Hi Marie, I'm not sure what it was about my post that gave you the impression I have a low opinion of women - nothing could be further from the truth. However, I have personally experienced a "failure of contraception" that I am still suspicious about. It didn't end up sticking, but the timing was interesting. A good friend of mine is the father of a boy conceived whilst she had an IUD in. Neither of them wanted children as a motive for sex, but she chose not to abort, against his wishes and now he is a father and trapped by his sense of responsibility to the child he didn't want to have with this woman.

I don't think my point was at all obtuse, I was simply urging men to take responsibility for their own fertility, since there may be good reasons that their female partner isn't, or she will choose to keep the child if an accident occurs. From my reading of what you've said, you agree.

After all, if a woman is prepared to have sex with a man who's not wearing a condom and conception occurs, the decisions from then on are all hers. He has no further role to play except as potential mate or payer of child support and he has no say in which way that goes, and he cannot opt out. She can.

The only point of difference is that you prefer to emphasise different reasons to mine. They also reinforce my point, since if long-term contraception is problematic, women will be less reliable in implementing the regime. Yet more reason for the man to be sure for himself.

Hi Craig,
A late reply but thought I'd drop one in anyway. It was your line about "telling a child where the key to the sweets cupboard is kept and expecting her to leave it alone" - it made it seem as though you view women as childish and irresponsible.

I agree the man should be more sure for himself, but at present there are so few options for men (or indeed so few reliable options for women).

So in conclusion we both seem to agree that:
- current methods of contraception need to be improved
- each partner should take personal responsibility for their own contraception or face the consequences
- and finally, that men and women are equally stupid when it comes to sex ;)

Marie, I think our current system of laws in relation to parenting encourages such irresponsibility. A recent high profile case is that of the radio performer Fifi Box, who has apparently managed to conceive a child with Grant Kenny. Ms Box is in her late 30s and has previously stated her desire to have children and lamented the lack of potential fathers.

Mr Kenny is worth $70 million and already has 3 children with his estranged wife, Lisa Curry-Kenny.

The relationship, such as it was, with Ms Box, was apparently a short-term "fling" and Ms Box is to be a "single-mum", while Mr Kenny will be an absentee father. I doubt that Mr Kenny had any desire to father more kids under such circumstances. What sort of child support assessment do you reckon a multi-millionaire might attract?

Ms Box makes a decent quid herself and is not an unattractive woman who is sexually active. Presumably there are many potential fathers for her child who are not as financially well-placed as Mr Kenny, yet she has never conceived with them - presumably they were not viewed as father material.

There seems no question in anyone's mind about Mr Kenny being the primary carer.

My mum was scathing about "gold-diggers"...