tag:theconversation.com,2011:/africa/topics/dads-73643/articlesDads – The Conversation2023-10-25T13:48:57Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2150092023-10-25T13:48:57Z2023-10-25T13:48:57ZMen say they are spending more time on household chores, and would like to do more – survey of 17 countries<p>Women perform between <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=7">three and seven times more caregiving tasks</a> than men in the global south. These include household domestic work and largely focus on caring for children. </p>
<p>Hopefully this is changing. The <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf">2023 State of the World’s Fathers Report</a>, themed “Centering Care in a World in Crisis”, explored the experiences and involvement in caregiving among 12,000 men and women, many of whom are parents, across 17 countries. The survey looked at who does the caregiving, how they care, for whom, and what men and women think about care.</p>
<p>I am one of five co-authors of the report, which unveiled a remarkable appreciation for care among respondents. In an online survey they overwhelmingly associated care with positive terms. “Love” was the most frequently mentioned word across all countries. </p>
<p>Other frequently mentioned words included “help”, “protection”, “attention”, “responsibility”, “health”, “kindness” and “family”.</p>
<p>Most of the men involved in the survey said they were doing care work, and they were willing to do more. But many barriers stood in their way, including societal norms and financial constraints. While the findings of the research point to changes, it also found that the pace of change is far too slow. </p>
<h2>Growing pressure for greater equality</h2>
<p>Earlier this year, United Nations member states unanimously designated <a href="https://www.unwomen.org/en/news-stories/news/2023/08/member-states-agree-on-international-day-of-care-and-support-a-milestone-for-gender-equality-and-sustainable-societies#:%7E:text=This%20international%20day%20shows%20the,key%20lever%20to%20sustainable%20development.%E2%80%9D">29 October as the International Day of Care and Support</a>. This reflects a growing recognition of the value of care and care work, highlighting the urgent need to distribute caregiving responsibilities more equitably. </p>
<p>Providing care for another person can be a positive experience, fostering empathy and meaningful relationships. However the unequal allocation of <a href="https://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS_633115/lang--en/index.htm">caregiving</a> between men and women has long hindered women’s participation in paid work. </p>
<p>In 2018, the International Labour Oganization estimated 606 million working age women were not able to do so because of unpaid care work. And the heavy burden of care work has had <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/354252144_Women's_wellbeing_and_the_burden_of_unpaid_work">adverse consequences </a>on the physical and mental wellbeing of women.</p>
<h2>Moving in the right direction</h2>
<p>The State of the World’s Fathers report found that mothers still bore a greater share of responsibilities in care work such as cleaning, physical and emotional childcare, cooking and partner care. Women reported performing 1.32 times more physical childcare and 1.36 times more house cleaning than men across all countries surveyed for the report. </p>
<p>But fathers in countries as diverse as Argentina, Ireland, China, Croatia and Rwanda also reported dedicating significant hours to various unpaid caregiving tasks within the household.</p>
<p>The State of the World’s Fathers study attributed this shift to several factors, including the impact of <a href="https://www.who.int/europe/emergencies/situations/covid-19#page=58">COVID-19</a>, evolving gender norms related to caregiving, and structural factors such as care systems and parental leave policies.</p>
<p>In 15 countries, between 70% and 90% of men agreed with the statement, “I feel as responsible for care work as my partner.” </p>
<p>Encouragingly, in some nations like <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf">South Africa (85%) and Rwanda (93%)</a>, men disagreed with the statement, “Boys should not be taught to sew, cook, clean, or take care of their siblings.”</p>
<p>Men who were more emotionally aware and open to seeking emotional support were <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=22">two to eight times</a> more likely to provide care to a family member than those who were not emotionally aware. </p>
<p>Men who spent more time caring for others experienced greater well-being. Respondents who expressed satisfaction with their involvement in raising their children were <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=8">1.5 times</a> more likely to agree with the statement, “I am the person I always wanted to be” and report a sense of gratitude in life than respondents who did not report satisfaction with childrearing. </p>
<h2>Everybody needs to chip in</h2>
<p>It’s important to recognise that caregiving cannot be dependent solely on individual efforts. Men and women alike require the support of communities, care systems and policies to provide care effectively. </p>
<p>More than half of both mothers and fathers considered<a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=8"> political activism </a>for care leave policies a priority. This sentiment varied: 57% of fathers and 66% of mothers in India, and 92% of fathers and 94% of mothers in Rwanda supported this cause.</p>
<p>Women were more likely than men to <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=54">prioritise care policies</a> along with healthcare and gender equality policies. Concerns about the cost of living were prevalent among both genders, with slightly more women (58%) than men (53%) expressing this worry. </p>
<p>The study found a significant portion of individuals in all countries reported <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=54">taking action </a>to improve care policies. The majority (74%) discussed the issue with friends and family, while 39% of women and 36% of men signed or shared online petitions. Additionally, 27% of women and 33% of men attended events calling for improved care policies.</p>
<p>Policymakers have an important role to play in reforms for improved parental leave. Better data enables better policies, so there also need to be more accurate statistics on, for example, how many fathers take parental leave, and how time spent on care work is distributed among men and women. </p>
<p>Making it easier for men to share duties in the house is essential if countries are to <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/State-of-the-Worlds-Fathers-2023.pdf#page=81">thrive</a>.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215009/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Wessel Van Den Berg works for Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice.</span></em></p>The latest State of the World’s Fathers report found a shift in attitudes. In 15 countries, between 70% and 90% of men agreed with the statement, “I feel as responsible for care work as my partner.”Wessel Van Den Berg, Research fellow, Stellenbosch UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2121092023-08-31T20:00:39Z2023-08-31T20:00:39ZHow ‘dad jokes’ may prepare your kids for a lifetime of embarrassment, according to psychology<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/545452/original/file-20230830-27-8bq04m.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=1%2C0%2C997%2C667&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/father-little-son-wearing-superheroe-costumes-1288435297">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>This Father’s Day you may be rolling out your best “<a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dad%20joke">dad jokes</a>” and watching your children laugh (or groan). Maybe you’ll hear your own father, partner or friend crack a dad joke or two. You know the ones:</p>
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<p>What is the most condescending animal? A pan-DUH!</p>
<p>Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!</p>
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<p>Yes, dad jokes can be fun. They play an important role in how we interact with our kids. But dad jokes may also help prepare them to handle embarrassment later in life.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-lowdown-on-laughter-from-boosting-immunity-to-releasing-tension-56568">The lowdown on laughter: from boosting immunity to releasing tension</a>
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<h2>What are dad jokes?</h2>
<p>Dad jokes are a distinct style of humour consisting of puns that are simple, wholesome and often involve a cheesy delivery. </p>
<p>These jokes usually feature obvious wordplay and a straightforward punchline that leaves listeners either chuckling or emitting an exaggerated groan.</p>
<p>This corny brand of humour is popular. There are hundreds of <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/trending-news/a34437277/best-dad-jokes/">websites</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAgYiERRDPY&t=248s">YouTube videos</a> and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@mmmjoemele/video/7207443872232770858">TikToks</a> dedicated to them. You can even play around with <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2019/06/us/dad-joke-generator-trnd/">dad joke generators</a> if you need some inspiration.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/must-love-jokes-why-we-look-for-a-partner-who-laughs-and-makes-us-laugh-98950">Must love jokes: why we look for a partner who laughs (and makes us laugh)</a>
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<h2>Why are dad jokes so popular?</h2>
<p>People seem to love dad jokes, partly because of the puns.</p>
<p>A <a href="https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0191886922005025">study</a> published earlier this year found people enjoy puns more than most other types of jokes. The authors also suggested that if you groan in response to a pun, this can be a sign you enjoy the joke, rather than find it displeasing.</p>
<p>Other research shows dad jokes work on at least <a href="https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.26613/esic.5.2.248/html">three levels</a>:</p>
<p><strong>1. As tame puns</strong> </p>
<p>Humour typically <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797610376073">violates</a> a kind of boundary. At the most basic level, dad jokes only violate <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315731162-7/puns-tacit-linguistic-knowledge-debra-aarons">a language norm</a>. They require specific knowledge of the language to “get” them, in a way a fart joke does not.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1696617762297168008"}"></div></p>
<p>The fact that dad jokes are wholesome and inoffensive means dads can tell them around their children. But this also potentially makes them tame, which other people might call unfunny.</p>
<p><strong>2. As anti-humour</strong></p>
<p>Telling someone a pun that’s too tame to deserve being told out loud is itself a violation of the norms of joke-telling. That violation can in turn make a dad joke funny. In other words, a dad joke can be so unfunny this makes it funny – a type of <a href="https://daily.jstor.org/the-dubious-art-of-the-dad-joke/">anti-humour</a>.</p>
<p><strong>3. As weaponised anti-humour</strong></p>
<p>Sometimes, the purpose of a dad joke is not to make people laugh but to make them groan and roll their eyes. When people tell dad jokes to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-2909.127.2.229">teasingly</a> annoy someone else for fun, dad jokes work as a kind of <a href="https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.26613/esic.5.2.248/html">weaponised</a> anti-humour. </p>
<p>The stereotypical scenario associated with dad jokes is exactly this: a dad telling a pun and then his kids rolling their eyes out of annoyance or cringing from embarrassment.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/kids-learn-valuable-life-skills-through-rough-and-tumble-play-with-their-dads-119241">Kids learn valuable life skills through rough-and-tumble play with their dads</a>
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<h2>Dad jokes help dads be dads</h2>
<p>Dad jokes are part of a father’s toolkit for engaging with his loved ones, a way to connect through laughter. But as children grow older, the way they receive puns change.</p>
<p><a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/humor-as-a-key-to-child-development#1">Children</a> at around six years old enjoy hearing and telling puns. These are generally innocent ones such as:</p>
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<p>Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!</p>
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<p>As children age and their language and reasoning abilities develop, their understanding of humour becomes more complex. </p>
<p>In adolescence, they may start to view puns as unfunny. This, however, doesn’t stop their fathers from telling them.</p>
<p>Instead, fathers can revel in the embarrassment their dad jokes can produce around their image-conscious and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/202203/adolescence-and-the-age-painful-embarrassment">sensitive</a> adolescent children.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Young woman looking annoyed" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/545469/original/file-20230830-23-zasd3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Dad jokes, funny? As if.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/woman-not-mood-childish-games-portrait-1060150301">Shutterstock</a></span>
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<p>In fact, in a study, one of us (Marc) <a href="https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.26613/esic.5.2.248/html">suggests</a> the playful teasing that comes with dad jokes may be partly why they are such a widespread cultural phenomenon. </p>
<p>This playful and safe teasing serves a dual role in father-child bonding in adolescence. Not only is it playful and fun, it can also be used to help <a href="https://www.dadsuggests.com/home/the-best-dad-jokes">educate</a> the young person how to handle feeling embarrassed.</p>
<p>Helping children learn how to deal with embarrassment is no laughing matter. Getting better at this is a very important part of learning how to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01650250143000535">regulate emotions</a> and develop <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2022.980104/full">resilience</a>. </p>
<p>Modelling the use of humour also has benefits. Jokes can be a useful <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-019-00296-9">coping strategy</a> during <a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/humor-as-weapon-shield-and-psychological-salve">awkward situations</a> – for instance, after someone says <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuRnsrHEQFg">something awkward</a> or to make someone laugh who has <a href="https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/managing-conflicts-with-humor.htm">become upset</a>.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/dads-time-to-shine-online-how-laughter-can-connect-and-heal-136243">Dads' time to shine online: how laughter can connect and heal</a>
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<h2>Dad jokes are more than punchlines</h2>
<p>So, the next time you hear your father unleash a cringe-worthy dad joke, remember it’s not just about the punchline. It’s about creating connections and lightening the mood. </p>
<p>So go ahead, let out that groan, and share a smile with the one who proudly delivers the dad jokes. It’s all part of the fun.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/212109/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Dad jokes can help make you a better parent. But that’s only one reason why dad jokes work.Shane Rogers, Lecturer in Psychology, Edith Cowan UniversityMarc Hye-Knudsen, Cognition and Behavior Lab, Aarhus UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1845242022-06-16T19:06:39Z2022-06-16T19:06:39ZJesus’ earthly dad, St. Joseph – often overlooked – is honored by Father’s Day in many Catholic nations<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/468766/original/file-20220614-24-mcq0xt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=1%2C6%2C1020%2C737&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">'The Holy Family,' by the 17th-century Spanish painter Bartolome Esteban Murillo. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/la-sagrada-familia-c1650-a-tender-domestic-scene-showing-news-photo/615473950">The Print Collector/Hulton Fine Images via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The United States celebrates Father’s Day on the third Sunday of June. Many countries with a Catholic heritage, however, such as Portugal and Spain, have already honored fathers on March 19: the feast of St. Joseph, husband of Mary and <a href="https://www.lourdes-france.org/en/saint-joseph-patron-des-peres-de-famille/">patron saint of fathers</a>.</p>
<p>Joseph is easy to overlook. None of his words were included in the Christian Bible. In Islam, the Quran omits him entirely, though it does include <a href="https://ecommons.udayton.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1470&context=marian_studies">Jesus and Mary</a> by name; in fact, <a href="https://www.oxfordbibliographies.com/view/document/obo-9780195390155/obo-9780195390155-0143.xml">it refers to Mary</a> more than the Christian Gospels do. And while Catholic tradition gives the highest veneration to the Virgin Mary, it gives less emphasis to Joseph’s significance – there is even a joke that a Sunday school student thought Jesus’ parents names were “Verge ‘n Mary,” after hearing her name so much more than his.</p>
<p>However, the Bible portrays St. Joseph playing a crucial role in the life of Jesus Christ, the founder of Christianity. In Catholic culture, Joseph is still an important role model of fatherhood and faith.</p>
<h2>Husband of Mary, father of Jesus – on earth</h2>
<p>The bulk of the biblical descriptions of Joseph come from what are called <a href="https://www.bc.edu/bc-web/schools/stm/sites/crossroads/resources/mini-course/birth-of-jesus/infancy-narrative.html">the Infancy Narratives</a> in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, which describe Jesus’ birth and childhood.</p>
<p>According to the Gospels, Mary, a virgin betrothed to Joseph, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+1%3A35&version=NRSVCE">conceived Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit</a> – and therefore Christians consider Jesus the Son of God. However, most Christians understand Joseph to be a true father in every way except biological, since Joseph was the legal father who raised Jesus.</p>
<p><a href="https://udayton.edu/directory/artssciences/imri/doddgloria.php">As someone who studies Catholic beliefs about Mary,</a> I have <a href="https://ascensionpress.com/products/the-virgin-mary-and-theology-of-the-body">argued</a> that interpreting their “betrothal” as a modern-day “engagement” is incorrect. The Jewish custom in that time period involved <a href="https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ancient-jewish-marriage/">a two-stage marriage</a>: first a legal contract of marriage, followed later by a party with the husband taking his wife into his home. This is shown in the Gospels: Joseph learned that Mary was expecting before she came to live with him, so <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+1&version=NRSVCE">he planned to divorce her</a>; but an angel instructed him not to, and instead to take his wife into his home. Therefore, Joseph was already Mary’s legal husband at the time Jesus was conceived.</p>
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<img alt="A painting shows an older man with a beard, with blue and yellow robes, being visited by a whispering angel while he sleeps." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=705&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=705&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=705&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=885&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=885&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/468858/original/file-20220614-21-yi76mi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=885&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">‘The Dream of St. Joseph,’ by the 18th-century Italian painter Stefano Maria Legnani.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/the-dream-of-saint-joseph-by-stefano-maria-legnani-also-news-photo/461641451?adppopup=true">Sergio Anelli/Electa/Mondadori/Hulton Fine Art Collection via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>Some Christians believe that after Jesus’ birth, Mary and Joseph had several children together. The Gospels <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+13&version=NRSVCE">mention brothers and sisters of Jesus</a>. However, Catholics and Orthodox Christians hold that these verses refer to other relatives, not actual siblings. Jesus taught that children have <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+7&version=NRSVCE">an obligation to support their parents</a>, but when he was dying, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+19&version=NRSVCE">he entrusted Mary to the care of his Apostle John</a>, not a sibling.</p>
<p>Catholics believe Mary and Joseph had what the Catholic Church calls a “Josephite marriage” – that is, one that meets Catholicism’s requirements for a <a href="https://www.newadvent.org/summa/4029.htm">true marriage</a>, such as fidelity, but does not involve sexual intercourse.</p>
<p>Like any parent, Joseph had his challenges. At one point, for example, he and Mary <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+2&version=NRSVCE">lost track of the 12-year-old Jesus</a> for three days while they were traveling. But in Catholic teachings, he models faithful fatherhood. Joseph provided for his family as a carpenter, and followed God’s instructions to care for them. He named and circumcised his son, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+2&version=NRSVCE">presented him at the Temple in Jerusalem</a>, and took him to the Temple on holy days when possible, all in line with Jewish law. Joseph also <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%202&version=NIV">protected Jesus from Herod</a>, the King of Judea who wanted to kill the child, by taking Mary and Jesus to safety in Egypt and then Nazareth.</p>
<h2>Significance in Catholic cultures</h2>
<p>For Catholics, Joseph is the second-greatest saint after Mary, because only she knew, loved and served Jesus more than Joseph. In 1870, Pope Pius IX <a href="https://osjusa.org/st-joseph/magisterium/quemadmodum-deus/">declared</a> Joseph the patron saint of the entire Catholic Church.</p>
<p>The Catholic liturgical calendar has two days just for him. Joseph’s primary celebration honors him as the husband of Mary, and takes place March 19. It is a “solemnity” – a global celebration requiring <a href="https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann1244-1253_en.html#TITLE_II.">specific liturgies</a> – and in some countries, Catholics are obligated to attend Mass. Many Italians celebrate the day with <a href="https://www.atlasobscura.com/foods/feast-of-st-joseph-bread-sculptures">a St. Joseph’s Altar</a> or Bread Table providing free food to all, as a way to thank the saint for his help.</p>
<p>May 1 is an optional feast that honors Joseph in his role as a worker. Pope Pius XII <a href="https://www.pillarcatholic.com/p/st-joseph-a-feast-for-the-working?s=r">established this celebration</a> in 1955 to give a Christian dimension to International Workers Day, also known as International Labor Day or May Day, and counter its <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/04/30/1095729592/what-is-may-day-history">Marxist roots</a>.</p>
<p>Joseph also shares in the <a href="https://www.vaticannews.va/en/liturgical-holidays/feast-of-the-holy-family-of-jesus--mary-and-joseph-.html">universal feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph</a> on the Sunday after Christmas, as well as some local commemorations. For example, the Oblates of St. Joseph, a community of priests and religious brothers, celebrates <a href="https://osjusa.org/about-us/apostolates/holy-spouses-ministry/feast/">Joseph and Mary’s wedding</a> on Jan. 23.</p>
<h2>Year of St. Joseph</h2>
<p>In 2020 an American priest, the Rev. Donald Calloway, published a popular book called “<a href="https://www.fathercalloway.com/books-and-gifts/consecration-st-joseph-wonders-our-spiritual-father">Consecration to St. Joseph</a>.” This guide encourages Catholics – many of whom traditionally devote themselves to Mary – to also consecrate their lives to Joseph, as their spiritual father. Calloway outlines a 33-day program to prepare readers for a ceremony entrusting themselves to Joseph’s care.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="An illustration shows a man wearing two brown robes embracing a small blond child." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=905&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=905&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=905&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1137&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1137&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469093/original/file-20220615-10596-8g0k16.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1137&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">St. Joseph holds the infant Jesus and a lily, representing purity.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/circa-1-ad-st-joseph-or-san-jose-the-husband-of-the-virgin-news-photo/51244756?adppopup=true">Geoffroy/Hulton Archive via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Afterward, Calloway wrote to Pope Francis and asked him to declare a “Year of St. Joseph” for the church. The pope has not spoken about whether this letter influenced him, but Francis did proclaim Dec. 8, 2020, to Dec. 8, 2021, the first-ever <a href="https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2020-12/pope-francis-proclaims-year-of-st-joseph.html">Year of St. Joseph</a>, a time for Catholics to deepen their knowledge of the saint and to pray for blessings from God through Joseph’s intercession.</p>
<p>Francis wrote a <a href="https://www.catholic.com/encyclopedia/apostolic-letters">public letter</a> called “<a href="https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_letters/documents/papa-francesco-lettera-ap_20201208_patris-corde.html">With a Father’s Heart</a>,” which highlights Joseph’s paternal qualities, such as tenderness, courage, and being self-giving. “Fathers are not born, but made. … Whenever a man accepts responsibility for the life of another, in some way he becomes a father to that person,” Francis wrote.</p>
<p>Joseph is considered the <a href="https://catholiclife.diolc.org/2020/10/26/st-joseph-patron-of-a-happy-death/">patron of a happy death</a> because <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+19&version=NRSVCE">the Bible implies</a> that he died in the company of Jesus and Mary, before Jesus’ ministry and death. But in life, too, Catholicism sees Joseph as an encouraging ideal: a man who carried out his important role in the family with hope and joy.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/184524/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Gloria Falcão Dodd received funding from the Mariological Society of America in 1999.</span></em></p>The Catholic Church considers St. Joseph a role model of fatherhood and faith. In many countries, Father’s Day is celebrated on his feast day.Gloria Falcão Dodd, Research Professor, University of DaytonLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1833062022-06-16T12:25:06Z2022-06-16T12:25:06ZBabies don’t come with instruction manuals, so here are 5 tips for picking a parenting book<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469087/original/file-20220615-18-6vr9hj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=199%2C253%2C4762%2C3152&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Evidence-based and easy to read are two important criteria.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/father-reading-with-sleeping-baby-son-royalty-free-image/601800815">JGI/Tom Grill/Tetra images via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Babies don’t come with instruction manuals. Children are at once joyful, sad, confusing, predictable, generous, selfish, gentle and mean. What’s a parent to do when faced with such perplexing offspring? Given the complex interactions of parent, child and surroundings, parents often feel lost. Many may seek answers in parenting books.</p>
<p><a href="https://askwonder.com/research/avg-amount-millennial-parents-spend-parenting-books-apps-field-great-break-down-xjjsxbcdl">Parenting books are big business</a>, and there are tens of thousands of titles for sale. The big question, though, is: Do parenting books help?</p>
<p>How effective they are is a matter of debate, especially given the lack of scientific evidence regarding their usefulness. Limited research has found that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-006-9041-2">problem-focused self-help books may be helpful</a> to readers – think tips about time management or healthy eating. And studies find that using books independently to improve well-being – what psychologists call bibliotherapy – is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2021.103543">somewhat effective for addressing stress</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.2147/NDT.S152747">anxiety and depression</a>.</p>
<p>So it makes sense that reading a parenting book could be useful. In terms of quality and usefulness, however, they exist on a continuum.</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=20slzkIAAAAJ&hl=en">We’re scholars</a> <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=f2RwlNoAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">of human development</a>, have taught thousands of students about parenting and write about family, parenting and development through the lifespan. One of us (Bethany) is the mother of six little ones, while the other of us (Denise) has two adult children, one of whom is Bethany. We believe that parents can become <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/45398785">critical thinkers and choose the books</a> that will be most appropriate for them. Here are five questions to think about when you’re looking for the best parenting book for you.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="woman in bookstore with toddler in baby carrier" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469088/original/file-20220615-10847-g5wxlj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">With so many books to choose from, put in some effort to find a good fit.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/young-asian-mother-reading-books-to-lovely-little-royalty-free-image/1147930346">d3sign/Moment via Getty Images</a></span>
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</figure>
<h2>1. Who wrote it and why?</h2>
<p>A good parent doesn’t need a Ph.D.; neither does an author. However, an advanced degree in an area related to parenting helps in understanding and interpreting relevant research.</p>
<p>Another consideration is the experience of the author. Having one or a dozen children does not make someone an expert. Doing more parenting doesn’t necessarily make you better at it. Not having a child doesn’t disqualify someone from being an expert, either, but should be thoughtfully considered. We taught parenting classes before having children, and it’s fair to say that our own parenting experiences have added depth, insight and even grace to what we teach.</p>
<p>The reason someone wrote a parenting book can also be informative. Advice from authors who write out of angst about their own upbringing or who failed at parenting should be taken with a grain of salt. </p>
<p>Finally, don’t let celebrities’ books fool you. Most of these are written by <a href="https://professionalghost.com/blog/how-common-are-ghostwriters/">ghostwriters</a> and are primarily designed to sell books or build a brand.</p>
<h2>2. Is it based on science?</h2>
<p>Psychology researcher and <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ten-Basic-Principles-of-Good-Parenting/Laurence-Steinberg/9780743251167">parenting expert Laurence Steinberg</a> writes that scientists have studied parenting for over 75 years, and findings related to effective parenting are among the most consistent and longstanding in social science. If you notice inconsistencies between parenting books, it’s because “<a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ten-Basic-Principles-of-Good-Parenting/Laurence-Steinberg/9780743251167">few popular books are grounded in well-documented science</a>.”</p>
<p>How can you tell if a book is grounded in science? Look for citations, names of researchers, sources and an index. Also, learn the basic principles of effective parenting determined through decades of research and <a href="https://www.newswise.com/articles/ten-basic-principles-of-good-parenting-science-of-raising-children">outlined by Steinberg</a>. They include: set rules, be consistent, be loving, treat children with respect, and avoid harsh discipline.</p>
<p>If the book you’re considering is not consistent with these guidelines, rethink its parenting advice. Likely it’s based not on science but opinion or personal belief. Opinion and belief have a place, but science is better in this space.</p>
<h2>3. Is it interesting to read?</h2>
<p>If the book is not interesting, you are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10862969009547717">unlikely to finish it, much less learn from it</a>. Before taking a book home, read the first page and flip to a page in the middle to see if it grabs your attention. Try to find books that you can read in small bites, skip around in, and return to in the future.</p>
<p>Avoid books that contain “psychobabble,” pseudoscientific jargon that has an air of authenticity but lacks clarity. For example, the publisher’s description of the book “<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/603436.Indigo_Children">The Indigo Children: The New Kids have Arrived</a>” reads, “The Indigo Child is a child who displays a new and unusual set of psychological attributes that reveal a pattern of behavior generally undocumented before. This pattern has common yet unique factors that demand that parents and teachers change their treatment and upbringing of them in order to achieve balance. To ignore these new patterns is to potentially create great frustration in the minds of these precious new lives.” Pass.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="two men sit on bed with baby with a tall bookshelf against the wall" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/469089/original/file-20220615-11210-leelbp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Even a shelf full of books can’t cover your family’s exact – and always changing – circumstances.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/fathers-starting-the-day-with-newborn-royalty-free-image/1160661769">Willie B. Thomas/DigitalVision via Getty Images</a></span>
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</figure>
<h2>4. Is it realistic?</h2>
<p>Run, don’t walk, from any book that tells you its method always works or any failure is because of you – or worse yet, ignores failure. </p>
<p>It’s impossible to provide advice for every single parent, child and situation! An effective parenting book appreciates context and complexity and informs the reader that not all answers are in the book. No parent is perfect, but <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721413504106">recognizing weaknesses and failures leads to growth and improvement</a>, and no child is completely malleable. Even parents who do everything right may have children who become wayward.</p>
<p>Make sure the book provides you with detailed <a href="https://doi.org/10.1126/science.abj9957">instructions and things to do</a>, as well as ways to track improvements. In other words, make sure it is actionable.</p>
<p>Finally, a parenting book should respect a parent’s instincts. </p>
<h2>5. Does it motivate and inspire hope?</h2>
<p>Some parenting books offer insights related to general behavior, like “<a href="https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684033881/raising-good-humans/">Raising Good Humans</a>.” Others offer insights for specific issues, like “<a href="https://www.platypusmedia.com/product-page/safe-infant-sleep-expert-answers-to-your-cosleeping-questions">Safe Infant Sleep: Expert Answers to Your Cosleeping Questions</a>.” Likely, you will be more motivated to read a book that reflects your specific needs and values and leaves you feeling hopeful.</p>
<p>A word of caution, however. One study found that parenting books that stress strict routines for infant sleep, feeding and general care might actually make parents <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2017.1378650">feel worse by increasing depression, stress and doubt</a>. Parenting research does not support overly strict routines, and it’s easy to understand why most of these parents did not find such books useful.</p>
<h2>Remember to trust yourself</h2>
<p>When you read a parenting book, the goal is to feel empowered, more confident, excited and even relieved. You are not alone, nor are you the only parent with questions.</p>
<p>Psychologist <a href="https://psychology.jrank.org/pages/659/Edward-F-Zigler.html">Edward Zigler</a> described parenting as “the <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/handbook-of-parenting-volume-3-status-and-social-conditions-of-parenting/oclc/967239514&referer=brief_results">most challenging and most complex</a> of all the tasks of adulthood.”</p>
<p>Yes, parenting can be tough. In your parenting adventures, you’ll likely need all the resources and tools you can muster. With thoughtful and critical explorations, you can find books that enhance your personal wisdom and intuition to help in raising these delightfully complicated little humans.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/183306/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Being a parent can be tricky, and many turn to parenting guides for help in figuring out what to do. Two human development scholars have tips for picking a book that will be useful for you.Denise Bodman, Principal Lecturer in Social and Family Dynamics, Arizona State UniversityBethany Bustamante Van Vleet, Principal Lecturer in Family and Human Development, Arizona State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1821412022-05-25T01:01:42Z2022-05-25T01:01:42ZSurprise! How men react when becoming a dad isn’t part of the plan<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/460488/original/file-20220429-13-qbw5dq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C1000%2C663&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/close-woman-hands-hiding-pregnancy-test-1195326700">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>For many dads, having a child is unplanned. What happens next can vary. One man said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>We broke up and she called me soon after to tell me she was pregnant […] she just asked me if I wanted to be in our baby’s life and I accepted without thinking twice.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Another said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I wanted to have an abortion, since we weren’t ready, but it wasn’t my choice, it was hers […] but the resentment was there for a long time.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>These two comments came from tens of thousands of posts on the social media site Reddit we analysed as part of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2667321522000476?via%3Dihub">our research</a> into men’s experiences of unplanned pregnancy.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/we-studied-100-years-of-australian-fatherhood-heres-how-todays-dads-differ-from-their-grandfathers-166348">We studied 100 years of Australian fatherhood. Here's how today's dads differ from their grandfathers</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Unplanned pregnancies are common</h2>
<p>Having an unplanned child is more common than you might think. In Australia <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26456762/">40% of pregnancies</a> are mis-timed, unexpected or unwanted. That’s an estimate comparable with rates <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/langlo/article/PIIS2214-109X(18)30029-9/fulltext">worldwide</a>.</p>
<p>Most research on the impact of unplanned pregnancies focuses on mothers. We wanted to know about the experiences of dads. So we turned to two forums specifically for <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/">new</a> and <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/predaddit/">expecting dads</a> on Reddit.</p>
<p>We “scraped” tens of thousands of posts, spanning a year, then applied an innovative <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30744717/">machine learning</a> technique to group the data into meaningful topics. This allowed us to identify themes in the men’s online discussions.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/machine-learning-is-changing-our-culture-try-this-text-altering-tool-to-see-how-159430">Machine learning is changing our culture. Try this text-altering tool to see how</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Here’s what we found</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2667321522000476?via%3Dihub">Our research showed</a> men who reluctantly or unexpectedly became fathers experienced a complex range of emotions and reactions. Many needed support. </p>
<p>The dads in our study posted to Reddit using pseudonyms. So they were free to be honest and raw as they shared their emotions on a topic many consider taboo.</p>
<p>Some were “filled with regret”, “sadness”, “guilt” and hopelessness of a “never-ending, soul-crushing grind”. Some lacked bonds with their infants, one feeling “like the tin man without a heart”.</p>
<p>One man said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I keep on having really bad breakdown episodes. There are days when I just sit and cry thinking how miserable my life has become.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Unplanned fatherhood and postnatal depression</h2>
<p>Earlier research shows it’s common for dads to have <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S026661381930213X?casa_token=aFeik2hGNskAAAAA:jD_01eW0wFce3gXn9cpmIQV5prFnISfFZRQ_n6W41w19po1iP5evTq6rbR_h9xIDvbvu7FBL94A">short periods of negative thoughts</a> after their baby is born. Feelings of loss about their previous life are common.</p>
<p>However, persistent negative and intense emotions may indicate depression and anxiety at this time.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Baby in cot with father in background clutching cushion, holding head" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/461490/original/file-20220505-19-yssztk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Unplanned fatherhood increases a man’s risk of postnatal depression.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cute-baby-bed-young-father-suffering-1656784711">Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In fact, unintended fatherhood is linked to an <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-26354-019">increased</a> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953608005789?casa_token=cUY_BmkyG1AAAAAA:jnaSyT80P963Q7q9-IZXrzO2Djb2tLCuMptqhwKUFUkmzuS1qeAY3yzpiK6n6fyuGlvmRLW2X6U">risk</a> of a man having postnatal depression.</p>
<p>Paternal depression is, in turn, linked to a higher risk of depression <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20483973/">in their partners</a> and more behavioural problems <a href="https://www.mja.com.au/system/files/issues/195_11_121211/fle10192_fm.pdf">in their children</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/dads-get-postnatal-depression-too-55829">Dads get postnatal depression too</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Let’s debunk some myths</h2>
<p>Like earlier research, ours debunks the myth that <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-29612-001">men do not seek help</a> when in need. Men sought and received advice and support from other dads about everything from night feeds and nappies to reassurance that what they were feeling was normal.</p>
<p>Studies show <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21464468/">peer support</a>, often online, can be a foot-in-the-door for men who feel uncomfortable disclosing vulnerability. This is particularly important for a taboo subject such as unwanted parenthood. </p>
<p>In our study, not all men were distressed. Some reported feeling happy “but freaking out” and simultaneously “scared, hopeful, excited, terrified”.</p>
<p>Sharing experiences allowed these fathers to validate and normalise the full spectrum of their emotions and sometimes re-frame a sense of hopelessness. </p>
<p>Men told each other “you are not alone”, “I felt the same”, “it does get better” and “it’s not as bad as people say”.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/childrens-well-being-goes-hand-in-hand-with-their-dads-mental-health-102347">Children’s well-being goes hand in hand with their dads’ mental health</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>How to reduce the stigma</h2>
<p>In this study and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407519864444">our earlier research</a> men said they were concerned that not wanting children would be seen as abnormal.</p>
<p>We hope our work raises awareness that desire for children is not universal. We can do more to normalise and destigmatise varied narratives that represent how people feel about parenthood. </p>
<p>When it comes to family planning, a first step is to include men in discussions about reproductive health before they become fathers and are expecting a child. </p>
<p><a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/56e1ed8d3c44d863de3040ee/t/6271c31d5e3a870ef25d1df1/1651622690479/MT2021-09-071-MACDONALD.pdf">Pre-conception planning</a> with health professionals involves becoming physically and psychologically ready for parenthood and is important for mothers, fathers and, ultimately, their offspring. </p>
<p>Once the baby is born, it is important dads have access to support. Family and health-care systems are mainly focused on mothers and infants, and could be better <a href="https://www.healthymale.org.au/resources-tools/current-research-projects-studies/plus-paternal/case-for-change">equipped, resourced and trained</a> to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032720330111">detect fathers at risk of mental health problems</a>. <a href="https://coastfraseridpscd.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Zero-to-3-May-2015-Issue.pdf#page=62">Father-inclusive practice</a> is beneficial to fathers, mothers and children.</p>
<h2>When things go right</h2>
<p>When fathers have access to the right help at the right time, it can make all the difference. One man said:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I ended up going to a psychiatrist after a suicide attempt. It did some good, it faced me with my own immaturity. May I suggest trying it? Everybody is different, but it seriously helped in my case.</p>
</blockquote>
<hr>
<p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182141/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jacqui Macdonald is convener of the Australian Fatherhood Research Consortium.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Imogene Smith does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Most research on the impact of unplanned pregnancies focuses on mothers. So we turned to Reddit to find out what dads really thought.Imogene Smith, Casual academic, provisional psychologist and Doctor of Psychology (Clinical) candidate, Deakin UniversityJacqui Macdonald, Senior lecturer and research fellow in psychology, Deakin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1747542022-01-14T13:36:28Z2022-01-14T13:36:28ZWhat made Bob Saget’s Danny Tanner so different from other sitcom dads<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/440756/original/file-20220113-1530-1re1377.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=4%2C43%2C3234%2C2510&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Bob Saget, top left, was affectionately called 'America's Dad' for his role as Danny Tanner in the sitcom 'Full House.'</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/promotional-portrait-of-the-cast-of-the-television-series-news-photo/3126220?adppopup=true">Lorimar Television/Fotos International via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Bob Saget, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/09/arts/television/bob-saget-dead.html">who died on Jan. 9, 2022</a>, is probably best remembered for his role as Danny Tanner on the popular sitcom “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092359/">Full House</a>,” which aired from 1987 to 1995. </p>
<p>I think fans of the show have such fond memories of this character because Danny exemplified what it meant to “be there” as a parent. A single dad whose wife had passed away, he was eager to lend an ear to daughters D.J., Stephanie and Michelle, offering them support and reassurance through the twists and turns of childhood and adolescence.</p>
<p>Why heap so much praise on a sitcom dad? It’s easy to disregard TV as mere mindless entertainment. But entertainment media can both reflect and reshape culture – including how fathers interact with their children. <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/1990-25264-001">They can influence how viewers think about fathers</a>, regardless of the accuracy of those portrayals.</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=GzIcrG8AAAAJ&hl=en">As someone who studies stereotypes of fathers</a>, I view Danny as an avatar of the changing expectations of fatherhood that began in the late 1970s.</p>
<h2>Danny Tanner and ‘being there’</h2>
<p>Danny Tanner was a 30-something widower when Full House premiered. That wasn’t a common situation for his demographic – <a href="https://www.census.gov/prod/1/pop/p20-365.pdf">less than 1% in his bracket shared it</a> – and it allowed viewers to watch Danny parent his three daughters with the help of his brother-in-law and his best friend.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, in nearly every episode, viewers saw Danny “being there” for his family. “Being there” is a concept that describes <a href="https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=_gEDfhZp5s0C&oi=fnd&pg=PR1&dq=promises+i+can+keep&ots=8ac2OWdjLK&sig=mnXZdjICi5BLnhGI-Np8UrcfGlc#v=onepage&q=promises%20i%20can%20keep&f=false">being physically and emotionally involved with your children</a>. This term took <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12376">on particular significance for fathers in the late 20th century</a>. “Being there” allowed dads to be seen as more than just financial providers and recognized that fathers interact with their children in varied and important ways.</p>
<p>In the earlier part of the century, fathers were assumed to be breadwinners and not much else, a stereotype reflected in the era’s popular media. For example, sitcom fathers on “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046600/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0">Father Knows Best</a>,” which aired from 1954 to 1960, and “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051267/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3">The Donna Reed Show</a>,” which ended its run in 1966, bore little responsibility for actual child care beyond a pat on the head and some occasional discipline.</p>
<p>Beginning in the 1970s, psychologist Michael Lamb encouraged a change in how we thought about fathers and broadened the definition of what he called “<a href="https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/271493">father involvement</a>.”</p>
<p>Lamb proposed three dimensions of father involvement: engagement, availability and responsibility. The last of these, responsibility – which involved financial support and parental guidance – could be spotted in some form in the preceding sitcoms. But engagement and availability, which tend to involve day-to-day emotional support, were almost entirely foreign.</p>
<p>Danny Tanner’s approach to fatherhood, by contrast, demonstrated perhaps the fullest realization of these changing expectations.</p>
<p>One episode, “Back to School Blues,” featured oldest daughter D.J. starting junior high. Spoiler alert: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnIQu35CCDc">It doesn’t go well</a>. She’s teased by older girls, wears the same outfit as one of the teachers, and spends lunch alone. (I was a year younger than D.J., and this episode made me nervous about my own entry into junior high.) </p>
<p>When Danny doesn’t approve of D.J.’s attempts to look older to fit in and make friends, she storms off to her room saying she wants to be left alone. Danny says he can’t do that, and then listens as she explains everything that went wrong at school. </p>
<p>In this short scene, he reinforced family rules and provided emotional support, while showing that he would “be there” for D.J. whenever she needed.</p>
<h2>A different kind of dad</h2>
<p>Though Danny represented a departure from the typical sitcom father, he didn’t exactly spearhead a new trend. </p>
<p>Immature and irresponsible fathers – the kind seen in popular shows like “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096697/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0">The Simpsons</a>,” “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101120/">Home Improvement</a>” and “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092400/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0">Married … With Children</a>” – were more commonplace. To this day, <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-sitcom-dads-still-so-inept-139737">the stereotype of the bumbling dad persists on TV</a>.</p>
<figure>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Danny comforts D.J. after she admits she isn’t happy with her body.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2015-25403-001">In my research</a>, I found that single sitcom dads with full child care responsibilities were shown interacting with their children more often than married sitcom dads. Compared to their married counterparts on the tube, they were more likely to offer kindness, care, love, support and guidance. Along with Danny, these characters included Mr. Drummond on “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077003/">Diff’rent Strokes</a>,” Tony Micelli in “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086827/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0">Who’s the Boss?</a>” and Maxwell Sheffield on “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106080/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0">The Nanny</a>.”</p>
<p>On the other hand, married sitcom father-child interactions were more likely to involve criticism and sarcastic humor. In fact, married sitcom fathers often made jokes at their children’s expense.</p>
<p>Why does this discrepancy exist? </p>
<p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00473.x?casa_token=L_W94GXie6kAAAAA:hB5-n-UFrNCGS2C2vVjT1oBL8bdvSocrrzk99GlyY_oy_kOP6jzVByhxeyrDmKaLXMUmLOgMJ26YnVpC">My research has found</a> that in real life, married fathers are thought to be loving and kind but with room for improvement as parents. They’re seen as the right-hand man to mothers, who have taken the lead in parenting. Because of this, people expect more bumbling and less skill.</p>
<p>Single dads, however, tend to be viewed as selfless and dedicated, because the assumption is that they’ve put their children above all else.</p>
<p>Danny Tanner isn’t the novelty today that he was in the early 1990s. But if his character is instructive in any way, it’s that dads shouldn’t have to lose their wives to be the best parent they can be.</p>
<p>[<em>Get the best of The Conversation, every weekend.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/weekly-highlights-61?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=weeklybest">Sign up for our weekly newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/174754/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jessica Troilo does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>A contrast to the bumbling and immature fathers commonly found on sitcoms, Bob Saget’s character on ‘Full House’ reflected a shift in expectations of fatherhood that began in the late 1970s.Jessica Troilo, Associate Professor of Child Development and Family Studies, West Virginia UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1709912022-01-06T13:17:50Z2022-01-06T13:17:50ZCollege students with young kids – especially mothers – find themselves in a time crunch<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/435950/original/file-20211206-25-1dfbznk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=10%2C0%2C7004%2C4689&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Mothers in college have less time to study than students without children. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/woman-with-baby-son-working-royalty-free-image/968890474?adppopup=true">10'000 Hours/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>The <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/research-brief-83231">Research Brief</a> is a short take about interesting academic work.</em></p>
<h2>The big idea</h2>
<p>We found that college students who have children had significantly less time for college than their childless peers – about 4.3 hours less per week, to be specific – and that this <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00221546.2018.1442983">“time poverty”</a> is greatest for mothers of preschool-age children. That’s according to a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/23328584211011608">2021 study of 11,195 U.S. college students</a>. </p>
<p>Our <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/23328584211011608">study</a> found other trends as well. Student parents also often had to care for children while they were studying. The most “time-poor” parents sacrificed a great deal more of their free time for their studies than childless students who had more time and could complete an academic degree more rapidly.</p>
<p>Among all student parents, those with the youngest children – and mothers in particular – had the least time for college and were likelier to enroll in college part time.“ For example, parents with children less than a year old spent a higher proportion of their free time – time left over after all necessary tasks – on their education than any other group. This was perhaps an attempt to make up for the fact that they had less time for their studies. </p>
<p>In addition, despite having less available time for their studies in the first place, mothers on average spent more time on their education than fathers. For example, among parents with children ages 1-5, mothers had 8.4 fewer hours per week to spend on their studies than fathers with children of the same age. Still, these mothers spent almost two more hours per week on their education than fathers. </p>
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<h2>Why it matters</h2>
<p>This time difference matters, because college students with children are more likely to drop out and take longer to complete their degrees than college students without children, even though on average they have <a href="https://www.publicnewsservice.org/2021-03-19/education/report-college-students-with-children-have-slightly-higher-gpas/a73603-1">higher GPAs</a>, according to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00221546.2018.1442983">a study we published in 2018</a>.</p>
<p>In <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/23328584211011608">our 2021 study</a>, having less time for college explained much of the difference in time spent on education between college students who have children and those who don’t, as well as between mothers and fathers. It also explained differences among these groups in part-time enrollment. </p>
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<p>However, mothers and fathers who lived with other adult family members who could help with child care were able to devote more time to their college work. They also spent less time studying while simultaneously caring for children, and they enrolled in college full time more often. Each additional adult family member living with a student parent increased the time they spent on their studies by over 1.5 hours each week. It also increased the time student parents spent studying without children present by 5 percentage points and their probability of enrolling full time by over 2 percentage points. This suggests that access to child care is critical to the progress of student parents.</p>
<p>Improving outcomes for student parents is important not just for students but for their families. One reason for this is that achieving a college degree is linked to <a href="https://scholars.org/contribution/helping-parents-get-college-education-helps-children-succeed">better economic and educational outcomes for their children</a>.</p>
<h2>What still isn’t known</h2>
<p>We don’t yet know which kinds of supports might work best to improve outcomes for college students who are parents, but there are several potential solutions. </p>
<p>On-campus child care at colleges in the U.S. currently serves only about <a href="https://iwpr.org/iwpr-general/improving-child-care-access-to-promote-postsecondary-success-among-low-income-parents/">5% of student parents’ needs</a> and <a href="http://www.iwpr.org/publications/pubs/4.8-million-college-students-are-raising-children">has declined over the last several decades</a>. </p>
<p>One possible approach could be to invest more systematically in on-campus child care centers at colleges to support student parents. Another approach could be to increase federal financial aid awards to automatically cover the costs of child care that student parents need in order to study or attend class. </p>
<h2>What’s next</h2>
<p>Time poverty may be a challenge also for students who are not parents. Currently, we are looking at time poverty rates for other groups, such as students who enroll in online courses, women and students of color, to explore the extent to which time poverty is unequally distributed, and whether it may explain inequitable college outcomes for these groups. This may help us to understand whether different groups finish college at different rates because of differences in how much time they have to devote to their studies.</p>
<p>[<em>Like what you’ve read? Want more?</em> <a href="https://memberservices.theconversation.com/newsletters/?source=inline-likethis">Sign up for The Conversation’s daily newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/170991/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Claire Wladis receives funding from the National Science Foundation. </span></em></p>College students with children have slightly higher GPAs but often take a longer time to graduate and are more likely to drop out of school.Claire Wladis, Professor of Urban Education, CUNY Graduate CenterLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1613952021-06-16T14:01:38Z2021-06-16T14:01:38ZNurturing dads raise emotionally intelligent kids – helping make society more respectful and equitable<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/405752/original/file-20210610-11008-1xeawp1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=8%2C0%2C5418%2C3612&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Boys often mirror the habits, interests and values of their own fathers. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sonny-norris-and-his-son-tru-attend-an-outdoor-sunday-news-photo/1221662207">Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>When my oldest son was born in July of 2008, I thought I could easily balance my career and my desire to be far more engaged at home than my father and his generation were. I was wrong. </p>
<p>Almost immediately, I noticed how social policies, schools and health care systems all make it difficult for dads to be highly involved and engaged at home. Contradictory expectations about work and family life abound. </p>
<p>As a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=HT6hQq8AAAAJ&hl=en">fatherhood researcher</a> with four kids of my own, I am convinced that fathers are transformative figures for children, families and communities. </p>
<p>But a man’s mere presence, paycheck and willingness to punish misbehaving children is not nearly enough. Many of the benefits of fathering for children come from dads being nurturing, loving and engaged in all aspects of parenting. </p>
<p>When fathers are caregivers – when they provide emotional support and act affectionately toward their kids – the effects go well beyond growth, development, good health and solid grades. My research shows the benefits also include having children who value emotional intelligence, gender equality and healthy competition.</p>
<h2>Nurturing versus stoic dads</h2>
<p>Thinking about the broad impact fathers have, I analyzed how fathering affects different social values – such as a belief in gender equality – in May 2021.</p>
<p>Surveying more than 2,500 American fathers 18 and older, I found that involved fathering has a long-lasting impact on the personal principles and cultural perspectives of children.</p>
<p>In my survey, the differences between the least nurturing and the most nurturing fathers are stark. </p>
<p>Surveyed fathers who reported that their own fathers were highly withdrawn tended to be hypercompetitive, emotionally stoic and unappreciative of women’s contributions outside the home. </p>
<p>In contrast, surveyed fathers who said they had highly nurturing dads were much more likely to achieve their goals in a healthy manner, be more emotionally open and believe in equitable partnership. </p>
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<h2>How dads instill values</h2>
<p>Several decades ago, many fathers <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/">were unwilling or unable</a> to provide their children with emotional support or physical care. Instead, they focused on bread-winning, children’s discipline and simply being present in the home. </p>
<p>These traditional norms left many contemporary fathers ill-equipped for modern parenthood. Contemporary social norms set <a href="https://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/changing-father">broad expectations for fathers</a>: rule enforcement and economically supporting the family while also providing for children’s physical and emotional needs.</p>
<p>Broad paternal involvement with kids is important because dads have unique effects on kids. Children’s values, beliefs, emotional expression and social development are <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.7312/wilc16068">strongly associated with fathering</a>. Kids are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12048">better regulated emotionally, more resilient and more open-minded</a> when their fathers are <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/269042113_Should_Researchers_Conceptualize_Differently_the_Dimensions_of_Parenting_for_Fathers_and_Mothers">involved in their education and socialization</a>.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.doi.org/0.3149/fth.0903.268">Boys</a>, for better and worse, often mirror the habits, interests and values of their own fathers. </p>
<p>My colleague <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=VdQrF3QAAAAJ&hl=en">Scott Easton</a> and I found that how one’s father behaves is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12759">especially powerful</a> given that cultural, social and institutional norms about fatherhood are much weaker than they are for motherhood.</p>
<p>For example, mothers have traditionally been known for showing children affection and providing emotional support. Social expectations for these behaviors are not well defined among fathers. As a result, dads have a much larger impact on their sons’ fathering behaviors than moms have on their daughters’ mothering behaviors. </p>
<p>Positively, this means that a sizable portion of men replicate the best attributes of their own fathers – such as being loving and affectionate. Negatively, this means bad behaviors – such as extremely harsh discipline – are sometimes repeated across generations. </p>
<p>However, some men compensate for their own fathers’ poor or nonexistent parenting by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X14528712">forming their own ideas and values</a> about parenting.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Father holds daughter's hand while walking together" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=419&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=419&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=419&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=526&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=526&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/405171/original/file-20210608-23-1mut3lp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=526&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Men often replicate the best attributes of their own fathers – such as being loving and affectionate.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/father-walks-hand-in-hand-with-his-daughter-as-they-enjoy-a-news-photo/997809216">Robert Alexander/Getty Images</a></span>
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</figure>
<h2>Benefits for all</h2>
<p>The findings from my survey build on <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.01173.x">decades of research</a> on the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12645">benefits of positive fathering</a>. And these advantages aren’t just for children.</p>
<p>Mothers and other parenting partners are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12645">healthier and happier</a> when fathers are highly engaged with their kids. Men who care for and support their kids benefit too – with improved <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Involved-Fathering-and-Mens-Adult-Development-Provisional-Balances/Palkovitz/p/book/9780805835656">self-image, life purpose and relationships</a>. And <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1998-07070-015">communities gain</a> increased trust and safety from the relationships built when fathers positively participate in their kids’ activities, schooling and social networks. </p>
<h2>Valuing supportive fathers</h2>
<p>How can American society ensure that healthy competition, emotional openness and respect for women are widespread among future generations of men and fathers? Part of the answer is by <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-dads-cant-be-the-dads-they-want-to-be-75045">valuing loving, supportive fathering</a>. </p>
<p>That means more support for fathers in workplaces, public policy and institutions. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-019-01050-y">Paid family leave</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cars.12315">flexible work arrangements</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00551.x">integration of fathers into prenatal and postnatal care</a> are all effective ways to encourage fathers to be more involved.</p>
<p>Many fathers increased their share of child care tasks <a href="https://theconversation.com/canadian-dads-are-doing-more-at-home-than-before-the-coronavirus-pandemic-142236">during the COVID-19 pandemic</a>. These shifts may become permanent, ultimately changing cultural values around parenting and gender roles.</p>
<p>Society also needs to provide clearer messaging to fathers about what does and does not work in parenting. For example, my colleagues and I have shown that men who believe they should be nurturing parents are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/men0000336">more involved</a> in their children’s lives. Fathers who demonstrate healthy masculine traits like assertiveness and strong goal orientation also tend to be sensitive, engaged parents. </p>
<p>Thus, there are many routes to transformative fathering. And this is not simply behavior for biological fathers. Fatherhood is broadly defined, and people often look to nonbiological father figures like relatives, stepfathers, foster fathers and unrelated mentors. </p>
<p>All men who support and care for children have a critical role to play in instilling positive social values in future generations.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/161395/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kevin Shafer receives funding from US Department of Health and Human Services.</span></em></p>Fathers whose own dads were highly nurturing tend to have healthier levels of competition and be more emotionally open.Kevin Shafer, Associate Professor of Sociology and Director of Canadian Studies, Brigham Young UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1456272020-09-13T19:51:09Z2020-09-13T19:51:09ZPaid parental leave needs an overhaul if governments want us to have ‘one for the country’<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/357128/original/file-20200909-14-hl43n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=151%2C220%2C3279%2C1776&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock/AlohaHawaii</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>As Australia and New Zealand face the realities of slow growth, or even a decline in population, it’s time to ask if their governments are doing enough. Especially if they want to encourage people to have more babies.</p>
<p>New Zealand’s fertility rate has hit an all-time <a href="https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PO2008/S00108/nz-fertility-rate-is-at-all-time-low.htm">low</a> of 1.71 children per woman. The opposition National Party <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/122653707/election-2020-national-launches-first-1000-days-policy-promises-3000-for-new-parents">wants</a> to entice parents with a NZ$3,000 “baby bonus” to be spent on family services.</p>
<p>Australia’s population growth rate is <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-07-24/treasurer-josh-frydenberg-baby-boom-economy-recovery-coronavirus/12489678">forecast</a> to be 0.6% in 2021, its lowest since 1916.</p>
<p>Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenburg urged Australians to have more children, reminding many of then treasurer Peter Costello’s <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/politics/federal/budget-bonus-for-mothers-and-families-20060508-ge29qi.html">encouragement to those who can</a> to have “one for mum, one for dad and one for the country”.</p>
<p>But if governments want people to procreate for their nation, they must be prepared to help them, and that includes increases in paid parental leave. </p>
<h2>The current system</h2>
<p>New Zealand <a href="https://doi.org/10.26686/pq.v2i1.4189" title="Paid parental leave in New Zealand: a short history and future policy options">introduced</a> <a href="https://www.employment.govt.nz/leave-and-holidays/parental-leave/types-of-parental-leave/">paid parental leave</a> in 1999, first as a tax credit then as a cash payment. Over time, the length was increased from 12 to 26 weeks, currently paid to <a href="https://www.employment.govt.nz/leave-and-holidays/parental-leave/parental-leave-payment/payment-amount/">a maximum of NZ$606.46 a week</a>.</p>
<p>There is no paid parental leave offered to dads or partners (although they are legally entitled to two weeks’ unpaid leave). But mums may transfer a portion of the 26 weeks to the dad or partner.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/reforming-dad-leave-is-a-baby-step-towards-greater-gender-equality-144113">Reforming 'dad leave' is a baby step towards greater gender equality</a>
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</p>
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<p>Ten years ago, Australia was one of the last countries in the developed world to adopt government-funded maternity leave.</p>
<p>It offers the primary carer (<a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/cheaper-childcare/">99.5% of the time, the mum</a>) <a href="https://www.fairwork.gov.au/leave/maternity-and-parental-leave/paid-parental-leave">18 weeks of paid leave at the minimum wage</a> (<a href="https://www.fairwork.gov.au/how-we-will-help/templates-and-guides/fact-sheets/minimum-workplace-entitlements/minimum-wages">currently A$753.80</a>). Only two weeks at the minimum wage is provided for the secondary carer.</p>
<p>When you compare the payment rates of parental leave to average salaries in each country (table below), Australia’s 18 weeks drops to an equivalent of 7.9 weeks annual average salary and New Zealand from 26 weeks to 15.5 weeks.</p>
<p><iframe id="tbVQl" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/tbVQl/3/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>These low leave payments appear even less generous when compared to the <a href="https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/Parental-leave-and-gender-equality.pdf">OECD average</a> of 54.1 weeks of paid parental leave for mums and <a href="https://www.oecd.org/els/soc/PF2_1_Parental_leave_systems.pdf">eight weeks </a> for dads or partners. </p>
<p>While employers often top up state-paid parental leave entitlements, this is not always the case. For example, Australia’s <a href="https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/Parental-leave-and-gender-equality.pdf">Workplace Gender Equality Agency</a> found more than 70% of financial services companies offered paid parental leave, but more than 80% of retail businesses did not.</p>
<h2>Earning or caring</h2>
<p>Given that dads or partners on both sides of the ditch face either no income for two weeks or less then half of the average income, it’s no wonder they choose to keep working to support their families financially.</p>
<p>We know from an Australian Human Rights Commission <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/sites/default/files/document/publication/SWP_Report_2014.pdf">study in 2014</a> that 85% of dads and partners surveyed took up to four weeks’ leave, and more than half said they would have liked to take more to spend time with mum and newborn. There are <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jftr.12363" title="Fathering and Flexible Working Arrangements: A Systematic Interdisciplinary Review">substantial benefits</a> including an increase in the mental health and well‐being of fathers and their children as well as greater harmony for the couple. </p>
<p>Motherhood <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-parenthood-continues-to-cost-women-more-than-men-97243">penalises</a> women, contributing to significantly <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-07-30/superannation-young-women-fear-retirement-canberra-ywca-report/11365120">lower lifetime earnings</a>. Not to mention the “second shift” of domestic duties they do if they are balancing work and family. </p>
<p>If dads and partners spend more time with their families earlier on in their children’s lives, this increases the likelihood that household chores and caring responsibilities will be more <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.5172/jfs.2014.20.1.19" title="Changes in gender equality? Swedish fathers’ parental leave, division of childcare and housework">evenly distributed</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A mum, dad and a baby." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/357134/original/file-20200909-14-9ck1iw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Happier families if proper paid leave helps both parents to be involved in early baby care.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock/Dragon Images</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Womens’ employment has also <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-06-10/women-have-lost-jobs-faster-than-men-during-coronavirus-but-are/12338598">been</a> hit harder by the COVID-19 pandemic. This includes receiving <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-06-09/childcare-changes-to-disproportionately-affect-women/12333398">less government assistance</a>.</p>
<p>The move to roll back free child care in Australia was <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/jun/08/australian-government-to-end-free-childcare-on-12-july-in-move-labor-says-will-snap-families">called</a> a “betrayal of Australian families” and “an anti-women move” by Greens Senator Mehreen Faruqi.</p>
<p>In addition to the “second shift”, women bear the brunt of a “third shift” – known as <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic">the mental load</a>. The business of running the family is characteristically undervalued and unpaid emotional labour, which is <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/15487733.2020.1776561?needAccess=true">mostly</a> taken care of by women. </p>
<p>For many dual-income families, lockdown has changed the allocation of household chores and caring responsibilities. <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-06-20/coronavirus-covid19-domestic-work-housework-gender-gap-women-men/12369708">Research</a> shows the gap between men and women has narrowed.</p>
<h2>More women in the workplace</h2>
<p>In the upcoming New Zealand election, it will be interesting to see how the different parties deal with supporting families, the gender pay gap and female workforce participation.</p>
<p>If ever an example was needed to show how satisfying a non-traditional care arrangement can be for both parents, consider <a href="https://www.afr.com/politics/stayathome-dad-to-help-jacinda-ardern-be-pm--a-mum-20180119-h0kz9h">stay-at-home dad Clarke Gayford</a>, who supports Jacinda Ardern to be New Zealand’s prime minister.</p>
<p>Our previous <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1441358220300070" title="Increasing parental leave uptake: A systems social marketing approach">research</a> found government policy alone does not increase the uptake of dads or partners taking parental leave. Changing workplace norms to support them is a key factor in creating flexible work arrangements and increasing parental leave uptake. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/fathers-days-increasing-the-daddy-quota-in-parental-leave-makes-everyone-happier-122047">Father's days: increasing the 'daddy quota' in parental leave makes everyone happier</a>
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<p>Working from home has made <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/business/the-economy/there-s-a-silver-lining-for-fathers-in-the-covid-crisis-20200424-p54n1z.html">fatherhood</a> more visible and increased the time some Australian dads <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-06-20/coronavirus-covid19-domestic-work-housework-gender-gap-women-men/12369708">spend</a> caring for their children. </p>
<p>In a post-pandemic world, care responsibilities can no longer be labelled a private matter. New Zealand and Australia both have parental leave policies that fail to offer families real choices about care arrangements.</p>
<p>Dads and partners need their own leave entitlements and greater acceptance of their <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jftr.12363" title="Fathering and Flexible Working Arrangements: A Systematic Interdisciplinary Review">caring responsibilities</a> in the workplace. These changes will challenge caring as women’s work, ease the burden on women and may even boost the fertility rate.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/145627/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>If governments are looking for a post-pandemic “baby boom” to help populations grow, then they should increase the amount and duration of paid parental leave for both mums and partners.Sarah Duffy, Lecturer, School of Business, Western Sydney UniversityMichelle O'Shea, Senior Lecturer Management, Western Sydney UniversityPatrick van Esch, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, AUT Business School, Auckland University of TechnologyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1422362020-07-21T18:56:03Z2020-07-21T18:56:03ZCanadian dads are doing more at home than before the coronavirus pandemic<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/348433/original/file-20200720-102864-1ue489b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=566%2C53%2C6566%2C4705&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">While Canadian moms are still doing the lion's share of child care and housework, in the early days of the pandemic, Canadian dads stepped up their efforts. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Over the past few months, everyday housework, like cooking and washing dishes, has multiplied and most parents have become responsible for teaching their kids. Given the uneven distribution of these tasks before the pandemic, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/16/womens-coronavirus-domestic-burden">much of this extra work has fallen squarely on mothers</a>. </p>
<p>Our work looks at trends <a href="https://doi.org/10.31235/osf.io/24j87">in housework and child care during the early stages of the pandemic in Canada</a> as one way to measure how it might disproportionately harm women.</p>
<p>Housework and child care are important markers of equity for a few reasons. Family responsibilities often default to mothers, negatively impacting their <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/10/01/women-more-than-men-adjust-their-careers-for-family-life/">career and economic opportunities</a>. Women’s <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-011-9986-4">physical and mental health</a> is linked to how equally partners share family-related tasks. <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_an_unfair_division_of_labor_hurts_your_relationship">Romantic relationship quality and stability</a> are also tied to perceptions of equity in housework and child care. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A dad reads to his baby in a blue onesie." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348436/original/file-20200720-23-1ve2608.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Research finds that dads are stepping up to the challenges of housework and child care posed by the pandemic.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Picsea/Unsplash)</span></span>
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</figure>
<h2>Housework and child care</h2>
<p>We surveyed nearly 1,250 Canadian mothers and fathers about family and work arrangements before and during the pandemic. Because of the substantial gender gaps in housework and child care before COVID-19, we looked at the perception of how much domestic work Canadian fathers were doing immediately before the pandemic in May 2020, about a month and a half after public health orders took effect. </p>
<p>When it came to preparing meals, cleaning and shopping for essentials, a small proportion of men were perceived as reducing their portion, most did about the same and a sizeable minority increased their share. Indeed, in the central tasks of preparing meals, doing dishes and housecleaning, about twice as many men increased their share as decreased it.</p>
<p>Notably, shifts are uneven across tasks. For example, fathers took on less of the laundry — <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-503-x/2015001/article/54931/c-g/c-g04-eng.htm">the task fathers did the least before the pandemic</a> — than meal preparation or going to the grocery store. Although many men do the majority of tasks like lawn mowing or house repair, these are fundamentally different activities because they are done less frequently and are often non-essential.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=304&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=304&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=304&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=382&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=382&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346435/original/file-20200708-47-1mfmu1b.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=382&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Perceived changes in housework since beginning of pandemic.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shafer, Scheibling, & Milkie 2020)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In considering child care, we looked at a gamut of parenting tasks: from enforcing rules to organizing daily routines and activities. The patterns around child care largely mirror those for housework. Interestingly, increases in paternal task sharing are highest for those tasks most commonly associated with fathering — like playing with children. </p>
<p>At the same time, however, a number of fathers are increasingly engaged in physical caregiving (e.g., changing diapers, helping kids get dressed, etc.) and providing emotional support. In an era where <a href="https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/March-2020/How-to-Ease-Children-s-Anxiety-About-COVID-19">kids’ routines have been suddenly upended and their mental health has appreciably declined</a>, this may be an important shift in the paternal role.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=433&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=433&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=433&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=545&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=545&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346436/original/file-20200708-31-1kqvo66.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=545&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Perceived changes in child care since beginning of pandemic.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shafer, Scheibling, & Milkie 2020)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Of course, mothers’ work in the home increased, as well. But notably, we found that both mothers and fathers report a movement toward more equality in most tasks — although there are important gender differences in these perceptions. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=511&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=511&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=511&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=642&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=642&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/346934/original/file-20200710-62-174he9l.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=642&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Gender differences in perceptions of fathers’ increased labour.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shafer, Scheibling, & Milkie 2020)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Stagnation or regression</h2>
<p>There is good reason to worry about the effects of COVID-19 on gender equality. Although the percentage of women in the <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-503-x/2015001/article/14694/c-g/c-g01-eng.htm">paid labour force</a> has doubled in the past 50 years, men’s participation in domestic labour <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-503-x/2015001/article/54931-eng.htm">has failed to keep pace</a>. In 1986, Canadian fathers spent about 40 per cent of the time mothers put into housework and child care. Three decades later, those gaps have narrowed, but women still perform the majority of housework and child care.</p>
<p>Persistent inequality in domestic labour has many sources — all of which could be amplified during the pandemic. Gender pay gaps, <a href="https://www.thirdway.org/report/the-fatherhood-bonus-and-the-motherhood-penalty-parenthood-and-the-gender-gap-in-pay">particularly among parents</a>, often cause families to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-016-1539-3">privilege the careers of fathers</a> over mothers. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/soc4.12043">Societal expectations</a> and the lack of policy supports, like access to affordable child care, pressure many women to reduce their hours or quit working in order to care for young children.</p>
<p>Work arrangements of heterosexual parents also play an important role in the maintenance of inequalities at home. For example, mothers do about <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-503-x/2015001/article/54931-eng.htm">14 additional hours of housework each week</a> in families where fathers are the only breadwinner, but the gap is only four hours in dual-earner families. </p>
<p>Increased family need, combined with commonly held gender norms and work–family arrangements may cause many families to prioritize men’s work during this pandemic. Research from both <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2020-077">Canada</a> and <a href="https://www.ifs.org.uk/uploads/BN290-Mothers-and-fathers-balancing-work-and-life-under-lockdown.pdf">the United Kingdom</a>, for example, shows that a significant number of mothers voluntarily left the labour force in order to take on expanded child care, educational and household needs. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A mom holds two kids in her lap on a brown couch as they look at a tablet." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/348435/original/file-20200720-92332-1qaqfin.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Canadian moms, often earning less than their male partners, are forced to leave work during times of crisis.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Alexander Dummer/Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Fathers stepping up</h2>
<p>While couples may have been pushed toward greater inequality, there may be countervailing forces. COVID-19 public health orders led many men to <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/45-28-0001/2020001/article/00026-eng.htm">work from home</a>, which made many fathers more keenly aware of domestic and parental tasks suddenly thrown into their workdays. </p>
<p>Research on flexible work arrangements has shown that fathers <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12363">who choose to telecommute</a> tend to be more involved parents than fathers with less flexible work arrangements. However, there may be significant differences between dads who voluntarily used flexible work opportunities pre-pandemic and those who were involuntarily forced into working from home.</p>
<p>Increases in <a href="https://theconversation.com/heres-how-the-coronavirus-is-affecting-canadas-labour-market-137749">unemployment among fathers</a> might have increased exposure to family needs, as well. Evidence from the Great Recession of 2007-09 suggests that <a href="http://doi.org/10.1257/aer.103.5.1664">many unemployed men shifted</a> a considerable portion of the hours normally devoted in paid work into housework, child care and other domestic tasks. </p>
<p>Fathers’ participation in housework and child care has remained stable or even slightly improved for the majority of Canadian families in the early stages of the pandemic. At the same time, a minority of families seem poised to regress toward greater inequality in housework and child care. Overall, early trends do not foretell that gender inequality at home will deepen. </p>
<p>Although Canadian mothers are still doing a greater share of the work, many Canadian fathers are stepping up at home in times of crisis. Nevertheless, the rapidly changing scenarios around this pandemic will require scholars and policymakers to consider its effects on gender equality across the coming months and years.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/142236/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kevin Shafer receives funding from the United States Department of Health & Human Services to study fatherhood in the US. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of Brigham Young University or its sponsoring religious institution.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Casey Scheibling receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Melissa Milkie receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. </span></em></p>Canadian fathers increased their share of work at home — in housework and in child care — in the early days of the pandemic as work and routines put pressures on the family.Kevin Shafer, Associate Professor of Sociology and Director of Canadian Studies, Brigham Young UniversityCasey Scheibling, Postdoctoral Fellow, Department of Sociology, McMaster UniversityMelissa Milkie, Professor of Sociology, University of TorontoLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1398012020-06-17T17:01:37Z2020-06-17T17:01:37ZHow Hemingway felt about fatherhood<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342225/original/file-20200616-23227-1wkfsek.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=445%2C226%2C2255%2C1814&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Hemingway and his eldest son, Bumby, pose in Havana harbor in 1933.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Collection of David Meeker</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Ernest Hemingway was affectionately called “Papa,” but what kind of dad was he? </p>
<p>In my role as Associate Editor of the <a href="https://www.hemingwaysociety.org/hemingway-letters-project">Hemingway Letters Project</a>, I spend my time investigating the approximately 6,000 letters sent by Hemingway, 85% of which are now being published for the first time in a multivolume series. <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/us/academic/subjects/literature/literary-texts/letters-ernest-hemingway-19321934-volume-5?format=HB&isbn=9780521897372">The latest volume</a> – the fifth – spans his letters from January 1932 through May 1934 and gives us an intimate look into Hemingway’s daily life, not only as a writer and a sportsman, but also as a father.</p>
<p>During this period, Hemingway explored the emotional depths of fatherhood in his fiction. But his letters show that parenting could be a distraction from what mattered most to him: his writing. </p>
<h2>‘No alibis’ in the writing business</h2>
<p>Hemingway had three sons. His oldest, John – nicknamed “Bumby” – was born to Ernest and his first wife, Hadley, when Ernest was 24 years old. He had Patrick and Gregory with his second wife, Pauline.</p>
<p>Hemingway initially approached fatherhood with some ambivalence. In her 1933 memoir “<a href="http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks06/0608711.txt">The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas</a>,” Gertrude Stein recalls that one evening Hemingway came to visit and “announced…with great bitterness” that he was “too young to be a father.” </p>
<p>As the fifth volume of letters opens in January 1932, Hemingway is trying to finish “<a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Death_in_the_Afternoon.html?id=Wn69QsdwDlQC">Death in the Afternoon</a>,” his nonfiction account of bullfighting, in a household with a six-week-old baby, a three-year-old who ingests ant poison and nearly dies, a wife still recovering from a C-section, along with all the quotidian problems of home ownership, from a leaky roof to faulty wiring.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=428&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=428&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=428&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=538&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=538&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342233/original/file-20200616-23227-ywfum4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=538&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Ernest Hemingway and Pauline Pfeiffer Hemingway, with Gregory, Patrick and Bumby in Key West, 1933.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Princeton University Library</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Hemingway explained to his mother-in-law, Mary Pfeiffer, that if his latest book fell short, he couldn’t simply take readers aside and say, “But you ought to see what a big boy Gregory is…and you ought to see our wonderful water-work system and I go to church every Sunday and am a good father to my family or as good as I can be.” </p>
<p>There are “no alibis” in the writing business, Hemingway continued, and “a man is a fool” to allow anything, even family, to interrupt his work. “Taking refuge in domestic successes,” he added, “is merely a form of quitting.”</p>
<p>For Hemingway, work didn’t simply entail sitting at a desk and writing. It also included the various adventures he was famous for – the <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Hemingway-on-Fishing/Ernest-Hemingway/9781476716411">fishing</a>, <a href="https://www.pbs.org/hemingwayadventure/africa.html">hunting</a>, traveling and socializing with the people he met along the way. Though he would teach the boys to fish and shoot when they were older, when they were very young he didn’t hesitate to leave them with nannies or extended family for long stretches of time.</p>
<p>This separation was <a href="https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/john-hemingway/strange-tribe/">particularly hard</a> on the youngest, Gregory, who, from a very young age, was left for months in the care of Ada Stern, a governess who lived up to her last name. Patrick sometimes joined his parents on their travels or stayed with other relatives. Bumby, the oldest, divided his time between his father and his mother in Paris. The children’s lives were so peripatetic that at the Letters Project we maintain a spreadsheet to keep track of their whereabouts at any given time. </p>
<h2>‘Papa’ explores fathers and sons in his fiction</h2>
<p>However, it would not be accurate to say that Hemingway did not care about his children. In the latest volume of letters, three are addressed to Patrick, two of them decorated with circled dots, a Hemingway family tradition called “toosies,” which represented kisses. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=103&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=103&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=103&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=129&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=129&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342482/original/file-20200617-94044-1rk64fc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=129&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">In his letters to his kids, Hemingway would sometimes draw dots called ‘toosies,’ which represented kisses.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Princeton University Library</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In Hemingway’s fiction, we can see the depth of that paternal feeling, and in his letters, the domestic moments that inspired him.</p>
<p>In November 1932, with his two youngest sons ill with whooping cough and being cared for by their mother at their grandparents’ home in Arkansas, Hemingway postponed a trip to New York to stay in Key West with Bumby. </p>
<p>“He is a good kid and a good companion,” Hemingway wrote his editor, Maxwell Perkins, “but I do not want to drag him around the speakies [bars] too much.” </p>
<p>That same month Hemingway worked on the story of a father and son traveling together that would become “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fathers_and_Sons_(short_story)">Fathers and Sons</a>” in the collection “<a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Winner_Take_Nothing.html?id=Bc8C0Hb9B5YC">Winner Take Nothing</a>.” It’s one of the only stories in which Nick Adams – a semi-autobiographical recurring character – is portrayed as a parent, and the reflective, melancholy piece was written just three years after Hemingway’s own father <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2926355?seq=1">had died by suicide</a>. </p>
<p>In the story, Nick is driving along a stretch of highway in the countryside with “his son asleep on the seat by his side” when he starts thinking about his father.</p>
<p>Nick recalls many details about him: his eyesight, good; his body odor, bad; his advice on hunting, wise; his advice about sex, unsound. He reflects on viewing his father’s face after the undertaker had made “certain dashingly executed repairs of doubtful artistic merit.” </p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=827&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=827&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=827&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1040&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1040&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342235/original/file-20200616-23227-bgrmf5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1040&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Clarence Edmonds Hemingway and Ernest Hemingway in Oak Park, Illinois, circa 1917-1918.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Ernest Hemingway Foundation of Oak Park/Oak Park Public Library, Oak Park, Illinois.</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Nick is surprised when his son starts to speak to him because he “had felt quite alone” even though “this boy had been with him.” As if reading his father’s thoughts, the boy wonders, “What was it like, Papa, when you were a little boy and used to hunt with the Indians?’” </p>
<p>Hemingway’s letters show that another story in the collection, “<a href="http://crmsl.weebly.com/uploads/6/3/1/4/63143381/a_day%E2%80%99s_wait_by_ernest_hemingway.pdf">A Day’s Wait</a>,” was inspired by Bumby’s bout with influenza in the fall of 1932. It is a seemingly lighthearted story about a young boy’s misunderstanding of the differences between the centigrade and Fahrenheit scales of temperature. Like Bumby, the protagonist, “Schatz” – one of Bumby’s other nicknames, a term of endearment in German – attends school in France but is staying with his father when he becomes ill. Schatz had learned at school that no one can survive a temperature of 44 Celsius, so, unbeknownst to his father, he spends the day waiting to die of his fever of 102 Fahrenheit. </p>
<p>But there is more to this story than the twist. “You don’t have to stay in here with me, Papa, if it bothers you,” the boy tells him. “It doesn’t bother me,” his father replies. He unwittingly leaves his son to believe, for an entire day, not only that the boy is going to die, but that his death is of no importance to his father. </p>
<p>In this slight story – one of those stories he told Perkins was written “absolutely as they happen” – we find an unexpected Hemingway hero in the form of a nine-year-old boy who bravely faces death alone.</p>
<p>Though he once wrote that he wanted “Winner Take Nothing” to make “a picture of the whole world,” Hemingway also seemed to understand that no one ever truly knows the subjective experience of another, not even a father and son.</p>
<p>[<em>Insight, in your inbox each day.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=insight">You can get it with The Conversation’s email newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/139801/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Verna Kale works for the Hemingway Letters Project. The Hemingway Letters Project receives funding from the National Endowment for the Humanities.</span></em></p>While the man the world knows as ‘Papa’ balanced the demands of parenting with his work, his letters and fiction offer a window into the depth of his paternal feeling.Verna Kale, Associate Editor, The Letters of Ernest Hemingway and Assistant Research Professor of English, Penn StateLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1397372020-06-16T11:56:14Z2020-06-16T11:56:14ZWhy are sitcom dads still so inept?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/340435/original/file-20200608-176542-16hdtiz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=104%2C1%2C787%2C531&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">From 'Father Knows Best' to 'D'oh!'</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://ccsearch.creativecommons.org/photos/17016597-a65f-4b89-ab02-e96ed82bbe9d">Scott Vandehey/flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">CC BY-NC-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>From Homer Simpson to <a href="https://modernfamily.fandom.com/wiki/Phil_Dunphy">Phil Dunphy</a>, sitcom dads have long been known for being bumbling and inept. </p>
<p>But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the 1950s and 1960s, sitcom dads tended to be serious, calm and wise, if a bit detached. In a shift that media scholars <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15295039009360179">have documented</a>, only in later decades did fathers start to become foolish and incompetent. </p>
<p>And yet the real-world roles and expectations of fathers have changed in recent years. Today’s dads are putting more time into caring for their children and see that role <a href="https://theconversation.com/dads-are-more-involved-in-parenting-yes-but-moms-still-put-in-more-work-72026">as more central to their identity</a>.</p>
<p>Have today’s sitcoms kept up? </p>
<p>I study gender and the media, and I specialize in depictions of masculinity. <a href="https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fppm0000289">In a study I did in 2020</a>, my co-authors and I systematically look at the ways in which portrayals of sitcom fathers have and haven’t changed. </p>
<h2>Why sitcom portrayals matter</h2>
<p>Fictional entertainment can shape our views of ourselves and others. To appeal to broad audiences, sitcoms often rely on the shorthand assumptions <a href="http://resourcelists.falmouth.ac.uk/items/A1C1A85B-4CEA-012B-D5CD-39585556B65C.html">that form the basis of stereotypes</a>. Whether it’s the way they portray <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.1177/1097184X06291918">gay masculinity</a> in “Will and Grace” or <a href="https://www.degruyter.com/view/journals/humr/23/2/article-p229.xml">the working class</a> in “Roseanne,” sitcoms often mine humor from certain norms and expectations associated with gender, sexual identity and class.</p>
<p>When sitcoms stereotype fathers, they seem to suggest that men are somehow inherently ill-suited for parenting. That sells actual fathers short and, in heterosexual, two-parent contexts, it reinforces the idea that mothers should take on the lion’s share of parenting responsibilities. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1268606644209872897"}"></div></p>
<p>It was Tim Allen’s role as Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor of the 1990s series “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101120/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt">Home Improvement</a>” that inspired my initial interest in sitcom dads. Tim was goofy and childish, whereas Jill, his wife, was always ready – with a disapproving scowl, a snappy remark and seemingly endless stores of patience – to bring him back in line. The pattern matched <a href="https://www.today.com/popculture/changing-roles-tv-fathers-1C9406531">an observation</a> made by TV Guide television critic Matt Roush, who, in 2010, wrote, “It used to be that father knew best, and then we started to wonder if he knew anything at all.” </p>
<p>I published <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/s15506878jobem4501_3">my first quantitative study on the depiction of sitcom fathers</a> in 2001, focusing on jokes involving the father. I found that, compared with older sitcoms, dads in more recent sitcoms were the butt of the joke more frequently. Mothers, on the other hand, became less frequent targets of mockery over time. I viewed this as evidence of increasingly feminist portrayals of women that coincided with their growing presence in the workforce.</p>
<h2>Studying the disparaged dad</h2>
<p>In our new study, we wanted to focus on sitcom dads’ interactions with their children, given how fatherhood has changed in American culture. </p>
<p>We used what’s called “<a href="https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=nMA5DQAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=content+analysis&ots=pGUmt8gs8p&sig=yz1P2Yv8FzYddMN4JCMZ1cn5biE#v=onepage&q=content%20analysis&f=false">quantitative content analysis</a>,” a common research method in communication studies. To conduct this sort of analysis, researchers develop definitions of key concepts to apply to a large set of media content. Researchers employ multiple people as coders who observe the content and individually track whether a particular concept appears.</p>
<p>For example, researchers might study the racial and ethnic diversity of recurring characters on Netflix original programs. Or they might try to see whether demonstrations are described as “protests” or “riots” in national news. </p>
<p>For our study, we identified 34 top-rated, family-centered sitcoms that aired from 1980 to 2017 and randomly selected two episodes from each. Next, we isolated 578 scenes in which the fathers were involved in “disparagement humor,” which meant the dads either made fun of another character or were made fun of themselves. </p>
<p>Then we studied how often sitcom dads were shown together with their kids within these scenes in three key parenting interactions: giving advice, setting rules or positively or negatively reinforcing their kids’ behavior. We wanted to see whether the interaction made the father look “humorously foolish” – showing poor judgment, being incompetent or acting childishly.</p>
<p>Interestingly, fathers were shown in fewer parenting situations in more recent sitcoms. And when fathers were parenting, it was depicted as humorously foolish in just over 50% of the relevant scenes in the 2000s and 2010s, compared with 18% in the 1980s and 31% in the 1990s sitcoms.</p>
<p>At least within scenes featuring disparagement humor, sitcom audiences, more often than not, are still being encouraged to laugh at dads’ parenting missteps and mistakes.</p>
<h2>Fueling an inferiority complex?</h2>
<p>The degree to which entertainment media reflect or distort reality is an enduring question in communication and media studies. In order to answer that question, it’s important to take a look at the data.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/">National polls by Pew Research Center</a> show that from 1965 to 2016, the amount of time fathers reported spending on care for their children nearly tripled. These days, dads constitute 17% of all stay-at-home parents, up from 10% in 1989. Today, fathers are just as likely as mothers to say that being a parent is “extremely important to their identity.” They are also just as likely to describe parenting as rewarding. </p>
<p>Yet, there is evidence in the Pew data that these changes present challenges, as well. The majority of dads feel they do not spend enough time with their children, often citing work responsibilities as the primary reason. Only 39% of fathers feel they are doing “a very good job” raising their children.</p>
<p>Perhaps this sort of self-criticism is being reinforced by foolish and failing father portrayals in sitcom content.</p>
<p>Of course, not all sitcoms depict fathers as incompetent parents. The sample we examined stalled out in 2017, whereas TV Guide presented “<a href="https://www.tvguide.com/news/features/sitcom-dads-manhood/">7 Sitcom Dads Changing How we Think about Fatherhood Now</a>” in 2019. In our study, the moments of problematic parenting often took place in a wider context of a generally quite loving depiction. </p>
<p>Still, while television portrayals will likely never match the range and complexity of fatherhood, sitcom writers can do better by dads by moving on from the increasingly outdated foolish father trope.</p>
<p>[<em>Deep knowledge, daily.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=deepknowledge">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter</a>.]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/139737/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Erica Scharrer does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Dads are taking parenting much more seriously. But according to a study of sitcoms, the stereotype of the foolish father remains stubbornly in place.Erica Scharrer, Professor of Communication, UMass AmherstLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1375792020-05-06T12:38:09Z2020-05-06T12:38:09ZWhy do kids call their parents ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332875/original/file-20200505-83740-10dtdeh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=529%2C168%2C4592%2C3240&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Every known culture on Earth has special words for kids to call their parents.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/happy-family-in-garden-royalty-free-image/186479136">XiXinXing via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=293&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=293&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=293&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/281719/original/file-20190628-76743-26slbc.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=368&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/curious-kids-us-74795">Curious Kids</a> is a series for children of all ages. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, send it to <a href="mailto:curiouskidsus@theconversation.com">curiouskidsus@theconversation.com</a>.</em></p>
<hr>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Why do most kids call their parents “Mom” and “Dad”? – Henry E., age 9, Somerville, Massachusetts</strong></p>
</blockquote>
<hr>
<p>Once, a long time ago, one of us, Bethany, fell behind at the grocery store and was trying to catch up. She called out her mom’s name, “Mom!,” and to her frustration, half the women there turned around and the other half ignored Bethany, assuming it was someone else’s child.</p>
<p>How was Bethany going to get her mom’s attention? She knew a secret trick that would work for sure: Her mom had another name. She called “Denise!” and magically, just her mom (the other one of us) turned around. </p>
<p>But why do almost all kids use the same name for their parents? This is the kind of question <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=f2RwlNoAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">we enjoy investigating as</a> <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=20slzkIAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&authuser=1&sortby=pubdate">scientists who study</a> families and human development.</p>
<h2>The sounds heard ‘round the world</h2>
<p>All around the world, the words for “mom,” “dad,” “grandma” and “grandpa” are almost the same. <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/298380/the-meaning-of-tingo-by-adam-jacot-de-boinod/9781101201299">Other words</a> aren’t nearly as similar.</p>
<p>Take “dog,” for example. In French, “dog” is “chien”; in Dutch, it is “hond”; and in Hungarian, it is “kutya.” But if you needed to get your mother’s attention in France, the Netherlands or Hungary, you’d call “Maman,” “Mama” or “Mamma.”</p>
<p><iframe id="IcbXT" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/IcbXT/3/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>You can say “Mom” in any country in the world and people would pretty much know who you meant. And did you notice that “Dad” is also similar across languages – “Papa,” “Baba,” “Tad” and “Dad”?</p>
<p>Scientists have noticed the same thing. George Peter Murdock was an anthropologist, which is a scientist who studies people and cultures. Pete, as his friends called him, traveled the globe back in the 1940s and collected information about families from all over. He discovered 1,072 similar words for “mom” and “dad.”</p>
<p>Pete handed this data over to linguists, the scientists who study language, and challenged them to figure out why these words sound the same. Roman Jakobson, a famous linguist and literary theorist, then <a href="https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110820041-021">wrote an entire chapter on “mama” and “papa.”</a></p>
<p>The first sounds infants make are those that are made with the lips and are easily seen: <a href="https://www.asha.org/uploadedFiles/ASHA/Practice_Portal/Clinical_Topics/Late_Language_Emergence/Consonant-Acquisition-Chart.pdf">m, b and p</a>. These sounds are quickly followed by other sounds that can be easily seen: <a href="https://www.asha.org/uploadedFiles/ASHA/Practice_Portal/Clinical_Topics/Late_Language_Emergence/Consonant-Acquisition-Chart.pdf">t and d</a>. It’s possible that as infants practice making these easy sounds (mamamamama) or produce these sounds while nursing or drinking from a bottle, the mother hears “mama.” She then smiles with joy and says, “Mama! You said Mama!”</p>
<p>Of course, the baby is happy to see the mother happy, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01918">so the baby says it again</a>. Bingo, “Mama” is born. Similarly, the baby may practice “dadadadada” or “papapapa” and the parents’ reactions result in the baby repeating “dada” or “papa.”</p>
<p>These words refer to the two most important people in most babies’ lives, followed closely by similar words for grandparents – nana, tata, bobcia, nonno, opa, omo – who often play important roles, as well. </p>
<h2>Reinforcing everyone’s roles</h2>
<p>But there’s more to this story. Once children can say many sounds, why don’t they call their parents Ella, Zoheb, Dipankar or Denise? </p>
<p>It’s because we all have rules that most of us follow. These are <a href="https://doi.org/10.9707/2307-0919.1061">rules related to our cultures, our societies and even our families</a>. We have rules for how to greet people (shake hands, hug), how to use forks or chopsticks, what to call our teacher (“Mrs. Bell”) and even where to sit at the dinner table.</p>
<p>We don’t think of these things as “rules”; they’re just there. One of these kinds of rules in most families around the world is that parents are the heads of the household and children are supposed to listen to them. By calling parents “Mom” or “Dad,” it helps everyone stick to their roles.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/332877/original/file-20200505-83745-80okg4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Families figure out the versions that work best for them.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/two-fathers-laughing-on-a-couch-with-their-daughter-royalty-free-image/1189458051">Jules Ingall/Moment via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>Some parents feel that if you call them by their first name, you don’t think they are the boss anymore (and parents generally don’t like that). But every family is different, which is part of what makes life so interesting. Some families have their own rules that might differ from your family’s rules.</p>
<p>Most kids call their mom “Mom,” but <a href="https://coparenter.com/blog/special-alternatives-to-mom-and-dad/">some kids don’t and that’s OK</a>. For example, for our family rules, our kids may occasionally call us “Denise” and “Mom Bethany.”</p>
<p>The next time you call out “Mom!” in the store, whether in New York, Paris, Hong Kong or Durban, watch how many mothers turn around. It’s all because of a mixture of biology (easy sounds to see and make), environment (parents being happy you said this and smiling) and culture (rules).</p>
<p>If you have children when you grow up, what do you want them to call you?</p>
<hr>
<p><em>Hello, curious kids! Do you have a question you’d like an expert to answer? Ask an adult to send your question to <a href="mailto:curiouskidsus@theconversation.com">CuriousKidsUS@theconversation.com</a>. Please tell us your name, age and the city where you live.</em></p>
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>One anthropologist found 1,072 similar words for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ in the world’s languages. It turns out a mix of biology, culture and encouragement from parents explains this phenomenon.Bethany Bustamante Van Vleet, Senior Lecturer in Family and Human Development, Arizona State UniversityDenise Bodman, Principal Lecturer in Social and Family Dynamics, Arizona State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1192412019-09-04T19:52:19Z2019-09-04T19:52:19ZKids learn valuable life skills through rough-and-tumble play with their dads<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/290841/original/file-20190904-175682-9s8rj9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=432%2C0%2C3521%2C2323&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Dads tend to engage in more active, physical play activities with their young children.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock/pyrozhenka</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Play is an important way for children to <a href="https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-alerts/news/why-is-play-important-health-development-children-babies">learn about the world</a> around them.</p>
<p>Through <a href="https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/182" title="The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds">play</a>, they learn cultural norms, socialisation guidelines and experiment with different ways to interact with their environment.</p>
<p>But play between a father and their child or children can offer a different type of play. It’s often boisterous, physical and competitive, and this all has an equally important role to play in a child’s development.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/let-them-play-kids-need-freedom-from-play-restrictions-to-develop-117586">Let them play! Kids need freedom from play restrictions to develop</a>
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<h2>The rough-and-tumble play</h2>
<p>Dads tend to engage in more active, physical play activities with their young children – rough-and-tumble play.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">A bit of rough-and-tumble play, looks like fun for dad and the kids!</span></figcaption>
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<p>Dads often engage in activities such as play wrestling and throwing their child into the air.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Up in the air!</span></figcaption>
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<p>This type of play is full of excitement and challenge, and if it weren’t for the clear enjoyment of both parties, it might sometimes seem a little aggressive to an outsider.</p>
<p>But this play isn’t just fun. Research has shown it’s also important for healthy child development.</p>
<p>Of course, rough-and-tumble play doesn’t have to be exclusive to dads. Mums can also engage in such play with their kids and, although that’s not been the subject of research to date, there’s no reason the results can’t be just the same.</p>
<h2>Rough-and-tumble play improves social skills</h2>
<p>In one <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/03004430.2012.723439" title="Rough and tumble play quality: theoretical foundations for a new measure of father–child interaction">study</a> we looked at the quality of father-child rough-and-tumble play, and children’s emotional and behavioural problems.</p>
<p>High-quality rough-and-tumble play was defined as being warm and sensitive, dominance-sharing and playful in nature.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Smashing dad!</span></figcaption>
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<p>We found high-quality play was related to higher levels of what’s termed <a href="http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/prosocial-behaviour">prosocial behaviour</a>. Prosocial behaviour includes things like being considerate of other people’s feelings and sharing well with others.</p>
<p>In other words, high-quality rough-and-tumble play is linked to nice children who are probably going to have an easier time making friends with their peers.</p>
<h2>Rough-and-tumble play improves emotion regulation</h2>
<p>Play that’s active, physical and competitive has also been <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/imhj.21676" title="Measurement of father–child rough‐and‐tumble play and its relations to child behavior">linked</a> to better emotion regulation.</p>
<p>Dads have a tendency to push their kids to the limit, to set goals that are just a bit beyond their reach, and to rough-and-tumble play in a way that gets the kids worked up. </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Cushion fight!</span></figcaption>
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<p>Good rough-and-tumble play is play where the kids don’t just get worked up and potentially frustrated, but where the child learns how to handle these emotions – how to regulate them.</p>
<p>This is important as better emotion regulation allows children to understand and manage their own behaviour and reactions.</p>
<h2>Rough-and-tumble play reduces injury risk</h2>
<p>Now this one might seem a bit counter-intuitive.</p>
<p>In one of the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/03004430.2014.1000888" title="Father–child interactions and children's risk of injury">studies</a> we conducted, we looked at the relationship between father-child rough-and-tumble play and childhood injury rates in 46 families.</p>
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<p>What we found was the more dads engaged in rough-and-tumble play with their kids, the fewer injuries those kids sustained.</p>
<p>We think the rough-and-tumble play is teaching kids about their limits – how far they can physically push themselves. </p>
<h2>Winners and losers</h2>
<p>One of the important lessons from any rough-and-tumble play, though, is about the balance between winning and losing. It’s important parents don’t dominate. </p>
<p>One of my favourite rough-and-tumble games is the sock wrestle. Each player puts on just one sock. The aim of the game is to get your opponent’s sock off their foot. Give it a try. It’s simple, but a lot of fun! </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Give me that sock!</span></figcaption>
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<p>When you’re playing this with your kid (or kids if you want an extra challenge!), make sure you share the winning and losing.</p>
<p>It’s important for your child to both win and lose, as without the losing and the frustration that comes with that, you’re not helping to teach them how to regulate their emotions.</p>
<p>So it seems as though the rough-and-tumble play with kids isn’t just enjoyable, it’s also an important part of a child’s development.</p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/let-them-play-kids-need-freedom-from-play-restrictions-to-develop-117586">Let them play! Kids need freedom from play restrictions to develop</a>
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<p>It’s teaching children how to regulate their emotions, how to safely push and extend their limits, how to assess risky situations, and how to get along well with others. </p>
<p>Not only that, but physical activity has multiple health benefits too. Rough-and-tumble play is the sort of thing we should be encouraging parents to do regularly.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/119241/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emily Freeman does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>When dads engage in active play with their kids they actually help them cope better with some of the challenges they’ll face in life. And no reason why mums can’t join in the fun as well.Emily Freeman, Lecturer in Psychology, University of NewcastleLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1200562019-07-17T10:48:51Z2019-07-17T10:48:51ZNew paternity leave proposals to exclude high earners could be a step backwards for gender equality<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/284080/original/file-20190715-173351-vz1026.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Pexels</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>A father’s role may have shifted massively in recent decades – from being seen as the main <a href="https://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780195313895.001.0001/acprof-9780195313895-chapter-6">breadwinner or money earner</a> in a household, to being a more active participant in family life. Yet, less than one in three new fathers in the UK currently <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/paternity-leave-new-fathers-less-third-not-taking-a8992086.html">take paternity leave</a>. </p>
<p>This is despite the fact that dads today <a href="https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/UK_MFI_2018_Long_Report_A4_UK.pdf">want to take a more active role</a> in family life. Indeed, many dads say they would consider <a href="https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/UK_MFI_2018_Long_Report_A4_UK.pdf">childcare as a key point when taking up a new job</a>. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.oecd.org/officialdocuments/publicdisplaydocumentpdf/?cote=DELSA/ELSA/WD/SEM(2012)11&docLanguage=En">Research</a> clearly demonstrates the benefits of new dads taking <a href="https://www.gov.uk/paternity-pay-leave">parental leave</a>, including <a href="http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Cash-and-carry-Full-Report-PDF.pdf">positive impacts</a> on the cognitive outcomes for children and improvements in the quality of a couple’s relationship. So why the disconnect?</p>
<p>One of the big reasons uptake of paternity leave has been so low is <a href="https://www.thegazette.co.uk/all-notices/content/101755">because of the pay</a>. Under the current system, dads get two weeks paternity leave paid at a statutory rate which is just shy of £150 a week. Some employers enhance this pay but it’s not mandatory. And many dads do not take advantage of this leave because of the financial implications on household budgets. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284081/original/file-20190715-173329-1dah772.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Policies should be geared towards encouraging dads’ involvement in childcare.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
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<p>Families can also choose for both parents to share leave. Shared parental leave, which was introduced in 2015, allows dads to take more than two weeks and parents can share up to 50 weeks of leave (37 weeks of which is paid) if they meet certain eligibility criteria. But again, uptake has been minimal – thought to be a low as 2%. And one of the key reasons for this is the <a href="http://researchprofiles.herts.ac.uk/portal/files/14846678/SPL_Report.pdf">financial implications</a> as it can leave many families out of pocket.</p>
<p>Indeed, analysis indicates that <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/work-salary/news/not-so-shared-parenting-families-lose-10000-stay-at-home-dad/">parental leave arrangements skew families’ finances</a> in favour of new dads returning to work – even when both parents earn the same. And research shows that there would’ve been a better uptake of <a href="https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/shared-parental-leave-videos/">paternity leave and shared parental leave</a> if new dads were paid properly.</p>
<p><a href="http://researchprofiles.herts.ac.uk/portal/en/projects/challenges-to-shared-parental-leave(58b9f645-1317-47d0-b06f-3f04bb3b26e6).html">My research</a> also suggests some employers have failed to embrace and <a href="https://theconversation.com/no-wonder-dads-arent-taking-shared-parental-leave-most-employers-have-failed-to-embrace-it-104290">normalise shared parental leave</a> in the workplace, meaning that new fathers are less likely to consider taking it.</p>
<h2>Entrenching inequalities</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/theresa-may-wants-new-fathers-to-get-12-weeks-paid-paternity-leave-6gstvc7mb">Theresa May’s recent proposal</a> to give men four weeks of paternity leave paid at 90% of their monthly salary and a further eight weeks to be paid at the statutory rate of £148.68 might sound like a step in the right direction.</p>
<p>But while the proposed paternity leave would be greatly welcomed by many new fathers, under the proposals high earning dads – those on more than £100,000 a year – wouldn’t be <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/theresa-may-urged-to-bar-high-earners-from-extended-paternity-leave-bh7ffrs9k">able to access the longer leave</a> time. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/284082/original/file-20190715-173342-qu0eoi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">The new proposals suggest that money could take the place of a dad in a child’s life.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Pexels</span></span>
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<p>This is concerning and has the potential to take the progress on gender equality several steps back if high earning dads are to be excluded from benefiting from paid parental leave. This is because the proposal overlooks the fact that high earners are disproportionately men and barring them would entrench the inequalities that investments in childcare are supposed to resolve. </p>
<p>Indeed, last year, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/money/2018/mar/20/mps-call-for-12-weeks-of-paternity-leave-to-address-gender-pay-gap">MPs called for 12 weeks paternity leave</a> as a solution to address the gender pay gap problem – acknowledging that gender equality and the gender pay gap problem can only be resolved if dad’s involvement in <a href="https://www.marketingweek.com/parental-leave-not-womens-only-issue/">family life is improved</a>. </p>
<h2>Redefining gender stereotypes</h2>
<p>So although the proposed paternity leave would be better paid in the first four weeks and has the potential to ameliorate some of the problems of shared parental leave – such as dads not qualifying for shared parental leave because they have not worked for their <a href="https://www.workingdads.co.uk/tuc-demands-fundamental-overhaul-shared-parental-leave/">employer for long enough</a> – in the long-term, such changes could actually do more harm than good. </p>
<p>The paternity leave proposal could also mean that shared parental leave would be replaced by the new system. All of which would promote the unacceptable position of dads being breadwinners and mothers caregivers – a position 21st-century dads (and mums) are working hard to change.</p>
<p>It is vital, then, that these proposals are reconsidered and that paternity leave is made available to all working dads irrespective of their earnings. This is important as <a href="http://fathers.com/s5-your-situation/c17-at-home-dad/dads-childcare-and-changing-the-stereotypes/">gender stereotypes and societal perceptions</a> of dads who take on a caring role will only change if everyone has a stake in childcare.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/120056/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ernestine Gheyoh Ndzi does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Excluding high earning dads from paid parental leave is not the answer.Ernestine Gheyoh Ndzi, Senior Lecturer and Cohort Tutor, Hertfordshire Law School, University of HertfordshireLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.