tag:theconversation.com,2011:/es/topics/sadness-2894/articlesSadness – The Conversation2024-02-08T13:40:39Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2176542024-02-08T13:40:39Z2024-02-08T13:40:39ZAnger, sadness, boredom, anxiety – emotions that feel bad can be useful<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573800/original/file-20240206-18-uxu2ut.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=199%2C0%2C5697%2C3550&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A bad feeling can trigger behavior that leads to something better.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/diverse-people-holding-emoticon-royalty-free-image/935941772">Rawpixel/iStock via Getty Images Plus</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Remember the sadness that came with the last time you failed miserably at something? Or the last time you were so anxious about an upcoming event that you couldn’t concentrate for days?</p>
<p>These types of emotions are unpleasant to experience and can even feel overwhelming. People often try to avoid them, suppress them or ignore them. In fact, in psychology experiments, people will <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-012-9394-7">pay money to not feel many negative emotions</a>. But recent research is revealing that emotions can be useful, and even negative emotions can bring benefits.</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=fzHtrJIAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">In my</a> <a href="https://emotionsciencelab.com">emotion science lab</a> at Texas A&M University, we study how emotions like anger and boredom affect people, and we explore ways that these feelings can be beneficial. We share the results so people can learn how to use their emotions to build the lives they want.</p>
<p>Our studies and many others have shown that emotions aren’t uniformly good or bad for people. Instead, different emotions can result in better outcomes in particular types of situations. Emotions seem to function like a Swiss army knife – different emotional tools are helpful in specific situations.</p>
<h2>Sadness can help you recover from a failure</h2>
<p>Sadness occurs when people perceive that they’ve lost a goal or a desired outcome, and there’s nothing they can do to improve the situation. It could be getting creamed in a game or failing a class or work project, or it can be losing a relationship with a family member. Once evoked, sadness is associated with what psychologists call a deactivation state of doing little, without much behavior or <a href="https://dictionary.apa.org/arousal">physical arousal</a>. Sadness also brings <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/ap.12232">thinking that is more detailed and analytical</a>. It makes you stop <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721412474458">and think</a>.</p>
<p>The benefit of the stopping and thinking that comes with sadness is that it <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-77619-4_4">helps people recover from failure</a>. When you fail, that typically means the situation you’re in is not conducive to success. Instead of just charging ahead in this type of scenario, sadness prompts people to step back and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0016242">evaluate what is happening</a>.</p>
<p>When people are sad, they process information in a deliberative, analytical way and want to avoid risk. This mode comes with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.2.318">more accurate memory</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02699939108411048">judgment that is less influenced</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2004.11.005">by irrelevant assumptions or information</a>, and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.04.010">better detection of other people lying</a>. These cognitive changes can encourage people to understand past failures and possibly prevent future ones.</p>
<p>Sadness can function differently when there’s the possibility that the failure could be avoided if other people help. In these situations, people tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-8986.1994.tb01049.x">cry and can experience</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10286-018-0526-y">increased physiological arousal</a>, such as quicker heart and breathing rates. Expressing sadness, through tears or verbally, has the benefit of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/147470491301100114">potentially recruiting other people to help you</a> achieve your goals. This behavior appears to start in infants, with <a href="https://doi.org/10.2307/1127506">tears and cries signaling caregivers to help</a>.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A woman yells into a phone with her hair blowing up and back" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=470&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=470&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=470&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=590&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=590&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573801/original/file-20240206-18-9r5azc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=590&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Anger can prepare you to blast through any roadblocks holding you back.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/woman-is-shouting-into-phone-royalty-free-image/108876267">Betsie Van der Meer/Stone via Getty Images</a></span>
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<h2>Anger prepares you to overcome an obstacle</h2>
<p>Anger occurs when people perceive they’re losing a goal or desired outcome, but that they could improve the situation by removing something that’s in their way. The obstacle could be an injustice committed by another person, or it could be a computer that repeatedly crashes while you’re trying to get work done. Once evoked, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024244">anger is associated with a “readiness for action,”</a> and your <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(02)00313-6">thinking focuses on the obstacle</a>.</p>
<p>The benefit of being prepared for action and focused on what’s in your way is that it motivates you to overcome what’s standing between you and your goal. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073913512003">When people are angry</a>, they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2420240104">process information and make judgments rapidly</a>, want to take action, and are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2010.03.010">physiologically aroused</a>. In experiments, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2010.04.017">anger actually increases the force of people’s kicks</a>, which can be helpful in physical encounters. Anger results in better outcomes in situations that involve challenges to goals, including confrontational games, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000350">tricky puzzles</a>, video games with obstacles, and responding quickly on tasks.</p>
<p>Expressing anger, facially or verbally, has the benefit of <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000292">prompting other people to clear the way</a>. People are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.86.1.57">more likely to concede in negotiations</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2012.12.015">give in on issues</a> when their adversary looks or says they are angry.</p>
<h2>Anxiety helps you prepare for danger</h2>
<p>Anxiety occurs when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/070674371105601202">perceive a potential threat</a>. This could be giving a speech to a large audience where failure would put your self-esteem on the line, or it could be a physical threat to yourself or loved ones. Once evoked, anxiety is associated with being prepared to respond to danger, including increased physical arousal and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01701.x">attention to threats and risk</a>.</p>
<p>Being prepared for danger means that if trouble brews, you can respond quickly to prevent or avoid it. When anxious, people detect threats rapidly, have fast reaction times and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01701.x">are on heightened alert</a>. The eye-widening that often comes with fear and anxiety even <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.2138">gives people a wider field of vision</a> and improves threat detection.</p>
<p>Anxiety prepares the body for action, which improves performance on a number of tasks that involve motivation and attention. It motivates people to prepare for upcoming events, such as devoting time to study for an exam. Anxiety also prompts protective behavior, which can help prevent the potential threat from becoming a reality.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A bored man at desk leans his head in his hand while looking at a computer." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573803/original/file-20240206-32-tb0hax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Boredom may be trying to tell you that your current situation needs a shakeup.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/shot-of-a-young-businessman-looking-bored-while-royalty-free-image/1348347595">Jay Yuno/E+ via Getty Images</a></span>
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<h2>Boredom can jolt you out of a rut</h2>
<p>There is less research on boredom than many other emotions, so it is not as well understood. Researchers debate <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2023.02.002">what it is</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/bs3030459">what it does</a>.</p>
<p>Boredom appears to occur when someone’s current situation is <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/bs3030459">not causing any other emotional response</a>. There are three situations <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-011-9234-9">where this lack can occur</a>: when emotions fade, such as the happiness of a new car fading to neutral; when people don’t care about anything in their current situation, such as being at a large party where nothing interesting is happening; or when people have no goals. Boredom does not necessarily set in just because nothing is happening – someone with a goal of relaxation might feel quite content sitting quietly with no stimulation.</p>
<p>Psychology researchers think that the benefit of boredom in situations where people are not responding emotionally is that it <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/emo0000433">prompts making a change</a>. If nothing in your current situation is worth responding to, the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jocb.154">aversive experience of boredom can motivate you</a> to seek new situations or change the way you’re thinking. Boredom has been related to more risk seeking, a desire for novelty, and creative thinking. It seems to function like an emotional stick, nudging people out of their current situation to explore and create.</p>
<h2>Using the toolkit of emotion</h2>
<p>People want to be happy. But research is finding that a satisfying and productive life includes a <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000292">mix of positive and negative emotions</a>. Negative emotions, even though they feel bad to experience, can motivate and prepare people for failure, challenges, threats and exploration.</p>
<p>Pleasant or not, your emotions can help guide you toward better outcomes. Maybe understanding how they prepare you to handle various situations will help you feel better about feeling bad.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217654/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Heather Lench does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Lots of people will do a lot to avoid feeling negative emotions. But researchers are figuring out how these unpleasant feelings actually have benefits.Heather Lench, Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences, Texas A&M UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2002312023-03-01T13:27:05Z2023-03-01T13:27:05ZWhen does clinical depression become an emergency? 4 questions answered<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/511817/original/file-20230222-20-evglvk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=38%2C0%2C4239%2C2773&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Sen. John Fetterman has been widely praised for going public about his need for treatment for depression.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sen-john-fetterman-walks-through-the-statuary-hall-of-the-u-news-photo/1463984574?phrase=John%20Fetterman&adppopup=true">Alex Wong via Getty Images News</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>The news that Sen. John Fetterman, a Pennsylvania Democrat, checked himself into Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on Feb. 15, 2023, to be treated for clinical depression <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2023/feb/21/john-fetterman-depression-mental-illness-stigma">sparked a national discussion</a> around the need for <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/17/us/politics/fetterman-mental-illness-stigma.html">openness about mental health struggles</a>. This comes after Fetterman <a href="https://theconversation.com/fettermans-struggles-with-language-highlight-the-challenges-after-a-stroke-a-vascular-neurologist-explains-aphasia-and-the-path-to-recovery-192482">suffered a near-fatal stroke</a> in May 2022, <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/20/health/john-fetterman-depression-hospitalization/index.html">prompting questions about possible links</a> between post-stroke recovery and mental health.</em></p>
<p><em>The Conversation asked John B. Williamson, an <a href="https://chp.phhp.ufl.edu/about-2/people/core-faculty/john-b-williamson-ph-d/">associate professor of psychiatry and neuroscience</a> at the University of Florida, to explain when depression becomes a crisis and what inpatient treatment entails.</em></p>
<h2>What is clinical depression?</h2>
<p>Clinical depression, or major depressive disorder, occurs in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2017.4602">20% of the population over the lifetime</a>. It can surface and differ from person to person in a variety of ways.</p>
<p>Clinical depression symptoms include feelings of sadness and loss of interest and motivation to engage in once pleasurable activities such as hobbies. Other symptoms include changes in appetite – either increased or decreased – changes in sleep patterns, be it too much or too little, loss of energy, restlessness and difficulty thinking and concentrating. To qualify as clinical depression, these symptoms must persist for at least two weeks. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2017.4602">One form of the condition</a> can also occur in the context of stressful situations, such as the death of a loved one, divorce or loss of a job. Depressive symptoms can also occur <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2017.06.009">alongside and because of other disorders </a> and medical conditions like stroke and thyroid disease, and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15030363">these conditions may complicate recovery</a>. </p>
<p>Severe depression can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12991-020-00302-6">mimic other conditions, including dementia</a>, in which an impairment in thinking is significant enough to interfere with a person’s ability to live independently. It can also worsen the quality of life in older age. Depression has also been linked with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001%2Fjamanetworkopen.2019.21043">higher rates of death from any cause</a>, such as cardiovascular disease. </p>
<p>Untreated depression can negatively affect overall health and quality of life. </p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">Depression is not a choice, and it doesn’t mean you’re fragile. What’s more, depression is treatable.</span></figcaption>
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<h2>When does depression become an emergency?</h2>
<p>An acute change in mood that persists for weeks or is associated with thoughts of self-harm <a href="https://theactionalliance.org/">should not be ignored</a>. In some cases, it may constitute an emergency.</p>
<p>Depressed mood, whether from a major depressive episode, or in the context of another problem, can become an emergency when there are thoughts of suicide. Suicidal thoughts may be passive, such as preferring not to be alive, or active, meaning an explicit desire to harm oneself. Broadly, this means having ideas about ending one’s life. </p>
<p>It is important to understand the signs and risks for suicide to help prevent it, both for yourself and others. Feelings of hopelessness, agitation and lack of reasons to live are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/factors/index.html">vulnerabilities for suicide</a>. This vulnerability increases with poor sleep and higher risk-taking behavior, including substance abuse. Additional noticeable signs may be withdrawing from friends and family and increased preoccupation with death. </p>
<p>If a person expresses suicidal thoughts or a desire to harm or kill themselves, immediate attention is needed. Help is available through the <a href="https://988lifeline.org/">988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline</a> and any emergency room.</p>
<h2>What is inpatient care for depression?</h2>
<p>Inpatient mental health care is useful when a more controlled environment is needed. This environment is important for patients at increased risk for suicide and can also be a useful tool for treating substance abuse, hallucinations and paranoia or mania in the <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955">context of bipolar disorder</a>. </p>
<p>An inpatient care unit is meant to be a calm environment with 24/7 monitored care. Services include evaluation by professionals and may involve medication management when necessary. Inpatient care settings will usually offer individual and group psychotherapy options, <a href="https://www.arts.gov/initiatives/creative-forces">as well as art therapy</a> and other expressive therapies such as writing. And they may include education on the management of mental health. </p>
<p>The primary goal is stabilizing the patient, helping them to develop coping skills and connecting the patient with services to prevent future need for inpatient care. </p>
<p>The average stay in an inpatient unit <a href="https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.201100412">is about 10 days</a>. It is possible to enter inpatient care voluntarily. Others are admitted by a physician or other authorized individual, which in most cases would be a parent, spouse or adult child. Admission sometimes occurs by way of an emergency room visit or through communication with a health care professional. For instance, sometimes a therapist or physician may facilitate inpatient admission. </p>
<h2>Is treatment for depression effective?</h2>
<p>The good news is that depression responds well to treatment. In cases in which thoughts of suicide with imminent risk of harm are not present, depression can be managed with psychotherapy, medication or a combination of both. There is a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2020.0164">great deal of evidence</a> for the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(17)32802-7">effectiveness of these approaches</a>.</p>
<p>Clinical depression may go into remission with psychotherapy or the use of medication. Unfortunately, about half of people who experience clinical depression experience chronic or recurring symptoms. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0706743716659416">Longer-term treatment and self-care</a> including psychotherapy and medication may be necessary. </p>
<p>There are additional treatment considerations when active thoughts of suicide are involved. It is important to discuss these feelings with a medical professional. Primary care physicians commonly <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2011/08/06/138987152/antidepressant-use-climbs-as-primary-care-doctors-do-the-prescribing">treat depression via medication</a>; <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db377.htm#">slightly more than 13% of Americans take them</a>.
However, it may be beneficial to seek out treatment from mental health care specialists such as psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurses and other licensed mental health care professionals. </p>
<p>A conversation with either a primary care or a mental health care professional is a viable route to getting started with assessment and treatment. People who get treatment for suicidal thoughts are <a href="https://theactionalliance.org/">much less likely to kill themselves</a>. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.usa.gov/federal-agencies/substance-abuse-and-mental-health-services-administration">Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration</a> operates a national helpline to assist in facilitating appropriate <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline">treatment referrals for patients (1-800-662-HELP)</a>.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/200231/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>John B. Williamson receives funding from the Department of Veterans Affairs, Department of Defense, National Endowment of the Arts, the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation, McKnight Brain Research Foundation, and the National Institutes of Health</span></em></p>Sen. John Fetterman’s admission to a hospital for mental health treatment has set off an important national discussion about the need to reduce stigmas around mental illness.John B. Williamson, Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, University of FloridaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1972992023-01-25T13:08:06Z2023-01-25T13:08:06ZDeath and dying: how different cultures deal with grief and mourning<p>Grief is a universal emotion. It’s something we all feel, no matter where we come from or what we’ve been through. Grief comes for us all and as humans who form close relationships with other people, it’s hard to avoid. </p>
<p>Studies of <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-grieving-brain-mary-frances-oconnor/1140045432?ean=9780062946232">grieving brains</a> – be it scans of the brain regions which process grief, or measures of the stress hormone cortisol that is released in grief – show no differences in relation to race, age or religion. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02682629808657425">People of all cultures grieve</a>; we all feel sorrow, loss, and despair. We just do it – and show it – in different ways. </p>
<p><a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1969-06883-001">James Averill</a>, a US professor of psychology, has compared this to sexual feelings which, like grief, are biologically driven but expressed in elaborately different social contexts. </p>
<p>Here are several examples that demonstrate how grief and mourning can look very different depending on where you live and come from. </p>
<h2>1. Collective grief is common</h2>
<p>When it comes to grieving in the west, the focus is often placed on the individual. People talk about their personal grief, and counselling is usually arranged for just one person – even support groups are attended by individual members. But the reality is that the family – or for many Indigenous people, the tribe – grieves collectively, and in some cultures this is more pronounced than others.</p>
<p>In <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315721088-4/death-hindu-family-pittu-laungani-ann-laungani">Hindu families</a> in India, for example, relatives and friends come together to support the immediate family in an elaborate 13-day ritual. A widow ceases to be the head of the household and her place is taken by the wife of her oldest son. </p>
<p>Typical of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1473325020973301">Native American culture</a>, the Lakota tribe elders use the phrase “mitakuye oyasin”, meaning “we are all related”. The death of anyone in the tribe is felt by all. </p>
<p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/009164711604400203">In Tibet</a>, the Buddhist mourning period following a funeral lasts 49 days. During this time the family gathers to make clay figures and prayer flags, allowing for a collective expression of grief.</p>
<p>Collective grief is also the norm in traditional Chinese culture, but here the family also makes collective decisions – which sometimes <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1303047/">exclude the dying person</a>. This was seen in the 2019 film <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8637428/">The Farewell</a>, which was based on director and writer Lulu Wong’s real life. In the film, a Chinese family discovers their grandmother has only a short time left to live and decides to keep her in the dark, scheduling a wedding in order to gather before she dies.</p>
<h2>2. Grieving times vary by culture</h2>
<p>After a bereavement, a steady return to normal functioning can typically take <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=AEiRDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT7&dq=The+other+side+of+sadness+Bonanno&ots=TxwGl9PMCE&sig=BvhnYX4GRHnjFBtv0KyJlGSqMpk#v=onepage&q=The%20other%20side%20of%20sadness%20Bonanno&f=false">two or more years</a>. Experts no longer talk of “moving on”, but instead see grief as a way of adapting to loss while forming a <a href="https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/Continuing_Bonds/u4COAwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Continuing+Bonds&printsec=frontcover">continuing bond</a> with the lost loved one. But again, this varies from culture to culture.</p>
<p>In <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=QkH8Xzf9geUC&oi=fnd&pg=PP9&dq=managing+turbulent+hearts+Wikan&ots=aaZEUZ9kkz&sig=23rFm_4c7S3icaZngKYe6mOBLP8#v=onepage&q=managing%20turbulent%20hearts%20Wikan&f=false">Bali</a>, Indonesia, mourning is brief and tearfulness is discouraged.
If family members do cry, tears must not fall on the body as this is thought to give the person a bad place in heaven. To cry for too long is thought to invoke malevolent spirits and encumber the dead person’s soul with unhappiness. </p>
<p>In <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0277953688903681">Egypt</a>, tearfully grieving after seven years would still be seen as healthy and normal – whereas in the US this would be <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1303047/">considered a disorder</a>. Indeed, in the west, intense grief exceeding 12 months is labelled “<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/00048674211025728">prolonged grief disorder</a>”. </p>
<h2>3. People like to visit the body</h2>
<p>The way people interact with the dead body also differs culturally. For example, between the death and the funeral, the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2405844022002134#bib67">Toraja people</a> on the island of Sulawesi, Indonesia, treat their relative as if they were ill rather than dead, by bringing them food and keeping them company.</p>
<p>Europe has its own customs. In the UK until the mid-20th century, along the <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=hXNuVogVnQYC&oi=fnd&pg=PA4&dq=Death+in+Staithes&ots=Dd1dFkLAtT&sig=Tz1yx6vnNT9xKQe-u0VmtKFR-Gw#v=onepage&q=Death%20in%20Staithes&f=false">Yorkshire coast</a>, the lying-out of the body was done by women of the village. Friends and family would come to view the deceased, pay their respects, and recall memories of the person. This practice continues in some countries. </p>
<p>In <a href="https://debbiecollins.co.uk/an-italian-grief/">Italy</a>, for example, a temporary refrigerated coffin is delivered to the family home so people can bring flowers and pay their respects in the immediate aftermath of the death.</p>
<h2>4. Signs from above</h2>
<p>In the UK, some people believe that white feathers are a message from heaven, though this is often dismissed as childlike <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03069885.2021.1983154">magical thinking</a>. But in many <a href="https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1018&=&context=iaccp_papers&=&sei-redir=1&referer=https%253A%252F%252Fscholar.google.co.uk%252Fscholar%253Fhl%253Den%2526as_sdt%253D0%25252C5%2526q%253Dtraditional%252Bafrican%252Bcommunication%252Bwith%252Bthe%252Bdeceased%2526btnG%253D#search=%22traditional%20african%20communication%20deceased%22">African societies</a>, spiritual connection to the deceased is considered normal and very real. </p>
<p>In sub-Saharan Africa, the traditional belief is that the dead become spirits but remain in the living world on Earth. They are thought of as the living dead. The spirit may <a href="https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/85385219/a_3A102281872291320220503-1-4qjnu8-libre.pdf?1651555207=&response-content-disposition=inline%3B+filename%3DParallels_Between_Jungian_and_Black_Afri.pdf&Expires=1674486693&Signature=Kj%7ErNYUajI6lizNik5rmD3pqu9LXaBXG59aMjcM7w99p7TCgJjkxhJRXDam88BAqYFcQmRLyhlH6hGHmXTamAP54yPVOLCysS8R3HnCKKY6YxFOw80hRur7AXiBlre2e%7EpFH0YIdxFAQ6XEm5P2uAD3cVLRHOA5ECpxwEVGuSd0GNLb7DHh1SN6dlYubHQijCdbNPPQB7-e%7E1MiXIAynAzcGsdD5s%7E956Ag3dM9zeHpzfKU1pqr13-D2C4f3%7E%7EgcFrg3nC-EPS74CXS10Px64fY0Q8q13b50wyt3xqvfesmK-eew6J1g5qyQMru-L0Sp0HUFaI3V5y7BNT-6hAoIIg__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJLOHF5GGSLRBV4ZA">appear in dreams</a> in their human form.</p>
<h2>5. Sending on the spirit</h2>
<p>The Māori people indigenous to New Zealand set aside time to grieve and mourn. They perform rites for the dead in a process called “<a href="https://researchcommons.waikato.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10289/7968/Nikora%20et%20al%202010%20Tangihanga%20overview.pdf?sequence=1">tangihanga</a>”. First, rituals send on the spirit, then the body is prepared by an undertaker, often helped by family members. The body returns to the family home for the family to reminisce in celebration. </p>
<p>Elaborate rituals follow, including dances and songs and finally a farewell speech. Traditional artefacts including clothes, weapons and jewellery are displayed. After the funeral, there is a ritual cleansing of the deceased’s house and feasting, before an eventual unveiling of the headstone.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/197299/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>John Frederick Wilson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>From Bali to China, Italy to India, the way people grieve varies greatly across the world.John Frederick Wilson, Honorary Research Fellow, Director of Bereavement Services Counselling & Mental Health Clinic, York St John UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1858832022-06-27T13:56:46Z2022-06-27T13:56:46ZStruggling with positive thinking? Research shows grumpy moods can actually be useful<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/471117/original/file-20220627-20-z1y5cl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=294%2C15%2C4881%2C3422&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Even anger serves a purpose.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/furious-frustrated-caucasian-woman-steaming-rage-520575331">TeodorLazarev/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>As psychiatry, which uses medical and biological methods to treat mental disorders, <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/364/bmj.l1508">has largely overtaken</a> <a href="https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/decline-psychotherapy">psychotherapy</a>, which relies on non-biological approaches such as conversation and counselling, psychotherapists have sought alternative challenges. One common approach is to focus on enhancing the happiness of mentally healthy people, rather than relieving the mental pain and trauma of those who are suffering. </p>
<p>This is known as “positive psychology” and has recently expanded to accommodate not only psychologists, but also social workers, life coaches and new age therapists. But there is evidence to suggest the approach has a negative side.</p>
<p>Perhaps the most common advice made by positive psychologists is that we should <a href="https://positivepsychology.com/present-moment/">seize the day and live in the moment</a>. Doing so helps us be more positive and avoid three of the most infamous emotional states, which I call the RAW emotions: regret, anger and worry. Ultimately, it suggests that we avoid focusing too much on <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1078390303261168">regrets and anger</a> about the past, or worries about the future.</p>
<p>It sounds like an easy task. But human psychology is evolutionarily hardwired to live in the past and the future. Other species have instincts and reflexes to help with their survival, but human survival relies very much on learning and planning. You can’t learn without living in the past, and you can’t plan without living in the future.</p>
<p>Regret, for example, which can make us suffer by reflecting on the past, <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-fear-of-regret-can-lock-us-into-bad-relationships-jobs-and-habits-heres-how-to-break-free-111115">is an indispensable mental mechanism</a> for learning from one’s own mistakes to avoid repeating them.</p>
<p>Worries about the future are likewise essential to motivate us to do something that is somewhat unpleasant today but can create gain or spare us a greater loss in the future. If we didn’t worry about the future at all, we may not even bother with acquiring an education, take responsibility for our health or store food.</p>
<p>Like regret and worries, anger is an instrumental emotion, which my co-authors and I have <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17470919.2011.559124">shown in several research papers</a>. It protects us against being abused by others and motivates people around us to respect our interests. Research has even shown that a certain degree of anger in negotiations <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15491275/">can be helpful</a>, leading to better outcomes. </p>
<p>What’s more, research has shown negative moods in general can be quite useful – <a href="https://asset-pdf.scinapse.io/prod/2107145111/2107145111.pdf">making us less gullible and more sceptical</a>. Studies have estimated that a whopping 80% of people in the west in fact <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/jan/01/tali-sharot-the-optimism-bias-extract">have an optimism bias</a>, which means we learn more from positive experiences than from negative ones. This can lead to some poorly thought-out decisions, such as putting all our funds into a project with little chance of success. So do we really need to be even more optimistic?</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Image of a smiley face, and two less happy faces." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/471119/original/file-20220627-23-mjscln.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Happy thoughts come with problems, too.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/hand-choosing-happy-smile-face-paper-1735801265">SewCream/Shutterstcok</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>For example, optimism bias is linked to overconfidence – believing we are generally better than others at most things, from <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0001691881900056?via%3Dihub">driving</a> to grammar. Overconfidence can become a problem in relationships (where a bit of humility can save the day). It can also make us fail to prepare properly for a difficult task – and blame others when we ultimately fail. </p>
<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/the-surprising-benefits-of-being-a-pessimist-91851">Defensive pessimism</a>, on the other hand, can help anxious individuals, in particular, prepare by setting a reasonably low bar instead of panicking, making it easier to overcome obstacles calmly. </p>
<h2>Capitalist interests</h2>
<p>Despite this, positive psychology has left its marks on policymaking at national and international level. One of its contributions was in triggering a debate among economists about whether a country’s prosperity should be measured by growth and GDP alone, or whether a more general approach to wellbeing should be adopted. This led to <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/mishagajewski/2020/12/09/turns-out-we-dont-really-know-how-to-measure-happiness/?sh=4cafad535fdd">the misleading conjecture</a> that one can measure happiness by simply asking people whether or not they are happy. </p>
<p>This is how the <a href="https://worldhappiness.report/#:%7E:text=World%20Happiness%20Report%202022,bright%20light%20in%20dark%20times.">UN happiness index</a> – which provides a ridiculous ranking of countries by their happiness level – is constructed. While questionnaires about happiness measure something, it is not happiness <em>per se</em>, but rather the readiness of people to admit that life is quite often difficult, or alternatively, their tendency to arrogantly boast that they always do better than others.</p>
<p>The excessive focus of positive psychology on happiness, and its assertion that we have full control over it, is detrimental in other respects, too. In a recent book called <a href="https://catalog.2seasagency.com/book/happycracy-science-happiness-controls-lives/">“Happycracy”</a>, the author, Edgar Cabanas, argues that this assertion is cynically being used by corporations and politicians to shift the responsibility for anything ranging between a mild dissatisfaction with life to clinical depression from economic and societal agencies to the suffering individuals themselves.</p>
<p>After all, if we have full control of our happiness, how can we blame unemployment, inequality or poverty for our misery? But the truth is that we don’t have full control over our happiness, and societal structures can often create adversity, poverty, stress and unfairness – things that shape how we feel. To believe that you can just think yourself better by focusing on positive emotions when you’re in financial danger or have gone through major trauma is at the very least naive.</p>
<p>While I don’t believe positive psychology is a conspiracy promoted by capitalist companies, I do believe that we don’t have full control over our happiness, and that striving for it can <a href="https://theconversation.com/humans-arent-designed-to-be-happy-so-stop-trying-119262">make people quite miserable</a> rather than happy. Instructing a person to be happy is not much different than asking them not to think of a pink elephant – in both cases their mind can easily go in the opposite direction. In the former case, not being able to fulfil the goal to be happy adds substantial frustration and self-blame. </p>
<p>And then comes the question of whether happiness is really the most important value in life. Is it even something stable that can last over time? The answer to these questions <a href="https://observer.com/2016/11/the-purpose-of-life-is-not-happiness-its-usefulness/">were given more than a hundred years ago</a> by the American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185883/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Eyal Winter receives funding from ESRC.</span></em></p>Don’t fear emotions such as regret, anger or worry.Eyal Winter, Andrews and Elizabeth Brunner Professor of Behavioural/Industrial Economics, Lancaster UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1749552022-02-01T16:32:12Z2022-02-01T16:32:12ZPeople should be allowed to visit, say goodbye to those who are dying during COVID-19<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/441616/original/file-20220119-17-1ifxybh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C3000%2C1913&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Our healthcare system needs to respond in a more just, inclusive, caring and timely way to allow in-person final goodbyes.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graham Hughes </span></span></figcaption></figure><p>As <a href="https://globalnews.ca/video/8513269/covid-19-hospitalizations-projected-to-surge-as-omicron-spreads-faster-and-further">hospitalizations increase</a> with another surge in COVID-19 cases, Canadians need evidence-based recommendations to prevent people from dying alone, without friends or family by their side. </p>
<p>It is important to learn from the last two years to improve and influence health-care visitation policies.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/10-ways-to-help-lonely-loved-ones-in-long-term-care-homes-according-to-an-ltc-worker-174738">10 ways to help lonely loved ones in long-term care homes, according to an LTC worker</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>The pandemic has changed how people were able to support loved ones who were dying <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/19/health/covid-19-testing-nursing-home-visit-wellness/index.html">due to visitation restrictions and COVID-19</a> safety protocols. </p>
<p>From January to June 2021, we interviewed people who experienced a death of someone close to them during the pandemic. We wanted to deepen our understanding of people’s experiences during these unusual times of social isolation, masks and lockdowns so, as researchers and practitioners, we asked them to share their stories. </p>
<p>We heard about mothers, fathers, children, partners and friends dying in hospital, long-term care and at home alone — our research is yet to be published but will be shared in journals and at conferences. </p>
<p>We asked people what leaders and policy-makers need to understand so changes can be implemented to improve visitation and connection with those at end of life.</p>
<p>While participants in this research recognized the need for caution regarding infection control and reducing COVID-19 spread, there was a strong sentiment of needing to approach visitation and caregiver involvement differently. </p>
<p>Our health-care decision-makers need to understand the perspectives of those who didn’t get to say their final goodbyes.</p>
<h2>Barriers to advocacy</h2>
<p>Ongoing changes to visitation policies have made it difficult for many who want to be present when someone they know is seriously ill or dying. It is especially burdensome for individuals navigating <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1136/bmjopen-2021-053959">existing barriers, such as language, cultural and other forms of discrimination</a>. </p>
<p>In 2019, <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/corporate/publications/chief-public-health-officer-reports-state-public-health-canada/addressing-stigma-toward-more-inclusive-health-system.html">Canada’s chief public health officer</a> recognized the detrimental effects discrimination and stigma can have on individuals accessing health-care services — this was evident from our interviews. </p>
<p>Some people indicated pre-existing barriers, including poor communication, which made advocacy for access and visitation overly burdensome. Others, primarily those with higher education or with privilege, were able to voice their concerns and successfully advocate for visitations, despite restrictions. </p>
<p>If people were able to advocate, sometimes visitation rules were flexible. This raises concerns for those who don’t have the ability to advocate for themselves. There’s a need for change. </p>
<h2>Restriction disconnect</h2>
<p>Restrictions were imposed in order to curb the spread of the virus. However, the rules didn’t always make sense to everyone.</p>
<p>The people we interviewed felt that restrictions within the health-care systems lacked rationale and transparency. They were frustrated that malls and restaurants remained open while they were unable to visit a seriously ill or dying person who mattered to them. </p>
<p>Some people argued that if they were to wear full PPE and follow precautions as health-care providers do, they shouldn’t be locked out.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A person sits looking out their window" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=416&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=416&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=416&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=522&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=522&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441617/original/file-20220119-23-19wy6ee.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=522&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A resident gazes out his window in the morning sun at Hawthorn Place Care Centre in Toronto last May.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">THE CANADIAN PRESS/Frank Gun</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Friends and family providing care for people in health-care settings argue they are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12913-019-4394-5">essential members of the care team, offering expert, intimate knowledge and time</a>. </p>
<p>One person told us they would spend hours at home encouraging their frail spouse to eat, but were only allowed to visit for one hour per week when their spouse was hospitalized. A mother was initially told she was unable to visit her seriously ill disabled son, but advocated to stay with him. As his daily caregiver and decision-maker, she understood his needs in a way health-care workers couldn’t. </p>
<p>While <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/8509625/icu-doctor-omicron-unrelenting-pressure/">health-care systems continue to be put under pressure</a> by new COVID-19 variants and critical staffing shortages, we argue that essential visitors need to include friends or family, particularly when a person is seriously ill or dying.</p>
<h2>Changes need to be made</h2>
<p>COVID-19 has altered the perspectives of many. <a href="https://www.virtualhospice.ca/Assets/Grief%20Alliance%20Release%20FIN%20May%2012_20200512145234.pdf">Many health and social care providers</a> are concerned that people who have been unable to say goodbye are at an increased likeliness of experiencing <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20348">prolonged and complicated grief</a>. </p>
<p>The pandemic has rendered caring, grief and connecting with loved ones at the end of life even more challenging than usual. But two years into the pandemic we are learning a hard lesson: connection and presence are essential. </p>
<p>Visitation restrictions are impacting our abilities to connect, care and love, which in turn will have a profound impact on grief and a wider social impact that we are only beginning to understand. </p>
<p>So, what can be done? We recommend:</p>
<ol>
<li>Make visitation for end of life a priority.</li>
<li>When possible, allow more than one person at the bedside.</li>
<li>Increase transparency of visitation policies by updating them regularly on facility websites and media.</li>
<li>Enable technology (cellphones, iPads etc.) to allow more people to stay connected. </li>
<li>Provide education and access to appropriate PPE and COVID-19 testing so visitation can be maintained in the safest way possible for all.</li>
</ol>
<p>The findings from this research demonstrate that our health-care system needs to respond in a more just, inclusive, caring and timely way to allow in-person final goodbyes from those who matter most to those at the end of life.</p>
<p>As one person shared: “That is what COVID is doing to families, it’s robbing them being connected, and of grieving and of remembering and of just appreciating those gifts that those people were in our lives. And yeah, it’s just not right.”</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/174955/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Susan Cadell is affiliated with the NDP as a riding association member and former candidate.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kathy Kortesm is affiliated with the Canadian Grief Alliance</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ashley Doyle and Sunita Lad do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Our health-care system needs to respond in a more just, inclusive, caring and timely way to allow in-person final goodbyes from those who matter most to those at the end of life.Susan Cadell, Professor, Social Work, University of WaterlooAshley Doyle, Masters Student, Social Work, Research Assistant, University of WaterlooKathy Kortes-Miller, Associate Professor, School of Social Work, Lakehead UniversitySunita Lad, Masters Student, Social Work, Research Assistant, University of WaterlooLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1749942022-01-17T14:20:34Z2022-01-17T14:20:34ZLanguishing: what to do if you’re feeling restless, apathetic or empty<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/441095/original/file-20220117-13-kk8gsv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=60%2C0%2C6720%2C4476&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Many people may have experienced languishing without even knowing what it was.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/upset-africanamerican-teenage-boy-sitting-alone-1346023889">New Africa/ Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>If you’ve been feeling restless, apathetic or even emotionally empty since the pandemic began, you may be “languishing”. Languishing is described as an emotional state of limbo, aimlessness and low mood, which can last for a long time. But while languishing isn’t itself considered a mental health disorder, it could ultimately lead to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-15089-006">anxiety or depression</a>.</p>
<p>Many people may even have experienced – or may still be experiencing – languishing without really even knowing what it is or why they’re feeling that way. In fact, an international study which looked at data from participants in 78 different countries between April and June 2020 found that 10% of people experienced <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7774914/">languishing</a> during the pandemic. </p>
<p>The causes of languishing are different for every person – though they may result from many factors, such as stress, trauma or even a change in routine. But the good news is that languishing <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2978199/">doesn’t last forever</a>, and there are many things you can do to improve your mental state.</p>
<h2>Languishing versus depression</h2>
<p>Languishing can be a precursor for depression or exist alongside depression. But while the two may share some similarities, they also differ in many ways – mainly in how the symptoms present themselves.</p>
<p>Depression can be characterised by emotional, mental, behavioural and physiological symptoms – including fatigue, sleeping too much or too little, weight loss of gain, negative thoughts, negative feelings or suicidal thoughts. Languishing, shares some of the symptoms with depression, such as having negative emotions. But it’s also characterised by not feeling in control of your life, feeling like you aren’t able to grow or change and not engaging with your community (including with friends or family).</p>
<p>Though languishing isn’t considered a mental health disorder, it can still be challenging to bear – and may even be more difficult than <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15982151/">experiencing depression</a> for some. Research that compared the experiences of people with mental health disorders with those experiencing languishing found languishers were more likely not to know what they wanted out of life, found setting goals for the near future unhelpful or didn’t take action when faced with adversity.</p>
<p>On the other hand, people with depression, anxiety and even alcohol dependence felt more likely to find planning helpful, take action to improve their situation and know what outcome they wanted from their life.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Sad young woman wearing a grey hooded jumper on a balcony stares into the distance." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/441096/original/file-20220117-21-1tve84s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Languishing may be as difficult to experience as other mental health conditions.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/side-view-sad-single-teenager-looking-511563886">Antonio Guillem/ Shutterstock</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>These contrasting experiences give us some insight into why languishing can be such a challenging state to experience. Being diagnosed with a mental health condition means people may better know how to tackle their situation and make improvements, or may at least be able to access services and treatments (such as therapy) that can help them. But as languishing isn’t considered a mental health disorder, people may not know why they feel the way they do, and they may not be able to get the help they need from their GP or other mental health services.</p>
<p>That isn’t to say depression isn’t a challenging condition to experience. But as languishing can very well turn into depression, it’s important to take action and do something to improve your mental health as soon as you can.</p>
<h2>Getting better</h2>
<p>To understand how to reduce languishing, it’s important to understand the difference between languishers and flourishers (people who experience high levels of mental health).</p>
<p>We know from previous research that flourishers are seven times less likely to experience depression than people with <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32339105">lower levels of wellbeing</a> (such as languishers). Flourishing is even shown to <a href="https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/10.2105/AJPH.2010.192245">protect against depression</a>.</p>
<p>While <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11482-019-09771-8">both languishers and flourishers</a> value having meaning in their life, goals and relationships, languishers are more self-oriented – wanting to find their own meaning and improve their own happiness. Flourishers, on the other hand, are more focused on others and contributing to the greater good.</p>
<p>The way <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11482-019-09771-8">languishers and flourishers connect</a> is also different. While both groups value relationships, languishers tend to feel their pets or possessions are most important to them, while flourishers feel connecting to their society, community or culture was most important. This shows us flourishers are much more focused on connecting with other people – while languishers search for alternative ways of feeling connected.</p>
<p>We don’t know if it’s because languishers aren’t well that they become more self-focused, or if it’s because of their self-focus that they experience languishing. But what we do know is that taking a lesson from flourishers can help people who are languishing improve their wellbeing.</p>
<h2>Take action</h2>
<p>Research shows us that finding ways of connecting with the community can help languishers improve their wellbeing. This can be in any form, such as <a href="http://www.katherinenelsoncoffey.com/uploads/2/7/1/7/27172343/nelson-coffey_et_al._2021_frontiers.pdf">performing acts of kindness</a> for others (such as making someone a cup, helping a colleague at work or even <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5504679/">volunteering</a>.</p>
<p><a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-13-119">Other techniques</a> that may improve wellbeing for people with languishing include practising gratitude and reflecting on what is going well in their life, and trying to use less <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11482-019-09771-8">negative language</a> in their daily life. Actively seeking out <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34843302/">positive experiences</a> – such as those that allow you to feel a connection with loved ones, friends or even strangers – may also help improve wellbeing and reduce experiences of languishing. </p>
<p>While being in an aimless limbo is difficult, it’s important to remember that doing something is better than doing nothing at all. Whether that’s something small like simply acknowledging that you’re languishing or speaking with a friend about how you feel, doing something is the first step to making positive improvements in how you’re feeling.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/174994/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jolanta Burke does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Almost 10% of people have reported experiencing ‘languishing’ during the pandemic.Jolanta Burke, Senior Lecturer, Centre for Positive Psychology and Health, RCSI University of Medicine and Health SciencesLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1703222021-11-17T10:59:36Z2021-11-17T10:59:36ZAdele 30: the psychology of why sad songs make us feel good<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427805/original/file-20211021-25-oveyx4.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C12%2C2878%2C1318&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ASj1L6_sY&ab_channel=AdeleVEVO">Adele/Youtube</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Adele’s new album, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30_(Adele_album)">30</a>, is finally available. Last month, hundreds of millions of us streamed its first single, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ASj1L6_sY">Easy On Me</a>. This song evokes feelings not easily put into words. But we can probably agree it is a sad song.</p>
<p>It isn’t obvious that we should like sad music. Sadness is usually a feeling <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0110490">we try to avoid</a>. An alien might expect us to find such music depressing and dislikable.</p>
<p>Yet, sad music pulls us in and lifts us up. So, why does hearing sad music feel so good?</p>
<hr>
<iframe id="noa-web-audio-player" style="border: none" src="https://embed-player.newsoveraudio.com/v4?key=x84olp&id=https://theconversation.com/adele-30-the-psychology-of-why-sad-songs-make-us-feel-good-170322&bgColor=F5F5F5&color=D8352A&playColor=D8352A" width="100%" height="110px"></iframe>
<p><em>You can listen to more articles from The Conversation, narrated by Noa, <a href="https://theconversation.com/uk/topics/audio-narrated-99682">here</a>.</em></p>
<hr>
<h2>The biology of sad music</h2>
<p>Let’s start with biological theories. When we experience real-life loss, or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1749-6632.2009.04504.x">empathise with another’s pain</a>, hormones such as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1029864911401171">prolactin</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.plrev.2017.11.016">oxytocin</a> are released within us. These help us cope with loss and pain. They do so by making us feel calmed, consoled, and supported.</p>
<p>Feeling Adele’s pain, or recalling our own, may cause such <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.plrev.2017.11.016">chemical changes within us</a>. Clicking on Adele’s song may be like clicking on our own metaphorical morphine drip. </p>
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<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U3ASj1L6_sY?wmode=transparent&start=94" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
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<p>The jury is still out on this theory. One study <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1029864919890900">found no evidence</a> that sad music increases prolactin levels. Yet, other studies have hinted at <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-00751-001">a role for prolactin</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.14660">oxytocin</a> in making sad music feel good.</p>
<h2>The psychology of sad music</h2>
<p>A key reason we enjoy sad songs is because they profoundly “move” us. This experience is sometimes <a href="https://theconversation.com/goosebumps-tears-and-tenderness-what-it-means-to-be-moved-72545">called <em>kama muta</em></a>, a Sanskrit term meaning “moved by love”. Feeling moved <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000271">can involve</a> chills, goosebumps, a flood of emotions (including <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00311/full">romantic ones</a>), a warmth in our chest, and elation.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/goosebumps-tears-and-tenderness-what-it-means-to-be-moved-72545">Goosebumps, tears and tenderness: what it means to be moved</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>But why do we feel moved? The American writer James Baldwin got at this when he reflected: “The things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” Similarly, feeling moved can come from us <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000271">suddenly feeling closer to other people</a>.</p>
<p>This may explain why the people most likely to feel moved by sad music are those <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00439/full">high in empathy</a>. Indeed, when we have listened to 30 we may turn to reaction videos to see how others feel. This lets us share an emotional experience with others. A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000271">sense of communal sharing</a> boosts our feeling of being moved and triggers feelings of comfort and belonging. </p>
<p>A related suggestion is that Adele’s sad music can be a friend to us. It can act as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.plrev.2017.11.016">a social surrogate</a>. Sad music can be experienced as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735613517410">an imaginary friend</a> who provides support and empathy after loss. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Adele singing while sitting on a chair." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=276&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=276&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=276&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=347&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=347&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427806/original/file-20211021-20-1funfq7.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=347&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Sad songs like Easy on Me can make us feel moved through a shared emotional experience.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ASj1L6_sY&ab_channel=AdeleVEVO">Adele/Youtube</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Feeling moved can also result from <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0128451">memories being triggered</a> of important moments of our lives. Adele’s songs are powerfully nostalgic. It may be nostalgia, rather than sadness, that we enjoy. </p>
<p>Indeed, when people listen to sad music, <a href="https://internal-journal.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2015.00404/full">only around 25%</a> say they actually feel sad. The remainder experience other, often related emotions, most commonly nostalgia. This feeling of <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01186/full">nostalgia can help increase</a> our sense of social connectedness, mitigate feelings of meaningless, and reduce anxiety.</p>
<p>A completely different type of psychological theory is that Adele’s songs are emotional gyms. They give us a safe, controlled space in which we can explore simulated sadness. They are the emotional equivalent of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhrNgXJ__n8">Neo sparring with Morpheus</a> in the Matrix movie.</p>
<p>Simulated sadness lets us experiment with and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00073.x">learn from this emotion</a>. We can enhance our empathy, learn to better see things from other people’s perspectives, and try out various responses to sadness. This may make us better prepared for when real loss strikes. Such learning experiences may have evolved to be pleasurable to encourage their use.</p>
<h2>Making sense of sadness</h2>
<p>Alternatively, it could be that Adele’s songs aren’t pleasurable because they are sad or nostalgic. They may be pleasurable simply because they are beautiful. Sadness might just happen to coincide with beauty. Indeed, seeing <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000271">acts of moral virtue or beauty</a> have been suggested to provoke feelings of elevation and can touch, move and inspire us.</p>
<p>We can also think <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.plrev.2017.11.016">at the cultural level</a>. Here we can view the pleasure Adele’s songs gives us in terms of the meaning she helps us make. Adele takes hard life experiences and helps makes sense of them. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Adele singing." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=275&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=275&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=275&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=346&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=346&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/427802/original/file-20211021-13-9sneq3.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=346&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Adele’s music can look back at hard life experiences.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ASj1L6_sY&ab_channel=AdeleVEVO">Adele/Youtube</a></span>
</figcaption>
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<p>This is what much <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.plrev.2017.11.016">tragic art does</a>. It takes the pain and the suffering and the sadness of the world and gives it meaning. As the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once put it, someone who has a why to live can bear almost any how.</p>
<p>Ultimately, Adele’s songs will mean something different to each of us. We listen to sad music when we want <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0157444#pone.0157444.s002">to reflect, belong, or relax</a>. We listen to <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0157444#pone.0157444.s002">experience beauty, receive comfort or reminisce</a>. </p>
<p>But to all of us Adele’s songs say: you are not alone in your pain. They let us feel her pain, share our suffering, and connect with others past and present. And in the sharedness of our humanity is beauty.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/170322/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Simon McCarthy-Jones receives funding from the Irish Research Council. He also likes Adele's music.</span></em></p>It may seem odd that we get pleasure from sad songs.Simon McCarthy-Jones, Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology and Neuropsychology, Trinity College DublinLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1653292021-08-13T03:47:05Z2021-08-13T03:47:05ZIt’s OK if you have a little cry in lockdown. You’re grieving<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/415954/original/file-20210813-25-1ijpqcr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=2%2C4%2C995%2C661&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/silhouette-womans-head-waving-hair-back-563555992">from www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>If you are one of the millions of Australians in lockdown, you are not alone in feeling a range of emotions difficult to put into words. </p>
<p>Lockdown days are blurry, with <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-the-groundhog-day-grind-of-lockdown-scrambles-your-memory-and-sense-of-time-164951">time lost</a> within our own four walls. These walls are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42087-021-00185-3">far more visible</a> than we’ve noticed before. Our obsession with the never-ending news cycle leaves us both <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/61/1/8/5877938">informed and overwhelmed</a>.</p>
<p>Whether it’s a day filled with anger and sadness or oscillating between feeling grateful and feeling lost, this lockdown feels harder than ever before.</p>
<p>And the sadness you may be feeling, but can’t quite put your finger on,
could be something called “disenfranchised grief”.</p>
<h2>Let’s admit how tough it’s been</h2>
<p>The COVID-19 pandemic has brought <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2516602620937922">changes to our lives</a> we never imagined. It has <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0245009">transformed the world</a> we live in, our sense of safety, our behaviours and how connected we feel to our loved ones.</p>
<p>It’s highlighted the <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-wired-to-connect/">importance of human connection</a>. We’ve learned a lack of connection with others can bring social pain, just as real as physical pain.</p>
<p>We’ve heard <a href="https://hbr.org/2020/11/its-okay-to-not-be-okay">it’s OK to not be OK</a>. Just last week, Lifeline recorded its busiest ever day, <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-08-04/lifeline-records-highest-daily-calls-on-record/100350522">receiving 3,345 calls</a> for help.</p>
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<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/lockdowns-dont-get-easier-the-more-we-have-them-melbourne-here-are-6-tips-to-help-you-cope-161991">Lockdowns don't get easier the more we have them. Melbourne, here are 6 tips to help you cope</a>
</strong>
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<hr>
<h2>What is disenfranchised grief?</h2>
<p>The sadness you may be feeling can be down to a number of reasons. And feeling sad is not necessarily a sign of a mental health disorder. In fact feeling sad is one of the range of emotions that make us human, and has <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-bad-moods-are-good-for-you-the-surprising-benefits-of-sadness-75402">benefits</a>.</p>
<p>But this doesn’t really explain the sadness many of us are feeling in lockdown right now — disenfranchised grief.</p>
<p>US researcher and professor Kenneth Doka <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02682629908657467?journalCode=rber20">introduced this notion</a> about 30 years ago. He described disenfranchised grief as a loss not “openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly mourned”.</p>
<p>This fits with what we know about COVID-19, with stories of intangible losses including loss of safety, control, community, dignity and independence. Feelings of loss seem to envelope us wherever we turn.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1406003414149079040"}"></div></p>
<p>Grandparents <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13545701.2020.1860246?journalCode=rfec20">lost time with their grandkids</a>; children have lost parts of their childhood, the milestones, the sleepovers, the ability to play with other children outside the home. Parents <a href="https://www.childhood.org.au/app/uploads/2020/08/A_Lasting_Legacy_-_The_Impact_of_COVID19_on_Children_and_Parents_Final.pdf">lost their village</a> of support and parents-to-be <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/birt.12569">lost their birthing plans</a>.</p>
<p>Refugees and temporary migrants <a href="https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2020-09/apo-nid308305.pdf">lost the safety</a> of new-found homes, with the loss of jobs, accommodation and support services; citizens lost the predictability of being able to come home. </p>
<p>Students were <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13384-021-00436-w">robbed of in-person learning</a> and parents were robbed of celebrating their children’s transition to the next phase in life. As well as birthdays and graduations, we lost funerals and weddings.</p>
<p>And when it came to grieving and loss, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.638874/full">we lost access</a> to the places and people that allow us to grieve collectively — our wider family and community, as well as places of worship. </p>
<h2>Is it OK to grieve about this?</h2>
<p>Societal and cultural norms, <a href="https://bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12884-020-03514-6">including gender norms</a>, dictate how we grieve. These norms allow us to mourn the death of a loved one. Yet it feels more challenging to mourn the loss of our way of life.</p>
<p>Grieving can feel complicated in a pandemic when others may have it worse. People may question whether it’s legitimate for them to grieve the loss of their way of life. Researchers also talk about a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2190/OM.66.2.a?journalCode=omea">hierarchy of loss</a>, a sliding scale of who has a socially acceptable right to grieve, rather than a simple “yes” or “no”.</p>
<p>Disenfranchised grief may also <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274725506_Assisting_Clients_With_Disenfranchised_Grief_The_Role_of_a_Mental_Health_Nurse">cloud our ability</a> to identify and validate our difficult emotions, such as feelings of shame. This may be especially so when <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24183108/">others don’t see these losses</a>.</p>
<p>This impacts our capacity to express emotions as well as seek appropriate support when needed.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/lockdowns-make-people-lonely-here-are-3-steps-we-can-take-now-to-help-each-other-165256">Lockdowns make people lonely. Here are 3 steps we can take now to help each other</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>What can I do?</h2>
<p>Grief is real even when it feels impossible to explain what you’re feeling. So it’s important to acknowledge the loss. </p>
<p>Grieving is allowing yourself permission to say out aloud what you have lost. It can be validating to also label the emotions you’re feeling, even if they sound contradictory, such as feelings of both anger and guilt. </p>
<p>Although the risk of depression and anxiety symptoms for people with vulnerabilities has <a href="https://www.mja.com.au/journal/2021/214/10/trajectories-depression-and-anxiety-symptoms-during-covid-19-pandemic">increased during the pandemic</a>, it is not helpful to always pathologise valid human emotions that tell us we are not doing so well. These emotions act as a compass for us to slow down, reset expectations, and seek support when necessary.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-five-stages-of-grief-dont-come-in-fixed-steps-everyone-feels-differently-96111">The five stages of grief don't come in fixed steps – everyone feels differently</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Setting practical and achievable short-term goals can help direct our behaviour to be more purposeful. Sticking to a routine (as closely as possible to what you did before lockdown) can also support our sense of control.</p>
<p>Check in with yourself and each other. Use social media for support, which many <a href="https://www.westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0006/1837896/SocialMedia_LGBTQIA_YPReport_Final.pdf">young people in the LGBTQIA+ community</a> have found beneficial during the pandemic. It’s vital for us to hear others’ experiences that can normalise our own. </p>
<p>Finally, nothing is more important than reminding ourselves we are living through a one-in-one hundred year event. We are all doing the best we can. And that’s not only OK, it’s enough.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or GriefLine on 1300 845 745.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/165329/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Neeraja Sanmuhanathan is a Senior Sexual Assault Counsellor with NSW Health at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, Sydney. She received the Australian Research Training Program Scholarship to complete her PhD at the University of Sydney.</span></em></p>We are living through a one-in-one hundred year event. We are all doing the best we can. And that’s not only OK, it’s enough.Neeraja Sanmuhanathan, Lecturer in Counselling, University of Notre Dame AustraliaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1316292020-06-22T16:13:51Z2020-06-22T16:13:51ZYour emotions are the new hot commodity — and there’s an app for that<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342304/original/file-20200616-23227-dca15z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=115%2C70%2C4166%2C2773&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Many of the most popular apps are about self-improvement.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Thúy Lâm/Unsplash)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Emotions are the newest hot commodity, and we can’t get enough.</p>
<p>Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, we’ve come to rely even more on our digital devices, including to help manage our emotions. </p>
<p>There are approximately 2.57 million apps available for Android users to download and approximately <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/276623/number-of-apps-available-in-leading-app-stores/">1.84 million apps available for Apple users</a>. Apps are those tools on our phones or tablets which help us monitor, record and regulate some of the most intimate aspects of our lives, from sleep and menstrual cycles, to food intake and finances. </p>
<p>Many of the most popular apps in the West include the goal of self-improvement, which seems to be a constant drive for many. </p>
<p>The investment of our time and money into apps that help us become better performers, managers and producers is one of the consequences of neoliberalism, <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/neoliberalism">the idea that humans can make progress in their lives through market competition and economic growth</a>.</p>
<p>Neoliberalism empasizes <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/terms/n/neoliberalism.asp">individualism, economic efficiency, low to no government interference</a> and generally ignores systemic issues.</p>
<p>Under neoliberalism, a person is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038960">an enterprise</a> whose personality traits and skills are considered valuable assets that need continuous <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038960">management, improvement and investment</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/what-exactly-is-neoliberalism-84755">What exactly is neoliberalism?</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Apps can help with the business of us: we can easily track and monitor our bodies with <a href="https://sworkit.com/">workout classes</a>, <a href="https://www.myfitnesspal.com/">diets</a> and <a href="https://www.duolingo.com/">skill-building exercises</a>. As we track our progress in apps, we can literally visualize our bodies and capabilities improve. </p>
<p>Emotions, however, are trickier. We haven’t had the same kind of metric tools and assessment criteria to track our minds to the same degree we can track our bodies <a href="https://lifesum.com/">caloric intake</a> or <a href="https://www.fitbit.com/en-ca/home">waist circumference</a>. </p>
<p>Enter mood tracking apps. </p>
<p>The simultaneous production and consumption of emotion, or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F1469540509354673">emotional prosumption</a> manufactures emotion for consumer consumption. </p>
<h2>The pursuit of happiness</h2>
<p>Mood tracking apps are sophisticated tools which promise the ability to track, measure and improve our emotions. Positive emotions, like happiness, are encouraged through visual features like “<a href="https://daylio.webflow.io/">best day streaks</a>.”</p>
<p>Negative emotions like sadness or anger are dissected with aims <a href="https://happify.com/">to avoid or erase their existence</a>. </p>
<p>In this new emotional frontier, happiness is the bar against which we measure all other emotions. The very existence of mood tracking apps is a testament to this.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-ruthless-pursuit-of-online-likes-gives-you-nothing-100862">The ruthless pursuit of online 'likes' gives you nothing</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>The potential to improve our emotional traits and skills through apps appears limitless. While there is nothing wrong with pursuing a more fulfilling emotional life, there is a danger in being blinded by the quest for happiness. Since mood tracking apps are designed to direct us solely toward happiness, will we be prevented from understanding and engaging with the true complexity of our emotions?</p>
<h2>Data dangers</h2>
<p>By reducing our experiences, bodies and emotions to numbers, or quantified data, we make them ripe for consumption by app developers and interested third parties. </p>
<p>As a critical health researcher and a digital health literacy researcher, we are both concerned with how unsuspecting users may be taken advantage of within this frontier of continual self-improvement, especially if their personal data falls into the wrong hands and manipulated against them.</p>
<p>When it comes to commerce, emotions are powerful. They have the ability to move us towards action, change our minds and foster new relationships. They are also fast and reactive. Making decisions becomes more challenging when choices are everywhere and need to be made at lightning speed. </p>
<p>Modern advertising, by design, targets this impulsivity by hooking us on products and content through emotion.</p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=775&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=775&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=775&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=973&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=973&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/342308/original/file-20200616-23261-2fxj77.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=973&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Emotional data leaves us vulnerable to manipulation by corporations and political parties.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Marcus P./Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In his book, <a href="https://www.versobooks.com/books/2505-psychopolitics"><em>Psychopolitics, Neoliberalism and New Technologies of Power</em>,</a> cultural theorist Byung- Chul Han discusses how this shift signals a creation of emotional consumption. We no longer buy a phone because it’s a good phone, but rather because the ad displays happy people surrounded by friends using that phone. </p>
<p>We are drawn to ads and marketing campaigns because <a href="https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/emotions-in-advertising-examples">of the way they make us feel</a> rather than the service they provide.</p>
<p>In a similar vein, social media platforms like Instagram, Tinder and Facebook hook us by “selling” us “likes,” matches and affirmation through numbers. Since likes and swipes take less than a second to perform, they target and rely on the reactive nature of emotion. </p>
<h2>The consumption of emotions</h2>
<p>Emotions then become a new commodity that we knowingly or unknowingly produce and are for sale to the highest bidder. This is known as emotional prosumption. </p>
<p>Emotional prosumption produces two consequences. First, due to the reactivity of emotions, our decision making can be swayed when the information we consume is emotionally charged. </p>
<p>As such, in 2016, the emotions of voters in the United States were taken advantage of and manipulated through <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-russia-linked-groups-used-facebook-to-meddle-in-2016-election/">specifically targeted ad campaigns</a>. Specifically, emotionally charged ads pertaining to <a href="https://www.wired.com/story/russian-facebook-ads-targeted-us-voters-before-2016-election/">immigration, gun laws and other political issues</a> were deliberate targeted at the U.S. electorate just days before the election. </p>
<p>Our emotional data can be sold to third parties without our permission. Likes, swipes and mood tracking logs can all be classified as emotional data and provide companies with information on how to promote products to us in ways that trigger the highest emotional response. </p>
<p>These abilities raise questions not only for data privacy, but also for advertising ethics. </p>
<p>The unregulated creation and consumption of emotional data is therefore problematic for two reasons: It places emphasis on “positive” emotions rather than a healthy spectrum, and it takes information about immaterial consumption without user knowledge. </p>
<p>The ethical implications of emotional prosumption may leave a lasting impact on how we advertise, how and what we consume, and what aspects of ourselves we are willing to alter in the never ending quest of personal optimization.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/131629/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Mood tracking apps are sophisticated tools that track, measure and improve our emotions. But doing so may make our emotional data vulnerable to interested third parties.Anna Sui, PhD Candidate, School of Health and Rehabilitation Sciences, Western UniversityDanica Facca, PhD student, Health Information Science, Western UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1208892019-08-22T20:06:29Z2019-08-22T20:06:29Z‘What is wrong with me? I’m never happy and I hate school’<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/285780/original/file-20190726-136781-3f52ps.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Remember, there is always someone to talk to about these things. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Wes Mountain</span></span></figcaption></figure><blockquote>
<p><em>Hi, I was just wondering if something’s wrong with me because I’m never happy and never want to do anything and I’m getting really lazy and I really hate school. Thanks - Anonymous</em></p>
</blockquote>
<hr>
<p>Everyone experiences down days at times. Feeling flat is a normal reaction to something upsetting happening, tiredness or just being stuck in a rut. Usually our low mood is short-lived and improves fairly quickly as we resolve a problem, catch up on sleep or move on to something else.</p>
<p>There’s a difference between temporarily feeling a bit down and what you’re describing. The fact you’re “never” happy and “never” want to do anything, suggests this is probably more than just a “rough patch”. Constantly feeling sad, struggling with motivation and lacking interest or pleasure in anything, are all symptoms often associated with depression. </p>
<p>Are you also struggling with sleep, eating more or less than usual, feeling exhausted or irritable or finding it hard to concentrate? These are other common features of depression.</p>
<h2>I feel low… all the time</h2>
<p><a href="https://headspace.org.au/assets/Uploads/Centres/Midland/Depression.pdf">Depression</a> is much more far reaching than regular sadness. Symptoms are persistent and interfere significantly with daily life. Depression affects how a person thinks, feels and acts. People with depression tend to have negative thoughts about themselves, the world and the future. They often feel helpless: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Nothing I do will improve the situation. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>And hopeless:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Things will never get better.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>There are things YOU can do to help</h2>
<p>While everything feels like a struggle now with your low energy levels and not liking school, why not try some of these things to help you move forward:</p>
<ul>
<li><p><a href="https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/%7E/media/CCI/Mental%20Health%20Professionals/Depression/Depression%20-%20Information%20Sheets/Depression%20Information%20Sheet%20-%2009%20-%20Analysing%20your%20Thinking.pdf">identify and challenge</a> any unhelpful thinking which may be contributing to how you’re feeling. When we’re down, we tend to interpret situations in a biased, <a href="https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/%7E/media/CCI/Mental%20Health%20Professionals/Depression/Depression%20-%20Information%20Sheets/Depression%20Information%20Sheet%20-%2008%20-%20Thinking%20and%20Feeling.pdf">negative way</a>. Work on developing more realistic, balanced thinking – this is <a href="https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/%7E/media/CCI/Mental%20Health%20Professionals/Depression/Depression%20-%20Information%20Sheets/Depression%20Information%20Sheet%20-%2010%20-%20Changing%20your%20Thinking.pdf">a helpful sheet</a> to aid you in doing just that </p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://thiswayup.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Module-3-Structured-Problem-Solving.pdf">take action to</a> to solve the problems affecting you. For example, if you’re hating school, identify specifically what you hate about it, brainstorm and evaluate possible solutions and implement the best ones</p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-behavioural-activation-for-depression-62910">plan daily activities</a>, no matter how small, that make you feel you’ve achieved something. Maybe start an assignment you’ve been putting of or simply have a bath</p></li>
<li><p>practice daily gratitude by thinking of <a href="https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things">three things</a> you were thankful for, and writing them down. Balance out life’s negatives, by identifying <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/313845439_'The_Three_Good_Things'_-_The_effects_of_gratitude_practice_on_wellbeing_A_randomised_controlled_trial">the things that went well</a> and the reasons why</p></li>
</ul>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=849&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=849&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=849&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1066&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1066&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286201/original/file-20190730-186819-1hadpxc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1066&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption"></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<ul>
<li>look after yourself physically! Work towards <a href="https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/physical-activity-helps-reduce-depression-symptoms">exercising regularly</a>, getting enough sleep and having a balanced diet.</li>
</ul>
<p>Practical strategies like these are used in the cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) approach to managing depression. CBT focuses on developing more helpful ways of thinking and behaving. <a href="https://moodgym.com.au/info/faq">Moodgym</a> is a great place to learn CBT techniques.</p>
<h2>There is ALWAYS someone to talk to</h2>
<p>During challenging times it’s important to speak up and reach out for support. Talk to a trusted adult, maybe a parent or teacher, about what’s happening. Consider contacting an online or telephone support service such as <a href="https://kidshelpline.com.au/">Kidshelpline</a> or <a href="https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/">e-headspace</a>. An open chat with your school counsellor may also be a good starting point.</p>
<p>A GP can help guide you too. You can find a doctor who bulk bills (so you don’t have to pay). ReachOut has a great web-page with some simple tips for finding the right doctor to talk to about this – <a href="https://au.reachout.com/articles/part-1-getting-yourself-a-mental-health-care-plan">you can find it here</a>. </p>
<p>If you are experiencing depression, the doctor may help you develop a mental health care plan which can give you up to ten Medicare-subsidised sessions with a private psychologist or clinical psychologist per year. </p>
<p>When you use a mental health care plan you, or your parents, will be charged the full amount for the psychology session, then the rebate will be refunded back into the bank account. It’s a good idea to ask what the appointment fees are before booking. Private psychologist rates can vary significantly, from bulk billing to A$300 an hour.</p>
<p>Depending on what is available in your area, a GP might recommend other support options such as:</p>
<ul>
<li>a group therapy program, which again might attract a different Medicare rebate level </li>
<li>counselling at a community health service which is usually free of charge</li>
</ul>
<p>Have a read <a href="https://au.reachout.com/articles/part-2-using-your-mental-health-care-plan">of this ReachOut page</a> to understand more, including how to find a psychologist who “gets” you. </p>
<p>For more ideas, check out <a href="https://au.reachout.com/">Reachout</a> and <a href="https://www.youthbeyondblue.com/">Youth Beyondblue.</a></p>
<h2>If you’d like to learn more, here are some helpful links</h2>
<ul>
<li><p><a href="https://oyh.org.au/sites/oyh.org.au/files/factsheets/OYH_Depression_youngpeople.pdf">Depression and Young People</a></p></li>
<li><p><a href="http://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/0790">A Guide to what works for depression in young people</a></p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://www.orygen.org.au/Education-Training/Resources-Training/Resources/Free/Clinical-Practice/Modifying-CBT">Modifying CBT for Depression in Young People</a></p></li>
</ul>
<p><em>If you or anyone you know needs help or is having suicidal thoughts, contact Lifeline on 131 114 or beyondblue on 1300 22 46 36.</em></p>
<hr>
<p>_The graphics in this article were updated on August 30. </p>
<hr><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/120889/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Louise Remond does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>There’s a difference between having low days and feeling bad all the time. The latter is a common feature of depression.Louise Remond, Clinical Psychologist, The Kidman Centre UTS, University of Technology SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1047462018-11-01T21:32:13Z2018-11-01T21:32:13ZPerfectionists more likely to develop bulimia: New research<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/243082/original/file-20181030-76411-1yobszz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Perfectionists are rarely satisfied with their performance or appearance and engage in harsh self-criticism when their efforts fall short. Perfectionists are also more likely to develop the eating disorder bulimia nervosa, according to new research.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Bulimia nervosa is a common and life-threatening eating disorder. About 275,000 Canadian girls and women will <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5757497/">have bulimia at some point in their lives</a>. They will <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bulimia/symptoms-causes/syc-20353615">eat large amounts of food, often secretly, and then prevent weight gain</a> by vomiting, fasting or exercise. </p>
<p>Most sufferers of bulimia are female. About two per cent of them die every decade. And around a fifth of those deaths about <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22644309">are due to suicide</a>. Uncovering the multiple factors leading to bulimia nervosa is therefore very important, especially as the causes are largely unknown.</p>
<p>As a professor in Dalhousie University’s department of psychology and neuroscience, <a href="https://www.dal.ca/faculty/science/psychology_neuroscience/faculty-staff/our-faculty/simon-sherry.html">I research personality traits and eating disorders</a>. As a clinical psychologist, I also assess and treat eating disorders and associated problems, including perfectionism.</p>
<p>My lab just published the most complete <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2018.09.022">research study</a> investigating the link between the personality trait of perfectionism and bulimia nervosa to date. Our results clearly show perfectionists have higher odds of developing bulimia and are at greater risk for developing the disease as time passes. </p>
<p>Building on this research, therapists may be able to improve treatments for some bulimic clients by focusing on their underlying perfectionism as well as their symptoms. </p>
<h2>Harsh self-criticism</h2>
<p>Perfectionism involves striving relentlessly for flawlessness and holding unrealistically high standards for oneself and others. </p>
<p>Perfectionists are rarely satisfied with their performance and <a href="https://www.guilford.com/books/Perfectionism/Hewitt-Flett-Mikail/9781462528721/authors">engage in harsh self-criticism when their efforts fall short of perfection</a>.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/243083/original/file-20181030-76390-1mx9e24.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Perfectionism is linked to relationship problems, disconnection and sadness.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p>To get a more comprehensive picture of whether perfectionism leads people to develop bulimia nervosa, we conducted a thorough literature search that identified 12 longitudinal studies involving a total of 4,665 participants. </p>
<p>We then analyzed results from these 12 studies using statistical means. Most of our participants were female (86.8 per cent) and included adolescents, undergraduates and adults from the community, with an average age of 19 years.</p>
<p>We showed perfectionism predicted increases in bulimia nervosa, even after controlling for baseline levels of the condition. This suggests perfectionists are at risk for developing more bulimia nervosa as time passes. </p>
<p>In fact, our results indicate perfectionism is centrally important to the personality of people who go on to develop bulimia.</p>
<p>Previous research has already shown that external pressure from family, friends and media can contribute to the disease by <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11835293">fostering a desire to attain an “ideal” weight and shape</a>. But the link between perfectionism and bulimia has never before been extensively explored.</p>
<h2>A dog-eat-dog world</h2>
<p>Perfectionism is linked with <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22353007">relationship problems and feeling sad</a>. Perfectionists may turn to food to cope with sadness brought on by their lack of connection to other people. </p>
<p>Symptoms of bulimia (e.g., binge eating) may also offer perfectionists a <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0037939">temporary escape from pressure and self-criticism</a>.</p>
<p>It’s a dog-eat-dog world today. We have controlling and hyper-competitive helicopter parents. And in society at large, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29283599">self-interest and winning are emphasized</a>. Rank and performance matter more than ever. These are conditions where perfectionism is likely to develop. So, we may see more and more perfectionism-linked cases of bulimia nervosa emerge.</p>
<p>Our results suggest treating perfectionism as early as possible may help to stop the development of bulimia nervosa. It is time to go beyond entirely symptom-focused treatments. Building on our research, clinicians may want to assess and to treat both bulimic symptoms (e.g., vomiting) and underlying perfectionism (e.g., self-criticism).</p>
<p>Bulimia nervosa usually <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16791852">lasts for more than eight years before symptoms go away</a>. About 25 per cent of people with the condition develop <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19884225">chronic, hard-to-treat symptoms that last for many years</a>. And <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6034764/">affected people often develop other problems</a> such as tooth decay and depression. </p>
<p>Clearly, more research is needed to understand and defeat this disease.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/104746/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Simon B. Sherry receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. He owns CRUX Psychology, a private practice in clinical psychology. </span></em></p>Perfectionists have a higher chance of developing bulimia nervosa. Rather than treating symptoms of binge eating and vomiting, therapists should address this underlying personality trait.Simon Sherry, Clinical Psychologist and Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Dalhousie UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1047102018-10-11T11:05:06Z2018-10-11T11:05:06ZShould you hide negative emotions from children?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/240032/original/file-20181010-72110-10jw05b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Sharing is good.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/portrait-one-sad-daughter-hugging-her-219155638?src=_7-muTeH3RKJqw-y7wjvlA-1-37">altanaka/Shuttestock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>From crying in the toilet to leaving the house in a rage, many parents and carers don’t want their children to see them getting emotional. But is this the right thing to do, or should you come clean about your fear of spiders or how angry you are with your boss? While the topic is complex, some clear answers are beginning to emerge from the research. </p>
<p>Many parents worry that showing negative emotions in front of their children will cause them to suffer. For instance, children may end up thinking it’s their fault or simply “catch” the emotion. Indeed, this latter worry has a sound basis – the phenomenon of “emotional contagion” is real, and one recent study found that parents <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1365-263X.2011.01200.x">can transfer their fear</a> of going to the dentist, for example, to their children. </p>
<p>On the other hand, there is the intuitive idea that we should “be real” with our children, and that they will benefit from watching a parent who struggles and eventually copes with their negative emotions like any other human being. If your child sees you doing that, then shouldn’t this help them to learn to cope with their own emotions?</p>
<h2>The danger of suppression</h2>
<p>There are three concepts to consider when it comes to emotional display in front of children: suppression, “uncontained” expression, and talking about emotions. Suppression of emotion is when you hide the outward signs of an emotion. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work very well – the act of suppressing your emotion actually <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1017/S0048577201393198">increases your blood pressure</a> and physiological arousal. Observers can pick up on your distress despite your efforts to hide it, <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.3.1.48">making them feel stressed, too</a>. Recent research has also found that when parents feel negative emotions (like anger or resentment) and withhold them from their children, they <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167216629122">experience lower relationship quality</a> and diminished responsiveness to their child’s needs.</p>
<p>In fact, even babies are very tuned in to the dynamics of their parent’s interaction with them. If you dampen down these natural dynamics, babies can find it upsetting. This is dramatically illustrated in the famous “still face” experiments, in which the parent holds a flat, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1996.tb01772.x">unresponsive expression</a> for a brief period of time. This is a reliable stress inducer, even for very young infants – they are clearly uncomfortable with an unexpressive parent and usually make attempts to get the parent to interact with them. </p>
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<p>On the other hand, “uncontained” expression of anger and sadness by the parent <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Nancy_Eisenberg/publication/232450482_Mother%27s_emotional_expressivity_and_children%27s_behavior_problems_and_social_competence_Mediation_through_children%27s_regulation/links/02e7e515b20ee62baf000000.pdf">is also not helpful</a> for the child. Uncontained means high intensity emotion, with no attempts to regulate or take ownership of it. Shouting, smashing things and blaming someone else “for making you angry” are all examples of this. In the case of a fear of the dentist, uncontained emotion would mean acting as though dental practices really are dangerous places, rather than saying “I know I have a fear and I am trying to cope with it”.</p>
<h2>Middle ground</h2>
<p>So, if at one extreme suppression is bad, and at the other uncontained expression is also bad, what is the middle ground? That would be talking about emotions, taking ownership of them and showing your child that you are trying to cope with them. Classic research found that six-year-olds <a href="http://web.simmons.edu/%7Eturnerg/Dunn%20et%20al%201991">had better emotional understanding</a> and perspective taking skills if their mothers had talked to them about their emotions at the age of three. In fact, the more the mothers had talked, the better the outcome.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/240035/original/file-20181010-72130-1cqnbcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">‘Tell me what’s going on…’</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Dragon Images/shutterstock</span></span>
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</figure>
<p>In another study, mothers <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1992-38774-001">kept a diary of the emotional expressions</a> they had shown their preschoolers, including details about how they coped with and explained these.
The children of mothers who expressed more sadness and tension had higher emotional knowledge, as assessed by their teachers. And in cases where mothers explained the reasons behind their sadness to their child, the child’s prosocial behaviour was found to be higher. This is most likely also the case for fathers, it is just that research on parenting <a href="https://theconversation.com/do-mothers-really-have-stronger-bonds-with-their-children-than-fathers-do-57590">has historically been carried out on mothers</a>. </p>
<p>But how can you actually achieve a balanced approach at home? Consider the following three options.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You are very sad and you have to leave the room to cry. Your child senses something is wrong but doesn’t know what it is.</p></li>
<li><p>You are so sad and you can’t stop crying in front of your child. </p></li>
<li><p>You are very sad and have a little cry, and tell your child that you are very tired and have had a bad day – and that it’s got nothing to do with them. You explain that you are going to sit down and relax and talk to your friend on the phone, and soon you will feel better.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Only the third scenario affords an opportunity for the child to learn about emotions and how to cope with them. Researchers refer to this as the parent acting as an “<a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Lynn_Katz/publication/232602696_Parental_Meta-Emotion_Philosophy_and_the_Emotional_Life_of_Families_Theoretical_Models_and_Preliminary_Data/links/54b5100f0cf2318f0f97179e.pdf">emotional coach</a>”. In this style of parenting, negative emotions are viewed as an opportunity for children to learn how to solve problems.</p>
<p>Clearly, parents shouldn’t hide emotions or completely unleash them without limits. Instead, they should openly talk about their emotions to their child, especially about the causes of their emotions and how they are trying to deal with them.</p>
<p>So the next time you feel sad, angry or frustrated and your child is watching you expressing emotion, do explain what’s going on in terms they can understand. You could be doing them a favour. It could also be good for you – children are wonderfully compassionate and will often offer some advice that will most likely put a smile on your face.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/104710/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>John Lambie has consulted with Skylark Learning on the educational toy My First Emotions. </span></em></p>Hiding feelings can cause distress in children too.John Lambie, Reader in Psychology, Anglia Ruskin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/945712018-04-19T21:56:00Z2018-04-19T21:56:00ZMental illness on campus really is ‘a thing’<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215481/original/file-20180418-163991-1ff8r57.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Most mental illnesses begin before or during young adulthood, and a quarter of young Canadians have both a mood or anxiety disorder and a substance-abuse problem</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Unlike his former classmates, Alex isn’t writing final exams right now, or searching for a summer job, or choosing electives for next year. Alex is no longer a student at all.</p>
<p>As an academic leader responsible for student affairs, I know that Alex (not the student’s real name) was diagnosed with a severe mental health condition soon after graduating high school. </p>
<p>According to a detailed letter from a clinical psychologist, the condition made it hard, if not impossible, for the then-19-year-old to get out of bed some days, to wash, to eat. To succeed in getting a degree and starting a professional career, Alex would need help. </p>
<p>Many people tried to help: Professors, advisers, counsellors and administrators massaged protocols, stretched the envelope of academic policies and accommodated extended absences from class. But time is a finite resource, and when it’s spent on one student, it’s unavailable to another. </p>
<p>In the end, Alex failed a few too many courses a few too many times and is now working a minimum-wage job. </p>
<p>A dreadful transcript and almost a decade of difficult life experience are the return on the time and money that this student invested with us. And, sadly, the story is far from unique.</p>
<h2>“Normal” life pathologized?</h2>
<p><em>Well, cry me a river</em>, some older and allegedly wiser fellow citizens seem to say. <em>We remember tough times, and they didn’t come with smartphones, deadline extensions and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3200/JACH.57.5.545-548">therapy dogs</a></em>. </p>
<p>From this point of view, most students who seek mental-health services and accommodations really just need a kick in the pants. As the <em>Globe and Mail</em> ’s resident <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Snowflake">snowflake</a>-melter, Margaret Wente scoffed: “<a href="https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/why-treat-university-students-like-fragile-flowers/article36292886/">You’re too depressed because of Grandma</a>, no problem. The disability office will provide you with <a href="https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/01/15/why-keep-mental-disability-a-secret-mallick.html">a private room and extra time to write your final</a>. Your professor never even needs to know.”</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215482/original/file-20180418-163982-1jbgax7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Stress is a normal part of human life; under the always-public gaze of social media, it can become debilitating.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p>Even scholarly lips sometimes curl reactively at <a href="https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2017/05/29/youth-mental-health-demand-is-exploding-how-universities-and-business-are-scrambling-to-react.html">reports of pressure faced by universities’ mental-health and intellectual-disability services</a>. </p>
<p>In a recent <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-my-child-depressed-being-moody-isnt-a-mental-illness-92789">article in <em>The Conversation</em></a>, Stanley Kutcher, the Sun Life Financial Chair in Adolescent Mental Health at Dalhousie University, noted that reports on student mental health challenges are often based upon students’ descriptions of their own symptoms, and that these reports are routinely followed by calls for “more pills, more therapy, more of everything, including more panic.” </p>
<p>Kutcher alleged that “many” health professionals are “pathologizing normal life” by failing to recognize that it’s healthy for young people to experience and report negative emotions.</p>
<p>He’s right, of course, that <a href="https://www.ipsos.com/sites/default/files/ct/news/documents/2017-11/Children%20and%20Youth%20Mental%20Health%20Survey%20Findings_FINAL_Nov.pdf">self-reported symptoms</a> do not, in themselves, demonstrate the incidence of illness. People sometimes misleadingly (but innocently) use clinical terms to describe negative feelings. </p>
<p>“Students might say they feel ‘depressed,’ when actually, they feel sad,” says Maura O’Keefe, clinical coordinator of Ryerson University’s Student Health and Well-being Services. </p>
<h2>A screentime generation</h2>
<p>One thing can, however, lead to another. <a href="http://news.berkeley.edu/2014/02/11/chronic-stress-predisposes-brain-to-mental-illness/">Mental and physical health challenges may be triggered or aggravated by chronic stress</a>, and just being young is stressful. </p>
<p>Stress, of course, is part of a healthy and productive life. However, adolescent stress has rapidly become more traumatic under the always-public gaze of social media. (Facebook was born in 2004, when today’s undergraduate was entering grade school.) </p>
<p>The damage of cyber-shaming is significantly greater and more enduring than the bullying experienced in pre-internet times, according to <a href="http://www.jeantwenge.com/">psychology professor Jean M. Twenge</a>, who has mined huge datasets about <a href="http://www.jeantwenge.com/igen-book-by-dr-jean-twenge/">the American generation that she calls iGen</a>. </p>
<p>The picture that emerges from her research is of a cohort that grows up slower, socializes less, sleeps less and whose capacity for happiness is inversely proportionate to screentime. (Equivalent Canadian studies are nonexistent but there’s no theoretical reason to hypothesize a stronger and freer northern cohort.) </p>
<p>And then as teens become 20-something and graduation looms, a big new stress emerges: Facing today’s uncertain, demanding and complex job market.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215484/original/file-20180418-163975-183c55y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">In one or two conversations, a trained counsellor can tease out mental illnesses from everyday emotional challenges.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Are all of these worried young people suicidal or psychotic? Of course not; most (significantly more than half) of the people we encounter on any given day are mentally healthy. But many are not. </p>
<p>One in five Canadians will be affected by mental illness during the course of a single year, according to a 2011 <a href="https://www.mentalhealthcommission.ca/sites/default/files/MHCC_Report_Base_Case_FINAL_ENG_0_0.pdf">report from the Mental Health Commission of Canada</a>, and 70 per cent of mental illnesses have their <a href="http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/human-humain06/pdf/human_face_e.pdf">onset either before or during post-secondary study</a>. </p>
<p>Diagnosed psychiatric conditions were reported by 7.6 per cent of the 25,600 Ontario community college students who participated in the <a href="http://oucha.ca/pdf/2016_NCHA-II_WEB_SPRING_2016_ONTARIO_CANADA_REFERENCE_GROUP_EXECUTIVE_SUMMARY.pdf">2016 National College Health Assessment</a>, with <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0829573515601396">demonstrated damage to academic performance</a>.</p>
<p>Of Canadians aged 15-24, about a quarter had both a mood or anxiety disorder and a substance-abuse problem, according to a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19087478">2008 study in the <em>Canadian Journal of Psychiatry</em></a>. </p>
<p>True, diagnostic data <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-47526-004">fails to match</a> impressions among counsellors in the United States that they are seeing more severe mental-health conditions. But <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2007-14485-013">this disparity</a> may be linked to higher demand for services and growing complexity of diagnoses. Either way, no one doubts that university students are at <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00050067.2010.482109">high risk for mental illness</a>. </p>
<p>Today’s students seem more willing than yesteryears’ to talk about distress and mental health in general terms (“I feel sad”) but the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25270007">stigma attached to scary symptoms</a> (“I hear voices”) has by no means disappeared. </p>
<h2>Campus supports</h2>
<p>Meanwhile, clinicians have become increasingly aware that symptoms of relatively minor mood issues may mask <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/87568225.2013.824326">personality disorders</a> and <a href="https://bpspubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1476-5381.2010.00721.x">psychosis</a>, which, again, are most likely to show up by the early 20s, and are often accompanied and complicated by substance abuse. </p>
<p>Identified and treated early, even those scary diagnoses can be followed by <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3158489/">years of productive and symptom-free life</a>.</p>
<p>For these reasons and more, mental illness among young people may well be receiving more media attention these days than in past decades, but this doesn’t make it any less “a thing.” </p>
<p>Nor is it a small thing: Thankfully, not all untreated mental illness ends in tragedy, but no parent or educator needs a reminder that <a href="http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/82-624-x/2012001/article/11696-eng.htm">accidents and suicide are the two leading killers of young people</a>, and each of these is <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/suicide-as-an-outcome-for-mental-disorders/1AAE5E8FEDA89A87A68EF082A783FEEE">linked decisively to mental illness</a>, <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-05238-005">substance abuse</a> or both. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/215487/original/file-20180418-163978-1yvkat7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Today’s uncertain job market can be a huge stressor for graduating students.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Compared to death, the other potential consequences of mental illness may seem trivial. But a few lost classes can quickly add up to a lost year, a cycle of discouragement and a prematurely ended academic career. </p>
<p>Someone showing <a href="https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Know-the-Warning-Signs">symptoms of illness</a> should be able to check in with a professional quickly, which is the beauty of a properly resourced and well-managed counselling centre. </p>
<p>Some students might be treated on campus with psychotherapy, others referred out to community health-care, others taught (individually or in workshops) <a href="https://www.ryerson.ca/news-events/news/2017/09/a-new-way-to-help-students-thrive/">new tactics</a> for tolerating sadness, fear and the after-effects of trauma.</p>
<p>While many institutions have <a href="https://uwaterloo.ca/stories/mental-health-review-results-increased-support-students">expanded</a> or <a href="https://www.thespec.com/news-story/5448559-mac-overhauls-its-mental-health-services/">overhauled</a> mental health services, <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0706743716640752">demand generally exceeds the supply</a>. As a result, waiting times for on-campus services can be long, and students’ health insurance plans <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-19014-007">seldom pay enough</a> to cover psychotherapy in the community.</p>
<p>But for those who do get help, the benefits can be dramatic. I have been a professor for 17 years, and long ago lost count of the formerly struggling students who have shaken my hand in hallways, or on graduation stages, to thank me for connecting them to the counselling office. </p>
<p>Turns out it wasn’t a kick in the pants they needed, after all. Just a chance to get acquainted with strengths they didn’t know they had.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/94571/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ivor Shapiro does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Today’s students are at increasingly high risk for mental health diagnoses. Universities need to step up.Ivor Shapiro, Associate Dean (Undergraduate Education & Student Affairs), Faculty of Communication & Design, Toronto Metropolitan UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/882472017-11-30T03:59:37Z2017-11-30T03:59:37ZDo different drinks make you different drunk?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197060/original/file-20171130-12027-p1jnjn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A recent study found people link different alcohol types to different emotional states.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/gj6THKvbm10">Photo by Mattias Diesel on Unsplash</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/av/health-42072497/how-different-drinks-alter-your-mood">Reports of a study</a> linking different kinds of alcoholic drinks with different mood states were making the rounds recently. The <a href="http://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/7/10/e016089">research used</a> 30,000 survey responses from the <a href="http://www.globaldrugsurvey.com">Global Drug Survey</a> and found that people attached different emotions to different alcoholic drinks. </p>
<p>For instance, more respondents reported feeling aggressive when drinking spirits than when drinking wine. </p>
<p>We all have friends who swear they feel differently when drinking different types of alcohol. But can different drinks really influence your mood in different ways?</p>
<h2>Alcohol is alcohol</h2>
<p>Let’s cut to the chase. No matter what the drink, the active ingredient is the same: ethanol. </p>
<p>When you have a drink, ethanol enters the bloodstream through the stomach and small intestine and is then processed in the liver. The liver can process only a limited amount of alcohol at a time so any excess remains in the blood and travels to other organs, including your brain where mood is regulated.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197063/original/file-20171130-12072-1gzk6hv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Many people think drinking spirits makes them more aggressive.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/dmkmrNptMpw">Photo by Adam Jaime on Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The direct effects of alcohol are the same whether you drink wine, beer or spirits. There’s no evidence that different types of alcohol cause different mood states. People aren’t even very good at recognising their <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/2167702616689780?journalCode=cpxa">mood states</a> when they have been drinking.</p>
<p>So where does the myth come from?</p>
<h2>Grape expectations</h2>
<p>Scientists have studied specific <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2965491/">alcohol-related beliefs</a> called “expectancies”. If you believe a particular type of drink makes you angry, sad or sexed up, then it is more likely to.</p>
<p>We develop expectancies from a number of sources, including our own and others’ experiences. If wine makes you relaxed, it’s probably because you usually sip it slowly in a calm and relaxed atmosphere. If tequila makes you crazy, maybe it’s because you usually drink it in shots, which is bound to be on a wild night out.</p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=836&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=836&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=836&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1051&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1051&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197064/original/file-20171130-12069-sihxwq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1051&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">You might think wine is relaxing because you usually drink it in a relaxing atmosphere.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/asGtWUdJe2U">Photo by Willian West on Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Or if you regularly saw your parents sitting around on a Sunday afternoon with their friends and a few beers, you might expect beer to make you more sociable. Kids as young as six have been <a href="http://www.jsad.com/doi/abs/10.15288/jsa.1990.51.343">found to have expectancies</a> about alcohol, well before any experience of drinking.</p>
<p>We build conscious and unconscious associations between alcohol and our emotions every time we drink or see someone else drinking.</p>
<p>We could even be influenced by music and art. “Tequila makes me crazy” is a common belief, which also happens to be a line in a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8XkLrErSHw">Kenny Chesney</a> song, and Billy Joel’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0">Piano Man</a> might reinforce the idea that gin makes you melancholy.</p>
<h2>It’s the ‘how’ more than the ‘what’</h2>
<p>Other chemicals, called congeners, can be produced in the process of making alcohol. Different drinks produce different congeners. Some argue these could have different effects on mood, but the only real effect of these chemicals is on the taste and smell of a beverage. They can also contribute to a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20712591">cracker of a hangover</a>.</p>
<p>But there is no evidence that these congeners produce specific mood or behavioural effects while you are drinking.</p>
<p>The critical factor in the physical and psychological effects you experience when drinking really comes down to how you drink rather than what you drink. Different drinks have different alcohol content and the more alcohol you ingest – and the faster you ingest it – the stronger the effects.</p>
<p>Spirits have a higher concentration of alcohol (40%) than beer (5%) or wine (12%) and are often downed quickly, either in shots or with a sweet mixer. This rapidly increases blood alcohol concentration, and therefore alcohol’s effects, including changes in mood.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=622&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=622&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=622&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=782&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=782&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197065/original/file-20171130-12040-1lzjx90.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=782&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Spirits are higher in alcohol than beer, and are usually drunk much more quickly.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/MxfcoxycH_Y">Photo by Michael Discenza on Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The same goes for mixing drinks. You might have heard the saying “Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you’re in the clear”, but again it’s the amount of alcohol that might get you into trouble rather than mixing different types. </p>
<p>Mixing a stimulant (like an energy drink) with alcohol can also mask how intoxicated you feel, allowing you to drink more.</p>
<p>You can reduce the risk of extreme mood changes by drinking slowly, eating food before and while you drink, and spacing alcoholic drinks with water, juice or soft drink. Stick to drinking within the Australian <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/health-topics/alcohol-guidelines">alcohol guidelines</a> of no more than four standard drinks on a single occasion.</p>
<h2>Party animals and bad eggs</h2>
<p>Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, which means it slows the brain’s functioning. Alcohol’s effects include reducing activity in the part of the brain that regulates thinking, reasoning and decision-making, known as the <a href="http://universe-review.ca/I10-80-prefrontal.jpg">prefrontal cortex</a>. Alcohol also decreases inhibitions and our ability to regulate emotions.</p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=800&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/197067/original/file-20171130-12069-ho1337.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1005&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The effect of alcohol depends on many factors, including where you’re drinking it and how you’re feeling at the time.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/mY4VrLwciQk">Photo by Cassiano Barletta on Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>“In vino veritas” (in wine there is truth) is a saying that suggests that when drinking we are more likely to reveal our true selves. While that’s not completely accurate, the changes in mood when someone is drinking often reflect underlying personal styles that become less regulated with alcohol on board.</p>
<p>Studies of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2791902/">aggression and alcohol</a>, for example, show that people who are normally irritable, cranky or low in empathy when they are not drinking are more likely to be aggressive when their inhibitions are lowered while drinking.</p>
<p>As with all drugs, the effect alcohol has on your mood is a combination of the alcohol itself, where you are drinking it and how you’re feeling at the time.</p>
<p>So does alcohol make you crazy, mean or sad? If it does, you were probably a bit that way inclined already, and if you believe it enough it may just come true.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/88247/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nicole Lee works as a paid consultant in the public, private and not for profit alcohol and other drug sector and to commonwealth and state governments. She has previously been awarded grants by the state and federal government, NHMRC and other public funding bodies for alcohol and other drug research.</span></em></p>Some people believe different drinks make them feel differently. But the effect alcohol has on your mood depends on factors like where you are drinking it and how you’re feeling at the time.Nicole Lee, Professor at the National Drug Research Institute, Curtin UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/843612017-11-07T19:26:02Z2017-11-07T19:26:02ZCurious Kids: Why do tears come out of our eyes when we cry?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/190343/original/file-20171016-21977-1jxc9tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Scientists aren't sure exactly why we cry when we are sad.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/helixblue/872257039/in/photolist-2k5xCt-aAJ4nb-kLQG2W-5JUpv3-37unHR-7dW639-7b5GFB-7WW1ZX-bT3J9r-4tAq1X-zUTS5-kLPp1H-F4KxL-qM8985-bmAxe7-ShU7EV-qM9xvN-258JdH-2fqC2-5Znzf9-8jrK7k-5noCrg-WATzHX-6fNBBp-5ewdzM-2FsBx-ehNodt-6eivSR-dkmCqL-YWjX2S-bXDQyu-6wwyHb-XPF5pg-6fSH17-piKCas-4PzGU8-5CpTsA-MWkb-6wwyA8-4RNFq8-6sTRUi-9grCLB-C2HEmf-wXQFV-ayojeZ-9B8coK-FGrKUH-3dzk5w-7jmny8-6eSAJu">Thomas Stromberg/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>This is an article from <a href="https://theconversation.com/au/topics/curious-kids-36782">Curious Kids</a>, a series for children. The Conversation is asking kids to send in questions they’d like an expert to answer. All questions are welcome – serious, weird or wacky!</em> </p>
<hr>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Why do tears come out of our eyes when we cry? – Grace, age 9, Melbourne</strong> </p>
</blockquote>
<hr>
<p>Hi Grace, thank you for a great question.</p>
<p>We cry, or make tears, <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1542012412702963">for three reasons</a>. First, we need tears to keep our eye healthy, so you can say that our eyes cry a little bit all through the day. These types of tears usually don’t come out of our eyes. </p>
<p>Tears do come out of our eyes when we are emotional – either very sad or happy – or when our eyes are irritated by something, like a bit of dust that gets into our eyes or when we cut an onion.</p>
<p>Tears are needed for our eyes to work properly. Your eye has special parts – called glands – that make tears all day. Normally they only produce a tiny amount of tears – less than half a teaspoon per day. Tears are mostly water and a little bit of salt, but they also have some oil, mucus and chemicals called enzymes that kill germs. </p>
<p>A small amount of oil in tears stops them from evaporating or leaking out of our eyes. If we didn’t have oil in our tears, it would make our eyes really dry and sore.</p>
<p>When you blink, the eyelid spreads the tears around your eye and mucus helps the tears stick to the eyeball. Any tears left over drain through a special drainage system that goes through to your nose.</p>
<p>When we cry – and I hope you don’t cry too often – we make more tears than the eye can hold. This is because the largest tear gland can switch on and produce a lot of tears at once, just like a little fountain.</p>
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<p><strong><em>Read more: <a href="https://theconversation.com/curious-kids-how-can-you-tell-if-your-cat-is-happy-and-likes-you-82834">Curious Kids: How can you tell if your cat is happy and likes you?</a></em></strong></p>
<hr>
<p>The part of the brain that switches on the “tear fountain” receives signals from the part of your brain that controls your emotions.</p>
<p>When this happens, the eye can produce more than half a cup of tears in minutes. This is way too much for the eye to hold and our drainage system goes to work. Remember that this drainage system goes to our noses? That’s why when you cry you may notice your nose starts running. These are these extra tears. </p>
<p>If you cry really hard, then there are far too many tears even for that drainage system to remove, so the tears start falling out of our eyes.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=413&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=413&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=413&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=519&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=519&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189929/original/file-20171012-9802-1pp9uf0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=519&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">According to psychologists, only humans cry as an emotional response.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/ttrimm/14154666585/in/photolist-nyNneB-asE2ra-daVfVf-83ut3f-dKXXSo-daVanz-9fCro2-nDEYGF-8rzR2z-daVqWT-A7gVL-daVDKS-5Z6nJQ-6RrQHj-ahUBL1-XwnkPm-83yTZz-7Z9fpp-b9zUhV-4a1sKB-x3hee-GKMDS-8AQs4v-3TysAJ-7JoUxK-daVAk1-vT1ws3-4Uekg2-cyVNAb-JmGemL-5HcMYf-8AQsji-54SDJP-akutKb-593fSs-d9RBr2-8ATxEj-aWqfhp-a3rtco-czF9bG-6fWY3D-bwGSom-hGCxnL-hGD3tj-tqW2a-gGKw3d-7zFbH7-amv7Lj-nYpAAZ-9qSage">Teresa Trimm/flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>Psychologists believe that crying because of emotions is something only humans do. Most of us cry sometimes because we are really sad. Some of us also cry when we are happy.</p>
<p>We haven’t figured out exactly why we cry when we are emotional, but we do know that the chemicals found in emotional tears are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7294117">different to normal tears</a>. Some scientists believe that these chemicals <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Crying.html?id=TeJqAAAAMAAJ&redir_esc=y">may help us feel better after we cry</a>. </p>
<hr>
<p><strong><em>Read more: <a href="https://theconversation.com/curious-kids-do-bees-ever-accidentally-sting-other-bees-82818">Curious Kids: Do bees ever accidentally sting other bees?</a></em></strong></p>
<hr>
<p>There are also some strange conditions that can make people cry. Some people cry when they eat or even just think about food. This is called <a href="https://www.nature.com/eye/journal/v16/n6/full/6700230a.html">“crocodile tears syndrome”</a>. It is named <a href="http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/01/can-crocodiles-really-cry/">after a legend</a> that said crocodiles pretend to cry to trick their prey into coming closer to them. </p>
<p>Crocodile tears syndrome may happen after someone has been in an accident and broken some bones in their face. As the face heals, some body parts called nerves repair themselves in the wrong way. Nerves that made your mouth water when you smell good food get mistakenly connected to the tear gland instead. Afterwards when that person eats or smells something delicious that makes their mouth water, they start to cry.</p>
<hr>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=376&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=376&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=376&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=472&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=472&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/165749/original/image-20170419-32713-1kyojyz.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=472&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="attribution"><a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span>
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<p><em>Please tell us your name, age and which city you live in. You can send an audio recording of your question too, if you want. Send as many questions as you like! We won’t be able to answer every question but we will do our best.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/84361/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Michelle Moscova does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Whether we’re happy or sad, it doesn’t take much to turn on the waterworks. But how and why do humans cry?Michelle Moscova, Senior Lecturer in Anatomy, UNSW SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/755932017-10-09T23:42:06Z2017-10-09T23:42:06ZHow the stoicism of Roman philosophers can help us deal with depression<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189210/original/file-20171006-25772-1uz37na.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The statue of Marcus Aurelius Piazza del Campidoglio in Rome.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffd/79900576/in/photolist-84vE9-aaMVPn-nZCjjs-8m2kK8-nfBNed-GmWNKE-paZLDc-4TavMg-bW6buV-j1xiuN-6G6oyC-8c9fkp-Jmxar2-nvFF2f-eSWTiv-e8GDgQ-8TJQ3V-25WrfM-7sk448-4pez75-dqc9pW-fPG6s-fczxWL-fesjaW-eaN9th-a6W9yL-njyzY8-qcykA9-8cagXp-GmWPFC-7hwScp-3bg9x4-j1wB3f-8gqzfE-8LV5UU-7hAPas-sGqpU-68pRMc-5nquBt-dV9uiv-9RoMR6-dwmSex-ohwuYo-j1wrHn-9TW7Jz-j1z4uS-2JQuy-j1ynbA-aAyL1b-JieG9">Jeff</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Depression is on the rise. A study conducted by the World Health Organization found <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/mar/31/depression-is-leading-cause-of-disability-worldwide-says-who-study">an increase of 20 percent</a> in depression cases within just a decade.</p>
<p>I work on a university campus. One might expect such a place to feel vibrant and energetic, but lately there seems to be more fatigue and malaise. Even for me, on some days it can feel hard to face the world. </p>
<p>As a scholar of ancient philosophy and a practicing <a href="http://modernstoicism.com/">stoic</a>, I have found great solace in the works of Roman stoic philosophers such as <a href="http://www.iep.utm.edu/marcus/">Marcus Aurelius</a>, emperor of Rome, and <a href="http://www.iep.utm.edu/epictetu/">Epictetus</a>, teacher of Stoic philosophy and a former slave. </p>
<p>What tools do these ancient thinkers offer to deal with depression? </p>
<p>Of course, I must add here that clinical depression, which is a serious health issue and should be treated by a professional, is a different matter than the sort of ordinary depression and fatigue that most of us might feel from time to time.</p>
<h2>What is stoicism?</h2>
<p>Stoicism is based on the idea that the goal of life is to live in agreement with nature. Nature itself is defined as whole of the cosmos, including our fellow human beings. </p>
<p>Epictetus, whose school of Stoicism flourished in the second century A.D., <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html">tells us</a> how to pursue this idea. He says, “some things are under our control and some things aren’t under our control.” And, if something is not under our control, it is not worth expending energy on.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189212/original/file-20171006-25752-1cchn2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/scrc/26407841620/in/photolist-5wFPY-5Sq6EH-5RMg8F-7sk448-5qhUpF-dPti48-VyRttQ-XZJCTe-Gez6h9">W&M Libraries</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/">CC BY-NC-ND</a></span>
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<p>Nonetheless, there were days, even for these thinkers, when they found it hard to carry on with their duties. Marcus Aurelius, who, as emperor of the Roman Empire from A.D. 161-180, was the most powerful man in the world, makes clear in one of the passages of his “Meditations,” that he is struggling to get out of bed. So, he <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.5.five.html">tells himself</a>, </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“I am rising to do the work of a human being. Why, then, am I so irritable if I am going out to do what I was born to do and what I was brought into this world for? Or was I created for this, to lie in bed and warm myself under the bedclothes?” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>He also acknowledges how this exhortation may or may not be effective some days. So, even if he drags himself into the world, Marcus highlights <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.2.two.html">what he may face</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“Say to yourself at the start of the day, I shall meet with meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable people.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>While this observation may seem not very helpful, insofar as it focuses the attention on all these negative possibilities and hardships, there is a very important stoic point here. One could ask, why would reminding oneself of hardships be beneficial?</p>
<h2>Meeting the world on stoic terms</h2>
<p>Stoic philosopher Epictetus provides an answer – it can help us anticipate possibilities and prepare us for what may come. He <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html">says</a> in the “Enchiridion”:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“When you are about to undertake some action, remind yourself what sort of action it is. If you are going out for a bath, put before your mind what happens at baths – there are people who splash, people who jostle, people who are insulting, people who steal. And you will undertake the action more securely if from the start you say of it, ‘I want to take a bath and to keep my choices in accord with nature’; and likewise for each action.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Epictetus’ example of the Roman bath could be adapted to a contemporary context by considering the sort of things that might happen at work, while commuting, or at home. </p>
<p>Epictetus is telling us to be prepared to face situations with a realistic attitude toward what things are really like. </p>
<p>Marcus Aurelius provides <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.2.two.html">more specific guidelines</a> on how to respond.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“I, then, can neither be harmed by these people, nor become angry with one who is akin to me, nor can I hate him, for we have come into being to work together, like feet, hands, eyelids, or the two rows of teeth in our upper and lower jaws. To work against one another is therefore contrary to nature; and to be angry with another person and turn away from him is surely to work against him.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>In all this, what these philosophers are reminding us is that to live in accord with nature is to recognize that even the most difficult of those we might run into in the course of a day could be someone like us – someone perhaps struggling with their own malaise or malady. </p>
<p>Upon recognizing this, it is easier to be forgiving of those we disagree with. But more than that, perhaps, it makes it easier to be more forgiving of ourselves. It helps us recognize an important piece of suffering and of being human. </p>
<h2>Suffering and its solution</h2>
<p>This idea is echoed when <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html">Epictetus explains</a> the source of human suffering:</p>
<p>“What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about the things.” </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=760&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=760&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=760&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=956&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=956&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/189214/original/file-20171006-973-1pcvxm1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=956&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Epictetus.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Epictetus.jpg#file">Wikimedia Commons</a></span>
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<p>Being upset about something is not a function of the thing that seems upsetting; rather, it is the judgment about that thing that causes the distress. </p>
<p>Judgments, not external things or events, are the source of human suffering.</p>
<p>The remedy to all this, according to Epictetus, is really just a shift in attitude toward the things that happen. When we can face the day, with full acknowledgment of what that day might entail, and recognize that still we must go on, we can move forward. </p>
<p>That may mean letting go of the conception of how things ought to be, and accept them for what they are, even the most frustrating and depressing. </p>
<p>Then, “the work of a human being” might not seem so daunting.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/75593/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Robert S. Colter does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>A philosopher explains how to learn from the stoicism of Roman philosophers to cope with present-day troubles.Robert S. Colter, Associate Lecturer, Philosophy, University of WyomingLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/852992017-10-06T22:52:06Z2017-10-06T22:52:06ZThe ‘inevitable sadness’ of Kazuo Ishiguro’s fiction<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/189199/original/file-20171006-25784-1ghvr4m.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">British novelist Kazuo Ishiguro listens to a question during a press conference at his home in London on Oct. 5, 2017.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Britain-Nobel-Literature/922e06cc4c894917bcd41a453328e0a3/14/0">Alastair Grant/AP Photo</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>On a damp October day in 2006, I followed Kazuo Ishiguro and my 10-year-old daughter Grace to a back table at a bustling cafe in London for an interview. As Ishiguro answered my questions, he explained how he “auditions” his characters’ voices and personalities in his head before they appear in his fiction. He spoke candidly about a writer’s messy work.</p>
<p>Now he is the laureate for the Nobel Prize in literature, for what the Swedish Academy praised as his unapologetic portrayals of “the abyss beneath our illusory sense of connection with the world.” </p>
<p>It’s a nod to the self-delusion that many of Ishiguro’s characters possess. One, for example, rationalizes his service to a fascist loyalist. Others see their past through the cloudy lens of trauma. If we were to peel back the warped self-deception, we might find a bottomless pit of despair. </p>
<p>At that interview years ago, Ishiguro talked about his characters’ painful chasms, the way they protected themselves by concealing their mistakes. But when everything seems hopeless, his characters often courageously turn to their imagination to forge a connection to life and meaning. </p>
<p>In doing so, they beckon readers to imagine something better, too.</p>
<p>When I asked Ishiguro about his 2005 dystopic novel “<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/1003852733">Never Let Me Go</a>,” his tone shifted. He lowered his voice when he told me about the students in that novel, and how they eventually perish. But he was surprised when I said that I found the novel sorrowful.</p>
<p>“There is an inevitable sadness,” he admitted. “On the other hand, it’s not a bleak view of human nature.” </p>
<p>I could sense Ishiguro’s concern for how my daughter might take his observations about death and despair. </p>
<p>He continued: “The question, ‘What are we useful for?’ is the question that your daughter Grace asks, and one Tommy and Kathy ask in ‘Never Let Me Go.’ Some cold system says to Tommy and Kathy that they will be useful [to the world], and it’s the same as another system saying to Grace that someday she will be useful to the world economy.”</p>
<p>Human systems figure in all of Ishiguro’s novels, whether these are governments, communities or families. Often, these systems are damaged, and humans still must move through them. They try to repair them or save themselves. Ishiguro has examined many facets of what it means to live among and within countless systems. </p>
<p>The first-person narrators of Ishiguro’s first three novels, “<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/758853238">A Pale View of Hills</a>,” “<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/930830001">An Artist of the Floating World</a>” and “<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/938658779">The Remains of the Day</a>,” reflect on personal losses in the context of world events: friends and families dead from atomic bombings in Japan, unrealized romances, wrong choices and lives founded on delusion. These characters long for clarity, retribution or forgiveness.</p>
<p>The narrators of his next three novels are, variously, a pianist (“<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/902919677">The Unconsoled</a>”), a London detective (“<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/957162505">When We Were Orphans</a>”) and a roving hospice-type worker (“Never Let Me Go”). Whether they’re situated in Japan, Great Britain, some unnamed European city or even a medieval village, Ishiguro’s characters beguile his readers with their disclosures. His eloquent prose expresses their anguish or their repressed longings. We sense time passing darkly for these characters. We see how they face disappointments and ache for dignity. </p>
<p>Ishiguro explained that to probe the emotional force of his novels, we must understand that the characters are set within “an internal world [and] it’s an emotional logic that is being played out.” </p>
<p>In narrating their sorrows and their fruitless optimism, Ishiguro gives his readers a way to empathize with his characters’ situations. </p>
<p>Ishiguro’s capacity for compassion was cultivated during his university gap year, when he worked with the homeless. He also studied piano and guitar and dreamed of a career in music before he detoured to the creative writing program at the University of East Anglia. He still writes musical lyrics and works with musicians as an avocation. </p>
<p>By his own admission, Ishiguro is a slow writer; he produces a novel every few years. In 2015, when he came to Denver’s Lighthouse Writers Workshop to promote his latest novel, I was able to catch up with him. He remarked that he may have only a couple more books forthcoming. </p>
<p>“We’re not immortal,” he said. “We’re here for a limited time. There is a countdown.” </p>
<p>The Swedish Academy honors a laureate for a lifetime of achievement. To date, Ishiguro has published eight books as well as many short stories, television and film scripts. His career may seem disjointed when focusing on only the best-known novels, “The Remains of the Day” and “Never Let Me Go.” </p>
<p>But few contemporary authors have dared to take as many risks as Ishiguro. The more complicated, Kafka-esque novel “The Unconsoled” is a book some critics <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2015/jan/27/kazuo-ishiguro-reading-group">called disappointing</a>. A different sort of writer might have quit, but Ishiguro persisted.</p>
<p>Similarly, even though some readers responded coolly to “<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/944075352">The Buried Giant</a>,” Ishiguro had taken yet another <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/01/books/review/kazuo-ishiguros-the-buried-giant.html?_r=0">literary leap</a>: The highly metaphorical story is set in an early English era that predated historical records. Memory, repression of pain and the resolve to protect oneself and loved ones return as themes, but in unusual, allegorical ways.</p>
<p>Each novel is a singular achievement; each successive undertaking enriches a broader canvas of Ishiguro’s portraits of alienated lives. </p>
<p>During that 2006 London interview, I watched Ishiguro banter with my daughter during a break. They were laughing about what it means to “snarf” food, and they were picking up some biscuits and spooning melted ice cream to demonstrate. Ishiguro’s ease and humor when speaking with my child captivated me.</p>
<p>In spite of the sadness in his books, Ishiguro is a gracious guardian of humanity. He is a fine curator of emotions and a skilled storyteller. </p>
<p>We don’t know how many more books Ishiguro will publish. But we can be certain that in his literary explorations, he will remain undaunted.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/85299/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Cynthia F. Wong does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>After learning of Ishiguro’s Nobel win, a literature professor recalls her 2006 interview with the writer in a London cafe.Cynthia F. Wong, Professor of English, University of Colorado DenverLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/788722017-06-07T01:32:45Z2017-06-07T01:32:45ZWhy restoring morale is important to mental health in difficult times<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/188608/original/file-20171003-3782-bmt30s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Rosa and Alan Duarte at a vigil Oct. 2, 2017 in Las Vegas for the victims of the Las Vegas shootings. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/APTOPIX-Las-Vegas-Shooting/342b0453c86341f4955ea99682b1f3f8/6/0">AP Photo/Gregory Bull</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The term <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0010440X82900852">demoralization</a> was originally coined in the 1970s by a psychiatrist who was seeing patients that didn’t quite meet full criteria for major depression. Nonetheless, they were suffering – in a shared state of emotional distress and sense of incompetence.</p>
<p>For many Americans, we are experiencing this now in the wake of the Oct. 1 massacre in Las Vegas, one of the worst mass shootings in our nation’s history. These horrific events break our hearts and, some days, come close to breaking our spirits. We feel discouragement, confusion and uncertainty mixed with collective impotence. </p>
<p>As a clinical psychologist and associate professor at Yale School of Medicine, I’m concerned about our collective mental health. I know that the effects of these tragedies affect us all, at least in some small or significant way. I also believe that there are some steps to take to help us heal.</p>
<h2>Effects of demoralization</h2>
<p>Numerous studies have shown the negative effects of demoralization on individuals with life-threatening medical diseases <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26411374">like cancer </a> and acute coronary heart disease, or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21208590">heart transplant</a> recipients. In these populations and others, <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/demoralization-a-systematic-review-on-its-clinical-characterization/0DB99222CA33847EAEDA80779E8F44D8">demoralization was highly related to adverse health outcomes</a>. Those who felt deeply disheartened and incapable of doing anything about it had more physical, psychological and social impairments.</p>
<p>But our current sense of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12406115">disempowerment and despair</a> threatens not just the integrity of our individual body and mind. Collective demoralization impacts our relationships, sense of community and willingness to work together to engage in much-needed restoration. Our social fabric is torn. We’re disconnected and mistrustful. And the current situation looks grim.</p>
<p>But restoring morale and hope is essential in rebuilding and recovery of our great nation.</p>
<h2>Evidence-informed principles could help</h2>
<p>When morale and hopes are raised, people adopt a more <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25122128">problem-solving approach</a>. That makes sense. We don’t put in the effort unless we think we can effect positive change.</p>
<p>One way to promote a sense of morale and a return to reasonable confidence is to look to our commonalities and build upon them. We need reassurance that we care for one another, are part of the same team and are on an equal plane. We need to problem-solve together – sanely, respectfully, allowing our voices to be heard and honoring each others’ perspectives.</p>
<p>As a trauma psychologist, I know that there are things that can be done to stimulate hope and things that inhibit it in the aftermath of community trauma. There are sound evidence-informed principles that help people recover post-disaster or post-terrorism. Maybe we can apply these principles to current difficult times.</p>
<p>A number of years ago, the <a href="http://www.nctsn.org/about-us/national-center">National Child Traumatic Stress Network</a> and the Department of Veterans Affairs’ <a href="https://www.ptsd.va.gov/">National Center for PTSD</a> built an approach called Psychological First Aid to help children, adolescents, adults and families in the aftermath of trauma regain their <a href="http://www.nctsn.org/content/psychological-first-aid">emotional equilibrium</a>. The method is built around <a href="http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/pfa_walletcard.pdf">eight core concepts</a> whose titles are fairly self-explanatory:</p>
<ul>
<li>Contact and engagement</li>
<li>Safety and comfort</li>
<li>Stabilization</li>
<li>Information gathering</li>
<li>Current needs and concerns</li>
<li>Practical assistance</li>
<li>Connection with social supports</li>
<li>Information on coping and linkage with collaborative services</li>
</ul>
<p>It might be beneficial for us to think of and use Psychological First Aid as part of a national therapy program, of sorts. These times seem so challenging for so many, and to some (like myself) even mentally toxic. </p>
<p>Rather than staying in our heads with all the negativity and fears, we reach out and connect to others and engage in issues that are important to us. </p>
<p>For example, you may be terribly distressed that the oldest and largest national organization supporting community-based senior nutrition programs across the country, <a href="http://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/">Meals on Wheels</a>, is facing serious cuts in President Trump’s 2018 budget. Rather than feeling powerless, you can help yourself and others by volunteering to collect or bring food to those in need.</p>
<p>Additionally, Psychological First Aid can be used as reminder to take good care of ourselves. </p>
<p>When people feel depressed, they tend to shut themselves in, literally – stop engaging in their routines, stay inside and away from people. These are the times that we need to make sure we are eating and sleeping well and engaging in <a href="http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx">good self-care</a>. </p>
<p>There appears to be no end in clear sight for these troubling times – be it international terrorism or national divide and derision. </p>
<p>In the interim, taking some pages from the research on trauma recovery might help: Take care of ourselves and others, and lock arms for peace and prosperity. </p>
<p><em>This article was updated Oct. 3, 2017.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/78872/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Joan Cook receives funding from the National Institute of Mental Health and the Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Institute.</span></em></p>Terrorism, confusion and fear are leaving many feeling demoralized. While not quite on the level of depression, demoralization is still something to pay attention to. Here are some ways to do that.Joan M. Cook, Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Yale UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/754022017-05-14T20:15:28Z2017-05-14T20:15:28ZWhy bad moods are good for you: the surprising benefits of sadness<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/169194/original/file-20170514-3678-8n31g0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Feeling sad now and again is not only normal, but has many psychological benefits.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/download/confirm/556247395?src=v2sBM4Ue0lsL6IIPrwpr3Q-1-8&size=medium_jpg">from www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>Homo sapiens</em> is a very moody species. Even though sadness and bad moods have always been part of the human experience, we now live in an age that ignores or devalues these feelings.</p>
<p>In our culture, normal human emotions like temporary sadness are often treated as <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?id=oWmtN3wSJmoC&pg=PA123&lpg=PA123&dq=sadness+pathology&source=bl&ots=8un00x_5LB&sig=Syb3V0v7J-ddktcwUu6Vb-cnIxw&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjPvLvR59rTAhXCm5QKHa6eAhkQ6AEITjAH#v=onepage&q=sadness%20pathology&f=false">disorders</a>. Manipulative advertising, marketing and self-help industries claim happiness should be <a href="http://www.thenational.ae/business/retail/has-happiness-in-advertising-been-overused">ours for the asking</a>. Yet bad moods remain an essential part of the normal range of moods we regularly experience.</p>
<p>Despite the near-universal <a href="https://medium.com/@dailyzen/the-cult-of-happiness-2d25cef37a7d">cult of happiness</a> and unprecedented material wealth, happiness and life satisfaction in Western societies have <a href="https://internal.psychology.illinois.edu/%7Eediener/Documents/Diener-Seligman_2004.pdf">not improved for decades</a>. </p>
<p>It’s time to re-assess the role of bad moods in our lives. We should recognise they are a normal, and even a useful and adaptive part of being human, helping us cope with many everyday situations and challenges.</p>
<h2>A short history of sadness</h2>
<p>In earlier historical times, short spells of feeling sad or moody (known as mild dysphoria) have always been accepted as a normal part of <a href="http://www.guilford.com/books/The-Positive-Side-of-Negative-Emotions/W-Gerrod-Parrott/9781462513338/contents">everyday life</a>. In fact, many of the greatest achievements of the human spirit deal with evoking, rehearsing and even cultivating negative feelings.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ancient.eu/Greek_Tragedy/">Greek tragedies</a> exposed and trained audiences to accept and deal with the inevitable misfortune of human life. Shakespeare’s tragedies are classics because they echo this theme. And the works of many great artists such as Beethoven and Chopin in music, or Chekhov and Ibsen in literature explore the landscape of sadness, a theme long recognised as instructive and valuable.</p>
<p>Ancient philosophers also believed accepting bad moods is essential to living a full life. Even hedonist philosophers like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicurus">Epicurus</a> recognised living well involves exercising wise judgement, restraint and self-control and accepting inevitable adversity. </p>
<p>Other philosophers like the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism">Stoics</a> also highlighted the importance of learning to anticipate and accept misfortunes such as loss, sorrow or injustice.</p>
<h2>What is the point of sadness?</h2>
<p>Psychologists who study how our feelings and behaviours have evolved over time maintain all our affective states (such as moods and emotions) have a useful role: they alert us to states of the world we need to <a href="http://www.personal.kent.edu/%7Edfresco/CBT_Readings/keltner_%26_gross.pdf">respond to</a>. </p>
<p>In fact, the range of human emotions includes many more negative than positive feelings. Negative emotions such as fear, anger, shame or disgust are helpful because they help us recognise, avoid and overcome threatening or dangerous situations.</p>
<p>But what is the point of sadness, perhaps the most common negative emotion, and one most practising psychologists deal with? </p>
<p>Intense and enduring sadness, such as <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3330161/">depression</a>, is obviously a serious and debilitating disorder. However, mild, temporary bad moods may serve an important and useful <a href="https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/negative-emotions/">adaptive purpose</a>, by helping us to cope with everyday challenges and difficult situations. </p>
<p>These moods also act as a social signal that communicates disengagement and withdrawal from competition and provides a protective cover. When we appear sad or in a bad mood, people often are concerned and are inclined to <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/53/1/94/">help</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/168711/original/file-20170510-28100-1l45huz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">When we’re sad, other people show concern and want to help.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/collections/450425/kindness?photo=VNjNtdu0yCw">Joshua Clay/Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Some negative moods, such as <a href="http://www.contempaesthetics.org/newvolume/pages/article.php?articleID=214">melancholia</a> and <a href="http://www.wildschut.me/Tim_Wildschut/home_files/Nostalgia%20JPSP.pdf">nostalgia</a> (a longing for the past), may even be pleasant and seem to provide useful information to guide future plans and motivation.</p>
<p>Sadness can also enhance empathy, compassion, connectedness and moral and aesthetic sensibility. And sadness has long been a trigger for <a href="https://www.wired.com/2010/10/feeling-sad-makes-us-more-creative/">artistic creativity</a>.</p>
<p>Recent scientific experiments document the <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721412474458">benefits</a> of mild bad moods. These often work as automatic, unconscious alarm signals, promoting a more attentive and detailed thinking style. In other words, bad moods help us to be more attentive and focused in difficult situations.</p>
<p>In contrast, a positive mood (like feeling happy) typically serves as a signal indicating familiar and safe situations and results in a less detailed and attentive processing style.</p>
<h2>Psychological benefits of sadness</h2>
<p>There is now growing evidence that negative moods, like sadness, have psychological benefits.</p>
<p>To demonstrate this, researchers first manipulate people’s mood (by showing happy or sad films, for example), then measure changes in performance in various cognitive and behavioural tasks. </p>
<p>Feeling sad or in a bad mood produces a number of benefits:</p>
<ul>
<li><p><strong>better memory</strong>: in one study, a bad mood (caused by bad weather) resulted in people <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103108001649">better remembering</a> the details of a shop they just left. Bad mood can also improve <a href="https://experts.illinois.edu/en/publications/mood-effects-on-eyewitness-memory-affective-influences-on-suscept">eyewitness memories</a> by reducing the effects of various distractions, such as irrelevant, false or misleading information.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>more accurate judgements</strong>: a mild bad mood also reduces some biases and distortions in how people form impressions. For instance, slightly sad judges formed more accurate and reliable impressions about others because they processed details <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Joseph_Forgas/publication/241071358_Can_negative_affect_eliminate_the_power_of_first_impressions_Affective_influences_on_primacy_and_recency_effects_in_impression_formation/links/5424f0020cf26120b7ac4b5b.pdf">more effectively</a>. We found that bad moods also reduced <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103108000693">gullibility</a> and increased scepticism when evaluating urban myths and rumours, and even improved people’s ability to <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/222401249_On_being_happy_and_gullible_Mood_effects_on_skepticism_and_the_detection_of_deception">detect deception</a> more accurately. People in a mild bad mood are also less likely to rely on simplistic <a href="http://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/bodenhausen/HASC.pdf">stereotypes</a>.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>motivation</strong>: other experiments found that when happy and sad participants were asked to perform a difficult mental task, those in a bad mood tried harder and <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?id=XftkAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA21&lpg=PA21&dq=negative+mood+improves+perseverance&source=bl&ots=sYypDVB1kH&sig=F0mkA-IlQX9hITLnDsPhgRZC-7U&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiTmfCF8trTAhVFFJQKHZXEA74Q6AEIPzAF#v=onepage&q=negative%20mood%20improves%20perseverance&f=false">persevered more</a>. They spent more time on the task, attempted more questions and produced more correct answers. </p></li>
<li><p><strong>better communication</strong>: the more attentive and detailed thinking style promoted by a bad mood can also improve communication. We found people in a sad mood used more effective <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/222692572_When_sad_is_better_than_happy_Negative_affect_can_improve_the_quality_and_effectiveness_of_persuasive_messages_and_social_influence_strategies">persuasive arguments</a> to convince others, were better at understanding ambiguous sentences and communicated better when <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.1950/abstract">talking</a>.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>increased fairness</strong>: other experiments found that a mild bad mood caused people to pay greater attention to social expectations and norms, and they treated others less selfishly and more <a href="http://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/soco_2012_1006">fairly</a>. </p></li>
</ul>
<h2>Counteracting the cult of happiness</h2>
<p>By extolling happiness and denying the virtues of sadness, we set an unachievable goal for ourselves. We may also be causing more disappointment, some say even <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/give-and-take/201305/does-trying-be-happy-make-us-unhappy">depression</a>.</p>
<p>It is increasingly recognised that being in a good mood, despite some advantages, is <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/positive-emotion-9780199926725?cc=au&lang=en&">not universally desirable</a>.</p>
<p>Feeling sad or in a bad mood helps us to focus better on the situation we find ourselves in, and so increases our ability to monitor and successfully respond to more demanding situations.</p>
<p>These findings suggest the unrelenting pursuit of happiness may often be self-defeating. A more balanced assessment of the costs and benefits of good and bad moods is long overdue.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>If feelings of sadness persist, contact your GP, <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> 13 11 14, <a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au">beyondblue</a> 1300 22 4636 or <a href="https://www.sane.org/">SANE Australia</a> 1800 18 7263.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/75402/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Joseph Paul Forgas receives funding from the Australian Research Council. </span></em></p>Even though sadness and bad moods have always been part of the human experience, we live in an age that ignores or devalues them. But we’ve much to gain from feeling sad now and again.Joseph Paul Forgas, Scientia Professor of Psychology, UNSW SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.