tag:theconversation.com,2011:/uk/topics/gay-parents-18384/articlesGay parents – The Conversation2018-09-13T06:54:44Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/969712018-09-13T06:54:44Z2018-09-13T06:54:44ZWhat LGBTQI+ parents want from their children’s schools<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/235580/original/file-20180910-123101-j9svsc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Schools need to do their homework too to be inclusive for LGBTQI families. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/female-couple-talking-kitchen-their-daughter-411211528?src=Ors8qwHWx74Tpz2mmB5rGw-1-40">Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>While the number of LGBTQI+ parented families in the UK is <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/bulletins/familiesandhouseholds/2017">increasing</a>, schools are not always sure how to react when such a family enters their community. School policies tend to focus on LGBTQI+ students, and to be concerned mainly with preventing and responding to bullying. Yet <a href="https://www.routledge.com/LGBTQI-Parented-Families-and-Schools-Visibillity-Representation-and/Carlile-Paechter/p/book/9781138940727">our research</a> suggests that while LGBTQI+ parents and their children value such protection, they want more from schools. </p>
<p>As part of a wider study, we interviewed 26 parents and carers and 19 children from LGBTQI+ parented families about their relationships and experiences with the children’s schools and school communities. All but two of the families in our study were out to at least some people at their child’s school. </p>
<p>The exceptions were two families in which one parent was a woman of trans history. In one case, her son was still at school, but no one at the school knew that she had transitioned, so she worried constantly that someone would find out and her son would be bullied. For the same reason, the other woman of trans history had waited until her children had grown up before coming out to anyone. Most families, however, were entirely open about themselves, though the children were sometimes more cautious than their parents about revealing their family structure.</p>
<h2>What do families want?</h2>
<p>Both the parents and children we spoke to were emphatic that they wanted to be both visible, and treated as a family like any other in the school. In order to achieve this, parents usually outed themselves at the earliest opportunity. One mother told us:</p>
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<p>I do it as soon as I can because I actually think, well, if people are homophobic then they can just decide to diss me now. I don’t want to get to know people and find they have dodgy views and all that sort of stuff.</p>
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<p>However, treating these families like any other family requires schools to take positive action. First, parents want to be acknowledged on all official forms, which should have space for as many parents as a child has, without gender labels, and listed equally. The parents in our study were annoyed when this didn’t happen. One mother told us that when faced with a form with a space for “father’s name” and “mother’s name”: “I am always crossing it out and it always comes back the same.”</p>
<p>Both parents and their children also wanted all parents acknowledged on occasions such as Mothers’ or Fathers’ Day. They complained about children only being allowed to make one card, or, in some instances, having to stay in at playtime if they wanted to make a second. </p>
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<span class="caption">Room for all kinds of families.</span>
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<p>Parents wanted schools to use books, images and examples in the curriculum that reflected the existence of families like theirs. They also said that just the presence in the school of LGBTQI+ visibility posters such as those produced by <a href="https://www.stonewall.org.uk/resource-type/posters">Stonewall</a> made them feel welcome and that their children would be supported by the school.</p>
<h2>Better sex ed</h2>
<p>We also heard impatience from both parents and children about the heterosexual focus of sex and relationships education. One parent complained that at their children’s school it was limited to: “Put a condom on a banana and what types of contraception there were.”</p>
<p>Such limited sex education led to other problems, and some of the children we interviewed complained about their classmates’ ignorance of how LGBTQI+ families are formed. One child told us that:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>In the early years people sort of like ask, ‘how are you alive if like you only have two mums?’ And like you have to answer them. It takes quite a long time to get through that.</p>
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<p>Another child told us that: </p>
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<p>Once or twice I’ve been asked crazy things like … were you born half and half? Half in one and half in the other?</p>
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<p>Such comments point to the need to teach much younger children about different ways in which babies can be conceived. Leaving it to upper junior or even secondary school is too late, as many children will have already come across LGBTQI+ parented families by then. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/sex-education-gets-a-revamp-but-parents-still-allowed-to-opt-kids-out-99551">Sex education gets a revamp but parents still allowed to opt kids out</a>
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<p>Almost all the children we interviewed talked about how much they disliked the use of “gay” as a playground term of abuse. They said that the word remains pervasive, and they didn’t like having to feel responsible for challenging it. Evidence from <a href="https://inclusiveeducation652853906.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/School_LGBT_Friendly/">an evaluation</a> by one of us, Anna Carlile, of interventions led by Educate & Celebrate, an organisation that delivers training to schools to help them prevent homophobic and transphobic bullying, suggests that schools can make considerable inroads into stopping the use of the word “gay” as a term of abuse if they take it as seriously as, say, racism.</p>
<p>None of these issues is hard to address, and they all matter considerably to LGBTQI+ parented families. Making the effort to be more inclusive will both support children with LGBTQI+ parents and provide a better education for all children.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/96971/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Anna Carlile is the external evaluator for the charity Educate & Celebrate. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Carrie Paechter does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Schools don’t always know how to support LGBTQI+ parented families. Here are some suggestions for how they can.Carrie Paechter, Professor of Education and Director of the Nottingham Centre for Children, Young People and Families, Nottingham Trent UniversityAnna Carlile, Senior Lecturer in Inclusive Education, Goldsmiths, University of LondonLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/956182018-04-30T15:38:43Z2018-04-30T15:38:43ZHow shared parental leave gives adoptive parents real time to build a new family unit<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/216498/original/file-20180426-175058-61spd7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption"></span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/home">from www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The latest <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tKBxpH9e70">video</a> in the government’s <a href="https://sharedparentalleave.campaign.gov.uk/">campaign</a> to promote shared parental leave features two dads. The video, which we helped to develop, is a timely reminder that the implications of shared parental leave extend beyond a family with two biological parents. </p>
<p>Shared parental leave gives <a href="https://www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay">eligible parents flexibility</a> to split up to 50 weeks of leave after having a child, or within one year of adopting a child. They can also receive statutory pay for 37 weeks of that time, of £145.18. It replaces any untaken <a href="https://www.gov.uk/employers-maternity-pay-leave">maternity leave</a> – after the first period of up to four weeks which are compulsory – and is in addition to the fathers’ right to take two weeks of <a href="https://www.gov.uk/paternity-pay-leave">paternity leave</a>.</p>
<p>Reports since the introduction of shared parental leave in 2016 have tended to focus on the small number of fathers taking it up, suggested to be <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43026312">around 2%</a>. But the entitlement offers real possibilities for new parents in all types of family set up. </p>
<p>Rob and Richard, the two dads featured in the government’s video and whose experiences are further explored in an article in <a href="http://www.gaytimes.co.uk/life/105158/how-shared-parental-leave-for-this-gay-couple-has-been-very-positive-and-hugely-rewarding/">Gay Times</a>, are a case in point. They are adoptive parents who both took shared parental leave. </p>
<p>When adopting as part of a couple, parents have to choose who will be the primary adopter. This parent is entitled to adoption leave, similar to maternity leave. However, adoption is not the same as giving birth. For a start, the primary adopter does not require birth recovery time. And while there are plenty of demands on all new parents, adoption can involve a very unique set of challenges.</p>
<p>As Richard highlights in the video, the very early period of adoption is primarily taken up with introductions. This means that for someone taking the traditional two-week paternity leave, it leaves insufficient bonding time.</p>
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<h2>Time to become a father</h2>
<p>Reliable statistics that break down the take up of shared parental leave by family type or gender identity do not exist. But so far, debates around shared parental leave have mainly focused on heterosexual fathers and whether they want, or are allowed, to take leave. The implication is that mothers “gatekeep” or are unwilling to give up “their” leave and that at the same time, workplaces, families and friends can’t see men as anything other than breadwinners. </p>
<p>But in some family situations, shared parental leave can make a huge and important difference. Our recent <a href="http://www.research.mbs.ac.uk/makingroomfordad">research</a> with a range of fathers has highlighted a number of concerns regarding <a href="http://blog.policy.manchester.ac.uk/posts/2018/01/are-some-fathers-being-ignored-in-family-friendly-policy-initiatives/">eligibility, low pay</a>, and what a system of transferred maternity leave implies to new dads – <a href="https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/workflex-blog/shared-parental-leave-opportunities-barriers-sharethejoy-campaign/">positioning them as secondary parents</a>. </p>
<p>Our research also shed light on the great enthusiasm with which men spoke of their time on leave. “Just do it” was the overwhelming message they had for other dads. </p>
<p>Higher numbers of fathers sharing care has the potential to redress the gender pay gap. The fathers we interviewed gave compelling examples of how shared parental leave had benefited their partners’ careers, as well as promoting “involved fatherhood”. However, one thing that stood out to us was how the leave had helped couples to build <a href="https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/shared-parental-leave-videos/">their new family unit</a>. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/why-flexible-working-is-key-if-shared-parental-leave-is-to-have-a-lasting-impact-on-the-gender-pay-gap-94150">Why flexible working is key if shared parental leave is to have a lasting impact on the gender pay gap</a>
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<p>Fathers discussed developing “empathy”, “shared understandings” and feeling “closer together” with their partner. They developed common understandings of the highs and lows of being a new parent. </p>
<p>For adoptive families, who are suddenly given responsibility for one or more children, this shared understanding can be very important. According to <a href="http://www.adoptionmatch.org.uk/statistics/">adoption data from 2017</a>, the majority of children waiting to be adopted were two years or older and in sibling groups of two or more. Adopting can be a steep learning curve. </p>
<h2>Extend, don’t replace</h2>
<p>The next step is to make shared parental leave more widely available. The TUC notes that around 40% of working fathers <a href="https://www.tuc.org.uk/news/two-five-new-fathers-won%E2%80%99t-qualify-shared-parental-leave-says-tuc">are not eligible</a> for it. </p>
<p>The MP Tracy Brabin is <a href="https://tracybrabinmp.com/2018/02/21/tracy-brabin-mp-proposes-trailblazing-bill-to-give-self-employed-equal-access-to-shared-parental-leave/">leading the fight</a> to extend leave to self-employed and agency workers, and make it an entitlement from the first day a person starts a job. Unlike maternity leave, fathers are currently not eligible for paternity or other types of parental leave from their first day of employment – they need to have banked <a href="https://www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay/eligibility">at least 26 weeks</a> with their current employer. </p>
<p>A recent <a href="https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201719/cmselect/cmwomeq/358/358.pdf">report</a> by MPs on the Women and Equalities Select Committee suggested replacing shared parental leave with an extra 12 weeks of better rewarded paternity leave. </p>
<p>For adoptive parents, an extension to paternity leave would surely be welcomed, yet not at the expense of shared parental leave, which allows up to 50 weeks to be shared. Parents can choose to take up to six months together, or share periods of leave. Either could work well for adoptive parents, particularly with older children.</p>
<p>The government’s new video will hopefully encourage people to look beyond the take-up of parental leave in the traditional set up of two biological heterosexual parents. Although shared parental leave may be flawed in <a href="https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/workflex-blog/where-next-for-shared-parental-leave-reflections-on-fathers-and-the-workplace-recommendations/">parts</a>, it provides an important first step towards allowing eligible families greater choice in the first year of care.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/95618/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emma Banister receives funding from the Economic and Social Research Council and British Academy/Leverhulme.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ben Kerrane receives funding from the Economic and Social Research Council and British Academy/Leverhulme. </span></em></p>Shared parental leave can make a huge difference to all parents – not just families with two biological parents.Emma Banister, Senior Lecturer, University of ManchesterBen Kerrane, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, Lancaster UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/474892015-09-22T03:54:54Z2015-09-22T03:54:54ZWhat gay fathers can teach us about feminism and parenthood<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/95331/original/image-20150918-24289-1jxngai.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Gay fathers like Jason Howe, left, and his husband Adrian Perez-Boluda - pictured with their three-year-old twin daughters in Los Angeles - can teach us a great deal about parenting beyond traditional roles.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Once upon a (fairly recent) time, fathers went out to work and paid the bills while mothers stayed home to raise children and kept the house spotless. But this <a href="http://www.economist.com/news/britain/21573548-forget-traditional-family-there-are-now-three-distinct-models-associated">nuclear family</a> model - a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman with children - has begun to change in the past few decades.</p>
<p>Many men in today’s generation of “new fathers” no longer act solely as emotionally distant, bread-winning patriarchs. Instead, they are more <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/06/12/they-dont-just-change-di_n_3429122.html">hands-on</a> than their own fathers. They do the school run and learn to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/doyin-richards/21-photos-that-depict-true-modern-fatherhood_b_5718727.html">plait their daughters’ hair</a>.</p>
<p>But such men still <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/doyin-richards/i-have-a-dream-picture-like-this_b_4562414.html">make headlines</a> and unsettle traditional ideas of what a dad should or shouldn’t be. </p>
<p>There is, however, a group of men who do not often feature in discussions about parenthood: gay fathers. They frequently operate outside traditional gender roles and provide a model of “conscious parenting” that could offer some important lessons. What lessons might they have for heterosexual parents looking to change their dynamics?</p>
<h2>The myth of ‘natural motherhood’</h2>
<p>Many men feel as uncomfortable or unwelcome in children’s playgroups as <a href="http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-07-01/can-gender-quotas-get-more-women-into-boardrooms-">women do in boardrooms</a>. </p>
<p>Subtle but pervasive social signifiers abound to remind men who the ‘real’ parents are. At shopping malls, for instance, we find ‘moms and tots’ parking bays and nappy changing stations often located solely in women’s bathrooms.</p>
<p>There are other significant structural barriers, too. In <a href="http://time.com/3916511/parental-leave-map/">most countries</a> women are granted far more parental leave than men. In Africa several countries - among them Sudan, Namibia, Botswana, Egypt and <a href="http://allafrica.com/stories/201204130170.html">Nigeria</a> - do not offer paternity leave as a matter of course.</p>
<p>In South Africa, where I’ve conducted <a href="http://www.hsrcpress.ac.za/product.php?productid=2332">my research</a> about fatherhood, men are given just <a href="http://mg.co.za/article/2015-04-30-00-parental-leave-for-dads-is-on-the-cards">three days’</a> family responsibility leave after the birth of a child.</p>
<p>The underlying message is clear: parenting for women is an expectation, while for men it may be a choice. </p>
<p>Even in countries with progressive laws, like <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/may/28/swedish-fathers-paid-paternity-parental-leave">Sweden</a>, <a href="http://europa.eu/epic/studies-reports/docs/rr-554-dg-employment-childcare-brief-v-0-16-final.pdf">research</a> shows that many heterosexual men don’t always make full use of the substantial parental leave available to them. </p>
<p>Why? To a large degree, our ideas about childcare remain frozen by the myth of natural motherhood, which strongly connects biology with ability. Women are the ones who give birth to children, so they are seen as inherently able to care for children. </p>
<p>There are, as a result, vastly different expectations of men and women when it comes to childcare. Mothering is culturally represented as competent, instinctive and effortless. But men who care for children are frequently <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/05/07/why-this-is-the-end-of-the-dumb-dad-era/">depicted as inept, bungling and comical</a>. </p>
<p>These stereotypes see men relegated to the position of mother’s helper. We simply do not trust men to take responsibility for childcare. </p>
<h2>Fatherhood as a feminist issue</h2>
<p>Several <a href="http://www.andreadoucet.com/on-fathering;%20http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/16/feminists-daddy-issues-feminist-fathers">feminist scholars</a> have argued that fathering, and male involvement in childcare more broadly, is undoubtedly a feminist issue. </p>
<p>When men are included in childcare, both women and men <a href="https://theconversation.com/fathers-can-be-a-crucial-factor-in-lifesaving-decisions-about-maternal-health-43735">benefit</a>. Men can enjoy different relationships with their children and are placed in a better position to share custody. Women can participate more fully in the workforce, without the <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2014/08/06/the-second-shift-at-25-q-a-with-arlie-hochschild/">“double shift”</a> that many mothers face. </p>
<p>Feminist researchers have long argued that more equitable heterosexual partnerships will be encouraged if parenting is “degendered” so that childcare is stripped of its gender bias.</p>
<p>This requires rethinking traditional gender roles and ingrained ideas about what counts as “family”. Some <a href="http://benthamopen.com/contents/pdf/TOFAMSJ/TOFAMSJ-6-18.pdf">scholars</a> have argued that one way of shifting these ideas is to increase positive representations of involved and nurturing fathers. </p>
<h2>Gay fathers expanding the possibilities</h2>
<p>Gay men should also be involved in this move. <a href="http://therevealer.org/archives/6756;%20http://www.freedomtomarry.org/page/-/files/pdfs/Bergman,%20Rubio,%20Green,%20%26%20Padron%20-%20J_%20GLBT%20Fam%20Studies%202010%20FINAL.pdf">Research</a> with gay fathers suggests that these men are expanding parenthood roles in new ways that may serve as alternative models for <em>all</em> families. </p>
<p>In addition to showing <a href="https://theconversation.com/in-families-with-same-sex-parents-the-kids-are-all-right-42605">positive outcomes</a> for children with gay parents, studies have pointed to several lessons that we can learn from these families. </p>
<p>Many gay men provide a model of “conscious parenting” in which, contrary to most heterosexuals and as <a href="http://www.hsrcpress.ac.za/product.php?productid=2332">my research</a> has shown, having children is something that is consciously planned for. </p>
<p>Gay families also take a range of shapes and forms, with multiple attachment figures. This stretches the boundaries of ‘family’ beyond biological connection and, often, racial similarity. Gay parenting men also tend to divide childcare more equitably, since there are no default gender roles to fall back on. </p>
<p>Finally, and importantly, gay fathers expand current understandings of what it means to be a man and a father to include nurturing and caring. </p>
<h2>Gay families are not a threat</h2>
<p>Drawing lessons from same-gendered parenting could allow heterosexual parents more space to negotiate traditional roles. There is formal recognition of family diversity in South Africa, such as that contained in the <a href="http://www.dsd.gov.za/index.php?option=com_docman&task=cat_view&gid=33&Itemid=39">White Paper on Families</a>.</p>
<p>But positive representations of gay men and their families are minimal in the country. Instead, much public discussion tends to centre on the possible “threats” of gay fatherhood to children and the traditional heterosexual family.</p>
<p>There is no acknowledgement in these discussions, however, that this idealised family form is not all it’s made out to be. In fact, it is a space that often fosters inequity and <a href="https://theconversation.com/violence-is-less-likely-in-homes-where-fathers-share-chores-equally-43267">even violence</a>. </p>
<p>We need to embrace different ways of being and doing family. Gay fathers have much to teach us on this journey.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/47489/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Tracy Morison does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Gay fathers often operate outside traditional gender roles and provide a model of “conscious parenting” that could offer some important lessons to heterosexual partnerships.Tracy Morison, Senior Research Specialist, Human Sciences Research CouncilLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/457152015-08-10T20:12:27Z2015-08-10T20:12:27ZYour questions answered on donor conception and IVF<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91128/original/image-20150807-4380-105jerq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The highest IVF success rates are reported in women under 30 who have an around a 26% chance of having a baby.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/34547181@N00/12034531933/">Philippe Put/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>Thanks to IVF and donor conception, infertile couples, single women and lesbian couples now have a better chance of starting families. But while you might know someone who has gone through the process, it’s rarely openly discussed.</em></p>
<p><em>Last month, you submitted your questions about donor conception and IVF and we put them – and some of our own – to The Conversation’s experts in law, embryology, sociology, psychology and donor conception.</em> </p>
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<p><em>Here are your questions answered (scroll down or click on the links below):</em></p>
<p><a href="#a_1">1. How much are men compensated for donating sperm and women for donating eggs?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_2">2. Where do donors come from?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_3">3. What sort of identifying information is filed about open donors on the information register?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_4">4. When and how should you tell children they’re donor-conceived?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_5">5. What kind of contact can donors expect when their offspring are adults?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_6">6. What are the options for gay men to start a family?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_7">7. What logistical barriers do lesbian couples face when starting a family?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_8">8. Who goes on the birth certificate when using a sperm or egg donor? And what about if the couple is same-sex?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_9">9. How much does IVF cost?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_10">10. What are the success rates for IVF?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_11">11. Is sex selection legal in Australia? Should it be?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_12">12. How long can donor eggs and sperm stay in the freezer?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_13">13. How difficult is it to obtain information about overseas donors/surrogates?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_14">14. How are donor eggs and sperm transported interstate and overseas?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_15">15. What barriers do donor-conceived people face in obtaining information about their biological mother or father?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_16">16. Can donor-conceived people access information about their donor if they were conceived before anonymity was abolished?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_17">17. Will using donor eggs from a younger woman increase my chances?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_18">18. What motivates men to donate sperm, and women to donate eggs?</a> <br>
<a href="#a_19">19. Why do I need ICSI (sperm injections) if I use donor sperm?</a> <br></p>
<hr>
<figure id="a_1"></figure>
<h2>Q1. How much are men compensated for donating sperm and women for donating eggs?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Deborah Dempsey, sociologist:</strong></p>
<p>In Australia, human eggs and sperm cannot be treated as goods that are bought or sold. It’s permissible to pay egg and sperm donors “reasonable expenses” (such as travel and parking) and medical costs incurred in the process of making their donation. Although the actual sum paid varies, for sperm donors it is generally around A$250 per donation.</p>
<p>For egg donors, it is substantially more as it’s a much more invasive medical procedure. Women are required to self-inject drugs for several days to hyper-stimulate their ovaries and need to be monitored to ensure there are no serious side effects. Eggs must be extracted by a medical practitioner, and this usually requires an anaesthetic and a half-day stay in hospital. </p>
<p>If there is too great a financial gain attached to providing eggs and sperm, one concern is that people will be motivated by money rather than a desire to help infertile men or women, and this could cause harm. Potential donors, for instance, may be more likely to conceal a health condition that could be passed on to intended parents or children because they wanted to receive the fee. </p>
<p>The issue of compensation is currently a hot topic due to a national shortage of both egg and sperm donors in Australia. In April, one group of fertility clinics <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/national/egg-donor-money-fertility-clinic-offers-women-5000-20150411-1miw9h.html">made headlines</a> for offering A$5,000 payments to cover egg donors’ expenses. Debate centred around whether this flat fee could be considered an “inducement” to participate, just as it did several years ago when a different clinic offered A$7,000 to Canadian students willing to come to Australia for a working holiday and to donate sperm. </p>
<p>I agree with a number of other scholars who argue it’s time we looked seriously at whether the principle of “reasonable expenses” is useful in taking into account the actual risks, costs and inconveniences incurred by egg and sperm donors, and the interests of children born from such donation. </p>
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<figure id="a_2"></figure>
<h2>Q2. Where do donors come from?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>Clinic-recruited donation is probably the most well-known method of donation.</p>
<p>Because of the critical shortage of donor eggs and sperm in Australia, some clinics are <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/genea-partners-with-world-egg-bank-to-provide-donor-eggs-20140815-104kh6">now recruiting</a> from overseas. This is generally permitted if it complies with local laws. </p>
<p>Patients can also ask someone they know to donate to them. This is commonly a friend or family member, however, some people may find their donor through online forums as well. Advertising online is subject to many legal restrictions, so be careful if you go down this route. </p>
<p>Sperm donation can also occur outside the clinic environment. Private insemination with donor sperm is not necessarily illegal, but potential medical and legal issues can arise from these arrangements. Unlike clinic-recruited donors, <a href="http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/meet-the-men-donating-their-sperm-for-free-online/story-fnq2o7dd-1227469657353">private donors</a> are not screened for infectious diseases and donors often advertise online without their true identities being confirmed. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91129/original/image-20150807-4384-zq28a4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The local shortage of donor sperm and eggs has promoted some clinics to recruit from overseas.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-231503803/stock-photo-specimen-collection-bottle-with-urine.html?src=Amwaah7vueTe3QARNAL5jA-1-33">Gotzila Freedom/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>There are also no restrictions on the number of children that can be fathered from a single donor in a private donation scenario. One Sydney “freelance sperm donor” claims to have fathered 18 children. In contrast, clinic-recruited donors are <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/_files_nhmrc/publications/attachments/e78.pdf">only allowed</a> to produce a limited number of families. They can also be removed from use if abnormalities are detected in the offspring. </p>
<p>There are pros and cons to both clinic and private donation, however, patients should seek medical and legal advice if they choose the latter. </p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_3"></figure>
<h2>Q3. What sort of identifying information is filed about open donors on the information register?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Fiona Kelly, legal scholar:</strong></p>
<p>Under <a href="http://www.nhmrc.gov.au/guidelines-publications/e78">Australian guidelines</a>, all donors in Australia are required to be “open donors”. Anonymous donors ceased to be available across the country in 2005, though some states abolished anonymity earlier.</p>
<p>The guidelines require fertility clinics in Australia to collect the following information from sperm and egg donors:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>name, any previous name, date of birth and most recent address</p></li>
<li><p>details of medical history, family history, and any genetic test results that are relevant to the future health of the person conceived by egg or sperm donation (or any subsequent offspring of that person) or the recipient of the donation </p></li>
<li><p>details of physical characteristics.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Clinics are also obliged to tell egg and sperm donors that it is their ethical responsibility to keep the clinic informed about any changes to their health that may be relevant to the persons born or the recipients of their donation, and about changes to their contact details. </p>
<p>Clinics are not required to proactively gather additional health information or change of address details. So it’s possible that the information a donor-conceived person receives when they turn 18 is not up to date.</p>
<p>In some states and territories, such as <a href="http://www.bdm.vic.gov.au/home/births/donor+treatment+registers/central+register.html">Victoria</a> and <a href="http://www.health.nsw.gov.au/art/Pages/The-Central-Register.aspx">New South Wales</a>, donor information is held in a central register, while other states and territories require the clinics to maintain the data.</p>
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<figure id="a_4"></figure>
<h2>Q4. When and how should you tell children they’re donor-conceived?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Damian Adams, donor conception researcher:</strong> </p>
<p>Discovering you’re donor-conceived later in life <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10967012">can potentially lead to</a> confusion, anger and distrust of the family members who kept the secret from you. </p>
<p>Some researchers argue that telling children earlier in life causes <a href="http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/24/8/1909.abstract">less harm</a>. Associate Professor Ken Daniels, a sociological researcher into donor conception, <a href="http://www.booktopia.com.au/psychoanalytic-perspectives-on-building-a-family-with-donor-conception-katherine-fine/prod9781782202035.html">writes</a> that “a child should never be able to remember a time when he/she did not know”. Others <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14512252">suggest</a> it should at least occur before the identity construct window of adolescence occurs. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=487&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=487&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=487&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=611&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=611&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91132/original/image-20150807-27622-b62p2l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=611&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Telling children early seems to work best.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/blushingmulberry/4080606133/">Laura Smith/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>As there is currently no evidence that more problems arise by telling early, doing so while young has the least potential to create problems. </p>
<p>There are numerous books on the market that can assist parents in how to tell, as well as numerous online resources. One of the better ones is run by the <a href="http://www.varta.org.au">Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority</a> (VARTA) which has been running very successful “Time to Tell” campaigns for many years and has numerous informative pages on their website dealing with this.</p>
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<figure id="a_5"></figure>
<h2>Q5. What kind of contact can donors expect when their offspring are adults?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Roger Cook, psychology scholar:</strong> </p>
<p>When offspring reach adulthood it’s possible for them to initiate contact with their donor, the outcome of which is <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3949499/">varied</a>. Some offspring reach strong relationships with their donor parent and some do not. There are, of course, some offspring who do not want to make contact. </p>
<p>Typically, however, if both the donor and the offspring are enthusiastic and prepared for contact, an on-going relationship can emerge but it’s <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3949499/">not usually</a> a parenting relationship. Often, the young adult can develop and maintain positive relationships with his or her biological father or mother but retain affection for the parents who raised them.</p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_6"></figure>
<h2>Q6. What are the options for gay men to start a family?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Deborah Dempsey, sociologist:</strong></p>
<p>Australian gay men’s pathways to creating families with children are diverse, although relatively limited compared to men in the United States. </p>
<p>Australian gay men’s history of involvement in known sperm donation for lesbian and single heterosexual friends and acquaintances dates from at least the 1980s. Some men are able to negotiate “donor dad” or parental relationships with children conceived in this way. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=410&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=410&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=410&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=516&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=516&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91134/original/image-20150807-27622-wsjjw9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=516&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Gay dads in Australia have fewer pathways to fatherhood than in the US.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-139669156/stock-photo-happy-family-outdoors.html?src=SgZK7jtbST1c7KlI2ZvrOA-1-20">Dubova/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Since the early 2000s, it has become popular for Australian gay men to form families through surrogacy, particularly commercial surrogacy arrangements abroad. </p>
<p>For gay men who are US residents, adoption is a well-documented path to parenthood. Though laws in some Australian states do not permit gay men or lesbians to adopt. And relatively few children are available for adoption in Australia. </p>
<p>La Trobe University researcher Jennifer Power and her colleagues investigated family make up in the <a href="http://www.bouverie.org.au/images/uploads/2014_Brief_report.pdf">2012 Work, Love and Play study</a>. Of the 88 gay and bisexual men who described themselves as “actively involved” in parenting a child:</p>
<ul>
<li>39% had become parents in a previous heterosexual relationship</li>
<li>23% were parenting children conceived through surrogacy</li>
<li>19% had become parents through known sperm donation to lesbian couples or single women</li>
<li>11% were foster parents or permanent carers.</li>
</ul>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_7"></figure>
<h2>Q7. What logistical barriers do lesbian couples face when starting a family?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Deborah Dempsey, sociologist:</strong></p>
<p>Lesbian couples using clinical donor insemination, known donor insemination or IVF to form families with children must navigate a complex range of logistical, social and emotional issues.</p>
<p>Finding a suitable known donor can be difficult because of the need for compatible expectations about parenthood. Men may want more or less involvement than the lesbian parents feel comfortable with; they may feel awkward or uncertain about the responsibilities attached to giving sperm; or their partners may not approve of the idea. </p>
<p>For some lesbian couples, deciding who will become pregnant and whose eggs will be used will be straightforward and for others, it will be emotionally difficult. It really depends on how the women view the issue of being genetically related to the child, and their feelings about how important it is to become pregnant and give birth. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=415&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=415&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=415&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=522&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=522&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91130/original/image-20150807-4380-eks6fu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=522&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Reciprocal IVF is not available in Australia unless the couple has fertility problems.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/digitalgrace/3036447684/">Danny Hammontree/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In some US states, a procedure called “reciprocal IVF” is offered so both women can have a biological relationship to the child. One woman provides the egg, while the other becomes pregnant and gives birth. However this procedure is currently only possible in Australia if the couple has fertility problems.</p>
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<figure id="a_8"></figure>
<h2>Q8. Who goes on the birth certificate when using a sperm or egg donor? And what about if the couple is same-sex?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Fiona Kelly, legal scholar:</strong> </p>
<p>Where a couple or single woman has used assisted reproduction (ART) to conceive, the donor is not named on the birth certificate. Rather, the recipient parent(s), who are the legal parents of the child, are named, provided they were married or in a de facto relationship at the time of conception. </p>
<p>In all states and territories, the woman who gives birth to a child born as a result of ART is the “mother” of that child. When a married woman or a woman in a de facto relationship with a man becomes pregnant as a result of assisted reproduction her partner is presumed to be the father, provided he consented to the procedure. </p>
<p>All Australian jurisdictions also presume the same-sex partner of a birth mother who has used ART to conceive is a legal parent of a child born. In other words, same sex couples and opposite sex couples are treated identically. </p>
<p>The language that is used on birth certificates may vary. For example, in Western Australia, the partners may register as “mother” and “parent”; “mother” and “mother”; or “parent” and “parent”. In the ACT, a person may be registered as “mother”, “father” or “parent”.</p>
<p>Several states make a notation on the child’s birth certificate, indicating that further information is available about the child’s birth. The notation ensures the child can determine that he or she is donor conceived, particularly in the event of the child not having been informed by their parents of the nature of their conception.</p>
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<figure id="a_9"></figure>
<h2>Q9. How much does IVF cost?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>Back in 1987, the <a href="http://trove.nla.gov.au/work/13000621?q&versionId=15393011">cost of IVF treatment</a> was about A$3,500 to A$4,500 and the pregnancy rate was around 40-50% after three attempts. At the time, Professor Carl Wood, one of the pioneers of Australian fertility treatment, said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>as the test-tube procedure has been developed only recently, it is reasonable to assume that with further improvements the cost may be reduced and the success rate increased. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Arguably, the reverse has occurred with live birth rates reported to be as low as 4% at one IVF clinic. Further, despite a large proportion of IVF now being subsided by Medicare, the <a href="http://monashivf.com/treatment/vic-ivf-costs/">going rate</a> for a fresh IVF cycle is around A$10,000, with out-of-pocket expenses commonly over A$4,000 before private health insurance rebates. </p>
<p>Using donor sperm or eggs costs more again, with clinic-recruited donor sperm usually costing <a href="http://monashivf.com/treatment/vic-ivf-costs/">around A$1,000</a> per treatment. Although, actually paying a donor for their eggs or sperm remains illegal. </p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_10"></figure>
<h2>Q10. What are the success rates for IVF?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>Fitness guru Michelle Bridges <a href="http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/michelle-bridges-criticised-for-suggesting-pregnancy-success-is-due-to-good-health/story-fnet08ck-1227448956094">recently caused a stir</a> when she suggested her ability to conceive naturally at 44 was because of her and her partner’s healthy lifestyle. </p>
<p>While lifestyle factors such a smoking and weight will play a role, the biggest contributing factor to infertility is the woman’s age. So while Michelle Bridges’ 12-week body challenge may reduce your body mass index, drinking protein shakes and running on the treadmill cannot turn back the clock.</p>
<p>The <a href="http://theconversation.com/five-things-you-need-to-know-before-going-to-an-ivf-clinic-43705">highest success</a> rates are reported in women under 30 who have around a 26% chance of having a baby with IVF. Women over 40 have around a 6% chance, and as for women 44 or older such as Michelle, the chance of going home with a baby is less than 1%. Michelle was lucky. Most women her age would need donor eggs.</p>
<p>There is also a wide discrepancy between the success rates of IVF providers. The last report showed overall results ranged from 4% at one clinic to 30.9% at another. </p>
<p>There is also evidence to suggest having a younger male partner may improve IVF outcomes in women. This doesn’t necessarily mean women should go out looking for a young male sperm donor, it just shows there are many factors at play, many of which are out of patients’ control. </p>
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<figure id="a_11"></figure>
<h2>Q11. Is sex selection legal in Australia? Should it be?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Deborah Dempsey, sociologist:</strong></p>
<p>Sex selection using assisted reproductive technology is only legal in Australia to reduce the risk of transmission of a serious genetic conditions, such as <a href="http://www.mda.org.au/disorders/dystrophies/dmd-bmd.asp">duchenne muscular dystrophy</a>. </p>
<p>Sex selection of embryos created through IVF is done using a technique called <a href="http://ivf.com.au/fertility-treatment/genetic-testing-pgd">pre-implantation genetic diagnosis</a> (PGD). This technique enables the removal of one or more cells from an embryo so it can be tested for genetic abnormalities prior to implantation.</p>
<p>Clinics providing PGD must be accredited by the <a href="http://www.fertilitysociety.com.au/">Fertility Society of Australia</a>, which requires them to comply with <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/guidelines-publications/e78">National Health and Medical Research Council ethical guidelines</a>. </p>
<p>Some Australians would like to use PGD for “family balancing” reasons. Australians often consider it ideal to have at least “one of each” in their family, although in many parts of the world there is a cultural preference for sons. Australians are known to travel overseas to obtain sex selection services in countries where clinicians will perform PGD for non-medical reasons. </p>
<p>While I understand that some parents have a very strong desire to have children of both sexes, my personal view is the practice is undesirable and discriminatory. If we take the “family balancing” idea seriously enough to legally facilitate it, we are perpetuating the view that boys and girls are so different from each other that families with children of one sex are “unbalanced” and somehow deficient. </p>
<p>There would also be no impediment to using the procedure to support more extreme forms of gender discrimination, for example, in cases where families favour having sons.</p>
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<figure id="a_12"></figure>
<h2>Q12. How long can donor eggs and sperm stay in the freezer?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>Donor eggs and sperm are often frozen before they’re given to recipients. This allows donors to be tested for infectious diseases and genetic abnormalities, transported interstate or overseas, if needed, and to be readily available for patients who need them. </p>
<p>Some people express concerns about the survival rates of donor eggs or sperm that were frozen many years ago. But as long as they’re stored correctly, there is no biological limit on the amount of time eggs or sperm can remain in frozen. Just like Elsa in the movie Frozen, the cold never bothered them anyway, and staying frozen doesn’t reduce their thaw survival rates. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91136/original/image-20150807-27568-wyuqaq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">There’s no limit to how long donor eggs and sperm can be frozen.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.shutterstock.com/downloading_tips.mhtml?code=&id=231112240&size=medium&image_format=jpg&method=download&super_url=http%3A%2F%2Fdownload.shutterstock.com%2Fgatekeeper%2FW3siZSI6MTQzODk1ODQwNywiYyI6Il9waG90b19zZXNzaW9uX2lkIiwiZGMiOiJpZGxfMjMxMTEyMjQwIiwiayI6InBob3RvLzIzMTExMjI0MC9tZWRpdW0uanBnIiwibSI6IjEiLCJkIjoic2h1dHRlcnN0b2NrLW1lZGlhIn0sInJNd2t0elpYNnFHWkY0dmQzUVNoMnZCODI2OCJd%2Fshutterstock_231112240.jpg&racksite_id=ny&chosen_subscription=1&license=standard&src=sioMuefciOw7NwB100O3hQ-1-0&el_order_id=">nevodka/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The main problem with eggs and sperm that were frozen many years ago is that the older freezing methods were not as good as the new ones. Eggs frozen using the now-outdated “slow frozen” method have <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com.ezproxy.lib.monash.edu.au/science/article/pii/S1472648314002478">poorer survival rates</a> than those that have been vitrified (“snap frozen”). </p>
<p>There is also limited information about the success of egg freezing in general. So while we know eggs can survive the thaw process, we don’t know the how many babies are being born from this process.</p>
<p>Sperm isn’t usually vitrified like eggs are, but advances in sperm freezing technology have also improved success rates over time. </p>
<p>So, to sum it up, donor eggs and sperm can theoretically remain frozen indefinitely – although there are legal restrictions on this. </p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_13"></figure>
<h2>Q13. How difficult is it to obtain information about overseas donors/surrogates?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Damian Adams, donor conception researcher:</strong> </p>
<p>Australian clinics are mandated to follow <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/_files_nhmrc/publications/attachments/e78.pdf">National Health and Medical Research Council’s guidelines</a> which stipulate that all donor-conceived people (since the guidelines came into effect in 2005) are entitled to know identifying information on the donor once they reach 18 years of age. Subsequently, if clinics are sourcing eggs or sperm from overseas, the information available must meet our guidelines. </p>
<p>We are yet to see whether any donor-conceived people have trouble accessing this information as those conceived under these guidelines as they’re yet to turn 18. Those conceived prior to this will be at the mercy of whatever agreement the Australian clinic and the overseas clinic had in the supply of those gametes and associated information. The donor-conceived are then also reliant on a foreign business maintaining and looking after those records. </p>
<p>Anecdotal evidence from older donor-conceived people overseas does not paint a rosy picture of possible outcomes from seeking information, although it is hoped that their practices have also changed for the better as has been the case in Australia.</p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_14"></figure>
<h2>Q14. How are donor eggs and sperm transported interstate and overseas?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>After eggs and sperm are frozen, they need to be kept in liquid nitrogen, which is about minus 196 degrees Celsius. This can make transportation tricky, as liquid nitrogen is really dangerous, and if it was to leak it could easily kill the courier or the any one else around at the time. </p>
<p>Luckily, scientists have come up with a special device called a “dry shipper” which allows frozen embryos, eggs and sperm to be transported safely while keeping everyone safe. Dry shippers absorb the liquid nitrogen in the walls so it doesn’t leak, but it still keeps everything cold. </p>
<p>Very occasionally, this process can fail, but most transportation occurs successfully without any damage to patient material. </p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_15"></figure>
<h2>Q15. What barriers do donor-conceived people face in obtaining information about their biological mother or father?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Damian Adams, donor conception researcher:</strong> </p>
<p>This is highly dependent on when the person was born and which state they were born in. Those conceived from 2005 onwards around Australia, and 1998 onwards in Victoria, are entitled to access identifying information. Prior to those dates, donations were primarily anonymous.</p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1130&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1130&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91138/original/image-20150807-27573-m0j4x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1130&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">In some instances, records had been destroyed or redacted.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/adrianclarkmbbs/3183890564/">Adrian Clark/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>For those conceived under anonymous conditions there are, however, voluntary registers in Victoria, Western Australia and New South Wales which offspring can put their details on in the hope that the donor will also place their details on the register. If the donor is not on the register – or if they were conceived in another state – the offspring will be reliant on assistance from the clinic. </p>
<p>Research <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22908615">my colleagues and I published</a> in 2012 on accessing information in Australia showed some people found dealing with the clinics quite difficult (others have found them helpful), and if information <em>was</em> available that there was no national consistency on what information was recorded. </p>
<p>In some instances, records had been destroyed or redacted. We have also seen instances of registers failing to match people who were later matched through DNA testing. </p>
<p>So, some younger offspring may find it easy, while older offspring may find it difficult or even impossible.</p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_16"></figure>
<h2>Q16. Can donor-conceived people access information about their donor if they were conceived before anonymity was abolished?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Fiona Kelly, legal scholar:</strong></p>
<p>The only state in which donor records have been opened retrospectively is Victoria. As of June 2015, all donor-conceived people who were conceived in Victoria <a href="http://www5.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/vic/num_act/artfaa201458o2014575/">may apply for access</a> to their donor’s identifying information, with the donor’s consent. </p>
<p>In other states, there is no right of retrospective access. However, in a number of states, such as <a href="http://www.health.nsw.gov.au/art/Publications/brochure-voluntary-donor-register.pdf">NSW</a> and <a href="http://www.voluntaryregister.health.wa.gov.au/home/">WA</a>, donor-conceived people may place their names on a voluntary registry. If both the donor-conceived person and the donor register, access is permitted by mutual consent.</p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_17"></figure>
<h2>Q17. Will using donor eggs from a younger woman increase my chances?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>Women over 40 are the main recipients of donor eggs. Using donor eggs from a younger woman <a href="https://npesu.unsw.edu.au/sites/default/files/npesu/data_collection/Assisted%20reproductive%20technology%20in%20Australia%20and%20New%20Zealand%202012.pdf">significantly increases</a> the chances of success. </p>
<p>However, using donor eggs doesn’t eliminate all complications. Women who use donated eggs have a <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/10936458/Risks-of-donor-egg-pregnancies-revealed.html">higher risk</a> of developing serious complications, specifically high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. Although it was thought these dangers may have been linked to the age of the birth mother and not the egg donor, the real reason remains unknown. </p>
<p>There is also a difference between fresh and frozen eggs to consider. Fresh is best because the success rate with thawed eggs remains unclear. However, this option is not always available where donor eggs are involved. Until only recently, <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1472648314002478">egg freezing</a> was considered experimental so we are still learning a lot about this process. </p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_18"></figure>
<h2>Q18. What motivates men to donate sperm, and women to donate eggs?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Roger Cook, psychology scholar:</strong> </p>
<p>Both sexes are motivated, at least in part, by a sense of altruism. </p>
<p>In the past, some men were enticed to donate by payments, albeit very low amounts. This became less common through the 1980s and now some clinics provide some reimbursement but no inducement payments. The <a href="http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/vic/consol_act/hta1982160/">Human Tissue Act of 1982</a> prohibits commercial profiting from semen donation. Financial reward is not a current motivation. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=437&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=437&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=437&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=549&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=549&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/91140/original/image-20150807-27622-aipfn3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=549&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Some donors are unlikely to have children of their own and want to be fathers.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/davelawler/6912975586/">Dave Lawler/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The motivation for men to donate sperm changed somewhat after laws were introduced prohibiting anonymous donation. Donors must now be prepared to be identified and allow contact with their donor children. This has reduced the number of men donating, as the <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18653672">necessity of identification</a> is incompatible with their sense of privacy. </p>
<p>Another motivation for some men is a desire to be biological fathers, particularly when they’re unlikely to form a parenting relationship with a woman. </p>
<p>Women are usually <a href="http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/15/10/2133.full">more reluctant</a> than men to give away their DNA, except when they have had their own experience of IVF. This is likely related to the significance of pregnancy and child birth experience, which men experience in a different way.</p>
<p>Women who donate their eggs are have been through infertility treatments such as IVF, and therefore have some understanding of the distress that follows such circumstances. Their motivation is to help other women who are not able to produce their own viable eggs. </p>
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<hr>
<figure id="a_19"></figure>
<h2>Q19. Why do I need ICSI (sperm injections) if I use donor sperm?</h2>
<p><strong>A. Loretta Houlahan, embryology lecturer:</strong></p>
<p>A common source of confusion for patients is why they need to use intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) when using donor sperm. ICSI is usually preserved for treatment where the male partner has a low sperm count and costs a lot more than a standard IVF treatment.</p>
<p>The main reason ICSI is used is because of the critical shortage of donor sperm. To enable supply to meet demand, the donor sperm sample may be diluted. This way it can be used in more patient treatments. The downside to this is that because diluted samples contain such a low volume of sperm, ICSI is required for the insemination procedure.</p>
<p>ICSI is also required to inseminate frozen-thawed eggs. In order to freeze eggs, the “cumulus cells” that surround them need to be removed. In natural conception, as well as standard IVF, the cumulus cells act like a maze and the sperm are required find their way through these cells to get to the egg. </p>
<p>It also acts like a barrier to limit the number of sperm that reach the end point. Without the cumulus cells in-tact, the risk of more than one sperm fertilising the egg is too high, so ICSI is used to avoid an abnormal fertilisation. With ICSI, the embryologist can ensure only one sperm enters the egg.</p>
<p><a href="#q_top">Back to top</a></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/45715/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Damian Adams is an advocate for the rights of donor-conceived people. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Fiona Kelly held a Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council Grant (Canada) that addressed the legal needs of single women who use assisted reproduction from 2008-2013.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Loretta Houlahan has previously been employed at Melbourne IVF, Monash IVF and City Fertility Centre. She is a current member on the Patient Review Panel, a lawyer at Parke Lawyers and consults at Australian Workplace Strategies. Loretta has also been a member of the Fertility Society of Australia. These views are her own.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Deborah Dempsey and Roger Cook do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Thanks to IVF and donor conception, infertile couples, single women and lesbian couples now have a better chance of starting families. But while common, it’s rarely openly discussed.Damian Adams, PhD candidate, Flinders UniversityDeborah Dempsey, Senior Lecturer - Sociology, Swinburne University of TechnologyFiona Kelly, Senior Lecturer in Law, La Trobe UniversityLoretta Houlahan, Casual Lecturer, Master of Clinical Embryology, Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Monash UniversityRoger Cook, Associate Professor; Director, Psychology Clinic, Swinburne University of TechnologyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/450912015-07-23T02:34:28Z2015-07-23T02:34:28ZYour questions answered on donor conception<p>Hi All, </p>
<p>Fron Jackson-Webb here – I’m one of The Conversation’s Australia-based health editors. </p>
<p>Thanks to IVF and donor conception, infertile couples, single women and lesbian couples now have a better chance at starting families. But while you might know someone who’s gone through the process, you may not have had a chance to ask all the questions on your mind. </p>
<p>Wondering about legal barriers, choosing sperm donors, why people donate sperm and eggs, who goes on the birth certificate, or tips on what to say or not say to someone undergoing IVF or to a donor-conceived family? </p>
<p>Ask your questions and we’ll put them to our experts to answer. You can submit your questions below in the comments, on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ConversationEDU">Facebook.com/conversationEDU</a> or on Twitter using #YourQuestionsAnswered</p>
<p>We’re taking your questions for about a week, and will report back with a panel of experts answering your questions.</p>
<p>We look forward to hearing from you!</p>
<p>Fron.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/45091/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
Thanks to IVF and donor conception, infertile couples, single women and lesbian couples now have a better chance at starting families. But how does it all work? Ask the experts here.Fron Jackson-Webb, Deputy Editor and Senior Health EditorLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/441812015-07-05T20:18:42Z2015-07-05T20:18:42ZFactCheck: is having a mum and a dad the very best thing for a child?<blockquote>
<p>“If you ask the Australian people whether you think a child has a right to have a mother and a father, 75% or more will say that is right. If you ask individuals whether a mother is the most important nurturing relationship a child can have, over 90% of mothers say the same. So who are we to deny a child the right of having a mother or a father?… We also know that in the development of a child, the very best thing that can happen is for them to have a mum and a dad who play a complementary role in the raising of that child.” – Liberal senator Cory Bernardi, <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/breakfast/cory-bernardi-on-marriage-equality/6588806">interview</a> with Fran Kelly on RN Breakfast, July 2, 2015.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>A cross-party <a href="http://www.skynews.com.au/news/top-stories/2015/07/01/cross-party-plan-reached-on-same-sex-marriage.html">bill</a> aimed at legalising same-sex marriage and scheduled for parliamentary debate in August has come under a new round of criticism from some politicians, including Liberal senator Cory Bernardi.</p>
<p>Many have <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/comment/samesex-couples-make-fine-parents-its-stigma-that-hurts-their-kids-20150623-ghw1ae.html">argued</a> that children need not be brought into debates about marriage equality, but nonetheless it is worth examining how well Bernardi’s assertions hold up against the research.</p>
<h2>The evidence</h2>
<p>When asked for a source to substantiate his statement, Bernardi’s spokesperson referred to a 2015 <a href="http://australianmarriage.org/new-galaxy-poll-for-amf-reframes-the-same-sex-marriage-debate/">poll</a> commissioned by the Australian Marriage Forum (<a href="http://australianmarriage.org/about-us/">self-described</a> as “an organisation that has been set up to encourage Australians to discuss the issue of same-sex marriage with some discernment and caution”). The online survey of 1242 people <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/nc4sb74qufdpkuq/Galaxy%20key%20findings%20-%20AMF%20-%20June%202015%20LINKED.pdf?dl=0">found</a> that 76% of Australians agree that:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>… where possible, as a society, we should try to ensure that children are raised by their own mother and father.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Bernardi’s spokesman also pointed to a 2005 <a href="http://americanvalues.org/catalog/pdfs/the_motherhood_study.pdf">study</a>, published on the Institute of American Values website that involved a survey of more than 2000 US mothers (complemented by interviews and focus groups), that found that:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>… nearly 93% agreed that a mother’s contribution to the care of her children is so unique that no one else can replace it.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>While both these sources give an indication of attitudes towards parenting, neither used questionnaires that had been scientifically developed and tested in a range of settings. For example, when measuring child health the <a href="http://www.aseba.org">Child Behaviour Checklist</a> might be used. In addition, neither of the sources underwent peer review to ensure academic robustness.</p>
<p>Further, it is important to consider that these sources describe the attitudes of heterosexuals to parenting, and in one case only heterosexual mothers.</p>
<p>The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child goes only so far as to <a href="http://www.ohchr.org/EN/ProfessionalInterest/Pages/CRC.aspx">state</a> that a child has “the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents”. There is no mention of whether these parents must include both male and female biological parents or that these parents must be married. Furthermore, neither of Bernardi’s sources give a quantifiable measure of how children actually fare in different family contexts. </p>
<p>This goes to Bernardi’s last and most important point: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>We also know that in the development of a child, the very best thing that can happen is for them to have a mum and a dad who play a complementary role in the raising of that child.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>To support this point, Bernardi’s spokesperson directed The Conversation to a 2011 <a href="http://sydney.edu.au/law/news/docs_pdfs_images/2011/Sep/FKS-ResearchReport.pdf">report</a> commissioned by the Australian Christian Lobby and researched by University of Sydney law professor Patrick Parkinson, specifically a section that said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>… children do best of all growing up with two happily married biological parents.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This particular quote is actually a citation from a <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16158731">paper</a> by US researcher Paul Amato. His paper does not discuss same-sex parents at all. He instead highlights the importance of happily married parents. The focus of Parkinson’s argument is not that biological opposite-sex parents are essential – rather, it is that stable, conflict-free families that are important.</p>
<p>Like Amato, Parkinson goes on to state that children should be raised in the context of marriage. More than <a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4102.0Main+Features10July+2013">6000 children</a> in Australia are currently being raised in same-sex couple households. Same-sex marriage would provide access to marriage for the parents of these families.</p>
<h2>Reviewing the literature</h2>
<p>There is rigorous research on the question of how children of same-sex parented families develop. The Australian Institute of Family Studies has taken a thorough and locally relevant approach. </p>
<p>In their <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/same-sex-parented-families-australia">2013 report</a> on same-sex parent families in Australia they examined and synthesised Australian and international literature on same-sex parented families. The report found that:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>… overall, research to date considerably challenges the point of view that same-sex parented families are harmful to children. Children in such families do as well emotionally, socially and educationally as their peers from heterosexual couple families.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This has recently been supported by the largest study in the world to look at child health in same-sex families. This Australian <a href="http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/14/635/abstract">research</a> considered the health and well-being of 500 children from 315 families. It found that, on average, children with same-sex-attracted parents scored pretty much the same as the average Australian child. However, it also showed that in some areas, including how child health is affected by how families get along, children with same-sex attracted parents are doing better. </p>
<p><a href="http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=8501270">Research</a> suggests that same-sex parent families function more equitably by sharing parenting tasks. Far from needing a “mum and a dad who play a complementary role in the raising of that child”, as Bernardi suggests, it is same-sex families where complementarity is really proving beneficial. </p>
<h2>Verdict</h2>
<p>Bernardi, some of his <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/comment/comment-eric-abetz--on-gay-marriage-20150701-gi26gi.html">Liberal colleagues</a>, and <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/comment/mother-father-child-the-best-formula-so-far-20150610-ghke7s.html">others</a>, suggest that children need both a mother and father. In terms of actual health and well-being outcomes, the overwhelming body of scientific research suggests that children develop well when growing up with same-sex attracted parents. </p>
<p>More work is required from the academic community to bring this scientific reality to the minds of the community.</p>
<hr>
<h2>Review</h2>
<p>This is a fair and academically robust analysis of Bernardi’s statements.</p>
<p>With regard to children’s well-being, there is now a substantial body of international peer-reviewed research in the social sciences on how children are faring when raised in families that do not conform to the married, two biological parent norm. </p>
<p>A comprehensive <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/same-sex-parented-families-australia">review</a> I authored for the Australian Institute of Family Studies in 2013 revealed that children raised in same-sex parented families do at least as well as their peers raised in heterosexual couple families when compared on a comprehensive range of social, psychological, health and educational characteristics.</p>
<p>We know that family processes such as levels of conflict between the parents and the relative equity of their divisions of paid and household labour are more influential than the gender, sexuality or number of parents when it comes to children’s well-being. Same-sex couples are known to <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/same-sex-parented-families-australia">share</a> parental care and paid work more equitably than heterosexual couples, and this tendency towards greater equity is beneficial for children. </p>
<p>It should also be noted that what people think children need is not necessarily commensurate with “children’s rights”. </p>
<p>When children raised in same-sex parented families are not faring so well, this is <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/same-sex-parented-families-australia">often because</a> of their fears or experiences of bullying and discrimination in schools due to the continuing stigma attached to same-sex relationships in some community settings. In the Netherlands, which was the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage, children raised in same-sex parented families have <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18954184">higher well-being scores</a> than their peers in the United States, where same-sex marriage has only recently been obtained. <strong>– Deborah Dempsey</strong></p>
<hr>
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Simon Crouch has received funding from the National Health and Medical Research Council. He is the Lead Investigator for the Australian Study of Child Health in Same-Sex Families</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Deborah Dempsey received funding in 2013 from the Australian Institute of Family Studies to write a review of the international literature on outcomes for children raised in same-sex parented families.
</span></em></p>Liberal senator Cory Bernardi, a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, has said that “the very best thing” for the development of a child is to have a mum and a dad. What does the research say?Simon Crouch, Researcher, Jack Brockhoff Child Health and Wellbeing Program, The University of MelbourneLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/440152015-07-02T20:13:30Z2015-07-02T20:13:30ZSecrets and lies: why donor-conceived children need to know their origins<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/87075/original/image-20150702-27138-1e9jb8l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Many children are raised by and form strong parental attachments with adults they're not genetically related to.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaeljzealot/14061621968/">MjZ Photography/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>In all Australian states and territories, laws are now in place to ensure that when children born via donor conception turn 18, they have a <a href="http://www.healthlawcentral.com/assistedreproduction/donorconception/access-information/">right to access information</a> about the identity of their donor. However, research suggests that <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/publications/families-policy-and-law/9-secrecy-family-relationships-and-welfare-children-born">most heterosexual parents</a> who conceive via donor conception never tell their children. </p>
<p>Donor insemination became widely available in the 1980s with the emergence of sperm freezing technology. However, in these early days few jurisdictions had clear <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/austory/specials/howimetyourfather/donconceptionlegislationvic.pdf">regulatory frameworks</a> around donor conception and record keeping was often inconsistent. </p>
<p>The lack of regulation allowed for, and was facilitated by, a culture of shame and secrecy around infertility and donor insemination. It was common for medical practitioners to <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/austory/specials/howimetyourfather/vartahowtotellchildren.pdf">advise parents</a> not to tell their children they were donor conceived. The prevailing wisdom was that anonymity and secrecy was better for children, families and donors. </p>
<p>Victoria was one of the first jurisdictions in the world to <a href="https://www.varta.org.au/regulation/history-victorian-art-regulation">introduce laws</a> banning anonymous gamete (sperm, eggs and embryos) donation and requiring donors to consent to the release of identifying information to donor recipients aged 18 or over. These laws <a href="https://www.varta.org.au/sites/default/files/ART%20further%20amendment%20legislative%20changes.pdf">came into effect</a> in 1998*. </p>
<p>By 2005, anonymous donation <a href="https://theconversation.com/donor-conception-secrecy-and-the-search-for-information-44000">was prohibited</a> nationwide. However, many donor-conceived children still struggle to access information about their donor, due to laws not being retrospective in many states, or because records have been destroyed.</p>
<p>When Victorian donor-conceived children <a href="https://www.varta.org.au/sites/default/files/ART%20further%20amendment%20legislative%20changes.pdf">born after the introduction of the first laws regulating donor conception</a> were due to turn 18, the Victorian Infertility Treatment Authority in 2006 ran a campaign entitled “<a href="http://www.abc.net.au/austory/specials/howimetyourfather/donconceptionlegislationvic.pdf">Time to Tell</a>”. This encouraged families to talk to their children about being donor conceived. </p>
<p>As the use of new reproductive technologies had become more common, stigma around this had decreased. This brought concerns about the rights of donor-conceived children to the forefront. The <a href="https://www.varta.org.au/regulation/regulation-art-victoria/legislation-about-right-information-about-donors">new laws</a> supported the rights of children to access information about their donor, but this did not necessarily support parents to tell their children they were donor-conceived. </p>
<p>However, studies had begun to reveal potential problems that arose from not telling children. While in general, people who are donor-conceived are not disadvantaged in terms of <a href="http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/28/2/375.short">well-being or connectedness</a> to their family, problems can occur when they <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19398766">learn of the circumstances</a> of their conception later in life.</p>
<p>When this happens, people may feel betrayed by their parents, leading to resentment, confusion and distress. This may be particularly destructive if a person inadvertently discovers they are donor-conceived, rather than being told by their parents. </p>
<p>Alongside this, there is an emerging body of <a href="https://www.varta.org.au/resources/publications/age-when-learning-about-mode-conception-and-well-being-among-young-adults">research</a> which shows that telling children they are donor conceived does not damage their well-being, particularly if they then have the option to learn more about their donor. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/87081/original/image-20150702-27111-18ic0gy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Donor-conceived children aren’t disadvantaged, as long as they’re told about their circumstances.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/littlemonkeybutt/3702390721/">KatLevPhoto/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>These days, <a href="https://www.asrm.org/uploadedFiles/ASRM_Content/News_and_Publications/Ethics_Committee_Reports_and_Statements/informing_offspring_donation.pdf">clinical guidelines</a> generally suggest doctors and counsellors encourage parents to tell children about their donor conception. </p>
<p>Despite this, most heterosexual couples who conceive children using donor sperm do not tell their children. In <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/publications/families-policy-and-law/9-secrecy-family-relationships-and-welfare-children-born">Australian studies</a>, fewer than 35% of couples surveyed had told their children they were donor conceived. This is consistent with <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21398181">overseas research</a>, which suggests the majority of parents never tell their children. </p>
<p>There are multiple <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/12/13/donor_conceived_children_deserve_to_know_the_truth_about_their_origins.html">reasons why parents choose not to tell</a> their children they were donor conceived. Some are concerned their child will feel different or “not normal”. For others, the pain of infertility is raw and avoiding the issue is emotionally easier. </p>
<p>Some parents intend to tell but never find the right time or words to do this. But a common concern is that children will no longer see their “non-genetic” parent as their real parent.</p>
<p>Biological relatedness is central to <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/publications/families-policy-and-law/3-ancestry-identity-and-meaning-importance-biological-ties">idealised Western notions of family and kinship</a>, even though the reality of contemporary family life is much more complex than this. Step and blended families, families created through adoption or fostering, same-sex parented families and networks of close friends all involve non-biological family relationships. Many children are raised by, and form strong parental attachments with, adults to whom they are not genetically related. </p>
<p>This is not to say that biology is irrelevant. Many people’s sense of place in the world is connected to their biological heritage. Donor-conceived people often feel that <a href="http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/donor-conceived-kids-fight-for-their-rights/story-fnet08ui-1227299910083">knowing about their donor</a> is an important part of forming and understanding their identity. But biology in itself does not create family relationships. </p>
<p>The problem with secrecy around donor conception is that it contributes to the notion that biology is more important than lived family ties. It implies that a child having a genetic link to someone else undermines the importance of those parents who have raised that child. </p>
<p>By contrast, <a href="https://www.varta.org.au/sites/default/files/Telling%20about%20donor%20assisted%20conception.pdf">openness about donor-conception</a> allows parents to emphasise the strength of their family connection and includes their children in the creation of the family narrative. </p>
<p>Laws that ensure donor-conceived people have access to identifying information about donors encourages greater openness around donor conception; although <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/publications/families-policy-and-law/9-secrecy-family-relationships-and-welfare-children-born">some people argue</a> the laws need to go further, mandating parents to tell their children. </p>
<p>The complexity of this issue points to a continued need for resources to support families to talk to their children about donor conception. </p>
<p><em>* An earlier version of this article said anonymous donation was prohibited in Victoria in 1988. This has now been updated to 1998.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/44015/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jennifer Power has previously received funding from the Australian Research Council, Relationships Australia, VicHealth and ACON. She currently works on a project funded by the Commonwealth Government. </span></em></p>Most heterosexual parents who conceive via donor conception never tell their children.Jennifer Power, Research Fellow at Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, La Trobe UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.