room, truly parading the find in their mouth to you. This might include them loudly exclaiming they hit their version of the jackpot with a direct approach: walking towards you, holding eye contact with you and making a distinctive cry (most cat meows are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7765146/">designed to get your attention</a>). </p>
<p>If this is the case, then yes, they probably are intentionally sharing this dead animal with you. But <em>why</em>? </p>
<h2>Understanding animal motivations</h2>
<p><strong>Did they kill this animal themselves?</strong></p>
<p>Globally, we know <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0151962">people value wildlife</a> in both urban and rural areas. Yet our companion cats and dogs <a href="https://theconversation.com/australia-must-control-its-killer-cat-problem-a-major-new-report-explains-how-but-doesnt-go-far-enough-154931">kill huge numbers of wild animals</a>. In Australia, cats in particular have attracted <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/wr/WR19174">attention and management policies</a> to <a href="https://theconversation.com/one-cat-one-year-110-native-animals-lock-up-your-pet-its-a-killing-machine-138412">reduce their impact on local wildlife</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Cat peering out of from the side of a window" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=508&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=508&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=508&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=638&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=638&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502264/original/file-20221220-25-slbol7.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=638&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">They can be very cute, but cats are also highly effective killers of native wildlife.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Fatih Turan/Pexels</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/australia-must-control-its-killer-cat-problem-a-major-new-report-explains-how-but-doesnt-go-far-enough-154931">Australia must control its killer cat problem. A major new report explains how, but doesn't go far enough</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>Are they bringing you something that was already dead?</strong></p>
<p>In some situations, our animals may just be opportunistic and have found something that was already dead. Perhaps it was dropped in a paddock by an owl, or washed up on the beach, or hit by a vehicle and found on the side of a road. What are we to make of these offerings?</p>
<p>In 2015, Queensland biologists described a number of individual wild bottlenose dolphins apparently “gift-giving” wild-caught fish (usually already dead) or cephalopods (such as squid and octopus) to the people who fed them fish as part of a regulated feeding program at Tangalooma in Australia. </p>
<p>The researchers thought the gifting was consistent with play, prey-sharing and teaching behaviours observed in dolphins, whales and many other mammals historically considered as big thinkers.</p>
<p>Ultimately, with these dolphins, and with our own animal companions, we can think of this sharing as an expression of the particular relationship between the animal and the human. In some cases, where the behaviour is regular (even if infrequent), we can describe it as part of the animals’ culture, as the dolphin biologists did <a href="https://doi.org/10.2752/175303712X13479798785698">in their scientific paper</a>. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/whales-and-dolphins-have-rich-cultures-and-could-hold-clues-to-what-makes-humans-so-advanced-85858">Whales and dolphins have rich cultures – and could hold clues to what makes humans so advanced</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="dolphins being fed by people in shallow water at the beach" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/502259/original/file-20221220-18-tq0w6h.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Dolphins used to being fed by people at Tangalooma, Queensland, have been known to present fish in return.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dolphin_Feeding_at_Tangalooma_Resort,_Moreton_Island.jpg">S. Newrick/Wikimedia Commons</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>What should you do?</h2>
<p>If you ever find yourself in the position where your animal companions bring you a dead animal, there are a couple of things to remember.</p>
<ol>
<li><p><strong>Regular parasite control</strong> will ensure you don’t all share more than intended. Mites responsible for mange, lice and worms can all spread readily between dead wildlife, animal companions and people. Talk to your veterinarian if you’re unsure about what parasite control your four-legged friend should routinely have.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>Stopping cats and dogs from preying on wildlife</strong> is a really important part of looking out for everyone’s wellbeing. If you know your animal companion is killing wild animals, you should take action to prevent it. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>Effective measures might include safely limiting when and where they go outdoors, a bell on their collar, keeping them on a lead when outside, and redirecting their energy <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-walking-your-dog-enough-100530">through regular walks</a>, play and fun <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-you-should-train-your-cat-and-how-to-do-it-188307">training activities</a>. Keeping cats inside the home can also <a href="https://theconversation.com/cats-that-are-allowed-to-roam-can-spread-diseases-to-humans-and-wildlife-173613">limit the spread of diseases</a> to humans and other animals.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/cats-that-are-allowed-to-roam-can-spread-diseases-to-humans-and-wildlife-173613">Cats that are allowed to roam can spread diseases to humans and wildlife</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>So, when your cat or dog presents you with a dead animal, it is normal behaviour and can indicate their attachment to you. It’s also a reminder, though, of how much damage they can do to wildlife and of our responsibility to limit that harm.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/189983/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Mia Cobb does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Are our animal companions showing off when they share more than toys with us? And what should we do about it?
Mia Cobb, Research Fellow, Animal Welfare Science Centre, The University of Melbourne
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/195169
2022-12-05T13:25:42Z
2022-12-05T13:25:42Z
The 4 biggest gift-giving mistakes, according to a consumer psychologist
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/498749/original/file-20221202-20-li3d7i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=104%2C7%2C4823%2C3313&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">If only little Gregory got a gift card ...</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/boy-hitting-toy-on-wrapping-paper-royalty-free-image/sb10063020h-002?phrase=bad+holiday+gift">Philipp Nemenz/The Image Bank via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>A good gift can elicit a surge of happiness and gratitude in the recipient. It also feels great to give, <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-point-of-holiday-gifts-173306">with psychologists finding</a> that the joy of giving a gift is more pronounced than the pleasure of receiving one.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, there are times when you receive a gift and you have to force a smile and fake your gratitude.</p>
<p>I’m a consumer psychologist <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=wjAq_TcAAAAJ&hl=en">who specializes in gift-giving research</a> – in particular, gift-giving mistakes. </p>
<p>Here are four of the most common ones.</p>
<h2>1. Prioritizing the big reveal</h2>
<p>One way givers can err is by focusing too much on <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721416656937">the moment the recipient will open the gift</a>.</p>
<p>Givers want their gift to be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/675737">desirable</a>. They hope <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.03.015">to surprise</a> the recipient and <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.2733341">put a smile</a> on their face. </p>
<p>A chocolate fondue fountain might meet these criteria – it’s quirky and sure to elicit curiosity and smiles from onlookers.</p>
<p>However, when people receive a gift, they care less about the moment the bow comes off, and instead think about the weeks and months ahead. </p>
<p>People want gifts that are <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1023703/volumes/v45/NA-45">useful</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/675737">reliable</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.03.015">meet their needs</a>.</p>
<p>How often would a chocolate fondue fountain realistically be used? </p>
<p>Compare that to a new coffee maker, which could see action every day. Sure, it isn’t a novelty – and probably won’t elicit “oohs” and “ahhs” on Christmas Day – but the recipient will be quite happy to have it on hand when their alarm rings each morning.</p>
<h2>2. Unique and new are overrated</h2>
<p>Another factor that can lead givers to go wrong involves unwritten rules for what constitutes good gift-giving practices. </p>
<p>Givers often focus on these rules more than they should. For example, they may <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jbusres.2020.05.023">avoid giving the same gift</a> to someone in back-to-back years because this goes against the norm of giving a unique gift each year. Givers also often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1348/014466604x23428">refrain from giving used products</a> as gifts because this violates the unspoken rule that a gift should be brand new.</p>
<p>In contrast, recipients are quite open to gifts that violate these norms. </p>
<p>If someone loves a certain type of wine, they’re <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jbusres.2020.05.023">more than happy to receive it</a> in subsequent years. And if one digital camera is lightly used but possesses several innovative features, while another is new but has fewer features, people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1348/014466604x23428">are happy to receive the used one</a>. </p>
<h2>3. Being risk-averse</h2>
<p>Givers can make missteps when they avoid gifts that they see as too risky. </p>
<p>Consider sentimental gifts, like a scrapbook or a nostalgic memento.</p>
<p>Studies have shown that recipients <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2017.06.002">love these gifts</a>; they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000036">elicit happiness for extended periods of time</a>. </p>
<p>Givers, however, tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2017.06.002">shy away from sentimental gifts</a> because they see them risky – sure, they could be a home run, but they could also whiff. Doubts can creep into shoppers’ heads as they consider sentimental gifts: What if it comes across as sappy? What if the recipient thinks I’m being cheap? </p>
<p>And so people tend to opt for <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S105774081730044X">safer, superficial gifts</a> that they assume will be at least somewhat well-liked. Or, to continue with the baseball analogy, givers are happy to take the sure single.</p>
<p>As another example, consider material goods versus experiences. </p>
<p>When giving gifts, people often opt for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucy010">tangible objects over experiences</a> because material goods are on the safer side – almost everyone could use a new appliance or a new shirt. Experiences are trickier; they require a bit more of an understanding of who the recipient truly is – not everyone loves going to see the symphony. </p>
<p>Yet recipients tend to be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jcpy.1281">more open to experiences than givers anticipate</a> – and these gifts <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1017575/volumes/v42/NA-42">are actually more likely to make people happier</a> than material goods.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Disappointed man sits on couch holding a pair of socks." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/498750/original/file-20221202-18-1tm3zn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Sometimes it’s better to go with Boston Red Sox tickets over a pair of socks.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/man-sitting-on-sofa-holding-sock-portrait-royalty-free-image/sb10063020j-004?phrase=bad%20holiday%20gift&adppopup=true">Philipp Nemenz/The Image Bank via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>4. Does the thought really count?</h2>
<p>Givers can also err by wanting their gift to appear especially thoughtful.</p>
<p>Of course, recipients appreciate thoughtfulness – but not when it comes at the expense of receiving something that’s actually useful.</p>
<p>This plays out when givers are shopping for multiple people. They’ll often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/674199">choose unique gifts for each recipient</a>, rather than give the same gift to everyone, because a distinct gift for each person will make them feel as though they put more time and effort into gift selection. People do this even if they realize that some recipients will be receiving less desirable gifts. </p>
<p>You’ll also see this happen with <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1020146/volumes/v43/NA-43">gift cards</a>. Givers often choose specific gift cards – to a particular clothing store or restaurant, for example – that reflect the interests or tastes of the recipient. </p>
<p>But recipients are more open to gift cards that give them more flexibility and freedom – think an Amazon or Visa gift card. That way, they can decide whether to splurge on a new sweater, dine out at their favorite restaurant – or do both.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/195169/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Julian Givi does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Finding good gifts can be tricky. Here are some research-backed tips to help you with your holiday shopping.
Julian Givi, Assistant Professor of Marketing, West Virginia University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/176825
2022-02-11T14:53:56Z
2022-02-11T14:53:56Z
Valentine’s Day: the pressures of shopping for romance
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/445749/original/file-20220210-47794-1lq66us.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=35%2C35%2C3928%2C2574&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/bouquet-dead-red-roses-pewter-vase-445992445">Shutterstock/madorf</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>For many couples, Valentine’s Day is crunch time. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2004.00095.x?casa_token=dXHKwjSGkmgAAAAA:5tzlar5bS1HruzNIV5g40YchEknu-HqPSedtbh61puhKrdCcKNtA1gZ0RnqQOKoCNTbVwWJh87JsmTyI">Research</a> has shown that romantic relationships are more likely to end on or around February 14 compared to almost any other time of the year. This may be why almost £1 billion is <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/510981/valentines-day-total-spending-great-britain/">expected to be spent</a> in the UK over the next few days on the traditional fare of cards, chocolates and jewellery. </p>
<p>Many of those items will be bought as genuine gestures of affection, or for the more economically minded, as proof that they are invested in the relationship. But the fact that the date has become so commercialised can also be a real turnoff. For while some consider it a cherished day of romantic bliss, to others, February 14 inspires <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1985864">feelings of loathing</a> and revulsion. </p>
<p>And if you do choose to partake in the annual celebration, deciding on the right Valentine’s Day gift can be confusing. What does a box of chocolates signify? How many roses does it take to genuinely reflect the appropriate level of devotion? </p>
<p>Rather than feeling that they want to buy something lovely for the person they love, people may feel obliged simply to spend, such is the weight of tradition and expectation.</p>
<p>For many, particularly men, according to research, a subsequent coping mechanism is a shopping style which has been labelled “<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022435900000476?casa_token=3S9omdidR-AAAAAA:gadGWE2FZ42GdL4QTSvmyXYd-ADxwCgcUQPYXxrV2odZkU5fA060MUcF4vcL6A7pw16j2DMPvu4">grab and go</a>”. This is when a person enters a store, picks something up, and is ready to pay in as little as 30 seconds. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A man with roses hidden behind his back approaches a smiling woman ." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/445933/original/file-20220211-21-1fehl94.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Cheesy does it.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/beautiful-loving-couple-spending-time-together-795913363">Shutterstock/4 PM production</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Meanwhile, it has been claimed that women are more likely to have <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1986301">escalating expectations</a>, especially in their 20s, about what they should receive as a Valentine’s gift. </p>
<p>Some who had been in a relatively long-term relationship expected the level of lavishness to increase from year to year. And it is not uncommon for heterosexual women to consider it to be the man’s role to plan and create the perfect day. </p>
<p>For many, that perfection can only be achieved if it comes with the smell of a dozen red roses. Flowers are a big money spinner on Valentine’s Day and in 2019, <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/803395/valentine-s-day-expenditure-by-category-united-kingdom-uk/">£261 million</a> was spent on bouquets in the UK. But <a href="https://journals.ashs.org/horttech/view/journals/horttech/23/1/article-p28.xml">research indicates</a> that the chances of receiving a bunch of blooms depend on how the other person views the state of the relationship. </p>
<p>You are apparently more likely to buy flowers if you perceive that your personal needs, such as feeling loved, are being fulfilled. If you are strongly passionate about someone, you’ll probably give flowers in combination with a range of other gifts. Those who said they were “satisfied” with their romantic relationship were the least inclined to buy flowers for their partners. </p>
<h2>Can’t buy me love</h2>
<p>To ease the pressure, then, it is always worth considering a more personal and low-key approach – something that the object of your affection will genuinely appreciate and enjoy. Extravagance isn’t always appreciated, for example, as <a href="https://research-repository.griffith.edu.au/bitstream/handle/10072/2829/30166_1.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y">giving branded goods</a> is often received as a commercial gift rather than a message of love. </p>
<p>If you opt to play it safe with a gift card, go for a broad approach. <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/v43/acr_vol43_1020146.pdf">Research shows</a> that tokens for a specific shop or product are less appreciated and often end up unused. </p>
<p>But of course, expressions of love and affection need not be about spending money at all. One <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2501480">survey of 3,000 couples</a> found that those who spent the most on engagement rings and weddings were the quickest to break up. </p>
<p>An alternative approach would be to embrace research that suggests that true happiness comes from spending time with the people you love and <a href="https://myscp.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1016/j.jcps.2014.08.004?casa_token=buvxtt3f7HoAAAAA%3AVoJVIiETCsdYFm4EgvrPqtjbfXyAIBrI5zkflPPq-hWXsME4IQyrZvUZuz0Sg_xunX68eEdNF3TvyMMq">sharing experiences</a> together. So perhaps the best option for Valentine’s Day is to forget about spending money on expensive gifts and make it about how you spend time as a couple instead. Try to do something that creates a fond memory – in a way that a wilting bunch of flowers never will.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/176825/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Cathrine Jansson-Boyd does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
February 14 brings great expectations.
Cathrine Jansson-Boyd, Reader in Consumer Psychology, Anglia Ruskin University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/173306
2021-12-20T20:09:04Z
2021-12-20T20:09:04Z
What’s the point of holiday gifts?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/438264/original/file-20211217-21-1au3tk7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=251%2C13%2C2735%2C1935&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">If you aren't a fan of holiday shopping, you aren't alone.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/dan-aldrich-takes-a-break-from-shopping-at-the-baybrook-news-photo/72639934?adppopup=true">Dave Einsel/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Whether it’s the dread of a trip to an overcrowded shopping mall, the challenge of picking out the right gifts, the frustration over delivery delays or the hit to the wallet, shopping for holiday gifts can be stressful.</p>
<p>What’s the point of it all? Shouldn’t the holiday season simply be about family, friends and food? And wouldn’t everyone just be better off spending their own money on things they know they want?</p>
<p>Gift exchanges may seem wasteful and impractical. But as social scientific research reveals, the costs and benefits of gift-giving aren’t what they seem.</p>
<h2>The Kula ring</h2>
<p>During his fieldwork in Papua New Guinea, anthropologist <a href="https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/lsehistory/2017/06/13/bronislaw-malinowski-lse-pioneer-of-social-anthropology/">Bronislaw Malinowski</a> documented an elaborate tradition practiced by the Massim people. These island communities maintained a complex ceremonial exchange system that revolved around the gifting of shell necklaces and shell armbands. Each gift first passed between individuals and then traveled between islands in a circle that became known as the “<a href="https://www.ccsenet.org/journal/index.php/res/article/view/15311">Kula ring</a>.”</p>
<p>These artifacts had no practical utility or commercial value. In fact, selling them was strictly forbidden by custom. And since the objects were always on the move, their owners rarely wore them. Nonetheless, the Massim took long journeys to exchange them, risking life and limb as they navigated the treacherous waters of the Pacific Ocean in their wobbly canoes.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Colorful crescent-shaped objects covered in shells and strings." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438236/original/file-20211217-19-1oqlahc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The Massim spend considerable time, energy and resources to exchange trinkets.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/kula-rings-which-are-traded-throughout-the-royalty-free-image/560129603?adppopup=true">David Kirkland/Design Pics via Getty Images.</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>This hardly seems like an efficient use of time and resources. But anthropologists realized that the Kula was instrumental in cultivating human connection. </p>
<p>Individually, these gifts were <a href="https://sciencelens.co.nz/2013/05/10/marcel-mauss-gift-giving/">not really free</a>; they came with the expectation of repayment in the future. But on the whole, they served to create a cycle of mutual responsibilities, resulting in a network of reciprocal relationships encompassing the entire community.</p>
<h2>The giving effect</h2>
<p>Similar exchanges exist in societies around the world. In many parts of Asia, gift-giving is an integral part of <a href="https://chinaculturecorner.com/2013/10/30/giving-gifts-in-china/">corporate culture</a>. Just like for the Massim, those symbolic gifts facilitate business relations.</p>
<p>In much of the Western world, one of the most familiar contexts is the custom of exchanging holiday presents. On occasions such as Christmas, Hanukkah or <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-kwanzaa-means-for-black-americans-88220">Kwanzaa</a>, many families spend considerable time, effort and money on buying presents for their loved ones. </p>
<p>Looking at it through the lens of cold logic, the practice seems wasteful. Everyone has to pay for someone else’s stuff. Some gifts end up going unused or returned. If no one gave presents, everyone might be better off spending their money and time according to their own needs and desires. </p>
<p>However, psychological research suggests otherwise.</p>
<p>Studies show that <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-social-self/201012/giving-really-is-better-receiving">spending money on others</a> feels better than splurging on ourselves. In fact, neuroscientists have found that making a donation makes the brain’s <a href="https://www.pnas.org/content/103/42/15623.abstract">reward circuitry</a> light up more than receiving a gift. Moreover, the joy of giving a gift <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/12/181220080008.htm">lasts longer</a> than the fleeting pleasure of accepting it.</p>
<p>By exchanging presents, we can double-dip, spreading feelings of gratitude all around. Besides, as families and friends know one another’s tastes, preferences and needs, chances are that most people will end up receiving what they wanted in the first place, with the added bonus of bringing everyone closer together.</p>
<h2>Weaving webs of connections</h2>
<p>Ritualized sharing occurs not only within but also between families. Think of birthday parties, weddings or baby showers. Guests are expected to bring a present, often of significant value. Both they and their hosts often keep track of the value of those presents, and receivers are expected to reciprocate with a gift of similar value when the opportunity presents itself in the future.</p>
<p>This exchange serves multiple functions. For the hosts, it provides material support, often during challenging transitional periods such as starting a new family. And for guests, it is like investing money into a fund, to be used when their time comes to become hosts. Moreover, the gifts help raise the symbolic status of the givers along with that of the receiver, who is in position to organize a lavish ceremony partly or wholly funded by the guests. Most importantly, these exchanges help build a network of ritual bonds between families. </p>
<p>Similar practices even extend to politics: When diplomats or leaders visit a foreign country, it is customary to exchange presents. French officials often hand out <a href="https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2019/11/macron-gifts-chinese-president-xi-jinping-romanee-conti-1978/">bottles of wine</a>, while Italian leaders are known to give <a href="https://en.protothema.gr/italian-pm-matteo-renzi-gifted-greek-pm-alexis-tsipras-a-tie/">fashionable ties</a>.</p>
<p>Other diplomatic gifts may be more unusual. When President Richard Nixon visited China in 1972, Chairman Mao Zedong <a href="https://www.history.com/news/panda-diplomacy-the-worlds-cutest-ambassadors">sent two giant pandas</a>, named Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing, to the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. The U.S. government reciprocated by <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1972/02/18/archives/2-musk-oxen-are-going-to-china-as-nixon-gifts.html">sending two oxen</a> to China.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two pandas play." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=402&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=402&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=402&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=505&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=505&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/438257/original/file-20211217-19-1ov9kaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=505&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The Chinese government gifted two pandas, Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing, to the U.S.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/PandaLove1974/fc4ae77b3a41438ca2372caabc1f30fd/photo?Query=Hsing-Hsing%20panda&mediaType=photo&sortBy=arrivaldatetime:asc&dateRange=Anytime&totalCount=11&currentItemNo=4">AP Photo/Charles Tasnadi</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>From the shells exchanged by Pacific islanders to the toys and sweaters placed under Christmas trees, sharing has always been at the center of many ritual traditions. This is fundamentally different from other forms of material exchange, like trade or barter. </p>
<p>For the Massim, exchanging a shell necklace for a shell armband is not the same as trading yam for fish, just as giving a birthday present is not the same as handing a cashier money to purchase groceries.</p>
<p>This speaks to a more general rule of ceremonial actions: they are not what they appear to be. Unlike ordinary behaviors, ritual actions are nonutilitarian. It is this very lack of obvious utility that makes them special.</p>
<p>[<em>Like what you’ve read? Want more?</em> <a href="https://memberservices.theconversation.com/newsletters/?source=inline-likethis">Sign up for The Conversation’s daily newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/173306/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dimitris Xygalatas does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Gift-giving might seem needlessly cumbersome and stressful. But the costs and benefits of the custom aren’t what they seem.
Dimitris Xygalatas, Associate Professor of Anthropology and Psychological Sciences, University of Connecticut
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/150174
2020-12-01T03:10:28Z
2020-12-01T03:10:28Z
Feeling pressured to buy Christmas presents? Read this (and think twice before buying candles)
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372134/original/file-20201201-21-7qz3qh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C6016%2C4007&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Christmas marks a <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/07363760610681673/full/html?casa_token=lwKIwAQZLaUAAAAA:jso9GLBoVlbAmgyVaazsOsyc769oJ6gzm04OqiGcxgOGbh1vKbw5dxXTrcRpyLVo3LLC60nLmMuwIlVbJISrZmSqUq6UKsv-00vQMBH8IgRffRQqXrU5">peak in consumerism</a> across the West. Despite the COVID downturn, this Christmas the spending frenzy is unlikely to be dampened.</p>
<p>One consumer sentiment <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-11-11/consumer-confidence-christmas-shopping-coronavirus/12866990">survey</a> showed about 12% of people expect to spend more this Christmas than in previous years. About one-third expected to spend less – a similar result to previous years. And retailers are also <a href="https://www2.deloitte.com/au/en/pages/media-releases/articles/retailers-christmas-survey-2020-stepping-out-bubble-191120.html">feeling optimistic</a>: more than one in three expect Christmas sales to exceed 2019 by more than 5%.</p>
<p>All this festive spending creates significant <a href="https://www.bmcc.nsw.gov.au/media-centre/waste-not-want-not-christmas">waste</a>, particularly in the form of unwanted gifts. </p>
<p>So before you finish your Christmas shopping, it’s worth considering why we feel forced to spend big on gifts during the silly season, and whether there are better, greener alternatives.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Items dumped at charity store after Christmas" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372136/original/file-20201201-15-2ltvfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Unwanted Christmas presents can pile up in landfill and at charity stores.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">AAP</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Really, you shouldn’t have</h2>
<p>Research by ING found <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/money/saving/christmas-waste-revealed-in-400m-of-unwanted-gifts-20191118-p53bnv.html">A$400 million</a> worth of unwanted presents were gifted in Christmas 2018, comprising about 10 million items.</p>
<p>Topping <a href="https://newsroom.ing.com.au/australians-dreaming-of-a-green-christmas/">the list</a> were novelty items (51%), candles (40%), pamper products (40%), pyjamas or slippers (35%) and underwear or socks (32%).</p>
<p>Charity groups are <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-14/charities-not-accepting-donations-as-bins-overflow/10713158">inundated with unwanted goods</a> directly after Christmas. Not all of these are resold – charities reportedly send about <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-04/charities-spending-millions-cleaning-up-fast-fashion-graveyard/10328758">60,000 tonnes</a> of unwanted items to landfill every year.</p>
<p>This waste comes at a huge cost, not only to household budgets but also to the environment. Recent research on the topic is hard to come by, but in 2007 researchers from the <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263969440_The_Carbon_Cost_of_Christmas">Stockholm Environment Institute</a> examined consumption over the festive season, and found 80kg of carbon dioxide per person could be saved if unwanted gifts were not purchased. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Candles" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372138/original/file-20201201-19-1q8qxdh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Some people don’t like receiving candles at Christmas.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Why do we feel obliged to buy?</h2>
<p>Gift-giving is a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0148296319302206">complex</a> emotional process. And it’s not necessarily always a positive experience: a 2016 <a href="https://think.ing.com/reports/special-report-presents-of-mind-christmas-2016">survey</a> found 43% of Australian shoppers felt forced to spend money at Christmas.</p>
<p>Research suggests Christmas gift-giving is less about altruism, and becoming more about social pressure to <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jcr/article-abstract/10/2/157/1801227">reciprocate</a> – the expectation that when we receive a gift, we will give one in return. And reciprocity does not necessarily bring happiness. One <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/7086/volumes/v17/NA-17/full">study</a> dating back to 1990 found those who gave an obligatory gift had negative feelings about the act afterwards.</p>
<p>In particular, some respondents felt their freedom to choose a gift was curtailed by perceived obligations – that they had to reciprocate with a gift of similar type, price or brand. This triggered psychological “<a href="https://www.unisr.it/en/news/2018/12/la-psicologia-sociale-del-natale-intervista-allunisr-social-lab">reactance</a>” – <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4675534/">the unpleasant arousal</a> people experience when their free behaviours are threatened. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-choose-the-right-christmas-gift-tips-from-psychological-research-149739">How to choose the right Christmas gift: tips from psychological research</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Gift-giving can be a way of showing appreciation, but you don’t necessarily need to spend up big. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103108002175">Research shows</a> while gift-givers might expect a gift to be appreciated more if it was expensive, recipients reported no such association.</p>
<p>Or you could spend nothing at all, by regifting an unwanted present. In some circles of contemporary society, regifting is frowned upon. Respondents in <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/cb.1463?mod=article_inline">one study</a> went so far as to describe regifters as lazy, thoughtless and disrespectful.</p>
<p>However in some cultures, regifting is considered normal. For example, a classic 1922 <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/9780203421260">ethnographic study</a> describes a ritual followed by people of the Massim archipelago in Papua New Guinea. Called <a href="https://escholarship.org/content/qt4rg9t7wv/qt4rg9t7wv.pdf?t=o0wtkl">Kula</a>, it involves people travelling to a nearby island and presenting residents with shells and necklaces. The recipients would keep the gifts for a time, then pass them to others, and on it went.</p>
<p>To these islanders, keeping gifts <a href="https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstream/handle/1/9969385/adams,flynn,norton-gifts.pdf?sequence=1">destroyed the value</a> created by the act of giving, while regifting maintained it.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A toddler looking unhappy at gift" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/372139/original/file-20201201-23-qk759v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Regifting is a sustainable option to dealing with unwanted gifts.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>5 ways to have a green Christmas</h2>
<p>There are lots of ways to give a gift without hurting the planet. And since the COVID-19 pandemic forced many activities online, the options are even greater. Here are a five options:</p>
<p><strong>1. Virtual and digital gifts</strong>: these range from electronic gift vouchers that allow the receiver to buy what they really want, to subscriptions to <a href="https://decider.com/article/gift-streaming-subscriptions/">streaming services</a>, audiobooks and even <a href="https://www.joincake.com/blog/virtual-flowers/">virtual bouquets</a>. </p>
<p>Due to COVID, <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/business-54658147">virtual travel</a>, which began for many as a temporary measure, may now be around to stay. Or you could gift a <a href="https://www.markletic.com/blog/virtual-christmas-event-ideas/">virtual Christmas</a> event such as cooking classes, cocktail-making experiences and virtual craft workshops.</p>
<p><strong>2. Give an experience</strong>: Experiences are events such as concerts, jet boating, spa treatments or a romantic evening cruise. Research shows <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-10055-017?doi=1">experiential gifts</a> contribute more to consumer happiness than material purchases. </p>
<p>Giving experiential gifts also <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jcr/article/43/6/913/2632328">strengthens social connections</a> between givers and recipients.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/virtual-reality-has-been-boosted-by-coronavirus-heres-how-to-avoid-it-leading-us-to-dystopia-141073">Virtual reality has been boosted by coronavirus – here's how to avoid it leading us to dystopia</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>3. Regift</strong>: <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/the-ethics-of-regifting/9285820">Regifting</a>, if done thoughtfully, can be a great way to avoid unwanted presents ending up in landfill.</p>
<p>The practice is actually quite common. One <a href="https://think.ing.com/reports/special-report-presents-of-mind-christmas-2016">consumer survey</a> shows when people receive unwanted gifts, 25% give them to someone else. And on websites such as Gumtree, you can even <a href="https://www.gumtree.com.au/s-unwanted+gifts+for+sale+au/k0">buy other people’s</a> unwanted gifts. At the time of writing, products for sale included an unworn Maurice Lacroix men’s watch, an electric drum kit and a new Samsung smart TV.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Screen shot of virtual cocktail making class" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=425&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=425&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370170/original/file-20201118-19-18rophd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=425&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Virtual cocktail making classes, such as these offered by Melbourne bar Laylow, are a green gift option.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://laylowap.com/virtual-cocktails">Laylow</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>4. Go handmade</strong>: Handmade gifts are unique and help <a href="https://site.handshake.com/blog/gift-industry-trends-handmade">forge a connection</a> between the giver and the receiver. And even when you purchase the handmade gift rather than make it yourself, research shows recipients usually perceive that the gift symbolically contains “<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1509/jm.14.0018">love</a>”.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.etsy.com/au/about?ref=ftr">Etsy</a> has become the global marketplace for handmade gifts and vintage treasures. But keep in mind that if you order a handmade gift from the other side of the world, transporting it will generate carbon emissions.</p>
<p><strong>5. Upcycle</strong>: <a href="https://intercongreen.com/2010/02/17/recycling-vs-upcycling-what-is-the-difference/">Upcycling</a> prolongs the life of old objects by creatively reshaping them into <a href="https://www.boredpanda.com/creative-reuse-upcycling-repurposing-ideas/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic">new products</a>. For example, an old jar might become a hanging plant pot, or a reclaimed door might be repurposed as a table top.</p>
<p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0022242919872156">Research</a> has found when people are told about the past identity or “story” of an upcycled product, the person feels “special” and demand for the product increases.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/your-christmas-shopping-could-harm-or-help-the-planet-which-will-it-be-123340">Your Christmas shopping could harm or help the planet. Which will it be?</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/150174/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Novelty items, candles, pamper products and pyjamas top the list of unwanted Christmas gifts. So why not choose a better, greener option?
Gary Mortimer, Professor of Marketing and Consumer Behaviour, Queensland University of Technology
Jana Bowden, Associate Professor of Marketing and Consumer Behaviour, Macquarie University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/149739
2020-11-18T02:46:53Z
2020-11-18T02:46:53Z
How to choose the right Christmas gift: tips from psychological research
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369466/original/file-20201116-23-2fwt45.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=44%2C97%2C5000%2C3226&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Christmas is a time of celebration, relaxation and gift giving. </p>
<p>But choosing gifts can also make it a time of stress and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/314310">anxiety</a>. The wrong gift can actually <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-11486-006">do more harm than good</a>. </p>
<p>Here is some advice, based on decades of research, on how to side-step such pitfalls. </p>
<h2>Why do we give gifts?</h2>
<p>Research into the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/208956">psychology of gift-giving</a> suggests there are two goals to consider when giving someone a gift.</p>
<p>The first is to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucz009">make the recipient happy</a>. That mostly depends on whether the gift is something they want.</p>
<p>The second is to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/209546">strengthen the relationship between giver and recipient</a>. This is achieved by giving a thoughtful and memorable gift – one that shows the giver really knows the recipient. Usually this means figuring out what someone wants without directly asking. </p>
<p>You can see the conundrum. </p>
<p>To get someone the gift they most desire, the obvious thing to do is ask. This approach can achieve high marks on desirability. But it is set up to fail on communicating thoughtfulness.</p>
<p>The following graphic illustrates the problem (with myself as the example recipient).</p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=360&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=360&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=360&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=452&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=452&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369503/original/file-20201116-23-18symvi.PNG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=452&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Two dimensions to consider when buying someone a gift: thoughtfulness and desirability.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Images from https://pixabay.com/</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<hr>
<p>The best kind of gift is one both desired by the recipient and is thoughtful. For me this might be a custom t-shirt printed with an in-joke. </p>
<p>The worst kind of gift, on the other hand, is neither desired nor thoughtful. For me, this might be a pair of socks.</p>
<p>Then there are desirable but unthoughtful gifts, such as cash, and undesired but very thoughtful gifts, which for me would be officially naming a star in my honour. I love astronomy but this just isn’t for me.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/were-not-as-grinchy-as-we-think-how-gift-giving-is-inspired-by-beliefs-based-altruism-108739">We're not as Grinchy as we think: how gift-giving is inspired by beliefs-based altruism</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Navigating social risk</h2>
<p>This is why buying a gift can be so anxiety-inducing. There is a “<a href="https://doi.org/10.2753/MTP1069-6679200304">social risk</a>” involved. </p>
<p>A well-received gift can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/208956">improve the quality of relationship between giver and recipient</a> by increasing feelings of connection, bonding, and commitment. A poorly received gift can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/soco.2008.26.4.469">do the opposite</a>.</p>
<p>This has been shown by research. A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/209546">1999 study</a> asked 129 people to describe in detail a situation in which they had received a gift. Ten people reported gifts that weakened the relationship. Two people actually ended the relationship after the gift.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C12%2C4250%2C2805&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/368216/original/file-20201109-15-10qkye6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The thought doesn’t count as much as you think. Gift givers tend to overestimate how well unsolicited gifts will be recieved.</span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>How much does the thought count?</h2>
<p>Research also shows people tend to overestimate their ability to discern what a recipient will like, and therefore what gifts will lead to a strengthening of the relationship.</p>
<p>A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.03.015">2011 study</a> asked respondents to think back to either their own wedding or a wedding to which they were a guest. Gift recipients were asked to rate how appreciative they were of gifts either listed on the gift registry or not. Guests were asked to estimate how well they thought gifts were received.</p>
<p>Gift recipients strongly preferred gifts on their list. However, gift givers tended to wrongly assume unsolicited gifts (those not on the registry) would be considered more thoughtful and considerate by their intended recipients than was the case. </p>
<p>Gift givers also tend to overestimate that more expensive gifts will be received as being more thoughtful. But it turns out gift recipients <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.11.003">appreciate expensive and inexpensive gifts similarly</a>. In reality, they actually feel closer to those who <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218784899">give convenient gifts</a>, such as a gift certificate to a nearby ordinary restaurant rather than a distant upscale restaurant.</p>
<h2>The psychology of cash</h2>
<p>What about simply giving cash? </p>
<p>After all, the recipient can buy exactly what they most desire. But cash is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0167-4870(83)90028-4">considered unthoughtful</a> because it requires no effort and seems to put a dollar value on the relationship. </p>
<p>In Chinese cultures, cash is given in a red envelope to decommodify the money by literally enveloping it in a symbol of good luck. If you’re going to give cash, think about <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/maitlandquitmeyer/dollar-dollar-bill-yall">doing it creatively</a>, such as through clever origami or in some other way that personalises it. This will show a degree more thoughtfulness. </p>
<p>The closest alternative to cash is the gift card. The main benefit is that it <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/09593969.2015.1086402">requires some effort</a> and allows some thoughtfulness in the selection of which gift card to purchase. Nevertheless, the research suggests the gift card is often reached for as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.2753/MTP1069-6679200304">last resort</a>. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/no-presents-please-how-gift-cards-initiate-children-into-the-world-of-credit-100009">No presents, please: how gift cards initiate children into the world of 'credit'</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>The best gift of all</h2>
<p>If you want to have a wrapped gift under the Christmas tree and haven’t been tipped off on exactly what the recipient wants, go for something practical with a personalised touch. If you really are struggling, then a thoughtful card together with a flexible gift card is a safe option. </p>
<p>But the main takeaway from the psychology of gift-giving research is that, if your goal is to strengthen your relationship with the recipient, give them an experience.</p>
<p>A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucw067">2016 study</a> asked people to give a friend either a “material” or “experiential” gift (valued at $15). Material gifts included things such as clothing. Experiential gifts included things such as movie tickets. Recipients of the experiential gifts showed a stronger improvement in relationship strength than recipients of the material gifts.</p>
<p>The most precious gift you can give a loved one, though, is actually quite simple: quality time. In a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1021516410457">2002 study</a> involving 117 people, more happiness was reported from family and religious experiences than from events where spending money and receiving gifts was the focus.</p>
<p>So this Christmas, grab a drink, sit down and have a conversation. Get to know each other. If done well, come next Christmas, you’ll both know exactly what gift to get each other.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/149739/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Adrian R. Camilleri does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Choosing the wrong gift can damage a relationship. Here is some advice, based on decades of research, on how to side-step the pitfalls.
Adrian R. Camilleri, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, University of Technology Sydney
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/129047
2019-12-23T11:22:24Z
2019-12-23T11:22:24Z
The hidden psychology of the Christmas ‘poker face’
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307955/original/file-20191219-11891-1ob6m5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C6847%2C4551&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">It's the thought that counts...</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/man-giving-christmas-present-his-girlfriend-488792596">TijanaM/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Imagine the scene – gleeful children ripping open presents, harassed parents surveying the carnage of once-tidy homes, disgruntled relatives muttering disapproval into their third glass of sherry. All familiar sights around Christmas, when the social obligations of the festive season draw people together with their kith and kin.</p>
<p>This type of social event is perfectly natural. Humans are, after all, a social species, regardless of individual preferences. Traditional celebrations can often mean more people and more stress, but what people might not expect so much is how this seems to <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Nancy_Nicolson/publication/13373803_Effects_of_stressful_daily_events_on_mood_states_Relationship_to_global_perceived_stress/links/0922b4f5a874ecd7be000000/Effects-of-stressful-daily-events-on-mood-states-Relationship-to-global-perceived-stress.pdf">magnify our emotions</a>. Tempers seem to flare more rapidly, tears are shed readily, and at times, joy can appear to radiate from every face.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-mindfulness-could-give-you-the-gift-of-a-calmer-christmas-35362">How mindfulness could give you the gift of a calmer Christmas</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>But how far can these magnified emotions be trusted? You’re likely to have gushed over the gift you can’t wait to return to the store on Boxing Day and you’ve probably gritted your teeth and kept quiet while Uncle Frank begins a sentence with “I’m not racist, but …” The reality is that most of us have faked the facial expression we know is expected of us in the moment, knowing that others will be doing exactly the same. And that is perfectly natural too.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307957/original/file-20191219-11924-2tpbzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Everyone looks happy, but how can you be sure?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/happy-family-friends-clinking-glasses-on-1258453231">Lucky Business/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Faking it</h2>
<p>Typically, your face will mirror what you’re experiencing inside your <a href="http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.916.1818&rep=rep1&type=pdf">own head and body</a>. Facial expressions are a reliable way for humans to communicate and understand each other’s feelings, usually cutting through <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Rainer_Krause2/publication/19479584_Universals_and_Cultural_Differences_in_the_Judgments_of_Facial_Expressions_of_Emotion/links/564c592008aeab8ed5e889ce/Universals-and-Cultural-Differences-in-the-Judgments-of-Facial-Expressions-of-Emotion.pdf">linguistic and cultural differences</a>.</p>
<p>But they are more complex than simple signals to other humans – they combine a number of <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Gernot_Horstmann/publication/10630094_What_Do_Facial_Expressions_Convey_Feeling_States_Behavioral_Intentions_or_Action_Requests/links/0deec524a9603572a7000000.pdf">different functions</a>. These include behavioural requests, such as the sorrowful quivering lip to tell someone you’re in need of comfort, and intention indicators, such as your mum’s thunderous look conveying exactly what will happen if you don’t behave. Facial displays in <a href="http://s-f-walker.org.uk/pubsebooks/pdfs/eema-Darwin.pdf">other species</a> suggest this range of functions have been shaped by evolution, primarily to enable us to survive today and thrive tomorrow.</p>
<p>But having a face that only ever mirrors what you’re really thinking or feeling would be a distinct disadvantage in the modern world. Your exchanges during social occasions are often managed by cultural <a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/6b31/9cd72562d580d2cae4a0af1c3042acd41f0d.pdf">display rules</a> that determine when to smile, when to frown and when to shake your head in bewilderment. And this is where the differences between real and fake emerge – in the way your face responds.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/emotions-how-humans-regulate-them-and-why-some-people-cant-104713">Emotions: how humans regulate them and why some people can't</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Take your fake smile at the latest hideous gift from Aunt Mabel. How can someone tell you’re not really delighted? A <a href="http://ursulakhess.com/resources/HK90.pdf">natural expression</a> is spontaneous – it can’t be produced to order, whereas its manufactured alter ego, the facial action, can be summoned at will. </p>
<p>There are also important differences in timing. Natural expressions last a few seconds, but control over facial actions means you can also control how long it shows on your face. The characteristic muscle movements in particular expressions are also not necessarily present in their faked counterparts. The genuine smile – named the “<a href="https://www.paulekman.com/blog/fake-smile-or-genuine-smile/">Duchenne Smile</a>” after its original scientific investigator – comprises muscle action around both the eyes and mouth. An obligatory grin tends to activate mouth muscles only. So, it seems like “<a href="https://eu.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/talkingyourtech/2012/12/25/tyra-banks-talking-your-tech/1777819/">smizing”</a> – smiling with your eyes and your mouth – is the way to convince others you’re genuinely happy. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=362&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=362&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=362&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307960/original/file-20191219-11914-18e0bse.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A ‘Duchenne smile’ is natural and spontaneous, and involves contracting the eye and mouth muscles.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Cvxo1HvN-Fw">Kirschner Amao/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=5e5FBQAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA269&dq=ekman+1977+display+rules&ots=iZcP-JM3WQ&sig=Zv56FvJejGQzou4UZtweJL8b1Qk#v=onepage&q=ekman%201977%20display%20rules&f=false">Several psychological processes</a> serve to adjust natural expressions to something more socially acceptable. “Masking” is when a real expression is covered by a fake one, and “simulation” describes an instance where a false expression is substituted for an inappropriate emotional display, like laughing at a joke that you secretly don’t get. People keep a “straight face” when they’re trying to hide or neutralise their true feelings. But this involves effort for the brain and the body – so why do people bother?</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/is-newborn-smiling-really-just-a-reflex-research-is-challenging-the-textbooks-105220">Is newborn smiling really just a reflex? Research is challenging the textbooks</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>The answer may lie in <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=rr8e5oMlj44C&oi=fnd&pg=PA103&ots=ws4UaXM70n&sig=MvQ-fXsKScAUeP5O2LlDUsFMhF0#v=onepage&q&f=false">theories of facial expression</a> that ignore the importance of a person’s emotional state. These theories emphasise the social environment and suggest that interpersonal signals, intentions and shared social contact dominate how and why people use their expressive faces. And this makes sense when it’s assumed that facial displays take place in front of an audience, real or imagined. In other words, why communicate, if there’s no one to communicate with? So the real question seems to revolve around who our facial expressions are for.</p>
<p>Put this into a Christmas context, and your choices are clearer. You can focus on the “truth” of your thoughts and feelings – your face will betray these anyway, albeit briefly. But perhaps you prioritise peace and goodwill in your family gatherings instead, in which case, the unwritten rules of social interaction take precedence. We often say it’s the thought that counts, so maybe you can hold that smile for just a little while longer.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/129047/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Elisabeth Blagrove does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Humans spend a lot of time during social occasions masking their real emotions. Why?
Elisabeth Blagrove, Senior Teaching Fellow in Psychology, University of Warwick
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/128506
2019-12-16T18:49:35Z
2019-12-16T18:49:35Z
The science of gift wrapping explains why sloppy is better
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/306880/original/file-20191213-85371-j8w27u.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=333%2C217%2C4842%2C3174&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Americans spend a lot of money on gift wrapping supplies. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">ronstik/Shutterstock.com</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>They say appearances can be deceiving. In the case of gift giving, they might be right. </p>
<p>Consumers in the U.S. <a href="https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/gift-wrapping-products-market">spend billions of dollars</a> a year on wrapping gifts, in most cases to make their presents look as good as possible. This includes money spent on paper, boxes, ribbon and pretty bows. </p>
<p>While some people are <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/3066513/secrets-of-a-professional-gift-wrapper">particularly skilled</a> at gift wrapping – with the perfect folds, carefully tied ribbons and bows – others aren’t quite cut out for it, and <a href="https://myria.com/holiday-celebrations-wrap-star-gift-wrapping-survey-stats">apparently would prefer</a> washing dishes or cleaning the house. </p>
<p>Two colleagues and <a href="https://business.vanderbilt.edu/bio/erick-mas/">I wondered</a> whether all that time and effort is actually worth it. Does a beautiful presentation actually lead to a better-liked gift? Or is it the other way around?</p>
<h2>Sloppy versus neat</h2>
<p>In a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jcpy.1140">2019 paper published</a> by the Journal of Consumer Psychology, University of Nevada, Reno professors <a href="https://www.unr.edu/business/people/marketing-faculty/jessica-rixom">Jessica Rixom</a> and <a href="https://www.unr.edu/business/people/accounting-faculty/brett-rixom">Brett Rixom</a> and I conducted three experiments to explore the impact of gift wrapping.</p>
<p>In the first experiment, we recruited 180 university students to come to a behavioral lab in Miami to participate in a research study described as an extra credit exercise. Upon arrival, each student was given an actual gift as a token of appreciation for their participation. </p>
<p>The gift was a coffee mug with the logo of one of two NBA basketball teams, the local Miami Heat or rival Orlando Magic, handed out at random. We knew that every participant was a fan of the Heat based on a prior survey – and that they explicitly didn’t support the Magic. The purpose was to ensure that we were giving half of the students a desirable gift, while the other half received something they did not want. </p>
<p>Finally, half of the gifts were wrapped neatly, while the rest looked slapdash. </p>
<p>After unwrapping, participants evaluated how much they liked their gifts. We found that those who received a sloppily wrapped gift liked their present significantly more than those who received a neatly wrapped gift – regardless of which mug they got.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=239&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=239&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=239&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306435/original/file-20191211-95165-3480qz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Which one would you prefer?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Managing expectations</h2>
<p>To understand why, we recruited another set of students and asked them to view an image of either a neatly or sloppily wrapped gift and report their expectations about it prior to seeing what was inside. </p>
<p>Participants were then told to imagine opening the gift – which for everyone was a pair of JVC earbuds – and rate their actual attitudes toward it, allowing us to compare whether it matched their expectations or not. </p>
<p>Results showed that expectations were significantly higher for the neatly wrapped gifts compared with sloppily wrapped ones. However, after the reveal, participants receiving the neatly wrapped gift reported that it failed to live up to their expectations, while those who got the sloppily wrapped gift said it surpassed their expectations. </p>
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<p>This suggests that people use the wrapping as a cue to how good the gift will be. Neat wrapping sets the bar for the gift too high, intimating that it will be a great present. Sloppy wrapping, on the other hand, sets low expectations, suggesting it’ll be a bad gift. </p>
<p>So a sloppily wrapped gift leads to pleasant surprise, while one that’s neat-looking results in disappointment.</p>
<h2>Friends versus acquaintances</h2>
<p>In our third and final experiment, we wanted to zero in on whether this effect depended on the relationship between the gift-giver and recipient. Does it matter if the giver is a close friend or just an acquaintance?</p>
<p>We surveyed a nationally representative sample of 261 adults and asked them to imagine being at a party with a secret gift exchange. At random, participants viewed images and imagined receiving either a neatly or sloppily wrapped gift. This time, we instructed half of them to imagine the gift was from a close friend, while the other half believed it came from an acquaintance. Then we revealed the gift and asked them to rate it. </p>
<p>When it came from a close friend, recipients ended up liking the sloppily wrapped gift more, just like in our other experiments. However, when the gift came from an acquaintance, recipients preferred it when it was neatly wrapped. This occurs because these participants used the wrapping as a cue to how much the gift-giver values their relationship – rather than to signal what’s inside. Neat wrapping implies the giver values their relationship.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/306881/original/file-20191213-85386-1wtkbdc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">If it’s for a friend, it may not be worth the effort.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Efetova Anna/Shutterstock.com</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>A pleasant surprise</h2>
<p>So if you’re stressing over gift wrapping this holiday season, consider saving yourself time, effort and money by wrapping your friends’ and family’s gifts haphazardly. </p>
<p>But if you’re planning to give a gift to someone you don’t know quite as well – a work colleague, for example – it’s probably worth it to show you put in some effort to make it look good with all of the neat folds, crisp edges and beautiful bows. </p>
<p>I, for one, am taking these results to heart. From now on, I’ll only wrap my wife’s gifts sloppily so she’ll always be pleasantly surprised no matter how good – or bad – the gift is.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/128506/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Erick M. Mas does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
A new study looks at the impact a gift’s wrapping has on how the recipient likes what you give them.
Erick M. Mas, Postdoctoral Fellow in Marketing, Vanderbilt University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/108132
2019-01-07T11:41:53Z
2019-01-07T11:41:53Z
The bizarre phenomenon of vacation surprise videos
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/252704/original/file-20190107-32142-1t7w9f2.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Sometimes the reaction doesn't go as planned.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGhuLkjl4iI">Lily & Chloe Official/YouTube</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Parents have long surprised their kids with a family vacation. </p>
<p>However, the practice of parents recording their kids’ reactions – and then sharing them online – is a unique phenomenon of the social media age. </p>
<p>In the days after Christmas, you may have seen some of these videos on your social media feeds. In fact, a YouTube search for “surprise trip for kids” yields millions of videos. </p>
<p>But for every excited kid, there’s one who’s crying, screaming or simply perplexed.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/e7UVSfHmQvY?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Kids react with skepticism upon learning they’ll be going to Disneyland.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=cYOUU4EAAAAJ&hl=en">As a consumer sociologist</a>, I study how technology provides new ways to meet people’s needs, and how families navigate relationships through social media. </p>
<p>In <a href="https://www.emeraldinsight.com/doi/abs/10.1108/YC-08-2017-00728">a recent study</a>, I analyzed 139 surprise vacation reveal videos on YouTube. </p>
<p>I wanted to know how kids tend to react, why they might react differently than expected, and why parents might feel compelled to post these reactions online for the world to see. </p>
<h2>A parental performance</h2>
<p>There seems to be a growing realization that today’s “must-have” toy will be tomorrow’s yard sale markdown.</p>
<p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614546556">Research has shown</a> that more people are buying gifts that give others the opportunity to experience something new. Instead of getting their kids dolls or video games, parents might instead give them tickets to a concert or season passes to a theme park.</p>
<p>Family vacation gifts can both create quality family time and give kids the opportunity to experience something new. </p>
<p>All of this is well and good. </p>
<p>But how to explain the compulsion to record and share these surprises?</p>
<p>Surprise family vacation videos are a form of “<a href="https://scholarship.law.ufl.edu/facultypub/779/">sharenting</a>,” a term coined to describe the way some parents share the day-to-day details of their children’s lives on social media.</p>
<p>But they evoke clips of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09589236.2017.1287066">gender reveals</a>, in which parents-to-be gather friends and family to announce the sex of their future child, often using gimmicks like cutting into a cake or setting off a smoke bomb colored pink or blue to indicate the gender. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="InstagramEmbed" data-react-props="{"url":"https://www.instagram.com/p/BVqPFQDAgyb","accessToken":"127105130696839|b4b75090c9688d81dfd245afe6052f20"}"></div></p>
<p>They also bring to mind videos of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1750635213476407?casa_token=noe8psOxm3YAAAAA%3AJpg-m2Q8yCuBV0zUIePmm56Py1UcxaUFdcG9U8ifUgkFfsoMpUts9Dz6KBPN7U6Ik4264Ocf1ZYC">soldier homecomings</a>, during which active duty soldiers return from deployment to surprise their loved ones. And they mimic the phenomenon of <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/unboxing-this-years-hot-toy-the-lol-surprise/2017/11/06/80172b32-b436-11e7-a908-a3470754bbb9_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.80b3673cbe0b">unboxing videos</a>, in which consumers record their own commentary as they open, unpack and test new products, from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_MmxV2vNs8">Apple iPhones</a> to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6ajo5u8-Gw">live reptiles</a>. </p>
<p>Neuroscience might tell us why these clips are so attractive to social media users: Positive surprises trigger <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=116829&page=1">pleasure centers</a> in the human brain. We both crave the unexpected and <a href="https://www.wnyc.org/story/surprise-unexpected-why-it-feels-good-and-why-its-good-us/">feel compelled</a> to surprise others in positive ways.</p>
<p>For parents, social media is a stage: They can immortalize the vacation in family lore and allow online viewers to vicariously follow along. Parents become both directors and performers as the drama unfolds, sometimes going so far as to plan elaborate <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/66991113182321639/">scavenger hunts</a> and <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/542348364/were-going-to-custom-wooden-puzzle?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=vacation+puzzle&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1">puzzles</a> to heighten the drama of the eventual reveal. </p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XftoNaAeR-I?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Teenage sisters surprised by Christmas trip to Europe.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>When – and why – the surprise fails</h2>
<p>With everything in place, all eyes – and lenses – turn to the kids. The final step is for them to react as expected: overjoyed.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen.</p>
<p>From analyzing the videos in my study, two main issues seem to lead to a “surprise vacation fail.” </p>
<p>First, kids’ preferences aren’t so predictable.</p>
<p>For example, when one family <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcgNBezKyZQ&t=81s&list=PL7IXZ9xuT0-wO1VGsKBLwuJJhlfavjbfC&index=35">surprises</a> their kids with a trip to Disney World, their son says he’d rather go to Chuck E. Cheese. </p>
<p>“We could have saved a lot more money had I known!” his exasperated mother responds. </p>
<p>Theme parks and cruises might seem like they’d be at the top of kids’ dream vacation destinations. But children may prefer more mundane, ordinary trips. Some parents will use a bait-and-switch tactic – telling their kids they’re going to Grandma’s house, only to reveal that they’re actually going to Universal Studios. </p>
<p>What if the kid would rather just see Grandma?</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OOpOhlGiRTM?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">A girl bursts into tears upon hearing she’ll be going to Disneyland.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Second, a surprise trip that comes out of nowhere – without any sort of forewarning – can be anxiety-inducing for kids. They might have a fear of flying, or a fear of the unknown. Concerns that might seem like no big deal to adults – Who will watch the dog? Can they bring their favorite blanket? What happens if they miss school? – can be daunting, especially for younger kids caught up in the moment.</p>
<p>Research suggests <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02508281.2013.11081742">family vacations can be stressful</a>, especially for families with young children. The planning, the packing, the logistics – all of it falls on the shoulders of the parent, with little input from the children.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mhP4jOaBdzA?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">A little girl is concerned about missing her ‘special day.’</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Adding an element of surprise can add to the pressure placed on parents. Then throw social media into the mix, and the “perfect” vacation becomes that much more difficult to attain.</p>
<p>In many videos, you can hear the tension in the parents’ voices as they cheerily try to play up the trip to a stunned kid.</p>
<p>For parents, it’s probably important to remember that even if the surprise reveal is a flop, it doesn’t mean the trip will be.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/108132/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jenna Drenten does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
With the surprise meticulously planned, all eyes – and lenses – turn to the kids. All they have to do is react as expected: overjoyed. So why don’t they?
Jenna Drenten, Assistant Professor of Marketing, Loyola University Chicago
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/107495
2018-12-13T22:13:15Z
2018-12-13T22:13:15Z
Kids with enough stuff disappointed about presents? Modelling limits is the gift
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307724/original/file-20191218-11896-gfkacs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C93%2C4920%2C2917&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Be mindful of what you get excited about, as children will model your lead.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Disappointment is a natural human emotion that occurs after a perceived failure. For our young children, this perceived failure can look like not getting the toy they wanted, not being invited to a classmate’s birthday party or losing their favourite stuffed animal. </p>
<p>It is essential for children’s mental health, well-being and overall development that they experience how to <a href="http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/dissappointment.pdf">deal with disappointment well</a>. But this can be difficult for parents to handle, particularly around holidays that have grown to involve consumerism, gift-giving and expectations. </p>
<p>North American culture often mistakenly links love and happiness with material goods such as toys; the Santa story promises magical wish fulfilment. This can cause conflict for parents when children do not get the “right” gift. </p>
<p>On holidays, there’s social and personal pressure to provide happiness and joy to children through material objects, which can be confused with providing the necessities. For parents who do not have the resources to provide the perfect or desired gift this can cause additional stress, shame, guilt and fear around disappointment.</p>
<p>Parents may feel as though they have let down their child and that they have impacted the child’s experience or memory of their “special day.” </p>
<p>This is especially true if the child has difficulty with or is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01319934">learning to regulate emotions</a> and <a href="https://www.nasponline.org/Documents/Resources%20and%20Publications/Handouts/Families%20and%20Educators/Temper_Tantrums_Guidelines_for_Parents_and_Edcuators.pdf">expresses disappointment through tantrums</a> or sulking. </p>
<p>These behaviours can affect parents profoundly, often leading them to feel badly about themselves or that the child does not love them. </p>
<h2>Focus on traditions over gifts</h2>
<p>The holiday season should be about love, connection and spending time together. This is at the core of all family traditions and what children will remember and bring with them as they develop and eventually have their own families. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-164381.pdf">Traditions and rituals are important</a> for creating meaning and a sense of belonging. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Family traditions can create seasonal rhythms that bring joy.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Being a part of something greater than yourself or your immediate family and creating positive loving memories and security are all important for children’s emotional, social and cognitive development. </p>
<p>To help children understand the true meaning of a holiday season, you might delve more into your own traditions. Or you might like to create new family traditions that provide opportunities to connect with each other and your wider community. </p>
<p>Experiences such as baking for others and donating to a food bank or toy drive can help children to understand that the holidays are for making a positive difference.</p>
<h2>Emphasize giving, not receiving</h2>
<p>Changing our focus from giving rather than receiving can help our children develop and appreciate the strength in gratitude. </p>
<p>Research has linked <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good">gratitude to significant health and wellness benefits</a> such as improving self-esteem, improving sleep and developing empathy. </p>
<p>The other thing to know is that although disappointment feels awful, it is a part of life and is actually a positive and healthy emotion that’s central to children’s emotional, cognitive and social development throughout their lives.</p>
<p>Parents naturally try to protect their children from pain, to make them feel better from what we deem as negative emotions such as anger, sadness and disappointment. </p>
<p>But it is important for us to equip them with the tools to manage special day and day-to-day disappointments. Because ultimately, as they grow older, those disappointing moments in life become more profound.</p>
<p>When parents support children in dealing with disappointment it can lead to the development of <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1991-98760-000">adaptation</a> and <a href="https://www.beststart.org/resources/hlthy_chld_dev/pdf/BSRC_Resilience_English_fnl.pdf">resilience</a>, which are both important for children in order for them to bounce back from difficult experiences throughout life.</p>
<p>Here are some more ways you can help children deal with disappointment:</p>
<h2>1. Acknowledge your child’s feelings</h2>
<p>Let them know that you understand. It is important to label and validate children’s feelings. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Be mindful of what you get excited about; children will model your lead.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Tell your child that you recognize why they are feeling disappointed and that it’s OK to express this emotion.</p>
<p>In order for children to develop a positive sense of self, empathy and social skills, <a href="https://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/mental-health-matters/social-and-emotional-learning/emotional-development/feelings-matter">they need to be able to feel, label and talk about all feelings</a>.</p>
<h2>2. Share your own disappointments</h2>
<p>Often when children are disappointed about not receiving what they wanted, they also feel badly because they are told to feel fortunate and thankful for what they have. </p>
<p>To encourage children to embrace and express their emotions, it is helpful to share a story of a time when you also felt disappointments. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The pony that never arrived.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Perhaps you can remember a holiday when you were young, when you too were disappointed over a dream gift that never arrived. Empathize with your child’s emotional experience to remind them that they are not alone and that their emotions are valid.</p>
<h2>3. Be mindful, stay present</h2>
<p>It’s always important, but especially during the holiday season, to be intentional about the expectations you set for your children. Instead of talking about the gifts under the tree, you could talk about the fun they will have with friends and family during your holiday traditions.</p>
<p>Be present through the disappointment and the behaviour. Disappointment can feel awful for children. The emotion and the behaviour will pass and your child will be stronger and more resilient when they know the boundaries. </p>
<h2>4. Don’t label your child</h2>
<p>During this time, it is important to be mindful of your own language and attitudes. Don’t say: “You’re acting like a baby.”</p>
<p>Although it is difficult, try not to label your child, even if the label describes what he or she has done. You can use questions to motivate change, such as “Are your actions safe?” or “Are your words kind?”</p>
<p>The holiday season brings out the best and worst in all of us, and if we want to support our child’s growth and development it is important that we help them learn to manage and deal with their disappointments everyday. </p>
<p>Through loving, caring relationships our children will always grow and prosper.</p>
<p>[ <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/ca/newsletters?utm_source=TCCA&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=thanksforreading">Thanks for reading! We can send you The Conversation’s stories every day in an informative email. Sign up today.</a></em> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/107495/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Hide the credit cards and instead build traditions with your kids. Supporting a child through gift disappointment is important to their emotional, cognitive and social development.
Nikki Martyn, Program Head of Early Childhood Studies, University of Guelph-Humber
Elena Merenda, Assistant Program Head of Early Childhood Studies, University of Guelph-Humber
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/100009
2018-07-18T19:29:45Z
2018-07-18T19:29:45Z
No presents, please: how gift cards initiate children into the world of ‘credit’
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/227922/original/file-20180717-44085-vlm63e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Most Australian children have such a glut of toys that parents are opting to give them gift cards so they can choose for themselves.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/garfoiLnBCc">rawpixel/Unsplash</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Western children have more toys, games and possessions than ever before. And Australia has one of the highest rates of <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/750787/global-toy-market-average-spend/">average spending per child on toys</a>. Faced with a glut of children’s toys at home, more and more parents are presenting <a href="https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/managing-your-money/banking/different-ways-to-pay/gift-cards">gift cards</a> in lieu of presents.</p>
<p>Gift cards neatly bridge the risk between giving a tangible present, which might be returned or exchanged, and giving cash, which some cultures consider impersonal.</p>
<p>Children, and often very young children, are themselves asking for gift cards so they can choose their own presents. However, children process information very differently from adults. As a result, giving gift cards to children has implications for how they make consumer-related decisions and how they spend the “credit” a gift card provides.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/what-should-we-tell-our-children-about-money-39686">What should we tell our children about money?</a>
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<h2>How do young children decide on a purchase?</h2>
<p>Children have a limited ability to process certain types of information. They tend to pay more attention to visual and auditory stimuli rather than textual information. At a very basic level, children are <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/mar.4220110307">more easily influenced by colour and movement</a>.</p>
<p>In terms of the developmental stages identified by Jean Piaget, children do not reach “<a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/formal-operational-stage-of-cognitive-development-2795459">formal operations</a>” until around 11 or 12 years of age. Only then do they develop more abstract thinking and the ability to apply logic to all types of problems, including those inherent in purchase decisions and financial transactions. It is generally accepted that children are not “consumer literate” until they reach this stage of development. </p>
<p>There is evidence that children, particularly those under the age of seven, have a limited ability to detect the advertising content in a message. Indeed, they may <a href="http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/140/Supplement_2/S152">regard an advertisement as just another type of program</a>. They see advertisements as a type of information service to help people know what to buy and where to buy it. </p>
<p>It’s important to note that many children may <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0093650213479129">not be able to understand the persuasive intent of advertising</a>. To add to the problem, animated and other characters in children’s movies are increasingly merchandised as toys. An array of products, including foods and confectionery, is also being “placed” in movie content. </p>
<p>Depending on their age, children might not be able to discern the selling strategies being used here, nor appreciate that such content is not passive. </p>
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<em>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/children-are-far-from-protected-from-junk-food-ads-especially-on-social-media-92382">Children are far from protected from junk food ads – especially on social media</a>
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<h2>Gift cards represent ‘credit’</h2>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=640&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=640&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=640&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=805&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=805&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227929/original/file-20180717-44103-ev6ue1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=805&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">A child who receives a gift card must effectively manage the credit amount on that card.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-beautiful-girl-holding-blank-credit-131862209?src=sML-g2zrbwaWVAXeUIxWtg-1-81">paffy/Shutterstock</a></span>
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<p>There are hundreds of different types of gift cards for use in retail stores or online. Popular gift cards for children can be exchanged for music and online games. </p>
<p>Australians spend around <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/money/saving/australians-waste-70m-a-year-on-unused-gift-cards-20170729-gxl9hi.html">A$2.5 billion a year on gift cards</a>. A gift card comes with responsibility for managing the “credit” that it bestows, and for children this is an important consideration. However, almost one-third of consumers (including children) who are gifted a card never actually exchange it for goods or services.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/gift-cards-often-end-up-in-the-bin-but-extending-their-life-might-not-help-85592">Gift cards often end up in the bin, but extending their life might not help</a>
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<p>Young children also face the dilemma of overspending or underspending when they redeem the card. Overspending happens when the child selects a product that exceeds the value of the gift card and has to negotiate with their parents or carer to make up the difference, or decide on a different purchase. Conversely, they might select an item that costs less than the amount of the card, and not understand terms and conditions such as non-transference of value or non-cash redemption. </p>
<p>These scenarios can be problematic for adults, let alone children. Research shows that <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00913367.1987.10673059">“disclaimers” are not well understood by children</a>. This has implications for how effectively children can manage the notion of “credit”.</p>
<p>Another consideration is the <a href="https://argosforbusiness.co.uk/blog/the-rise-of-digital-gift-cards/">rise in digital gift cards and e-vouchers</a>. Although many young children are digitally literate, the digital format may present additional challenges for young consumers. </p>
<p>Because digital cards are sent electronically to the recipient, or in the case of a young child to their parents, in this situation children do not receive any sort of tangible gift. What impact does this have on nurturing gratitude and appreciation in young children?</p>
<h2>Dear Santa</h2>
<p><a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/01650250143000481">Researchers in the UK</a> looked at the content of children’s letters to Santa and found a link between the amount and type of advertising they were exposed to, as well as their age. Children exposed to more advertising were more likely to include requests for branded items than children who watched less advertising. </p>
<p>Will we see more letters to Santa asking for gift cards? Probably. These cards continue to grow in popularity as gifts for young people, particularly at Christmas.</p>
<p>An Australian Youth Forum survey found some younger Australians are <a href="https://treasury.gov.au/publication/gift-cards-in-the-australian-market-report-2/gift-cards-in-the-australian-market-report/part-ii-the-australian-gift-card-market/">using gift cards in lieu of credit cards</a>. The <a href="https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/more-parents-giving-kids-credit-cards.php">number of children given access to their parents’ credit cards</a> is also growing. Children as young as eight and nine are being authorised to use credit cards. These young consumers might often not know the difference between a credit card and gift card.</p>
<p>Children do not have the cognitive skills to evaluate the marketing messages for toys and other products with the same scepticism as adults. Nor do they have the maturity to make many of the decisions required for spending the “credit” from gift cards. This makes them a particularly vulnerable group.</p>
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<p>
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<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/what-happens-when-companies-remove-expiry-dates-on-gift-cards-93369">What happens when companies remove expiry dates on gift cards?</a>
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<img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/100009/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Many children receive gift cards or even ask for them so they can choose their own presents. But are youngsters ready to handle the wiles of advertisers and the complexities of ‘credit’ on a card?
Louise Grimmer, Lecturer in Marketing, Tasmanian School of Business and Economics, University of Tasmania
Martin Grimmer, Professor of Marketing, Tasmanian School of Business and Economics, University of Tasmania
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/88461
2017-12-14T23:40:07Z
2017-12-14T23:40:07Z
’Tis the season to redesign and reduce our waste
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198902/original/file-20171213-31721-53p7ts.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C3430%2C2274&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Canadians double their waste output during the holiday season.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The holiday season has a waste problem. </p>
<p>On average, <a href="http://www.conferenceboard.ca/hcp/provincial/environment/waste.aspx">each Canadian produces 720 kilograms</a> of municipal waste — more than the per capita output in the United States and <a href="http://www.conferenceboard.ca/hcp/Details/Environment/municipal-waste-generation.aspx">double what is produced in Japan</a>. And over the holidays, <a href="http://www.nature.com/news/environment-waste-production-must-peak-this-century-1.14032">our waste volumes double</a>.</p>
<p>Think about it: We’re each throwing out several additional <em>kilos</em> of holiday food, plastic packaging, foil wrapping and household goods each day. </p>
<p>Reducing waste this holiday season requires a whole new approach, a complete redesign of how we plan and celebrate this time of year. </p>
<p>Design can help us create a different future — and a new way of thinking about the holidays that takes aim at the way we consume day-to-day. </p>
<h2>Take back the tinsel</h2>
<p>Waste management costs Canadian taxpayers several billion dollars each year. During the holidays, we are paying to buy new stuff and then paying some more to take away the castoffs and detritus of Christmas. </p>
<p>We’re not even doing it right. Municipal employees have indicated that consumers don’t know how to deal with shiny, crinkly Christmas stuff that’s not part of everyday recycling. Tree ornaments, gift wrapping and the unwanted Elves on the Shelves wind up in the wrong bins. </p>
<p>According to the <a href="https://www.rcbc.ca/files/u3/med_xmaswaste2007.pdf">Recycling Council of British Columbia</a>, an estimated 545,000 tonnes of waste is generated in Canada from gift-wrapping and shopping bags alone. It estimates that if each Canadian family simply cut down on their waste by just one kilogram for the two-week holiday, 34,000 tonnes of garbage would be eliminated. </p>
<h2>Food fright</h2>
<p>We also tend to overbuy, bake and cook over the holidays. What doesn’t get eaten winds up in the trash — or the green bin if your municipality supports a composting program. In Canada, we throw out $31 billion in food per year. While a good portion of that comes from restaurants and grocery stores, 47 per cent of food waste it generated by consumers. </p>
<p>Following the holiday break, <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/what-edmontonians-need-to-know-about-recycling-christmas-trash-1.3913282">municipal waste authorities</a> describe finding whole turkeys in the garbage, large amounts of baked goods and mountains of leftovers from holiday parties. </p>
<p>If all the extra organic refuse is not diverted or captured, it winds up in a landfill where it produces methane, a greenhouse gas that is far more potent than carbon dioxide. </p>
<p>We’re not just throwing away food, but also money. In its <a href="http://vcm-international.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Food-Waste-in-Canada-27-Billion-Revisited-Dec-10-2014.pdf">most recent food waste report</a>, Value Chain Management International estimates that the value of our food waste is “higher than the combined GDP of the 29 poorest countries.” </p>
<p>The waste numbers are alarming, not only because they are huge but because they are unnecessary. Yet they’re a direct consequence of our consumer lifestyles where the preference is for new things, especially at Christmas. </p>
<h2>Redesign the holidays</h2>
<p>To change our waste, we need to celebrate the holidays with an entirely new approach. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.creativityatwork.com/design-thinking-strategy-for-innovation/">Thinking with design</a> challenges us to create new directions by transforming our understanding of the materials around us. Redesigning our holidays can reduce waste, but most importantly, the action can help us make sense of how these substances — turkey, paper, tinsel and bows — act in the world. </p>
<p>The best way to begin redesigning the holidays is to prepare to do a <a href="https://discardstudies.com/2016/02/21/how-to-do-a-household-waste-audit-and-why/">waste audit</a>. An audit takes into account all of the waste generated by a specific event, such as a holiday dinner party. </p>
<p>The objective of a waste audit is to assess the volume and types of materials ending up in the garbage such as plastics, textiles and hazardous wastes, including batteries. Some municipalities have seasonal tips and information to help, such as Metro Vancouver’s campaign to <a href="http://www.metrovancouver.org/christmas">Create Memories Not Garbage</a>. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=312&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=312&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=312&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=392&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=392&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198895/original/file-20171213-31679-19579rd.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=392&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Is this what you want your holiday memories to look like?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Jennifer Poohachoff)</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
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<p>Redesign your holiday dinner menu so that it generates <a href="https://earth911.com/living-well-being/zero-food-waste-how-to/">zero food waste</a>. Cook with recipes that use food waste and make it tasty. <a href="https://food52.com/recipes/38604-apple-peel-tea">Brew a winter tea</a> with fruit peels, make a soup from vegetable scraps or bake a <a href="http://foodthinkers.com/stale-bread-to-coconut-chocolate-pudding/">pudding</a> from leftover party bread. </p>
<p>There are many <a href="https://www.lovefoodhatewaste.com/">recipes on the internet</a>, old ideas that previous generations knew well. </p>
<p>Redesign gift giving. Again, this requires attention to the materials you use to keep your gifts under wraps until the big reveal. Gift wrap in the garbage can be completely eliminated by <a href="http://www.alternativesjournal.ca/community/blogs/sustainable-aj/8-simple-ways-reduce-your-gift-wrap-waste">doing a few simple things</a>. </p>
<p>Re-use paper or newspapers that you decorate yourself, or give the gift in a holiday cloth bag that can be re-used for several years. They’re easy to <a href="http://foodfunfamily.com/diy-reusable-fabric-gift-bags/">make yourself</a>, or pick one up at a local Christmas fair. </p>
<p>If you must use new gift wrap, opt for paper (not foils) and avoid the plastic bows, ribbons and foil to make recycling easy. </p>
<p>Beyond the wrapping, what about the package? </p>
<p>Aim to buy gifts that have no packaging or packaging that can be recycled by your community. Before you buy, look at the recycling numbers. </p>
<p>You can also reduce your shopping time and money spent by making gifts at home. Fill mason jars with your favourite <a href="https://www.thespruce.com/how-to-make-cookies-in-a-jar-1244646">cookie jar mix</a> or other food from local farmers and businesses.</p>
<p>Finally, when you are out shopping, resist the holiday disposable cup, an especially problematic piece of waste that is only a moment in use but hard to recycle with its mixed plastic and paper. </p>
<p>Holiday customs have changed over the decades and vary from household to household. However, at this time in our history, reducing waste must become a new tradition. A shift in our holiday traditions to place greater value on materials would make our ancestors proud and future generations thankful.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/88461/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Pamela Tudge receives funding from FRQSC, Fonds de recherche sociéte de culture Quebec
</span></em></p>
Canadians are a wasteful bunch, especially during the holidays. Redesign your holidays this year to cut back on garbage and food waste.
Pamela Tudge, PhD candidate in Interdisciplinary Studies and Fine Arts, Concordia University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/88462
2017-12-12T12:01:41Z
2017-12-12T12:01:41Z
An anthropologist explains why we love holiday rituals and traditions
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198652/original/file-20171211-9416-zprbag.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=271%2C0%2C4072%2C2944&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Working together on a once-a-year project feels festive and special.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/christmas-gingerbread-making-friends-decorating-freshly-747353851">Flotsam/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The mere thought of holiday traditions brings smiles to most people’s faces and elicits feelings of sweet anticipation and nostalgia. We can almost smell those candles, taste those special meals, hear those familiar songs in our minds.</p>
<p>Ritual marks some of the most important moments in our lives, from personal milestones like birthdays and weddings to seasonal celebrations like Thanksgiving and religious holidays like Christmas or Hanukkah. And the more important the moment, the fancier the ritual.</p>
<p>Holiday rituals are bursting with sensory pageantry. These (often quite literal) bells and whistles signal to all of our senses that this is no common occasion – it is one full of significance and meaning. Such sensory exuberance helps create lasting recollections of those occasions and marks them in our memory as special events worth cherishing.</p>
<p>Indeed, there are plenty of reasons to value family rituals. Research shows that they can provide various psychological benefits, helping us enjoy ourselves, connect with loved ones and take a respite from the daily grind.</p>
<h2>An anxiety buffer</h2>
<p>Everyday life is stressful and full of uncertainty. Having a special time of the year when we know exactly what to do, the way we’ve always done it, provides a comfortable sense of structure, control and stability.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=753&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=753&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=753&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=946&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=946&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198607/original/file-20171211-27714-6zi5l3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=946&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">A holiday toast can have special weight.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/dmcordell/4232251244">diane cordell</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span>
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<p>From reciting blessings to raising a glass to make a toast, holiday traditions are replete with rituals. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.obhdp.2016.07.004">Laboratory experiments</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1548-1433.2010.01305.x">field studies</a> show that the structured and repetitive actions involved in such rituals can act as a buffer against anxiety by making our world a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2015.05.049">more predictable place</a>.</p>
<p>Many of those rituals may of course also be performed at other times throughout the year. But during the holiday season, they become more meaningful. They’re held in a special place (the family home) and with a special group of people (our closest relatives and friends). For this reason, more people <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/alexandratalty/2016/02/26/the-busiest-holiday-to-travel-on-is/#5780696f5e74">travel during the year-end holidays</a> than any other time of the year. Gathering together from far-flung locations helps people leave their worries behind, and at the same time lets them reconnect with time-honored family traditions.</p>
<h2>Happy meals</h2>
<p>No holiday tradition would be complete without a festive meal. Since the first humans gathered around the fire to roast their hunt, <a href="https://harvardmagazine.com/2009/11/cooking-and-human-evolution">cooking has been one of the defining characteristics</a> of our species. </p>
<p>The long hours spent in the kitchen and the dining room during the preparation and consumption of holiday meals serve some of the <a href="https://digitalcommons.wku.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=https://www.google.com/&httpsredir=1&article=1357&context=stu_hon_theses">same social functions</a> as the hearths of our early ancestors. Sharing a ceremonial meal symbolizes community, brings the entire family together around the table and smooths the way for conversation and connection.</p>
<p>All cultures have rituals that revolve around food and meal preparation. Jewish tradition dictates that all food must be chosen and prepared according to specific rules (Kosher). In parts of the Middle East and India, only the right hand must be used for eating. And in many European countries, it is important to lock eyes while making a toast in order to avoid seven years of bad sex.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198651/original/file-20171211-9426-446qps.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Hosts pull out all the stops for over-the-top holiday feasts.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/NKJAaEGC-B4">+Simple on Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Of course, special occasions require special meals. So most cultures reserve their best and most elaborate dishes for the most important holidays. For example, in Mauritius, Tamil Hindus serve the colorful <a href="https://musingsofavegfoodie.blog/2016/01/16/the-mauritian-sept-cari-a-journey-of-tradition-and-adaptation/">“seven curries”</a> at the conclusion of the Thaipussam kavadi festival, and in Greece families get together to spit-roast an entire lamb on Easter Day. And these recipes often include some secret ingredients – not just culinary, but also psychological.</p>
<p>Research shows that performing a ritual before a meal <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613478949">improves the eating experience</a> and makes the food (even just plain carrots!) seem tastier. Other studies found that when <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0022-3182(98)70339-5">children participate in food preparation</a> they enjoy the food more, and that the longer we spend preparing a meal, the more we <a href="https://doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.1777100">come to appreciate it</a>. In this way, the labor and fanfare associated with holiday meals virtually guarantees an enhanced gastronomical experience.</p>
<h2>Sharing is caring</h2>
<p>It is common to exchange presents during the holiday period. From a rational perspective, this might seem pointless, at best recycling resources or, at worst, wasting them. But don’t underestimate the importance of these exchanges. Anthropologists have noted that among many societies <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/115952/christmas-gift-exchange-anthropological-rules-beneath-it">ritualized gift-giving</a> plays a crucial role in maintaining social ties by creating networks of reciprocal relationships.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=457&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=457&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=457&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=574&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=574&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198604/original/file-20171211-10977-1dvh500.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=574&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Gifts under the tree can be a key component of Christmas celebrations.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/xjB7du_4kQQ">Andrew Neel on Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Today, many families give each other lists of desired presents for the holidays. The brilliance of this system lies precisely in the fact that most people end up getting what they would buy anyway – the money gets recycled but everyone still enjoys the satisfaction of giving and receiving gifts.</p>
<p>And as this is a special time of the year, we can even allow ourselves some guilt-free indulgence. Last year, my wife and I saw a fancy coffee machine that we really liked, but we decided it was too expensive. But in December, we went back and bought it as a mutual present, agreeing that it was OK to splurge a bit for the holidays.</p>
<h2>The stuff family is made of</h2>
<p>The most important function of holiday rituals is their role in maintaining and strengthening family ties. In fact, for relatives who live far apart, holiday rituals may be the glue that holds the family together.</p>
<p>Ritual is a powerful marker of identity and group membership. Some of my own field studies have found that taking part in collective rituals creates <a href="https://doi.org/10.1558/fiel.v9i1.53">feelings of belonging</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612472910">increased generosity</a> toward other members of the group. It’s no surprise, then, that spending the holidays with the in-laws for the first time is often regarded as a rite of passage – a sign of true family membership.</p>
<p>Holiday traditions are particularly important for children. Research shows that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2015.08.002">children who participate in group rituals</a> become more strongly affiliated with their peers. In addition, having more positive memories of family rituals seems to be associated with more <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1540-5834.00019">positive interactions with one’s own children</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/198624/original/file-20171211-9432-1er5fnk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Rituals and traditions can help make our memories of holidays good ones.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/GAJ4g8f7FBk">Darren Coleshill on Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Holiday rituals are the perfect recipe for family harmony. Sure, you might need to take three flights to get there, and they will almost certainly be delayed. And your uncle is bound to get drunk and start a political argument with his son-in-law again. But according to Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman, this is unlikely to spoil the overall experience. </p>
<p>Kahneman’s research shows that when we evaluate past experiences, we tend to remember the best moments and the last moments, paying little attention to everything else. This is known as the “<a href="http://www.vwl.tuwien.ac.at/hanappi/TEI/momentsfull.pdf">peak-end rule</a>.” </p>
<p>In other words, our memory of the family holiday will mostly consist of all the rituals (both joyful and silly), the good food, the presents and then hugging everyone goodbye at the end of the night (after your uncle made up with his son-in-law). And by the time you get back home, you’ll have something to look forward to for next year.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/88462/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dimitris Xygalatas does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Holiday traditions – whether culinary, religious, decorative or musical – help families bond and individuals feel stable and content.
Dimitris Xygalatas, Associate Professor in Anthropology and Psychology, University of Connecticut
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/78887
2017-06-20T01:33:20Z
2017-06-20T01:33:20Z
When – and why – did people first start using money?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174541/original/file-20170619-22092-tv9vnm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The advantages of coins as currency were clear.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Quart_de_shekel_de_la_cité_de_Sidon_en_Phénicie.jpg">cgb </a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Sometimes you run across a grimy, tattered dollar bill that seems like it’s been around since the beginning of time. Assuredly it hasn’t, but the history of human beings using cash currency does go back a long time – 40,000 years. </p>
<p>Scientists have tracked exchange and trade through the archaeological record, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.anthro.31.040402.085416">starting in Upper Paleolithic</a> when <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/283522a0">groups of hunters traded</a> for the best flint weapons and other tools. First, people bartered, making direct deals between two parties of desirable objects.</p>
<p>Money came a bit later. Its form has evolved over the millennia – from natural objects to coins to paper to digital versions. But whatever the format, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.anthro.35.081705.123127">human beings have long used currency</a> as <a href="http://www.jstor.org/stable/2802901">a means of exchange</a>, a method of payment, a standard of value, a store of wealth and a unit of account.</p>
<p>As an anthropologist who’s made discoveries of ancient currency in the field, I’m interested in how money evolved in human civilization – and what these archaeological finds can tell us about trade and interaction between far-flung groups.</p>
<h2>Why do people need currency?</h2>
<p>There are many theories about the origin of money, in part because money has many functions: It facilitates exchange as a measure of value; it brings diverse societies together by enabling gift-giving and reciprocity; it perpetuates social hierarchies; and finally, it is a medium of state power. It’s hard to accurately date interactions involving currency of various kinds, but evidence suggests they emerged from gift exchanges and debt repayments. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=238&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=238&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=238&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174546/original/file-20170619-28475-4rc2o7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Chinese shell money from 3,000 years ago.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chinese_shell_money_16th_8th_century_BCE.jpg">PHGCOM</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Objects that occurred rarely in nature and whose circulation could be efficiently controlled <a href="https://www.mhpbooks.com/books/debt/">emerged as units of value</a> for interactions and exchange. These included shells such as mother-of-pearl that were widely circulated in the Americas and cowry shells that were used in Africa, Europe, Asia and Australia. Native copper, meteorites or native iron, obsidian, amber, beads, copper, gold, silver and lead ingots have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0021853700026980">variously served as currency</a>. People even used <a href="https://doi.org/10.1525/ae.1992.19.2.02a00060">live animals such as cows</a> until relatively recent times <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0022050700085946">as a form of currency</a>.</p>
<p>The Mesopotamian shekel – the first known form of currency – emerged nearly 5,000 years ago. The earliest known mints <a href="http://www.jstor.org/stable/496935">date to 650 and 600 B.C. in Asia Minor</a>, where the elites of Lydia and Ionia used stamped silver and gold coins to pay armies.</p>
<p>The discovery of hordes of coins of lead, copper, silver and gold all over the globe suggests that coinage – especially in Europe, Asia and North Africa – was recognized as a medium of commodity money at the beginning of the first millennium A.D. The <a href="http://www.ucpress.edu/op.php?isbn=9780520055063">wide circulation of Roman</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/ehr/XC.CCCLVII.721">Islamic</a>, Indian and Chinese coins <a href="https://jhupbooks.press.jhu.edu/content/coinage-roman-economy-300-bc-ad-700">points to premodern commerce (1250 B.C. - A.D. 1450)</a>. </p>
<p>Coinage as commodity money owes its success largely to its portability, durability, transportability and inherent value. Additionally, political leaders could control the production of coins – from mining, smelting, minting - as well as their circulation and use. Other forms of wealth and money, such as cows, successfully served pastoral societies, but weren’t easy to transport – and of course were susceptible to ecological disasters.</p>
<p>Money soon became an instrument of political control. Taxes could be extracted to support the elite and armies could be raised. However, money could also act as a stabilizing force that fostered nonviolent exchanges of goods, information and services within and between groups.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=334&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=334&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=334&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=420&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=420&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174545/original/file-20170619-22085-tlsmfu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=420&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Medieval English tally sticks recorded transactions and monetary debts.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Medieval_tally_sticks.jpg">Winchester City Council Museums</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Throughout history <a href="http://www.jstor.org/stable/2802901">money has acted as a record</a>, a memory of transactions and interactions. For instance, medieval Europeans widely <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/how-would-you-like-to-pay">used tally sticks as evidence for remembering debt</a>.</p>
<h2>Follow the money to see the trade routes</h2>
<p>In the past, as today, no society was completely self-sustaining, and money allowed people to interact with other groups. People used different forms of currency to mobilize resources, reduce risks and create alliances and friendships in response to specific social and political conditions. The abundance and nearly universal evidence of movement of exotic goods over diverse regions inhabited by people who were independent of each other – from hunter-gatherers to pastoralists, to farmers and city dwellers – points to the significance of currency as a uniting principle. It’s like a common language everyone could speak.</p>
<p>For example, <a href="http://www.jstor.org/stable/279542">Americans who lived</a> in the Early Formative Period dating from 1450 to 500 B.C. used obsidian, mother-of-pearl shell, iron ore and two kinds of pottery as currency to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/203249">trade across the Americas</a> in one of the <a href="https://www.elsevier.com/books/exchange-systems-in-prehistory/earle/978-0-12-227650-7">earliest examples of a successful global trade</a>. The <a href="http://www.ucpress.edu/book.php?isbn=9780520214743">Maritime Silk Road trade</a>, which occurred between A.D. 700 to 1450, connected Europeans, Asians and Africans <a href="http://www.cambridge.org/us/academic/subjects/history/regional-and-world-history-general-interest/cross-cultural-trade-world-history">in a global trade</a> that was both transformational and foundational.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=578&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=578&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=578&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=727&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=727&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/174064/original/file-20170615-24999-126bacf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=727&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Chinese coin from early 1400s found in Kenya by the author.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Chapurukha Kusimba</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In my own excavation work in 2012, I recovered a 600-year-old Chinese Yongle Tongbao coin at the ancient Kenyan trade port Manda, in the Indian Ocean. Chinese coins were small disks of copper and silver with a hole in the center so they could be worn on a belt. This coin was issued by Emperor Yongle of the Ming Dynasty. He was interested in political and trade missions to the lands beyond the South China Sea and sent Admiral Zheng He to explore those shores, nearly 80 years before Vasco da Gama reached India from Portugal. </p>
<p>Archaeological discoveries like this one illustrate Africa’s integration into trade interactions in the Indian Ocean. They also show evidence that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0959774312000029">market economies based on cash money</a> were developing at this time. On the East African coast, there were local merchants and <a href="http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-063118919X.html">kings of the local Swahili</a> who followed Islam and cultivated these external contacts with other Indian Ocean traders. They wanted to <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.1080/00672708609511372">facilitate business dealings</a>, while <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1600-0471.1996.tb00094.x">merchants from the Near East and South Asia</a> had their own Rolodexes of business contacts. Coinage was not just a local affair but also a way of leaving a calling card, a signature and a symbolic token of connections. </p>
<p>As the history of money has shown, <a href="http://www.jstor.org/stable/2802901">currency’s impact is double-edged</a>: It enabled the movement of goods and services, migration and settlement amongst strangers. It brought wealth to some, while hastening the development of socioeconomic and other distinctions. The same patterns unfold today with the modern relationship between China and Africa, now more intertwined and unequal than when Admiral Zheng He first brought coins from China in a diplomatic gesture, as a symbolic extension of friendship across the distance separating the two.</p>
<p>In our time, possession of cash currency differentiates the rich from the poor, the developed from the developing, the global north from the emerging global south. <a href="http://www.jstor.org/stable/2802901">Money is both personal and impersonal</a> and global inequality today is linked to the formalization of money as a measure of societal well-being and sustainability. Even as currency continues to evolve in our digital age, its uses today would still be familiar to our ancient predecessors.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/78887/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Chapurukha Kusimba receives funding from the US National Science Foundation (NSF), the US National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH), and the US Institute of Education (USIE).</span></em></p>
Currency first hit the scene thousands of years ago. An anthropologist explains the early origins and uses of money – and how archaeological finds fill in our picture of the past.
Chapurukha Kusimba, Professor of Anthropology, American University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/64783
2016-09-08T10:13:40Z
2016-09-08T10:13:40Z
Why money is an impoverished metric of generosity
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/136816/original/image-20160906-25231-1ubapb8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Volunteers clean up after Hurricane Sandy</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CI_boardwalk_Sandy_sweepers_jeh.jpg">jim.henderson</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Philanthropy watchers such as <a href="http://www.forbes.com/top-givers/">Forbes</a>, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/most-generous-people-in-the-world-2015-10">Business Insider</a> and the <a href="https://www.philanthropy.com/specialreport/the-2016-philanthropy-50/87">Chronicle of Philanthropy</a> regularly produce rankings of the most generous philanthropists in the United States. </p>
<p>On this basis, <a href="http://www.gatesfoundation.org/Who-We-Are/General-Information/Foundation-Factsheet">Bill Gates</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Buffett">Warren Buffett</a> are often ranked at the top of currently active philanthropists, and <a href="http://www.philanthropyroundtable.org/topic/excellence_in_philanthropy/american_historys_great_philanthropists">John Rockefeller</a> and <a href="http://www.philanthropyroundtable.org/topic/excellence_in_philanthropy/american_historys_great_philanthropists">Andrew Carnegie</a> are often listed among the most generous Americans of all time.</p>
<p>Such lists all share a common methodology. They add up the amounts of the checks donors have written to charitable causes, and then rank them according to the total amount of money they have given away. While there are few things that we Americans like more than lists and money, such methods not only misrepresent giving but do so in a way that distorts our understanding of generosity.</p>
<p>I have taught ethics of philanthropy at Indiana University for 20 years, and one of the most important lessons my students and I have learned is this: Generosity isn’t just about the money. Indeed, I would argue that it is increasingly apparent that giving can take many worthy forms other than writing checks. </p>
<h2>Money does not always benefit</h2>
<p>Merely giving away money does not a benefactor make, and the beneficial impact of gifts cannot be assessed in terms of their monetary value. </p>
<p>For example, in the early 20th century, both the Rockefeller Foundation and the Carnegie Institution <a href="https://www.amazon.com/War-Against-Weak-Eugenics-Americas/dp/0914153293">gave large amounts of money</a> to fund <a href="http://www.eugenicsarchive.org/eugenics/">eugenics programs</a> designed to improve the genetic quality of the human population. </p>
<p>Though these benefactions were once regarded as visionary, today they are almost universally seen as anything but. In <a href="http://historynewsnetwork.org/article/1796">Nazi hands</a>, such thinking led the extermination of large groups of people based on supposed genetic “inferiority.” <a href="http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/unwanted-sterilization-and-eugenics-programs-in-the-united-states/">Forced sterilization programs in the U.S.</a> in the early 20th century employed a similar rationale. No matter how much money was given, it is impossible to call such donations generous.</p>
<h2>Generosity clarified</h2>
<p>True generosity, as I argue in my book <a href="http://www.iupress.indiana.edu/product_info.php?products_id=68173">“We Make A Life by What We Give,”</a> involves more than handing out money. </p>
<p>In many cases, merely counting up the dollars tells us very little about the difference an act of generosity makes. Good people can be as generous with their time and talent as they are with their treasure, and it is possible to make a huge difference in the life of a person, a community or a society without giving away a cent.</p>
<p>Just look at the work of Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa, none of whom enjoyed the financial wherewithal to give away large sums of money. Yet each is regarded as among 20th-century humanity’s greatest benefactors. Their generosity was expressed not in dollars but in words and actions that inspired the best in other human beings.</p>
<p>Money is only one of many different means by which generosity can express itself. One of the biggest problems with ranking the generous by the amounts of money they give away is the implicit suggestion that, when it comes to generosity, money is all that counts.</p>
<h2>To whom was the money given, how and why?</h2>
<p>Suppose, for example, that a beggar on the street asks a passerby for five dollars. Would giving the money be a good thing? We need to know more about the situation. </p>
<p>What will the beggar use the money for? Will it, for example, merely feed a drug habit that is only harming the addict, or will it be used for more meritorious purposes, such as buying food?</p>
<p>Some of my students sometimes argue that would-be donors cannot assume responsibility for making such judgments, because doing so sets them up as unqualified moral arbiters of human need, presuming to judge which cases are truly meritorious. In fact, however, as we discuss in class, such judgments are essential. Suppose, for example, that the beggar announced an intention to use the money to buy a weapon to commit murder.</p>
<p>Acts of generosity are more or less praiseworthy depending on whom the donor is helping, how such help is being rendered and why the donor is lending aid. </p>
<p>As <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.4.iv.html">Aristotle</a> said over 2,000 years ago, a truly generous donor does not merely give but gives the appropriate thing to the appropriate person at the appropriate time in the appropriate way and for the appropriate reason.</p>
<p>To take another familiar example, if my 10-year-old son asks me for five dollars, I cannot necessarily pat myself on the back merely for giving him the money. Nor would it be reasonable to assume that, because I gave him 50 or 500 dollars instead, I had necessarily done 10 or 100 times as much good.</p>
<p>Perhaps the most pernicious effect of ranking philanthropists according to the amounts of money they give away is its tendency to make people of lesser means feel philanthropically impotent or even irrelevant.</p>
<p>Faced with news of a billion-dollar gift, ordinary people might find themselves thinking that no gift of theirs would even register, and therefore give up trying.</p>
<p>To my mind, nothing could be further from the truth. </p>
<h2>A more precious resource: Time</h2>
<p>To reiterate, while people of great financial means are capable of giving away more money than people who live in poverty, there are important respects in which the world’s richest man is incapable of exhibiting greater generosity than the poorest of the poor.</p>
<p>Consider time, one of humanity’s most precious resources. Bill Gates and Warren Buffett may have the most money, but even their billions cannot buy them an extra minute of time in a day. The poorest man on earth starts each day with the exact same 24 hours as the world’s richest. And how we spend our time is no less important than how we spend our money.</p>
<p>In this sense, no one – not even the poorest person on earth – lacks the means to be generous. </p>
<p>Giving someone our undivided attention, providing a shoulder to lean or cry on, or sharing a kind word with someone – in each of these cases, ordinary citizens of the United States can do every bit as much as the wealthy to make a difference in someone else’s life.</p>
<p>Despite the weaknesses of a purely monetary metric of generosity, however, even leading academic philanthropy and nonprofit management programs – there are now <a href="http://www.insidephilanthropy.com/home/2016/8/9/philanthropy-scholarship-is-strong-and-getting-stronger.html">over 300</a> colleges and universities that offer courses in these subjects – continue to focus largely on money. From my perspective, it seems that fundraising often looms so large in their curricular fields of view that other forms of giving are often almost completely blotted out. </p>
<p>Given the opportunity, though, many students quickly recognize the vital role that nonmonetary forms of generosity can play in enriching the lives of both donors and recipients. </p>
<p>It is probably foolish to dream of a day when we no longer presume to rank the generous by the amounts of the checks they write. But we can, in my view, take steps to minimize the harm such lists do to our understanding of the true meaning of generosity, a human excellence that should never be reduced to mere money.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/64783/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
There are few things Americans like more than lists and money, but ranking philanthropists on the monetary size of their giving distorts our understanding of generosity, argues one ethicist.
Richard Gunderman, Chancellor's Professor of Medicine, Liberal Arts, and Philanthropy, Indiana University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/59406
2016-05-17T11:17:56Z
2016-05-17T11:17:56Z
Can’t buy me love – the economics of gift giving
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/122720/original/image-20160516-15906-16dgjb5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">IVASHstudio</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Is £100 a generous enough wedding gift? Not according to one bride, who emailed her guest asking for a <a href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2630932-Post-wedding-message-please-help-me-what-the-hell-do-I-say?pg=10">top up to their present of cash</a>. The story prompted a lively discussion about how much one should spend on a present for newlyweds – and most people who <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/11/bride-and-groom-write-guest-demanding-adjustment-100-gift">left comments on the Guardian’s website</a> felt that this should be a matter for the giver and that the recipient should have been grateful for what she received.</p>
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<p>While this question is first and foremost a matter of etiquette, one can turn to economists for a more exact answer. After all, in the past economists have put price tags on such sacred things as <a href="http://www.economistsdoitwithmodels.com/2010/07/01/how-do-you-value-a-life-economists-are-happy-to-show-you/">a human life</a>, being <a href="http://timharford.com/2006/06/its-the-humanity-stupid-gary-becker-has-lunch-with-the-ft/">law abiding</a> and even having <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167268116000238">a clear conscience</a>.</p>
<p>Thanks to insights from psychology and neuroscience, economic modelling of human decision making is now very realistic. It goes well beyond a simple assumption that everyone prefers more money to less and instead takes account of such things as altruism, fairness, reciprocity and guilt. </p>
<p>So how exactly are these moral considerations modelled in economics? Simply put, a person is assumed to have an internal “exchange rate” between some other person’s money and their own money – what economists call a “<a href="http://www.yourarticlelibrary.com/economics/the-marginal-rate-of-substitution-mrs-economics/10745/">marginal rate of substitution</a>” which can be used to quantify a relative preference between any two goods. This rate depends on many things, such as the closeness of the two people’s relationship, as well as their relative financial standing (in the wedding present story, the guest had just inherited some money and speculated that maybe the bride and groom expected to benefit more as a result). </p>
<p>Because of the latter point, the exchange rate falls as you pass your money along to the other person. Cash needn’t change hands literally, the “passing along” of money can just be happening in your mind when you decide on the amount of a wedding gift. So, suppose you start with a sum of £30. This might sound a bit tight, so should you up it to £40? Maybe £50? You will stop considering larger sums when the “exchange rate” between the couple’s payoff and your own falls below 1. That is, until the point at which you would rather keep another pound than donate it to their honeymoon fund. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=418&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=418&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=418&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=525&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=525&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122826/original/image-20160517-9509-15w7x5o.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=525&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">How marginal rate of substitution works.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Maria Kozlovskaya</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The above example illustrates a basic economic model of “other-regarding considerations”. However, since we usually do not know this “exchange rate” between one’s own and the other person’s money, this abstract method is not very helpful when deciding on the appropriate sum of a wedding gift. Thankfully, economics also suggests two concrete factors behind one’s chosen amount of a gift: expectations and reciprocity.</p>
<h2>Expectations and promises</h2>
<p>A lot of human activity is driven by the desire to meet expectations – an observation which recently made its way into economic analysis. People feel bad if their actions violate a personal or social standard. From an economics standpoint, a person experiences guilt when they inflict a “payoff loss” on some other agent. A guest at a wedding will feel bad if their contribution falls short of the expected amount. Similarly, a three-figure cheque for a gift can make the couple uncomfortable, as a Guardian reader <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/11/how-much-should-you-spend-on-a-wedding-gift">put it in a discussion</a>: “I would feel incredibly awkward to receive an overly generous gift.”</p>
<p>How are expectations formed in the first place? One way to fix an expectation is to make a promise, either explicitly or a tacitly. <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1468-0262.2006.00719.x/abstract">Economic experiments show</a> that a mere act of verbally agreeing to donate money to a common fund significantly increases subsequent contributions. This happens even when the communication is non-binding and the promise (and donation) is issued to a complete stranger via an impersonal computer interface.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/122818/original/image-20160517-9487-1l1uy7o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">How much is too generous?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Raihana Asral</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>A tacit promise (in a form of “warm wishes”) is what the newlywed couple were referring to in their now-infamous email: “We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day.” So, if the guest had previously pledged to make the down payment on the couple’s first house, the bride and groom would have the right to feel upset (if not express it in writing). However, this doesn’t seem to be the case here, so the bride is just being downright rude, as most commentators agreed.</p>
<h2>Gift exchange</h2>
<p>Another way to determine the appropriate value of a wedding present comes from the economic theory of “gift exchange”. As is well known, most people reciprocate generosity in everyday life. More surprisingly, this behaviour is also common in economic scenarios. For example, many employees <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0899825608002194">work overtime after receiving a salary bonus</a>, even when their efforts are not directly observed by the boss. Some wedding guests use similar logic, when they gift “a sum close to the cost (they) think the couple will be paying to have me/us there”, as <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/11/how-much-should-you-spend-on-a-wedding-gift">expressed by several commenters</a>. </p>
<p>Whether or not this emerging “reciprocal” view of wedding gifts is now the done thing is not for economists to judge. But it has certainly contributed to the <a href="http://www.bridesmagazine.co.uk/planning/general/planning-service/2013/01/average-cost-of-wedding">surging expense of weddings</a>, which now cost an average of £30,111.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/59406/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Maria Kozlovskaya received funding from the ESRC in 2011-2014. </span></em></p>
How much do you spend on a wedding present? Economics has the answer.
Maria Kozlovskaya, Lecturer in Microeconomics, Aston University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/52293
2015-12-22T11:08:05Z
2015-12-22T11:08:05Z
Gift-giving taboos that aren’t as bad as you think
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106758/original/image-20151220-27880-861680.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A gift of cash may be just the right thing.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Cash gift via www.shutterstock.com</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>There are many social norms that dictate gift-giving, including when, how and what to give as gifts. </p>
<p>Interestingly, these norms don’t seem to be about making sure that recipients get the gifts they want. What makes for a good or bad gift often differs in the eyes of givers and recipients. </p>
<p>In fact, behavioral science research shows that gifts that may seem “taboo” to givers might actually be better appreciated by recipients than they might think.</p>
<h2>Taboo #1: giving money</h2>
<p>Givers often worry that giving cash or gift cards might be seen as impersonal, thoughtless or crass. Yet <a href="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/5399fab2e4b083bff5af4518/t/5499c4fee4b0bb5843a0b371/1419363582068/Giver-Recipient+Discrepancies+in+Gift+Giving+Draft+12-17-14+FINAL.pdf">research</a> we have done with Robyn LeBoeuf of Washington University in St Louis shows that recipients prefer these more versatile gifts more than givers think they do. </p>
<p>We find that givers underestimate how much recipients like seemingly impersonal monetary gifts, mistakenly thinking that they’ll prefer a traditional gift to a gift card, for instance, or a gift card to cash, when the opposite is true. And, contrary to givers’ expectations, recipients think that these less personal gifts are more thoughtful, too. </p>
<p>Why don’t givers realize this? We find that givers tend to focus on recipients’ enduring traits and tastes and choose gifts that are tailored to those characteristics, and recipients are more likely to focus on their varying wants and needs and prefer gifts that give them the freedom to get whatever they currently need or desire most. </p>
<p>Prompting givers to shift their focus from what recipients <em>are</em> like to what they <em>would</em> like makes them more likely to choose the versatile gifts that recipients prefer.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=393&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=393&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=393&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=494&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=494&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106755/original/image-20151220-27894-3ul16v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=494&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Is this a no-no?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Vacuum cleaner via www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Taboo #2: giving a practical gift</h2>
<p>A classic sitcom plotline involves the <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GiftGivingGaffe">gift-giving gaffe</a>, with a prime example being the husband who buys his wife a vacuum cleaner or something else practical when the occasion seems to call for something more sentimental. </p>
<p>These blundering husbands might not be as wrong as you’d think, though: research suggests that practical gifts are actually better-liked by recipients than givers expect. For instance, <a href="https://msbfile03.usc.edu/digitalmeasures/wakslak/intellcont/baskin%20wakslak%20trope%20novemsky%20(2014)-1.pdf">research</a> by Ernest Baskin of Saint Joseph’s University and colleagues demonstrates that givers tend to focus on how desirable a gift is, when recipients might prefer they think a little more about how easy that gift is to use.</p>
<p>A gift certificate to the best restaurant in the state might not be so great a gift if it takes three hours to get there; your recipient might think that a gift certificate to a less noteworthy but closer restaurant is actually a better gift.</p>
<p>In fact, even gifts that aren’t much fun at all, like the fabled vacuum cleaner, can make for great gifts in recipients’ eyes. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/50a5e160e4b0e80bad9bfe3d/t/567755bbc21b8664a205e822/1450661307640/SJDM+2015+Submission_ER_EFW.pdf">Work</a> that Williams has done with Emily Rosenzweig of Tulane University shows that recipients have a stronger preference for useful rather than fun gifts than givers expect them to have. </p>
<p>We find that the best gifts people have received are much more useful than the best gifts they think they have given, and they want givers to put less emphasis on the fun features of a gift and more emphasis on its useful features than they themselves would when picking out a gift to give to someone else. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106756/original/image-20151220-27858-krfm5x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Not all gifts have to be works of art.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Creative gift via www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Taboo #3: giving an ‘uncreative’ gift</h2>
<p>Givers often feel pressure to think of creative gifts that demonstrate how much thought they put into the gift and how well they know the recipient. </p>
<p>This means that, even when they are given explicit instructions on what to purchase, givers frequently ignore recipients’ wish lists or gift registries and instead try to come up with ideas for gifts by themselves. Givers think that their unsolicited gift ideas will be appreciated just as much as the ideas on wish lists and registries, but <a href="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/55dcde36e4b0df55a96ab220/t/55e746dee4b07156fbd7f6bd/1441220318875/Gino+Flynn+JESP+2011.pdf">recipients would rather</a> have the gifts they requested. </p>
<p>Another implication of this is that givers often pass up gifts they know would be better-liked in favor of getting different gifts for each person they give a gift to, according to <a href="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/5399fab2e4b083bff5af4518/t/539a15b3e4b0bf580fb57539/1402607027977/SteffelLeBoeuf2014.pdf">research</a> by Steffel and LeBoeuf. Givers feel like they are being more thoughtful by getting something unique and creative for each person on their shopping list, but recipients would rather have what’s on the top of their wish list, especially if they are unlikely to compare gifts. </p>
<p>We find that encouraging givers to consider what recipients would choose for themselves before choosing a gift makes them more likely to go ahead and get the same better-liked gift for more than one recipient.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=462&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=462&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/106757/original/image-20151220-27890-13odg0p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=462&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Some of the best gifts don’t come wrapped with a bow on top.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Wrapping paper via www.shutterstock.com</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Taboo #4: giving a gift that can’t be unwrapped</h2>
<p>The very idea of exchanging gifts suggests to people that they need to give something that can be tied up with a pretty bow and then unwrapped, but, in fact, some of the best gifts aren’t things at all. </p>
<p>A <a href="http://static1.squarespace.com/static/5394dfa6e4b0d7fc44700a04/t/547d589ee4b04b0980670fee/1417500830665/Gilovich+Kumar+Jampol+%28in+press%29+A+Wonderful+Life+JCP.pdf">wealth of research</a> has shown that money is often better spent on experiences than on material goods, and this seems to be true for gifts as well as personal purchases. </p>
<p>Joseph Goodman of Washington University in St Louis and Sarah Lim of Seoul National University <a href="http://apps.olin.wustl.edu/faculty/goodman/Giving%20Happiness.pdf">have found</a> that givers think that material items that can be physically exchanged and unwrapped make for better gifts, when gifts that are experiences actually make recipients happier. </p>
<p>Experiential gifts have benefits beyond simply boosting their recipients’ enjoyment, as well. Cindy Chan of the University of Toronto and Cassie Mogilner of the University of Pennsylvania <a href="https://www.rotman.utoronto.ca/-/media/Files/Programs-and-Areas/Marketing/papers/ChanMogilner2013.pdf">have shown</a> that receiving an experiential gift prompts stronger emotional reactions in recipients, and this makes them feel closer to the person who gave them the gift. In other words, opt for the swing dance lessons over the sweater – it will make the recipient happier, and bring the two of you closer together, to boot.</p>
<h2>If you still can’t think of a gift…</h2>
<p>Gift-giving, especially around the holidays, can be a stressful process for both giver and recipient. An understanding of which gift-giving norms are misguided can perhaps relieve some of this stress and lead to better gifts and happier recipients (and givers, too). </p>
<p>But even if givers ignore this advice, there is hope: one last taboo to bust is the taboo on regifting. According Gabrielle Adams of the London Business School and colleagues, givers <a href="http://www.people.hbs.edu/mnorton/adams%20flynn%20norton.pdf">aren’t as bothered</a> by regifting as recipients think. </p>
<p>Even if what you get is not what you want, you can pass it along to someone else, and hope that next time, the norms will work in your favor.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/52293/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Mary Steffel has received funding for her gift giving research from the Georgetown Consumer Market Insights Challenge Award and Society for Consumer Psychology Dissertation Proposal Competition. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Elanor Williams does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Still don’t know what to get your loved one? Here are four gift-giving taboos meant to be broken.
Mary Steffel, Assistant Professor of Marketing, Northeastern University
Elanor Williams, Assistant Professor, Indiana University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/52233
2015-12-20T10:54:57Z
2015-12-20T10:54:57Z
How to apply Game Theory to buying your Christmas presents
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105493/original/image-20151211-8297-1j95h74.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">shutterstock</span> </figcaption></figure><p>According to Sheldon from <a href="http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_bang_theory/">The Big Bang Theory</a>, if someone is buying you a Christmas gift then the “essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you’ve given me”.</p>
<p>But if you, like Sheldon, are having trouble deciding who to buy presents for this Christmas, and what to buy, then the mathematics of <a href="http://www.cdam.lse.ac.uk/Reports/Files/cdam-2001-09.pdf">Game Theory</a> can help.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eOWazhuRyME?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
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<p>If we imagine two people (players 1 and 2) who are deciding whether to buy each other a gift or not, then each person has two options (or strategies): they can either buy a gift, or not. If they receive a gift, then they get some enjoyment from that “E” and if they give a gift then there is a cost “C”, which could be partially financial and partially based on effort.</p>
<p>We can represent the possible outcomes of this game in something called a payoff matrix, in which each of the entries is made up of two parts, the payoff for player 1, followed by the payoff for player 2:</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=183&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=183&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=183&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=229&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=229&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105491/original/image-20151211-8297-j0y9k3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=229&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The mathematics of giving generously.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Rachel Norman and Anthony O'Hare</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>This says that if both players buy each other a present, then they both get a payoff which is the enjoyment they get from receiving a present minus the cost of the present they bought. If one of them buys and the other does not, then one person gets enjoyment and no cost and the other gets cost and no enjoyment. Finally, if neither of them buy a present, then there is no cost and no enjoyment and so the payoff is zero for each player.</p>
<p>If E>C for both players then this game is known as the <a href="http://www.prisoners-dilemma.com/">Prisoner’s Dilemma</a>, a well-known game which was first formulated in 1950 by Merrill Flood and Melvin Dresher and has taken many forms over the years. For example, the final round of the television quiz show <a href="http://www.goldenballstvshow.com">Goldenballs</a> was a Prisoner’s Dilemma – a particularly fine example can be seen here:</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p3Uos2fzIJ0?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
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<p>This game is counter-intuitive because it seems like it is in both players’ best interests to cooperate by buying each other gifts – because, in our case, E-C is a positive payoff. If one player knows that the other one is going to cooperate, however, then it would be better for them to defect and not buy a present – that way they receive the present at no cost. Of course, if they both defect then they both end up with nothing.</p>
<p>In fact, for the game presented here, mathematics tells us that it is always better not to exchange gifts as this is a so-called <a href="http://www.investopedia.com/terms/n/nash-equilibrium.asp">Nash equilibrium</a> – a situation where we cannot better our circumstances by changing our actions.</p>
<h2>Last Christmas, I gave you my heart</h2>
<p>However, the result given above assumes that we are only playing the game once. If we are playing against someone who we will spend many Christmases with and who will remember what we have done in the past, then we are faced with the more complex Iterated Prisoner’s Dilemma. </p>
<p>In 1984, Robert Axelrod produced a book called <a href="https://www-ee.stanford.edu/%7Ehellman/Breakthrough/book/pdfs/axelrod.pdf">The Evolution of Cooperation</a> which looked at the Iterated Prisoner’s Dilemma. He found that greedy strategies tend to do worse in the long run while more generous strategies do better. In fact, the winning strategy in this iterated game was proposed by <a href="https://www.press.umich.edu/pdf/9780472061655-fm.pdf">Anatol Rapaport</a> and is called “tit for tat”. </p>
<p>In this strategy, you cooperate for the first year and after that do whatever your opponent did last time. In our game, that would mean giving a present this year and then seeing what your friend does and then do the same as them next year.</p>
<p>Of course, some people have difficulty deciding what other people would enjoy and there can be disasters when people give gifts which are not well received. For small children, for example, there is usually huge enjoyment in whatever they receive and that can be achieved for a relatively small cost. Teenagers are more tricky, almost everything they want is more expensive and although they might enjoy them the joy of receiving is diminished – if only because the size and quantity of the presents is much smaller.</p>
<p>Socks are always going to be a tricky proposition: the cost is relatively low, but people do not necessarily appreciate them. Vouchers on the other hand, as long as they are for the correct retailer, should always be a winner since their “value” is clearer.</p>
<h2>The joy of giving?</h2>
<p>The game changes completely, however, if you include the joy of giving “J” in your payoff. If your payoff when you buy someone a present changes from –C to J-C, and this is positive, then the winning strategy is always to buy gifts as that becomes the Nash equilibrium.</p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/105497/original/image-20151211-8304-yz7vb1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Leonard Nimoy: A suitable stocking filler?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">s_bukley</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>So, how did Sheldon solve the problem? He bought several gift baskets of varying value and decided he would give the one closest in value to Penny’s gift. Penny gave Sheldon a napkin containing “the DNA of Leonard Nimoy” and while the monetary value of the gift was small, the value placed on it by Sheldon was sufficiently high that he gave her all the gift baskets he had bought.</p>
<p>So, what can we conclude from the mathematics? Well, generosity is best, especially when the joy of giving is deemed the most important part of Christmas. (By the way, if our families and friends are reading, we don’t want Leonard Nimoy’s DNA this year!)</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/52233/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
The Prisoner’s Dilemma suggests that in the long run it’s a better strategy to give generously.
Rachel Norman, Chair of Aquatic Food Security and head of the Modelling and Analysis of Complex systems (MACS) group, University of Stirling
Anthony O'Hare, Lecturer in Food Security, University of Stirling
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.