tag:theconversation.com,2011:/fr/topics/weddings-30744/articles
Weddings – The Conversation
2024-01-18T18:58:47Z
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/220657
2024-01-18T18:58:47Z
2024-01-18T18:58:47Z
A Queensland woman allegedly stole 70 wedding dresses. Here’s why the white gown is worth much more than its price tag
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569474/original/file-20240116-17-v3p6cf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C8%2C5475%2C3639&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/beautiful-bride-wedding-dress-long-train-2320129701">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>For many the wedding gown is the most expensive item of clothing they will ever own, and it has significant emotional and social value.</p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2024/jan/04/runaway-bridal-gowns-alleged-wedding-dress-scammer-charged-with-70-counts-of">recent case</a> of a Queensland woman allegedly scamming brides out of their wedding dresses on the pretext of dry-cleaning no doubt bought distress to their owners and, given the average price of a wedding dress today (<a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/993462/average-wedding-dress-cost-by-state-australia/">A$2,385</a>), 70 cases of wedding dress theft could be lucrative. </p>
<p>The average cost of an Australian wedding is <a href="https://moneysmart.gov.au/family-and-relationships/getting-married">A$36,000</a>. Despite many Australians forgoing a <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/research/facts-and-figures/marriages-australia-2023">religious ceremony</a>, declaring your love in front of friends and family remains an important social ritual – and the dress is often the most important consideration.</p>
<h2>A brief history</h2>
<p>The modern history of the wedding dress in Australia is closely linked to Queen Victoria. Her 1840 dress became the “<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-wedding-dress-from-queen-victoria-to-the-heights-of-fashion-26127">quintessential wedding dress</a>”. </p>
<p>Victoria’s white dress featured an eight-piece bodice with a wide, open neckline with short and puffed off-the-shoulder sleeves and a pointed waistline. The neckline and sleeves were trimmed with lace and the floor-length skirt was full, with forward-facing pleats. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Oil painting of the wedding." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=420&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=420&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=420&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=527&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=527&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569466/original/file-20240116-29-dw5ln2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=527&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Queen Victoria’s gown became the ‘quintessential wedding dress’.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Wedding_of_Victoria_and_Albert#/media/File:George_Hayter_-_The_Marriage_of_Queen_Victoria,_10_February_1840_-_WGA11229.jpg">Wikimedia Commons</a></span>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-wedding-dress-from-queen-victoria-to-the-heights-of-fashion-26127">The wedding dress: from Queen Victoria to the heights of fashion</a>
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<p>Prior to Victoria, the wearing of white signalled the bride was poor and without a dowry. In the 16th and 17th centuries brides would often wear pale green, symbolising fertility.</p>
<p>From the 19th century, white wedding dresses had been worn by wealthy and royal brides, but for royal brides the dresses were often completely covered in silver and gold threads. Victoria rejected the embellishment and did not wear the red ermine <a href="https://fashionhistory.fitnyc.edu/1840-queen-victorias-wedding-dress/">robe of state</a>, wanting to be seen as a wife rather than queen. </p>
<p>Most 19th century brides wore a dress they could <a href="https://fashionhistory.fitnyc.edu/1840-queen-victorias-wedding-dress/">wear again</a> and popular colours were russet, brown, grey or lilac. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A bride" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=878&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=878&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=878&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1103&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1103&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569465/original/file-20240116-19-vvfgym.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1103&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Brides used to simply wear their Sunday best to their wedding, perhaps like this bride from c1925–30.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://find.slv.vic.gov.au/permalink/61SLV_INST/1sev8ar/alma9916686813607636">State Library Victoria</a></span>
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<p>As white gowns became increasingly popular they began to be seen as symbols of <a href="https://daily.jstor.org/a-natural-history-of-the-wedding-dress/">purity and innocence</a> because of the religious association of these colours. </p>
<p>The association of white with innocence in the popular imagination affected the wedding gown decisions of women who were not marrying for the first time. <a href="http://www.literary-liaisons.com/article003.html">Widows remarrying in the Victorian era</a> didn’t wear white and didn’t wear a veil. They might wear pearl or lavender dresses trimmed with ostrich feathers. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=597&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=597&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=597&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=751&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=751&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569473/original/file-20240116-15-rh04ji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=751&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">White dresses became increasingly popular in the 20th century, like on this bride from 1955.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://collections.slsa.sa.gov.au/resource/PRG+1662/1/25/29">State Library of South Australia</a></span>
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<p>Over the 20th century, white wedding dresses became increasingly popular. Brides were no longer wearing their “Sunday best”, and the tradition of buying a unique bridal gown became established. By the turn of the 21st century, historian <a href="https://www.api-network.com/main/pdf/scholars/jas72_bambacas.pdf">Christyana Bambacas</a> found wedding planning had become the reserve of the bride and the white gown had become the central artefact, positioning “the bride as star of this public ritual”. </p>
<p>Australian brides often have highly emotional connections to their wedding gowns. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1354856517721800">Research</a> into discussions on online wedding forums found brides-to-be used phrases such as “my love for my dress grew” and being “in love with” their gowns. The gown represents the bride’s idealised self – even if the event is temporary. </p>
<p>The tradition of keeping the dress a well-kept secret stems from 18th century arranged marriages, when it was believed to be <a href="https://www.elle.com.au/fashion/wedding/wedding-traditions-and-superstitions-meanings-8638/">“unlucky” for the groom to see the brides</a>, lest he pull out of the wedding. The anticipation of the reveal of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poFPiYPxu-M">Kate Middleton’s wedding dress</a>, where even the name of the designers was kept secret, reflects this ritual. </p>
<h2>Something old</h2>
<p>Unlike couture or historical garments, wedding gowns are familiar. They are common to the human experience, and yet unique to each bride.</p>
<p>Wearing your <a href="https://www.insider.com/photos-brides-rewear-mom-grandmother-wedding-dress-2020-3#erica-peterson-wore-her-mothers-gown-from-1981-and-enlisted-the-help-of-a-talented-seamstress-friend-to-update-the-dress-1">mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown</a> is becoming increasingly popular. <a href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a31085338/princess-beatrice-wedding-dress/">Princess Beatrice</a> was married in a gown designed by Norman Hartnell for her grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, in the 1960s. </p>
<p>With just a few adjustments, brides are able to update vintage gowns to give them a modern twist. </p>
<p>Two-thirds of Australian brides <a href="https://style.nine.com.au/brides/what-to-do-with-wedding-dress-australian-exclusive-nine-poll/06d5fc20-27cb-4751-bdbe-097eb7b7b8f8">keep their dress</a>, many in the hope daughters or granddaughters will wear it. This suggests that, despite the increasing number of people choosing to not get married, weddings remain an important cultural ritual. </p>
<p>Some women <a href="https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/celebrity-news/jade-to-be-buried-in-wedding-dress-198112">keep their dress</a> to be buried in. Others donate their wedding dresses to be made into <a href="https://www.angelgownsaustralia.org.au/">Angel gowns</a> to bury stillborn babies, the dress taking on new meaning for grieving families. </p>
<h2>The end of the big wedding</h2>
<p>The <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/research/facts-and-figures/marriages-australia-2023">average age of first marriage</a> in Australia has risen from 23-years-old for men and 20-years-old for women in 1970 to around 30 today. </p>
<p>The current cost-of-living and housing crises has seen couples cut back on their wedding expenditure, with impacts particularly felt by <a href="https://www.news.com.au/finance/business/retail/wedding-industry-impacted-as-australians-cut-back-on-spending/news-story/f7aaab350d5cc5949b1f0f239d271099">wedding gown businesses</a> at the luxury end of the market. </p>
<p>Regardless of rising divorce rates, and generational shift in attitudes to marriage (<a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-05-26/australia-talks-national-survey-children-marriage/100146390">43% of 18-39 year olds</a> believe it is an outdated institution), marriage is considered a <a href="https://culturalatlas.sbs.com.au/australian-culture/australian-culture-family">one-off life event</a>. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=15%2C8%2C834%2C1011&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A bride from the 1930s." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=15%2C8%2C834%2C1011&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=722&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=722&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=722&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=907&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=907&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/569472/original/file-20240116-25-mr2tq4.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=907&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">A wedding is increasingly seen as an outdated institution.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://collections.slsa.sa.gov.au/resource/B+25487">State Library of South Australia</a></span>
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<p>The wedding dress is an indulgence driven by <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1016/j.ausmj.2015.10.009">social norms and emotions</a> where the bride is often balancing tradition with individuality.</p>
<p>While films, fashion, bridal magazines and celebrity weddings continue to perpetuate the fantasy and emotion embedded in the wedding dress, the dress continues to be a poignant part of our social lives. </p>
<p>Of all the clothes we own, the wedding dress is the one most treasured, as a reminder of what it symbolised, its aspirations or as a family heirloom – making its loss even more distressing. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/what-was-the-mantua-how-a-17th-century-gown-transformed-dressmaking-and-ushered-in-financial-freedom-for-women-215153">What was the mantua? How a 17th-century gown transformed dressmaking and ushered in financial freedom for women</a>
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<img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220657/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
The average price of a wedding dress in Australia is A$2,385 – but this is just one reflection of their significant cultural and emotional weight.
Lisa J. Hackett, Lecturer, University of New England
Jo Coghlan, Associate Professor Humanities Arts and Social Sciences, University of New England
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/218174
2023-12-14T13:37:55Z
2023-12-14T13:37:55Z
Nigeria’s flamboyant aso ebi dressing style is popular - but it’s become a financial burden
<p>Aso ebi – “family uniform” – is the Yoruba custom of people dressing alike for social events. The custom is rooted in kinship (ebi), an important aspect of Yoruba social life since precolonial times in what’s now south-west Nigeria. </p>
<p>Words like <em>molebi</em> (kinsmen) and <em>olori ebi</em> (head of the family) point to the importance of kinship in this culture. The saying <em>eni to so ebi e nu, apo iya lo so ko</em> literally translates as “whoever deserts his kinsmen straps on his/her shoulder a satchel of misfortune”. Aso ebi expresses these values visibly: uniform dressing is intended to reinforce unity and fraternity. </p>
<p>Historically, Yoruba kinsmen wore the aso ebi – usually specially chosen fabrics – during celebrations for group identification.</p>
<p>At first, inclusion and participation in uniform clothing for social events was restricted to blood relationship and mutual ancestry. As time went on, belonging to a group through uniform dressing extended beyond family circles.</p>
<p>From the early 20th century, aso ebi became more about the need to communicate <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Aso-Ebi-%3A-The-Dynamics-of-Fashion-and-Cultural-in-Ajani/29cda686a2d9600811366015789dea8f0a24c282?utm_source=direct_link">social worth</a>. My interviews with some elderly people in Ibadan revealed that, during this period, it was referred to as <em>ankoo</em> (uniformity) or <em>egbejoda</em> (group uniform). Blood ties became a less important consideration for participation.</p>
<p>Nowadays, aso ebi is a regular <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/234690994.pdf#page=1">feature</a> at social events like weddings, funerals, birthdays, conferments and political rallies across Nigeria. </p>
<p>As a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=ybH50nYAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&sortby=pubdate">scholar</a> of costume in theatre, I’ve always been fascinated by the aso ebi custom. In theatre, costume helps tell a story, among other functions, and aso ebi is also a costume in the performance of a social event. </p>
<p>I wanted to know more about the modern aso ebi trends. Anecdotal evidence suggested that the practice was becoming something of a burden for some people. My <a href="https://journaljesbs.com/index.php/JESBS/article/view/1041">research</a> bore this out: I found that the financial burden of purchasing aso ebi was prominent among its perceived drawbacks and strengths alike. </p>
<h2>Aso ebi as costume</h2>
<p>In theatre and film, costume transforms actors into characters and depicts setting, culture, age and occupation. It tells the audience something about the character’s social class, economic worth and status in a hierarchy. Costume can project personal characteristics, deliberately or unwittingly. It can help depict relationships in a group.</p>
<p>In daily life, too, clothes give us nonverbal clues about their wearers. They reveal age, mood, sex, culture, social status, religion, occupation, political affiliation and so on. </p>
<p>At social events, participants can be regarded as performers as well as audience members. Wearing aso ebi, participants are able to play premeditated or spontaneous roles.</p>
<h2>Modern trends</h2>
<p>In the last few decades, aso ebi has been <a href="https://www.google.com.ng/books/edition/Aso_Ebi/E84qEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Aso+Ebi:+Dress,+Fashion,+Visual+Culture,+and+Urban+Cosmopolitanism+in+West+Africa&printsec=frontcover">embraced</a> by other ethnic groups in Nigeria and the diaspora. The trend has extended beyond the geographical and social landscape of the Yoruba people. </p>
<p>Part of the reason may be its propensity to add glamour and spectacle to events. But even more importantly, it may be due to its inclusion tendency, since it gives wearers a sense of involvement, seemingly excluding some non-wearers, thereby drawing social Lines at social events. </p>
<p>It is common for guests to wear identical fabrics like wax prints (Ankara), lace, brocade and other materials to events. </p>
<p>Planning and coordinating this wearing of uniforms at events has become quite a business. Usually, a celebrant chooses the fabric, determines the price and monopolises the sale to guests. Often the intention is to make a profit. Guests can’t haggle over the price and are expected to turn out in the fabric for the event, thereby creating the impression of solidarity and support for the celebrant. </p>
<p>Affordability and social integration have become more significant considerations, pushing kinship to the back seat.</p>
<h2>Beyond the glamour, the distress</h2>
<p>Despite the popularity of aso ebi, my <a href="https://journaljesbs.com/index.php/JESBS/article/view/1041">study</a> found that it is causing some distress. </p>
<p>I administered questionnaires to 270 Yoruba adults (135 men and 135 women) in Osun and Oyo states in south-western Nigeria, asking them about the challenges and merits of wearing aso ebi. Participants indicated whether they experienced any of a list of challenges such as cost, competition and issues of personal taste. The list of potential merits included boosting camaraderie and collective sense of purpose, and benefits to the producers of the uniforms.</p>
<p>The results showed that the main problem with aso ebi was the financial burden of having to buy the fabrics continuously. This stems from being obliged to attend social events and the tendency for reciprocity: “I bought your aso ebi, buy mine.” People end up with a large stock of fabrics and are limited in their ability to buy, store and wear their own clothes.</p>
<p>Another challenge is that buyers of aso ebi fabrics don’t have a choice or the option of bargaining, since it is non-negotiable. And the fabrics and uniforms are not always to the individual’s taste.</p>
<p>Participants also felt that aso ebi encouraged unhealthy flamboyant competition.</p>
<p>When they responded to the list of potential merits, they gave equal weight to aso ebi as a booster of social incorporation and cohesion, and as a source of economic value for individuals who make the fabrics.</p>
<p>The practice has been <em>commodified</em> to the extent that cohesion, equality and social egalitarianism may be taking a back seat. Aso ebi is fast becoming a point of dissension, segregating wearers. It has a propensity to create social gulfs, distancing wearers and placing them on different tiers of the same ladder.</p>
<p>However, according to my study findings, the benefits of aso ebi – like comradeship – still outweigh the challenges.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218174/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Susan Olubukola Badeji is affiliated with a non-profit organisation.
Women Forward Innovative Development Initiative WFID. We are based in Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria. Our aim is Women empowerment in order to alleviate poverty.</span></em></p>
Aso ebi - colourful fabrics worn at social events in NIgeria - makes parties glamorous but the cost can also be burdensome.
Susan Olubukola Badeji, Lecturer, Redeemer's University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/212346
2023-10-03T19:05:18Z
2023-10-03T19:05:18Z
Is marriage modern? Anna Kate Blair’s novel poses the question, but doesn’t answer it
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</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Suzana Duljic/Pexels</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Is marriage modern? This is the circuitous premise of Australian writer Anna Kate Blair’s debut novel, <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com.au/books/The-Modern/Anna-Kate-Blair/9781761421242">The Modern</a>, set in contemporary New York and centred on the life, half-loves and near-loves of Sophia, an Australian research fellow at MoMA (the Museum of Modern Art). </p>
<p>Sophia’s fellowship at MoMA is coming to an end. About to turn 30, she is facing future job precarity. In this transitional state, she becomes engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Robert – an academic and avid hiker, who plops a marriage proposal onto her lap, then embarks on a five-month trek through the Appalachian Mountains.</p>
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<p><em>Review: The Modern – Anna Kate Blair (Scribner)</em></p>
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<p>Sophia’s engagement shakes out a constellation of loose questions about potential choices, possibilities and limitations. Her relationships have previously been with women, her queerness suppressed in a longstanding heterosexual relationship that is easy and affirming, but ultimately, the reader feels, taken for granted – not so much by Robert as by Sophia herself. </p>
<p>When Robert departs, Sophia meets the mercurial, filament-like Cara, an unlikely assistant in a little-frequented New York wedding boutique. In her spare time, Cara makes art using photographed wedding-dress remnants. Sophia falls for her. Cara does not reciprocate.</p>
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<span class="caption">Anna Kate Blair’s debut novel explores the ‘life, half-loves and near-loves’ of an Australian at New York’s MoMA.</span>
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<h2>Is marriage modern?</h2>
<p>The question “Is marriage modern?” is less the fulcrum of Sophia’s personal narrative than, increasingly, a perplexing nonsense rhyme, or rhetorical question weighed down by its own glowering question mark. </p>
<p>Is marriage modern? <em>Are clothes modern?</em> Sophia asks. <em>Are houses modern? Children modern? Rats modern?</em></p>
<p>The question feels decidedly oxymoronic. In the context of same-sex marriage, which Blair touches upon, marriage <em>is</em> modern, so long as you don’t drill down to its ideological underpinnings: the history of marriage as property transfer, its requisite reproductive labour, the spectacle of grim-lipped, decades-long resentments sustained under the oath of “til death do us part”. </p>
<p>By what barometer might we gauge “modernity” in marriage? Happiness? Unhappiness? Equality? Freedom to realise the self within the safety of mutuality? </p>
<p>Or is it all, in the end, about <em>the dress</em>? </p>
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<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/can-adultery-be-inherited-kate-legge-investigates-after-the-king-hit-of-her-husbands-affair-which-seems-to-run-in-his-family-197428">Can adultery be inherited? Kate Legge investigates after the 'king hit' of her husband's affair – which seems to run in his family</a>
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<h2>Smacked in the face by a dress</h2>
<p>Like Sophia, the idea of marriage has always repelled me, but then (also like Sophia) one day I found myself <em>hit by a dress</em>. Smacked in the face by it. A flounce-ridden, gorgeously deep-red <a href="https://theconversation.com/wedding-dresses-and-bikini-bodies-20052">wedding dress</a> in a Moonee Ponds wedding boutique window. </p>
<p>For one second, I entertained the idea of a wedding, but only because of that dress. Sophia has similar swooning moments imagining, choosing, thinking about the dress. </p>
<p>She goes dress-shopping with her overly conscientious mother-in-law-to-be; she considers the instances of wedding dresses in art and the emblematic 1954 painting <a href="https://whitney.org/collection/works/1292">Grand Street Brides</a> by abstract expressionist painter <a href="https://www.moma.org/artists/2520">Grace Hartigan</a>: six ghoulishly clad brides outside a wedding shop, a shimmer of white and crimson and green that bodes ill as much as good. </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Grace Hartigan’s six ghoulishly clad brides bode ‘ill as much as good’.</span></figcaption>
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<p>But the phenomenon itself – the overweening presence of the wedding dress in young women’s lives – remains under-explored. Sophia is constantly taking photographs and uploading them to Instagram, but her conjuring of ideas feels like a once-posted, easily forgotten exercise. </p>
<p>It’s as though simply posing questions and thrusting them out into cyberspace is sufficient: the archival evidence of having had a thought or idea about something precluding the need to explore that idea further. </p>
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<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/no-woman-could-paint-the-story-of-art-without-men-corrects-nearly-600-years-of-male-focused-art-criticism-184458">'No woman could paint': The Story of Art Without Men corrects nearly 600 years of male-focused art criticism</a>
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<h2>Modern art ‘at every turn’</h2>
<p>If the novel’s central question is not answered or adequately dissected, questions of modernity in art are more fulsomely, if curatorially, examined. The Modern tosses “modern” artists and art at the reader at every turn, assuming a familiarity with art history on the reader’s part. </p>
<p>This is not a bad thing, of course, but I was glad to have seen photographer <a href="https://www.moma.org/artists/7532">Nan Goldin</a>’s 1980s New York exhibition, <a href="https://nga.gov.au/exhibitions/nan-goldin/">The Ballad of Sexual Dependency</a>, at the National Gallery of Australia recently. It gave me a touchstone for Sophia’s descriptions of these tender, bruising countercultural images. Other works, other artists, skated past me without feeling synchronous with the narrative, or like they expanded it. </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Nan Goldin on The Ballad of Sexual Dependency.</span></figcaption>
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<p>The Modern overflows with ideas: musings on modern art, and on the masculinist orientation of art institutions, in which female curatorial assistants doggedly do the work their male supervisors put their names to. </p>
<p>And musings on the nature of marriage as a “ceremony that [sits] awkwardly between the libidinal and the legal” – a ceremony to which Sophia is curiously drawn, in spite of her rational instinct to repudiate it.</p>
<p>Sophia’s relentlessly self-reflecting narrative is shot through with titbits from the life of Grace Hartigan, her dissertation subject. Grand Street Brides functions as an almost-motif throughout the novel, its Picasso-esque, post-<a href="https://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/cube/hd_cube.htm">cubist</a> awkwardness reflecting Sophia’s own ambivalence about marriage. </p>
<p>Sophia’s curatorial instinct cannot help but see weddings as “huge installations with a performance element”, the wedding dress as a shimmering fabric monument (to be later dyed black and re-used). </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=405&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=405&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=405&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=509&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=509&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548998/original/file-20230919-17-7z704n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=509&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Curator Sophia can’t help but see weddings as ‘huge installations with a performance element’.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Pixabay/Pexels</span></span>
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<h2>Curated, rather than known</h2>
<p>The Modern charts Hartigan’s life – three marriages, three significant relationships, an important friendship with curator and poet <a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/frank-ohara">Frank O’Hara</a> (champion of <a href="https://www.moma.org/artists/4675">Jackson Pollock</a>) – but she remains an under-exploited (or perhaps I should say under-illuminated) throughline in the novel. She is curated rather than known; she’s a collection of iterations. </p>
<p>Perhaps this is Blair’s intention: Hartigan as surface, knowable only through her work, her private self inured to the public gaze. But every character in The Modern feels somewhat like a bit-part: fleeting, insubstantial, or, in Robert’s case, downright wooden. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=917&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=917&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=917&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1152&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1152&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548992/original/file-20230919-27-my42jr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1152&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<p>The only knowable entity is Sophia herself, and even she tumbles and falls in what feels like an “imitation of collapse” rather than the real messy, muddy dissolution of self that might make the reader <em>feel</em> for her.</p>
<p>There are moments of grace and intelligence in this novel: poignant moments, moments that might have been opened further out, or borne interesting fruit – or pods, or leaves. But instead, they funnel into the ongoing introspection of Sophia’s ever-changing insecurities. </p>
<p>“I wonder if I could use Frank O’Hara as a model for a new form of art history, one that acknowledged love,” Sophia says at one point. </p>
<p>Discussing <a href="https://www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/a/abstract-expressionism">abstract expressionism</a>, the style with which Hartigan struggled as a female artist, Sophia says: “It felt essentialist, and just wrong, to say that strength and energy belonged to men.” I wanted to clutch onto these observations, and see them take flight, play out in the narrative.</p>
<p>Blair is extremely good at asking pertinent, urgent questions. But they remain loose and untethered: helium balloons that, once hoisted, float swiftly out of sight.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/212346/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Edwina Preston has received funding from Australia Council for the Arts and Creative Victoria. She currently works for the Australian Education Union</span></em></p>
The Modern, a debut novel centred on an Australian researcher at New York’s MoMA, muses on modern art and relationships – riffing off MoMA artists like Grace Hartigan and Nan Goldin.
Edwina Preston, PhD Candidate, The University of Melbourne
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/207953
2023-07-27T12:26:11Z
2023-07-27T12:26:11Z
Just about anybody in America can officiate a wedding, thanks to the internet – and one determined preacher
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/539099/original/file-20230724-12442-v5wcun.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C2121%2C1409&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Who did the honors: clergy, a justice of the peace or just a friend? More and more weddings are performed by someone ordained online.
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/happy-groom-piggybacking-bride-in-vineyard-royalty-free-image/1445187947?phrase=wedding&adppopup=true">Klaus Vedfelt/DigitalVision via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Wedding season is here again, and my calendar is filling up – not just as a guest.</p>
<p>Over the past 15 years, I have officiated over 20 weddings for friends and family, plus nearly 200 more as a part-time professional wedding officiant. These weddings have ranged from simple elopements to fancy ceremonies before hundreds of guests. They have taken place at farms, beaches, mountaintops, hotels, wineries and warehouses – but never at a church. They have been secular, spiritual, religious and interfaith.</p>
<p>I became a nominal minister through the website of <a href="https://www.ulc.org/">the Universal Life Church</a>, a nondenominational church that offers free, lifelong ordination to anyone, regardless of their beliefs. <a href="https://www.universalchurch.org/about-us#:%7E:text=Since%20our%20founding%2C%20we%20have,regardless%20of%20religion%20or%20background.">More than 20 million people</a> have been ordained so far. Just type in your name, email and mailing address and you will receive confirmation of your new status as a clergyperson, able to perform any legal marriage. You can adopt any religious title you please or none at all.</p>
<p>In the U.S., many, if not most, weddings today are officiated <a href="https://www.npr.org/2010/06/27/126426016/more-couples-have-friends-perform-wedding">by a friend</a> or <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/12/style/noticed-need-a-minister-how-about-your-brother.html">relative of the couple</a> rather than a traditional clergyperson or civil official authorized to perform the ceremony. According to the wedding planning website The Knot, 51% of couples in 2020 <a href="https://apnews.com/article/lifestyle-religion-weddings-4fcbe095c77babeb79fc2464d5af0574">had a friend or family member officiate their wedding</a>, up from 37% in 2015. Though there are multiple ways for a layperson to get ordained, the <a href="https://www.ulc.org/">Universal Life Church</a> is most popular.</p>
<p>When two friends whom I had introduced to each other asked me to officiate their wedding back in 2008, I was touched and honored. Each experience of performing a wedding for friends or family has moved me deeply. Since I’m <a href="https://www.cappscenter.ucsb.edu/people/dusty-hoesly">a scholar of religion in contemporary America</a>, they also piqued my interest in what <a href="https://www.livescience.com/56094-friends-family-officiate-weddings.html">this trend</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110458657-013">says about religion and wedding rituals today</a> – questions that sparked <a href="https://doi.org/10.5334/snr.be">my subsequent research on the ULC</a>. </p>
<h2>Mail-order ministry</h2>
<p>The Universal Life Church was founded in 1959 in Modesto, California, by <a href="http://www.ulchq.com/founder.htm">Kirby J. Hensley</a>, an itinerant minister from North Carolina who could not read or write yet created Baptist and Pentecostal congregations across America.</p>
<p>Hensley’s religious views <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/1036791669?oclcNum=1036791669">were hard to categorize</a>, and the congregations that he formed kicked him out when disagreements arose. So he wanted to found a church where anyone could believe, teach and practice whatever they wanted, free of constraints imposed by religious or government authorities. The ULC’s only doctrine is <a href="https://store.ulc.net/aboutus.asp">to “do that which is right</a>,” which each person can define for themselves.</p>
<p>Hensley offered free mail-order ordinations and soon began mass ordinations at spiritual conventions and college campuses, where he was a popular speaker. Classified ads in the magazines Rolling Stone and Fate helped grow the church’s popularity, as did a flurry of news reports.</p>
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<span class="caption">The Rev. Kirby Hensley, photographed in 1986.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/the-rev-kirby-hensley-has-ordained-more-than-13-million-news-photo/837081604?adppopup=true">Denver Post via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>Most people got ordained as a lark: after all, why not? Others felt a spiritual calling. Ordination also appealed to young men hoping that a ministerial credential could help them <a href="https://wrldrels.org/2016/10/08/universal-life-church/">avoid the Vietnam War draft</a>. Some became ministers, created their own churches chartered under the ULC and claimed <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1981/01/20/us/irs-is-challenging-mail-order-pastors.html">income and property tax exemptions</a>. In 1995, the church began offering ordination online. </p>
<p>After Hensley’s death in 1999, his wife, Lida, took over. Since her death in 2006, their son Andre <a href="https://amp.modbee.com/living/article3118424.html">has led the church</a>, which <a href="https://www.ulchq.com/">still meets weekly</a> in a church building in Modesto, California. </p>
<p>However, most people <a href="https://getordained.org/">seeking ordination</a> online today wind up using an offshoot of the Universal Life Church, not <a href="https://www.ulchq.com/">the original website</a>. </p>
<p>In 2006, <a href="https://www.themonastery.org/">the Universal Life Church Monastery</a> based in Seattle <a href="https://www.modbee.com/living/article3118424.html">split off from the rest of the ULC</a> under the leadership of minister George Freeman. The ULC Monastery’s websites now dominate the online ordination business, claiming to receive <a href="https://www.marketplace.org/2015/02/05/how-online-minister-ordination-mills-work-or-dont/">1,000 requests each day</a>.</p>
<h2>My wedding, my way</h2>
<p>The ULC is most famous for ordaining people to officiate weddings for friends and relatives. Couples want unique, <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/04/more-couples-having-friends-officiate-their-weddings/586750/">customized ceremonies</a> that reflect their values and beliefs. They want their weddings performed <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/13/fashion/weddings/a-word-from-your-officiant-for-better-or-worse.html">by someone they know</a>, trust and care about and who will deliver a ceremony tailored to them. Typically, they want a nonreligious wedding.</p>
<p>These desires reflect two key trends in the wedding industry and in American religion: <a href="https://www.corpmagazine.com/features/cover-stories/modern-weddings-are-more-personalized-than-ever-say-bridal-consultants/">personalization</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/684202">secularization</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A woman in a teal dress uses a silver cord to bind the hands of a person in a white dress and a person in a blue suit, who face each other." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/539412/original/file-20230726-29-r5g1qw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Tying the knot – literally.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/traditional-handfasting-ceremony-during-the-wedding-royalty-free-image/1438085024?phrase=wedding+vows&adppopup=true">Wirestock/iStock via Getty Images Plus</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>With 29% of Americans reporting <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2021/12/14/about-three-in-ten-u-s-adults-are-now-religiously-unaffiliated/">no religious affiliation</a>, <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2012/10/09/nones-on-the-rise/">up from 7% in the 1990s</a>, fewer couples identify with any religion, and far fewer belong to a congregation.</p>
<p>Most of these couples want a secular or spiritual officiant who reflects their beliefs and who will help them tailor the ceremony to their interests and values. And while these couples could have secular civil ceremonies at city hall, those are usually not personalized and the officiant is a stranger.</p>
<p>Most of the couples who use an online-ordained officiant say they and their weddings are nonreligious. However, they use the ULC’s religious status to ensure the legal validity of their marriages, showing how blurry <a href="https://doi.org/10.5334/snr.be">the line between secular and religious</a> can be in America today.</p>
<p>The ULC has transformed not only how people get married, but also who can get married. The church has authorized same-sex weddings since at least 1971, when Kirby Hensley <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/1036791669?oclcNum=1036791669">presided over a wedding of two women</a>. According to my research, Jim Obergefell, the lead plaintiff in the <a href="https://www.oyez.org/cases/2014/14-556">2015 Supreme Court</a> case that <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/a-day-in-court-for-jim-obergefell-the-face-of-the-historic-gay-marriage-case/2015/04/28/99a00bdc-eda5-11e4-8666-a1d756d0218e_story.html">legalized same-sex marriage nationally</a>, was <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/how-jim-obergefell-became-the-face-of-the-supreme-court-gay-marriage-case/2015/04/06/3740433c-d958-11e4-b3f2-607bd612aeac_story.html">married</a> to his late partner John Arthur by Arthur’s aunt, who was ordained by the ULC for the occasion.</p>
<p>The church’s <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20141219074338/http:/kernelmag.dailydot.com/issue-titles/religion/11097/universal-life-church-ordained/">six-decade history</a> reflects major, long-term transformations in American society. While the ULC often serves as a religion of convenience, it has allowed many spiritual and secular people to practice what is sacred to them.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/207953/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dusty Hoesly does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
A professor who has researched the Universal Life Church unpacks why many couples now prefer to hand-pick loved ones to perform their ceremonies.
Dusty Hoesly, Postdoctoral Researcher in Religious Studies, University of California, Santa Barbara
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/205983
2023-06-11T11:22:20Z
2023-06-11T11:22:20Z
How to avoid toxic perfectionism when planning a wedding
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/530285/original/file-20230606-27-ajm67a.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=252%2C18%2C5385%2C3872&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Focusing on having a special day rather than a perfect day can help alleviate some of the pressure people feel when planning a wedding.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Pexels/Emma Bauso)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>We live in the age of perfection. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868318814973">Perfectionism is a personality trait that involves demanding a flawless standard of performance and harshly evaluating ourselves and others.</a> Expectations are so high that something is either flawless or worthless. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138">Perfectionism rates steadily increased over recent decades</a>, and our culture is now obsessed: the perfect body, job, partner, vacation … the perfect life. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868318814973">We believe others demand more of us and we demand more of others and ourselves</a>. </p>
<p>Nowhere is this more obvious than weddings.</p>
<p>After <a href="https://www.dal.ca/faculty/science/psychology_neuroscience/faculty-staff/our-faculty/simon-sherry.html">25 years researching this topic (and more than 100 publications)</a>, I take particular interest in cultural trends that encourage perfectionism — and weddings take the cake.</p>
<h2>Pursuing perfection</h2>
<p>Most weddings have some common elements: two people, often dressed in some combination of white dress and/or nice suit, exchange vows and rings. But now, in the age of social media and the wedding industry, the wedding must have an <em><em>esthetic</em></em>. The reception must be themed, the ceremony colour co-ordinated, and above all: it. must. be. perfect. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.pinterest.ca/today/best/2023s-top-wedding-trends/110204/">Pinterest inspiration boards</a> set the tone and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/perfectwedding/">Instagram photos</a> set the standard. Perfection is the tale and social media the teller. Where’s the romance?</p>
<p><div data-react-class="InstagramEmbed" data-react-props="{"url":"https://www.instagram.com/p/CseTY3Mu2z2","accessToken":"127105130696839|b4b75090c9688d81dfd245afe6052f20"}"></div></p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-18582-8_10">Many perfectionists are sensitive to rank, status and dominance in social groups, which drives envy, jealousy and a desire to best others and turns everything into a competition</a>. Weddings are a major milestone that change or reinforce social status; as such, people seek perfection to ridiculous extremes. Minute details are fussed over to the exclusion of what should really matter: the love that brought everyone together in the first place.</p>
<p>How can you have a beautiful, romantic, special day without falling into the trap of relentlessly pursuing perfection? Well, you forget perfection and focus on people. </p>
<h2>Pressure from other people</h2>
<p>There is immense pressure to plan a party that pleases staid family members and adventurous friends alike. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456">Socially prescribed perfectionism is the belief that society, family and friends have unrealistic expectations of perfection of you</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A young woman and an older woman sitting facing away from each other, looking angry" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531027/original/file-20230608-23-et4qwg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">There is immense pressure to plan an event that will please everyone.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>If your mother is in tears because you’re questioning a religious ceremony, ask yourself these three things: </p>
<ol>
<li><p><strong>What are our values?</strong> <a href="https://www.visualcapitalist.com/most-influential-values/">Figure out what you value</a> and translate those values into actions. If you and your partner want to interact with each guest, invite only your nearest and dearest. If you’re environmentally conscious, swap disposable decorations for in-season florals. Are you animal lovers? Ask guests to donate to your choice of charity instead of buying a gift. If you make your wedding a reflection of your values, then you’re less likely to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jbusres.2022.113341">view it as a “failure” if it doesn’t conform to others’ expectations, as perfectionists often do</a>. </p></li>
<li><p><strong>What do we want?</strong> Striving for perfection is costly. There is pressure to spend on the perfect rings, fancy paper invitations, a tropical honeymoon and more. The wedding industry capitalizes on these expectations, turning weddings into major investments <a href="https://www.moneysense.ca/spend/average-wedding-cost-canada/">costing an average of $22,000 to $30,000</a>. These “ideals” aren’t feasible for every budget. These are wants, not needs, so allocate your funds where <em>you</em> want them to go. A courthouse wedding, grocery store flowers and a potluck dinner with friends can be just as special. <a href="https://thelostconnections.com/">Perfectionists can wrap their esteem and identity up in <em>things</em>, until “junk values” like consumerism dominate</a>. The point is to celebrate, not spend money pleasing others, so don’t feel pressured to go into debt. </p></li>
<li><p><strong>How do we grow?</strong> Too often, couples fall into <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.2.360">the trap of “destiny.”</a> The problem with this “perfect match” mindset is it’s too easy to say “I guess it wasn’t meant to be” when things get tough. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-022-14802-5">Disney movies and romance novels entrenched fairy-tale endings into popular culture</a>, but life doesn’t end with a wedding. Both during and after the wedding, you’ll face challenges and disagreements. If you focus on growing together as you plan your wedding and beyond, you’re less likely to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01172967">catastrophize — as many perfectionists do — when things (or your partner) aren’t perfect</a>. </p></li>
</ol>
<h2>Pressure you put on others</h2>
<p>You agonize over orchestrating the perfect day, and then your sister’s baby bawls during the ceremony and Uncle Johnny gets drunk and makes rude jokes during the reception. When stakes seem high, you can end up <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456">demanding perfection from others, known as other-oriented perfectionism</a>. <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-21407-009">If they fail to be perfect, that’s when bridezillas, groomzillas or monsters-in-law can emerge</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A wedding cake that has fallen to the floor" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/531028/original/file-20230608-16844-zx6m64.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">If you are excessively concerned with making mistakes, then avoiding them monopolizes the event.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>When something inevitably goes wrong, remember these three things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p><strong>Right partner versus right wedding</strong>. Weddings are meant to celebrate love. At the end of the day, you go home with your new spouse regardless of whether the wedding meets your expectations. This is just one day of the rest of your lives, so what’s more important? Having the right wedding or having and being the right partner? Focusing on each other, instead of the event, means <a href="https://www.proquest.com/docview/1292258894">others’ behaviour won’t feel world-ending</a> because it’s not affecting your relationship. </p></li>
<li><p><strong>Focus on relationships</strong>. You’ve invited your guests to share in a special moment in your life. Is it then more important that the wedding party looks fit for <em>Vogue</em> or that you have your best friends to support you? <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-18582-8_10">Perfectionists don’t play nicely with others because they’re more concerned with others’ performance than the people themselves</a>. For example, a perfectionist might care more about whether their mother’s speech evokes the “right” reactions from the crowd than how she’s feeling about this milestone in your life. If you prioritize your loved ones, the day becomes about connecting with them rather than ensuring they’re playing their part perfectly.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>Mistakes are normal</strong>. Everyone makes mistakes. Your dad will trip on your train. Your groomsman will make an awkward speech. Your dinner will be late. It happens. If you, like <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01172967">perfectionists, are excessively concerned with making mistakes</a>, then avoiding them monopolizes the event. Breathe and laugh it off. </p></li>
</ol>
<h2>Pressure you put on yourself</h2>
<p>There can be a lot of pressure to <a href="https://www.brides.com/gallery/wedding-beauty-best-tips">look perfect on your wedding day</a>. It’s common for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2007.11.001">brides to diet</a>, invest in teeth whitening and skin-care regimes before their wedding and hire makeup artists for the event. <a href="https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/how-get-shape-wedding-according-how-much-time-you-have">Grooms may feel</a> pressure <a href="https://www.gq.com/story/wedding-workout-plan">to get fitter</a>. </p>
<p>This feeds <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.6.1303">self-oriented perfectionism (demanding perfection of oneself) and perfectionistic self-presentation (presenting yourself as perfect and hiding or denying flaws)</a>. </p>
<p>It can be hard to feel confident if you don’t think you meet these expectations, but try to keep these three things in mind:</p>
<ol>
<li><p><strong>Perfection is a myth</strong>. No one, and nothing, is perfect. There will undoubtedly be “flaws” somewhere. Maybe you stress-sweat. Maybe you stutter during your vows. These are the things you remember fondly. It’s often the “imperfections” that make your memories — and your wedding — perfect. Reminding yourself that perfection is an unrealistic, and even undesirable, standard can keep you from striving for it.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>It’s not a competition</strong>. You and the couple down the street have very different interests, relationships and values. Their elaborate, 300-guest wedding may have been right for them. They may not understand your desire to have an intimate 50-attendee affair instead, but that doesn’t matter. Both weddings are uniquely beautiful. You want to make memories, not a statement. Despite what perfectionistic thinking might tell you, your wedding isn’t a failure and this isn’t a competition.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>You are loved</strong>. You might not look like the model did in your gown or suit. That’s OK. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.1.234">Perfectionists are prone to feelings of failure, guilt, shame and low self-esteem because of their harsh self-evaluations and criticisms</a>. However, your partner fell in love with you <em>with</em> the freckles and goofy laugh. You may become more fit or afford a more flattering outfit in the years to come, but that shouldn’t ruin your enjoyment of this moment. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>It is, after all, your <em>special</em> day, not your <em>perfect</em> day.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205983/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Simon Sherry receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. He also owns CRUX Psychology, a private practice in psychology.</span></em></p>
Weddings have become increasingly curated: everything from the shoes to the table runners are perfectly themed and colour-co-ordinated. It is emblematic of our cultural obsession with perfection.
Simon Sherry, Clinical Psychologist and Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Dalhousie University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/202882
2023-05-16T16:36:36Z
2023-05-16T16:36:36Z
‘It felt like how I looked was part of the decoration’: how getting wed affects women’s body image
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/525424/original/file-20230510-29-j4rlv9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C22%2C7348%2C4880&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/bride-looks-mirror-716099155">annie_zhak/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Weddings are supposed to be joyful, but this joy can be accompanied by a lot of stress. Alongside choosing the menu, flowers and decorations and sorting the table plan, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144508000570?via%3Dihub">body image</a> – how we think and feel about the way we look – can cause worries, too. </p>
<p>We could not identify any previous research that had formally looked at how brides in the UK felt about their body image. To address this, and fill the gap in our knowledge, <a href="https://www.magonlinelibrary.com/doi/abs/10.12968/joan.2023.12.3.116">our research</a> explored how brides felt about their body image in the run-up to their wedding. We focused in particular on any appearance concerns that they had and how these made them feel – from the planning stage right up to the big day itself. </p>
<p>One hundred and thirty-four women took part in either an <a href="https://www.aestheticnursing.co.uk/content/clinical/a-qualitative-exploration-of-pre-wedding-body-image-concerns-in-uk-brides">interview or an online survey</a>. They were a mix of women planning their weddings and those who had been married in the past three years. Many women experienced feelings of pressure and expectation to look a certain way on their wedding day. </p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="Quarter life, a series by The Conversation" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption"></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><em><strong><a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/topics/quarter-life-117947?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">This article is part of Quarter Life</a></strong>, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties. From the challenges of beginning a career and taking care of our mental health, to the excitement of starting a family, adopting a pet or just making friends as an adult. The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.</em></p>
<p><em>You may be interested in:</em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/love-island-ditches-fast-fashion-how-reality-celebrities-influence-young-shoppers-habits-183771">Love Island ditches fast fashion: how reality celebrities influence young shoppers’ habits</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-make-your-clothes-last-longer-its-good-for-your-bank-account-and-the-environment-too-201823">How to make your clothes last longer – it’s good for your bank account and the environment too</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/its-not-just-weddings-how-celebrating-small-wins-and-unconventional-milestones-can-bring-joy-197755">It’s not just weddings – how celebrating small wins and unconventional milestones can bring joy</a></em></p>
<hr>
<p>They felt that this pressure came from various sources, including family and friends. They told us that others’ perceptions of how they looked affected their own feelings, both on the wedding day and afterwards. One said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>If you know other people think you look nice then you have more confidence.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Another told us: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I didn’t want to feel ashamed of my appearance. I knew there would be a lot of attention and comments on it. Didn’t want to feel like I’d let people down…there were lots of questions about my appearance and dresses mainly from other women. It felt like how I looked was part of the ‘decoration’ in the same way the table settings and order of service was.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Many of the women we spoke to felt the need to adhere to these pressures through fear of judgment and the expectation that all brides should look beautiful. </p>
<h2>Looking back</h2>
<p>The knowledge that wedding photographs and videos would provide permanent visual evidence of how they looked added to body image pressures. One said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I wanted to look back at the photographs and feel 100% comfortable with what I saw. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>The pressure felt by the women we spoke to also stemmed from the bridal industry, which perpetuates norms and assumptions about how brides should look. One woman, for example, talked about a bad experience she had in a bridalwear shop:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I felt the ladies in the dress shop were quite judgemental, saying I needed to eat better and basically lose weight, so I felt very negative towards me. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Nearly 70% of the women we spoke to who were planning their weddings intended to lose weight in preparation for their wedding day. The pressure to lose weight had a significant effect on their feelings and emotions. One said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I’m really worried that preparing my weight for my wedding will re-trigger my anorexia and I don’t think people talk about the unnecessary pressure for brides and grooms to lose weight. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Some of the women reported going to extreme measures to achieve their weight-loss goals, including surgery. One had a <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/weight-loss-surgery/">gastric band</a> fitted in the run-up to the wedding: this is a band around the stomach that limits its expansion, leading to feeling full sooner. Another had a <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cosmetic-procedures/cosmetic-surgery/tummy-tuck/">tummy tuck</a> – cosmetic surgery to improve the shape of the stomach area.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="View through camera of couple on wedding day" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=295&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=295&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=295&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=371&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=371&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/525460/original/file-20230510-9228-qfop3t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=371&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Women we spoke to talked about the impact of having a permanent record of how they looked on their wedding day.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cropped-hand-photographer-holding-camera-against-674390986">vectorfusionart/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Among the women we spoke to who were already married, only 27% had reached the weight they wanted to for their wedding. One said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I was distressed when I realised I wouldn’t achieve this weight. I then felt fine approaching the day itself. However, I felt embarrassed after seeing photos of me and regretted getting married at my weight.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Our findings back up what other researchers have found in countries outside of the UK, such as in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144508000570">Australia</a> and the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1471015308000561">US</a>. This research has drawn attention to the powerful pressures related to wedding appearance and the expectation of how women should look when getting married. </p>
<p>If you are getting married, then it is completely natural for you to want to look your best, but prioritise your own wellbeing, too. </p>
<p>If one of your friends or family members is getting married, or if you work in the wedding industry, be conscious of what you are saying to the brides in your life. Make sure you are not inadvertently adding any pressures or expectations to them by commenting on their appearance during what can already be a stressful time. Focus on the joy and connection that is the real heart of a wedding.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202882/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Nearly 70% of the women we spoke to who were planning their weddings intended to lose weight in preparation for their wedding day.
Alison Owen, Lecturer in Health Psychology, Staffordshire University
Jennifer Taylor, Senior Lecturer in Qualitative Psychological Research Methods, Staffordshire University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/204215
2023-05-05T16:24:09Z
2023-05-05T16:24:09Z
Five reasons you should consider renting your outfits this wedding season
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/524459/original/file-20230504-29-s0dwy3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=53%2C8%2C6000%2C3979&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">We tend to wear our wedding outfits only a handful a times.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/candid-shot-two-female-lesbian-lgbt-2044763174">Supamotionstock.com/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Wedding season is upon us and if you’ve received an invite, you’ll no doubt be having the usual thoughts of what to wear. But the outfits we buy for special occasions often end up hanging in our wardrobes gathering dust and <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2071-1050/12/15/6219#B10-sustainability-12-06219">becoming unfashionable</a>.</p>
<p>A 2019 <a href="https://www.barnardos.org.uk/news/our-news/barnardos-calls-people-think-pre-loved-buying-new-clothes">survey</a>, which was commissioned by UK children’s charity Barnado’s, revealed that 10 million wedding outfits would be bought that year with the expectation that they will be worn just once. This can be costly. In the same survey, Britons reported spending an average of almost £80 on a wedding outfit. </p>
<p>But it’s not just the strain on our finances that can really start to mount up. As an industry, fashion has a huge environmental cost. The carbon footprint of a <a href="https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201719/cmselect/cmenvaud/1952/report-files/195206.htm">polyester shirt</a>, for example, is equivalent to 5.5kg of CO₂ on average, while that of a <a href="https://www.carbonfact.com/blog/dress#-22-kg-co2-equivalent-kgco2e-note">dress</a> and a <a href="https://howbadarebananas.com/">pair of leather shoes</a> is 22kg and 15kg respectively. </p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="Quarter life, a series by The Conversation" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=600&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/451343/original/file-20220310-13-1bj6csd.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption"></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><em><strong><a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/topics/quarter-life-117947?utm_source=TCUK&utm_medium=linkback&utm_campaign=UK+YP2022&utm_content=InArticleTop">This article is part of Quarter Life</a></strong>, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties. From the challenges of beginning a career and taking care of our mental health, to the excitement of starting a family, adopting a pet or just making friends as an adult. The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.</em></p>
<p><em>You may be interested in:</em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/love-island-ditches-fast-fashion-how-reality-celebrities-influence-young-shoppers-habits-183771">Love Island ditches fast fashion: how reality celebrities influence young shoppers’ habits</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-make-your-clothes-last-longer-its-good-for-your-bank-account-and-the-environment-too-201823">How to make your clothes last longer – it’s good for your bank account and the environment too</a></em></p>
<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/its-not-just-weddings-how-celebrating-small-wins-and-unconventional-milestones-can-bring-joy-197755">It’s not just weddings – how celebrating small wins and unconventional milestones can bring joy</a></em></p>
<hr>
<p>Maybe instead of buying something new, you might consider something borrowed this wedding season. </p>
<p>Rental fashion is becoming a big business. Fashion rental companies such as <a href="https://www.mywardrobehq.com/">My Wardrobe HQ</a> and <a href="https://www.hurrcollective.com/">Hurr</a> in the UK and <a href="https://www.renttherunway.com/">Rent the Runway</a> in the US already allow customers to rent and return outfits. The global rental clothing market is expected to reach a value of <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/1195613/rental-apparel-market-revenue-worldwide/">£7.5 billion by 2026</a>.</p>
<p>So, here are five reasons why you might consider renting your outfit for this year’s weddings.</p>
<h2>1. Reduce your environmental footprint</h2>
<p>Across the world, people are buying more clothes. But <a href="https://emf.thirdlight.com/file/24/uiwtaHvud8YIG_uiSTauTlJH74/A%20New%20Textiles%20Economy%3A%20Redesigning%20fashion%E2%80%99s%20future.pdf">the number of times</a> we wear each item is falling. This is clearly an issue. The materials, manufacturing, transportation, use and disposal of our clothes all carry an environmental cost. Every second, the equivalent of a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352550921001603">rubbish truck full of clothes</a> is either buried in landfill or burnt. </p>
<p>Renting an outfit instead means it can be worn <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kirsi-Laitala/publication/352993732_Environmental_improvement_by_prolonging_clothing_use_period/links/60e2df23299bf1ea9ee13411/Environmental-improvement-by-prolonging-clothing-use-period.pdf">many times by different people</a>, rather than by one person just once or twice. A dress rented from Rent the Runway, for example, goes out to customers <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/3036876/inside-rent-the-runways-secret-dry-cleaning-empire">30 times</a> on average before being sold. </p>
<p>But it’s worth considering that rental clothing has several hidden environmental costs too. Every time a rental garment is returned, it will likely be dry cleaned. The process of dry cleaning is <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2021/jul/06/renting-clothes-is-less-green-than-throwing-them-away">energy intensive</a> and the chemical solvents used can <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301479716305151">contaminate soil and water sources</a>.</p>
<p>Rented clothing must also be <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0959652617312982">transported to and from your home</a> and will come in packaging. This raises further concerns about its true environmental impact. </p>
<p>Despite this, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666784323000049#sec4">research</a> has found that rental clothing is still the greener option for formal wear (like the maxi dress you might wear to a wedding). When rented, the number of times these clothes are worn increases by so much that the greenhouse gas emissions associated with each wear is greatly reduced. </p>
<p>Some rental clothing services are also taking steps to improve the circularity of their operations by using <a href="https://www.johnlewis.com/content/tried-and-tested/john-lewis-fashion-rental">reusable packaging</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A landfill site." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524472/original/file-20230504-13354-xpkgjl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Every second, the equivalent of a rubbish truck full of clothes is either buried in landfill or burnt.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/work-special-equipment-pumping-range-bulldozers-1910534770">NZ3/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>2. Save money</h2>
<p>It’s not just lowering your environmental footprint that might appeal to you. By renting you can access a range of outfits that ordinarily you may be <a href="https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/designer-clothes-rental/">priced out of buying outright</a>. </p>
<p>Occasion wear can be pricey, so renting is a great option if you are on a budget. At UK department store John Lewis, for example, a dress that would cost £95 to buy <a href="https://johnlewisfashionrental.com/items/puff-sleeve-midi-dress">can be rented</a> for as little as £19. You can’t keep it, but if it was just going to gather dust in your wardrobe after being worn then renting the outfit may save you money that can be spent elsewhere.</p>
<h2>3. Mix it up</h2>
<p>If you have a lot of events this season, the <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/the-end-of-wear-it-once-culture-instagram">social pressure</a> of not wanting to wear the same thing again and again can mount up. In the aforementioned <a href="https://www.barnardos.org.uk/news/our-news/barnardos-calls-people-think-pre-loved-buying-new-clothes">survey</a>, one-quarter of Britons reported that they would feel embarrassed wearing an outfit to a special occasion more than once. </p>
<p>For these people, renting is one way of wearing different outfits without having to buy each one.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Woman near her wardrobe with her hands on her head." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/524468/original/file-20230504-23-8da8bi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Many people are reluctant to wear an outfit to a special occasion more than once.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/woman-near-her-open-home-wardrobe-2255878655">Maria Surtu/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>4. Try something ‘new’</h2>
<p>We are all becoming increasingly aware of the environmental impact of our clothing habits. But <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/ijcs.12540">boredom with our clothes</a> can still seep in. So, for those who love fashion and find it hard to resist the <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281065940_The_Desire_for_the_New_Its_Nature_and_Social_Location_as_Presented_in_Theories_of_Fashion_and_Modern_Consumerism">desire to buy something new</a>, renting can still give you that thrill of opening the box and seeing a new outfit. And better still, this thrill isn’t accompanied with the guilt of then barely ever wearing the item once it has been unboxed.</p>
<h2>5. Free up wardrobe space</h2>
<p>It’s all too common to have that section in your wardrobe for formal clothing that, apart from a couple of weddings and maybe a Christmas party, barely sees the light of day. When you rent clothes, you don’t have the hassle of washing and ironing the worn clothes. And by sending them back, you can save some precious wardrobe space. </p>
<p>Renting your outfits this wedding season – and beyond – may not be enough to cut the clothing industry’s staggering environmental footprint completely. If eco-choices are top on your agenda, then consider embracing what you already have in your wardrobe (make <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315099620-21/fashion-sustainability-alison-gwilt">alterations or repairs</a> if you have to), buying secondhand or borrowing from friends and family. </p>
<p>But renting your outfits does have some great personal benefits. And if you’re the sort of person who will always buy something new (and perhaps not wear it again), then renting something special this season might be a good idea.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/204215/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Amber Martin-Woodhead does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
If you’re going to a wedding this summer, you should consider renting your outfit.
Amber Martin-Woodhead, Assistant Professor in Human Geography, Coventry University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/187584
2022-09-09T12:34:56Z
2022-09-09T12:34:56Z
Supreme Court to revisit LGBTQ rights – this time with a wedding website designer, not a baker
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/483333/original/file-20220907-9395-6xdmsq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=22%2C6%2C2087%2C1400&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Same-sex wedding cakes wound up at the Supreme Court – now, it's wedding websites' turn.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/close-up-of-gay-men-holding-hands-in-dark-royalty-free-image/675593111?adppopup=true">S_nke Bullerdiek/EyeEm via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>A simmering, difficult, and timely question returns to the Supreme Court on December 5, 2022: What happens when freedom of speech and civil rights collide?</p>
<p>The court took up similar questions four years ago in the famous “<a href="https://theconversation.com/why-the-supreme-courts-gay-wedding-cake-ruling-wont-resolve-religious-freedom-issues-97759">gay wedding cake” case</a>, <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/17pdf/16-111_j4el.pdf">Masterpiece Cakeshop, Ltd. v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission</a>, about a baker who refused to provide services for a same-sex couple based on his religious beliefs. The justices ruled in his favor, but did so on narrow grounds, sidestepping the direct constitutional questions over freedom of religion and free speech.</p>
<p>Now, another case from Colorado about free speech and same-sex marriage has made its way to the court: <a href="https://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/303-creative-llc-v-elenis/">303 Creative v. Elenis</a>. As <a href="https://udayton.edu/directory/education/eda/russo_charles.php">a professor of law and education</a> who pays particular attention to First Amendment issues, I see the case highlighting tension between two competing fundamental interests – interests that seem to clash routinely in 21st-century America.</p>
<p>On Aug. 30, 2022, for example, another <a href="https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2022/08/31/federal-court-rules-chelsey-nelson-photography-vs-louisville-fairness-ordinance/65465495007/">similar case was decided</a>, this time in Kentucky. A <a href="https://cases.justia.com/federal/district-courts/kentucky/kywdce/3:2019cv00851/114724/130/0.pdf?ts=1661949564&lctg=19997310">federal trial court</a> ruled in favor of a Louisville wedding photographer who sued over the city’s “Fairness Ordinance,” which prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. She argued that the law violated her religious beliefs and right to free speech, and the court agreed, explaining that “the government may not force singers or writers or photographers to articulate messages they don’t support.” </p>
<h2>Freedom to speak – or stay silent</h2>
<p>Graphic artist Lorie Smith is the founder and owner of a studio called <a href="https://303creative.com/about/">303 Creative</a>. According to <a href="https://cases.justia.com/federal/appellate-courts/ca10/19-1413/19-1413-2021-07-26.pdf?ts=1627336853">court documents</a>, Smith is generally willing to serve LGBTQ clients. However, she intends to begin designing wedding websites and is unwilling to create them for same-sex couples, saying it would go against her Christian beliefs.</p>
<p>Under <a href="https://ccrd.colorado.gov/regulatory-information">Colorado’s Anti-Discrimination Act</a>, though, it is discriminatory and illegal to refuse services to someone based on “disability, race, creed, color, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, or ancestry.”</p>
<p>In 2016, Smith <a href="https://www.denverpost.com/2016/09/21/colorado-lawsuit-says-law-promotes-same-sex-marriage/">sued the members of the state’s Civil Rights Commission and Colorado’s attorney general</a>. Smith argued that being required to prepare a same-sex wedding website would violate her <a href="https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-1/">First Amendment</a> rights by forcing her to speak – what lawyers refer to as “compelled speech.”</p>
<p>The constitutional right to freedom of “speech” has historically been understood to cover a variety of ways people express themselves, including in writing, art and protest. But not only does it protect the right to protect one’s speech, it also safeguards <a href="https://www.mtsu.edu/first-amendment/article/933/compelled-speech">the right to not speak in the first place</a>.</p>
<p>Through her attorneys, Smith also maintained that requiring her to create a website would violate her <a href="https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-1/">First Amendment</a> right to the free exercise of religion.</p>
<h2>Path to SCOTUS</h2>
<p>The federal trial court in Colorado <a href="https://casetext.com/case/303-creative-llc-v-elenis-1">rejected Smith’s request</a> to block the anti-discrimination law in 2019. When she appealed, <a href="https://casetext.com/case/303-creative-llc-v-elenis-3">the circuit court</a> agreed with the previous ruling: She could not refuse to create websites for same-sex weddings, even if it would have gone against her beliefs.</p>
<p>Protecting diverse viewpoints is “a good in and of itself,” the court wrote, but combating discrimination “is, like individual autonomy, ‘essential’ to our democratic ideals.”</p>
<p>In <a href="https://cases.justia.com/federal/appellate-courts/ca10/19-1413/19-1413-2021-07-26.pdf?ts=1627336853">a lengthy dissent</a>, the chief judge highlighted Smith’s claim of compelled speech, criticizing the court for taking “the remarkable – and novel – stance that the government may force Ms. Smith to produce messages that violate her conscience.”</p>
<p>Smith appealed to the Supreme Court, which, in February 2022, agreed to hear her claim, limited to the issue of free speech, not freedom of religion. The question <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/docket/docketfiles/html/qp/21-00476qp.pdf">for the nine justices to decide</a> will be “whether applying a public-accommodation law to compel an artist to speak or stay silent violates the Free Speech Clause of the First Amendment.”</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A man in a black shirt and a gray apron stands amid many-tiered wedding cakes in a green room." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/483336/original/file-20220907-2774-q9y5k0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Jack Phillips, whose Masterpiece Cakeshop case went to the Supreme Court, stands in his Colorado bakery.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/jack-phillips-stands-for-a-portrait-near-a-display-of-news-photo/803122450?adppopup=true">Matthew Staver/For The Washington Post via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Key to the case?</h2>
<p>So, how will the justices rule? The Supreme Court may have given a clue to its initial attitude <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/docket/docketfiles/html/qp/21-00476qp.pdf">when it announced it would hear the case</a>. The justices zoomed in on a legal standard called “strict scrutiny,” as they did in its earlier case on this issue, Masterpiece Cakeshop.</p>
<p>Under <a href="https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/strict_scrutiny#:%7E:text=To%20pass%20strict%20scrutiny%2C%20the,the%20constitutionality%20of%20governmental%20discrimination.">strict scrutiny analysis</a>, the most stringent form of judicial review, government restrictions on fundamental rights must be justified by a compelling state interest in order to be upheld. In other words, the restrictions must advance government interests of the highest order, and be narrowly tailored to those goals – in this case, preventing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.</p>
<p>But the Supreme Court appeared skeptical that Colorado’s anti-discrimination act could survive this test, <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/docket/docketfiles/html/qp/21-00476qp.pdf">writing</a>, “The Tenth Circuit applied strict scrutiny and astonishingly concluded that the government may, based on content and viewpoint, force Lorie to convey messages that violate her religious beliefs and restrict her from explaining her faith.”</p>
<p>When the Supreme Court applies strict scrutiny, it rarely upholds governmental restrictions on constitutional rights – which could suggest a win for Smith.</p>
<p>Another possible indication, again in favor of Smith, is in <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/17pdf/16-1466_2b3j.pdf">Janus v. American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees, Council 31</a>, a 2018 case from Illinois involving compelled speech. Here the Supreme Court ruled in favor of a nonunion public employee who challenged an Illinois law requiring him to pay fair share fees to the union representing his colleagues for costs associated with the bargaining process. The court agreed with the employee’s claim that because the union supported positions with which he disagreed, his having to pay the fees violated his First Amendment right as a form of compelled speech.</p>
<h2>A second chance</h2>
<p>On the other side of the controversy is the vital interest of same-sex couples and others in the LGBTQ community to live free from discrimination based on their sexual orientations. </p>
<p>In a 2019 case, <a href="https://www.law.cornell.edu/supremecourt/text/17-1618">Bostock v. Clayton County</a>, the Supreme Court interpreted <a href="https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/title-vii-civil-rights-act-1964">Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964</a>, a far-reaching employment statute, as extending protection against discrimination in the workplace to individuals who are gay and transgender. However, the Court has yet to address the clash of rights at issue in 303 Creative.</p>
<p>The key question, then, appears to be whether individuals can require artists or those who engage in expressive activities to provide their services if doing so can be viewed as a form of compelled speech, violating their right to stay silent on issues with which they disagree.</p>
<p>Thus, it remains to be seen whether 303 Creative will set a new precedent on balancing First Amendment freedoms while protecting others from discrimination. After all, it sidestepped constitutional issues <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-the-supreme-courts-gay-wedding-cake-ruling-wont-resolve-religious-freedom-issues-97759">in Masterpiece Cakeshop</a>. <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/17pdf/16-111_j4el.pdf">The court based its decision</a> in the baker’s favor on some of the Colorado commission members’ comments about his beliefs. The majority found that those comments violated the state’s First Amendment duty to maintain religious neutrality while avoiding hostility to faith-based beliefs or viewpoints.</p>
<p>On Oct. 18, 2022 <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_calendars/MonthlyArgumentCalDecember2022.pdf">the Supreme Court announced</a> that it will hear oral arguments in 303 Creative on Dec. 5, 2022. Though the court likely will not render a judgment until near the end of its term in June 2023, it promises to be one of the upcoming year’s highest-profile judgments. And, regardless of the outcome, 303 Creative is likely to generate even more controversy.</p>
<p><em>Article updated on Oct. 20, 2022 to include the date of oral arguments in 303 Creative v. Elenis.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/187584/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Charles J. Russo does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
303 Creative v. Elenis gives SCOTUS another chance to set precedent about what happens when First Amendment freedoms come at a cost to civil rights.
Charles J. Russo, Joseph Panzer Chair in Education in the School of Education and Health Sciences and Research Professor of Law, University of Dayton
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/177197
2022-03-31T12:44:37Z
2022-03-31T12:44:37Z
Transgender women are finding some respect in India, but a traditional gender-nonconforming group – hijras – remains stigmatized
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/455281/original/file-20220330-5792-b9nwvi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C6559%2C4381&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Members of the Association of Transgender and Hijra at Bengal light a lamp to mark Transgender Day of Bengal in Kolkata, India, in 2017.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/IndiaTrangenders/150991d3665046a694f2f9d7c125ce8e/photo?Query=hijra%20india&mediaType=photo&sortBy=&dateRange=Anytime&totalCount=15&currentItemNo=13">AP Photo/Bikas Das</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The confirmation of Rachel Levine, <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/dr-rachel-levine-becomes-first-openly-transgender-person-confirmed-senate-n1262000">the first openly transgender federal official in the U.S., as assistant secretary to Department of Health and Human Services</a>, showed the progress toward acceptance that transgender people have recently made in <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/latin-americas-trans-politicians-gain-ground-dangerous-region-2022-03-09/">many parts of the world</a>. </p>
<p>Despite <a href="https://theconversation.com/indiana-iowa-and-texas-advance-anti-transgender-agendas-part-of-a-longtime-strategy-by-conservatives-to-rally-their-base-178377">intense</a> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/19/hungary-votes-to-end-legal-recognition-of-trans-people">pushback</a>, trans people <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Trans-Lives-in-a-Globalizing-World-Rights-Identities-and-Politics/Ryan/p/book/9780367193348">all over the world</a> are finding more courage to live openly. </p>
<p>There is greater acceptance for transgender people in <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-biden-levine-lgbt/factbox-transgender-politicians-and-government-officials-around-the-world-idUSKBN2BH1U4">high-level government positions</a>, <a href="https://www.chronicle.com/package/diversity-in-academe-transgender-on-campus/">colleges</a> and <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2017/01/30/us/boy-scouts-transgender-membership/index.html">extracurricular activities</a>, among other areas. </p>
<p>However, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243220932275">my ethnographic research on transgender identities in India</a> shows an intriguing paradox – claiming trans identities can <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/06/28/us/pride-identity.html">appear progressive</a> for some, but it can also marginalize other gender-nonconforming groups.</p>
<h2>Who are hijras?</h2>
<p>While conducting research in India, I found many people who identified themselves as transgender women. This surprised me, because India has a well-established category for gender-nonconforming people whose gender was assigned as male at birth – a group known as <a href="https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/W/bo3534006.html">hijras</a>. </p>
<p>The hijra community is said to go back to antiquity. Hijras created their own communities where they live and work together in <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Neither_Man_Nor_Woman.html?id=K1sbAAAAYAAJ">households known as hamaams</a>, as they are excluded from the mainstream society. They often <a href="https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/W/bo3534006.html">run away from their birth families as teenagers</a> because of abuse for their gender expression or perceived sexuality. Hijras often live in urban areas, but there are also <a href="https://www.fordhampress.com/9780823294718/hijras-lovers-brothers/">those who live in rural areas</a>. </p>
<p>Hijras usually do sex work and solicit money because they are excluded from other employment and educational systems. Among the mainstream public, hijras are perhaps best known for their <a href="https://www.foyles.co.uk/witem/lgbt-gender-studies/badhai-hijrakhwaja-siratrans,adnan-hossain-claire-pamment-jeff-roy-9781350174535">uninvited performances</a> at ceremonial occasions, like weddings and birth celebrations, where they request large donations. In 2014, <a href="https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/supreme-court-recognizes-transgenders-as-third-gender/articleshow/33767900.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst">India recognized</a> hijras and other gender-nonconforming people as part of a “third gender” category. However, despite the court ruling and outreach by nongovernmental organizations, hijras remain a <a href="https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/W/bo3534006.html">stigmatized and marginalized</a> community. </p>
<h2>Transgender women vs. hijras</h2>
<p>At the same time, throughout India, the number of people who identify themselves as transgender women is growing. Over 18 months, between 2009 and 2016, I spoke with over 75 trans women, hijras and other members of the sexual and gender minority community in Bengaluru. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Indians from the LGBTQ community in colorful dresses walking in a Queer Pride parade, while holding the six-color pride flag." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/455051/original/file-20220329-19-1u838l5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">People from India’s LGBTQ community during a Delhi Queer Pride event in 2011.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/IndiaQueerPride/8c5b7a4629e0477a87d5a950a8829fce/photo?Query=india%20transgender%20women&mediaType=photo&sortBy=&dateRange=Anytime&totalCount=19&currentItemNo=5">AP Photo/Saurabh Das</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Media <a href="https://www.shethepeople.tv/drafts/transgender-women-trailblazers-fields">representations</a> depict trans women as enjoying <a href="https://homegrown.co.in/article/44544/meet-7-of-indias-transgender-icons-thriving-despite-social-taboo">newfound</a> <a href="https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/first-transgender-police-officer-of-india-969654-2017-04-05">opportunity</a> and <a href="https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/list-of-transgenders-firsts-who-made-it-big-in-their-fields-1276415-2018-07-03">social progress</a>. By contrast, popular depictions of hijras show them associated with stigmatized jobs, poverty and backwardness.</p>
<p>Most trans women I spoke with, like hijras, were from working-class backgrounds. These trans women are pursuing the kind of upward mobility and respectability that’s often denied to hijras. They do this partly by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243220932275">emphasizing the ways they are different from hijras</a>. </p>
<p>[<em>Get the best of The Conversation, every weekend.</em> <a href="https://memberservices.theconversation.com/newsletters/?nl=weekly&source=inline-weeklybest">Sign up for our weekly newsletter</a>.]</p>
<p>Trans women position themselves as belonging to the respectable middle class, in contrast to hijras, who face entrenched stigmatization in society. They do this by adopting <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Globalisation-and-the-Middle-Classes-in-India-The-Social-and-Cultural-Impact/Ganguly-Scrase-Scrase/p/book/9780415596145">middle-class markers</a> like education and claims of being “modern.” </p>
<p>During one conversation, I asked a shy young person wearing a deep green sari if she was from the hijra community. Before she could answer, her friend jumped in, explaining, “The people who are … living in the hamaams, following the tradition of the hamaams, they are called hijras. She’s a modern girl; she’s educated, she’s literate. She’s called transgender.” </p>
<p>Many trans women that I spoke with discussed working in “office jobs,” referring to white-collar jobs, especially with NGOs. Office employment is important because it allows trans women middle-class respectability, which is not available to hijras.</p>
<p>Suma, a trans woman in her early 30s, explained how such employment connected with the desire for middle-class status. She observed, “Everyone has to work, but dignity is very important. Begging and sex work are not bringing you any dignity.” </p>
<h2>‘I am not a hijra’</h2>
<p>The distinction between claiming a trans woman identity or a hijra identity is perhaps most apparent in an online media photo series from 2016 titled “<a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/15-beautiful-confident-transgender-indians-shut-down-stereot">I am Not a Hijra</a>.” The 16 photos in the series show primarily feminine trans people holding signs that claim trans identities and emphasize their difference from hijras. Like the trans women I spoke with, these trans people emphasize how their employment – and, thus, class – status is a key marker of this difference.</p>
<p>For these trans women, identifying as transgender, and not as hijras, is important for upward mobility. They want to be understood as different from hijras, because hijras are stigmatized and excluded. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, in their quest for respect, trans women end up reinforcing the stigma and inequalities suffered by hijras.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/177197/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Liz Mount received funding from The American Institute of Indian Studies to conduct this research. </span></em></p>
A sociologist explains that the ability to claim transgender identities in India may appear progressive, but this can further marginalize historically stigmatized gender-nonconforming groups.
Liz Mount, Assistant Professor of Sociology, Flagler College
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/164473
2021-08-03T12:35:24Z
2021-08-03T12:35:24Z
Declined invitations go over more graciously when lack of money is cited instead of lack of time – new research
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/414206/original/file-20210802-23-kq4sfq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=161%2C71%2C2833%2C2173&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Be careful how you decline wedding invitations.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/wedding-invitation-with-rose-petals-royalty-free-image/184937306?adppopup=true">Jitalia17/iStock via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>The <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/research-brief-83231">Research Brief</a> is a short take about interesting academic work.</em></p>
<h2>The big idea</h2>
<p>Declining an invitation by saying “I don’t have time” leads the person you rejected to feel undervalued and upset, making them trust you less and hurting the relationship, we found in <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.1002/jcpy.1226">research recently published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology</a>. Offering a financial excuse such as “I don’t have money” doesn’t create the same negative reaction. </p>
<p>To explore the best way to decline an invitation without damaging a relationship, we conducted six experiments with a focus on two common excuses: time and money.</p>
<p>First, we invited 207 people into our lab and asked them to recall an experience when an acquaintance declined to do something with them, citing an excuse of either limited time or money. We then asked participants to rate how close they felt to the person and how much they trusted them before and after hearing the excuse. We also asked how valid they deemed the excuse. </p>
<p>Participants felt less close to their acquaintances and trusted them less when they used a time excuse rather than a money excuse as a reason they couldn’t do something. They also said a time excuse was less valid. </p>
<p>In a second experiment, we recruited 132 people who were engaged and planning a wedding. We asked them how many guests declined the invitation and if they provided a time or money excuse. Again, people taking part in this study felt less close and trusting of those who used a lack of time as their excuse for not attending the wedding. Participants also indicated that they believe money was significantly more outside of their guests’ control. </p>
<p>We found similar results with three other experiments that examined a scenario in which someone declined an invitation to have dinner, drinks or see a comedy show.</p>
<p>A sixth experiment found that people who cited not having enough time as the reason they aren’t more charitable were perceived as less trustworthy. They were also seen as having more actual control over their constraints than when they cited a lack of money. </p>
<h2>Why it matters</h2>
<p>We’ve all received an invitation to an event or been asked to do a favor for a friend but didn’t have the time, money or perhaps even the interest. But <a href="https://www.creditkarma.com/insights/i/fomo-spending-affects-one-in-four-millennials">saying “no” isn’t so easy</a> for any number of reasons. </p>
<p>Our research suggests that turning down invitations because of a lack of time – even when true – seems to reflect the weakness of the relationship. You might as well say, “I value doing something else rather than spending time with you.”</p>
<p>But we also found that when time is a factor, providing a friend with more information about your time constraints can help, such as mentioning a tight deadline at work. That shows the constraint is outside of your control. </p>
<h2>What other research is being done</h2>
<p>While our research shows citing money is a more acceptable excuse, there are other reasons why someone might not want to use a lack of cash as a reason to decline a night out or something else. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucy040">Recent research</a> suggests that financially constrained people don’t like to talk about their purchasing behavior because it reminds them of their relative lack of wealth. This makes them less likely to use it as an excuse – and sometimes go out anyway – even when doing so adds to their financial stress. </p>
<p>In one of our experiments, we found that people saw having too little money as less of an obstacle than time constraints. Some participants with friends who declined an invitation over a lack of money expressed a willingness to pick up their companion’s bill or to suggest a less expensive activity.</p>
<p>[<em>You’re smart and curious about the world. So are The Conversation’s authors and editors.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/the-daily-3?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=youresmart">You can read us daily by subscribing to our newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/164473/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ashley Whillans receives funding from the Institute for Labor Economics (IZA) John Templeton Foundation, Social Sciences & Humanities Research Council of Canada, Lee Kum Sheung Center for Health and Happiness at Harvard University, Mittal Family Foundation at Harvard University, Burke Family Foundation at Harvard University, and the Pershing Square Foundations of Human Behavior Initiative at Harvard University.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Grant Donnelly does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Several studies found that using the excuse ‘I don’t have time’ when declining an invitation harmed the relationship with the person who extended it.
Grant Donnelly, Assistant Professor of Marketing, The Ohio State University
Ashley Whillans, Assistant Professor of Business Administration, Harvard University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/163211
2021-06-23T16:19:52Z
2021-06-23T16:19:52Z
COVID weddings: why some couples got unofficially married during the pandemic
<p>Fifteen months after the first lockdown, the government has finally responded to increasing pressure to make it easier for couples to legally marry by allowing outdoor civil weddings <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/news/outdoor-civil-wedding-and-partnership-registrations-to-be-legalised">from July 1 2021</a>. This will no doubt provide welcome reassurance for couples who have booked ceremonies at approved venues, offering a back-up plan if it’s deemed safer for groups of people to gather outside.</p>
<p>However, for some couples it has come too late. As part of our ongoing research project <a href="https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/project/wedding-not-marriage-exploring-non-legally-binding-ceremonies">funded by the Nuffield Foundation </a> on non-legally binding wedding ceremonies, we’ve spoken to a number of couples who were married unofficially through religious or belief ceremonies because of the pandemic. Our work sheds some light on why people might have decided to have a non-binding ceremony. </p>
<p>Under normal circumstances, many of these couples would have also had a legal ceremony. But due to COVID-19 restrictions, register offices offering legal unions have very long waiting lists. It’s not clear how many people are in this position across England and Wales, but a lack of availability for them to convert their personal contract into a legal marriage could present significant problems for such couples in the future. Without legal recognition, marriages aren’t protected by family law.</p>
<h2>Challenges for lockdown weddings</h2>
<p>When the government drew up its pandemic plans, it doesn’t seem as though much thought was given to couples who consider marriage a prerequisite for living together. There were periods when it wasn’t possible to get married <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52012432">at all</a>. Many such couples simply chose to go through a ceremony that would be recognised by their religion or belief as a legitimate marriage. </p>
<p>In some cases, deciding to live together had been hastened by COVID-19. As one female imam who participated in our study reported: “We’ve had a huge increase in people saying yes, we want to make a home with our partner, and we need to do it right now.”</p>
<p>This wasn’t the only reason for having a non-legally recognised ceremony. Other couples who’d been unable to have their legal wedding still wanted to mark the occasion. One humanist celebrant reported a couple saying: “We would really like to do something on the day that we were due to get married because, in our head, that’s our wedding day.”</p>
<p>That ceremony, like countless others, took place via Zoom, the only option for many couples during periods of lockdown. As the minister of an online Christian wedding conducted on YouTube and Zoom told us, the couple he married was “in the life of the church, and when the first lockdown came they wanted to be able to live together and for us that means they need to get married”.</p>
<p>We also spoke to a number of imams who had conducted <em>nikahs</em> (Muslim wedding ceremonies) by Zoom for similar reasons. As one noted, “it satisfies them spiritually, religiously, even socially to that extent”.</p>
<p>There were also long periods in 2020 when small groups could meet but restrictions on legal weddings remained. Numerous imams reported that they conducted a lot more <em>nikahs</em> in people’s homes during this period. An imam we interviewed told us that while he would’ve preferred <em>nikahs</em> to take place in the mosque, he had no choice but to “flex on that”. Weddings at home were also reported by Hindu priests for similar reasons.</p>
<h2>Waiting lists for register offices</h2>
<p>A large number of the celebrants we interviewed emphasised that while they would normally only conduct a ceremony if a couple was already legally married, they made exceptions. One imam reported how a civil wedding had been scheduled for the same day as the nikah but the local authority had cancelled it at the last minute. His compromise was to go ahead with the nikah but defer giving the couple their certificate until they had married legally.</p>
<p>Even when weddings were able to go ahead, celebrants reported couples having issues with securing slots for civil ceremonies. One imam noted that the couple whose nikah he had conducted were “on a waiting list”, adding: “I know in some places they’ve been told that … for the remainder of 2020 there’s basically no way that they can register their marriage.”</p>
<p>Similarly, a humanist celebrant reported how a couple who had been wed in a humanist ceremony “were going to get legally married at some point when they could get a cheap booking with the registry office, which is not easy”.</p>
<p>As many of these experiences indicate, those who already regard themselves married may not want an elaborate second ceremony. As many of our interviewees put it, they just want the “piece of paper”. </p>
<p>Unless it becomes necessary for weddings to take place outside for safety reasons, it would be far better for local authorities to focus their resources on making more slots available for legal formalities to be completed, by increasing the number (and visibility) of statutory ceremonies. Otherwise, the risk is that the longer the delay, the less urgent legal formalities may seem, and the greater the likelihood that legal ceremonies won’t take place at all.</p>
<p>One way around that issue would be for local authorities to help these couples to marry legally - not in a lavish ceremony on approved premises, but by offering more simple £46 statutory ceremonies in register offices.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/practice-points/availability-of-two-plus-two-marriage-ceremonies/5103708.article">The £46 ceremony</a> is contained in statute – but, in reality, register offices offer only few of these appointments each week. These usually take place during undesirable times and days, with ceremonies conducted in simple offices and a maximum of two witnesses as guests. </p>
<p>While this might seem unappealing, it’s perfect for couples who have already had non-legally recognised marriage ceremonies that are meaningful to them. To serve couples like these, more such appointments need to be made available as soon as possible.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/163211/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rajnaara C Akhtar receives funding from the Nuffield Foundation.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rebecca Probert is co-investigator on the Nuffield-funded project. She is the specialist consultant to the Law Commission on its Weddings Project</span></em></p>
Unless there are safety reasons for outdoor weddings, it would be far better for local authorities to focus resources on making more slots available
Rajnaara C Akhtar, Assistant Professor in Law, University of Warwick
Rebecca Probert, Professor of Law, University of Exeter
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/143000
2021-06-22T20:00:44Z
2021-06-22T20:00:44Z
Anticipatory nostalgia: how wedding videographers craft memories before they’re even over
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/407353/original/file-20210621-35190-1nhccei.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=53%2C8%2C6000%2C3979&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>In 2019, the average cost of weddings in Australia <a href="https://www.easyweddings.com.au/business/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/07/Easy-Weddings-2019-Survey.pdf">increased to $32,333</a>. Around 42% of couples hired a professional videographer, at an average cost of $2,702.</p>
<p>Once lavish, many weddings have become more modest affairs during pandemic times. But the importance of recording them for posterity has only increased, in part because many loved ones cannot attend. </p>
<p>Professional wedding videography presents an enhanced and carefully curated account, evoking how the spectacle should ideally be remembered. Some videographers even offer a “same day edit”, where footage is rapidly edited and played during the reception, shaping how the event will be remembered before it is even over.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/F_joX23iug4?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>The couple’s reactions – joyous, awed, and overwhelmed – are then often included in later videos. Achieving such technical feats, however, <a href="https://fstoppers.com/wedding/same-day-wedding-edits-can-be-ultimate-stress-5896">proves a stressful task</a>.</p>
<p>A crucial aspect of wedding videos are their soundtracks. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10304312.2019.1700216">Our research</a> explores how popular music genres are used, particularly in the “highlight reels” of around up to ten minutes commonly shared on social media.</p>
<figure>
<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/75744144" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>Alongside surveys of Melbourne and Sydney-based videographers, across 132 videos <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/332783683_'Their_time_and_their_story'_Inscribing_belonging_through_life_narratives_and_role_expectations_in_wedding_videography">we explored</a> how videographers borrow tropes from contemporary music videos, with fast cutting and effect-heavy montages.</p>
<p>These videos capture the movement and rhythm of rituals that still photography cannot replicate, with thematically poignant lyrics providing narrative thrust in weaving together the actors, settings and symbols.</p>
<figure>
<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/145818829" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<h2>Raucous fun and tender comfort</h2>
<p>Here, one videographer sums up their typical strategy when selecting music:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>We use slow dreamy music for a soft romantic vibe […] indie/alternative if we have a fun quirky couple […] pop, upbeat songs for a happy mood […] rock and up-tempo music for a really exciting, punchy, party atmosphere.’</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Upbeat folk-pop might feature in pre-wedding preparation scenes. Love ballads accompany ceremony scenes. Propulsive dance tracks evoke the raucous fun of reception celebrations.</p>
<p>Alternatively, a single track can serve all these functions. Beginning with quiet introspection, the music in the video below swells into an overflow of feeling, and ends with a calming denouement that evinces comfort and belonging.</p>
<figure>
<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/239060043" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>Videographers described music selection as “crucial”:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>We use the music to shape the story and tone of the film. We edit to the music and follow the ebb and flow, crescendos and verses […] It creates the map of the film.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>But such selections can prove a cumbersome task. One videographer explained they once spent a whole day just choosing the music:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>There’s only a limited number of really good music libraries, and because a lot of videographers use these same libraries it’s not uncommon to hear the same music in other people’s work, which isn’t ideal.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Even so, videographers often resist clients wanting to make their own selections:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>While the clients thought they were going to be pleased with their choice, the music never accompanied their films well […] [Now] I don’t consult with them.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Nostalgia, fantasy, luxury</h2>
<p>Wedding videos are sold as essential keepsakes, leaning heavily on “<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886916302446">anticipatory nostalgia</a>”.</p>
<p>In the following video, sepia tones and film flickering are used to effectively age the present into a treasured past. Meanwhile, bespoke animation adds whimsy to videos that could otherwise veer into slight melodrama.</p>
<figure>
<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/378923388" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>Widely recognisable visual markers prove useful, and hence videographers take advantage of luxury commodities featured during weddings. For instance, the infamous video of Salim Mehajer and Aysha Learmonth’s wedding closely combines the sacred and profane: with the Quran featuring alongside Rolex watches.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xvousR9MPQ0?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>In researching these videos, we observed how traditional norms are being reimagined. Rather than arguably tired, conventional sentiments about being “Beautiful in White”, the accompanying music instead takes on more ethereal themes of self-discovery and renewal, as evident below. </p>
<figure>
<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/336758439" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>Curiously, as the following example shows, many videos evoke both melancholic and uplifting tones. Rather than being unfailingly cheery, the lyrics dwell on love as simultaneously timeless and finite, both fated and fragile.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yjVFxhslf9M?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<h2>Downsizing ‘I do’</h2>
<p>COVID “<a href="https://www.theknot.com/content/what-is-a-microwedding">micro-weddings</a>” have proven more modest celebrations, adopting a different tone and style.</p>
<p>The rowdy bacchanalia is gone. But in its place are more relaxed and cosy intimacies, such as backyard, round-the-campfire gatherings.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6QBf9ohtEVY?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure>
<p>Wedding videos now carry distinct markers of these strange days, such as <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j9BJ522CQw">drive-in weddings</a>, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/31/at-home/virtual-weddings-etiquette.html">live streaming</a>, <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-09-07/wedding-cakes-under-covid-safe-plan-both-fake-and-real/12612730">fake cakes</a> and <a href="https://www.wedgewoodweddings.com/blog/safe-healthy-wedding-favors">unique wedding favours</a>.</p>
<p>The reduced fanfare may even loosen once stubborn traditional customs, <a href="https://www.ft.com/content/b43a8a66-8552-4717-b99a-32a616c1aec2">enabling more room for self-expression</a>. </p>
<p>This presents creative dilemmas for videographers, who must still weave compelling memorials from less ostentatious spectacles.</p>
<p>In uncertain times, creative memory-making may prove more important than ever.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/143000/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Videographers have become an integral part of many Australians’ wedding days – sometimes even screening their video before the day is over.
Matthew Wade, Lecturer in Social Inquiry, La Trobe University
Michael James Walsh, Associate Professor, University of Canberra
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/156893
2021-03-11T16:08:11Z
2021-03-11T16:08:11Z
Why Meghan and Harry and many others choose to have two wedding ceremonies
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388855/original/file-20210310-20-14780bq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=5%2C2%2C992%2C663&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">First or the second?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/windsor-berkshire-united-kingdom-may-19th-1096947959">Blueskynet/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Prince Harry and Meghan’s <a href="https://www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/heres-how-to-watch-the-meghan-and-harry-interview-with-oprah-in-the-uk">interview with Oprah Winfrey</a> is doubtless historic. Of the many revelations, one that has caused confusion for some was the disclosure that they had entered a private ceremony of marriage in their gardens at Kensington Palace, three days before the public ceremony on May 19 2018. With the Archbishop of Canterbury present, and only Harry and Meghan, they committed themselves to each other in marriage in a ceremony that was private and meaningful to them. </p>
<p>So when did they actually marry, and what is the significance of having two ceremonies? While being royals certainly has implications where weddings law is concerned, dual ceremonies are not unique to them. Many couples in England and Wales do this every year. </p>
<p>Those who live their lives in accordance with a particular faith or belief system, for example, will often have a prescribed manner of marrying that is not recognised by English law. These couples may be compelled to undertake two ceremonies, one that is recognised by their faith/belief, and another that is recognised by the law. This includes, though is not limited to, humanists, Muslims, pagans and Hindus. </p>
<p>Many others, similar to Harry and Meghan but perhaps without the same profile, also want a ceremony that is personally meaningful to them. In such instances, they can even engage one of over 1,000 independent celebrants in the UK who can tailor the service to the needs of the couple.</p>
<h2>Legal limits</h2>
<p>In normal circumstances, Anglican weddings require the publishing of banns (a notice of the proposed wedding) or a licence, two witnesses, and to be held in premises of the Church of England. For royals, however, it is specifically provided that the <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo6/12-13-14/76/contents">Marriage Act 1949</a> does not “affect any law or custom relating to the marriage of members of the Royal Family”. Over time, various laws and customs have existed that bind royals, including the Royal Marriages Act 1772, which sets out, among other things, that royal marriages require consent from the monarch – which is <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2013/20/contents/enacted">still in force today</a> for the first six members of the royal family in the line of succession.</p>
<p>The royal exemption from current marriage legislation originated in the Clandestine Marriages Act 1753, and effectively means that royal marriages are governed by the law as it stood before that act – known as the Canon Law of the Church of England. On this basis, one could perhaps argue that the secluded private garden ceremony could be considered binding. However, there is an important distinction between an exchange of vows that is binding and a legal marriage. Their legal marriage was the one celebrated publicly by special marriage licence from <a href="https://www.facultyoffice.org.uk/">the Faculty Office</a> at St George’s Chapel in Windsor on May 19 2018. </p>
<p>Nonetheless, legalities aside, it seems that for Meghan and Harry the private ceremony was the one that was personally meaningful to them. For many who undertake dual ceremonies, the personally meaningful element may in fact be the most important part of their wedding process. For example, a Muslim couple would generally consider their religious <em>nikah</em> ceremony as marking their marriage, and this is often celebrated with many friends and family present, and following prescribed religious norms. A follow-up civil wedding, where this occurs, is often more muted and considered procedural for legal recognition purposes. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Muslim nikah Wedding of a couple in the mosque" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/388858/original/file-20210310-19-1n32rh6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Muslim nikah wedding ceremony often marks the marriage.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/muslim-nikah-wedding-couple-mosque-658189507">frantic00/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Mixed-faith couples on the other hand may undertake two religious ceremonies, representing the couple’s differing faiths. One of these may be a legally binding marriage, assuming that it is conducted in accordance with the law. Setting aside the special rules that apply to Anglican, Jewish and Quaker weddings, the latter two being exempt from restrictions on the venue, religious weddings must take place in a registered place of worship to be legally recognised. </p>
<p>Crucially, however, not all recognised places of worship, and certainly not all places where people worship, are registered for marriages. </p>
<h2>Changing the law</h2>
<p>If you are reading this and wondering why the system for marrying is so complex, you are certainly not alone. <a href="https://www.lawcom.gov.uk/project/weddings/">Provisional proposals</a> put forward by the Law Commission of England and Wales pave the way for a simpler way to marry without the need for a dual ceremony. Having consulted on these proposals, it will be making recommendations for reform later this year.</p>
<p>We are <a href="https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/project/wedding-not-marriage-exploring-non-legally-binding-ceremonies">undertaking</a> research on how people marry in England and Wales, with a focus on those who have a dual ceremony or chose to have a single meaningful ceremony that isn’t legally recognised. This research will help understand why people marry in multiple ways, so that any reforms in weddings law can reflect the way people marry today. </p>
<p>For some, legal recognition isn’t what makes a wedding ceremony meaningful. And while many may wrangle over when Meghan and Harry were actually married, the ceremony three days before the one the rest of us saw may be the one that mattered most to them.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/156893/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rajnaara C Akhtar receives funding from Nuffield Foundation. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rebecca Probert is co-investigator on the Nuffield-funded project. She is the specialist consultant to the Law Commission on its Weddings Project.</span></em></p>
Why Oprah’s interview with Meghan and Harry had many confused about when they were actually married.
Rajnaara C Akhtar, Associate Professor in Law, De Montfort University
Rebecca Probert, Professor of Law, University of Exeter
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/140940
2020-10-22T18:58:12Z
2020-10-22T18:58:12Z
Set ground rules and keep it intimate: 10 tips for hosting a COVID-safe wedding
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/364689/original/file-20201021-23-q36vp0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=5%2C0%2C992%2C661&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/beautiful-wedding-couple-enjoying-127850174">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Spring and summer in Australia and the gradual easing of restrictions means we can expect weddings, with more guests, back on the calendar.</p>
<p>However, any wedding you plan or attend will be quite different to one held before COVID-19.</p>
<p>The rules around how many wedding guests are allowed change over time, and differ by state and territory. You can find the most up-to-date advice for your jurisdiction by following the links in <a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-restrictions-in-your-state-145031">this guide</a>.</p>
<p>Besides following restrictions on how many people can attend, if you’re planning a wedding, there’s lots you can do to minimise the risk of coronavirus spread on the big day.</p>
<h2>Why can pandemic weddings be risky?</h2>
<p>We know COVID-19 is <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/news/health-alerts/novel-coronavirus-2019-ncov-health-alert/what-you-need-to-know-about-coronavirus-covid-19#:%7E:text=The%20virus%20can%20spread%20from,your%20mouth%20or%20face">spread</a> by close contact with an infected person, contact with droplets from coughs or sneezes (larger droplets or <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-02058-1">tiny aerosolised ones</a>), or touching surfaces the droplets have contaminated.</p>
<p>We also know of particular COVID-19 outbreaks associated with <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-20/coronavirus-case-numbers-linked-to-nsw-south-coast-wedding-rises/12074280">weddings</a>. Why? Because weddings tick all the boxes that make certain <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3625655">events especially risky for transmission</a>. Weddings usually involve:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>large numbers of people, close together</p></li>
<li><p>people congregating for a long time</p></li>
<li><p>poor ventilation, if inside</p></li>
<li><p>aerobic activity, if dancing</p></li>
<li><p>lots of singing or loud voices</p></li>
<li><p>alcohol (meaning potentially less COVID-safe behaviour)</p></li>
<li><p>sharing objects, food or drink.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>So to reduce the risk during the pandemic, couples and guests need to consider these issues.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-restrictions-in-your-state-145031">Coronavirus restrictions in your state</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>What to think about when planning</h2>
<p><strong>1. Smaller is better</strong></p>
<p>The number of guests that can attend varies depending on where you live, the size of the venue, and whether the wedding is inside or outside. </p>
<p>But even if you’re allowed 100 guests or more, generally speaking, the fewer the better to reduce your risk of transmission.</p>
<p><strong>2. Outside is better</strong></p>
<p>The best venue will be outdoors — open air, natural ventilation and lots of space. That’s because the risk of transmission indoors is around <a href="https://academic.oup.com/cid/advance-article/doi/10.1093/cid/ciaa1442/5910315">18 times higher</a> than outdoors. </p>
<p>If you choose an inside venue, ask about ventilation, because <a href="https://www.ecdc.europa.eu/sites/default/files/documents/Ventilation-in-the-context-of-COVID-19.pdf">poor ventilation</a> and crowding can increase the risk of transmission. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/7-questions-answered-on-how-to-socialise-safely-as-coronavirus-restrictions-ease-139109">7 questions answered on how to socialise safely as coronavirus restrictions ease</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>3. Keep it short</strong></p>
<p>Instead of the usual ceremony followed by a reception that goes late into the night, keep it short. For example, a ten-minute service followed by an hour or two of celebration. </p>
<p>We know the risk of COVID-19 spread is related to length of exposure, so the shorter the time spent in close contact — particularly <a href="https://www.ecdc.europa.eu/sites/default/files/documents/Ventilation-in-the-context-of-COVID-19.pdf">in confined spaces</a> — the lower the risk.</p>
<p><strong>4. Plan for physical distancing</strong></p>
<p>If there’s a sit-down meal, use only every second seat. So a table that normally sits ten will only accommodate five.</p>
<p>Place markings on the floor to indicate an appropriate distance to stand apart. And encourage guests to avoid congregating around entrances, exits, toilets and bars.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A couple dancing at their outdoor wedding, surrounded by guests clapping." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364880/original/file-20201022-20-rjpd2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Outside is better than inside, if possible.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>5. Tell everyone the rules</strong></p>
<p>With every invitation, include this brief list of rules, so everybody knows what to expect:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>please social distance by 1.5m, including when dancing</p></li>
<li><p>regularly use hand sanitiser available throughout the venue</p></li>
<li><p>use the COVIDSafe app</p></li>
<li><p>stay home if you are unwell (including the bridal party).</p></li>
</ul>
<p>That last one is particularly important. If guests feel unwell (even with mild, flu-like symptoms), they must not attend.</p>
<p>And if you are unwell, cancel. We know it’s hard to cancel an event you’ve been looking forward to, but this important message remains the same. If you have any symptoms, stay at home and get tested at the earliest opportunity.</p>
<p><strong>6. Ditch the vigorous dancing</strong></p>
<p>Skip the loud music and vigorous dancing. This only invites close contact combined with aerobic activity and <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-38808-z">loud vocalisation</a>. You don’t want to turn this into a <a href="https://theconversation.com/heading-back-to-the-gym-heres-how-you-can-protect-yourself-and-others-from-coronavirus-infection-139681">gym class</a> because they too have been associated with <a href="https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/26/8/20-0633_article">outbreaks</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/were-more-likely-to-let-our-covid-19-guard-down-around-those-we-love-most-142908">We're more likely to let our COVID-19 guard down around those we love most</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>7. Watch the alcohol</strong></p>
<p>Consider limiting the amount of alcohol served. Rather than the traditional endless supply of beer and wine, consider one or two <a href="https://www.easyweddings.com.au/articles/10-cocktails-for-your-big-day/">classy cocktails</a> per guest. </p>
<p>The shorter duration of the celebration should also reduce the likelihood of poor decision-making that comes with drinking too much.</p>
<p><strong>8. Tag everyone’s glass</strong></p>
<p>Place an easily identifiable tag on each glass so there’s no confusion about which one belongs to whom. That way you minimise the chance of people drinking from someone else’s and transferring the virus via contaminated glasses. </p>
<p>And on the day, raise your glasses rather than clinking them.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Wine glass with tag on the stem on a party table" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/364691/original/file-20201021-23-4vxre9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Is that my glass? With a tag, you’ll always know.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/close-wine-glass-name-card-table-572235289">Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>9. No buffet</strong></p>
<p>Don’t share food or utensils. That means no buffets or serveries. Engage some wait staff to serve the food instead. </p>
<p>It’s a good idea to ensure your venue has a COVID-safe plan. This will guide the processes waiters and other staff serving your guests will follow. </p>
<p><strong>10. Provide hand sanitiser</strong></p>
<p>Put hand-sanitiser dispensers on every table, and at entrances and exits, at a minimum, and encourage your guests to use it.</p>
<h2>How to be a COVID-safe wedding guest</h2>
<p>If you’re lucky enough to be one of the select folks invited to the wedding, you have a responsibility to keep yourself and others safe.</p>
<p>Frequently use the hand sanitiser provided, or stay away altogether if you’re sick.</p>
<p>Follow the guidelines for your jurisdiction regarding mask use.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/nice-to-meet-you-now-back-off-how-to-socially-distance-without-seeming-rude-134250">Nice to meet you, now back off! How to socially distance without seeming rude</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Don’t rush up to others expecting warm hugs and kisses. Respectfully keep your distance, and encourage others to do the same.</p>
<p>And don’t kiss the bride — unless you’re the one who has just married her.</p>
<p>A wedding during this pandemic will be different, but still fun. Remember, at the end of the day, the happy couple will still end up being married, which is what it’s all about, right?</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/140940/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Philip Russo is the President of the Australasian College for Infection Prevention and Control. He is a member of the COVID Evidence Taskforce Steering Committee, the Infection Control Expert Group to the Department of Health, the Australian Strategic and Technical Advisory Group on AMR, the Healthcare Associated Infection Advisory Committee to the Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care, and a member of the Australian College of Nursing. He is also the recipient of a NHMRC Early Career Fellowship, and has received research funding from the Rosemary Norman Foundation, Cardinal Health, Australian College of Nursing and the Cabrini Institute</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Brett Mitchell is affiliated with the University of Newcastle, Editor-in-Chief (Infection, Disease and Health), member of the Infection Control Expert Advisory Group (Advising AHHPC), member of the COVID Evidence Taskforce Leadership Group, Fellow of the Australian College of Nursing and Australasian College for Infection Prevention and Control. Brett Mitchell has received funding from the NHMRC, HCF Foundation, Australian College of Nursing, Rosemary Norman Foundation, Australasian College for Infection Prevention and Control, Cardinal Health, MSD, and the Commonwealth (Innovations Connections).</span></em></p>
No kissing, jumping up and down on the dance floor, or buffets. Sounds like a COVID wedding.
Philip Russo, Associate Professor, Director Cabrini Monash University Department of Nursing Research, Monash University
Brett Mitchell, Professor of Nursing, University of Newcastle
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/144395
2020-09-04T12:21:25Z
2020-09-04T12:21:25Z
Why do brides wear white?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/353955/original/file-20200820-24-hfea41.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Wedding gown bodice, circa 1836.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://fashion2fiber.osu.edu/items/show/5074">The Ohio State Historic Costume & Textiles Collection</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>“A wedding gown represents far more than just a dress. It is also the embodiment of a dream,” <a href="https://www.davidsbridal.ca/Content_Bridal_VeraWangCA">said Vera Wang</a>.</p>
<p>For most American brides, that dream is realized in a beautiful white wedding gown. It’s a seemingly timeless tradition that is often the center point of little girls’ wedding fantasies. In 2018, about 83% of brides wore white dresses on their big day, according to a <a href="https://www.brides.com/gallery/american-wedding-study">survey by Brides Magazine</a>. Such an overwhelming statistic begs the question: Why do we associate white with wedding gowns? And how long has this tradition existed? </p>
<p><a href="https://www.accessible-archives.com/collections/godeys-ladys-book/">Godey’s Magazine and Lady’s Book</a>, a leading 19th century women’s publication, addressed this in an article on the “<a href="https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=nyp.33433081675609&view=1up&seq=444&q1=white%20wedding">Etiquette of Trousseau</a>” in their August 1849 issue. “Custom, from time immemorial, has decided on white as [a wedding gown’s] proper hue, emblematic of the freshness and purity of girlhood,” they wrote. </p>
<p>While this implies a long history of bridal white, it is not true. At the time, white had only been a popular wedding dress fashion for about nine years – strictly among the <a href="https://fashionhistory.fitnyc.edu/1840-queen-victorias-wedding-dress/">well-to-do</a>. </p>
<p>So when and where did the white wedding dress originate? As a curator at <a href="https://costume.osu.edu/">The Ohio State University’s Historic Costumes and Textiles Collection</a>, I have often been asked this question, and <a href="https://costume.osu.edu/1998/01/10/wedding-traditions/#traditional">my research</a> included the search for an answer. </p>
<p>The practice likely traces back more than 2,000 years, with roots in the <a href="https://www.pbs.org/empires/romans/empire/weddings.html">Roman Republic (509 B.C. - 27 B.C.)</a> when brides wore a white tunic. The color white represented purity, symbolizing both a woman’s chastity and her transition to a married Roman matron. It was also associated with <a href="https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/magazine/2018/11-12/vestal-virgins-of-ancient-rome/?ngsccourse">Vesta</a>, the virgin goddess of hearth, home and family who was served by temple priestesses garbed in distinctive white clothing.</p>
<p>After the fall of the Roman Empire, white marriage attire fell out of fashion. From the Middle Ages to the mid-19th century, most brides simply wore their <a href="https://fashionhistory.fitnyc.edu/1840-queen-victorias-wedding-dress/">best dress</a> or purchased a new gown that could be worn again. White was simply not a practical choice in a world without running water – or where laundry was hand-washed. </p>
<p>A royal wedding sparked the modern trend in white bridal wear. Queen Victoria chose to forgo the royal tradition of wearing coronation robes when she married Prince Albert on Feb. 10, 1840. Instead, she wore a fashionable white gown that was <a href="https://www.vam.ac.uk/blog/here-come-brides/queen-victoria-and-the-white-wedding-dress">featured in newspapers and magazines</a> around the world. </p>
<p>The style and color of her gown was copied across continents as women aspired to look like the young, attractive queen – much like the public emulates celebrities today. Wearing a white wedding dress became a sign of wealth and status rather than virginity. Only wealthy brides could wear a white silk gown, since they were wed in clean, elegant places that were removed from the muck and grime of life during the mid-19th century Industrial Age. </p>
<p>These gowns were actually cream or ivory, which was more flattering to the complexion. The brilliant white wedding dress would not become popular in Europe and North America until the 1930s, and would not truly become rooted in the public consciousness until World War II.</p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=840&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=840&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=840&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1056&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1056&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353952/original/file-20200820-24-fqgxaz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1056&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">This classic 1950s-era gown, worn in 1957 by a bride named Rita Jane Elliott, is a typical example of post-war style. It was bought at Madisons, a high-end women’s clothing store in Columbus, Ohio.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://fashion2fiber.osu.edu/items/show/4868">The Ohio State Historic Costume & Textiles Collection</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=754&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=947&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=947&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/353978/original/file-20200821-20-pdpj6s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=947&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Close-up of Rita Jane Elliot’s white silk dress, which incorporated silk, taffeta, sequins and pearls.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://fashion2fiber.osu.edu/items/show/4868">Ohio State Historic Costume & Textiles Collection</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>With U.S. wartime rations of fabric and a surge of weddings as American soldiers returned from the front, the war sparked changes in the design of wedding dresses. In 1943, while the war was still raging, the federal <a href="https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=uc1.c2544911&view=1up&seq=197">Limitation Order 85</a> dictated that only one and three-quarters yards of fabric could be used to create a dress. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://etd.ohiolink.edu/!etd.send_file?accession=ucin1428065407&disposition=inline">American Association of Bridal Manufacturers lobbied</a>for an exemption, arguing that it was important to the overall morale of citizens. They asserted, after conducting a study of 2,000 brides that, “American boys are going off to war and what are they fighting for except the privilege of getting married in a traditional way? They’re fighting for our way of life, and this is part of our way of life.” </p>
<p>They were ultimately successful, and the limitation order exempted wedding gowns. But silk was difficult to find; the war with Japan had disrupted trade routes. Nylon was also in short supply, as it was being used in place of silk to manufacture parachutes. Most wedding gowns from those years were made from acetate – except for those worn in “parachute weddings.” Some soldiers, like B-29 pilot Major Claude Hensinger, kept the parachutes that saved their lives during the war and later <a href="https://www.si.edu/newsdesk/snapshot/parachute-wedding-dress">gave the material to their betrothed</a> to make a gown.</p>
<p>Although the first records of brides garbed in white reach far back into the annals of history, it only became standard fashion over last 80 years. With the arrival of ready-to-wear clothing, brides could order affordable, mass-produced gowns based on sample sizes that were then fitted for them: a custom-made gown at a ready-to-wear price. A large, traditional wedding with the bride outfitted in a princess-style white wedding gown became a symbol of the American dream. </p>
<p>From WWII through the end of the 20th century, <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/business-history-review/article/its-our-day-americas-love-affair-with-the-white-wedding-19452005-by-katherine-jellison-lawrence-university-press-of-kansas-2008-xi-297-pp-illustrations-bibliography-notes-index-cloth-2995-isbn-9780700615599/7CB6E2E87490B7A8F35C9C799238827A">the white gown symbolized</a> prosperity, virginity and a lifetime commitment to one person. For most people today, those meanings are gone. </p>
<p>White is now the overwhelming choice for most American brides, with 4 out of 5 choosing to walk down the aisle in a white gown, a sort of bridal uniform. It has become an iconic symbol of weddings, an expected part of the celebration, and despite knowing the relatively short history of the tradition of a white wedding, it was my choice as well. </p>
<p>[<em>Deep knowledge, daily.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/the-daily-3?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=deepknowledge">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/144395/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Marlise Schoeny does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
The tradition of a bride garbed in white weaves through two thousand years of history, influenced by the Romans – and Queen Victoria.
Marlise Schoeny, Assistant Curator for the Ohio State Historic Costume & Textiles Collection, Adjunct Instructor for the Columbus College of Art and Design, The Ohio State University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/140038
2020-07-06T12:01:41Z
2020-07-06T12:01:41Z
Why so many women still take their husband’s last name
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/344839/original/file-20200630-103640-1wm7rxq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C84%2C6221%2C4063&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-kissing-while-holding-balloons-3372052/">Pexels</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Our names lie <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0038038515582157">at the heart</a> of our identity. But in Britain <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1360780419892637">nearly all married women</a> – almost 90% in a 2016 survey – abandon their original surname and take their husband’s. </p>
<p>The survey found that even most of the youngest married women – those aged 18–34 – chose to do so. Some women, incorrectly, even imagine it is a legal requirement. Most countries in western Europe and the US follow the same pattern. </p>
<p>This change in women’s identity, by taking a husband’s name, has emerged from <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-29804450">patriarchal history</a> where wives had no surname except “wife of X”. The wife was the husband’s possession and right up to the late 19th-century, women in England ceded all property and parental rights to husbands on marriage. </p>
<p>So how has a practice born out of women’s subordination to men <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1332/204674313X665913">remained so entrenched</a> in an age of women’s emancipation? </p>
<p>To understand this, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1360780419892637">in our research</a> we interviewed soon to be, or recently married, men and women in England and Norway. Norway makes an interesting comparison as although it is regularly ranked among the top four countries in the world for <a href="http://hdr.undp.org/en/data,%20https://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2020/">gender equality</a>, most Norwegian wives still take their husband’s name.</p>
<h2>Patriarchy and resistance</h2>
<p>We found that patriarchal power has not gone away. In England, for example, some husbands made marriage conditional on their wives taking their name. Mandy gives a striking example:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I actually didn’t want to change my name but … he said if that hadn’t changed there would have been no point getting married … he said the wedding would mean nothing.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>More often, male preeminence in names was just taken for granted. English women frequently called upon tradition: “it’s traditional and conventional” (Eleanor), or felt that name change was “the right thing to do” (Lucy). For Jess the meaning of her wedding was “that I’ll take my partner’s surname and stand by my vows”. </p>
<p>We found though that such views were much less common in Norway – where most women keep their own name as a secondary, middle, surname to preserve their own identity. </p>
<p>For some English women, taking the husband’s name was not only assumed and unquestioned, it was eagerly awaited. As Abigail put it, “I’m so looking forward to being a wife and having my surname changed”. Adele thought “it’s nice to be able to say ‘husband’ and take someone else’s name and call yourself ‘Mrs’”. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345072/original/file-20200701-13398-1ltxz20.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">That it is he who still asks she is outdated and problematic.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/amazed-african-american-couple-getting-engaged-539788825">YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The flip side of patriarchal power was that some women were resistant to losing their identity. As Rebecca explained:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I would like to keep my own name … I need to be me and I wouldn’t want to lose who I am. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>In Norway Caroline felt the same:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I am who I am, so I have no need to change my name.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Two Norwegian women we spoke with also raised explicit feminist objections. Anna felt that name change “says a lot about the patriarchal culture”. While Oda criticised women for not thinking about what a name means and men for the “weird” practice of imposing their names on other people.</p>
<h2>The ‘good family’</h2>
<p>Many name changers acted between these two poles of male power and women’s resistance. But it seems taking the husband’s name is also seen as being a good way to show others this is a “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0038038507072284">good family</a>”. As Claire says “I would like [others] to know that we were a family and I think names is quite a good way of doing that”.</p>
<p>In both countries, we found a common surname symbolising the family as a unit was primarily associated with having children. Eirin in Norway had been struggling between “the feminist me” and her husband who wanted her to take his name – though she felt this was “not urgent, at least not until you have children”. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/345074/original/file-20200701-159811-1nhc39j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Many couples report wanting everyone in the family to have the same surname.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/parents-giving-children-piggyback-ride-on-388719088">Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Supposedly, different parental names would be confusing. One woman we spoke to felt that “the kids won’t know whether they’re coming or going”. Though evidence suggests children are not at all confused about who’s in their family, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0038038511406600">whatever surname they might have</a>. Rather it seem nonconformity creates adult discomfort. </p>
<p>Some English women also felt that not changing your name indicated less commitment to the marriage – as Zoe explains: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I think if you’ve kept your name it’s kind of like saying I’m not really that committed to you. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>This feeling was not directly expressed by the Norwegian couples – probably because of the widespread practice of using the wife’s surname as a secondary, middle, family name.</p>
<h2>Not the norm</h2>
<p>Clearly then, showing others you are a “good family” is not a seamless, uncontested process. The display needs validation by others – and this makes adopting the husband’s name all the more likely. </p>
<p>Indeed, our study found the possibility of a joint name or using the women’s name was rarely considered among English couples. So although some women may be actively involved in choosing their marital name, taking the man’s name still remains the norm.</p>
<ul>
<li>Names have been changed</li>
</ul><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/140038/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Simon Duncan does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
While some women may be actively involved in choosing their marital name, taking the man’s name remains the norm.
Simon Duncan, Emeritus Professor in Social Policy, University of Bradford
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/134321
2020-03-25T12:29:21Z
2020-03-25T12:29:21Z
Why people need rituals, especially in times of uncertainty
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322716/original/file-20200324-155631-nmoaxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=10%2C16%2C1011%2C645&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">People wear a protective mask as they attend a Hindu ritual, known as Melasti, in Bali, Indonesia, on March 22.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/people-wear-a-protective-mask-as-they-attend-the-melasti-news-photo/1207962816?adppopup=true">Agoes Rudianto/NurPhoto via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Responding to the coronavirus pandemic, most American universities have <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/09/us/coronavirus-university-college-classes/index.html">suspended all campus activities</a>. Like millions of people all around the world, the lives of students all over the U.S. has changed overnight.</p>
<p>When I met my students for what was going to be our last in-class meeting of the academic year, I explained the situation and asked whether there were any questions. The first thing my students wanted to know was: “Will we be able to have a graduation ceremony?”</p>
<p>The fact that the answer was no was the most disappointing news for them.</p>
<p>As an anthropologist who <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrjCLvSQ_cw">studies ritual</a>, hearing that question from so many students did not come as a surprise. The most important moments of our lives – from birthdays and weddings to college graduations and <a href="https://theconversation.com/an-anthropologist-explains-why-we-love-holiday-rituals-and-traditions-88462">holiday traditions</a> are marked by ceremony.</p>
<p>Rituals provide meaning and make those experiences memorable.</p>
<h2>Ritual as a response to anxiety</h2>
<p>Anthropologists have long observed that people across cultures tend to perform <a href="https://anthrosource.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1525/aa.1941.43.2.02a00020">more rituals in times of uncertainly</a>. Stressful events such as warfare, environmental threat and material insecurity are often linked with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1548-1433.2010.01305.x">spikes in ritual activity</a>.</p>
<p>In a laboratory study in 2015, my colleagues and I found that under conditions of stress people’s behavior tends to become more rigid and repetitive – in other words, <a href="http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822(15)00652-1">more ritualized</a>. </p>
<p>The reason behind this propensity lies in our cognitive makeup. Our brain is <a href="https://www.edge.org/response-detail/26707">wired to make predictions</a> about the state of the world. It uses past knowledge to make sense of current situations. But when everything around us is changing, the ability to make predictions is limited. This causes many of us to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301008217300369">experience anxiety</a>.</p>
<p>That is where ritual comes in.</p>
<p>Rituals are <a href="https://www.academia.edu/35257965/The_Psychology_of_Rituals_An_Integrative_Review_and_Process-Based_Framework">highly structured</a>. They require rigidity, and must always be performed the “right” way. And they involve repetitition: The same actions are done again and again. In other words, <a href="https://www.nsnews.com/lifestyle/parenting/parenting-today-rituals-give-children-sense-of-security-1.5093339">they are predictable</a>.</p>
<p>So even if they have no direct influence over the physical world, rituals <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/cogs.12077">provide a sense of control</a> by imposing order on the chaos of everyday life.</p>
<p>It is of little importance whether this sense of control is illusory. What matters is that it is an efficient way of relieving anxiety.</p>
<p>This is what we found in two soon-to-be-published studies. In Mauritius, we saw that Hindus experienced lower anxiety after they performed temple rituals, which we measured using heart rate monitors. And in the U.S., we found that Jewish students who attended more group rituals had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.</p>
<h2>Rituals provide connection</h2>
<p>Collective rituals require coordination. When people come together to perform a group ceremony, they may dress alike, move in synchrony or chant in unison. And by acting as one, <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fpspi0000014">they feel as one</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322687/original/file-20200324-155702-5txdni.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">When people come together for a ritual, they build more trust with each other.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/vivneal/36837209242/in/photolist-Y8bjVh-bC3J7q-eeStaw-XMdjYs-XMddM9-7J5UUq-25spuzu-2cvvYFA-24rtLoS-qokd1g-4Ap1u-RsdUmy-5jrCs9-JZLUJd-9jqNXL-MicFJd-27tJAwH-RshL8m-MdpAuF-cbG1Rw-GAHSwm-HmaGHf-8set5m-6Eh7zW-7BWtf8-3vTZ9-9GHYYi-RyQpM-2dUcrfv-YaHnuE-4VxsvP-6Z8NcB-nQrRM-6ZcN9b-egfR8-2cmmYfz-28YfEU3-RZbWH4-S7Pjeb-25x9zdW-QW9cw6-RZbDki-U5Rmkw-TYUoDu-c9yabA-osmFxS-24AXygL-y7qHeK-2ahTYdw-6LobiU">Neal Schneider?flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Indeed, my colleagues and I found that coordinated movement makes people trust each other more, and even <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301051117301151">increases the release of neurotransmitters</a> associated with bonding.</p>
<p>By aligning behavior and creating shared experiences, rituals forge a sense of belonging and common identity which transforms individuals into cohesive communities. As field experiments show, participating in collective rituals increases generosity and even makes people’s <a href="https://aeon.co/essays/how-extreme-rituals-forge-intense-social-bonds">heart rates synchronize</a>. </p>
<h2>Tools for resilience</h2>
<p>It is not surprising then that people around the world are responding to the coronavirus crisis by creating new rituals.</p>
<p>Some of those rituals are meant to provide a sense of structure and reclaim the sense of control. For example, comedian Jimmy Kimmel and his wife encouraged those in quarantine to hold <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1eN49HjXec">formal Fridays</a>, dressing up for dinner even if they were alone.</p>
<p>Others have found new ways of celebrating age-old rituals. When the New York City Marriage Bureau shut down due to the pandemic, a Manhattan couple <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/21/us/new-york-couple-married-street-officiant-trnd">decided to tie the knot</a> under the fourth-floor window of their ordained friend, who officiated the ceremony from a safe distance.</p>
<p>While some rituals celebrate new beginnings, others serve to provide closure. To avoid spreading the disease, families of coronavirus victims are holding <a href="https://www.inquirer.com/health/coronavirus/coronavirus-covid-burial-funeral-memorial-service-deaths-grief-cdc-20200320.html">virtual funerals</a>. In other cases, pastors have <a href="https://www.ctpost.com/news/coronavirus/article/Second-CT-man-dies-from-coronavirus-15142235.php">administered the last rites</a> over the phone.</p>
<p>People are coming up with a host of rituals to maintain a broader sense of human connection. In various European cities, people have started to go to their balconies at the same time every day to <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-italy-france-spain-czech-republic-balcony-europe-doctor-nurse-a9403951.html">applaud health care workers</a> for their tireless service. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=40%2C75%2C4507%2C2870&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/322676/original/file-20200324-155631-5yepe1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">People in Rome gather on their balconies at certain hours, to give each other a round of applause.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Italy-Virus-Outbreak/900ef0b55e69480fb57b9ec02b649712/6/0">AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In Mallorca, Spain, local policemen gathered to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEpkUawiLKA">sing and dance in the streets</a> for the people in lockdown. And in San Bernardino, California, a group of high school students synchronized their voices remotely to form a <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/21/us/school-virtual-choir-concert-trnd/index.html">virtual choir</a>.</p>
<p>Ritual is an ancient and inextricable part of human nature. And while it may take many forms, it remains a powerful tool for promoting resilience and solidarity. In a world full of ever-changing variables, ritual is a much-needed constant.</p>
<p>[<em>You’re too busy to read everything. We get it. That’s why we’ve got a weekly newsletter.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/weekly-highlights-61?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=weeklybusy">Sign up for good Sunday reading.</a> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/134321/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dimitris Xygalatas does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
As the coronavirus spreads and life comes to a standstill, people are coming up with a host of rituals to maintain a sense of order and human connection.
Dimitris Xygalatas, Assistant Professor in Anthropology, University of Connecticut
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/132455
2020-03-05T14:17:54Z
2020-03-05T14:17:54Z
What wedding venue choices tell us about social status in Nigeria
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/318563/original/file-20200304-66052-1stmvov.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A Nigerian bride dances into her wedding venue for her big day.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Marco Longari/AFP/Getty Images</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Event centres – venues to host social events such as weddings, meetings, naming ceremonies and funerals – are ubiquitous in southwestern Nigeria.</p>
<p>Some are enclosed in a building, others are semi-enclosed or on open fields. Major conference and convention centres are often built to landmark architectural designs and are usually constructed by the government. Then there are those built by individuals or institutions for the purpose of hosting social events like birthdays and wedding receptions.</p>
<p>Event centres are categorised as big, medium and small relative to cost and size. We did <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0021909615605530">research</a> on
the reasons underlying the emerging culture of using these centres, and their symbolism. Our findings suggest that conducting weddings in event centres eased stresses associated with celebration. </p>
<p>Factors that influenced the choices people made included accessibility, proximity and cost. Their choice therefore led to social categorisation and delineation of the users as “rich” and “poor”. It conferred a valuation on the users and the event.</p>
<p>We found that the use of event centres in Ibadan was laced with social meanings. Based on their choices, people were identified as belonging to a group that enjoyed – and could afford – conspicuous consumption.</p>
<p>Studying event centre culture in southwestern Nigeria provides insight into how spaces for social events can be used as markers of class characterisation.</p>
<h2>Why event centres?</h2>
<p>Traditionally, major events such as burials, naming ceremonies, birthdays, chieftaincy celebrations and weddings were usually conducted within the compound of the celebrants or within the family’s compound.</p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/318560/original/file-20200304-66052-ksjchw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A bride and groom dance at a Nigerian wedding.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Mehmet Eser/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>But modernisation – and the changing tastes and needs of customers – have made these traditional ways of celebrating archaic. As a result, event centre culture is flourishing among the rich and upper middle classes. Weddings and other social celebrations are increasingly making use of event centres.</p>
<p>For our research, we selected event centres in Ibadan metropolis using the prices of each to form three categories of small (between $600 and $1,000), medium ($1,666 to $2,333) and big (above $2,666).</p>
<p>Some respondents said they viewed the use of event centres as trendy and fashionable. A respondent put it this way:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Yes I could have done my wedding ceremony in my wife’s family house but you see, things are changing, people don’t do that anymore, that was in the past and we didn’t want to be old school, we wanted to move with the trend. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Another reason given was the weather. A respondent said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>We used a hall for our wedding ceremony because it was during raining season. You know the kind of rain these days that are accompanied by the storm. It can spoil your occasion and again the hall we used was very close to our church so it was easier for our guests to move from the church to the reception ground.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Other factors that accounted for high patronage of event centres in Ibadan included proximity – the distance between the home of the celebrant, the church and the reception venue. Also considered important was the accessibility of the event centre and its conspicuousness and other services.</p>
<p>We also found that there was a social and class dimension to the use of the centres.</p>
<h2>Event centre as a status symbol</h2>
<p>Our research found that the hiring of top-end event centres boosted people’s social status and made them feel more esteemed. The hiring of event centres filled social needs – like prestige – of the users. </p>
<p>A highly placed individual in the society with influential friends and relatives would want an event centre that befits their social status. They would choose an expensive hall.</p>
<p>The cost of hiring a venue ranged from N150,000 to N1,000,000 per day. The most expensive hall in Ibadan metropolis cost Naira 1 million ($5,076). It was patronised mostly by people of distinction and class. </p>
<p>As one individual told us:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Individuals and government officials patronise us, what I know is that people want to use this facility for their occasion and if they can afford it, why not? The place is beautiful; we have enough parking space and good customer service.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>We found that big halls were for “big people” who wanted luxury and spaces they believed equated with their social standing and placed them at a high economic and social level. If they hired an expensive venue it showed that they had carved out a social and economic niche for themselves. It meant that they continued to distinguish themselves.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/132455/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Oludayo Tade does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Hiring top-end event centres boosts people’s social status and made them feel more esteemed.
Oludayo Tade, Researcher in criminology, victimology, electronic frauds and cybercrime, University of Ibadan
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/131235
2020-02-09T07:41:30Z
2020-02-09T07:41:30Z
Nigeria’s tradition of matching outfits at events has a downside
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314009/original/file-20200206-43108-10z4xtq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A funeral party wearing matching attire, or aso ebi. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Supreme Lace/Wikimedia Commons</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Matching outfits made from identical fabric. They’re a regular feature at parties, weddings and funerals in Nigeria, spotted across social media and fashion pages. They’re called aso ebi, a <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/Yoruba">Yoruba</a> phrase meaning ‘family cloth’.</p>
<p>This communal cultural tradition serves to publicly display one’s social relations. Sociability among the Yoruba can be said to be centred around family ties. </p>
<p>But in time, <a href="https://shop.vlisco.com/en/aso-ebi-styles-dresses">aso ebi</a> has come to include distant relatives and friends, birthing new and unintended forms of social anxiety. Although <a href="https://www.academia.edu/25700834/Commodifying_the_fabric_of_solidarity_Aso-_ebi_and_dynamics_of_social_relations_in_Ibadan">my study</a> on aso ebi was published in 2014, the findings remain relevant. If anything, the practice is growing among Nigerians.</p>
<p>While the intended functions of aso ebi remain a show of love, identification, solidarity and social bonding, its commodification is also leading to conflict and the unequal treatment of party attendees. </p>
<p>This is because those lacking the financial power to buy the clothes are left out in the distribution of souvenirs and even food. They experience social exclusion, embarrassment and withdrawal from group participation. The commodification of aso ebi frustrates its intended social bonding.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313720/original/file-20200205-149796-1wzboew.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A Nigerian bride is surrounded by her bridesmaids and friends, who are dressed in aso ebi.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Paschal Okwara/Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>A family affair</h2>
<p>The origin of the aso ebi tradition is unknown, but our participants over the age of 60 believed it came about mainly to identify immediate family at funerals. A culture expert participating in our study said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The purpose of aso ebi is to easily identify the children of the deceased during funerals, and not relatives nor friends and not for other occasions.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>However, younger participants believed that aso ebi was any cloth chosen for any occasion.</p>
<p>The inherent purpose of buying uniform dress is closely tied to the idea of solidarity. When many people are communally clad, it suggests that the party host is popular and well networked. Party conveners are sometimes evaluated on the turnout of people at their event. A large crowd of attendees confers honour on the organiser among their family and friends.</p>
<h2>From funerals to fashion</h2>
<p>But for certain traditional practices to remain suitable, they must reflect modification in terms of content and purpose. In contemporary times, aso ebi has undergone transformations. Its use has been extended from family members (ebi) to co-workers (alabasisepo), friends (ore), alajogbe (co-residents), neighbours (aladugbo) and other well-wishers.</p>
<p>People unrelated by blood but connected socially form a new order of social relations. Party-goers support the celebrant in cash, gifts and in kind by becoming involved in planning the event. Although people welcome cash support, attendance boosts the morale and social value of the event. It also adds aesthetics in the form of fashion. A female civil servant in our study said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The main reason that we buy and sell aso ebi is to make the event colourful, unique and beautiful.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The unique colours and styles of the aso ebi wearers adds value to an event.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313721/original/file-20200205-149747-6ly0dy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Nigeria’s vice president attends a public funeral with an entourage dressed in black aso ebi.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Emmy Ibu/AFP/Getty Images</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Attending the social event is as important as agreeing to buy the cloth for it. People are invited through invitation cards and reminded through text messages on their phones. A poorly attended event can be a shameful affair and so a broader group of social connections is now invited to the event. A participant in our study asserted:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I have attended weddings that I did not know the couple at all or the families of the couple but I wore the same aso ebi that everybody wore at the occasion. This is not the way it is supposed to be.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>The downside</h2>
<p>Solidarity is reciprocated consciously or unconsciously in the culture of aso ebi. This is in line with the Yoruba maxim, “Gbami nigba ojo, kingba e nigba erun”, “One good turn deserves another.” </p>
<p>A person who does not rally round a celebrant may not be given support from the organiser of the event. Embedded in this is the purchase and wearing of aso ebi, which may be the basis of social differentiation at the event. The seating arrangement, serving of food and distribution of gifts are at stake. </p>
<p>A participant in our study told us that she attended the wedding ceremony of a junior colleague and could not spare the money to buy the aso ebi, which was sequins and satin lace. The price was put at N11,500 (US$76). She decided to use what she had to buy a gift for her colleague, but paid the social price for that decision when she arrived at the wedding:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>We were not allowed to enter the venue because they said they wanted people of a high class to have a seat. Seats had name tags but my colleagues defiantly occupied a table, at least four of whom had bought the aso ebi. But trays of food were passing over our heads without any being placed on our table. It took about one hour before there was anything to eat. At that point I stood up and left because I felt so bad.</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/313723/original/file-20200205-149757-mscib5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Party-goers dressed in aso ebi heading to the venue.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Jeremy Weate/Flickr</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Entrenching inequality</h2>
<p>Those who cannot buy aso ebi and stay away from events may be avoiding being hurt or embarrassed, but they stand to lose the opportunities that lie in group convergence and networking. </p>
<p>This form of exclusion reduces social cohesion and pits people against one another. Ultimately, wealth affects relationships, participation, social integration and power. Inequality becomes entrenched by beautiful clothing.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/131235/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Oludayo Tade does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
As the Nigerian tradition of dressing in matching outfits for special events continues to grow in popularity, it brings with it a threat of social exclusion.
Oludayo Tade, Researcher in criminology, victimology, electronic frauds and cybercrime, University of Ibadan
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/127977
2020-01-10T13:43:56Z
2020-01-10T13:43:56Z
Matching Vietnamese brides with Chinese men, marriage brokers find good business – and sometimes love
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308686/original/file-20200106-123381-1reidzv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C2500%2C1699&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A growing number of young Vietnamese women are marrying foreigners, mostly from China and South Korea. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Vietnam-Brides-for-Sale/f078d0ba303d4673aa7a342a3ddabb59/15/0">AP Photo/Chitose Suzuki</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>China has <a href="http://econweb.umd.edu/%7Eli-x/JMP_LiX.pdf">24 million more men than women of marriageable age</a>, putting some bachelors in a tough spot.</p>
<p>In rural areas of China, three decades of sex-selective abortions under the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/02/china-population-control-two-child-policy">one-child policy</a>, which ended in 2015, have created a severe shortage of women. And with China’s rapid economic development taking place primarily in cities, ever <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11516-017-0026-1">more young women</a> are leaving the impoverished countryside for urban areas in search of jobs and a better life. </p>
<p>Rural Chinese men aren’t the only ones struggling to find mates. Divorced men across China may find themselves involuntary bachelors for a different reason: They cannot afford another wedding. In China, the groom’s family is expected to buy a house for the new couple and <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-35727057">give the bride’s family a dowry</a> that averages US$20,000. </p>
<p>And, like women worldwide, Chinese woman are also <a href="https://theconversation.com/chinas-marriage-rate-is-plummeting-and-its-because-of-gender-inequality-66027">getting married later</a>.</p>
<p>As a result, ever more Chinese men are looking abroad to find partners. And <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/rural-chinese-men-are-buying-vietnamese-brides-for-3200-2014-8">most</a>, it seems, have their sights set on Vietnam.</p>
<h2>Cross-border relationships</h2>
<p>The number of international marriages in China is difficult to confirm since some foreign brides are <a href="https://www.scmp.com/week-asia/society/article/2151075/vietnam-without-love-child-brides-china">smuggled into the country</a> and therefore not registered with the authorities. </p>
<p>But estimates from Xinhua News Agency indicate that there are <a href="http://www.xinhuanet.com/world/2015-07/22/c_128044889_3.htm">over 100,000 Vietnamese women</a> in China who are married to Chinese men. That far outpaces the number of foreign women from other countries who are married to Chinese men. An estimated <a href="http://www.cankaoxiaoxi.com/china/20170502/1944064.shtml">7,000 brides in China</a> come from Cambodia, for example. </p>
<p>My <a href="https://wenku.baidu.com/view/6f48aa15b7360b4c2e3f64c2.html?re=view">research shows</a> that Vietnamese women usually get to know their Chinese husbands in <a href="https://www.ixueshu.com/document/f21b7d05519c591162cd1fe64d5a786d318947a18e7f9386.html">one of four ways</a>.</p>
<p>Many cross-cultural relationships begin when Chinese men meet their future wives while working in Vietnam. Vietnam and China share a 1,000-mile, largely unprotected border without major natural barriers. The two countries have forged close economic ties through a <a href="https://www.export.gov/article?id=China-Trade-Agreements">free-trade agreement effective since 2010</a>. </p>
<p>Single Chinese men are more likely than their married counterparts to work abroad, according to China’s <a href="http://www.stats.gov.cn/tjzs/tjsj/tjcb/dysj/201509/t20150902_1239123.html">National Bureau of Statistics</a>. The linguistic, religious and cultural similarities between China and Vietnam tend to facilitate these international relationships. </p>
<p>In some border areas of China, <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273313260_Transnational_Undocumented_Marriages_in_the_Sino-Vietnamese_Border_Areas_of_China">more than 50%</a> of all Chinese-Vietnamese marriages begin with this kind of an international connection. Citizens from border areas of both countries <a href="http://www.gov.cn/bumenfuwu/2019-08/06/content_5419078.htm">don’t need a passport</a> to cross back and forth. </p>
<p>The men and women who meet this way know each fairly well before they wed. My research finds that their marriages generally fare well. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308687/original/file-20200106-123403-1rn93z9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Chen Shih Mei-ying, originally from Vietnam, poses with her Taiwanese husband Lin Wen-jui in their food shop in Taipei, July 1, 2008.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Vietnam-Brides-For-Sale/aae191876d9d4e2983df0d1a340259ee/8/0">AP Photo/Wally Santana</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>The marriage business</h2>
<p>Not all Chinese-Vietnamese weddings have romantic origins. </p>
<p>In at least <a href="http://www.shehui.pku.edu.cn/upload/editor/file/20180829/20180829111047_7417.pdf">5% of marriages between Chinese men and Vietnamese women</a>, the wives were trafficked into China. These are usually poor <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5683360/pdf/41256_2017_Article_49.pdf">girls and women</a> who are lured to China – often by a friend or relative – with an offer of lucrative employment. </p>
<p>There, they are generally first sold into prostitution in big cities. After several months or years of forced sex work, they are sold again – this time to poor, older Chinese men looking for wives. These men often know their brides are trafficking victims, according to <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273313260_Transnational_Undocumented_Marriages_in_the_Sino-Vietnamese_Border_Areas_of_China">a 2014 study</a>.</p>
<p>Other Chinese bachelors use professional marriage brokers to meet Vietnamese women, <a href="http://www.bjnews.com.cn/news/2019/06/21/594010.html">an illegal but booming industry</a> in China. On average, a broker makes a profit of <a href="http://www.chinareform.net/index.php?m=content&c=index&a=show&catid=56&id=22569">$4,000 out of each deal</a>, according to the Chinese magazine China Reform.</p>
<p>There are no official statistics on this business, so it is difficult to know how many Chinese-Vietnamese marriages start with paid brokers. But <a href="http://www.shehui.pku.edu.cn/upload/editor/file/20180829/20180829111047_7417.pdf">one study</a> suggests that in border areas about 10% of Chinese-Vietnamese marriages are brokered online. The percentage is likely much higher inland, since single Chinese men elsewhere have little opportunities to meet Vietnamese women directly. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/308688/original/file-20200106-123368-1q8dmgo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Bachelors look for love at a mass matchmaking event in Shanghai, China, Nov. 9, 2013.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/China-Matchmaking/36e8f9f309064f91b6e442e3fb4e9d41/12/0">AP Photo/Eugene Hoshiko</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In Vietnam, where women experience <a href="http://www.cicred.org/Eng/Seminars/Details/Seminars/FDA/PAPERS/62_LeBachBelanger.pdf">significant social pressure</a> both to marry and to support their families financially, China is seen as a rich country with great professional opportunities. Vietnamese women may advertise with a marriage broker because marrying a Chinese man seems likely to check off all those boxes. South Korea is also seeing a growing <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/world/asia/30brides.html">share of Vietnamese wives</a>.</p>
<p>Online marriage brokers do not always provide these woman with accurate information about their clients, <a href="http://www.chinareform.net/index.php?m=content&c=index&a=show&catid=56&id=22569">my research finds</a>. </p>
<p>Vietnamese women are often promised a young, never-married, rich Chinese husband to cajole them into international marriage sight unseen. In China, some will be surprised to learn that their new fiance is poor, older than expected and, commonly, divorced.</p>
<p>Some deceived Vietnamese brides ultimately return home, either before or shortly after getting married in China. In such cases, the man’s marriage brokers will usually help their Chinese clients with divorce for an additional fee – but they generally refuse to refund the man’s money, <a href="http://news.sohu.com/20150306/n409391839.shtml">sometimes spurring lawsuits</a>.</p>
<h2>Marriage frauds</h2>
<p>Chinese men looking for wives abroad are vulnerable to a variety of marriage schemes.</p>
<p>Chinese media frequently reports on <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/micro-reading/interface_toutiao/2016-03-04/14585044.html">cases of marriage frauds</a> in which Vietnamese women working with Chinese marriage brokers go to Chinese villages, pretend to fall in love with a local man, marry him and move into his home. Shortly after his family has paid the dowry to the bride – which is about 70% less than the dowry for a Chinese bride — the woman runs away. </p>
<p>China has even seen cases of <a href="https://www.scmp.com/news/china/article/1660337/100-vietnamese-brides-flee-bachelor-husbands-hebei">organized marriage frauds</a> in which dozens of foreign brides arrive to neighboring Chinese villages, then run away simultaneously. </p>
<p>Three Chinese families I interviewed about the marital prospects of their single sons expressed a desire to “get” a Vietnamese woman for their child to marry. </p>
<p>But, they told me, with all the scammers out there: “We don’t dare.”</p>
<h2>Happy marriages</h2>
<p>Despite a view in China that men who marry internationally are <a href="http://www.chinareform.net/index.php?m=content&c=index&a=show&catid=56&id=22569">“losers” unable to find suitable native partners</a> and that their wives are gold-diggers, about half of the Vietnamese-Chinese couples interviewed reported being happily married.</p>
<p>“I’ve got a wife and a son,” Jingang, a 31-year-old chef from Henan Province who married a Vietnamese woman told me, smiling at the thought of the family waiting for him back home. “What else do I need?” </p>
<p>His wife, for her part, said life in China is better than in her home country.</p>
<p>From one happy Chinese-Vietnamese couple, more international matches are often made. Women introduce their friends and relatives back in Vietnam to other Chinese bachelors – no broker needed.</p>
<p>[ <em>Like what you’ve read? Want more?</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=likethis">Sign up for The Conversation’s daily newsletter</a>. ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/127977/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Wei Li does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
China has 24 million more men than women of marriageable age, putting some bachelors in a tough spot. Some are now looking abroad for wives – and many have their hearts set on Vietnam.
Wei Li, Associate Professor of Sociology, Frostburg State University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/127303
2020-01-08T11:42:00Z
2020-01-08T11:42:00Z
Marriages and civil partnerships are regulated by the government – here’s why that’s a problem
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307893/original/file-20191219-11900-v44sxa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=42%2C33%2C5565%2C3699&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/very-beautiful-wedding-amazing-couple-1028647459">Pavlo Melnyk/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Did you get engaged over Christmas or New Year? If so, congratulations. Perhaps you have already been to the register office <a href="https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnerships/give-notice">to give official notice</a> of your intentions, or you might have already chosen your <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/civil-marriages-and-partnerships-approved-premises-list">government-approved venue</a>. </p>
<p>Or you might be one of the many mixed-sex couples planning a civil partnership following the <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50953410">recent change in the law</a>, which previously allowed only same-sex couples to be civil partners.</p>
<p>But in all the excitement have you stopped for a moment to think about why the state should be allowed to play a role in your relationship at all? Why not just celebrate your wedding or partnership ceremony wherever and whenever you want without worrying about telling civic officials, or having your details included in some <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/events-recorded-in-england-wales-and-overseas/events-recorded-in-england-and-wales">giant government register</a>? </p>
<p>Indeed, marriage and domestic relationships existed for thousands of years before the state got involved. In England and Wales, state regulation of marriage came in only with <a href="https://www.parliament.uk/about/living-heritage/transformingsociety/private-lives/relationships/overview/lawofmarriage-/">Lord Hardwicke’s Marriage Act in 1753</a>, and registration only in <a href="https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/1836_(33)_Registration_of_Births_%26c._A_bill_for_registering_Births_Deaths_and_Marriages_in_England">1837</a>. In Scotland state registration of marriage was not introduced till <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2576279/">1854</a>, while civil partnerships were legally established in Britain <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2004/33/contents">only in 2004</a>.</p>
<h2>State discrimination</h2>
<p>There would be outrage – or perhaps incredulity – if the government put forward a scheme for people to register their sexual partners, so why do most people so willingly go along to register their life partners with the state?</p>
<p>One reason why people do this is because the government discriminates in favour of those in a marriage or civil partnership <a href="https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance">in the tax system</a>. But it should not be doing this. After all, in <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2010/15/section/8">the Equality Act 2010</a> the UK government itself forbade its citizens <a href="https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/advice-and-guidance/marriage-and-civil-partnership-discrimination#act">from discriminating against those married or in a civil partnership</a>, and surely this prohibition should go both ways and apply to the state as well as its citizens. </p>
<p>Another reason is to do with inheritance. At the moment, a surviving spouse or civil partner stands to inherit automatically <a href="https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/">if their partner dies without having made a will</a>, but the partner not in a marriage or civil partnership <a href="https://farewill.com/blog/why-unmarried-couples-need-to-have-wills-25UKHRJRPCQqUyMC06cKSg">could be left with nothing</a>. Again, this seems to be unjust discrimination. In <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1985/68/part/IV/crossheading/succession-on-death-of-tenant">other areas of law</a> the state treats surviving partners that were not married or in a civil partnership equally with those that were, so why can they not be treated equally when it comes to inheritance?</p>
<p>I propose that <a href="http://www.lawandreligionuk.com/2018/06/21/the-state-and-marriage-cut-the-connection-2/">the government stop</a> registering and regulating marriages and civil partnerships and instead let its <a href="https://www.freeruk.com/blogposts/daniel-hill-my-proposal-to-set-marriage-free/">citizens decide</a> how they want to organise their private lives in the way they think best. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=377&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=377&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=377&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=473&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=473&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/307719/original/file-20191218-11900-1rr78bc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=473&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Get married when you want, where you want.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-caucasian-couple39s-wedding-day-1183307899">Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Objections</h2>
<p>It may be argued that the state needs to register who is married or in a civil partnership in order to protect children. Of course protection of children is very important, but not all of those married or in a civil partnership have children, and not all parents are married or in a civil partnership. Indeed, <a href="https://www.gov.uk/register-birth">registration of children</a> is a separate legal duty on all parents whether or not they are married or in a civil partnership.</p>
<p>Some people may also want to keep the law against <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Vict/24-25/100/crossheading/bigamy">bigamy</a>, but this law seems to be pretty toothless, since the state already allows its citizens to have as many consenting sexual partners simultaneously as they wish – it just doesn’t allow them to register them all as spouses or civil partners (without divorce intervening). </p>
<p>People might also want to keep the law banning <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo6/12-13-14/76/schedule/FIRST/part/I/crossheading/prohibited-degrees-of-relationship">marriage or civil partnership with a close relative</a>. But surely it’s sufficient that <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Eliz2/4-5/69/part/I/crossheading/incest/enacted">incest</a> is already a crime, <a href="https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/sex-with-an-adult-relative-penetration/">with a penalty of up to two years’ imprisonment</a>?</p>
<p>On the other hand, the important laws forbidding forced marriage and child marriage should remain, as these already apply to all ceremonies of marriage, including those not intended to be legal <a href="http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2014/12/section/121/enacted">under English law</a>.</p>
<h2>The proposal in practice</h2>
<p>This is not about the abolition of marriage or domestic relationships. Rather, my suggestion is that the state should return ownership of them to the people.</p>
<p>Weddings and civil-partnership ceremonies would no doubt still look very much like they do at the moment – the difference would just be that no certificate would be sent off to a government body. And they could take place any time and anywhere – even outdoors, which is <a href="https://www.confetti.co.uk/wedding-advice/ceremonies/why-you-cant-get-married-where-you-want">currently unlawful in England</a> – and with or without a religious minister, as desired by the parties.</p>
<p>So if you have just got engaged to be married or are planning to form a civil partnership, may you enjoy life-long happiness. Just don’t be fooled into thinking that your relationship is meaningful only because some government-issued piece of paper says it is.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/127303/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Daniel Hill does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Marriage and domestic relationships existed before the state, and should be returned to the people, not regulated by the government.
Daniel Hill, Senior Lecturer in Philosophy, University of Liverpool
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/116841
2019-06-05T10:57:38Z
2019-06-05T10:57:38Z
Chinese brides wear as many as five dresses – yet provide inspiration for a sustainable fashion future
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277612/original/file-20190603-69067-18m7yy7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/chinese-wedding-traditional-dress-bride-bouquet-220249756?src=LOlhuul3XGYGph_sOYZmCg-1-1">Ahlau/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Across the Northern hemisphere flowers are blooming, days are warmer and birds are singing. In China, where I live, there is another highly visible indicator of the season: couples dressed in their wedding day finest are to be seen posing in the most picturesque spots around the country, with a photographer in tow.</p>
<p>Weddings in China have always been opulent – with elaborate, detailed embroidered dresses and a prolonged series of ritual events – but in recent decades, as the country positions itself as a global leader and incomes increase, they have become even more so. Increasing Chinese popular awareness of global wedding dress and cultural trends have added to this opulence, with ever-increasing mix between Western and local traditions.</p>
<p>Weddings are now so central to Chinese culture that the small district of Tiger Hill in Suzhou has become the centre of the wedding dress industry, reportedly producing up to <a href="http://usa.chinadaily.com.cn/epaper/2011-08/15/content_13113202.htm">80%</a> of the world’s wedding dresses. This surge in in the industry has been fed by a new generation of Chinese brides and grooms that have become not only brand-conscious but brand-reliant.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277623/original/file-20190603-69079-sak5tq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Suzhou, China.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/ancient-town-suzhou-709025839?src=GGtwBocS_Pxmm_ZtrCnf8g-1-9">4045/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In a time in which sustainability has become a key goal for the global fashion industry, this trend is a worry. Here, issues in fast fashion seen all over the world, from wastefulness in production to cheaply produced goods made with poor quality synthetic fabrics, are magnified. And the wedding dress is an apt symbol for the excesses of the industry – usually a phenomenally expensive item, only ever worn once.</p>
<p>But despite the increasing rampant consumerism seen in Chinese wedding dresses, China does offer some kernels of hope for a world – and an industry – increasingly concerned by sustainability.</p>
<h2>Tiger Hill</h2>
<p>The city of Suzhou has for centuries been known throughout China as the city of silk and embroidery. But as the modern wedding culture of today’s China evolved, Tiger Hill Bridal Market area has developed: first as a centre for wedding photography studios, a place of studios and equipment, and then as a centre of wedding dress production and distribution. Situated just a few hundred metres from one of Suzhou’s famous tourist destinations, Tiger Hill, (<em>Hu Qiu</em> in Chinese) has morphed into a treasure trove of lace, taffeta and beads.</p>
<p>Shops in Tiger Hill offer every kind of imaginable incarnation of what a wedding dress could be, from a Han-Dynasty fantasy garment to a red or white princess-style gown to replicas of dresses worn by famous royal brides. While many shops cater to private customers, wholesalers who distribute the dresses via digital platforms also represent a large section of the area’s clientele.</p>
<p>The district, like many in China, has undergone rapid transformation since the turn of the new millennium, fuelled by an increasing number of consumers with a growing disposable income and associated wedding budget. Tiger Hill Wedding Market is now the place to buy your wedding dress in China as well as around the world online. Brides-to-be can source dresses at all price ranges, from ¥100 to ¥100,000 (approximately £9 to £9,000).</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277629/original/file-20190603-69055-1v20891.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Shopping for dresses in Tiger Hill.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Sara Sterling</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>But a key difference between Suzhou and other wedding dress markets is the prevalence of a rental culture, similar to the Western practice of suit and tuxedo rental for grooms and groomsmen. </p>
<p>This is a hangover from the pre-Deng Xiaoping Open era before the late 1970s, in which extravagant consumption practices were simply not available. And with a minimum of three dresses involved in the Chinese wedding day, it is no small wonder that renting remains well-established.</p>
<h2>Multiple dresses</h2>
<p>In the UK and other Western countries, it is becoming increasingly popular for brides to wear two versions of a bridal dress on the wedding day, with one reserved for the formal ceremony itself and the other for the evening reception, designed with comfort and ability to dance in mind.</p>
<p>But in China, brides wear up to five dresses. While two or possibly three dresses may have been standard in previous decades, this number has increased in recent years. The ideal bride in China is multi-dimensional, with dresses that represent not only different sections of the wedding day schedule, but different levels of the self. From a tightly fitted and hand-embroidered <em>qi pao</em>, to a voluminous white or cream-coloured dress reminiscent of the days of Marie Antoinette, brides aim to show themselves in different aspects throughout the day.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=394&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=394&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=394&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=495&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=495&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/277624/original/file-20190603-69075-4icygs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=495&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The photoshoot.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/xiamen-china-25-october-2018-couples-1279451590?src=LOlhuul3XGYGph_sOYZmCg-2-15">Steve Heap/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>There is one for the morning, when the bride is picked up by her groom after a series of verbal challenges and games. There is one for the walk into the banquet hall and arrival and one for the ceremony. Then another for the series of toasts as the bride and groom make their way around to the dozens of tables of well-wishers and red packet-givers, and perhaps even one more dress for the final hours of the evening.</p>
<p>This might sound over the top and rather wasteful. And indeed, increasing consumer demand for a larger number of dresses for each significant event of the wedding day has placed pressure on the wedding dress industry to produce a larger volume of dresses to meet these requests. </p>
<p>But it doesn’t have to be, especially if China doesn’t lose the tradition of renting these dresses. And with the price of rental dresses, or a rental dress package, costing up to tens of thousands of yuan, dress rental is still commonplace amongst Chinese brides, due to both economic necessity as well as the nature of the ceremony, with its multiple dress changes.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-dangers-of-being-a-bridesmaid-in-china-mean-some-brides-now-hire-professionals-65589">The dangers of being a bridesmaid in China mean some brides now hire professionals</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Despite this, the practice of owning one’s own wedding dresses – rather than renting – has grown in the last few decades. The new generation of Chinese brides and grooms increasingly look to demonstrate their cultural capital and social status via their wedding get-ups.</p>
<p>So now more than ever single use wedding dress presents a challenge to the wedding industry both in China and around the world: a prompt for us to consider an alternative future for wedding dresses. Re-vamping a rental culture would be one way of doing this. Another might be reconsidering the designs of wedding dresses. One of my colleagues has designed a dress made from fabric that dissolves when you wash it. Or we might emphasise dresses that can be re-purposed for other occasions. These are just two design ideas that may be the way forward for sustainably-minded brides.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/116841/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sara Sterling does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
This might sound over the top and rather wasteful. But rental wedding dresses are not uncommon.
Sara Sterling, Lecturer in Industrial Design, Xi'an Jiaotong-Liverpool University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/100169
2018-09-06T21:04:05Z
2018-09-06T21:04:05Z
Does being smart and successful lower your chances of getting married?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235297/original/file-20180906-190673-d80m8d.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The myth that educated women over 40 find it impossible to find a mate to marry prevails - but it has long been debunked. What are the actual impacts of higher education on a women's 'marriageability?' Here a wedding pic from Cambridge Mill, Cambridge, Canada.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Anne Edgar/Unsplash</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Having a committed partner and good family relationships are important to most people. Countless novels, fairy tales and movies have told romantic stories about love that endear us to the idea of romantic love.</p>
<p>Sociologists, however, are less romantic. When it comes to falling in love, it’s not just fate or serendipity that bring people together—social factors matter. </p>
<p>How so? My research illustrates how our attitudes towards Mr. or Ms. Right are filtered through the lens of social norms. </p>
<p>Though some of us are too young to remember, about three decades ago, the marriage prospects of highly educated women were the subject of headlines and made the cover of <em>Newsweek</em> magazine in 1986.</p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229345/original/file-20180725-194137-8v9q9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p><a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2016/06/more-likely-to-be-killed-by-a-terrorist-than-to-get-married/485171/">The memorable media messages</a> produced strong feelings of anxiety in a lot of women. The story as portrayed in the romantic comedy <em>Sleepless in Seattle</em> went like this: “It’s easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40.” </p>
<p>The conventional wisdom was that women over 40 who had achieved a certain level of professional (and educational) goals had a lower marriageability. </p>
<p>Is it actually true? Do women who spend years in school getting a good education sacrifice their chances of getting married? </p>
<p>Actually, no. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00710.x">Research</a> has consistently found that American women with at least a bachelor’s degree are more likely to get married and stay married than less educated women. </p>
<p>In fact, only a few years after the <em>Newsweek</em> story, family sociologist Andrew Cherlin <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/269187">debunked</a> the misleading and incorrect messages about professional women’s marriage prospects.</p>
<h2>Husband-wife education gaps</h2>
<p>In the United States, women lagged behind men in college completion before the 1980s, but by 2013, women earned about 60 per cent of bachelor’s and master’s degrees and half of <a href="https://muse.jhu.edu/book/22186">all doctoral degrees</a>. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12372">My research</a> took data from the 1980 U.S. Census and the 2008–2012 American Community Surveys to examine spousal pairings, and looked at education and income levels among newlywed couples. I found that between 1980 and 2008–2012, women were increasingly likely to marry men with less education than they had. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235062/original/file-20180905-45172-182x13g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">By 2013, women in the U.S. earned 60 per cent of bachelor’s degrees.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Andre Hunter/Unsplash</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The proportion of couples in which the husband had more education than the wife dropped almost 10 percentage points, from 24 per cent in 1980 to 15 per cent in 2008–2012 (see the blue line in the zoomable graph, right). During the same period, the share of couples in which the wife had more education than the husband increased from 22 per cent to 29 per cent (the red line). </p>
<p>So, during 2008–2012 in the U.S., women were more likely than men to be the more educated spouse in marriage. </p>
<p>Since men have historically been expected to be the breadwinner and “the head of” the family, I wondered if these education pairings changed their breadwinner roles?</p>
<h2>Does education equal more power in marriage?</h2>
<p>The pairing between a better-educated wife and a less-educated husband does not mean that the wife is the person with greater resources or power in marriage. </p>
<p>In general, women continue to marry men whose income exceeds their own. This is not surprising, given that women still <a href="http://stateofworkingamerica.org/charts/median-real-earnings-by-gender-from-1973-2010/">earn less</a> than men and the husband breadwinning norm <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0003122416655340">persists</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235134/original/file-20180906-191868-1eetkyn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Women tend to marry men whose income exceeds their own.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Sebastian Pichler/Unsplash</span></span>
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</figure>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12372">My research</a> found that the tendency for women to “marry up” in terms of income was greater when they “married down” in education. In other words, men and women still tend to form marriages in which the wife’s socioeconomic status does not exceed that of the husband. </p>
<p>Although men have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.00491.x">placed more importance</a> on the financial prospects of a potential spouse over time, they may value women’s high status <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/qje/qjv001">only up to the point</a> where their partner’s status exceeds their own. In this way, men may hesitate to marry women who have both more education and higher income than they do. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, since income inequality has increased dramatically in recent decades, women may <a href="https://doi.org/10.1162/0033553053327498">have more to lose</a> if they marry down economically.</p>
<h2>‘Left-over ladies’ in China</h2>
<p>So, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00710.x">in the U.S.</a>, highly educated men and women are already more likely than their less educated peers to get married. By contrast, in China, highly educated women (but not highly educated men) may face great challenges finding a spouse. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.2753/CSA2162-0555450403">Chinese women have outpaced men in college enrolment as well.</a> <a href="https://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol31/45/">My previous research</a> on contemporary urban China found that as education increases for women, the likelihood of them finding a match for marriage decreases, whereas the possibilities increase for men.</p>
<p>Chinese media and the public use a derogative term, “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leftover-Women-Resurgence-Inequality-Arguments/dp/1780329210">leftover ladies</a>,” to describe these urban, highly educated single women. In China, the low marriage prospects of highly educated women are closely linked to the roles that husbands and wives are supposed to play in the family. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=750&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=750&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=750&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=942&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=942&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/235130/original/file-20180906-191853-10i0j8s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=942&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">As education levels increase for women in China, their chances of finding a mate decreases. Photo: Shandong Middle Rd, Shanghai.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Yiran Ding/Unsplash</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The breadwinner role of the husband and the homemaker role of the wife remain <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs11205-014-0623-9">firmly in place</a> in Chinese families. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.01122.x">In this context</a>, career-oriented women are commonly criticized as “selfish,” “non-feminine” and “irresponsible to household needs,” whereas husbands’ failure to fulfil the provider role is often the primary source of marital conflict.</p>
<p>Unlike the U.S., where men now tend to marry women more educated than themselves, the traditional practice of men marrying women with less education than they have persists in China. </p>
<p>Although both China and the U.S. witnessed the gender-gap reversal in higher education, the U.S.-China contrast in marriage patterns suggests that structural factors, such as gender norms in society, play an important role in shaping individual marriage prospects. </p>
<p>It was a widely held social norm that men should marry women who were less educated than themselves. This norm worked well in the past when a college education was uncommon and men generally had more education than women. In the U.S., <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.00491.x">the cultural evolution of mate preferences</a> corresponds to changes in men’s and women’s educational attainment. </p>
<p>But in urban China, this is not the case. The movement toward egalitarian gender roles does not go hand-in-hand with rapid social changes. Highly educated Chinese women gain little from the male breadwinner-female homemaker marriage; instead, they are likely to delay or even forgo marriage. </p>
<p>Since the reversal of the gender gap in education is <a href="https://www.russellsage.org/publications/rise-women">happening almost globally</a>, it would be great to get more information so we can understand how the growing female advantage in education will impact marriage and family lives.</p>
<p>When it comes to marriage, it’s not fate and love that bring people together—social factors, like education and prevailing gender norms, matter.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/100169/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Yue Qian does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
The old myth that it’s impossible for educated women over 40 to get married still lingers. Actually, educated women are doing OK in the U.S. In China, however, the story changes.
Yue Qian, Assistant Professor of Sociology, University of British Columbia
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/94719
2018-05-17T10:40:54Z
2018-05-17T10:40:54Z
In the US, fairy-tale royal weddings clash with reality
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219232/original/file-20180516-155584-qi81lt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A tour guide holds up a flag with the faces of Britain's Prince Harry and his fiancee, Meghan Markle.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Britain-Royal-Wedding-Windsor/191514194fd048b58d1315309add2327/17/0">AP Photo/Alastair Grant</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Unless you’ve been living in outer space, you probably know that on May 19, Prince Harry will marry Meghan Markle. Many Americans <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/royal-wedding-bbc-america">will be setting their alarms</a> to wake up early to watch the wedding, and some are even <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/travel/5018156/royalty-mad-americans-expected-to-flood-to-uk-for-prince-harrys-wedding-to-meghan-markle/">flying to London</a> to partake in the big day. </p>
<p>Of course, there are always those <a href="https://www.esquire.com/uk/life/a20680141/can-we-all-stop-pretending-to-care-about-the-royal-wedding-please/">who insist that none of it matters</a>. </p>
<p>But royal weddings do matter. Since the wedding of Queen Victoria to Prince Albert on Feb. 10, 1840, they’ve shaped the expectations Americans have about their own nuptials.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/book.php?isbn=9780520300491">In my book on romance and capitalism</a>, I look at how engagements, weddings and honeymoons went from small affairs to spectacular, pricey events. Even though <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/04/12/share-of-married-americans-is-falling-but-they-still-pay-most-of-the-nations-income-taxes/">most Americans are unmarried</a>, <a href="http://news.gallup.com/poll/163802/marriage-importance-dropped.aspx">most of us would like to be</a>. But marriage means a wedding, a ceremony that needs to be “perfect” in every way – an unrealistic standard that’s been shaped, in part, by what people see when they watch royal weddings and other celebrity weddings.</p>
<h2>Like a Disney movie</h2>
<p>At her wedding, Victoria wore a white gown, rejecting the traditional red dress. Within a few years, American women’s magazines <a href="http://time.com/3698249/white-weddings/">were promoting</a> the white wedding dress as a symbol of purity and innocence.</p>
<p>Victoria’s wedding was arguably the first celebrity wedding. <a href="https://daily.jstor.org/how-the-media-made-queen-victoria/">It received massive media coverage</a>, with stories circulated by telegraph to newspapers and magazines around the world. Upon learning about the trumpeters and the music, the glittering decor and luxurious attire, readers could imagine what a perfect wedding might look like. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=533&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=533&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219230/original/file-20180516-155623-o0dzzt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=533&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Queen Victoria famously eschewed the traditional red wedding dress, instead opting for white.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1d/Victoria_Marriage01.jpg/1024px-Victoria_Marriage01.jpg">Royal Collection</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Queen Victoria also wore a diamond engagement ring. Like the white wedding dress, the diamond engagement ring would eventually become a nearly mandatory item for a perfect love story. Of course, <a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/book.php?isbn=9780520240087">decades of clever advertising</a> from De Beers also helped.</p>
<p>Fast forward to Charles and Diana’s wedding in July 1981. After decades of social upheaval and a sexual revolution, <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/?utm_term=.5e50b4e9998e">divorce rates in the U.S. had peaked</a>. </p>
<p>But Charles and Diana offered a public rebuttal to the social forces that were rejecting marriage. Their wedding played out like a Disney fairy tale, from Diana’s arrival in a white dress <a href="https://us.hellomagazine.com/imagenes//brides/2014090120744/princess-diana-wedding-dress-going-home/0-110-274/diana1--z.jpg">with a 25-foot train</a> to Charles’ Prince Charming-esque <a href="https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/galleries/x701/66318.jpg">military attire</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=472&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=472&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=472&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=593&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=593&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218848/original/file-20180514-100697-ljhnq6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=593&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Lady Diana Spencer waves to crowds from a horse-drawn carriage en route to St. Paul’s Cathedral on the day of her wedding.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Associated-Press-International-News-United-King-/005ec2384ee4da11af9f0014c2589dfb/36/0">AP Photo</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Around the world, <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/july/29/newsid_2494000/2494949.stm">750 million</a> people tuned in to watch the vows. In the U.S., spending on weddings <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/megkeene/heres-what-my-parents-1974-wedding-would-cost-in-2017?utm_term=.lrLWQlXWL#.kmWW962Wa">soon began to climb</a>. </p>
<p>While it’s hard to know whether the subsequent rise in spending on U.S. weddings was tied to the royal ceremony, perhaps couples longed to mimic, in some small way, Diana and Charles’ dream wedding. </p>
<h2>Any little girl can marry a prince</h2>
<p>In 2011, the next royal wedding took this fairy tale narrative one step further when Prince William chose “commoner” Kate Middleton as his bride. Kate came from <a href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a3476/how-kate-middleton-imploded-the-british-class-system-and-heralded-the-rise-of-a-brand-new-social-stratum/">a middle-class background</a>, and this was a central component of the media narrative. </p>
<p>I went to London for Kate and William’s wedding to conduct research for my <a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/book.php?isbn=9780520300491">book on romance</a>. </p>
<p>Nearly everyone I interviewed in the crowd that day talked about how the wedding gave them hope during troubled times. And a lot of the people I met were Americans. One young American woman told me she came all the way to London to see the wedding because it was a happy ending – and she needed happy endings. </p>
<p>“I don’t go to a movie unless I know it has a happy ending,” she said. “I don’t read a book unless it does.” </p>
<p>Another young American studying at Oxford told me, “It’s a true life fairy tale, isn’t it? A commoner marrying a prince.” </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=353&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=353&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=353&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219231/original/file-20180516-155555-149yvzw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Prince William drives his wife Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, away from Buckingham Palace after their wedding at London’s Westminster Abbey.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/APTOPIX-Britain-Royal-Wedding/39f6d64b55284215810042eec96bcc72/206/0">AP Photo/Daniel Ochoa de Olza</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>Indeed, the couple followed the formula of any good fairy tale romance: An ordinary woman is plucked from her life in squalor by a dashing prince. </p>
<p>Now, with American Meghan Markle set to marry Prince Harry, another fairy tale plot twist is in the works. Meghan, <a href="https://www.vogue.com/article/meghan-markle-biracial-identity-politics-personal-essay">who has a black mother and white father</a>, shows that any little girl – <a href="https://www.thelily.com/why-black-women-are-celebrating-meghan-markles-engagement-2/">no matter her race</a> – can marry a prince.</p>
<p>It’s fitting that this royal wedding will take place exactly 50 years after <a href="https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/388/1/case.html">Loving v. Virginia</a>, which overturned bans on interracial marriage in the U.S. </p>
<h2>Happily ever after … or not</h2>
<p>The end? Not quite. Reality tells a different story.</p>
<p>Even as Americans might claim that love is blind, when we do marry, we continue to marry people who are pretty much <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/23/upshot/rise-in-marriages-of-equals-and-in-division-by-class.html">like us</a> – with the same education level, similar levels of earning power and mostly from the same racial background.</p>
<p>And even as Americans are <a href="https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost-2016">spending more</a> than ever on weddings, <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-fewer-people-getting-married-60301">fewer and fewer</a> are actually getting married. </p>
<p>Perhaps it is because many cannot afford their “perfect” wedding, so they’re simply putting off marriage. I’ve interviewed a number of couples who have already been living together, and maybe even have children together, but are just now getting married. The reason? They wanted to be able to afford their dream wedding.</p>
<p>But it seems that all of the time, energy and money spent on weddings isn’t actually making us very happy. In fact, <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/spending-less-wedding-save-marriage">research has shown</a> that the more a couple spends on a wedding, the more likely it is that the resulting marriage will end in divorce.</p>
<p>In the 2017 World Happiness Report, economist Jeffrey Sachs <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/mar/20/norway-ousts-denmark-as-worlds-happiest-country-un-report">wrote</a> that Americans were looking for happiness “in all the wrong places.”</p>
<p>Attempting to mimic the luxurious pomp of royal weddings – as if it will somehow negate <a href="https://theconversation.com/as-the-royal-wedding-approaches-what-can-one-of-the-worlds-greatest-novels-teach-us-about-marriage-95359">the work needed to make a marriage truly successful</a> – might just be one of those wrong places. But it won’t stop many Americans from trying.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/94719/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Laurie Essig does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Royal weddings have shaped how Americans imagine their own dream weddings. Unfortunately, they don’t come cheap – which might explain why fewer and fewer are tying the knot.
Laurie Essig, Director and Professor of Gender, Sexuality, & Feminist Studies, Middlebury
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/96708
2018-05-16T20:16:03Z
2018-05-16T20:16:03Z
From Victoria to Diana to Meghan, royal weddings have shaped bridal fashions
<p>We might not know who designed Meghan Markle’s wedding gown until she walks up the aisle at St George’s Chapel on Saturday to marry Prince Harry, but we can be assured that her dress will inspire bridal trends for years to come. And if history is a guide, Markle, like the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, will have scrutinised dresses worn by past royals before making her important decision.</p>
<p>Some have suggested <a href="https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/948088/royal-wedding-2018-meghan-markle-wear-white-dress">Markle may not wear white </a> because she is divorced (she was married to producer and actor Trevor Engelson until 2013). Yet the age-old tradition of wearing white to the altar has not always been wedding etiquette. Until the mid 19th century, white - being the colour of mourning for French royalty - was rarely seen. Black was a favourite for Scandinavian brides. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=779&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=779&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=779&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=979&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=979&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219122/original/file-20180516-104267-5ho1r6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=979&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Queen Victoria started a trend when she wore white to her wedding with Prince Albert.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wedding_of_Queen_Victoria_and_Prince_Albert.jpg">Wikimedia</a></span>
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<p>An important precedent was set when white was chosen by Queen Victoria for her marriage to Prince Albert in 1840. The Queen selected this pure colour as a sign of frugality, not wishing to appear ostentatious in front of her British subjects. She did, however, forbid anyone else from wearing white to her wedding and had the pattern for her dress destroyed so it couldn’t be copied.</p>
<p>Queen Victoria’s choice of an orange blossom wreath and tulle veil rather than a more traditional bonnet instigated a fashionable following that continues to this day.</p>
<p>Royal weddings have provided some of our most memorable bridal moments. The Queen Mother married King George VI in 1923 in a simple wedding dress very much in keeping with an era in which Chanel made unstructured styles de rigueur. Many weddings of the 1930s were second marriages due to the carnage of the first world war and this resulted in a major shift in traditional wedding attire. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=828&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=828&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=828&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1040&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1040&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/219124/original/file-20180516-104267-mx2e2r.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1040&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">The wedding of the Queen Mother, Elizabeth, and King George in 1923.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_of_Prince_Albert,_Duke_of_York,_and_Lady_Elizabeth_Bowes-Lyon#/media/File:Wedding_of_George_VI_and_Elizabeth_Bowes-Lyon.png">Wikimedia</a></span>
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<p>Most notable was the famed wedding of the Duke of Windsor to twice-divorced, American Wallis Simpson. In keeping with the austere times, Wallis wore a simple pale blue dress designed by Mainbocher who was responsible for much of her everyday wardrobe. It became one of the most copied dresses of the times.</p>
<p>Due to austerity measures following the war, fabric for wedding dresses was scarce during the 1940s. Ingenious solutions were sought, with parachute fabric or the heavier silk used to contain the supplies dropped from military aircraft reused to created bridal gowns. </p>
<h2>Ration coupons for a queen</h2>
<p>Even the then-Princess Elizabeth had to use clothing ration coupons to pay for the heavy duchesse satin of her 1946 wedding dress. The British government allowed her an extra 200 coupons since her gown was viewed as a national investment, being a product of its time. The train was symbolic of rebirth, hope and growth in the period following the world war.</p>
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<p>Kate Middleton’s 2011 wedding gown, designed by Sarah Burton, creative director of Alexander McQueen, was a 1950s-style dress made with satin gazar, lace and organza, nipped in at the waist with a full skirt designed to resemble an opening flower. </p>
<p>It was inspired by the iconic dress Grace Kelly wore for her 1956 marriage to Prince Rainer III of Monaco. Created by Helen Rose, a costume designer in the wardrobe department of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, this gown was made with taffeta and embellished with 125-year-old lace. It had three petticoats: a smoothing one, a ruffled one and a foundation petticoat.</p>
<p>Kelly’s became the most admired wedding dress of the decade and, like the Duchess of Cambridge’s traditional dress, had an instant impact on style history, inspiring thousands of copies worldwide.</p>
<p>But let’s not forget <a href="https://honey.nine.com.au/2017/09/22/11/41/kate-middleton-second-wedding-dress">Kate’s other wedding dress</a>: a second McQueen strapless evening dress <a href="https://www.popsugar.com.au/celebrity/Kate-Middleton-Pictures-Second-Sarah-Burton-McQueen-Gown-Royal-Wedding-16131254">worn later that day</a>. Although she may not have invented the two-dress concept, it has become very popular since.</p>
<p>Royal wedding dresses have both reflected and set the trends of the day. Princess Diana’s voluminous ivory wedding gown worn in 1981 was in true 1980s “Dynasty” style. The Emanuel design was totally excessive with layer upon layer of silk taffeta and encrusted with over 10,000 pearls. </p>
<p>Even with its dramatic 7.62 metre train, the dress was emulated the world over and the puffy-sleeve trend was born. Although it was not to everyone’s taste, we are still talking about it.</p>
<p>The dress of the royal bride speaks to its time. While the bridal gown is a garment unrivalled in its emotional appeal, the royal wedding dress often carries deep messages that are important to the era it was created. Markle’s will no doubt be photographed, scrutinised and copied by future brides who dream of fairytale romances - the stuff of Hollywood and her former world.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/96708/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Robyn Gibson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
When Queen Victoria donned white for her wedding in 1840 she started a trend that continues today. Other royal weddings have proved to be just as influential.
Robyn Gibson, Associate Professor, Visual & Creative Arts Education, University of Sydney
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.