Team Blog

Would you like priorities with that?

Tom Magliery

Amid concerns that security around the London Olympics was compromised following the admission by contactor G4S that they were unable to supply the majority of the personnel they promised, there remains one area that will be rigorously and ruthlessly policed.

One could almost sense a collective sigh of relief from spectators as they plan their attack on rain soaked, snaking queues longer than country lanes. VIP’s and other members of the ‘Olympic Family’ can also now rest easy on plumped up pillows in their over inflated hotel suites.

All’s right in the sporting world as the ambush police of the Olympic Delivery Authority commenced their patrols the streets of London bedecked in purple. Their mission? Simple - to seek out evil wrongdoers seeking to gain unfair advantage through scurrilous promotion that contravenes the tome that is the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act (2006).

Pub landlords advertising live coverage together with non-official beer on A frames will be locked in the Tower whilst hapless shopkeepers will be hung drawn and quartered for even mentioning gold, silver or bronze without a multi-million-dollar Olympic sponsorship contract. And at the 40 Olympic venues some 800 or so retailers have been banned from serving chips to avoid infringing the rights of the ubiquitous fast food partner.

Would you like priorities with that sir?