tag:theconversation.com,2011:/fr/topics/sex-education-3039/articlesSex education – The Conversation2024-03-25T13:05:17Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2246772024-03-25T13:05:17Z2024-03-25T13:05:17ZHow to Have Sex: why using films to teach about consent risks misunderstandings<p>Critically-acclaimed and award-winning film How to Have Sex is due to be <a href="https://www.schoolsconsentproject.com/notice-board/partnership-bafta-nominated-film-how-have-sex">screened in UK secondary schools</a> to help initiate conversations about consent. The plan is the result of a partnership between the film, distributor Mubi and the <a href="https://www.schoolsconsentproject.com/">Schools Consent Project</a>, a charity that provides workshops led by volunteers with legal training to give young people information about the law around sex.</p>
<p>How to Have Sex explores complexities around the conditions in which people make choices about sex and relationships, and how they communicate and interpret consent. The film follows 16-year-old Tara (Mia McKenna-Bruce) on a post-GCSEs holiday to Malia, Crete, with friends Skye and Em. </p>
<p>The aim is to party hard and for Tara, the only one in the group to not have had sex, to lose her virginity. However, while her experience is not what she hoped for, this is not a straightforward cautionary tale of the dangers of drinking and casual sex.</p>
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<p>It is encouraging that the Schools Consent Project is offering workshops on consent in schools to explore the issues raised in the film. And taking a legal approach would <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/relationships-education-relationships-and-sex-education-rse-and-health-education">meet requirements</a> within current statutory guidance for relationships and sex education on consent in England. </p>
<p>But as academics conducting research with young people about relationships and sex education, we have concerns that focusing on the law is inadequate when it comes to teaching people how to communicate with their partners about sex and ethical relationships.</p>
<p>The Schools Consent Project plans to screen the whole film. We’d advise any schools thinking of planning lessons themselves around the film to do this rather than just showing a standalone clip and then questioning young people on whether or not that constitutes consent under the letter of the law. </p>
<p>How to Have Sex contains important messages on communication and empathy, and focusing on specific scenes risks missing out on the wider and more nuanced conversations on consent watching the film could lead to.</p>
<h2>Ethical sex</h2>
<p>Boys we’ve spoken to in our research work want to know if and when they would be at risk of getting into trouble legally in the event of an allegation of non-consensual sex. They also want to know how to avoid these outcomes. </p>
<p>But framing sex and consent just as a matter of the law does nothing to address how and why consent may come to be compromised in a given situation, nor what it means to have safe and ethical sex based on mutuality and reciprocity. </p>
<p>How to Have Sex offers no easy answers about these complexities and, we’d suggest, shows the limitations of the law. Tara’s first sexual experience with Paddy – characterised by Paddy asking, “Yeah?” and Tara audibly responding, “Yeah,” – probably constitutes legal consent. It is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1077801221992870">potentially reasonable</a> on the darkened beach where they have sex to misread her grimaces, tears and discomfort as not undermining her expressed agreement.</p>
<p>Paddy may, therefore, be able to avoid getting into trouble legally, but has not necessarily behaved ethically or responsibly toward Tara. The scene raises vital issues about respect and empathy, but if it is not used to have these conversations, it risks feeding into polarised narratives of blame and responsibility for consent – which we have encountered with the young people we’ve worked with.</p>
<p>Tara may be deemed to be at fault for not communicating her discomfort clearly enough to Paddy, or for not talking to her friends. In the film, even her friend Em tells her: “you should have said something.”</p>
<h2>Entrenched perceptions</h2>
<p>The young people we work with are often pulled between wanting straightforward answers to the complexities associated with topics like consent and wanting acknowledgement that <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01335-9">no such answers exist</a>. </p>
<p>If young people and teachers are given the tools and spaces they need to engage in nuanced conversations, there is scope for the film to be helpful. If not, it risks being taken up by young people in ways that entrench, rather than challenge, the gender norms and inequalities that shape attitudes to consent. </p>
<p>These include the still pervasive ideas that <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2017.1393407?casa_token=NY0KZg1CfzYAAAAA%3ACjbJ2A9AQ9UORxYqm64MI5Ca5lOoE-qtRnzKuzHACcfqSj-3M0FIk1okHCGVkQOUvB0kbhrRFH5pAg">it is up to girls</a> to clearly communicate their consent or non-consent to boys, and that it is boys who initiate sex in a transactional – rather than mutual and reciprocal – dynamic. Instead, we need to emphasise to young people that sex should be a mutual process of exploring and establishing what both parties want and agree to. </p>
<p>Films can be a productive means of creating safe distance for having challenging discussions in schools about rape and sexual assault, but it would be a mistake to think this is where the conversation should focus. </p>
<p>The great thing about How to Have Sex is that we get to see the wider events that led to the encounter. We can dissect and understand the characters’ motivations and choices. </p>
<p>Tara is a complex young woman, who is witty and confident yet clearly feels out of place and left behind by her peers. The film avoids simply framing Tara as a helpless victim. Instead she is actively seeking to share intimacy with some of the guys she encounters and is doing what she can to explore her sexuality. But that does not mean she wants the sex she is exposed to. </p>
<p>And at its heart, How to Have Sex is a film about the complex and contradictory emotions of friendship. It’s about connection and how individuals treat one another. </p>
<p>In response to the issues raised in this article, the Schools Consent Project said there was clear appetite from schools for legal education on consent. “We believe that consent education has to be a nuanced and ongoing conversation, not a tick-box or law lecture – neither of which we provide.” </p>
<p>They added: “Having a lawyer lead this conversation is in our experience highly effective … students feel safe knowing that their questions will be accurately answered which in turn encourages open discussion.”</p>
<p>We argue that looking at consent in the film from a legal perspective risks narrowing in on specific scenes of sexual encounters, but this approach does not engage with all the wider dynamics and processes that shape how consent comes to be compromised. And these dynamics are all there in the film – they just need careful discussion. </p>
<p>To avoid these unintended outcomes, the film should be used as a catalyst for discussing the nuances of sex and relationships with young people rather than as a conduit for reinforcing binary, legalistic views on consent.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224677/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emily Setty receives funding from UKRI, Leverhulme and British Academy funders. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jonny Hunt is a partner of the Sex Education Forum & an Independent Sex Education Consultant. </span></em></p>Without nuanced discussion, the film may end up being interpreted by young people in unintended ways.Emily Setty, Senior Lecturer in Criminology, University of SurreyJonny Hunt, Senior Lecturer in Applied Social Science, University of BedfordshireLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2247482024-03-14T19:25:26Z2024-03-14T19:25:26ZWe teach school kids about safe sex. We need to teach safe sexting too<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/581513/original/file-20240313-16-gquzh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=197%2C98%2C5784%2C3889&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/search/teenager%20cell%20phone/?orientation=landscape">Mart Production/ Pexels </a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Sexting involves taking self-made naked or partially naked sexual photos, videos or explicit texts and sending them online or via a mobile phone. They are more commonly referred to as “nudes” or “dick pics” by young people. </p>
<p>A <a href="https://www.latrobe.edu.au/arcshs/work/national-survey-of-secondary-students-and-sexual-health-2022">2021 survey</a> of almost 7,000 Australian teenagers (aged 14 to 18) found sexting was “ordinary practice” for young people. Of those surveyed, 86% reported they had received sexts and 70% said they had sent them. </p>
<p>Our new <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/13634607241237675">research</a> explores Australian teens’ experiences with sexting and sext education. We conducted 49 interviews with 30 young Australians (aged 11 to 17), with 19 repeat interviews a year later. </p>
<p>Our findings show how current messages to simply avoid sexting do not work for young people. While the risks should be acknowledged, education should also include how to be respectful and safe with sexting. </p>
<h2>What are the laws around sexting?</h2>
<p>In most states and territories in Australia, it is legal to have sex when you are 16, but you need to be 18 to sext. </p>
<p>This is because <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2017.1367699">the creation of sexual images</a> of people who are minors is seen as creating child sexual exploitation materials. This is illegal under Commonwealth laws. </p>
<p>This makes sexting between young people under 18, consenting or otherwise, <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-020-01727-6">both legally and ethically complex</a>. </p>
<p>States <a href="https://www.wa.gov.au/system/files/2021-03/intimate-image-laws-faqs.pdf">have diverse practices</a> regarding underage sexting (and police and prosecutors have some discretion). But if you are in possession of a naked image of someone under 18 or send a naked image of someone under 18, you are breaking the law. It is even illegal to own a naked photo of yourself under 18, even if that image is never sent to anyone. </p>
<p>Researchers have argued this legal approach to sexting can end up <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/109550/">punishing those it is supposed to protect</a>. It also adds to the shaming and fear around sexting for young people. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A teenager girl wearing headphones sits on a couch, looking at a phone." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581514/original/file-20240313-30-z1f8bf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Recent survey research shows more than 80% of Australian teenagers have received a sext.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-in-headphones-using-a-phone-6256002/">Karolina Grabowska/ Pexels</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
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<h2>Our research</h2>
<p>Most young people in our study had their first experience of sexting between ten and 13-years-old. In many cases, this was before their first kiss.</p>
<p>But young people in our study said education about sexting in school tends to be based around risks, often in response to a particular incident and is mostly ignored by students. As Max* (12), told us, “it was just basically saying […] ‘don’t send them’”. Lauren (14) said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>They more veer on the safety side of things […] why nudes are bad […]. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>She argued this didn’t work. </p>
<blockquote>
<p>They [teens] know the warnings, but it just sort of goes in one ear and out the other. I don’t think kids listen to that.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Rightly or wrongly, teens in our study also saw relationships as a safe space for sexting. As Warren (17) noted:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>If I was in a relationship, it’s a bit different ‘cause I trust them, they trust me.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This “don’t do it” messaging is akin to abstinence-only sex education, which is widely acknowledged to be <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1054139X05004672?casa_token=BO2XKrdl__EAAAAA:s0KQvKyW6my_3b-eQIrB1EST-QBcki1Jz-T5h75bEkbrScvkS6VTXo_LF2CaRSygSOsqION7utM">ineffective and fails to protect young people</a> from pregnancy and STIs. In contrast, comprehensive sexuality education has been proven to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1525/srsp.2008.5.3.18">delay</a> first sexual experiences and increase contraceptive use. This shows offering young people access to important sexual information can protect them.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/we-havent-been-taught-about-sex-teens-talk-about-how-to-fix-school-sex-education-206001">'We haven't been taught about sex': teens talk about how to fix school sex education</a>
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<h2>Young people want to be 'be prepared’</h2>
<p>Teens in our study acknowledged sexting had a “dark side”. </p>
<p>For many, their first sext was an unsolicited image known as “<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563222004137?via%3Dihub">cyberflashing</a>”. Many knew of peers who had their own images leaked by other students <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/someone-threatening-to-share-my-nudes">without their consent</a>, even though none said this had happened to them. This sharing and leaking of private images has previously been known as “revenge porn” and forms part of an array of behaviours known as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1524838016650189?casa_token=pF2nhihTKvMAAAAA%3AGlCJkuqbgvJogSIVntG4oGCCwGMGSe89-2z4XsqE1zgHMn24u-vtUU9rBWCuw-MC1U6w9SmY-Afyog">Technology-Facilitated Sexual Violence</a>, which is illegal.</p>
<p>Teens wished they had been taught about sexting before encountering it so they could “be prepared”. Secondary school students said sexting education should begin in upper primary school with age-appropriate discussions continuing into high school, where, as Tiffany (15) told us, sexting “happens regularly, daily”.</p>
<p>Lauren said education around how to be respectful and consider issues like consent in online safety was also important: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I think it would be really useful, some people just don’t know, if you send something to someone that it’s obviously ‘private’ […] you just want to share it with that one person.</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A teenage boy lies on a bed, reaching for his phone on a shelf behind his head." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/581516/original/file-20240313-28-4oq51f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Young people interviewed as part of the research said teenagers ignored messages from schools not to sext.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/teenager-with-smartphone-in-bedroom-7241260/">Eren Li/Pexels</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>The UK is changing its approach</h2>
<p>Pretending sexting won’t or <a href="https://www.womensforumaustralia.org/no_its_not_ok_for_kids_to_send_headless_nudes">shouldn’t happen</a> because it is illegal is like pretending no one under 16 has sex, no young teenagers drink alcohol and no one takes illicit drugs. We don’t pretend these behaviours don’t exist: we educate for harm minimisation around them. </p>
<p>Recent guidance to schools in the United Kingdom around sexting reduces the emphasis on legal issues, while attempting to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42380-019-00050-6">minimise shaming of young people</a> who sext. This approach emphasises young people’s rights and responsibilities to make informed choices over their own bodies and sexual selves. </p>
<p>Indeed, online sex <em>is</em> sex, forming part of a repertoire of sexual behaviours. Offering <a href="https://utpjournals.press/doi/abs/10.3138/cjhs.2017-0017">non-judgmental information</a> acknowledges sexuality as a legitimate part of human development. </p>
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<em>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/20-of-young-people-who-forwarded-nudes-say-they-had-permission-but-only-8-gave-it-why-the-gap-207913">20% of young people who forwarded nudes say they had permission – but only 8% gave it. Why the gap?</a>
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<h2>What can parents and teachers do?</h2>
<p>Parents and teachers can offer balanced information that identifies potential dangers but also <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-havent-been-taught-about-sex-teens-talk-about-how-to-fix-school-sex-education-206001">acknowledges the reality</a> of young people’s behaviours. </p>
<p>Instead of “don’t do it”, teens may be more receptive to discussions about consent and mutual respect for one another’s bodies as they would (and should) in real life.</p>
<p>If things do “go wrong” there are several services available.</p>
<p>The eSafety Commission acknowledges it is important young people know they can always <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/sending-nudes-sexting">say no to a request to send nudes</a>, and to avoid sharing intimate images and videos without consent . This is both breach of trust and against the law. It also has advice for when <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/my-nudes-have-been-shared">nudes have been shared</a>, if someone is trying to blackmail you over a naked image (“sextortion”) and provides a way to report <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/report/how-to-report-serious-online-abuse-illegal-restricted-content">image-based sexual abuse</a>.</p>
<p>You can also make a report to the <a href="https://www.accce.gov.au/">Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation</a> and US-based site <a href="https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/">Take It Down</a> </p>
<p>The federal government’s parenting website, the Raising Children Network also offers balanced <a href="https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/entertainment-technology/pornography-sexting/sexting-and-teenagers-practical-steps-for-problem-situations">step-by-step</a> guides if your child is asked to send a nude, receives one or has one shared without their consent. </p>
<p>Above all, maintaining an open dialogue and a <a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/teens-sex-and-technology#summary">shame-free stance</a> will allow young people to feel safe to discuss anything with the adults in their lives. It also helps if teens know parents will help in a crisis, rather than punish them. </p>
<p><em>*Names have been changed.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224748/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>This paper is an outcome of the Australian Research Council (ARC) Discovery Project Adolescents' perceptions
of harm from accessing online sexual content (DP 190102435). As such, funding was received from the Australian Research Council.
Additional funding and support was received from both the Securing Digital Futures and Society and Culture research
themes at Edith Cowan University, which supported activities that informed the development of this work.
Giselle is also part of a not-for-profit Relationships and Sexuality education advocacy group, Bloom-Ed, whose views are not expressed here.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Lelia Green receives funding from the Australian Research Council (ARC). She is a Co-Chief Investigator on the Discovery Project 'Adolescents’ perceptions of harm from accessing online sexual content' (DP 190102435). As such, funding was received from the Australian Research Council (2019-2023). It should be noted that teen sexting culture was not the focus of this grant, but was raised by teens when they were asked about online sexual content. Lelia also acknowledges significant in-kind support from the School of Arts and Humanities at Edith Cowan University. All views expressed are her own. </span></em></p>New research shows how current messages to ‘simply avoid’ sexting do not work for young people.Giselle Natassia Woodley, Researcher and Phd Candidate, Edith Cowan UniversityLelia Green, Professor of Communications, Edith Cowan UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2248772024-03-06T09:54:08Z2024-03-06T09:54:08ZUS Christian right has taken aim at LGBTIQ+ rights, sex education and abortion in Africa – new book<p><em>A new <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-031-46653-3">book</a> – The US Christian Right and Pro-Family Politics in 21st Century Africa – reveals the role played by some right wing US Christian groups in trying to spread their social and moral influence in African countries. Sociologist Haley McEwen, who <a href="https://www.gu.se/en/about/find-staff/haleymcewen">specialises</a> in the subject, answers five questions about her book.</em></p>
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<h2>What do you want readers to take away?</h2>
<p>I hope that readers can better understand the reasons why lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (LGBTIQ+) rights, abortion and sexuality education have become so highly politicised in African countries (and other parts of the world) in recent years. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/ghanas-new-anti-homosexuality-bill-violates-everyones-rights-not-just-lgbtiq-people-expert-224888">Ghana's new anti-homosexuality bill violates everyone's rights, not just LGBTIQ+ people - expert</a>
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<p>Campaigns or backlash against gender equality, sexuality education, and LGBTIQ+ inclusion in schools and communities often have the appearance of being led by local or “grassroots” interests. But deeper scrutiny often reveals that transatlantic pro-family networks, activists and organisations catalyse, coordinate and finance these activities. </p>
<p>The book is focused on the attempts of “pro-family” groups to erode sexuality and gender equality. But it also serves as a case study of their ultra-conservative agenda. And how it’s working to dislodge and undermine the efforts of historically marginalised people to achieve social justice, equal recognition and rights.</p>
<h2>What is the pro-family movement?</h2>
<p>The pro-family movement is a transnational <a href="https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/world-congress-families">network</a> of conservative activists and organisations. They <a href="https://profam.org">claim</a> they are “pro-family”. But they’re clearly <a href="https://profam.org/article-16/world-family-declaration/">only interested</a> in protecting and defending one kind of family: the heterosexual, monogamous, married nuclear family structure.</p>
<p>Key to this is opposing the recognition of gender and sexuality diversity. Pro-family groups campaign against issues such as access to <a href="https://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/stories/2022-09-25/unholy-alliance-the-far-right-religious-network-attacking-reproductive-and-lgbtq-rights/">contraception and abortion</a>, <a href="https://www.voanews.com/a/religious-leaders-in-malawi-protest-same-sex-marriage/7179790.html">same-sex marriage</a> and the availability of <a href="https://theconversation.com/americas-right-is-lobbying-against-south-africas-sex-education-syllabus-126356">sexuality education</a> in schools. They claim these issues threaten the nuclear (or, in their terms, “natural” or “traditional”) family.</p>
<h2>What is its agenda in Africa?</h2>
<p>The pro-family movement has its origins in the US Christian right’s “family values” <a href="https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/globalizing-family-values">movement</a>. This emerged in opposition to the sexual revolution of the 1960s. Since the early 2000s, Christian right activists have been working to grow their advocacy networks in African countries. </p>
<p>There are many reasons for their interest in Africa. But a key objective is gaining the buy-in of African political leaders to support pro-family advocacy at the United Nations (UN).</p>
<p>They’ve worked to do this through the <a href="https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/5050/us-christian-right-group-hosts-anti-lgbt-training-african-politicians/">mentorship</a> of African religious and political leaders. The World Congress of Families has held <a href="https://www.okayafrica.com/world-congress-of-families-holds-anti-lgbt-conference-in-ghana/">regional conferences</a> in a number of countries. These have included South Africa, Ghana, Kenya and Nigeria. They also directly <a href="https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/5050/trump-us-christian-spending-global-revealed/">fund African organisations</a> that are pursuing local pro-family agendas. </p>
<p>One of the lead authors of the recently passed <a href="https://theconversation.com/ghanas-new-anti-homosexuality-bill-violates-everyones-rights-not-just-lgbtiq-people-expert-224888">Human Sexuality and Family Values bill</a> in Ghana has spoken publicly about his <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/hon-sam-nartey-george-2a001a253_i-am-currently-in-utah-usa-attending-an-activity-6985364940916215808-epvP">attendance</a> at US pro-family conferences. He’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B40xpKyu9GU">joined</a> the movement’s advocacy against LGBTIQ+ rights at the UN. </p>
<p>Leading proponents of the recent Ugandan <a href="https://theconversation.com/ugandas-anti-homosexuality-law-is-a-patriarchal-backlash-against-progress-206681">anti-homosexuality act</a> also have <a href="https://democracyinafrica.org/the-american-religious-right-and-the-anti-lgbtq-movement-in-uganda-family-watch-international-sharon-slater-and-the-entebbe-conference/">links</a>. In 2023, <a href="http://citizengo.org/en-row">three</a> <a href="https://kcpf.or.ke">conservative</a> <a href="https://eaclj.com">organisations</a> in Kenya <a href="https://www.aciafrica.org/news/8072/proposed-family-protection-bill-in-kenya-step-in-the-right-direction-catholic-activists">rallied support</a> for the creation of the Family Protection Bill. It seeks to criminalise homosexuality and prohibit comprehensive sexuality education. </p>
<p>So, the African pro-family movement has become increasingly home grown. Yet, my <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-031-46653-3">research</a> suggests the success of African campaigns appears to remain largely dependent on foreign investment.</p>
<h2>What does your book argue?</h2>
<p>The book unpacks how the three key issues targeted by the US Christian right are related. These are seen as threats to a social order based on the patriarchal family structure. (Men are breadwinners and decision makers, women are their dependants and subordinates, children have no agency in relation to their parents.)</p>
<p>Through their anti-choice and anti-LGBTIQ+ rights policies, pro-family groups are attempting to create a society in which the dominance of white, and now African, Christian men is accepted as “normal” or “traditional”. This lays the groundwork for the normalisation of a broader social order. One premised on the oppression of historically marginalised groups. </p>
<p>In the book, I refer to the work of intersectional and decolonial <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3810699">feminist</a> <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3175493">scholars</a> who have shown how the nuclear family has served as a blueprint for creating societies that serve the interests of colonial power relations and racial capitalism. </p>
<h2>How successful have US Christian right organisations been in Africa?</h2>
<p>They have made strong connections and have had a great deal of influence in promoting anti-LGBTIQ+, anti-abortion, and anti-comprehensive sexuality education policy agendas in Ghana, Uganda and Nigeria. They’ve been less successful in South Africa. South Africa has a strong feminist and queer civil society voice and also constitutional commitments to ending all forms of discrimination.</p>
<p>On a continent-wide level, US Christian right groups like <a href="https://familywatch.org">Family Watch International</a> have been working to foster a pro-family movement. Shortly after the Ugandan parliament passed the 2023 anti-homosexuality bill, Family Watch International and its Africa office, sponsored the first African Inter-Parliamentary <a href="https://democracyinafrica.org/the-american-religious-right-and-the-anti-lgbtq-movement-in-uganda-family-watch-international-sharon-slater-and-the-entebbe-conference/">Forum</a> on Family Values and Sovereignty. It brought together African parliamentarians from 23 countries.</p>
<p>These groups are now working together at the United Nations through coalitions such as the <a href="https://unfamilyrightscaucus.org">UN Family Rights Caucus</a> to block inclusive policy language and frameworks at the international level.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/americas-right-is-lobbying-against-south-africas-sex-education-syllabus-126356">America's right is lobbying against South Africa's sex education syllabus</a>
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<p>Despite its varied policy gains, the pro-family movement has been influential in presenting itself as “decolonial”. It <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/kenya-could-follow-uganda-east-african-nations-wage-war-lgbt-rights-2023-06-22/">claims</a> that homosexuality and gender diversity are foreign imports that threaten African societies. </p>
<p>This claim rewrites <a href="https://www.arcados.ch/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/MURRAY-ROSCOE-BOY-WIVES-FEMALE-HUSBANDS-98.pdf">actual</a> <a href="https://blogs.law.columbia.edu/uprising1313/files/2018/01/africatoday.58.1.55.pdf">colonial</a> histories. European regimes <a href="https://www.ahrlj.up.ac.za/ibrahim-am-2015">imposed</a> gender laws and hierarchies as a means of controlling African populations. </p>
<p>Colonialism was based not only on creating a racial hierarchy. It introduced gender itself as a colonial concept and mode of organising relations of production and property relations. European <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-long-moral-shadows-cast-by-south-africas-colonial-history-127123">“civilizing” missions</a> included measures such as anti-sodomy laws and missionary schooling. These were heavily dependent on the destruction of indigenous social systems. </p>
<p>As such, pro-family campaigning in Africa today can be viewed as a retooling of colonial control mechanisms. These not only serve western interests, but also elite, autocratic African ones.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224877/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Haley McEwen has received funding from the South African National Research Foundation</span></em></p>Ultra-conservative pro-family groups finance campaigns to influence the policies of governments and schools.Haley McEwen, Postdoctoral Researcher, University of GothenburgLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2225322024-02-19T18:27:03Z2024-02-19T18:27:03ZGen Z boys’ attitudes to feminism are more nuanced than negative<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/575604/original/file-20240214-18-jfr8z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=8%2C16%2C5599%2C3715&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/three-teenagers-sat-together-128632589">Phovoir/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Young men are more likely than older men to think that feminism has done more harm than good, according to a <a href="https://www.ipsos.com/en-uk/masculinity-and-womens-equality-study-finds-emerging-gender-divide-young-peoples-attitudes#:%7E:text=Among%20those%20aged%2016%20to,in%2011%20(9%25)%20women">new survey</a>, suggesting a backward step in attitudes to gender equality. Young women aged 16-29 are also slightly more likely than women aged 30-59 to say that feminism has done more harm than good. </p>
<p>The survey, conducted by King’s College London and Ipsos, also found a growing divergence in attitudes towards feminism, masculinity and gender equality between young men and young women. </p>
<p>On the surface, the findings chime with our experiences of conducting research directly with young people on these topics and delivering relationships and sex education in schools. But in both our work and the survey data, the reality is more nuanced than these headline findings suggest. </p>
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<p>Most of the survey sample — including the younger age groups — do not sit at the more divided extremes of the response options. While 16% of men aged 16-29 thought feminism had done more harm than good, more than double this proportion, 36%, thought it had done more good than harm. </p>
<h2>Who’s a feminist?</h2>
<p>In our recent experience of <a href="https://www.surrey.ac.uk/news/teaching-sex-education-digital-age-dealing-influence-pornography">working in schools</a> delivering and evaluating an educational session designed to address harmful sexual behaviour in schools, we asked the young people how many would identify themselves as a feminist. In response, there were often just two or three hands raised, often accompanied by an odd snide comment from one of the boys. </p>
<p>Both boys and girls seem disinclined to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2020.1802242">endorse feminism</a>, with this <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47006912">perhaps counter-intuitive</a> tendency among young women having been seen for some time. </p>
<p>But when we probe a little deeper and ask if they believe in equality between genders or what they understand by feminism, a different picture emerges.</p>
<p>The young people we work with often have a firm understanding of the inequality that exists between men and women. They typically endorse the idea that people should not be restricted or disadvantaged by their gender, but that possible disadvantage as a result of gender is nuanced and flows in both directions: both boys and girls are affected by gender stereotypes and pressures.</p>
<p>The girls in the room are quick to point out the double standards which, they feel, means they are judged more harshly and experience more social shaming connected to their bodies and sexual behaviour than boys. They talk about the <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Sex-Ed-for-Grown-Ups-How-to-Talk-to-Children-and-Young-People-about-Sex/Hunt/p/book/9780367641337">effect of gender inequality</a> on their ability to make free choices and to feel safe in their day-to-day lives. Unwanted attention, sexual harassment and feeling unsafe are still a rite of passage for teenage girls.</p>
<p>The boys, meanwhile, with the demands of masculinity thrust upon them, rarely consider themselves <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01335-9">powerful or privileged</a>. They are often insecure in their bodies, embarrassed and out of their depth – especially in their intimate and sexual relationships where they are expected to take control.</p>
<p>We have found that young people have a straightforward desire <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01335-9">for authentic and healthy relationships</a> be that with their same- or opposite-sex peers. They find it difficult to translate these aspirations into reality, however, as they navigate existing social and cultural expectations and pressures surrounding gender and relationships. </p>
<p>Boys and young men, in particular, are pulled between ideas of traditional masculinity and demands to be emotionally self-aware and sensitive. </p>
<h2>The role of adults</h2>
<p>When thinking about young people’s attitudes to feminism, we need to acknowledge that it is older generations who write the social scripts for boys and girls. It is older generations who frame sex, still, as something boys do to girls – as one of us found when interviewing teachers about how they educate <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01335-9">boys about consent</a>. </p>
<p>And it is older adults – such as the 37-year-old social media influencer Andrew Tate – who preach that feminism has gone too far. Media coverage of the King’s College and Ipsos Mori survey <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2024/feb/01/gen-z-boys-and-men-more-likely-than-baby-boomers-to-believe-feminism-harmful-says-poll">has emphasised</a> the finding that <a href="https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/reports/andrew-tate-feminism-gen-z">one in five</a> young men we surveyed approved of him. But this means that only a minority of boys and young men who said they had heard of Tate had a positive view of him. </p>
<p>More than half of the young men said they found Tate’s views offensive. This finding reflects what we are encountering in our research work: a dwindling <a href="https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/45735-how-many-britons-agree-andrew-tates-views-women">interest in Tate</a> among young people.</p>
<p>In <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2020.1802242">our experience</a>, most young people are open-minded, inclusive and tolerant. They are critical thinkers when allowed to think for themselves rather than being fed easy answers by the adults around them or, as seemed to be the case in this survey, asked to select between options framed as competing interests between men and women. </p>
<p>Our research underscores the need for a youth-centric approach to tackling issues relating to gender and relationships with young people that does not tell them what to think, but more how to think in ways that respond to their concerns. The adults in young people’s lives – parents, teachers and others – should think about, and talk to them about, why influencers like Tate gain traction. </p>
<p>Young people need support, based on open and constructive dialogue, to navigate gender and relationships in an ethical, mutual and positive, rather than risk-averse and divisive, way.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222532/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emily Setty receives funding from ESRC and Leverhulme/British Academy Trust.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jonny Hunt receives funding from ESRC and is a partner of the Sex Education Forum.</span></em></p>We have found that young people have a straightforward desire for authentic and healthy relationships.Emily Setty, Senior Lecturer in Criminology, University of SurreyJonny Hunt, Senior Lecturer in Applied Social Science, University of BedfordshireLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2209222024-01-17T17:49:41Z2024-01-17T17:49:41ZEducation and understanding is vital when tackling rising reports of harmful sexual behaviour by children<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569523/original/file-20240116-23-zyb2vz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=6%2C6%2C4076%2C3022&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/sad-teenager-girl-sitting-on-couch-2250169879">Maya Kruchankova/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>An <a href="https://www.vkpp.org.uk/vkpp-work/analytical-capability/national-analysis-of-police-recorded-child-sexual-abuse-and-exploitation-crimes-report-2022/">analysis of data</a> from 42 police forces across England and Wales has found that over half of the 106,984 child sexual abuse cases in 2022 involved reported offences by young people aged between ten and 17. This is a rise of 7.6% from 2021.</p>
<p>The report, published by the National Policing Vulnerability Knowledge and Practice Programme, also highlighted that child sexual abuse and exploitation within the family was the most commonly reported form of abuse, with parents and siblings the most common relationships involved. </p>
<p>Ian Critchley, the National Police Chiefs’ lead for child protection, has said that parents need to have “<a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-67925490">uncomfortable conversations</a>” with their children. Conversations like this are extremely important. But unfortunately the reality of understanding and addressing this behaviour is <a href="https://www.csacentre.org.uk/research-resources/key-messages/harmful-sexual-behaviour/">much more complex</a>. </p>
<h2>Learning and understanding</h2>
<p>We need to understand what children and young people believe they are doing when they are engaging in <a href="https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour/understanding">problematic and harmful sexual behaviour</a>, and where they have got these ideas from. And we need to provide them with the education to understand sexuality and consent, and the safety and opportunity to discuss their concerns. </p>
<p>It is flawed to assume that harmful sexual behaviour by children and young people is the result of a rational choice, or that they are fully informed about what they are doing. What’s more, young people may not have a clear sense of right and wrong when it comes to sexual behaviour and may lack understanding about moral and sexual boundaries.</p>
<p>This in no way devalues the harm and trauma experienced by victims. However, it is important to understand in order to tackle this rise in reports of sexual offences carried out by young people. </p>
<p>We have <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-031-34010-9">undertaken research</a> in the area of sibling sexual abuse, which is often carried out by a child under the age of 18. Professionals such as social workers may be inadequately prepared to deal with <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13552600.2023.2241482">sibling sexual abuse</a>. Often, it sits within a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/13552600.2023.2258928">wider form of family dysfunction</a>, in which those displaying the harmful behaviour may themselves be experiencing abuse. </p>
<p>The response to children under the age of 18 who are displaying harmful sexual behaviour needs to include compassion. This allows them to recover from their behaviour and grow as people. These young people may have faced difficult and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-49068-3_4">traumatic experiences</a>. </p>
<h2>Good education</h2>
<p>Education is vital here – at school, at home, in the community – to help young people understand and respond to harmful sexual behaviour. Young people <a href="https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/schools/social-policy/departments/health-services-management-centre/research/a-students-guide-to-what-you-dont-know.aspx">consistently tell educators</a> that what they are learning in relationships, sex and health education is not enough and they are being taught things they already know.</p>
<p>Young people need education that builds on their knowledge, and this can only be gathered by asking them. They want support and education from robust and trusted sources. This includes learning about <a href="https://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/resources/evidence/young-peoples-rse-poll-2022">harmful sexual behaviour and pornography</a> in a safe environment. </p>
<p>What’s more, good relationships and sex education helps young people to recognise when they are being abused and also creates safe spaces where they feel that they can report abuses against them. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2310970/">Research indicates</a> that women who received inadequate sex education were more likely to have experienced sexual abuse. </p>
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<p>A quarter of the offences in the report were related to the taking, making and sharing of indecent imagery of children. This continues to be a <a href="https://uwe-repository.worktribe.com/output/1492535/best-practice-in-the-management-of-online-sex-offending">growing area of concern</a>. It is highly likely that young people will see pornographic content and receive unwanted images at some point <a href="https://blog.bham.ac.uk/socialsciencesbirmingham/2022/03/18/cyberflashing/">before they get to 18</a>. </p>
<p>While the legal age of consent in the <a href="https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-protection-system/children-the-law">UK is 16</a>, sending and receiving images of <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1978/37/section/1">under 18s is illegal</a>. This becomes complicated when this is happening between two sexually active, consenting, 17-year-olds, for example. It is not as simple as a parent or teacher saying “just don’t do it”. While police are encouraged to take a “<a href="https://news.npcc.police.uk/releases/a-common-sense-police-approach-to-investigating-sexting-among-under-18s">common sense</a>” approach to behaviour like this, this grey area can make it hard to distinguish normal sexual behaviour from exploitation. </p>
<p>Of course, young people should be held accountable for their behaviour. However, we must also hold ourselves, our communities and societies accountable for the education and social skills we have provided them with to navigate these issues. </p>
<p><em>If you are a young person worried about your own or others’ sexual behaviour you can anonymously contact <a href="https://shorespace.org.uk/?utm_source=blog&utm_medium=shore&utm_campaign=Shore_blog">Shore</a> for support.</em></p>
<p><em>If you are an adult concerned about your own or others’ sexual behaviours you can contact the <a href="https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/helpline/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=ad&utm_campaign=stop-helpline&msclkid=93354b7c2d1513333cae2e0eff9b653d">Stop it Now Helpline</a> for confidential support.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220922/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sophie King-Hill receives funding from ESRC. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kieran Mccartan receives funding from European Union (Horizon 2020). He is affiliated with NOTA (National Organisation for the Treatment of Abuse) and Circles South West.</span></em></p>Young people need education to understand sexuality and consent.Sophie King-Hill, Associate Professor at the Health Services Management Centre, University of BirminghamKieran Mccartan, Professor in Criminology, University of the West of EnglandLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2158922024-01-14T19:05:46Z2024-01-14T19:05:46ZHelp, I’ve just discovered my teen has watched porn! What should I do?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562600/original/file-20231130-15-eyet8z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=122%2C0%2C8057%2C5297&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/worried-teenage-girl-sitting-desk-bedroom-2261420967">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Unlike in previous generations, you’re unlikely to discover your adolescent’s first exposure to adult sexual content from finding a scrunched-up Playboy magazine under their mattress. </p>
<p>With easy access to the internet and the use of tablets and mobile phones, it’s more likely to be from free, mainstream online porn. And it can be a very shocking introduction to sex.</p>
<p>But it’s <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1753-6405.12678">common</a> and has become normalised among young people. The <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1753-6405.12678">median age</a> for boys to first view pornography is 13, while for girls it’s 16. </p>
<p>OK, so your child or adolescent has watched a porn video. First, stay calm. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/tiktok-has-a-startling-amount-of-sexual-content-and-its-way-too-easy-for-children-to-access-216114">TikTok has a startling amount of sexual content – and it's way too easy for children to access</a>
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<h2>Start a discussion about what porn is – and isn’t</h2>
<p>How much detail you go into and what’s appropriate for them to know will depend on their age and level of maturity. </p>
<p>Many parents let their adolescents know porn is not real – it’s a fantasy. But it’s not enough to just say, “that’s not real”. They also need to know what reality is. </p>
<p>Explain that porn is not what sex is like – and what’s wrong with depictions of sex in porn: everyone who’s involved should be enjoying it, not just the man. </p>
<p>In porn, you don’t see all the normal things that happen around sex, like discussions on how to ask about consent, or even the bloopers of sex, such as when people change positions, negotiate, and move around. </p>
<p>Porn is not designed to show sex the way it would be experienced as pleasurable, or show what positive relationships are meant to look like. People don’t tend to ask, “do you want to do that?” And if they do, you won’t see what happens if someone says “no”. The performers aren’t doing it in a way that feels good, but instead focus on what is deemed to “look good”. </p>
<p>Porn doesn’t present sex in a real way, and it can change young people’s ideas and expectations about <a href="https://www.thegist.org.au/topics/how-porn-is-different-from-sex-in-the-real-world/">what sex is</a>. </p>
<h2>How are adolescents accessing porn?</h2>
<p>Adolescents are used to discovering things on their own using the internet and are naturally curious about sex. Their exposure to porn can come from something as simple as googling a term they’ve never heard of before, or their friends <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1753-6405.12678">sending them a link</a>. </p>
<p>They’re most likely to come across mainstream porn. With lots of flesh, quick movements and closeups, it can be very graphic and can come across as violent to someone seeing it for the first time. </p>
<p>This becomes how adolescents, who don’t have personal experiences of sex, or have the information they need, learn about sex. Just as they go to YouTube to learn how to cook a meal or fix the tap, they are used to watching and following. </p>
<p>And for something private and stigmatised like sex, there are limited good alternatives for them to learn how it really works.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Girl looks at her phone while sitting at her desk" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562596/original/file-20231130-21-lxi54r.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">There are limited alternatives to learn how sex really works.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/worried-teenage-girl-sitting-desk-bedroom-2261420967">Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>When should we have ‘the talk’?</h2>
<p>An open conversation about safety, sex, consent and relationships and gender roles is important throughout their whole life. Introduce the topic of sex gradually, depending on your child’s age. It doesn’t have to be a big sit down, to have a big talk.</p>
<p>It’s best to bring it up in relevant situations, particularly on seeking ongoing consent, because that applies to all aspects of life. Everyone has the right to make decisions about their own body, and it’s up to them if they <a href="https://www.thegist.org.au/topics/enthusiastic-consent-and-communication">want to be</a> touched, hugged, kissed or have sex. It’s also important to reinforce that women and girls have feelings and needs, and they’re not just there to look pretty. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-you-teach-a-primary-school-child-about-consent-you-can-start-with-these-books-190063">How do you teach a primary school child about consent? You can start with these books</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>If they’re asking questions, then they’re old enough to talk about it. Ideally, you won’t wait for them to ask. You should be having conversations about consent, positive relationships, and sex from an early age. But it’s important to talk about it earlier rather than later, even if you don’t think they’ve watched porn. </p>
<p>Instead of saying “have you heard about porn?”, let them know from a young age they can trust you if they see something online that they don’t like or confuses them. Assure them you can’t believe everything you see online and you’re a safe person to go to with any questions.</p>
<p>Let them know it’s not their fault if they see something they don’t like, make sure they are OK and ask how it made them feel. Remind them to simply close the browser or turn off the screen if they see something that <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/kids/i-want-help-with/i-saw-something-online-i-didn%E2%80%99t-like">upsets them</a> or makes them feel yuck. </p>
<h2>Can I prevent my child accessing porn?</h2>
<p>Your children will <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1326020023010269?via%3Dihub">probably see porn</a> at some point, but the older they are when they first see it, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1326020023010269?via%3Dihub">the better</a>.</p>
<p>Data shows watching porn is <a href="https://doi.org/10.2196/16702">associated with</a> poor mental health, riskier sexual behaviours, and attitudes <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2017.1417350">supporting violence against women</a>.</p>
<p>Unlike with adolescents where conversations are paramount, restrictions can prevent and protect young children from seeing porn. These include <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/parental-controls?gclid=CjwKCAjws9ipBhB1EiwAccEi1HAKM-aKbxzwQ2oY8BM7Jpi4yjP4QPSK1vOk7GIy9d7xLyfEtM9CuBoCI1EQAvD_BwE">parental controls</a> on devices, apps or browsers, or establishing rules about when, where and with whom they can access their phones, computers or tablets. Yes, older teenagers can probably get past them, but younger kids can’t.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/why-we-need-to-talk-about-porn-when-we-talk-about-andrew-tate-201059">Why we need to talk about porn when we talk about Andrew Tate</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Be open and honest with your kids about using internet restrictions – don’t spy on them. Let them know why you’re doing it, explaining there are bad things online you need to protect them from – it’s about building trust.</p>
<p>If you find your child showing unusual behaviour or acting out towards other children, or your teen shows signs of addiction (where their viewing activities interfere with their day-to-day lives), <a href="https://www.thegist.org.au/support-services/">seek</a> professional <a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/">help</a>. </p>
<p><em><a href="https://www.thegist.org.au/">The GIST</a> is a great resource for parents and older teens about how to approach difficult topics like this. If you’re a child or adolescent and need support, you can call the <a href="https://kidshelpline.com.au/">Kids Help Line</a> on 1800 55 1800.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215892/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Megan Lim receives funding from the National Health and Medical Research Council, VicHealth, Westpac Foundation, and the Office of the eSafety Commissioner. </span></em></p>Chances are, your teenager has already seen online porn. How should you respond if you find out they are watching it? What conversations should you be having with young children to prepare them?Megan Lim, Head of Young People's Health Research, Burnet InstituteLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2161142023-11-19T18:59:58Z2023-11-19T18:59:58ZTikTok has a startling amount of sexual content – and it’s way too easy for children to access<p>Explicit content has long been a feature of the internet and social media, and young people’s exposure to it has been a persistent concern.</p>
<p>This issue has taken centre stage again with the meteoric rise of TikTok. Despite efforts to moderate content, it seems TikTok’s primary focus remains <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2021/12/6/22820305/tiktok-algorithm-explained-leak-how-it-works">on maximising user engagement and traffic</a>, rather than creating a safe environment for users.</p>
<p>As the top <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2022/08/10/teens-social-media-and-technology-2022/">social media app used by teens</a>, the presence of explicit content on TikTok can put young users in harm’s way. And while TikTok and regulators scramble to catch up with moderation needs, it’s ultimately up to parents and users to navigate these harms online.</p>
<h2>TikTok’s content moderation maze</h2>
<p>TikTok relies on both <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/transparency/en-us/content-moderation/">automated and human moderation</a> to identify and remove content violating its community guidelines. <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/community-guidelines/en/safety-civility/#5">This includes</a> nudity, pornography, sexually explicit content, non-consensual sexual acts, the sharing of non-consensual intimate imagery and sexual solicitation. TikTok’s community guidelines say:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>We do not allow seductive performances or allusions to sexual activity by young people, or the use of sexually explicit narratives by anyone.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>However, Tiktok’s automated moderation system isn’t always precise. This means beneficial material such as LGBTQ+ content and healthy <a href="https://mashable.com/article/tiktok-sex-education-content-removal">sex education content may be incorrectly removed</a> while explicit, harmful content <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cwr4gvXIncI/?hl=en">slips through the cracks</a>.</p>
<p>Although TikTok has a human review process to compensate for algorithmic shortcomings, this is slow and time-consuming, which causes delays. Young people may be exposed to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/feb/08/most-australian-teens-have-viewed-harmful-content-online-but-parents-in-dark-safer-internet-day">explicit and harmful content</a> before it is removed. </p>
<p>Content moderation is further complicated by user tactics such as “<a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/tiktok-explained-algospeak-shadowbanning-everything-to-know/24ea8123-7e4b-4d3c-9efc-48ea375d048b">algospeak</a>”, which is used to avoid triggering algorithmic filters put in place to detect inappropriate content. In this case, algospeak may involve using internet slang, codes, euphemisms or emojis to replace words and phrases commonly associated with explicit content. </p>
<p>Many users also resort to algospeak because they feel TikTok’s algorithmic moderation is biased and unfair to marginalised communities. Users have reported on <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20563051231194586#bibr25-20563051231194586">a double standard</a>, wherein TikTok has suppressed educational content related to the LGBTQ+ community, while allowing harmful content to remain visible. </p>
<h2>Harmful content slips through the cracks</h2>
<p><a href="https://support.tiktok.com/community-guidelines#30">TikTok’s guidelines</a> on sexually explicit stories and sexualised posing are ambiguous. And its age-verification process relies on self-reported age, which users can easily bypass. </p>
<p>Many TikTok creators, including creators of pornography, use the platform to promote themselves and their content on other platforms such as PornHub or OnlyFans. For example, creator @jennyxrated posts suggestive and hypersexual content. She calls herself a “daddy’s girl” and presents as younger than she is.</p>
<p>Such content is popular on TikTok. It promotes unhealthy attitudes to sex and consent and perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes, such as suggesting women should be submissive to men.</p>
<p>Young boys struggling with mental health issues and loneliness are particularly vulnerable to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/17/incel-movement-extremism-internet-community-misogyny">“incel” rhetoric and misogynistic views</a> amplified through TikTok. Controversial figures such as Andrew Tate and <a href="https://www.intheknow.com/post/problematic-tiktok-dating-coach-branded-as-misogynist-of-the-year/">Russell Hartley</a> continue to be promoted by algorithms, driving traffic and supporting TikTok’s commercial interests. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.insider.com/andrew-tate-tiktok-ban-fanpages-misogynistic-content-circulating-2022-8">According to Business Insider</a>, videos featuring Tate had been viewed more than 13 billion times as of August 2022. This content <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/nov/06/tiktok-still-hosting-toxic-posts-of-banned-influencer-andrew-tate">continues to circulate</a> even though Tate has been banned. </p>
<p>Self-proclaimed men’s rights advocates centre their content on anti-feminist discourse, hyper-masculinity and hierarchical gender roles. What may seem like memes and “entertainment” can <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10610-023-09559-5">desensitise young boys</a> to rape culture, domestic violence and toxic masculinity. </p>
<p>TikTok’s promotion of idealistic and sexualised content is also harmful for the self-perception of young women and queer youth. This content portrays unrealistic body standards, which leads to comparison, <a href="https://newsroom.unsw.edu.au/news/health/tiktok-and-body-image-idealistic-content-may-be-detrimental-mental-health">increased body dissatisfaction</a> and a higher risk of developing eating disorders.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/anorexia-coach-sexual-predators-online-are-targeting-teens-wanting-to-lose-weight-platforms-are-looking-the-other-way-162938">'Anorexia coach': sexual predators online are targeting teens wanting to lose weight. Platforms are looking the other way</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Empowering sex education</h2>
<p>Due to its popularity, TikTok offers a unique opportunity to <a href="https://www.them.us/story/tiktok-sex-education-lgbtq-sexuality-online">help spread educational</a> content about sex. Doctors and gynaecologists use hashtags such as #obgyn to share content about sexual health, including topics such as consent, contraception and stigmas around sex. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@alirodmd">Dr Ali</a>, for instance, educates young women about periods and birth control, and is an advocate for women of colour. <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@sexedu">Sriha Srinivasan</a> promotes sex education for high-school students and discusses sex myths, consent, STIs, periods and reproductive justice. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="TiktokEmbed" data-react-props="{"url":"https://www.tiktok.com/@sexedu/video/7013923045874126086?is_from_webapp=1\u0026sender_device=pc\u0026web_id=7247360749801375234"}"></div></p>
<p><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmillyevans">Milly Evans</a> is a queer, non-binary, autistic sex-ed content creator who uses TikTok to advocate for inclusive sex education. They cover topics such as domestic abuse, consent in queer relationships, gender and sexual identities, body-safe sex toys and trans and non-binary rights.</p>
<p>These are just some examples of how TikTok can be a space for informative, inclusive and sex-positive content. However, such content may not receive the same engagement as more lewd and attention-grabbing videos since, like most social media apps, TikTok is optimised for engagement.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="TiktokEmbed" data-react-props="{"url":"https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmillyevans/video/7231574247104138523?is_from_webapp=1\u0026sender_device=pc\u0026web_id=7247360749801375234"}"></div></p>
<h2>A bird’s eye view</h2>
<p>Social media platforms face significant challenges in moderating harmful content effectively. Relying on platforms to self-regulate isn’t enough, so regulatory bodies need to step in.</p>
<p>Australia’s eSafety Commissioner has taken an active role by providing guidelines and resources for parents and users, and by pressuring platforms such as <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/technology/cyber-bullying-content-targeting-children-pulled-from-tiktok-20200713-p55bjt.html">TikTok to remove harmful content</a>. They’re also leading the way in addressing <a href="https://www.reuters.com/technology/tiktok-snapchat-others-sign-pledge-tackle-ai-generated-child-sex-abuse-images-2023-10-30/">AI-generated child sex abuse material</a> on social media.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/australia-has-fined-x-australia-over-child-sex-abuse-material-concerns-how-severe-is-the-issue-and-what-happens-now-215696">Australia has fined X Australia over child sex abuse material concerns. How severe is the issue – and what happens now?</a>
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</em>
</p>
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<p>When it comes to TikTok, our efforts should be poured into equipping young users with media literacy skills that can help keep them safe.</p>
<p>For children under 13, it’s up to parents to decide whether they allow access. It’s worth noting TikTok itself has an age limit of 13 years, and Common Sense Media <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-tiktok">doesn’t encourage</a> use by children under 15. If parents do decide to allow access for a child under 13, they should actively monitor the child’s activity.</p>
<p>While restricting apps’ use might seem like a quick fix, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1329878X211046396">our research</a> has found social media restrictions can strain parent-child relationships. Parents are better off taking proactive steps such as having open discussions, building trust, and educating themselves and their children about online risk.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>The Conversation reached out to TikTok for comment but did not receive a response before the deadline.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216114/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Milovan Savic receives funding from the Australian Research Council. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sonja Petrovic does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Many TikTok creators, including creators of pornography, use the platform to promote themselves and their explicit content on other platforms.Sonja Petrovic, Assistant Lecturer in Media and Communications, The University of MelbourneMilovan Savic, Research Fellow, ARC Centre of Excellence for Automated Decision-Making and Society, Swinburne University of TechnologyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2162902023-10-30T13:04:48Z2023-10-30T13:04:48ZSchools know sharing sex ed lessons with parents is vital – it’s something they already do<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/555872/original/file-20231025-29-eyhfau.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=8%2C26%2C5982%2C3961&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/teacher-having-meeting-parent-2354102377">Media_Photos/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The education secretary Gillian Keegan has <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/news/education-secretary-says-parents-can-see-sex-education-material">written to schools in England</a> stating that they should be sharing relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) teaching materials with parents and carers, even if copyright contracts with external providers of school resources appear to prevent them from doing so. </p>
<p>In another letter, this time to <a href="https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2023/10/24/education-secretarys-letter-to-parents-you-have-the-right-to-see-rshe-lesson-material/">parents and carers</a>, she outlines that they have a “fundamental right” to know what is being taught in RSHE sessions.</p>
<p>Keegan is right. Parents should know what their children are being taught – and parental involvement, particularly with subjects such as sex education, is vital. But the letters appear antagonistic and seem to imply that schools are not sharing what goes on in RSHE classes with parents. In reality this could not be further from the truth. </p>
<h2>Key role of parents</h2>
<p>Many years of robust educational research indicates that parents and carers are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/08920206211016453#bibr15-08920206211016453">vitally</a> <a href="https://mdpi-res.com/youth/youth-03-00065/article_deploy/youth-03-00065.pdf?version=1693560027">important</a> in the <a href="https://birmingham-primo.hosted.exlibrisgroup.com/primo-explore/fulldisplay?docid=44BIR_ALMA_DS21115912330004871&context=L&vid=44BIR_VU1&lang=en_US&search_scope=CSCOP_44BIR_DEEP&adaptor=Local%20Search%20Engine&tab=local&query=any,contains,parents%20in%20school%20education&offset=0">education</a> of their children and young people – for all subjects. This is especially pertinent for sex and relationships education. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/relationships-education-relationships-and-sex-education-rse-and-health-education">2019 statutory guidance</a> for RSHE outlines that, alongside children and young people, parents and carers should also be involved:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>All schools must have in place a written policy for relationships education and RSE. Schools must consult parents in developing and reviewing their policy. Schools should ensure that the policy meets the needs of pupils and parents and reflects the community they serve.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Parents requesting to see sessions and curriculum plans should be welcomed. Nevertheless, how this is done does need some thought. Putting materials online on a “parent portal”, <a href="https://twitter.com/educationgovuk/status/1716779900454023185">as Keegan suggests</a>, risks making them available without the context which is provided by a discussion with a teacher. This may skew understanding of what is being taught. </p>
<p>It is much more beneficial to talk with parents and carers who have concerns. Then, teachers can explain the rationale for sessions, why they are being taught, and the benefits to the wellbeing of children and young people. </p>
<p>As advocated by expert organisations such as <a href="https://www.brook.org.uk/parents-and-carers/rse-at-school/">Brook</a>, the <a href="https://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/news/news/home-school-partnership-rse-will-best-meet-childrens-needs">Sex Education Forum</a> and the <a href="https://pshe-association.org.uk/guidance/ks1-4/engaging-parents-governors">PHSE Association</a>, sharing RSHE sessions and curriculum plans with parents is not only a statutory obligation but it also provides opportunity to bridge the educational gap between home and school. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1716779900454023185"}"></div></p>
<p>Schools are aware that it is hugely beneficial for them to work with parents and carers – especially when teaching children and young people topics that are deemed sensitive. This reduces the chance of mixed messages about what is being taught. Engaging with parents can only be a good thing in these circumstances to ensure that children and young people receive a holistic approach to this vitally important subject area. </p>
<p>The problem schools often come up against is getting parents involved in the first place. This is due to a number of <a href="https://educationendowmentfoundation.org.uk/education-evidence/teaching-learning-toolkit/parental-engagement">different factors</a> that inhibit parental engagement with schools, such as time constraints.</p>
<p>When it comes to relationships and sex education in particular, some parents and carers may be concerned about what their children are being taught. And this is both OK and understandable.</p>
<p>There are many stigmas around talking about sexuality and relationships. Talking about sex often evokes <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/sophie_king_hill_stop_talking_about_the_weather_and_start_talking_about_sex">feelings of shame</a> and worry. </p>
<h2>Tools for teen life</h2>
<p>Many parents and carers are also often concerned that children and young people are too young to learn about sex. But teaching about sex early is about protecting children. <a href="https://www.un.org/esa/socdev/documents/youth/fact-sheets/youth-sexuality-education.pdf">Research</a> <a href="https://unesdoc.unesco.org/ark:/48223/pf0000260770">tells us</a> that young people who have <a href="https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(20)30456-0/fulltext">good relationships and sex education</a> from an early age are more likely to delay having sex. Good relationships and sex education can also help children and young people who are <a href="https://research.birmingham.ac.uk/en/publications/understanding-and-responding-to-sibling-sexual-abuse">being abused</a> to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2310970/">recognise this earlier</a>, rather than later. </p>
<p>Many children and young people will be <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/23268743.2021.1875028">getting their information</a> about relationships and sex from places outside lessons – such as <a href="https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/2023/how-young-people-are-learning-about-relationships-sex-sexuality">from porn</a>. A <a href="https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-report-reveals-truths-about-how-teens-engage-with-pornography-301717607.html">recent survey</a> of teens found that more than half had seen porn by age 13. </p>
<p>Good relationships and sex education allows children to better deal with experiences like this. It might sound worrying to hear that your child is learning about porn at school – but this is education that will help them.</p>
<p>A good RSHE curriculum is moulded by teachers, students, governors and the local community, alongside parents and carers: everyone listening and working together. This is something schools are already well aware of.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216290/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sophie King-Hill receives funding from the ESRC.</span></em></p>Schools are aware that it is hugely beneficial for them to work with parents and carers – especially when teaching topics that are deemed sensitive.Sophie King-Hill, Associate Professor at the Health Services Management Centre, University of BirminghamLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2155042023-10-12T15:58:32Z2023-10-12T15:58:32ZSex Education: a sex therapist’s advice on having a successful long-distance relationship<p>In the new season of Sex Education, Otis and Maeve, our favourite “will-they-won’t-they” couple (let’s be honest, Ross and Rachel aren’t quite as fun), are taking a chance on love again. However, as ever, things aren’t so easy. This time they have to work out how to be together while apart, as Maeve embarks on a writing course in the US. Yep, they are in an LDR (long-distance relationship).</p>
<p>Typically, LDRs are deemed less successful compared to couples in closer proximity. But being in close proximity doesn’t always go hand-in-hand with <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407504046115">relationship satisfaction</a>. I’ve seen this myself as a sex and relationship therapist, where I frequently encounter clients who, despite living side-by-side, still experience feelings of loneliness and a lack of intimacy with their partners.</p>
<p>And, according to a <a href="https://2date4love.com/long-distance-relationship-statistics/">survey</a> in 2021, 58% of couples in LDRs do manage to sustain a satisfactory lasting relationship. So don’t write them off. And if you’re in one yourself, here are some useful tips on how to negotiate the potential pitfalls of an LDR.</p>
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</figure>
<h2>1. Texting</h2>
<p>As Maeve and Otis’s relationship unfolds, they quickly learn how to navigate through the dos and don’ts of long-distance dating and communication mishaps. For example, while the duo starts off in a playful texting manner, communication suddenly comes to a halt. How the couple engage next is an example of how texts can be hard to interpret and lead to misunderstandings. </p>
<p>Take the <a href="https://weizmann.esploro.exlibrisgroup.com/esploro/outputs/993347967403596?institution=972WIS_INST&skipUsageReporting=true&recordUsage=false#file-0">question mark</a> for example – it can mean many things. Maeve asks Otis for a sexy picture, a request that goes unanswered so she sends him a “?”. While Maeve is expressing impatience or frustration, feeling like she is being ignored, Otis interprets the text as pressure. While it isn’t her intention, the text contributes to making him feel embarrassed, awkward and under pressure to respond. Same text, different feelings.</p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="Quarter life, a series by The Conversation" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p><em><strong><a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/topics/quarter-life-117947?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">This article is part of Quarter Life</a></strong>, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties. From the challenges of beginning a career and taking care of our mental health, to the excitement of starting a family, adopting a pet or just making friends as an adult. The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.</em></p>
<p><em>You may be interested in:</em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/ethical-non-monogamy-what-to-know-about-these-often-misunderstood-relationships-200785?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">Ethical non-monogamy: what to know about these often misunderstood relationships</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/five-important-things-you-should-have-learned-in-sex-ed-but-probably-didnt-202177?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">Five important things you should have learned in sex ed – but probably didn’t</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/love-languages-might-help-you-understand-your-partner-but-its-not-exactly-science-199040?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">‘Love languages’ might help you understand your partner – but it’s not exactly science</a></em></p>
<hr>
<p>In my experience, there are perhaps better ways of communicating by text. When we don’t have the words, we rely instead on limited <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563215002277?via%3Dihub">textual cues</a> – emoticons, question marks, gifs and so on – which makes it easy for our texts to be misconstrued and sometimes get “lost in translation”. Text messaging in LDRs demand exceptional communication skills. So always be clear about what you need (and how to ask for it) and always communicate openly and honestly about how you feel.</p>
<p>Other texting tips to consider when you are in LDRs:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Avoid heavy (emotionally loaded) topics by text.</p></li>
<li><p>Minimise ambiguity when texting to avoid misunderstandings.</p></li>
<li><p>Always check in with your emotions and self-regulate before texting your partner.</p></li>
<li><p>Consider time zones and different schedules.</p></li>
<li><p>Communicate frequently.</p></li>
<li><p>Be present and responsive during interactions.</p></li>
<li><p>Organise regular face-to-face meetings to maintain connectedness.</p></li>
</ul>
<h2>2. Understand attachment styles</h2>
<p>Distance can trigger feelings of <a href="https://ijip.in/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/18.01.141.20210903.pdf">jealousy</a> and insecurity. <a href="https://theconversation.com/attachment-theory-what-people-get-wrong-about-pop-psychologys-latest-trend-for-explaining-relationships-195034">Attachment theory</a> provides a valuable framework for understanding the formation of love relationships and what influences how individuals perceive, initiate and maintain romantic connections.</p>
<p>For example, individuals with a secure attachment style tend to have healthier, more stable and satisfying relationships. In contrast, <a href="https://newbeginningsfamilycounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Attachment.Style_.Article.docx">fearful-avoidants</a> fear rejection and often hold negative views of both themselves and their partner.</p>
<p>When <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324811134_Staying_Connected_An_Examination_of_Relationship_Maintenance_Behaviors_in_Long-Distance_Relationships">researchers</a> looked at how individuals connect and keep their relationships going, they found something interesting. People who are not so sure about their relationships avoid being close. They don’t express their true feelings or don’t like to talk about themselves in the relationship or don’t give much assurance. Assurance in this context is regarding love and how much you care about someone and the relationship. These <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407510363427">maintenance behaviours</a> are necessary for relationship satisfaction and for building trust.</p>
<p>For Otis, <a href="https://digitalcommons.du.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1242&context=etd">trust</a> is an issue as he grapples with a new handsome friend of Maeve’s. Feelings of inadequacy rise. Could his greatest fear be abandonment? And if so, might this explain his <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/241716101_A_relational_uncertainty_analysis_of_jealousy_trust_and_maintenance_in_long-distance_versus_geographically_close_relationships">uncertainty</a> about the status or future of the relationship?</p>
<p>Eventually, Otis opens up about his fears that Maeve is not fully committed and that she might never come back. This is a good example of a couple practising honesty and openly communicating their emotions, ultimately fostering a stronger connection between them. </p>
<h2>3. Creative long-distance sex</h2>
<p>Research has found that sex is beneficial to our <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550615616462">wellbeing</a>, whether it is solo or with a partner(s). Yet often the biggest challenge for monogamous couples in LDRs is the lack of physical closeness. </p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2n1D0pVKOTQ?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>So, how can LDR couples bridge that gap? Otis and Maeve have a go at phone sex, which they enhance with <a href="http://www.nicola-doering.de/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/D%C3%B6ring_Poeschl_2019_Experiences_Sex_Toys.pdf">sex toys</a>.</p>
<p>Even though couples are not able to actually touch each other, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02654075211043296">technology</a> is incredibly useful in maintaining a sense of togetherness. Many sex toy companies have developed a range of toys for long-distance couples, enabling them to connect interactively to their lover’s device.</p>
<p>In our increasingly interconnected world, it is fair to say, that navigating LDRs can be complex. The success of these relationships hinges on many factors, including the quality of communication, the level of commitment, attachment styles, trust, and the coping strategies adopted by those involved. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, despite occasional challenges and setbacks, Otis and Maeve seem to be handling their long-distance relationship quite well.</p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/536131/original/file-20230706-17-460x2d.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p><em>Looking for something good? Cut through the noise with a carefully curated selection of the latest releases, live events and exhibitions, straight to your inbox every fortnight, on Fridays. <a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/newsletters/something-good-156">Sign up here</a>.</em></p>
<hr><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215504/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Chantal Gautier does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Long-distance relationships are hard but there are ways to make your connection stronger.Chantal Gautier, Lecturer, Sex and Relationship Therapist, University of WestminsterLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2140292023-09-21T11:37:26Z2023-09-21T11:37:26ZSex Education review: this ‘kind comedy’ climaxes with its most mature and progressive series yet<p>Netflix’s hit show <a href="https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80197526">Sex Education</a> is back for its much-anticipated fourth and final series. The show follows Otis (Asa Butterfield) as he reluctantly becomes his school’s resident sex guru – despite having little experience himself – thanks to years of second-hand sex education from his mum, Jean (Gillian Anderson), a sex therapist.</p>
<p>Over the past three seasons, we’ve watched as Otis and his friends navigate their awkward teenage years as love, life and sex present them with all sorts of obstacles. </p>
<p>There are many reasons for the success of the series. It has provided <a href="https://theconversation.com/netflixs-sex-education-is-doing-sex-education-better-than-most-schools-170776">a real sex education</a> for its viewers through storylines that deal with such issues as female desire and orgasm, performance anxiety, douching, asexuality, STDs, masturbation and <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/#:%7E:text=Vaginismus%20is%20the%20body's%20automatic,previously%20enjoyed%20painless%20penetrative%20sex.">vaginismus</a>. It also features brilliant, daring writing and acting from a multi-ethnic and LGBTQ+ cast.</p>
<p>Sex Education can be placed within the popular new genre of “<a href="https://online.ucpress.edu/fq/article/75/1/35/118489/Netflix-and-Heal-The-Shifting-Meanings-of-Binge?fbclid=IwAR3kilHk_YnXjXDP4HW7ZYQNLliZUi2_VWR43mMx8emwc0_GjK3FG04labk">kind TV</a>” – along with series such as <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10986410/">Ted Lasso</a>, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3526078/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_5_nm_3_q_schitt">Schitt’s Creek</a> and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10638036/">Heartstopper</a>. As series creator and lead writer Laurie Nunn said to the press ahead of season four:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I hope that in some way it feels a bit like a hug from the TV. I really wanted to make a show that I would have loved to watch when I was a teenager … So a show that says it’s okay to be a bit different and to not always fit into the mould; that you can still love yourself and have a great life and great friendships – that would have meant a lot to me.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Nunn certainly achieves this, and every character finds their “safe space” (to quote Jean) in this show. Fans will love this final series, enjoying the return of the central cast, mourning <a href="https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/drama/sex-education-season-4-cast-leaving/">the departure of some</a> while (hopefully) welcoming other exciting new characters.</p>
<h2>LGBTQ+ storylines</h2>
<p>Exploring identities and relationships is prioritised over sex in season four, as the series matures along with the students. They find themselves at new and more progressive Cavendish College, after their old school, Moordale, is closed due to the scandals of last season. Perhaps because there is less to push against now, there is surprisingly little sex on screen in this final series.</p>
<p>While Moordale aimed to rein in its sexually- and gender-curious students, Cavendish is totally different and “super queer” – to the delight of the former Moordale students. Otis notes that “it’s like Amsterdam” and Eric replies “but in space”, pointing to the teen utopianism of the final season.</p>
<p>The student-led college offers yoga, daily meditation, silent discos, sound baths and an emphasis on kindness and mental health. As a kind comedy, Sex Education both celebrates and gently mocks the hyper-worthiness of this culture. </p>
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<p>This season, trans storylines are given more prominence. It’s a school where the popular power couple are trans-fem Abbi (Anthony Lexa) and trans-masc Roman (Felix Mufti). The non-binary character Cal (Dua Saleh), whom we met in season three, explores their trans-masculine identity and we see them experience the effects of taking testosterone once they turned 18. </p>
<p>Sex Education is so cleverly written and performed that this apparent utopia also has its flaws. The first three seasons centred on “the Untouchables” – Ruby, Olivia and Anwar – who pride themselves on their put-downs and exclusivity. However, their character arcs revealed their complexities, vulnerabilities and occasional acts of kindness.</p>
<p>Season four, while showcasing and advocating kindness, also reveals the power dynamics at play. There is a hierarchy in every human interaction and Sex Education uses humour to poke fun at the hero worship directed at Abbi and Roman, and the exclusionary cliques that surround their group, the Coven. Meanwhile Otis enters into a rivalry with the college’s own sex therapist, O (Thaddea Graham) – a rivalry that is as much about ego as the desire to help.</p>
<h2>Familiar characters and new directions</h2>
<p>I’m currently co-editing a book on Sex Education with Professor Rob Stone, so I know the show well and this season confirms its place as one of the most radical and progressive on our screens. It continues to break boundaries in its portrayal of gender, sexual preferences and new identities.</p>
<p>But more care is taken in this series over characters with disabilities. Isaac (George Robinson), a wheelchair user who was previously a side character, is now central and an active member of Cavendish College, with his own narrative arc. Aisha (Alexandra James) is deaf and an integral member of the popular group. </p>
<p>As well as these additions, everything that fans of the series love is still there. We continue to be engaged by the core characters’ messy lives and loves. The show is still visually gorgeous, thanks to the backdrop of the Welsh countryside, and the bright and bold fashion choices continue to dazzle. The series has crafted fantastic characters that audiences have grown to love and care about, and the final season does not disappoint.</p>
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<p><em>Looking for something good? Cut through the noise with a carefully curated selection of the latest releases, live events and exhibitions, straight to your inbox every fortnight, on Fridays. <a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/newsletters/something-good-156">Sign up here</a>.</em></p>
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Deborah Shaw does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>There’s less sex but more exploration as the Moordale crew embark on new adventures in the show’s last season.Deborah Shaw, Professor of Film and Screen Studies, University of PortsmouthLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2109682023-08-08T18:43:14Z2023-08-08T18:43:14ZIgnore the politics – many parents want to work with schools on sexuality education<p>Relationship and sexuality education has, yet again, become a political talking point ahead of this year’s election. </p>
<p>National Party deputy leader Nicola Willis recently <a href="https://www.thenews.co.nz/news/national-leaders-hold-public-meeting/">told a public meeting</a> that sex education was a job for her and her husband, “based on our values and our views of the world […] I want my education system focused on teaching my children how to read, how to write and how to do maths”.</p>
<p>While Willis may have had a receptive audience, interviews with parents of children between the ages of 11 and 14 show she may be in the minority. As contentious as the topic can be, many parents want to work with schools to educate their children about relationships and sexuality. </p>
<p><a href="https://ir.canterbury.ac.nz/items/4c2d8c40-a845-449f-bf17-fffd0cb61158">My research</a> offers a glimpse into just how complicated, yet important, the topic of sexuality education can be – and why it it so vital we ensure all young people have access to quality relationships and sexuality education.</p>
<h2>From sex to sexuality education</h2>
<p>For much of the 20th century, sex education in New Zealand centred on population control and Christian moral norms. </p>
<p>It wasn’t until 1985 that sex education became part of the school curriculum. But parents were able to pull their children out of the classes, pointing to a general acceptance that sex education was a controversial topic. With the scare of HIV/AIDS, classes focused on physical aspects of sex and how to practice safe sex. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/five-important-things-you-should-have-learned-in-sex-ed-but-probably-didnt-202177">Five important things you should have learned in sex ed – but probably didn't</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>In 1999, <a href="https://teara.govt.nz/en/sexualities/page-3">sex education became sexuality education</a>. The shift was meant to introduce a more holistic view of the topic, which includes physical, social, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects. This was much broader than sex education, which related only to the physical aspects of sexual and reproductive knowledge. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.nzshs.org/recommended-research-publications/212-sexuality-education-guide-2015/file">A 2015 guide</a> from the Ministry of Education said sexuality education should take a “positive view of sexual development as a natural part of growing up”. This frames sexuality first and foremost as a source of human potential and pleasure.</p>
<p>Since then, the curriculum has evolved and broadened further – with sexuality education becoming <a href="https://parents.education.govt.nz/primary-school/learning-at-school/sexuality-education/">relationships and sexuality education</a> (RSE). </p>
<p>Introduced in 2020, RSE starts from year one and includes learning to be a good friend, sense of identity, how we care for other people, and consent. Older students develop knowledge and skills to negotiate positive intimate relationships and to critique media messages harmful to wellbeing. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1406742621704253441"}"></div></p>
<h2>The contested ground of sexuality education</h2>
<p>My research examined the complicated and evolving role of the parent as sexuality educator – particularly in the digital age. But I also looked at how parents felt about the role of schools in teaching children about sexuality. </p>
<p>International research has found that <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/340977935_Sexualities_Education">teachers overestimate parental opposition</a> to
sexuality education. </p>
<p>In New Zealand, conservative and religious lobby groups, as well as some media, frame <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-sex/88351652/leave-sex-education-to-parents-no-thanks">parents and schools in opposition to each other</a> over who is the “best” provider of sexuality education. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/i-always-get-horny-am-i-not-normal-teenage-girls-often-feel-shame-about-pleasure-sex-education-needs-to-address-this-159543">'I always get horny ... am I not normal?': teenage girls often feel shame about pleasure. Sex education needs to address this</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>But the parents who participated in my small group interviews were, in fact, supportive of relationship and sexuality education in schools. As one parent said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>There is a role for schools to play in the sexual education of children, but there’s also a role that parents play. And it’s defining where and how the two work together.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Another parent commented:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I’ve always seen teachers as an extension of parenting, personally. So if my child can come and ask me something I’d like to believe that they could go and ask a teacher the same.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>A third parent highlighted the importance of the classroom setting:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I actually think it’s really good for kids to be sitting in a room with kids their own age […] all hearing the same thing and talking about it to each other and just demystifying it.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>These parents also understood how important it was to ensure young people have multiple sources of sexuality education – both at home and in the classroom.</p>
<p>One parent discussed just how lacking her own sex education had been harmful: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Talking about the good stuff would have really helped me with those bad decisions. It would have been like, “Yeah, actually this isn’t supposed to hurt. This is supposed to be nice.” Because I didn’t talk about it with anyone, so I didn’t have anyone telling me, actually it’s not supposed to be like that. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>While supportive of sexuality education in schools, parents wanted schools to consult more so parents could understand what was being taught. </p>
<p>A 2018 <a href="https://ero.govt.nz/our-research/promoting-wellbeing-through-sexuality-education">Education Review Office report</a> found only 25% of schools were rated “good” at connecting with their communities on the relationships and sexuality curriculum. The majority of schools tended to use surveys with low response rates from parents.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1587921429122584576"}"></div></p>
<h2>What young people want</h2>
<p>During separate research I did for the the new app <a href="https://www.beyondthebirdsandbees.co.nz/">Te Puāwaitanga: Beyond the Birds and the Bees</a>, young people told us they wanted a safe, reliable platform to access information and open up conversations about sexual health, relationships, gender and sexuality. </p>
<p>In the absence of open discussions at home on relationships and sexuality, friends or pornography become the default sex educator. <a href="https://www.beehive.govt.nz/sites/default/files/2020-12/Classification%20Office-4.pdf">Research from the Classification Office</a> found one in four New Zealanders first see porn
by age 12, and most are not seeking it out when they first see it. A majority of
young people (75%) have seen porn by age 17.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/schools-urgently-need-to-tackle-rape-culture-by-educating-pupils-about-online-world-158159">Schools urgently need to tackle rape culture by educating pupils about online world</a>
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<p>Many of the young people we spoke with said they have limited opportunities to talk to their parents about sexuality and so school becomes a safe space. School is also a place for them to hear a range of views about relationships, sex and diverse sexualities.</p>
<p>As one student said:</p>
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<p>I trust my parents to tell me what they think, but school allows us to hear what other people think.</p>
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<p>In a complex world, relationships and sexuality education aims to give young people the critical skills to navigate the uncertainty around them. It needs to be a combination deal with parents and schools working together. </p>
<p>But this can only happen after listening to the voices of young people. After all, isn’t education about relationships and sexuality meant for them in the first place?</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210968/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Tracy Clelland received a Lotteries Grant to undertake research for Te Puāwaitanaga: Beyond the Birds and Bees.</span></em></p>A vocal minority is calling for sexuality education to be pulled from schools. But my research shows many parents and young people want and need safe places to discuss relationships and sex.Tracy Clelland, Lecturer in Health Education, University of CanterburyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2099442023-07-24T12:15:09Z2023-07-24T12:15:09ZMassachusetts is updating its sex education guidelines for the first time in 24 years<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/537922/original/file-20230717-232909-qmmoii.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C8%2C5472%2C3628&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A dozen U.S. states still do not mandate sex education in schools.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/happy-young-group-of-multiracial-students-hanging-royalty-free-image/1415841874?phrase=high+school+classroom+students&adppopup=true">Xavier Lorenzo/Moment via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>In June 2023, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts shared with the public a draft of a new framework that will guide <a href="https://www.doe.mass.edu/sfs/healthframework/">how elementary, middle and high schools in the state approach sex education</a>. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.doe.mass.edu/frameworks/health/1999/1099.pdf">last time Massachusetts issued guidelines</a> that specify expectations for what Massachusetts students learn about sex in schools was 24 years ago, when most U.S. homes were not yet internet-connected. </p>
<p>The new guidelines are part of a larger framework that addresses many aspects of health, including physical education, nutrition and hygiene. They include important improvements over the 1999 version, including standards that pertain to the well-being of gender and sexual minority populations. That’s noteworthy, given that other U.S. states have recently <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/04/19/florida-bans-teaching-gender-identity-sexuality-through-12-th-grade/11695779002/">prohibited classroom education about gender identity and sexual orientation</a>.</p>
<p>The draft Massachusetts framework has been in development since 2018 but is not yet final. After a public comment period, which is open until Aug. 28, the framework is subject to approval by the commonwealth’s Board of Elementary and Secondary Education and could be adopted as early as the fall of 2023.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A teenager lies on his bed while looking at his laptop." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/537923/original/file-20230717-184356-u9hkhb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">For information about sex, young people turn to online pornography more often than talking to friends or parents.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/teenage-boy-in-his-bedroom-using-a-laptop-royalty-free-image/1097875056?phrase=high+school+students+watching+disturbing+images+online&adppopup=true">Richard Bailey/Corbis via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>I’m a public health researcher who <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=BgjSYDgAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">focuses on sex education and healthy relationships</a>. I have co-developed and tested a new sex education module for high school students in Massachusetts with funding from the National Institutes of Health, so I read the part of the framework that deals with sex education with great interest. </p>
<p>I’ll provide some more detail on the Massachusetts framework below, but first it is important to understand the state of sex education in the U.S.</p>
<h2>Sex education and pornography</h2>
<p>Many young people in the U.S are not getting the sex education that they need. Currently, only 38 U.S. states and the District of Columbia mandate any kind of sex education. As a result, it isn’t surprising that <a href="https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/adolescents-teens-receipt-sex-education-united-states">fewer than half</a> of U.S. adolescents say that they have received information about where to get birth control before having heterosexual intercourse for the first time. And the racial disparities are concerning: Black and Hispanic teens are less likely than white teens to receive education about prevention of sexually transmitted infections or HIV, or <a href="http://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2021.08.027">where to get birth control</a>. </p>
<p>So where do teenagers and young adults go to get information about sex, in the absence of comprehensive sex education at school? </p>
<p>According to a nationally representative <a href="http://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01877-7">study that my team published in 2021</a>, young adults in the U.S. are more likely to turn to pornography than to their friends, parents, doctors or any other source. That’s a problem, because pornography isn’t designed to relay medically accurate or helpful information about sex — it’s designed to get clicks or likes, make money and entertain the viewer.</p>
<p>Massachusetts is not one of the states that mandates sex education. However, <a href="https://malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartI/TitleXII/Chapter71/Section1">state law does require</a> all public schools to teach health education. As a local control state, Massachusetts issues frameworks and guidance and allows local school districts boards to decide how to implement them. This approach will continue with the new framework once adopted.</p>
<p>Importantly, the new Massachusetts framework recognizes the prevalence of pornography, and it addresses other critical sex education topics for the modern world. </p>
<p>For example, the framework specifies that in grades 6 to 8, adolescents should learn about laws related to sexual digital imagery. This is important because otherwise they may not realize that possessing or sending nude digital photos of people younger than 18 years old is a crime even if the sender is also a minor. </p>
<p>The framework also suggests that adolescents should be able to analyze similarities and differences between friendships, romantic relationships and sexual relationships, and discuss various ways to show affection within each. It expects them to be able to define sexual consent and describe factors, such as drug and alcohol use, that can influence capacity to give consent. It recommends teaching strategies to help students recognize when someone is grooming or recruiting a young person for possible commercial sexual exploitation like human trafficking.</p>
<p>While these points are strong, I would like to see a recommendation that schools tell youth that mainstream online pornography is not a good source of information about sexual behavior.</p>
<h2>A series of online games</h2>
<p>Our research team, which includes <a href="https://www.bu.edu/sph/profile/kimberly-nelson/">Kimberly Nelson of Boston University,</a>, <a href="https://sph.unc.edu/adv_profile/julia-campbell/">Ph.D student Julia Campbell of the University of North Carolina</a> and BU <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomeka-frieson/">masters student Tomeka Frieson</a>, has been working on new sex education teaching materials for Massachusetts high schools for <a href="https://reporter.nih.gov/search/2sD11hHbEka-FPXly3o0yw/project-details/10406366">the past two years</a>. As researchers, we endeavored to create an online sex education module that reflected the best available evidence and feedback that we got from young people. </p>
<p>Our teaching materials are in the form of short, online games that students engage with on their own time, and then come back to the classroom to discuss. One of the games has students order the effectiveness of 11 different contraceptive methods. Another provides them with information about ways pornography can provide unhelpful expectations about sex and sexuality. A third game invites students to act as an advice columnist to solve relationship problems for peers. </p>
<p>When we tested the materials with 54 teens ages 14-18 years old in Massachusetts in 2022, we found a statistically significant positive impact on a range of outcomes, from increased condom use to fewer experiences of abuse by a dating partner. We will partner with a number of Massachusetts high schools in the next several years to continue testing the impact of our module. </p>
<h2>Reading the framework</h2>
<p>In reading the new Massachusetts guidelines, our team noted several strengths of its approach. </p>
<p>First, the framework is evidence-based. In other words, the recommendations reflect the latest and best available research about how adolescents develop, learn and behave with regard to sex and sexuality. </p>
<p>Second, the guidance is developmentally and age-appropriate, with different recommendations for different grade levels, and with careful attention to diverse perspectives, cultural differences, and the importance of delivering material in a way that would not traumatize students.</p>
<p>Third, the framework encourages youths’ critical thinking, reasoning, decision-making and problem-solving. </p>
<p>It is my hope that Massachusetts will strengthen the guidance on pornography. If it does, the new framework will be well positioned to serve as a national model.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/209944/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emily Rothman receives funding from the National Institutes of Health. The content is solely the responsibility of the author and does not necessarily represent the official views of the National Institutes of Health. </span></em></p>Twelve states do not require sex education of any kind.Emily Rothman, Professor and Chair, Occupational Therapy; and Professor of Community Health Sciences, Boston UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2099792023-07-18T22:53:35Z2023-07-18T22:53:35ZBig W has withdrawn Welcome to Sex from its stores to protect staff – but teen sex education can keep young people safe<p>Teaching young people about gender, sex and sexuality has long been controversial. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=766&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=766&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=766&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=963&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=963&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538047/original/file-20230718-25-h2oe2.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=963&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<p>The most recent debate is over Dr Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes’ <a href="https://www.hardiegrant.com/au/publishing/bookfinder/book/welcome-to-sex-by-melissa-kang/9781760509538">Welcome to Sex: Your no-silly-questions guide to sexuality, pleasure and figuring it out</a>, which has been withdrawn from sale at <a href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/teens/anger-intensifies-over-welcome-to-sex-book-in-big-w-and-target/news-story/8d87194408908c18b2cccd14c73ac4db">Big W</a> stores this week, after “multiple incidents of abuse” of its staff by angry critics of the book. However, Big W “stands by” Welcome to Sex, which it calls “educational, age-appropriate and inclusive”. The department store will continue to sell it online.</p>
<p>Two sides to the debate are playing out. </p>
<p>One side <a href="https://www.skynews.com.au/australia-news/disgusting-big-w-blasted-for-selling-sick-sexual-book-written-for-children-by-melissa-kang-and-abcs-yumi-stynes/news-story/4f609491783ea9c788a1e62e7c7e1798">argues</a> the book is a graphic sex guide that’s “teaching sex” to young children. Critics have taken particular issue with small sections of the book that address inclusive sexual practices beyond penetrative sex, including “fingering”, “oral sex”, “scissoring”, and “anal sex”.</p>
<p>They are also critical of the inclusion of what they term “<a href="https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-70060-1_86-1#Bib1">gender ideology</a>”. Others are accusing the authors of “<a href="https://theconversation.com/grooming-an-expert-explains-what-it-is-and-how-to-identify-it-181573">grooming</a>” children – a term that is <a href="https://www.politifact.com/article/2022/may/11/why-its-not-grooming-what-research-says-about-gend/">increasingly misused</a>.</p>
<p>The other side is celebrating Welcome to Sex for providing comprehensive and inclusive sex education. Many are <a href="https://twitter.com/AdeleKThomas/status/1681093744291098625">saying</a> they wish they had access to this kind of book growing up. </p>
<p>The book describes itself as a “frank, age-appropriate introductory guide to sex and sexuality for teens of all genders […] inclusive, reassuring and all about keeping sex fun, real, and shame-free”.</p>
<p>I am a researcher on texts for young people that deal with issues around sex, sexuality and gender. With my colleague, Dr Paul Venzo, we have been examining the rise of (and demand for) books that provide an inclusive, safe and engaging way to discuss the essential topic of sex for young people. </p>
<h2>Sex education books aren’t new</h2>
<p>Sex education books for young people aren’t new. Non-fiction picture books from the 1970s like Peter Mayle’s <a href="https://www.dymocks.com.au/book/where-did-i-come-from-by-peter-mayle-and-arthur-robins-9780330273442">Where Did I Come From?</a> (1973) and <a href="https://www.dymocks.com.au/book/whats-happening-to-me-by-peter-mayle-and-arthur-robins-9780330273435">What’s Happening to Me?</a> (1975) began the trend of introducing young people to sex in direct and detailed ways. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781003131434-4/tingly-feeling-paul-venzo">Paul Venzo’s research</a> shows there are now more than a thousand sex education books for young people, in English alone. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538054/original/file-20230718-23-kdv2fz.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Peter Mayle’s Where Did I Come From? started the trend of child-centred sex education books.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">AbeBooks</span></span>
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<p>While books like Where Did I Come From? present sex and gender in binary and heterornomative ways, sex education books have expanded to include diverse sexualities and genders – with a greater focus on race, disability, culture, and religion. </p>
<p>Many books now include discussions of consent and are careful to not only focus on the “risks” of sex, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, but also on pleasure, safety and communication. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/we-havent-been-taught-about-sex-teens-talk-about-how-to-fix-school-sex-education-206001">'We haven't been taught about sex': teens talk about how to fix school sex education</a>
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<h2>Sex education for young people is valuable</h2>
<p>Sex education books can be used by parents and caregivers to guide tricky conversations about puberty, sex, gender and sexuality.</p>
<p>At what age should young people learn about sex? It’s difficult to say. Context and nuance is important. It depends on the identity and life experience of the young person, their education and maturity levels, their religious, geographical or cultural background, and the wishes of their parents or caregivers. So we should be careful about making generalisations. </p>
<p>However, the basics of sex education, such as bodily autonomy and consent, can be taught to primary-school aged children – and younger. </p>
<p>Yumi Stynes is quoted saying she’d “be happy with a mature eight-year-old having a flick through”. Many critics are using this to say the book is targeted at readers as young as eight. </p>
<p>But while a parent might make an informed decision about whether to make the book available to their younger child, Welcome to Sex is clearly targeted to a teen audience. This is evident in the length, design, complexity, marketing, language and age of the teen contributors inside the book (the youngest is 17).</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/538066/original/file-20230718-19-oqxycp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Welcome to Sex is clearly targeted to a teen audience.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Karolina Grabowska/Pexels</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<p>Some critics are arguing the book teaches young people how to perform sex acts. But we know young people are not ignorant about sex. Whether it’s through the internet, media, or friends, young people access sexually explicit material from a young age, <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12119-020-09771-z">with many learning about sex from pornography</a> in harmful ways. </p>
<p>A <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/research/commissioned-reports/teenagers-and-sex">2019 research report</a> from the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that 53% of boys in the study and 14% of girls intentionally viewed pornography before the age of 16. <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/research/research-reports/effects-pornography-children-and-young-people">A UK study</a> reported that 53% of 11–16 year olds had watched pornography, most before the age of 14.</p>
<p>Comprehensive and inclusive sex education <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1054139X20304560">that begins at a young age</a> can prevent child sex abuse, decrease rates of domestic violence and intimate partner violence, and reduce homophobic bullying.</p>
<p>Sex education texts play a vital role. They can be given to young people to navigate with a parent or caregiver, or as an individual resource. </p>
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<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-you-teach-a-primary-school-child-about-consent-you-can-start-with-these-books-190063">How do you teach a primary school child about consent? You can start with these books</a>
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<h2>So, what’s in Welcome to Sex?</h2>
<p>Welcome to Sex is the latest in the “Welcome” series by former Dolly Doctor Melissa Kang and broadcaster and mother Yumi Stynes. The series also includes <a href="https://www.hardiegrant.com/au/publishing/bookfinder/book/welcome-to-your-period-by-yumi-stynes/9781760503512">Welcome to Your Period</a>, <a href="https://www.hardiegrant.com/au/publishing/bookfinder/book/welcome-to-consent-by-yumi-stynes/9781760507497">Welcome to Consent</a> and <a href="https://www.hardiegrant.com/au/publishing/bookfinder/book/welcome-to-your-boobs-by-melissa-kang/9781760507503">Welcome to Your Boobs</a>. </p>
<p>The book’s introduction states, “Welcome to a book about sex and being a teen!” Its two key sections are teen-centered, leading with questions and reflections from young people. Despite claims the book is a “sex manual”, most of it is centered around the tricky emotions, concerns and questions young people might have about sex.</p>
<p>In the first section, teens are introduced to “safe learning”. Chapters cover definitions (of both sex and body parts), communication, relationships, sexual and gender diversity, myths about sex, and reasons to not have sex. </p>
<p>The second section explores getting intimate with someone. Importantly, though, it tells teens: “It’s totally OK if you’re not ready for any of that.” This section focuses on things like consent, pleasure, intimacy, cheating, safety, and different ways people might have sex.</p>
<p>Welcome to Sex treats teenagers seriously and meets them where they are. It intersperses sex education with young people’s reflections, questions for the “doctor” and facts from experts. It uses clear language and inclusive imagery.</p>
<p>The important thing for concerned parents to remember is that sex is an important topic we can’t ignore. Sex education books combat misinformation – and empower young people with essential information to keep them informed and safe.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/209979/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emma Whatman is affiliated with The Australasian Children’s Literature Association for Research (ACLAR) and The Australian Women’s and Gender Studies Association (AWGSA).</span></em></p>Yumi Stynes and Melissa Kang’s sex education guide for teens is a topic of hot debate for its frankness. It also provides comprehensive, inclusive sex education that combats misinformation.Emma Whatman, Subject Coordinator in Gender Studies, The University of MelbourneLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2060012023-05-24T20:10:41Z2023-05-24T20:10:41Z‘We haven’t been taught about sex’: teens talk about how to fix school sex education<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/527668/original/file-20230523-15-gq9kg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=18%2C0%2C4102%2C2843&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Last week, the Albanese government announced an <a href="https://ministers.education.gov.au/clare/expert-group-boost-respectful-relationships-education-schools">expert panel</a> to support relationships and sexuality education in Australian schools. </p>
<p>The group is lead by the head of anti-violence organisation Our Watch, Patty Kinnersly, and includes consent advocate Chanel Contos. It will do a “rapid review” into consent and respectful relationships programs to identify “opportunities for improvement”.</p>
<p>This follows a new focus on consent and healthy relationships in Australian schools. The former Coalition government made consent a <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-17/mandatory-consent-lessons-to-be-taught-in-schools/100841202">mandatory part of the curriculum</a>.</p>
<p>We are talking to teenagers about the sex education they receive at schools. This research highlights several areas young people think can be improved. They are particularly concerned sex education most often does not discuss actual sex.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/mandatory-consent-education-is-a-huge-win-for-australia-but-consent-is-just-one-small-part-of-navigating-relationships-177456">Mandatory consent education is a huge win for Australia – but consent is just one small part of navigating relationships</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Our research</h2>
<p>As part of broader, <a href="https://www.ecu.edu.au/schools/arts-and-humanities/research-and-creative-activity/communication-media-and-cultural-studies/adolescents-perceptions-of-harm-from-accessing-online-content">ongoing research</a> into online sexual content, we interviewed 30 West Australian teens (aged 11-17), between 2021 and 2023, to explore their experiences of sex education and where they source information to answer their questions about sex and relationships. </p>
<p>Eighteen interviewees were followed up with 12 months after we had first spoken, to see if their perspectives had changed.</p>
<p>Interviews began as some schools started teaching consent in 2021, with sexual assault being widely debated in the wake of the women’s <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-womens-march-was-a-huge-success-now-comes-the-hard-part-how-to-actually-get-something-done-157225">March4Justice rallies</a> around the country and a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/15/do-they-even-know-they-did-this-to-us-why-i-launched-the-school-sexual-assault-petition">school sexual assault petition</a> spearheaded by Contos. We have continued to gather young people’s perspectives as consent education became mandatory at the start of this school year.</p>
<h2>Only the basics</h2>
<p>The majority of the young people interviewed told us they were only taught the basics about consent – along the lines of “no means no, and yes means yes”. As interviewee Miles* (17) told us: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>It’s always broadly talked about […] but it’s never actually talked about what it means and what it actually is.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Nicola (16) added:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>It was more just like if someone says ‘no’, ‘stop’ or things like that and if you don’t like it say ‘no’ and things instead of the depths of it.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Consent is complex, so teaching it without necessary detail or context can have devastating results. Some young people may feel unable to say “no” safely in unwanted sexual experiences, and others are genuinely unaware a sexual act occurring, may not be consensual. </p>
<p>At the same time, teens also felt like the focus was on consent at the expense of other information and topics. As Tiffany (14) said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>The whole thing is consent, ‘cos that’s such a big thing nowadays […] we haven’t been taught about sex.</p>
</blockquote>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-young-people-about-sex-is-too-important-to-get-wrong-here-are-5-videos-that-actually-hit-the-mark-159438">Teaching young people about sex is too important to get wrong. Here are 5 videos that actually hit the mark</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>A focus on 'what could go wrong’</h2>
<p>Interviewees also felt current sex education was overwhelmingly fear-based and focused on safety. As 15-year-old Lauren explained, she and her classmates had been taught “what could go wrong and not anything else”. </p>
<blockquote>
<p>They talk more about sexual violence and sexual assault than they do about sex itself and the benefits of sex and pleasure […]. It makes it feel like it’s bad to have sex and that there’s no pleasure in it and it’s harmful. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>The focus was on risk and biological aspects also left many students confused in terms of how to navigate real-life sexual scenarios safely. As Caris (15) explained:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>It’s hard not knowing what to do and where to put yourself and how to move and all of that. It’s hard for teenagers and they don’t feel comfortable going to their parents.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Warren (17) said this meant teenagers were going online to find more information. </p>
<blockquote>
<p>The lack of education causes the younger generation to resort to online personal education therefore resulting in more negative or destructive sexual encounters.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This echoes a <a href="https://www.latrobe.edu.au/arcshs/work/national-survey-of-secondary-students-and-sexual-health-2022">2021–22 national survey</a>, which found 95% of young Australians thought sex education was an important part of the curriculum. But only 24.8% said their most recent class was “very” or “extremely” relevant to them. </p>
<h2>Teachers don’t seem trained</h2>
<p>Young people interviewed also felt like their educators did not have enough training to be teaching about relationships and sexuality, which is taught as part of <a href="https://v9.australiancurriculum.edu.au/f-10-curriculum/learning-areas/health-and-physical-education/foundation-year_year-1_year-2_year-3_year-4_year-5_year-6_year-7_year-8_year-9_year-10?view=quick&detailed-content-descriptions=0&hide-ccp=0&hide-gc=0&side-by-side=1&strands-start-index=0&subjects-start-index=0">health and physical education</a> from the first year of school to Year 10. As Nicola said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>It’s strange they have sport teachers teaching it, it’s not a designated teacher for that program. I think it makes a lot more sense if it’s someone who actually is knowledgeable.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Although a number of teens experienced enthusiastic, invigorating teachers, other interviewees wondered why an outside expert could not be brought in to teach about relationships and sexuality.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1459693287762284553"}"></div></p>
<h2>What needs to change</h2>
<p>Consent education is extremely important. But if there is an overwhelming focus on consent and risks, education programs can create fear around sex. This can lead to <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1085305">trauma and shame</a>. A Rebecca (16) told us: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>It was called healthy relationships, but I reckon should just be called consent ‘cos that’s pretty much all we did the whole term.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Young people need be part of a culture that cares for and respect one another, rather than simply being taught to gain permission for sex. Young people need real-life strategies and communication techniques so they can talk about sex openly and clearly. </p>
<p>There also needs to be <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12344738/">balanced information</a> with discussion about the positive aspects of sex, such as building intimacy, communicating and pleasure. </p>
<p>This means consent education needs to be included <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2017.1393407?casa_token=YzAEBqKdEqcAAAAA%3AHh-ILgiBK-y2-IZ_DcwNHrRnADChhJamB3PdgC-jDPfY_y9azIOlXBDf0GzHMIs1VUC8Twm797J4BA">as an important ingredient</a> within a more comprehensive relationships and sexuality program. </p>
<p>We also need to ensure teachers are supported and receive <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-020-00520-3">appropriate training</a>, working alongside visiting specialists as needed. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/not-as-simple-as-no-means-no-what-young-people-need-to-know-about-consent-155736">Not as simple as 'no means no': what young people need to know about consent</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Learning about sex doesn’t mean young people will have it</h2>
<p>There’s a common misconception that discussing sex encourages young people to have sex earlier. However, <a href="https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/7/5/e014791">research suggests</a> the opposite and information can actually delay sexual activity. Recent <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2023.2169825">research</a> also shows Australian parents want schools to tackle sex and relationships in more detail and from an early age. </p>
<p>Ultimately, schools need to be able to listen to the concerns of teens to meet their real needs around sex education in ways that are healthy, safe and relevant.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1643031705807368193"}"></div></p>
<p><em>*names have been changed</em></p>
<hr>
<p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call <a href="https://kidshelpline.com.au">Kids Helpline</a> on 1800 55 1800 or <a href="https://www.1800respect.org.au">1800RESPECT</a> on 1800 737 732. In an emergency call 000</em>.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/206001/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Giselle Natassia Woodley is part of the Australian Research Council's Discovery Project funding scheme (project DP190102435). The views expressed here are those of the author and not necessarily the Australian government or the ARC. Giselle is also part of a not-for-profit Relationships and Sexuality education advocacy group, Bloom-Ed, whose views are not expressed here.</span></em></p>In new interview research, young people say sex education most often occurs without discussing actual sex.Giselle Natassia Woodley, Researcher and Phd Candidate, Edith Cowan UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2010592023-04-28T12:26:13Z2023-04-28T12:26:13ZWhy we need to talk about porn when we talk about Andrew Tate<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/522772/original/file-20230425-2136-ld8wy5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">AB WBT</span> </figcaption></figure><p>For decades, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/40239168">many feminists</a> have highlighted the <a href="https://www.culturereframed.org/the-porn-crisis/">harms</a> of pornography. They have argued that pornography incarnates male supremacy, and it not only constitutes male violence against women but it also constitutes <a href="https://www.feministes-radicales.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Andrea-DWORKIN-Pornography-Men-Possessing-Women-1981.pdf">the main conduit</a> for such violence.</p>
<p>Experts have long shown the <a href="https://www.appg-cse.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Inquiry-on-pornography.pdf">links</a> between pornography, misogyny and sexual violence against women. Research <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/217360/1/__qut.edu.au_Documents_StaffHome_StaffGroupR%24_rogersjm_Desktop_Flood%2C%2BThe%2Bharms%2Bof%2Bpornography%2Bexposure%2B09.pdf">has found</a> that exposure to both violent pornography and non-violent pornography – depicting consensual sexual activity between adults – fosters attitudes supportive of sexual aggression and rape. And that in <a href="https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1073&context=dignity">normalising</a> sexual violence, pornography also fuels it. </p>
<p>Recently, Lucy Emmerson, the director of the Sex Education Forum has <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/mar/02/impact-porn-not-taught-schools-england-survey?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other">warned</a> that “seeing violent sexual acts in pornography is having a knock-on effect on [young people’s] behaviour”. Research has found <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/217360/1/__qut.edu.au_Documents_StaffHome_StaffGroupR%24_rogersjm_Desktop_Flood%2C%2BThe%2Bharms%2Bof%2Bpornography%2Bexposure%2B09.pdf">a correlation</a> among underage boys between frequent consumption of porn and the idea that forcing someone to have sex is ok. </p>
<p>Despite this, porn is only sporadically discussed in connection with violence against women, online and offline. A case in point is <a href="https://theconversation.com/andrew-tate-research-has-long-shown-how-feminist-progress-is-always-followed-by-a-misogynistic-backlash-197433?notice=Article+has+been+updated.">Andrew Tate</a>. </p>
<p>Tate was arrested in December 2022 on suspicion of human trafficking and rape and subsequently moved to house arrest in March 2023. The house arrest <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-65351270">has been extended</a> as public prosecutors reportedly continue to investigate him and his brother, Tristan, for crimes including sexually exploiting women and, in the case of Tristan Tate, <a href="https://uk.sports.yahoo.com/news/romanian-prosecutors-add-charge-against-105022461.html">inciting others</a> to violence. </p>
<p>This has seen the influencer receive an incredible amount of <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001jg1t/the-dangerous-rise-of-andrew-tate">media coverage</a>. This has revolved, primarily, around his “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/aug/06/andrew-tate-violent-misogynistic-world-of-tiktok-new-star">deviant</a>” personality, while <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64125045">ignoring</a> the cultural context he operates in: a patriarchal society in which <a href="https://files.libcom.org/files/Theorizing%20Patriarchy%20-%20Sylvia%20Walby.pdf">misogynistic violence</a> is routinely encouraged by mainstream pornography. While Tate arguably promotes the same violence, the two are rarely connected in popular discourse.</p>
<p>Tate’s case it not unique. My research <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/9783031093524">shows</a> how representations of perpetrators of sexual violence, from <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-030-28243-1?source=shoppingads&amp;locale=en-gb&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA0oagBhDHARIsAI-Bbgf5WKRSOcRQe6eFiisBta-5clzT-jJaT0vjHXs31BskQ_sKl3nPVB0aAv2zEALw_wcB">Harvey Weinstein to Jimmy Saville</a>, routinely focus on individual “deviancy”. They fail to make the connection between misogyny and wider social problems, like pornography. The “villain” is typically identified and singled out as an abnormal man. The details of his abuse are discussed ad nauseam in public discourse and every attempt is made to purge society of his presence and move on.</p>
<p>This is a problem. In ignoring the broader socio-cultural factors at play, this narrative fails to connect what appear to be the <a href="https://www.politybooks.com/search?s=surviving%20sexual%20violence">most severe</a> instances of misogyny with more “<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1077801221996453">mundane</a>” forms, which have been normalised or appear less harmful. As a result, these are allowed to continue undisturbed.</p>
<h2>The mundane misogyny of social media</h2>
<p>It is <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1447345">no secret</a> that social media platforms are littered with “mundane” misogyny, from rape apologists to neo-sexist videos which promote the idea that women have achieved equality with men and that men are the “real” victims now.</p>
<p>Men’s podcasts such as <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@freshandfit_clips?lang=en">Fresh and Fit</a>, <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@moa.podcast">Men of Action</a> (MOA), <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@theviralwaypodcast">The Viral Way</a>, for example, are unfiltered repositories of sexism and misogyny. Yet, they are nowhere to be found in mainstream discussions on the topic. The recent, sustained focus on the “extreme” misogyny of Tate has effectively shielded other providers of “mundane” misogyny from media scrutiny.</p>
<p>This kind of tunnel-vision narrative also leaves out of the picture the ordinary misogyny of normalised, yet no less harmful, social practices like pornography. Pornographic websites like PornHub, RedTube, and YouPorn, which have been shown to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1077801210382866?casa_token=7Jj-2itHNkQAAAAA:UOvzyEIm5IFBZfD9d6fZns9xd3cjlbMEKqMk8T5AQj1E87Rbrnw5GM8Vr8ancmoe8sMVq78m-XQ">promote violent and misogynistic content</a>, are accessible to anyone, everywhere. Until March 2023, these online platforms were all owned by the same company, <a href="https://www.reuters.com/markets/deals/pornhub-owner-mindgeek-sold-canadas-ethical-capital-2023-03-16/">MindGeek</a>, and, in 2020, together they reportedly had approximately <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/06/20/the-fight-to-hold-pornhub-accountable">4.5 billion monthly visits</a> – that’s almost double that of Google and Facebook combined.</p>
<p>In the UK, the most prolific users of these porn sites are <a href="https://www.ofcom.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0013/220414/online-nation-2021-report.pdf">young adults aged 18-24</a>. News reports have highlighted that children <a href="https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-as-seven-new-report-finds">as young as seven</a> have been exposed to their content.</p>
<p>Compared to even a generation ago, mobile technology has made pornography widely available and easily accessible. This has caused a major <a href="http://www.beacon.org/Pornland-P891.aspx">cultural shift</a> whose consequences have not been fully explored or understood yet. Today anyone can watch violent porn with the same ease they can watch cat videos and we don’t fully know what this is doing to us.</p>
<p>If we look at the language of pornography, it is not fundamentally different from the language of Tate. Think, for example, of the similarities between Tate’s obsession with <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/aug/06/andrew-tate-violent-misogynistic-world-of-tiktok-new-star">grabbing women by the neck</a> and the <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32661813/">popularity</a> of strangulation in online pornography.</p>
<p>Yet, while every second, online pornography broadcasts the same ideas expressed by Tate to millions of people, including children and teenagers, it does not generate the same level of public outrage. On the contrary, pornography is often defended as a <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a40616209/sex-education-porn/">sex positive practice</a> and accepted as a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/08/porn-not-real-sex-positive-educators-influencers-breaking-taboos">work of fiction</a>. </p>
<p>Its role in the spread of misogyny is notably absent from most mainstream discussions of violence against women, including those about Tate. Society is wondering <a href="https://www.standard.co.uk/insider/talk-children-andrew-tate-misogyny-online-safety-b1053749.html">how to talk to children about Tate</a>, yet pornography is still largely absent from <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/mar/02/impact-porn-not-taught-schools-england-survey?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other">sex education</a>.</p>
<h2>It’s about the money</h2>
<p>The question then is why Tate has been branded an <a href="https://hopenothate.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Andrew-Tate-Briefing-Final.pdf">extreme misogynist</a> but pornography is defended as a “sex-positive” practice. Why do we find it abhorrent for Tate to talk about violence against women, but believe that watching it is fine? </p>
<p>The answer lies largely in two factors: money and the patriarchy. </p>
<p>On the one hand, tunnel-vision narratives function as a patriarchal tool that distracts the attention from broader social factors like pornography and protects “ordinary” men. Hashtags such as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-15213-0_18">#himtoo or #notallmen</a> speak precisely to this idea that violence against women is only perpetrated by a tiny minority of men. Most other men are simply being unfairly accused.</p>
<p>On the other hand, the focus on specific individuals distracts the attention from those who profit from pornography. Pornography is an <a href="https://qz.com/1309527/porn-could-have-a-bigger-economic-influence-on-the-us-than-netflix">extremely lucrative business</a>. The silence that surrounds it allows it to continue undisturbed. It makes it easier for individuals and companies to escape accountability and avoid public scrutiny. Many of us know, by now, what Andrew Tate looks like. Comparatively few, if any, will know exactly who owns Pornhub.</p>
<p>Pornography constitutes the socio-cultural context within which men like Tate operate. While it is important that we educate young people about Tate, it is also crucial to place his success within the patriarchal context in which his actions and words are normalised.</p>
<p>Any analysis of Tate, or whoever came before him or will come after him, that does not consider the broader pornification of society will never be complete. To join the dots between “mundane” and “extreme” misogyny and move away from the “tunnel-vision”, we need to talk about porn.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/201059/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Alessia Tranchese does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>In focussing on individual “deviancy”, we fail to make the connection between misogyny and wider social problems, like pornography.Alessia Tranchese, Senior Lecturer in Communication and Applied Linguistics, University of PortsmouthLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2024412023-04-03T20:10:27Z2023-04-03T20:10:27ZAustralian parents want schools to teach more sex education topics and teach them from an earlier age<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/518096/original/file-20230329-20-3koz90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=22%2C11%2C7304%2C4825&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Decades <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2020.07.036">of research</a> have shown when relationships and sexuality education is delivered well, it can improve the sexual, social, and emotional health of young people. It can also lead to improved academic outcomes.</p>
<p>But research also <a href="https://www.churchilltrust.com.au/fellow/katrina-marson-act-2018/">shows</a> schools worry parents and families will revolt if they provide too much detail in their sex education programs. </p>
<p>So it is important schools know what Australian parents actually think and want when it comes to relationships and sexuality education. </p>
<p>Our <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2023.2169825">recent study</a> surveyed Australian parents about what schools should teach and when they should teach it. </p>
<h2>The history of sex education in Australia</h2>
<p>Sex education in Australian schools has a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14681810500038889">long and complex history</a>. Propelled by the HIV and AIDS pandemic of the early 1980s, programs often focused on the prevention of sexually transmissible infections, and led to many of us suffering through awkward lessons, such as how to put condoms on bananas. </p>
<p>Lessons about our changing bodies, menstruation and pregnancy prevention were also common. For many, perhaps the only time we saw our school nurse was that one time they came into the classroom to put a tampon in a glass of water – much to the horror of anyone who might need to use one.</p>
<p>More recently, a broader variety of topics has been covered by schools, to reflect the modern issues faced by young people. This includes a focus on <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/news/the-feed/article/consent-education-will-be-mandatory-across-australian-schools-from-next-year/796phsvlm">consent</a>. Age-appropriate <a href="https://theconversation.com/mandatory-consent-education-is-a-huge-win-for-australia-but-consent-is-just-one-small-part-of-navigating-relationships-177456">consent education</a> is mandatory as of 2023, from the first year of schooling to year 10.</p>
<p>However, the actual delivery of relationships and sexuality education in Australian schools is still <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-01-27/jacqueline-hendriks-sexology-australias-sex-education-curriculum/13095652">highly varied</a>. And students often tell us that the content they are given is <a href="https://opal.latrobe.edu.au/ndownloader/files/38618210">not relevant</a>. This is in stark contrast to the United Kingdom, where relationships and sex education <a href="https://theconversation.com/relationships-and-sex-education-is-now-mandatory-in-english-schools-australia-should-do-the-same-144348">became mandatory</a> in 2020.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A condom in a packet, next to a banana." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517850/original/file-20230328-15-s52wxn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Sexuality education has moved on from the days when it was just a condom demonstration with a banana.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Nataliya Vaitkevich/Pexels</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>What should good quality sexuality education include?</h2>
<p>According to <a href="https://iite.unesco.org/publications/international-technical-guidance-on-sexuality-education/">international research</a>, schools should teach a broad range of sexuality-related topics from the earliest years. Previous approaches, that relied heavily on fear or risk should be avoided. Instead, there should be an emphasis on wellbeing. </p>
<p>To give children and young people the information they need to be safe and healthy, a good quality relationship and sexuality education should include: </p>
<ul>
<li><p>naming all body parts without shame</p></li>
<li><p>learning about the social, emotional and physical changes that come with puberty</p></li>
<li><p>developing a healthy body image (this includes learning that our genitals all look different – and that’s okay)</p></li>
<li><p>skills for decision-making about around sex and relationships, how to communicate effectively with friends or partners</p></li>
<li><p>how to safely navigate online spaces, including an understanding of the impact pornography can have on how we see sex</p></li>
<li><p>gender stereotypes and how they are problematic for everyone</p></li>
<li><p>skills to maintain healthy relationships and how to engage in sexual practices as safely as possible </p></li>
<li><p>affirmation of LGBTIQA+ diversity and</p></li>
<li><p>reliable places where you can seek support or get more information.</p></li>
</ul>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/netflixs-sex-education-is-doing-sex-education-better-than-most-schools-170776">Netflix's Sex Education is doing sex education better than most schools</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Our research</h2>
<p>Our <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2023.2169825">new research project</a> set out to establish exactly what Australian parents think about school relationships and sexuality education via an online survey. </p>
<p>More than 2,400 Australian parents were surveyed in late 2021. They represented all states and territories, and their children were enrolled in both primary and secondary schools. </p>
<p>All school sectors – government, independent and Catholic – were represented.</p>
<h2>What should students be taught?</h2>
<p>Overall, 90% of parents in the survey either agreed or strongly agreed schools should deliver relationships and sexuality education. </p>
<p>Parents also reviewed a list of 40 sex education topics, from correctly naming body parts, to sexting and masturbation. They were then asked if such a lesson was appropriate for the school classroom. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="A young couple hug." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=828&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=828&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=828&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1041&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1041&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517854/original/file-20230328-25-82zjj0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1041&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Surveyed parents overwhelmingly wanted schools to teach relationships and sexuality.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Savannah Dematteo/Pexels</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Across all 40 topics, there was emphatic support for schools to address each of these issues. In most cases the level of support was more than 95%. Some of the most supported topics were peer pressure, communication skills and changes associated with puberty. </p>
<p>Support was lowest for topics such as pleasure, masturbation, pornography, gender stereotypes, gender identity and sexual orientation. However, the level of support for these topics still ranged from 83% to 92%. This confirms other <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-out-of-5-parents-support-teaching-gender-and-sexuality-diversity-in-australian-schools-176787">recent research</a>, which found Australian parents are highly supportive of schools teaching about diversity of gender and sexuality. </p>
<h2>When should students be taught?</h2>
<p>Parents in our survey were also asked to indicate at what grade level each topic should first be introduced. </p>
<p>Most parents thought a small number of topics could easily begin in primary school, with remaining topics being held over until secondary school. The primary school topics included bodily autonomy and personal boundaries, personal safety (or child abuse prevention) and correct names for body parts, including genitals and changes associated with puberty. </p>
<p>Interestingly, their preference was for more sensitive lessons, such as reasons to engage/not engage in sex, safer sex practices, sexting, contraception, and pornography to start in years 7 and 8. This is an important finding, as we know many schools hold off on delivering a lot of their sexuality education until years 9 and 10, as guided by the <a href="https://v9.australiancurriculum.edu.au/">Australian curriculum</a>.</p>
<p>Whilst most parents rated the current quality of relationships and sexuality education at their child’s school to be somewhere between good and very good (58%), 21% felt it hadn’t been taught at all by their school, and 12% were unsure what their school actually delivered. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/relationships-and-sex-education-is-now-mandatory-in-english-schools-australia-should-do-the-same-144348">Relationships and sex education is now mandatory in English schools – Australia should do the same</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>What happens now?</h2>
<p>Our study clearly demonstrates the vast majority of Australian parents surveyed want schools to delivery a truly comprehensive relationships and sexuality program. Yes, there is public support for <a href="https://theconversation.com/mandatory-consent-education-is-a-huge-win-for-australia-but-consent-is-just-one-small-part-of-navigating-relationships-177456">consent</a> to be covered – as it should be. But parents also want many issues, beyond consent, to be taught at school. </p>
<p>Despite a vocal minority who might criticise particular lessons, schools should feel confident most families have their back. In many instances, they actually want these topics to be introduced in earlier grade levels.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two teenagers sit close together, reading and drinking coffee." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/518078/original/file-20230329-22-6hur5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Parents want schools to teach a wide variety of topics about relationships and sexuality.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Schools may benefit from consulting with their parent bodies, and developing a specific <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/relationships-education-relationships-and-sex-education-rse-and-health-education/introduction-to-requirements#developing-a-policy">school policy</a> about relationships and sexuality education. Any policy should be heavily grounded in evidence, but it will also benefit from the input of staff, students and parents. </p>
<p>Our curriculum writers should also feel confident to include terms like “sex”, “contraception”, “pornography”, “gender diversity”, and “sexual orientation” in their guidance to educators. For too long there has been a reticence to provide clear directions to schools about exactly what to topics teach. This lack of clarity, along with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2020.1792874">inadequate teacher training</a>, has had a big impact on our ability to implement relationships and sexuality education across the country in an effective and uniform manner. </p>
<p>Young people have a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/1323238X.2021.1956739">right</a> to be educated about their bodies. And Australian parents want schools to play their part in doing this.</p>
<hr>
<p><em><a href="https://www.healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/S_T/Talk-soon-Talk-often">Talk Soon. Talk Often</a> is a resource to help families have discussions about relationships and sex with their children. <a href="https://gdhr.wa.gov.au/web/yarning-quiet-ways">Yarning Quiet Ways</a> is a similar resource for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families.</em></p>
<p><em>The author wishes to acknowledge her co-researchers: Katrina Marson, Jennifer Walsh, Tasha Lawton, Hanna Saltis and Sharyn Burns.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202441/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jacqueline Hendriks (she/her/they) is based at Curtin University, is Project Lead of the Curtin University RSE Project and is part of the Management Team for SiREN. She receives funding from the WA Department of Health (Sexual Health and Blood-borne Virus Program) and various other Australian government and non-government organisations. They are a founding member of Bloom-ED, a collective action group to promote improved relationships and sexuality education throughout Australia, and is a Board Director of the Australian Association for Adolescent Health.</span></em></p>Research shows schools worry parents will revolt if there is too much detail in sex education classes. A new survey asks what Australian parents actually think and want.Jacqueline Hendriks, Research Fellow and Lecturer, Curtin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2021822023-03-29T15:44:45Z2023-03-29T15:44:45ZSex education review: controversial proposals risk failing young people<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517917/original/file-20230328-27-nki5ca.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C176%2C5112%2C3226&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/sideview-students-sitting-row-selective-focus-1878871093">Juice Verve/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/mar/08/sex-education-review-is-politically-motivated-say-teaching-unions">brought forward</a> a planned review into sex education in English schools. </p>
<p>This is in response to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/mar/08/sex-education-review-is-politically-motivated-say-teaching-unions">concerns raised</a> by Conservative MP Miriam Cates over sex education that is “age-inappropriate, extreme, sexualising and inaccurate” being taught in schools. Nearly 50 Conservative MPs <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2023/03/07/tory-revolt-graphic-sexual-content-taught-children-school/">signed a letter</a> coordinated by Cates which called for a independent inquiry into the supposed delivery of inappropriate sex education content to young children. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.newsocialcovenant.co.uk/RSE%20BRIEFING%20FINAL%201631%20(IS)_small.pdf">A report</a> on sex education in schools, commissioned by Cates, published in March 2023 and presented to Sunak, criticises numerous elements of current sex education teaching. The report was carried out by the <a href="https://www.newsocialcovenant.co.uk/about/">New Social Covenant Unit</a>, an organisation set up by Cates and another MP, Danny Kruger. </p>
<p>If followed, the recommendations in the report have the potential to roll back decades of significant progress in supporting children and young people and have adverse affects on their health and wellbeing. </p>
<p>Sex education is vitally important. It helps young people navigate situations which may be full of anxiety and uncertainty. It helps them recognise unwanted or inappropriate behaviour. Research has found that a lack of sex education <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2310970/">is a risk factor</a> for sexual abuse.</p>
<h2>‘Age appropriate’</h2>
<p>The report calls for “age appropriate” sex education, stating that “in some cases the only ‘age appropriate’ approach might be to not introduce the subject at all”. It holds that there should be clear parameters on what should be taught. However, <a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1090195/Relationships_Education_RSE_and_Health_Education.pdf">government guidance</a> already provides this, outlining topics and at what age ranges they should be taught.</p>
<p>There is also a danger in being too prescriptive. Different children and young people have different needs from their sex education lessons. For instance, if violent porn is being shared among a class of young people teachers have to act fast to help them deal with what they have seen, with consideration to consent and respect. </p>
<p>Fundamentally, sex education has to be realistic. It is highly likely that young people will see pornographic content and <a href="https://blog.bham.ac.uk/socialsciencesbirmingham/2022/03/18/cyberflashing/">receive unwanted images</a> at some point before they get to 18. This has to be addressed through safe sex education lessons. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1633539980780883968"}"></div></p>
<p>Teaching children about relationships and sex often throws up moral issues. Sexual desire can be seen as an affront on morality, making sex something that has to be controlled and monitored. This, coupled with current perceptions of children, makes discussion of sex in schools difficult. This moral panic also makes sex education a valuable political pawn. </p>
<p>Discussing sex with children and young people is often, incorrectly, framed as encouraging sexual behaviour. But a plethora of <a href="https://www.un.org/esa/socdev/documents/youth/fact-sheets/youth-sexuality-education.pdf">research</a> <a href="https://unesdoc.unesco.org/ark:/48223/pf0000260770">demonstrates</a> that the more information young people have about sex the more likely they are to delay it. </p>
<p>The report commissioned by Cates questions a “sex positive” approach to sex education that seeks to reduce shame. It states that “‘sex positivity’ does not seem to tolerate other ethical systems of thought that favour restrictions, boundaries, see a purpose in shame, or which have moral codes that might exclude certain practices or oppose ‘sex positivism’ itself”.</p>
<p>But shame is incredibly damaging. Shame silences young people. It means that they <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/sophie_king_hill_stop_talking_about_the_weather_and_start_talking_about_sex">do not seek information</a> and support when they need it, putting themselves at risk. What’s more, linking sex to morality can increase feelings of shame. </p>
<h2>LGBTQ+ students</h2>
<p>The report also presents a worrying approach to sex education for LGBTQ+ and gender diverse children and young people. It states that LGBTQ+ matters take a “disproportionately dominant place in the curriculum”. But <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/10598405211043394">research suggests</a> that sex education in the UK is predominantly delivered from a standpoint focused on heterosexual sex and relationships. </p>
<p>This means that LGBTQ+ children and young people lack relevant and affirming sex education. This lack has been linked to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/pits.22881">higher rates of STIs, HIV and even teen pregnancy</a> among LGBTQ+ young people. </p>
<p>The report also questions teaching on issues relating to gender identity. It states that “…of particular concern is that a political and ideological bias in RSE teaching is promoting trans identification to school pupils”. </p>
<p>Research shows that transgender and gender diverse children <a href="https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjep.12540?af=R">face discrimination</a> at school. But there is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-021-01245-9">evidence</a> that being in environments that are positive about gender and personal identity lead to improved health and wellbeing outcomes among this group.</p>
<p>Calls in the report for an emphasis on teaching the biological mechanics of sex – such as procreation and contraception – almost exclusively focuses upon sexual relations of cisgender and heterosexual young people. But decades of <a href="https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(20)30456-0/fulltext">evidence</a> shows that comprehensive and inclusive sex education results in positive mental health outcomes and safer school climates for all young people. </p>
<p>Also, a greater proportion of LGBTQ+ inclusive sex education leads to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2018.11.012">lower rates of poor mental health</a> and reduced school-based victimisation for LGBTQ+ students.</p>
<h2>We need to listen to young people</h2>
<p>A crucial aspect missing from the report is the input of children and young people themselves. Young people <a href="https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/Documents/college-social-sciences/social-policy/publications/a-students-guide-to-what-you-dont-know.pdf">want to engage</a> in designing sex education that benefits them. They are often being taught what they already know. </p>
<p>Quite simply, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/car.2664">we do not know</a> what <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13552600.2022.2052770">normal sexual behaviour</a> is in children and young people and we need them <a href="https://blog.bham.ac.uk/socialsciencesbirmingham/2022/01/24/assessing-sexual-behaviour-in-children-and-young-people/">to guide us</a> in what they need and when. Good sex education should focus on their needs, rather than it being imposed upon them. It should be designed with young people and underpinned by research.</p>
<p>We must provide young people with sex education that keeps them safe. The recommendations in the report commissioned by Cates risk undoing over 20 years of valuable progress in helping young people make informed decisions about their own sexuality and relationships without shame.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202182/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sophie King-Hill receives funding from the ESRC. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Abby Gilsenan has received funding from the ESRC.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Willem Stander has received funding from the ESRC.</span></em></p>Sex education is vitally important.Sophie King-Hill, Senior Fellow at the Health Services Management Centre, University of BirminghamAbby Gilsenan, PhD Candidate in the School of Social Policy, University of BirminghamWillem Stander, Research Fellow in the Department of Social Work and Social Care, University of BirminghamLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2021772023-03-28T16:38:12Z2023-03-28T16:38:12ZFive important things you should have learned in sex ed – but probably didn’t<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517650/original/file-20230327-20-w4as1y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=60%2C0%2C6720%2C4466&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">It's important to talk about sex with your partner.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/warm-toned-portrait-modern-young-couple-1686595822">SeventyFour/ Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>If you grew up in the 90s and 00s, you may feel that sex education didn’t teach you much of <a href="https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/6/9/e011329.full">practical value</a>. Most sex education during this time followed a “prevention” approach, focusing on avoiding pregnancy and STIs, with most information largely targeted at heterosexual people.</p>
<p>While some schools are now making their sex education more <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1054139X20304560">“sex positive” and inclusive</a>, that doesn’t change the fact that many in their 20s and 30s feel they’ve missed out on vital education that could have helped them better navigate the complex world of relationships and sexuality as adults. </p>
<p>But it’s never too late to learn. Here are five important lessons that sex ed should have taught you. </p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="Quarter life, a series by The Conversation" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p><em><strong><a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/topics/quarter-life-117947?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">This article is part of Quarter Life</a></strong>, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties. From the challenges of beginning a career and taking care of our mental health, to the excitement of starting a family, adopting a pet or just making friends as an adult. The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.</em></p>
<p><em>You may be interested in:</em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/love-languages-might-help-you-understand-your-partner-but-its-not-exactly-science-199040?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">‘Love languages’ might help you understand your partner – but it’s not exactly science</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/at-home-fertility-tests-heres-what-they-can-actually-tell-you-198639?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">At-home fertility tests: here’s what they can actually tell you</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/mens-fertility-also-declines-with-age-heres-what-to-know-if-youre-planning-to-wait-to-have-kids-187498?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">Men’s fertility also declines with age — here’s what to know if you’re planning to wait to have kids</a></em></p>
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<h2>1. ‘Normal’ sex drive is a myth</h2>
<p>Sex education never taught us that sex drive is highly variable and has <a href="https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/sex/your-sex-drive-normal-probably">no universal normal</a>. While some may want sex several times a week, others may find once a month or less sufficient.</p>
<p>Regardless of how often you want or have sex, more important is understanding sex drive is <a href="https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive/loss-of-libido">affected by many factors</a>, and may change throughout your lifetime. Many factors, such as hormone fluctuations, stress, certain medications (including <a href="https://www.blueheart.io/post/antidepressants-and-sex-drive">antidepressants</a> and <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/9/9/2213/6886777">hormonal contraceptives</a>), as well <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609518301243">lifestyle factors</a> (such as smoking, drinking, exercise and diet) can all affect libido. </p>
<p>The most important thing is aspiring to understand your own <a href="https://theconversation.com/five-things-research-can-teach-us-about-having-better-sex-according-to-a-sex-therapist-199360">sexual needs and desires</a> and communicating these to your partner. This is important for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/loving-bravely/202001/great-sex-begins-sexual-self-awareness">personal wellbeing and healthy relationships</a>. </p>
<p>Sex drive should only be considered problematic if you’re unhappy with it. If you’re concerned with it in any way, it’s worth <a href="https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/sexual-and-reproductive/loss-of-libido">checking with your GP</a>.</p>
<h2>2. Talking about sex is important</h2>
<p>Many of us remember how sex ed tended to focus on discussing the harms that can come from sex. As such, some of us may now see the subject as taboo, and may shy away from talking about sex with our partner.</p>
<p>But research shows that sexual communication is associated with <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2022-17919-001">higher relationship and sexual satisfaction</a>. When we openly communicate about sex, we’re revealing otherwise private aspects of ourselves (such as our desires or fantasies) to our partner. Doing so may, in turn, boost sexual satisfaction and feelings of intimacy, which may <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407510386833">improve relationship satisfaction</a> overall.</p>
<p>Thankfully, there’s ample advice online to help you learn how to <a href="https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/talking-about-sex/">start this conversation</a> and know what sort of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/20/start-low-and-go-slow-how-to-talk-to-your-partner-about-sex">questions to ask your partner</a>. Some <a href="https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/justin-j-lehmiller/tell-me-what-you-want/9781472142238">relationship psychologists suggest</a> starting these conversations as early as possible in relationships, to clarify needs and help ensure sexual compatibility. </p>
<p>They also suggest you continue sharing sexual fantasies as trust in the relationship grows, regularly asking your partner what they enjoy and sharing what you prefer as well. </p>
<h2>3. Sexuality can be fluid</h2>
<p>Most sex education in the 90s and 00s was largely skewed towards people who were <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/10598405211043394">heterosexual and cisgendered</a>. This left those who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, non-binary or any other sexual or gender identity with little or no relevant information on how to negotiate sex and relationships.</p>
<p>This also means many people weren’t taught that sexuality can be <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11930-016-0092-z#Sec4">multifaceted and fluid</a>. Your sexuality is influenced by a combination of many biological, psychological and social factors, and may shift throughout your lifetime. So it’s perfectly normal for your sexual desire and who you’re attracted to change. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two women hold hands while walking through a city." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517652/original/file-20230327-24-p63yy9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">It’s normal for sexuality to shift throughout your lifetime.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/girls-best-friends-holding-hands-walking-750054541">William Perugini/ Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Research indicates that sexual fluidity may be <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X22002184?casa_token=6qwVGFCUAssAAAAA:ibhzUWOFLyAUdf6Hu__q5NASe1tzzWtwE9bjYHShpZRCtAybU1PX8WnwJGTNdkQQZWQLhEIgFlk">more common</a> among cisgender women and sexual minorities. It’s difficult to discern a clear reason for this, but one possibility is that men who identify as heterosexual may be less likely to act on same-sex attractions, perhaps for fear of negative reactions from those in their social circle. </p>
<p>There’s also evidence that same-sex attraction and sexual fluidity are influenced, in part, by <a href="https://www.science.org/doi/abs/10.1126/science.aat7693">genetics</a>, showing us just how natural diversity in human sexuality is. </p>
<p>Understanding that sexuality can be fluid may help people to let go of potentially harmful misconceptions about themselves and others, and feel more open to express themselves and explore their sexual identity.</p>
<h2>4. Sexually transmitted infections are very common</h2>
<p>STIs are common, with one person being diagnosed <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/news/an-sti-is-diagnosed-in-a-young-person-every-4-minutes-in-england">every four minutes</a> in the UK.</p>
<p>But most of us remember our sex ed classes focusing on prevention, resulting in <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/sh/sh10070">stigmatised perceptions</a> of STIs. This stigma can be harmful, and can impact a person’s <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14681990500058341">mental and physical health</a>, as well as their <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/13/7179">willingness to disclose</a> their STI status to partners.</p>
<p>This prevention approach also meant we learned very little about how to recognise symptoms and treat STIs and fuelled the rise of myths surrounding STIs. </p>
<p>For example, one myth is that people with genital herpes can never have sex again without infecting their partner. Not only is this not true but also, as with all STIs, the earlier you’re <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sexually-transmitted-infections-stis/#:%7E:text=You%2520can%2520see%2520a%2520GP,turn%2520up%2520without%2520an%2520appointment.">diagnosed and treated</a>, the easier it will be to avoid future complications such as infertility.</p>
<h2>5. Navigating pregnancy and your fertility</h2>
<p>Planning for pregnancy and parenthood is important for <a href="https://www.qub.ac.uk/sites/involve-fp/results/">both women and men</a>. But with sex ed’s focus so strongly placed on avoiding pregnancy, this means we missed out on important education relating to pregnancy and fertility. This means many women may not be <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/trying-for-a-baby/planning-your-pregnancy/">properly educated</a> about the many bodily changes that occur during pregnancy and afterwards. </p>
<p>Sex ed also failed to teach us that around 10%-15% of all pregnancies <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673621006826">end in miscarriage</a>. This can be a <a href="https://bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12884-022-04585-3">traumatic event</a>, even in cases of early pregnancy loss. But knowing how common it is and having appropriate support could reassure many women that it isn’t their fault.</p>
<p>Many of us also won’t have learned about other aspects of fertility, such as how <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0002937895904891">waiting</a> to have children may affect your chances of getting pregnant. Nor will you have been taught about how <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/13/3/209/2457838">lifestyle factors</a> such as weight, diet, and exercise can also affect your chances of becoming pregnant. We also weren’t taught about how common problems with <a href="https://theconversation.com/mens-fertility-also-declines-with-age-heres-what-to-know-if-youre-planning-to-wait-to-have-kids-187498">men’s fertility</a> are, and how it can also decline with age.</p>
<p>Even if you did miss out on key sex ed in your earlier years, it’s never too late to begin exploring what healthy relationships and sexuality mean to you.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202177/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Áine Aventin does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Many people in their 20s and 30s now feel their sex education was lacking when it came to learning things of practical value.Áine Aventin, Lecturer, School of Nursing and Midwifery, Queen's University BelfastLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1985762023-03-06T13:35:30Z2023-03-06T13:35:30ZWhat parents and educators need to know about teens’ pornography and sexting experiences at school<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/512713/original/file-20230228-2960-yiwjos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=12%2C64%2C8634%2C5691&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Pornography presents persistent risks for adolescents.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/teenager-boy-is-using-smartphone-at-home-in-bed-royalty-free-image/1353071585?phrase=teens%20iphones%20school&adppopup=true">EMS-FORSTER-PRODUCTIONS via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Three out of four teenagers have seen online pornography – often before they even became a teenager. That’s according to a new report from Common Sense Media that examines the <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/research/teens-and-pornography">role pornography plays</a> in the lives of today’s youth.</p>
<p>Some teens do more than just watch pornography. By way of “sexting,” teenagers are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2021.10.026">creating and sending their own images and videos</a> of themselves in the nude.</p>
<p>For the most part, it’s not the job of school staff to worry about what kids are looking at on the internet or sending over their phones. However, as an expert on human development – and as <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=TZgnU_QAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&sortby=pubdate">one who studies adolescent sexuality</a> – I believe parents and educators should be prepared to address potential issues that might arise as a result of students’ engagement with pornography and sexting. This sort of preparedness is especially pertinent today because smartphones enable kids to look at porn and to sext during school hours.</p>
<p>Here are five things that parents and educators should know as pornography use and sexting become more commonplace among students:</p>
<h2>1. Pornography is not what it used to be</h2>
<p>Fifty-two percent of teens have <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/research/teens-and-pornography">seen violent pornography</a>. This includes acts such as choking, slapping, gagging, hitting and crying. This is because the internet changed the way pornography is distributed. There used to be <a href="https://www.mtsu.edu/first-amendment/article/1004/obscenity-and-pornography">more regulations</a> on violent content and age verification to adhere to pay-per-view standards in hotel rooms and DVD sales. Now, self-produced and distributed content reigns on “tube-site” platforms that function similarly to YouTube.</p>
<p>Tube sites like PornHub allow for users to freely view and upload their own content. At its inception, many users assumed it was primarily “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/23268743.2016.1184477">amateur content</a>” or homemade and consensual content. However, one <a href="https://academic.oup.com/bjc/article/61/5/1243/6208896">study</a> showed that 1 in 8 titles of videos on the website described sexual violence. <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-55333403">An investigation</a> by the BBC and New York Times was prompted by victims who learned that video footage of their sexual assaults was being freely viewed on the website. The investigation uncovered millions of videos of suspected abuse and coercion, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/19/pornhub-abuse-videos-new-york-times-mastercard-visa">causing credit card companies to cut ties</a>. </p>
<p>OnlyFans, another tube-site platform composed of user-uploaded content, also facilitates camming, or live sexual interaction, with content creators for a fee. Although there does not appear to be peer-reviewed research on adolescents’ use of OnlyFans, there are <a href="https://nypost.com/2021/05/27/children-are-selling-explicit-content-on-onlyfans-report/">some reports</a> that minors are bypassing age verification and selling their own sexually explicit images on the platform.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Five teenagers sit on the floor of a high school hallway with their backs to the wall as they look at their cell phones." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=421&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=421&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=421&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=529&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=529&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512719/original/file-20230228-18-nu9abs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=529&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Teens can access cellphones during the school day.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/students-killing-time-in-corridor-between-classes-royalty-free-image/1411412809?phrase=teens%20iphones%20school&adppopup=true">Rafa Fernandez Torres via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>2. Pornography is a source of sex education for teens</h2>
<p>Without widespread <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2020.07.036">comprehensive sex education in the U.S.</a>, young adults have identified pornography as a primary <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01877-7">source of sex education</a>. However, the pornography that teens have the easiest access to – tube-site pornography – <a href="https://academic.oup.com/bjc/article/61/5/1243/6208896">tends to portray</a> more sexual aggression, degradation of women and people of color and lack of sexual consent.</p>
<p>For example, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10410236.2021.1991641">choking or strangulation during sex has been increasing in porn</a>. This is concerning to violence researchers, neurologists and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2021.1985025">mental health professionals</a> because recent reports indicate that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02347-y">1 in 3 women were choked</a> during their last sexual experience. Although the majority of women reported feelings of euphoria, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02347-y">strangulation during sex</a> carries the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1089/neu.2022.0146">same risk for brain damage due</a> to loss of oxygen as being strangled in other contexts.</p>
<p>What’s also concerning is that male adolescents exposed to violent pornography are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10810730.2021.1887980">more likely</a> to be higher in sexual aggression and are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-1435-4">two to three times more likely</a> to have pressured a partner to engage in sexual activity the partner did not want to engage in than male adolescents who view less violent pornography or less pornography overall. For teen girls, their violent pornography exposure is associated with nonviolent risk behaviors, such as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/105984051456">substance use, buying or selling sex, and sexual victimization</a>. </p>
<h2>3. Although it is not wise, sexting is not always harmful</h2>
<p>Although many adults cringe when they learn about teens sharing nudes with each other – <a href="https://cyberbullying.org/sexting-laws">many states</a> still define sexting among teens as the distribution of child sexual abuse material – consensual sexting can be a normal and healthy part of adolescent sexuality. Some teens are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-022-09952-y">motivated to use sexting</a> to explore their sexuality by expressing their feelings and desires while practicing trust and vulnerability with intimate images. However, if sexting is coercive, or the sexts are shared outside of the couple without permission, it can be considered by law enforcement and violence researchers a form of sexual harassment or <a href="https://doi.org/10.4324/9781351135153">image-based sexual abuse</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A girl with glasses is underneath a bedcover as the green glare of an iPhone illuminates her surprised and bespectacled face." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/512716/original/file-20230228-691-q9katl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Three out of four teens have viewed online pornography.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/cute-girl-watching-video-on-phone-with-shocked-royalty-free-image/1390528082?phrase=teens%20iphones&adppopup=true">Alihan Usullu via Getty Images</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>It’s important to note that, as with many issues related to teenage development, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-71882-8_4">potential harms or benefits of sexting</a> are dependent on factors such as maturity, the nature of the relationship between the individuals involved and gender. For example, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-022-00775-y">one study</a> found that boys were more likely than girls to disseminate sexts to peers without the consent of those in the picture. </p>
<h2>4. Sending other people’s sexual content is often harmful and illegal</h2>
<p>Once an image or video is shared, it can be difficult to control how it is used or distributed, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and embarrassment for the original sender. The sending of others’ sexual content can take many forms, such as sharing a nude image via small groups or posting an image more publicly to a website. Such images and videos can be shared widely or even secretly among private social media accounts and group email lists known as “<a href="https://theconversation.com/jocks-and-frat-boys-more-likely-than-other-men-in-college-to-visit-slut-pages-and-post-nude-images-without-consent-156365">slut pages</a>.” </p>
<p>Slut pages have the ability to <a href="https://www.wbur.org/npr/467959873/teen-girls-and-social-media-a-story-of-secret-lives-and-misogyny">shape a school’s culture on sexual violence</a>, as they are intended to make nonconsensual pornography seem amusing. This can encourage peers and even adults to minimize the emotional trauma a person may experience when they learn that their images are posted on a slut page.</p>
<h2>5. Schools can be liable for online sexual misconduct under Title IX</h2>
<p><a href="https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/title-ix-rights-201104.html">Title IX</a>, a federal law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex in education programs and activities that receive federal funding, can potentially be used to address nonconsensual pornography in high schools. When school administrators know or reasonably should know about nonconsensual pornography, Title IX requires them to take prompt and effective steps to end the harassment, prevent its recurrence and address its effects. This can include conducting investigations, taking disciplinary action against the individuals involved and providing support and resources for affected students.</p>
<p>However, a <a href="https://www.knowyourix.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Know-Your-IX-2021-Report-Final-Copy.pdf">study</a> conducted by Advocates for Youth showed that school staff tended to minimize sexual harassment as a typical right of passage. Without staff training that targets this bias, the victims of nonconsensual pornography can feel uncomfortable going to staff <a href="https://www.knowyourix.org/">because victim blaming can be so prevalent</a>. For example, in <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15546128.2022.2076757">our experiences training</a> school staff, a common response to the distribution of a student’s nude images is often, “Why did she send him that picture in the first place?” which is understandable. Educators could also consider asking, “Why did he share that picture with the whole school?”</p>
<h2>Is there anything that can be done?</h2>
<p>In our study, we found that public school administrators, staff and educators <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15546128.2022.2076757">overwhelmingly agree</a> that education for school staff, parents and students needs to happen to improve the social lives of today’s digital natives. We found that when school staff received education that included facts about how teens engage with pornography and sexting and some examples of how to respond when problems occur, they were more confident and less embarrassed discussing these topics if they were to arise at school. </p>
<p>We also think if schools’ sexual misconduct policies address digital behavior, that could also play a major role in determining how schools both prevent and respond to nonconsensual sexting and pornography among students. We are currently researching which schools do this well to provide an example that other schools can follow.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/198576/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Megan K. Maas does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>An expert on adolescent sexuality weighs in on how technology has changed the amount and type of pornography that teens can consume – and what that means when it happens at school.Megan K. Maas, Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Studies, Michigan State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1900632022-09-22T20:15:57Z2022-09-22T20:15:57ZHow do you teach a primary school child about consent? You can start with these books<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/485453/original/file-20220920-20859-hydelp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C60%2C5760%2C3699&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Johnny McClung/Unsplash</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Parents will be increasingly aware they need to talk about <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-08-31/victorian-sexual-assault-laws-changing-affirmative-consent/101383450">consent</a> with their children. </p>
<p>There is no such thing as “too young” to start the conversation. In fact, the earlier the better, when it comes to understanding how to have respect for your body and other people’s. </p>
<p>We are researchers on children’s literature that deals with issues around sex and gender. Books can provide a safe, engaging way to discuss the tricky but vital topic of consent. </p>
<h2>Books for younger children</h2>
<p>For primary-aged children, books don’t usually discuss sexual consent, but cover topics such as boundaries, safe touching and healthy relationships.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37675062-let-s-talk-about-body-boundaries-consent-and-respect?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=GVUoAFwHGD&rank=1">Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect</a> by primary teacher and mother Jayneen Sanders is one place you can start. </p>
<p>This book teaches verbal and non-verbal ways children can show they are OK for another person to go inside their “body boundary” – an invisible line around the child’s body. It also reminds adult readers that if a child indicates they don’t want to be touched, it’s important to respect this. As the book says in its opening line: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Your body belongs to you and you are the boss of it.</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="Front cover Rissy No Kisses by Katey Howees" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485454/original/file-20220920-16535-5k61da.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Rissy No Kisses by Katey Howes.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://lernerbooks.com/shop/show/20826">Lerner Publishing Group</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48690927-rissy-no-kissies?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=J3Q5qcCFEz&rank=1">Rissy No Kisses</a> by children’s author Katey Howes is about a lovebird named Rissy. She says “no” to kisses because they make her uncomfortable, but this makes other people think she is being rude. Rissy learns there is nothing wrong with her. As her mother tells her: “your body and your heart are yours, and you choose how to share”.</p>
<p>Both these books show the importance of kids talking to trustworthy adults. They provide notes for children, parents and educators about body autonomy, consent and different ways to show affection. Even just reading and talking about consent with kids shows them their parents are part of their “safety network” (adults they can trust). </p>
<p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45730904-consent-for-kids">Consent (for Kids!): Boundaries and Being in Charge of You</a> by former higher school teacher Rachel Brian uses more lighthearted language, but stays on the same theme. It with begins with the message: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Consent, it’s like being the ruler of your own country. Population: You.
‘I hearby decree that I won’t be doing any snuggling today’.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Books for older children</h2>
<p>For older primary school children, there are also books that talk about consent more broadly, as well as sexual consent. </p>
<p>These books introduce the concepts of agency (the power to decide), saying “yes” and “no”, and what consent is before introducing sex, puberty and developing crushes. </p>
<p>They talk about how understanding consent is part of growing up. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="Front cover of Welcome To Consent by Yumi Styles and Melissa Kang." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=769&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=769&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=769&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=967&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=967&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/485456/original/file-20220920-8366-jt703f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=967&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Welcome To Consent by Yumi Styles and Melissa Kang.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Hardie Grant</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Two books to consider here are <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57806040-welcome-to-consent?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=xoDtlSP9cr&rank=1">Welcome to Consent</a> by broadcaster and mother Yumi Stynes and former Dolly doctor Melissa Kang and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53398875-can-we-talk-about-consent?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=pmUUg71FrO&rank=1">Can We Talk About Consent</a> by sex and relationships educator Justin Hancock and illustrator Fuchsia Macaree. </p>
<p>The latter’s chapter on sex begins by telling the reader “it’s okay if you aren’t ready to learn about sex yet. Either skip ahead, or put the book down for a bit”.</p>
<p>Both books use hand-drawn illustrations to represent different bodies and experiences.</p>
<p>Importantly, they define consent in clear ways, and use correct language to describe body parts and sexual acts. Unlike the Morrison government’s <a href="https://theconversation.com/not-only-are-some-of-the-governments-consent-videos-bizarre-and-confusing-many-reinforce-harmful-gender-stereotypes-159220">infamous, confusing “milkshake”</a> video in 2021, there are no embarrassed metaphors or unhelpful euphemisms to talk about sex. </p>
<h2>What to watch out for</h2>
<p>Not all books cover consent well. Some frame consent as something that boys must get from girls, reinforcing gendered stereotypes. Others assume all readers are heterosexual, white and able-bodied. Look for books featuring different perspectives.</p>
<p>Welcome to Consent uses “own voices” quotes from lots of different people, meaning consent is approached from different angles. For example, 15-year-old Tans writes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I have ADHD and autism and anxiety. These things can affect my ability to interpret body language. I need a few more cues.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Sometimes you can read these books with your child, sometimes they may want to read them alone. The most important thing is you are starting an open discussion with them.</p>
<p>Talking about consent with young people can be daunting, but it’s an important topic we can’t ignore. Books about consent can teach kids about safety and respect and – when the time is right – can empower them with understanding sex and consent as well.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/190063/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emma Whatman is affiliated with The Australasian Children’s Literature Association for Research (ACLAR) and The Australian Women’s and Gender Studies Association (AWGSA).</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Paul Venzo is affiliated with the Australasian Children’s Literature Association for Research (ACLAR). </span></em></p>There is no such thing as “too young” to start the conversation about consent and children’s literature can help.Emma Whatman, Sessional Academic, Faculty of Arts and Education, Deakin UniversityPaul Venzo, Deakin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1885782022-08-22T02:17:24Z2022-08-22T02:17:24ZLike Grand Designs but naughty: Netflix’s How To Build A Sex Room brings kink and sex positivity into the mainstream<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480220/original/file-20220822-54920-e3lzru.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=5%2C5%2C3589%2C2015&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Netflix</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>How to Build a Sex Room <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21030224/">on Netflix</a> follows interior designer Melanie Rose as she uncovers her clients’ sex lives and designs personalised sex rooms based on their desires and needs. </p>
<p>The show focuses on regular people from the suburbs looking to explore their sex lives and the clients include single people, queer and straight couples, and a <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/polycule-relationship-structures">polyamorous</a> family of seven. It combines the popular reality television genre of home improvement with an exploration of kink culture and a splash of sex education. Think <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418372/">The Block</a> meets <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/">Secretary</a>.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1539994187881480193"}"></div></p>
<p>In each episode, host Melanie Rose will meet a couple, find out about their sex-lives, introduce them to various aspects of kink and sex education depending on their needs, and then design them a sex room. This ranges from couples already experienced in kink culture who are looking to broaden and deepen their experimentation, to couples who need to revitalise their sex lives or reconnect physically, and are looking for a space to do so. While there is frank discussion and even demonstration of tools and techniques, the show remains relatively inoffensive in terms of what they depict on the screen.</p>
<p>While the show has been praised for bringing kink practices into mainstream TV, kink has a long history across cultures. Historical interpretations vary, but elements of kink can be identified in the worshipping of the goddess <a href="https://www.worldhistory.org/Inanna/">Inanna</a> all the way back in <a href="https://www.kinkly.com/bdsm-is-older-than-you-think-way-older/2/17777">ancient Mesopotamia</a>. </p>
<p>Kink is connected to and different from BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and/or sadism/masochism). Many will be familiar with the writings of the Marquis de Sade in the 18th century, who inspired the coining of the word sadism. Modern kink and BDSM have origins in LGBTQ+ communities including 1960s-1970s <a href="http://www.glbtqarchive.com/ssh/leather_culture_S.pdf">leather cultures</a>. <a href="https://xtramagazine.com/love-sex/a-brief-history-of-bdsm-64994">Leather cultures</a> were a way in which queer people could push back against social norms and build safe, underground communities to explore sexuality. </p>
<p>In general terms, kink refers to sexual practices that are different from current sociocultural norms. This may involve consensual negotiations of power that characterise BDSM and other activities, such as threesomes, orgies, fetish play and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2016/jan/21/shibari-pushing-boundaries-in-the-ancient-japanese-practice-of-knot-tying">Shibari</a> rope play.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480221/original/file-20220822-57554-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">in How To Build A Sex Room, couples are introduced to various levels of kink and bondage, so Melanie Rose can design a sex room that meets their needs and desires.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Netflix</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Kink in pop culture</h2>
<p>Kink, BDSM and sex positivity have infiltrated <a href="https://www.gq.com/story/how-bdsm-went-mainstream-on-tv">mainstream pop</a> and social media cultures. Films such as <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091635/">9½ Weeks</a> (1986) and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103772/">Basic Instinct</a> (1992) feature bondage, impact play, and dominance and submission dynamics, while television series such as <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159206/">Sex and the City</a> and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7718088/">Bonding</a> have dealt with the complexity of sex, kink and relationships. </p>
<p>Kinksters and BDSM practitioners can connect on social media platforms like <a href="https://medium.com/spnkd/curious-about-joining-fetlife-take-my-hand-and-let-me-guide-you-bbbfe17033cc">Fetlife</a> (the Fetish version of Facebook), and there are plenty of sex-specific meet-up apps such as <a href="https://feeld.co/">Feeld</a> among others.</p>
<p>The book and later film series <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2322441/">50 Shades of Grey</a> featuring sado-masochism were global top-sellers. Pop music icons like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc">Rihanna</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gOHvDP_vCs">Justin Timberlake</a> have had best-selling hits featuring lyrics about kink. BDSM gear like leather harnesses are now <a href="https://www.outfrontmagazine.com/from-fringe-to-fashion-bdsm-in-the-mainstream/">high fashion</a>, and sex toys such as floggers and paddles have their own section at most online and bricks and mortar sex shops.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SfZWFDs0LxA?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<h2>Destigmatising sex and desire</h2>
<p>The incorporation of kink and sex positivity into shows like How to Build a Sex Room is important for <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/jul/08/how-to-build-a-sex-room-review">destigmatising diverse sexual practices and desires</a>. It reminds us that sex does not have to be about reproduction and heterosexual marriage. It can and does occur in a variety of romantic and sexual relationships, including queer and <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882">polyamorous</a> relationships. </p>
<p>The show tells important stories about sex as forms of play, fun, exploration and intimate connection. It is not surprising that the series has attracted significant <a href="https://www.cinemablend.com/streaming-news/after-netflix-debuted-new-series-how-to-build-a-sex-room-the-internet-definitely-had-reactions">social media attention</a> and <a href="https://www.cinemablend.com/streaming-news/how-to-build-a-sex-room-thoughts-i-had-while-watching-the-netflix-design-show">positive responses</a> from viewers, particularly for its diverse cast across age, gender, race, and sexuality.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/480223/original/file-20220822-48741-4ma94y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A couple on How To Build A Sex Room experimenting with light flogging.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Netflix</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Reality TV gets an erotic makeover</h2>
<p>However, this diversity does not extend to economic circumstances: all clients in How to Build a Sex Room appear to be working professionals and homeowners. One episode features a camper van renovation for a same-sex couple, but most episodes involve renovating a room in a spacious suburban home, raising questions about who can afford to create a dedicated sex space. </p>
<p>The show sidesteps questions of class and home ownership. Instead, it implies that all you need to spice up your sex life is a luxurious, custom-built play space complete with expensive soft furnishings, an array of (often expensive) sex toys, a tantric chair or sex swing, and a St Andrews cross. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1545982755992911873"}"></div></p>
<p>At play here (pun intended) is a consumerist model of relationship transformation that relies on access to financial resources and social capital. As a spin on the <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2021/05/how-hgtv-magnolia-and-netflix-are-building-a-massive-space-in-the-stream">home renovation-makeover genre</a>, the show stages a rapid intervention designed to improve people’s sex lives, and enhance their intimate relationships, but these interventions are carefully staged and limited in scope. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-how-the-moral-panic-over-sexual-sadists-silenced-their-victims-103445">Friday essay: how the moral panic over 'sexual sadists' silenced their victims</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Vanilla kink</h2>
<p>While How to Build a Sex Room has been credited with <a href="https://www.vogue.in/culture-and-living/content/a-sex-room-could-reignite-the-missing-spark-in-your-relationship-according-to-designer-melanie-rose">demystifying kink</a><a href="https://www.intomore.com/tv/build-sex-room-kinkiest-fantasies-come-life-home/"></a> and <a href="https://www.intomore.com/tv/build-sex-room-kinkiest-fantasies-come-life-home/">normalising diverse sexual desires</a>, the show produces kink through a specific lens that does not reflect the wider range of kink practices, desires and settings. The mainstreaming of kink runs the risk of normalising some kink practices while re-stigmatising or simply overlooking others. </p>
<p>For example, the show’s emphasis on creating private play-spaces overlooks <a href="https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/10.51681.1.523_Kink-Community-Education-Experiential-Learning-and-Communities-of-Practice-Sprott-Meeker-OBrien.pdf">the importance of kink community and public play</a>. Many kink communities run public play events to share important skills and educate on safe kink practices. Private play-spaces also confine intimacy to affluent, private homes. </p>
<p>Despite featuring diverse sexual practices, How to Build a Sex Room paints a fairly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12119-019-09590-x">vanilla</a> picture of sex as a private act between people in long-term relationships, living in wealthy homes with a glamorous space decked out exclusively for sex – a far cry from the everyday realities of sex.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, shows like this are good ways to introduce mainstream audiences to the world of kink. A world that can be exciting, pleasurable and sexy.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/188578/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andrea Waling receives funding from the Australian Research Council and the Commonwealth Department of Health</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jacinthe Flore receives funding from the Australian Research Council and RMIT University.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kiran Pienaar receives funding from the Australian Research Council and Deakin University. </span></em></p>How To Build A Sex Room is a classic home renovation reality show, with a sexy, and wholesome, twist.Andrea Waling, ARC DECRA Senior Research Fellow in Sex & Sexuality, La Trobe UniversityJacinthe Flore, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, RMIT UniversityKiran Pienaar, Senior Lecturer, Sociology, Deakin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1848042022-06-21T15:14:42Z2022-06-21T15:14:42Z‘Parental rights’ lobby puts trans and queer kids at risk<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469515/original/file-20220617-13-57ibps.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=4%2C34%2C3313%2C2318&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Moms and dads of queer and trans teens also have parental rights. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">THE CANADIAN PRESS/Peter McCabe</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/-parental-rights--lobby-puts-trans-and-queer-kids-at-risk" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>The political right’s current strategy for fighting against LGBTQ+ equality is to frame discussions about sexuality and gender in school as an infringement on parents’ rights.</p>
<p>In 2020, far-right Australian MP Mark Latham introduced a <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/politics/nsw/latham-s-education-bill-stirs-debate-about-transgender-issues-in-schools-20201022-p567oi.html">“Parental Rights” bill</a>. The bill would have prohibited teachers from addressing any topic that veered close to “core values” <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/mar/16/targeted-discrimination-nsw-government-rejects-mark-lathams-trans-bill">without parental consent</a> — including LGBTQ+ gender and sexuality. </p>
<p>While <a href="https://theconversation.com/nsw-inquiry-rejects-expert-advice-on-parental-rights-bill-and-it-will-cause-students-to-suffer-167539">psychology experts</a> concerned with well-being and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/mar/16/targeted-discrimination-nsw-government-rejects-mark-lathams-trans-bill">the New South Wales Government</a> have now rejected the bill, the focus on parental rights isn’t limited to Australia.</p>
<p>Parents, as a group, represent diverse concerns. The group includes LGBTQ+ parents, parents of queer and trans children and young people, pregnant and parenting teens and politically progressive activist parents — and all of the above have diverse educational, religious, economic, racialized and political experiences. However, the conservative description of parents often neglects this reality.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two fathers seen with their daughter on a couch." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469518/original/file-20220617-14-ftu74x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">LGBTQ+ parents are somehow left out of parent rights’ lobbying.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Pexels/Kampus Production)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Rise of ‘parental rights’ campaigns</h2>
<p>In the United States, the now infamous parental rights law in Florida, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/gender-and-schooling/202203/how-don-t-say-gay-and-parental-rights-laws-can-harm-students">widely known as “Don’t say Gay,</a>” restricts conversations about sexuality and gender in primary school. </p>
<p>And in 2015, conservatives framed a controversy about a new, progressive sex education curriculum in Ontario, Canada, as <a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-premier-doug-ford-says-schools-will-revert-to-old-sex-ed-curriculum/">an attack on parents’ rights</a>. </p>
<p>In this conflict over gender, sexuality and schooling, conservatives invoke parental rights, and implicitly position these as <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/16/opinion/will-estrada-and-parental-rights.html">superseding young people’s right</a> to access information about their health and well-being. </p>
<p>As American journalist <a href="https://bostonreview.net/articles/dont-say-gay-laws-dont-care-about-kids/">Judith Levine</a> argues, the elevation of parents’ rights can be tied to U.S. Reagan-era policies. These policies sought to salvage the nuclear family, in part by attacking public education and the expansion of rights for sexual and gender minorities. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.parliament.nsw.gov.au/lcdocs/inquiries/2610/Report%20No%2044%20-%20PC%203%20-%20Education%20Legislation%20Amendment%20(Parental%20Rights)%20Bill%202020.pdf">2021 foreword to Lantham’s proposed bill</a>, when it was sent to committee for review and inquiry, articulated the view that a “positive view of family life is under challenge”, due to school-based discussions of gender and sexuality. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A sign at a rally with a rainbow is seen that says some parents are their child's first bully." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469511/original/file-20220617-15-g8jtqq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">For queer and trans teens, positive family life needs to reject homophobia and transphobia.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Denin Lawley/Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Problems with ‘health outcomes’ approach</h2>
<p>In a broader context of controversies over sexuality and gender in schools, some policymakers focus on the important health outcomes for young people who have <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/whatworks/what-works-sexual-health-education.htm">comprehensive, medically accurate information</a> about sexuality and gender. </p>
<p>Sociologists Steven Epstein and Laura Mamo call this approach “healthism”. They <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28716452">argue</a> the language of health contains or cancels “the stigma that so often adheres to sexuality and extinguish[es] the flames of political and moral controversy”.</p>
<p>But the work of queer theorists like Eve Sedgwick reveal problems with “healthist” approaches to sex education in schools. Sedgwick’s <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv11hpmxs">warning from 1993</a> remains eerily prescient: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“[…] this society wants its children to know nothing; it wants its queer [and trans] children to conform (and this is not a figure of speech) or die; and wants not to know that it is getting what it wants.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Sedgwick warns it would be naive to believe that there is broad support for protecting the health and well-being of young people when their needs and questions challenge <a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-isnt-the-end-of-childhood-innocence-but-an-opportunity-to-rethink-childrens-rights-134478">dominant modern norms and values embedded in our institutions</a>. </p>
<p>Recent <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/15/magazine/gender-therapy.html">conversations about trans youth’s access to health care</a> that would support and affirm their gender expose the ways health-care systems — despite their supposed neutrality — are shaped by transphobia. </p>
<p>Trans historian Jules Gill-Peterson <a href="https://sadbrowngirl.substack.com/p/three-questions-for-every-paper-of?s=w">writes</a> about how “the foundation of the transgender healthcare we inherit today was deliberately designed to stop trans people from transitioning in most cases”. </p>
<h2>Trans youth framed as threat</h2>
<p>Conservative parents and politicians who invoke parental rights are not persuaded by arguments that access to information and support is necessary for young people’s health and well-being. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="A sign at a rally seen that says transgender chlidren are not political pawns." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=750&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=750&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=750&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=943&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=943&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469513/original/file-20220617-20-rvxyuc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=943&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Right-wing advocacy has framed trans youth as as a threat to their straight and cisgender peers.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Nikolas Gannon/Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In their view, young people aren’t being educated, they are being “groomed” and <a href="https://books.google.ca/books/about/Talk_about_Sex.html?id=jBWYvXt18CwC&redir_esc=y">conversations about gender identity and sexuality are themselves abusive</a>. </p>
<p>LGBTQ+ youth, and trans youth in particular, perversely become framed as a threat to their straight and cisgender peers. </p>
<p>Conservatives insist that knowledge about diverse genders and sexualities introduce faddish ideas about gender and sexuality that <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/gender-whisperers-scott-morrison-criticised-for-hateful-tweet-about-trans-students/2h8ksrsdw">contaminate the innocence of their children</a>. </p>
<p>This logic reaches its dangerous conclusion in laws that would restrict trans youth from accessing health care that <a href="https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/what-gender-affirming-care-your-questions-answered">affirms their gender</a>. In Texas, the state has been <a href="https://www.texastribune.org/2022/06/10/texas-gender-affirming-care-child-abuse">investigating parents</a> who secure gender-affirming health care for their children as potential child abusers. This legal sanctioning of transphobia denies trans existence <a href="https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/texas-wants-to-take-trans-kids-from-their-supportive-parents-were-suing">and sanctions discrimination and violence</a> that can have lethal consequences for trans people. </p>
<h2>Rethinking parental rights</h2>
<p>Shouldn’t “parental rights” extend to the parents of trans and non-binary young people and their responsibility to protect their children’s health and well-being? Shouldn’t trans and queer parents also expect schools to provide safe learning environments for their children? </p>
<p>Australian <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-out-of-5-parents-support-teaching-gender-and-sexuality-diversity-in-australian-schools-176787">research has shown</a> the vast majority of parents support explicit teaching and learning about gender and sexuality diversity. With a sample of more than 2000 parents across Australian government (public) schools, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2021.1949975">more than 80% of respondents indicated</a> they supported gender and sexuality diversity inclusion as part of the relationships and sexual health curriculum from kindergarten through to year 12. In Canada as well, there is <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cjhs.2020-0049">widespread and well-established support</a> from parents for LGBTQ+ inclusion in schools and sex education. </p>
<p>This isn’t to suggest that there aren’t debates about the nature and scope of LGBTQ+ inclusion in schools. Both these aforementioned Australian and Canadian studies point to differences based on region, topics addressed and grade level. </p>
<p>However, the parents represented in these studies are more diverse and less conservative than right-wing advocates of parental rights. Parents who want to see LGBTQ+ students, teachers and families supported and affirmed in schools need to speak up against right-wing framings of parental rights.</p>
<p>We can start by recognizing and supporting the parental rights of parents who are doing their best to love and support their trans and queer children in a hostile political climate.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/184804/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jen Gilbert receives funding as the Hunt-Simes Visiting Chair in Sexuality Studies Fellow at the Sydney Social Science and Humanities Advanced Research Centre (SSSHARC) at the University of Sydney. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Victoria Rawlings receives funding from the Australian Research Council DECRA scheme. </span></em></p>Conservative rhetoric about ‘parent rights’ that marginalizes LGBTQ+ positive sex education erases the complexity of parent identities and denies possibilities for richer school experiences.Jen Gilbert, Professor, Faculty of Education;, York University, CanadaVictoria Rawlings, Lecturer, University of Sydney School of Education and Social Work, University of SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1826772022-05-10T02:47:17Z2022-05-10T02:47:17Z60 years and 14 Doctors: how Doctor Who has changed with the times – and Ncuti Gatwa’s casting is the natural next step<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462129/original/file-20220510-26-pjijco.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=3%2C7%2C2485%2C1654&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Netflix</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-61371123">BBC’s announcement</a> that the Rwandan-Scottish actor Ncuti Gatwa will play Doctor Who from 2023 is making global headlines. </p>
<p>Even people who <a href="https://junkee.com/sex-education-eric/193181">don’t watch the show</a> have been taking to social media to comment about Gatwa’s casting. The announcement makes his the 14th casting of the show’s lead actor, the 13th to be male and the first ever to be a person of colour. </p>
<p>Despite a few of the usual gloomy voices, there is genuine excitement among both fans and casual viewers, proving that his casting means the 14th Doctor and the show’s 60th year look to be special. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462130/original/file-20220510-15-na1qn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Ncuti Gatwa has been cast as the 14th Doctor.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Alberto Pezzali/ AP</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Changing with the times</h2>
<p>Necessity is the mother of invention, as the saying goes, and necessity has enabled Doctor Who’s incredible near six decades of (interrupted) production to become the world’s most enduring science fiction series.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0367156/">William Hartnell</a>, a veteran film and stage actor, was announced as the lead in a new science fiction series <a href="https://www.bbc.com/historyofthebbc/anniversaries/november/doctor-who-first-episode/">in 1963 </a>and viewers watched his adventures in space and time over the next three years. </p>
<p>By October 1966, Hartnell was exhausted and unwell, <a href="https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/doctor-who-the-behind-the-scenes-causes-of-regeneration/">arteriosclerosis</a> affecting his ability to learn lines. The BBC could cancel the show, or, do something inventive and keep the character and series intact but change the lead actor. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2016/oct/28/doctor-who-changed-face-and-transformed-tv-for-ever">Patrick Troughton</a>, another respected and prolific actor, became the Doctor. Because the Doctor is an alien Time Lord, the character has the ability to regenerate when his or her body becomes old, ill, or injured. The excellence of Troughton’s performance meant the renewal of the character was a success, now repeated more than a dozen times. </p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aXBmQz2r2M8?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
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<p>Thinking of the incredible contrast between Hartnell and Gatwa, is reminder of not only how long Doctor Who has lasted, but how the British acting profession and indeed Britain itself has changed.</p>
<p>Born in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0367156/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm">Edwardian England in 1908</a>, before the invention of television and before films had sound, Hartnell was an established leading man in his mid 50s when cast as the Doctor. Gatwa is a child of the nineties, born 1992. </p>
<h2>From Hartnell to Gatwa</h2>
<p>The black and white Doctor Who of the Hartnell era was also monochrome in more ways than one. An all-white leading cast of the Doctor and his companions reflected the demographics of the British acting profession of the time. </p>
<p>Gatwa’s casting in Doctor Who is owed to what the showrunner Russell T Davies called a <a href="https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/sci-fi/russell-t-davies-ncuti-gatwa-audition-doctor-who-newsupdate-exclusive/">brilliant and show stealing audition</a>. His acting credentials are already sky high after the massive success of <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7767422/">Sex Education</a>. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/netflixs-sex-education-is-doing-sex-education-better-than-most-schools-170776">Netflix's Sex Education is doing sex education better than most schools</a>
</strong>
</em>
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<p>Doctor Who has a history of showcasing not only performers from minority backgrounds but narratives and histories of people of colour. </p>
<p>Besides the casting of <a href="https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Noel_Clarke">Noel Clarke</a>, <a href="https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Freema_Agyeman">Freema Agyeman</a> and <a href="https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Pearl_Mackie">Pearl Mackie</a>, to most recently Tosin Cole and Mandip Gill, the series has made casting choices that insist on the presence of black and minority ethnic people in Britain’s future and past. </p>
<p>The classic Doctor Who (made 1963-1989) did cast actors from minority backgrounds, but not as Doctors or companions. Since the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenth_Doctor">David Tennant</a> era (2005-2010) the show runners have made diversity part of their casting process for leads and guests alike. </p>
<p>Sophie Okonedo played <a href="http://doctorwhoworlduk.com/elizabeth-x">Liz X</a>, a British queen in the far future, while stories set in <a href="https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/The_Eaters_of_Light_(TV_story)">Roman Britain</a> and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0974729/">16th</a> and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4545140/">17th</a> century England made casting choices that reflected the historically accurate presence of <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-18903391">black people in pre-modern and early modern England</a>. </p>
<h2>Gender is not scary</h2>
<p>To say that in 2017 the casting of Jodie Whittaker as the Doctor after 12 men in succession caused an epic meltdown is an understatement.</p>
<p>The Australian comedian Mark Humphries hilariously satirised the reactions of mostly older male fans <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMSIe6WfXYE&t=9s">in a sketch</a> offering a helpline for Doctor Who fans unable to cope with the “new reality: a fictional alien that is a woman”.</p>
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<p>Immediately after her casting, Whittaker had to assure male fans not be <a href="https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/doctor-who-fans-defend-jodie-whittaker-over-hate-speech-comments-35936030.html">afraid of her gender</a>. The anger and fear that, from some quarters, greeted her casting also prompted soul searching among <a href="https://inews.co.uk/opinion/comment/doctor-who-season-11-jodie-whittaker-female-fans-205425">fans</a> on the sometimes unwelcoming space that fandom can be for females.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=337&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/462132/original/file-20220510-15-c8777d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Jodie Whittaker as the 13th Doctor.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Wikipedia</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Towards 60 years</h2>
<p>It is unlikely that Gatwa’s casting will provoke satire based on race the way Whittaker’s did on gender. However with the announcement only days old, already there is counter reaction. </p>
<p>The conservative Telegraph has declared this shows Doctor Who’s producers no longer care about pleasing <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2022/05/08/choice-ncuti-gatwa-proves-bbc-has-given-trying-please-legacy/">“legacy fans”</a>, presumably suggesting that viewers old enough to remember William Hartnell can’t cope with Ncuti Gatwa. </p>
<p>However doomsayers predicted the show would implode with a female lead: clearly it did not. Gatwa not only brings a huge following from Sex Education but a high social media profile. </p>
<p>He will be the lead for the show’s 60th anniversary special. What that special will involve is as yet unknown, but 60 is an astonishing age for a television program to reach.</p>
<p>When played by Hartnell, the Doctor cautioned against pessimism: “there must be no tears, no regrets, no anxieties” he said, a hopeful sentiment worth remembering as we watch a young actor take the TARDIS into a new decade.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182677/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Marcus Harmes does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Sex Education star Ncuti Gatwa has been cast as the 14th Doctor – a move which shows that Doctor Who is continually adapting in its 60th year.Marcus Harmes, Professor in Pathways Education, University of Southern QueenslandLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1754112022-03-14T15:55:59Z2022-03-14T15:55:59ZStopping violence against women starts with learning what misogyny really is<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451323/original/file-20220310-27-2oiimh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C11%2C7951%2C5285&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/schoolgirl-pupil-student-answering-blackboard-presenting-2044430423">Inside Creative House/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>It’s now over a year since 33-year-old <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/mar/03/sarah-everard-family-pay-tribute-first-anniversary-murder-wayne-couzens-met-police">Sarah Everard</a> was kidnapped while she walked home and killed by a police officer in London. Since then, we’ve also seen the case of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/dec/16/man-accepts-responsibility-for-death-of-primary-school-teacher-sabina-nessa">Sabina Nessa</a>, a primary school teacher also from London, was also killed by a stranger while walking to meet a friend. And in early 2022 in Tullamore, Ireland, 23-year-old <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-60043548">Ashling Murphy</a> was killed when out for a run in a public place in daylight hours. </p>
<p>The problem of violence against women <a href="https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/WHO-SRH-21.6">might seem insurmountable</a>. But <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/edth.12504">focusing on education</a> about misogyny may provide a place to start. In particular, it is important to help young people understand what misogyny is, how it affects both women and men, and how it can lead to violence. </p>
<p>Our research on <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/edth.12504">moral education</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03057240.2020.1837751">sex education</a> and violence against women can help spell out the link between misogyny and violence, and how education can address these issues.</p>
<p>According to the philosopher <a href="https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/12/5/16705284/elizabeth-warren-loss-2020-sexism-misogyny-kate-manne">Kate Manne</a>, misogyny is not “hatred of women”. Instead, it is a set of social rules that enforce a patriarchal society – one where men are dominant and women are subordinate. The essence of misogyny lies in its function, and that function is to keep women down. </p>
<p>Misogyny is deeply rooted in society. Girls are regularly assigned lower social status, while masculinity is associated with power and privilege. In an unequal society it is easier to justify violence committed by the more powerful. Women might be treated with scepticism and not believed, while men might be favoured, and their side of the story deemed more credible. </p>
<p>However, misogyny also affects men. Research suggests that men can suffer from a phenomenon known as “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5868744/#:%7E:text=Masculine%20discrepancy%20stress%20(MDS)%2C,been%20restricted%20to%20adult%20males.">male discrepancy stress</a>” – feelings of distress when they feel they have failed to conform to masculine gender norms. </p>
<p>Male discrepancy stress might come from the idea of being perceived as weak, dependent or emotional. This distress has been linked to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5868426/">male violence against women</a>. When men feel the effects of misogyny, it can have deadly effects upon women.</p>
<p>Educating people about misogyny and its repercussions could be a start in addressing violence against women.</p>
<h2>Building identity</h2>
<p><a href="http://www.raewynconnell.net/p/masculinities_20.html">Children try to create their own identity</a>, but this can be undermined by gender-based bullying. For instance, a boy who wants to be a nurse when he grows up might suppress this ambition when confronted by the reactions of other children, and instead focus on a more “masculine” career. </p>
<p>At school, children could be <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/edth.12504">encouraged to reflect</a> on how gender stereotypes have affected them – and how, in turn, their own behaviour might constrain their classmates. </p>
<p>Reflection on gender stereotypes can be guided through philosophy. The central idea behind philosophy for children is to facilitate autonomous learners by <a href="https://journal.viterbo.edu/index.php/at/article/view/832">encouraging students to think for themselves</a>. Starting with a reflection on how easy it is to rely on stereotypical thinking about gender, the teacher could query how useful or harmful such thinking might be. </p>
<p>Doing philosophy with children is known to have <a href="https://p4c.com/about-p4c/benefits-of-p4c/#:%7E:text=PHILOSOPHY%20FOR%20CHILDREN%20is%20often,emotional%20awareness%20and%20thinking%20skills.">beneficial outcomes</a> for children.</p>
<p>Another approach could use the history of philosophy as a starting point. Older students could be introduced to the work of Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797), the so called “mother of feminism” and a ferocious critic of <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/history-of-western-philosophy-of-education-in-the-age-of-enlightenment-9781350074507/">stereotypical notions of femininity</a>. </p>
<p>However, philosophers have often questioned whether the mother of feminism was <a href="https://philpapers.org/rec/GUBFMM">herself a misogynist</a>. Students could look at how Wollstonecraft herself may have <a href="https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/was-ireland-s-most-prominent-philosopher-too-womanly-1.3498724">perpetuated gender norms</a> by accusing fellow philosopher Edmund Burke of not being masculine enough. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="School students group discussion" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451349/original/file-20220310-27-145emo7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Discussion of gender norms could help students approach the topic of misogyny.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/high-school-students-taking-part-group-198926996">Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="https://bmchealthservres.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12913-018-3219-2">Participatory research methods</a>, where young people actively “do the research”, may be a good way to change perspectives. Two Irish school students, <a href="https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/munster/arid-40701701.html">Cormac Harris and Alan O’Sullivan</a>. conducted a project on gender bias in the classroom and won top prize at the 32nd European Union Contest for Young Scientists. </p>
<p>Harris and O'Sullivan investigated the prevalence of gender stereotypes in children aged from five to seven. They found that gender stereotyping was particularly prevalent among boys, and that boys are less willing to recognise female ability. To combat gender stereotyping, they have gathered resources to be used by teachers and parents that explicitly target gender bias. </p>
<p>Sex education classes can also provide a venue for students to learn about the importance of caring for the other person in a relationship and focusing on their wellbeing when discussing relationships. By incorporating issues of consent and partner violence, these classes can <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03057240.2020.1837751">help to prevent misogyny</a> and promote equality between genders.</p>
<p>This type of teaching could help give students a reflective distance from stereotypes, providing them with mental resources which may help when such stereotypes are used against them. In this way, perhaps, teaching could be used in the combat against gender inequality and male discrepancy stress.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/175411/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>It is important to help young people understand what misogyny is and how it can lead to violence.Katy Dineen, College Lecturer in Teaching & Learning Enhancement, University College CorkMaria Moulin-Stożek, University Professor, Jan Dlugosz University in CzestochowaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1774562022-02-21T04:42:12Z2022-02-21T04:42:12ZMandatory consent education is a huge win for Australia – but consent is just one small part of navigating relationships<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447431/original/file-20220221-16-t6wd0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/D-Dh6yUy8-M">Unsplash/Sinitta Leunen</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>One year after activist <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDsMFLBhBA/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link">Chanel Contos’ Instagram poll</a> revealed more than 6,700 testimonies of sexual assault – often at high school parties – education ministers around Australia have <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/news/the-feed/consent-education-will-be-mandatory-across-australian-schools-from-next-year">unanimously agreed</a> to mandate consent education in schools from 2023.</p>
<p>All Australian schools will be required to teach age-appropriate consent education – which includes coercion, gendered stereotypes and power imbalances – from foundation to year 10. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="InstagramEmbed" data-react-props="{"url":"https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDiiMOB4XR/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link","accessToken":"127105130696839|b4b75090c9688d81dfd245afe6052f20"}"></div></p>
<p>Currently, one in five women in Australia has <a href="https://www.ourwatch.org.au/quick-facts/">experienced some form of sexual violence</a>, with one in four of these being under 18 at the time. Evidence shows <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/publications/what-effective-primary-prevention-sexual-assault">preventive education</a>, including <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/injury/features/sexual-violence/index.html">information on consent</a>, is a powerful tool in reducing sexual assault. </p>
<p>So, a commitment to mandatory consent education is worth celebrating. </p>
<p>But the details around what schools can teach, what teachers are willing to teach, and what parents are willing to accept, are complex. And an exclusive focus on safety may come at the cost of the enjoyable benefits of human connection.</p>
<h2>Young people say consent education now is ‘atrocious’</h2>
<p>As part of an <a href="https://www.ecu.edu.au/schools/arts-and-humanities/research-and-creative-activity/communication-media-and-cultural-studies/adolescents-perceptions-of-harm-from-accessing-online-content">ongoing project</a>, we asked teenagers and their parents <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1369118X.2021.1988130?scroll=top&needAccess=true">about their perceptions</a> of school-based sex education, their experiences of online and offline harm, and online pornography. </p>
<p>Adolescents as young as 11 shared personal stories of harmful behaviour, including breaches of consent online, such as receiving unsolicited sexual images, and people re-sharing nude pictures meant for private viewing. </p>
<p>The teenagers who said they’d received consent education felt they hadn’t been given the tools required to instigate or navigate a conversation about consent – nor had they been helped around how to communicate a firm, but respectful “no”. </p>
<p>One teenager said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>The education system needs to catch up, it is light years behind […] because to be quite frankly honest, the education we receive (in this area) is atrocious.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>One teen told us about when a friend and his girlfriend’s loving relationship became sexual </p>
<blockquote>
<p>[…]It wasn’t that it was non-consensual and that she didn’t want it but it wasn’t 100% […] but now because there was a minor little check that hasn’t happened, his life’s been completely thrown in the gutter […] part of the system failed because she didn’t know how (to communicate a lack of consent) and he didn’t know how to (obtain consent) properly.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This highlights the fact consent is often a blurry, difficult concept that needs clarification. It illustrates that consent can be revoked at anytime. Another teenager said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>(we’ve) only been taught “make sure there’s consent”, not how to check if there actually is consent.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>It’s also often fear-based</h2>
<p>Teens in our study have said the fear-based approach to sex education means they are less likely to share their experiences with their parents and caregivers for fear of being punished. Although, we also found teenagers are generally reluctant, embarrassed or otherwise unreceptive to talking about sex with their parents. </p>
<p>Research also shows the “just don’t do it” approach is <a href="https://www.publichealth.columbia.edu/public-health-now/news/abstinence-only-education-failure?fbclid=IwAR3VtGwhzBuvAPQdCm9zGwLOVFpM8atKtubeoDUAwvxDfcgtZbXht82HXwU">akin to abstinence education</a>. It increases the risks of teenagers looking to porn for information. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/sexuality-education-can-counter-what-kids-learn-from-porn-but-some-teachers-fear-backlash-when-tackling-risky-topics-158209">Sexuality education can counter what kids learn from porn, but some teachers fear backlash when tackling 'risky' topics</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Such an approach overlooks the positives of expressing intimacy in safe spaces and denies young people’s real-world experiences of enjoyable, safe sexual behaviour both online and offline. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Young man lying on couch and looking through his phone." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447438/original/file-20220221-24-oqtlgy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Fear-based approaches to online sex education ignore many young peoples’ genuinely positive and safe experiences.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/asian-teenager-smiling-having-fun-while-1707753208">Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Given most parents did not receive consent education themselves, and many experience generational sexual shame that reflects traditional, cultural and religious beliefs, we expected many parents to be resistant to some parts of sexuality education, such as teaching about positive sexual experiences.</p>
<p>But most of the parents we spoke to supported better sex, relationships and consent education at schools. Many also felt they didn’t have the skills to delve into the nuances of consent and relied on schools to supply that information.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/4-out-of-5-parents-support-teaching-gender-and-sexuality-diversity-in-australian-schools-176787">4 out of 5 parents support teaching gender and sexuality diversity in Australian schools</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>‘Consent’ is just the start of good consent education</h2>
<p>What constitutes comprehensive relationships and sexuality education has been discussed for many years, but includes consent education. </p>
<p>Experts agree consent education includes more than simply discussions around “<a href="https://theconversation.com/not-as-simple-as-no-means-no-what-young-people-need-to-know-about-consent-155736">no means no</a>”. The conversation should include how to maintain and respect boundaries, managing rejection, and balancing giving consent with aspects of pleasure and desire. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/not-as-simple-as-no-means-no-what-young-people-need-to-know-about-consent-155736">Not as simple as 'no means no': what young people need to know about consent</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Too great a focus on consent, using a fear-based sex-negative approach (think of phrases like, “Are you sure?” “Are you absolutely certain?”) fails to acknowledge and respect the positive and pleasurable aspects of intimate human relationships. </p>
<p>Clunky approaches to these topics can mean romance, consensual seduction, courtship and trust may suffer, and teenagers will tune out. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/447445/original/file-20220221-27-bcp8ms.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Relationships education involves discussions around communication skills and empathy. Consent is only one small part of a complex picture.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/close-young-people-holding-hands-135268250">Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Consent education only starts with “consent”. There’s a bigger picture involving <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1369118X.2021.1988130?scroll=top&needAccess=true&">sex-positive concepts</a> such as practising empathy, building healthy relationships, communication skills, discussing sex outside the notions of reproduction and managing emotions.</p>
<p>Many said quality sex education depends on the teacher. But the schools that offer consent education generally have <a href="https://au.finance.yahoo.com/news/teachers-training-discuss-consent-rape-101150183.html">no mandatory training for those who teach it</a>. </p>
<h2>Making sure important parts of sex ed aren’t skipped over</h2>
<p>After a public consultation period in 2021, the Australian Curriculum Assessment <a href="https://www.acara.edu.au/curriculum/curriculum-review">reviewed the Australian curriculum</a>, judging it to be overcrowded. </p>
<p>Given this, all the trickier aspects of relationships and sexuality education are more likely to be skipped over or omitted. This is more likely if a teacher feels uncomfortable, rushed, or lacking in appropriate skills and knowledge. </p>
<p>Any curriculum change should be accompanied by an auditing process. Consent education should balance the safety perspective with the positive and realistic aspects of relationships and sex and be included in the curriculum up to year 12. This ideally would include government mandated support and training for teachers, based in sex-positivity.</p>
<p>It’s also important to consider that education around consent, relationships and sexuality doesn’t end at school. <a href="https://theconversation.com/netflixs-sex-education-is-doing-sex-education-better-than-most-schools-170776">There still need to be conversations at home</a> where individual family beliefs and values can be discussed. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/parents-your-kids-are-watching-you-sex-education-begins-at-home-157502">Parents, your kids are watching you. Sex education begins at home</a>
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<p>Mandatory consent education in Australia is a huge win. But this significant step is just one of the many needed to educate thoughtful, compassionate, caring humans while improving general well-being and reducing widespread discrimination – as well as the risk and incidence of sexual assault.</p>
<p><em>If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or visit <a href="https://au.reachout.com/articles/sexual-assault">Reach Out</a></em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/177456/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Giselle Natassia Woodley is part of the Australian Research Council's Discovery Project funding scheme (project DP190102435). The views expressed here are those of the authors and not necessarily the Australian government or the ARC.
Giselle is also part of a not-for-profit Relationships and Sexual education advocacy group, Bloom-Ed, whose views are not expressed here.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Carmen Jacques is part of the Australian Research Council's Discovery Project funding scheme (project DP190102435). The views expressed here are those of the authors and not necessarily of the Australian government or the ARC.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kelly Jaunzems is part of the Australian Research Council's Discovery Project funding scheme (project DP190102435). The views expressed here are those of the authors and not necessarily of the Australian government or the ARC.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Lelia Green is part of the Australian Research Council's Discovery Project funding scheme (project DP190102435). The views expressed here are those of the authors and not necessarily of the Australian government or the ARC.</span></em></p>Consent education now is patchy and inconsistent. Many schools focus exclusively on safety, which may come at the cost of the enjoyable benefits of human connection.Giselle Natassia Woodley, Researcher and Phd Candidate, Edith Cowan UniversityCarmen Jacques, Research Officer, Edith Cowan UniversityKelly Jaunzems, Researcher, Lecturer, Edith Cowan UniversityLelia Green, Professor of Communications, Edith Cowan UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.