In previous posts I have sung the praises of my little Max who was sleeping and feeding like a champion – but a few weeks ago all of that changed!
Not the feeding part. He has continued to eat so well that at five months he weighs more than 9.5kg and is tracking well for a career as the first Australian albino sumo wrestler.
But his sleeping is not what it was. I’d always presumed his ability in this regard was due to his full tummy, but despite continuing to guzzle milk as fast as my body could produce it, Max started waking up more and more frequently overnight.
Was I feeding him too much? Was he sick? Was he enjoying his daytime cuddles so much he wanted some at night time too? Was he breaking out of his swaddle and punching himself awake at night?
Tackling the problem like a scientist, I decided to systematically test each possibility. Improved swaddling seemed like the easiest thing to start with.
I googled “how to swaddle an active baby” and 20 seconds later I was watching an instructional video on YouTube professing to show the best technique for swaddling Houdini babies.
That night my own Houdini baby slept 12 hours straight through … thanks YouTube!!
The next day a friend showed me an app to encourage kids to brush their teeth. I have never been so happy to embrace a shameless marketing campaign.
My daughter and I now do the Nurdle dance together every night before bedtime and her teeth have never been cleaner.
In the good old days I presume that new parents would look no further than their own mums or dads for advice on special tricks or hints about parenting. I have to confess it never even occurred to me to ask my mum.
Granny vs Google
Have grandparents been superseded by Google as a reservoir of handy hints?
Who needs Granny’s favourite banana bread recipe when taste.com.au will give you 56 different recipes – each with individual reviews and rankings.
I had presumed that little kids would at least always view their parents as a fountain of ultimate wisdom. But that was before reading a recent review in Science by Alison Gopnik, who likens the learning behaviour of young children to the self-driven pattern of testing and observation used by adult scientists.
Professor Gopnik claims that children learn complex ideas about the world through play and observation. Like scientists, children are not solitary learners, but benefit greatly through interaction with their peers and instruction from those around them.
So just as I was beginning to wonder what my daughter was learning in the sand-pit or whether I was about to be overlooked in favour of the next parent-replacing app, she turned and asked me if I was a doctor.
We had been playing a game of doctors and nurses when I explained that both her aunt Sam and aunt Pippa were “REAL” doctors that fixed people when they were sick or hurt.
I paused for a minute trying to think of the best way to explain my own job to a three-year-old. “I am a doctor,” I said; “but I don’t fix people, I teach people … I am a teaching doctor”
My daughter’s eyes lit up as she gave me a huge smile and asked if I could teach her how to balance on one leg like the lady on Playschool.
It was nice to feel appreciated!
Dale Bloom
Analyst
"Professor Gopnik claims that children learn complex ideas about the world through play and observation."
Probably the most secure and safest way for children to learn about the world around them is through their immediate mother and father, and then through their brothers and sisters, and then through their grandmother and grandfather, and then through their uncles, aunts and cousins etc.
In this way, the child is gradually exposed to the wider world, which is not that safe and secure.
However, that was in the past, and we now have the bright new world of Femworld, where the father is not believed necessary, which takes out at least one set of grandparents and other relatives.
Indeed, these articles seem to be about the mother and “her” child.
It remains to be seen if humans are versatile enough to cope with Femworld.
Marion Brook
BA, Grad Dip Ed (student)
Dale Bloom said:
"Indeed, these articles seem to be about the mother and “her” child."
Seeing as it is a mother who is doing the writing, that would make sense. If you want to read what it's like for a father to care for "his" child, then try reading stuff written by dads. Here's one you may like:
http://daddownunder.wordpress.com/
Dale Bloom
Analyst
Marion Brook
Yes, should be more of it.
It is so tiresome hearing the feminist rhetoric of “women and THEIR children”
Craig Minns
Self-employed
Dale, you make a good point. The extended family is fast becoming a thing of the past for Anglo families. While homespun wisdom isn't always the best advice, it's usually a pretty good place to start, as a somewhat proven technology...
I think you're being overcritcal of Dr Carter's focus though. This is a series specifically about her experience as a mother and high-achieving scientist. Her husband is facing challenges of his own, I'm sure, but they're not necessarily relevant to her situation.
Dale Bloom
Analyst
I have known teachers complaining that their students were not being properly raised by their parents, and the teachers were expected to act as parents to the students.
This is quite ironic, as the education system is saturated with feminism.
I have also seen whole books on parenting that rarely mention the father, and excluding the father now seems the norm in our feminist society.
Eliminating the father also eliminates half the grandparents and extended family, which means the child has less safety and security, and less diversity of people to learn from.
Sue Ieraci
Public hospital clinician
"the education system is saturated with feminism."
I don't think so.
If the education system were a feminist environment, there would be more male primary-school teachers, more female principals and overall higher salaries.
Dale Bloom
Analyst
I won’t go into the facets of feminism in the education system, but I do think teachers are right in one way.
No teacher should be made a parent to children, as the real parent is unlikely to have any idea about what goes on in a school or classroom, and in the case of public schools, there is basically zero a parent can do about something they don’t like anyway.
In the case of grandparents, they will become an extinct species, if fatherhood declines any further.
Society, or might I say feminism, has a choice.
Craig Minns
Self-employed
Actually Sue, the evidence is strong that teaching is what women do when they're not good enough to do anything genuinely intellectually challenging. As a result the "profession" (it's more like a trade, really) has fallen into disrepute with those who could do something else if they chose, so they do.
When young men aren't much good at intellectual endeavours they choose to do dirty, dangerous jobs that pay well to a large extent. For some reason this isn't a popular path for women.
Christine Brook
logged in via Facebook
Watch the video CraigDale - the first half could have been written for you.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-10-10/international-reaction-to-gillard-speech/4305294
Craig Minns
Self-employed
What does this have to do with the topic?
It's simply a rant from a rather unpleasant woman who obviously has a problem with men.
How many exclusively male organisations has Tony Abbott been involved in founding? Have any had as their express purpose the removal of women from Parliament? Have any had as a secondary or tertiary or any other level of purpose the removal of women from public office?
How many exclusively female orgnisations with the express purpose of removing men from Parliament has Julia Gillard set up?
I think that speaks for itself...
Gillard hates men with a passion - her speech made that clear. Still, it seemed to play well to the doctor's wives crowd - you know, the ones that don't actually HAVE to work, so they live off their husbands...
Lynne Newington
Lynne Newington is a Friend of The Conversation.
Researcher
Give me grandmothers everytime.
It's so impersonal, like buying take-away food, no loving thought gone into the preparation.
Comment removed by moderator.
Dale Bloom
Analyst
Lynne Newington
So why did you leave out the grandfather?
Shirley Pipitone
Independent social researcher
Fortunately people are immensely different from each other and that includes babies. In the 1970s when my three children were born, swaddling was the norm but baby number 2 was the ultimate Houdini baby. He would sleep for 12 hours but in the morning I'd find him with blankets scattered everywhere! I gave thanks for the all-in-one baby suit that kept him moderately warm through Canberra nights. But as a parent, I worried about whether he was really warm enough. For my own satisfaction, I discovered that under-arm swaddling worked. He could thrash his legs and arms about all night and still stay wrapped up! I didn't need google, just a little thought about his individuality.
So there's some grandmotherly-type advice from a yet-to-be grandmother. Think of the individual.
Pat McKelvey
Coffs Harbour reader
Olivia, I'm the family googler, and I've got 6 grandkids ranging from 19 to 3 with a couple of new ones due in the next few months.
My kids (and friends) ask me all the time to research things for them, partly because they don't have the patience to find trustrworthy sources. For example, I send them the Consumer Medicine Information sheets their should have included with their medication.
And Grandma and Grandpa may not always know best. The 8 years between my own 3 kids was long enough for so-called best practice to change radically.
The eldest was supposed to sleep on her stomach, the second had to sleep on her side (with a ti-tree bark mattress or pillow), while my youngest slept on his back.
I'm sure I'll soon be googling controlled crying vs patting to sleep and when to introduce the first solid food and what it should be... if I'm asked.