tag:theconversation.com,2011:/fr/topics/parents-9152/articlesParents – The Conversation2024-03-03T14:27:50Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2224652024-03-03T14:27:50Z2024-03-03T14:27:50ZNavigating special education labels is complex, and it matters for education equity<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/578488/original/file-20240228-24-s7p4c5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=10%2C87%2C3631%2C2583&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Racialized immigrant parents in a study had to find ways to navigate the education system as newcomers, while also addressing intended and unintended effects of special education programs for their children.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Mche Lee/Unsplash)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The Ontario Ministry of Education’s <a href="https://files.ontario.ca/edu-special-education-policy-resource-guide-en-2022-05-30.pdf">special education policy and resource guide</a> provides instructions <a href="https://www.ontario.ca/document/special-education-ontario-policy-and-resource-guide-kindergarten-grade-12">to school boards and schools</a> on administering special education programs. </p>
<p>It also emphasizes the importance of education equity, and involving parents in special education designations. </p>
<p>As researchers, we explored the rights of Latin American and Black Caribbean youth when it comes to special education in our project: the <a href="https://rcypartnership.org/en/">Rights for Children and Youth Partnership</a>. </p>
<p>To better understand newcomer experiences, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/13613324.2023.2255837">we interviewed</a> 32 parents, 12 of whom indicated having a first-hand experience with special education in Ontario schools.</p>
<p>We learned that despite the special education policy’s commitment to involving parents, many parents felt excluded from decision-making processes surrounding assessments for their child’s learning needs, and faced language barriers. </p>
<h2>Identifying need for special education</h2>
<p>In Ontario, students presenting learning needs may be identified as exceptional within one or more special education categories. These categories are intended to address conditions affecting their learning. </p>
<p>Special education can benefit students to ensure an equitable educational experience. However, <a href="https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1277996.pdf">researchers have also raised concerns</a> about the efficacy of special education programs for equitable learning because of how <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/13613324.2016.1248821">social factors such as racism and classism result in discriminatory framings of disability and the perception of special needs</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/too-busy-for-the-pta-but-working-class-parents-care-104386">Too busy for the PTA, but working-class parents care</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>In Ontario’s largest school boards, Black and Latin American youth have been disproportionately <a href="https://www.tdsb.on.ca/Portals/research/docs/reports/Intersection%20of%20Disability%20Achievement%20and%20Equity.pdf">placed in special education programs</a>, compared to students in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0895904818813303">other racial-ethnic groupings</a>. </p>
<p>Research from the Peel District School board, serving the western Greater Toronto Area, reports <a href="https://www.peelschools.org/documents/16.2b_Directive9-EquityAccountabilityReportCard-UnderstandingtheEquityGapinSpecialEducation.pdf/16.2b_Directive9-EquityAccountabilityReportCard-UnderstandingtheEquityGapinSpecialEducation.pdf">Black students are three times more likely to be identified with a behavioural exceptionality</a> and streamed into special education programming. </p>
<p>Similarly, <a href="https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/i-was-very-isolated-report-documents-hispanic-students-alienation-in-ontario/article_21d6d9fd-1b13-57c3-8f26-94d545a80556.html">Latin American youth have reported arbitrarily being placed in English as a Second Language courses</a> and labelled with communicational exceptionalities, despite proficiency in English. These labels carry <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0895904818812772">long-lasting impacts on their educational journey</a>.</p>
<h2>Complex special education processes</h2>
<p>In Ontario, the special education placement process is complex and can include many parties (like teachers, principals, special education staff, school board officers, parents or guardians and, if requested, interpreters).</p>
<p>These parties engage in consultations to evaluate the student’s learning needs. Assessments are then reviewed by a board’s <a href="https://www.ontario.ca/page/identifying-students-special-education-needs">Identification, Placement and Review Committee (IPRC)</a>, consisting of at least three members, one of whom must be a principal or supervisory officer of the school board.</p>
<p>According to the guide, educators should encourage and invite parents to participate throughout this evaluation process and the IPRC meeting, though their attendance isn’t required. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A blurred person seen in a corridor of file folders and records on shelves." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/574794/original/file-20240211-26-iklod6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Special education labels and categorizations are documented in student records.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Unsplash/Redd F)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Lack of required parental input</h2>
<p>Parents are, however, required to sign and agree to the IPRC’s statement of decision. They have a right to appeal the findings, and are given 30 days. If parents don’t appeal, the board instructs the principal to implement the committee’s decision, including <a href="https://www.ontario.ca/page/individual-education-plans">individual education plans (IEP)</a>. </p>
<p>The child’s provincial student record documents the outcomes of the decision, including the various labels, or “exceptionalities” identified, and the IEP. These records follow students throughout primary and secondary education.</p>
<p>Lack of required parental input throughout the process indicates that early on, educators alone can make decisions involving a child. </p>
<h2>Language barriers</h2>
<p>In our study, one parent, Mariela, described the challenges of learning a new educational system. This was compounded by the technical language educators used: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“The language that is used is very strategic. It’s language that doesn’t welcome parents’ feedback [and] parents don’t know they have the option to say no. […] It’s like, ‘This is what happens; this is what we do. We need you to sign this.’ And that’s the language; it isn’t welcoming for parents to ask [questions].”</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Specialized language</h2>
<p>Parents also recognized that a sense of pressure to accept educators’ decisions was discriminatory based on their limited abilities to keep up with the discourse and to have input in decision-making. Scarlett described feeling intimidated:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“It was always so traumatic and intimidating dealing with the school; it would be me and five school officials, you know? […] It’s like, you’re coming into this space, and decisions may already have been made.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Scarlett’s son was identified as having behavioural issues as early as Grade 2. She insisted her son be tested for gifted learning, recognizing that he was experiencing behaviour difficulties because he was bored and not being academically challenged. </p>
<p>Her son was not placed in a gifted class until Grade 7. During what she called “lost time,” the school involved the police in instances when he was “acting out,” and recommended her son be sent to a treatment facility for high-risk youth.</p>
<h2>Pressure to accept decisions</h2>
<p>Special education meetings also illuminated imbalances we observed in our study between parents who understood they had the right to ask for an interpreter or bring a representative — and parents who were unaware of this. </p>
<p>Claudia voiced concern about a special education label for her son in elementary school, saying educators had mistaken his speech difficulties for low intelligence. She was told her son’s speech delay would impact his ability to go to college or university.</p>
<p>She later recalled learning about her right to bring someone with her to IPRC meetings. She detailed the impact of having her son’s daycare supervisor there with her, saying: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“I wanted to bring that person to support [me], probably for emotional support, for the English support, for the systematic barrier that I knew that I could face.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>With the support of someone who educators also considered an “expert,” Claudia withdrew her son from special education programs — and instead sought additional support outside the school system.</p>
<p>Notably, only a few parents mentioned knowing their right to bring someone to the meetings, and all said the information came from sources outside the education system.</p>
<h2>Lack of guidance</h2>
<p>The Toronto District School Board has made the effort to increase access to parents’ rights to special education, offering the <a href="https://www.tdsb.on.ca/Learning-Equity-and-Well-Being/Special-Education-and-Inclusion/Parent-Guides-to-Special-Education-and-Inclusion"><em>Guide to Special Education and Inclusion for Parents/Caregivers/Guardians</em></a> in various languages.</p>
<p>However, for immigrant parents in our study who had no prior experience in Ontario’s schooling system, the lack of concrete information about their rights was a barrier to them being true participants in decision-making. </p>
<p>System accountability is needed to ensure immigrant racialized students and families are effectively provided support and understand the special education process. This support must be tailored to better address the needs of parents, so that their children are equitably positioned for successful academic pathways.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222465/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Henry Parada: This study received funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council (SSHRC- 895-2015-1014). Toronto Metropolitan University Ethics Committee approved this study (2018-200).</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Laura Perez Gonzalez and Veronica Escobar Olivo do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>A study of newcomer Latin American and Black Caribbean parents in Ontario schools found many parents felt excluded from processes surrounding assessments for their child’s learning needs.Laura Perez Gonzalez, Research Assistant, School of Social Work, Toronto Metropolitan UniversityHenry Parada, Professor, Toronto Metropolitan University’s School of Social Work and the Immigration and Settlement (ISS) Graduate Program and Graduate Program Director, Toronto Metropolitan UniversityVeronica Escobar Olivo, Research Associate, School of Social Work, Toronto Metropolitan UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2156552024-02-23T13:49:12Z2024-02-23T13:49:12ZMaking the moral of the story stick − a media psychologist explains the research behind ‘Sesame Street,’ ‘Arthur’ and other children’s TV<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576031/original/file-20240215-28-p8bjh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C3776%2C2832&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Children's TV shows are typically designed to improve their viewers' cognitive, social and moral development.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/usairforce/14380434613/in/photolist-nUKucP">U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Scott Saldukas/Released via Flickr</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>To adult viewers, educational media content for children, such as “<a href="https://www.sesamestreet.org/">Sesame Street</a>” or “<a href="https://pbskids.org/daniel/">Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood</a>,” may seem rather simplistic. The pacing is slow, key themes are often repeated and the visual aspects tend to be plain. </p>
<p>However, many people might be surprised to learn about the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2017.1361841">sheer amount</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17482798.2010.486127">of research</a> that goes into the design choices many contemporary programs use. </p>
<p>For <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=AEe_00wAAAAJ&hl=en">more than a decade</a>, I have studied just that: how to design media to support children’s learning, particularly in moral development. My research, along with the work of many others, shows that children can learn important developmental and social skills through media.</p>
<h2>History of research on children’s media</h2>
<p>Research on how to design children’s media to support learning is not new. </p>
<p>When “Sesame Street” debuted in November 1969, it began a decadeslong practice of <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781410605252-5/varied-role-formative-research-case-studies-30-years-rosemarie-truglio-valeria-lovelace-ivelisse-segu%C3%AD-susan-scheiner">testing its content before airing it</a> to ensure children learned the intended messages of each episode and enjoyed watching it. Some episodes included messages notoriously difficult to teach to young children, including lessons about death, divorce and racism. </p>
<p>Researchers at the <a href="https://sesameworkshop.org/our-work/research-and-insights/">Sesame Workshop</a> hold focus groups at local preschools where participating children watch or interact with Sesame content. They test the children on whether they are engaged with, pay attention to and learn the intended message of the content. If the episode passes the test, then it moves on to the next stage of production. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Puppeteer holding muppet Abby Cadabby out for a child to engage with" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=602&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=602&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=602&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=757&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=757&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576035/original/file-20240215-20-3m1u5e.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=757&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The Sesame Workshop uses muppets to teach children about difficult topics.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/SesameStreetinCommunities/d2ddd365cd8e43998a6143daa30391f8">AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>If children do not learn the intended message, or are not engaged and attentive, then the episode goes back for editing. In some cases, such as a <a href="https://lostmediawiki.com/Sesame_Street_%22Snuffy%27s_Parents_Get_a_Divorce%22_(partially_found_episode_of_children%27s_puppetry_TV_series;_1992)">1992 program</a> designed to teach children about divorce, the entire episode is scrapped. In this case, children misunderstood some key information about divorce. “Sesame Street” did not include divorce in its content until 2012.</p>
<h2>Designing children’s media</h2>
<p>With help from the pioneering research of “Sesame Street,” along with research from other children’s television shows both in the industry and in academia, the past few decades have seen many new insights on how best to design media to promote children’s learning. These strategies are still shaping children’s shows today.</p>
<p>For example, you may have noticed that some children’s television characters speak directly to the camera and pause for the child viewer at home to yell out an answer to their question. This design strategy, known as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2014.932288">participatory cues</a>, is famously used by the shows “Blue’s Clues” and “Dora the Explorer.” Researchers found that participatory cues in TV are linked to increased <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2017.1361841">vocabulary learning and content comprehension</a> among young children. They also increase children’s <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/S1532785XMEP0202_4">engagement with the educational content</a> of the show over time, particularly as they learn the intended lesson and can give the character the correct answer.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/K-HGAwM4aDA?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Participatory cues are a prominent feature of children’s shows like ‘Blues Clues.’</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>You may have also noticed that children’s media often features jokes that seem to be aimed more at adults. These are often commentary about popular culture that require context children might not be aware of or involve more complex language that children might not understand. This is because children are more likely to learn when a supportive adult or older sibling is watching the show alongside them and helping explain or connect it to the child’s life. Known as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17482798.2016.1203806">active mediation</a>, research has shown that talking about the goals, emotions and behaviors of media characters can help children learn from them and even improve aspects of their own emotional and social development.</p>
<p>Programs have also incorporated <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650217733846">concrete examples of desired behaviors</a>, such as treating a neurodiverse character fairly, rather than discussing the behaviors more abstractly. This is because children younger than about age 7 <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213260802204355">struggle with abstract thinking</a> and may have difficulty generalizing content they learned from media and applying it to their own lives.</p>
<p>Research on an <a href="https://youtu.be/zDRYoINqPQY">episode of “Arthur”</a> found that a concrete example of a main character experiencing life through the eyes of another character with Asperger’s syndrome improved the ability of child viewers to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650217733846">take another person’s perspective</a>. It also increased the nuance of their moral judgments and moral reasoning. Just a single viewing of that one episode can positively influence several aspects of a child’s cognitive and moral development.</p>
<h2>Teaching inclusion through media</h2>
<p>One skill that has proven difficult to teach children through media is inclusivity. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213260802204355">Multiple studies have</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2017.1378111">shown that children</a> are more likely to exclude others from their social group after viewing an episode explicitly designed to promote inclusion. </p>
<p>For example, an <a href="https://pbskids.org/video/clifford-big-red-dog/1483974629">episode of “Clifford the Big Red Dog”</a> involved Clifford and his family moving to a new town. The townspeople initially did not want to include Clifford because he was too big, but they eventually learned the importance of getting to know others before making judgments about them. However, watching this episode <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2017.1378111">did not make</a> children more likely to play with or view disabled or overweight children favorably.</p>
<p>Based on my own work, I argue that one reason inclusivity can be difficult to teach in children’s TV may be due to how narratives are structured. For example, many shows actually <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213260903052265">model antisocial behaviors</a> during the first three-quarters of the episode before finally modeling prosocial behaviors at the end. This may inadvertently teach the wrong message, because children tend to focus on the behaviors modeled for the majority of the program. </p>
<p>My team and I conducted a recent study showing that including a 30-second clip prior to the episode that explains the inclusive message to children before they view the content can help <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2019.1601570">increase prosocial behaviors and decrease stigmatization</a>. Although this practice might not be common in children’s TV at the moment, adult viewers can also fill this role by explaining the intended message of inclusivity to children before watching the episode. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Smiling parent sitting with two children watching TV together" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576034/original/file-20240215-30-janko5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Adult viewers watching TV alongside children can help kids apply the lessons the shows teach to their own lives.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/young-mother-and-her-boy-and-a-girl-spending-royalty-free-image/1339901480">miniseries/E+ via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Parenting with media</h2>
<p>Children’s media is more complex than many people think. Although there is certainly a lot of media out there that may not use study-informed design practices, many shows do use research to ensure children have the best chance to learn from what they watch.</p>
<p>It can be difficult to be a parent or a child in a media-saturated world, particularly in deciding when children should begin to watch media and which media they should watch. But there are relatively simple strategies parents and supportive adults can use to leverage media to support their child’s healthy development and future.</p>
<p>Parents and other adults can help children learn from media by watching alongside them and answering their questions. They can also read <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/">reviews of media</a> to determine its quality and age appropriateness. Doing so can help children consume media in a healthy way. </p>
<p>We live in a media-saturated world, and restricting young children’s media use is difficult for most families. With just a little effort, parents can model healthy ways to use media for their children and select research-informed media that promotes healthy development and well-being among the next generation.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215655/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Allyson Snyder was a Sesame Workshop intern in 2018.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Drew Cingel, Jane Shawcroft, and Samantha Vigil do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Many children’s educational shows undergo pre-screening to make sure each episode delivers its intended message. Adult viewers watching alongside kids can help ensure the lessons are well received.Drew Cingel, Associate Professor of Communication, University of California, DavisAllyson Snyder, Ph.D. Candidate in Communication, University of California, DavisJane Shawcroft, Ph.D. Candidate in Communication, University of California, DavisSamantha Vigil, Ph.D. Candidate in Communication, University of California, DavisLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2218502024-02-19T13:43:19Z2024-02-19T13:43:19ZHow having conversations with children builds their language — and strengthens family connections<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576189/original/file-20240216-16-eufedv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C7321%2C3396&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Intentionally integrating vocabulary into conversations from topics children are curious about helps grow children's language skills. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Parents and caregivers of school-aged children are all too familiar with the after-school conversation that sounds a little something like: </p>
<p>“How was school?” </p>
<p>“Fine.” </p>
<p>“What did you learn?” </p>
<p>“Nothing.”</p>
<p>Conversations between children of <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-new-study-of-warlpiri-language-shows-how-baby-talk-helps-little-kids-learn-to-speak-207835">all ages</a> and attentive, caring adults <a href="https://www.hanen.org/helpful-info/articles/power-turn-taking.aspx">offer strong benefits</a> in all domains of children’s <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/parenting/helping-kids">well-being</a>.</p>
<p>When these conversations are purposeful and strategic, they can even strengthen skills that contribute to <a href="https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/vocabulary/articles/talking-counts#">stronger literacy and language development</a>.</p>
<h2>More than information exchange</h2>
<p>When we engage in quality conversations with children, we are doing more than finding out how their day was at school. </p>
<p>Talking with children <a href="https://decoda.ca/talking-is-teaching/">teaches them about their world</a>, <a href="https://www.lena.org/new-research-links-early-vocabulary-skills-to-teacher-child-interaction-in-preschool-classrooms/">enhances their vocabulary</a>, <a href="https://www.integrativemind.com/blog/strengthening-parent-child-communication-building-trust-and-understanding">strengthens trust and relationships</a> and models formal <a href="https://thesixshifts.com/2021/08/2035/">language structures</a> — how an arrangement and order of <a href="https://surreyschoolsone.ca/teachers/literacy/elementary/reading-essentials/language-structures/#">words in the context of specific sentences yields meaning</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A man and girl seated at different ends of a couch with mugs." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576070/original/file-20240215-22-te0oax.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Quality conversations have multiple benefits.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The power of conversations between children and adults even has the potential to affect connectivity in select regions of the brain. </p>
<p>In a recent study in the <em>Journal of Neuroscience</em>, conversational “turns” — where there is a back-and-forth conversational exchange between children and attentive adults — were linked to increased strength of white matter connections between regions of the brain <a href="https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.1034-22.2023">related to speech and comprehension of written and spoken language.</a> </p>
<h2>Sparking language-building conversations</h2>
<p>The list below details some ways parents or caregivers can spark language-building conversations that accelerate children’s literacy and family relationships:</p>
<p><strong>Actively listen.</strong> <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/toddlersandpreschoolers/communication/activelistening.html#">Active listening</a> involves showing an authentic interest in what children have to say. Active listening looks like minimizing distractions, making eye contact, stopping other things you are doing, lowering yourself to their physical level (by sitting or bending down, for instance) and reflecting or repeating back what they are saying and what they may be feeling to make sure you understand. </p>
<p><strong>Ask open-ended questions.</strong> Open-ended questions encourage children to <a href="https://decoda.ca/talking-is-teaching/">pause, think and reflect</a> instead of simply responding “yes” or “no” or “nothing.” Open-ended questions typically begin with the following words and phrases: </p>
<ul>
<li>Why, how, describe … </li>
<li>Tell me about …</li>
<li>What do you think about … </li>
<li>I wonder (if / why / how) …</li>
<li>What do you notice about … </li>
<li>Tell me more about …</li>
<li>What else do you want me to know about that? </li>
</ul>
<p>Open-ended questions can also be used as follow-ups to other questions.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two adults sitting on a porch with a child." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=443&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=443&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=443&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=556&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=556&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/576190/original/file-20240216-24-pejfg0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=556&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Asking children what they notice is one way to guide an open-ended conversation.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>Try the “Strive-for-Five” framework.</strong> “Strive-for-Five” is a conversational framework pioneered by educators David Dickinson and Ann B. Morse and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/trtr.2266">recently adapted by</a> educational researchers Sonia Q. Cabell and Tricia A. Zucker. This <a href="https://coursemedia.erikson.edu/eriksononline/CPC/2014_2015/Module1/Documents/Purposeful_Talk/Strive_for_Five_Experience.pdf">framework is intended</a> to enhance conversations by encouraging parents, caregivers and educators to strive for <em>five</em> conversational turns with children instead of the typical three in order to foster foundational language skill development. To try this, respond to children in a way that challenges their thinking and encourages using language. Rather than stopping short at the third conversational point, attempt to continue the conversation by asking fun, <a href="https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/questions-every-parent-should-ask-their-kid/">open-ended follow-up questions</a> or share another thought to try to extend the exchange.</p>
<p><strong>Embed conversations in everyday routines.</strong> If you find it difficult to actively listen and engage in purposeful conversations during certain times of the day, try to schedule time where active listening may be more feasible, like during <a href="https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/spending-quality-time-with-your-child#:%7E:text=Create%20a%20special%20ritual%20for,how%20she%20makes%20you%20feel">everyday routines</a> or when <a href="https://laughplayread.wordpress.com/2018/04/09/strive-for-five/">reading aloud</a>. </p>
<p><strong>Scaffold the conversation.</strong> Scaffolding is a strategy used to support learning by building on skills children already have and gradually reducing the support provided. Scaffolding conversations with children might include:</p>
<ul>
<li>repeating words or phrases so they are used correctly;</li>
<li>integrating vocabulary from topics they are learning about or are curious about;</li>
<li>providing sentence starters that invite them to finish the sentence;</li>
<li>asking questions that challenge their thinking to move a conversation past the third talking turn.<br></li>
</ul>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rVaRdVt6Ihw?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Video from Parent Lab discusses how scaffolding conversations with children strengthens language-building skills, autonomy, confidence and connections.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Engaging in frequent, meaningful conversations with children of all ages helps strengthen their <a href="https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/about-reading/articles/simple-view-reading">language comprehension</a>, and in turn, reading comprehension. </p>
<p>Elevating the quality of conversations by using any or all of these suggestions has the potential to enhance the fundamental components of language comprehension, while simultaneously building and maintaining family connections.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221850/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kimberly Hillier does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Engaging in purposeful, meaningful and strategic conversations with children can directly support children’s language comprehension, an important component of reading.Kimberly Hillier, Instructor, Faculty of Education, University of WindsorLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2202072024-02-06T21:56:31Z2024-02-06T21:56:31ZThe motherhood pay gap: Why women’s earnings decline after having children<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/572551/original/file-20240131-19-fg2aeg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=760%2C416%2C7407%2C5003&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The birth of children results in large earnings losses that are not equally distributed within heterosexual couples.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Inequalities between men and women persist in many areas, with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1787/4ead40c7-en">women still earning less than men on average</a>. An even more striking difference is the “motherhood pay gap” that happens when women have children. Also known as the “family gap” or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1257/app.20180010">child penalties</a>, women’s earnings plummet after the birth of a child, while men’s barely budge.</p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1257/jep.12.1.137">Many studies</a> have investigated the causes of gender inequalities and concluded that women have been unable to catch up to the earnings level of men in part <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/684851">because of parenting responsibilities</a>. </p>
<p>Why does this happen? Children have a negative effect on women’s productivity in the labour market by substantially reducing their <a href="https://www.britannica.com/money/human-capital">human capital</a>, which translates into a significant <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/260293">decrease in their earnings</a>. </p>
<p>After the birth of children, mothers tend to turn towards part-time jobs, roles with flexible working hours or positions that offer work conditions more favourable to family life — all of which tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/cje/23.5.543">pay lower wages</a>.</p>
<p>Employers, in return, may see part-time employees as less committed and productive, especially when relying on <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/heuristics">heuristics</a> — mental shortcuts for solving problems — to judge worker quality, as opposed to actual information about their performance. This can result in <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.2911397">fewer bonuses and promotions</a> for these employees. </p>
<h2>The effects of parenthood</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1257/app.20180010">Evidence from Denmark</a>, one of the most egalitarian countries in the world, points to a long-term child penalty of around 20 per cent in earnings. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2023-015">Our research</a> reveals a similar situation in Canada. We used data from Statistics Canada’s Longitudinal and International Study of Adults coupled with historical administrative records from 1982 to 2018. </p>
<p>We compared what happened to men’s and women’s earnings after the birth of their first child for Canadians who had their first child between 1987 and 2009. Using an event study methodology, we followed individuals’ employment income over a period of five years before the birth of the child to 10 years after.</p>
<p>We observed large and persistent negative effects of parenthood for mothers, but not fathers. Mothers’ earnings decrease by 49 per cent the year of birth, with a penalty of 34.3 per cent 10 years after. Fathers’ earnings appear largely unaffected.</p>
<h2>Unequal effects of children</h2>
<p>The birth of children results in large earnings losses that are not equally distributed within heterosexual couples. Fathers stay on the same earnings track, while women experience penalties that persist over the years. This is especially true for <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2023-015">mothers of multiple children or those with a lower education level</a>. </p>
<p>This impoverishment triggered by the birth of a child can have significant economic impacts <a href="https://espace.inrs.ca/id/eprint/13576">should the couple separate</a>. In Canada, nearly <a href="https://doi.org/10.25318/3910005101-eng">one-third of marriages</a> end in divorce. </p>
<p>Women are typically <a href="https://doi.org/10.4054/DemRes.2016.35.50">financially disadvantaged</a> following a separation. This disadvantage may be attributable to pre-separation factors, such as the unequal division of labour during the marriage and lower earnings for women, but also to women’s prolonged absences from the labour force due to family responsibilities.</p>
<h2>Equal pay for equal work</h2>
<p>In this context, it’s crucial to ask ourselves if there are measures that could eliminate, or at least reduce, the economic impact associated with family responsibilities on mothers’ earnings and employment. </p>
<p>We investigated the role of family policies, since they were in part designed to encourage maternal employment and promote more equal sharing of parenting responsibilities between partners. </p>
<p>Specifically, we focused on the extension of parental leaves in Canada and the introduction of <a href="https://www.mfa.gouv.qc.ca/en/services-de-garde/programme-contribution-reduite/Pages/index.aspx">reduced contribution child-care services for families in Québec</a>. We found suggestive evidence that these policies can help reduce child penalties. </p>
<p>“Equal pay for equal work” policies, such as the federal government’s <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/services/jobs/workplace/human-rights/overview-pay-equity-act.html">Pay Equity Act</a>, also have the potential to make a substantial difference. These policies can raise the fairness and attractiveness of the labour market for women and reduce the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1257/jel.20160995">potentially negative impact of experience-based pay</a> for mothers. </p>
<h2>More benefits down the line</h2>
<p>In addition to having a positive effect on the economic situation of women, encouraging employment for mothers could help eliminate the stigma around the division of labour within couples by exposing children to a more symmetrical model of remunerated and unpaid work. </p>
<p>A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0950017018760167">recent study</a> using data from 29 countries showed that employed mothers were more likely to transmit egalitarian values to their children both at work and at home. Girls with employed mothers ended up working more themselves: they worked more hours, were better paid and held supervisory positions more often than girls with stay-at-home mothers. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A toddler sits on the lap of a women, presumably her mother, in front of a desk. She is smiling and touching a laptop while her mother smiles down at her." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/573140/original/file-20240202-17-6ybyzo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Employed mothers are more likely to transmit egalitarian values to their children both at work and at home.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The result was not observed in boys. However, boys who grew up with employed mothers were more involved in family and domestic responsibilities as adults than men whose mothers were not in the labour market. The girls also spent less time doing household chores. </p>
<p>Working mothers appear to have an intergenerational impact favouring gender equality, both within the family and in the labour market.</p>
<p>We all know raising children is time-consuming. Children, of course, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/675070">benefit from this parental time investment</a>. But bringing up children is also costly. Our research quantified one kind of cost: the lower earnings trajectory. Knowing how these costs are shared among the two parents is key to enable better decision making, for policymakers, but ultimately, for parents, future parents and their children.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220207/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Marie Connolly received funding from the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Société et culture and CIRANO. The analysis in this article was conducted at the Quebec Inter-university Centre for Social Statistics, which is supported by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Canada Foundation for Innovation, Statistics Canada, the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Société et culture, the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Santé and Québec universities.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Catherine Haeck received funding from the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Société et culture and CIRANO. The analysis in this article was conducted at the Quebec Inter-university Centre for Social Statistics, which is supported by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Canada Foundation for Innovation, Statistics Canada, the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Société et culture, the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Santé and Québec universities.</span></em></p>New research shows that women’s earnings are negatively impacted by having children, while men’s aren’t. The effects can be long-lasting and contribute to the gender pay gap.Marie Connolly, Professor of Economics, Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM)Catherine Haeck, Full Professor, Economics Department, Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM)Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2220452024-02-04T13:33:40Z2024-02-04T13:33:40Z3 lessons from MP Karina Gould’s parental leave that could help all Canadian families<p>Federal cabinet minister Karina Gould, leader of the government in the House of Commons, has made Canadian history three times: as the youngest female federal cabinet minister, the first <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/karina-gould-baby-oliver-1.4569111">to give birth while holding office</a> and the first to take parental leave. Her approach to parental leave could well translate into her most enduring legacy.</p>
<p>Like all MPs, <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/karina-gould-maternity-leave-cabinet-1.4528668">Gould wasn’t eligible for parental leave when her first child was born in 2018</a>. Four weeks later, she resumed work in her constituency of Burlington, Ont. After another five weeks, she returned to the House of Commons with her infant in tow. </p>
<p>Gould has just given birth to her second child. This time, <a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/politics/article-the-second-time-around-karina-goulds-maternity-plans-are-much/">she’s doing things differently</a>. She’s taking six months off, thanks to 2019 legislation that provides MP parents of newborns up to 12 months with paid parental leave benefits.</p>
<p>On the surface, Gould’s parental leave plan resembles that of many Canadians. Yet there are key differences, and they offer three lessons on how parental leave could be redesigned for each and every Canadian parent. </p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1750541744775589917"}"></div></p>
<h2>Lesson 1: Boost eligibility</h2>
<p>Not all Canadians are eligible for parental leave. Almost one-third of all Canadian mothers (outside of Québec, <a href="https://policyoptions.irpp.org/magazines/october-2020/redesign-parental-leave-system-to-enhance-gender-equality/">which has a more inclusive program</a>) <a href="https://www.utpjournals.press/doi/full/10.3138/cpp.2020-091">do not receive paid maternity or parental benefits</a>. This is due to many factors, including restrictive <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/programs/ei/ei-list/reports/maternity-parental.html">eligibility criteria of 600 employment hours in the year before a child’s birth</a>. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/businesses/topics/payroll/payroll-deductions-contributions/special-payments/elected-appointed-officials.html">MPs do not pay into Employment Insurance (EI)</a> and so were, until 2019, ineligible for parental leave benefits. Yet the government found a policy path for them. </p>
<p>It’s time to rethink eligibility criteria so that more Canadians can benefit from parental leave benefits. </p>
<h2>Lesson 2: Better wage top-ups</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.ourcommons.ca/Content/MAS/mas-e.pdf">MPs receive 92 per cent of their salaries while on leave</a>. Similar salary top-ups exist in the public sector and some private companies. For most Canadians, however, parental leave is low-paid: only 33 to 55 per cent of wages, <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/ei/ei-regular-benefit/benefit-amount.html">with a ceiling of $401 to $668 weekly and $63,200 annually</a>.</p>
<p>Out of 36 countries in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, Canada has the <a href="https://policyoptions.irpp.org/magazines/february-2023/ei-parental-benefits/">lowest wage replacement rates</a> for parental leave. </p>
<p>This has implications for how many Canadian fathers take their parental leave entitlements. In 2020-21, <a href="https://www.leavenetwork.org/fileadmin/user_upload/k_leavenetwork/annual_reviews/2023/Canada2023.pdf">23.5 per cent of eligible fathers</a> took parental leave. In Québec, which has a 70-75 per cent wage replacement rate, that number was 85.6 per cent. It’s time to make leaves affordable for all parents.</p>
<h2>Lesson 3: More flexibility</h2>
<p>Finally, there are lessons about flexibility and choice, and what they mean in a post-pandemic world, where remote work has changed how people balance family life and paid work.</p>
<p>For Gould, this means taking a short post-partum leave and then combining parental leave with some remote work. As she told Canadians, she plans to <a href="https://twitter.com/karinagould/status/1744377173425717510">“take on her MP work remotely, voting and participating in caucus and cabinet meetings, though on a reduced schedule.</a>” </p>
<p>Admittedly, an MP’s job, with its unique pressures, requires a flexible parental leave system. Yet many other jobs have distinct demands.</p>
<p>The problem with Canada’s current system is that leaves must be taken as consecutive weeks in the first 12 to 18 months after a child’s birth.</p>
<p>There are other ways to do parental leave. <a href="https://www.leavenetwork.org/fileadmin/user_upload/k_leavenetwork/annual_reviews/2023/Sweden2023.pdf">In Sweden</a>, for example, leaves can be taken in one or several blocks of time, in days rather than weeks, on a full or part-time basis, and across several years. </p>
<p>There are risks to flexible leave, however, that are <a href="https://www.gendereconomy.org/the-future-of-work/">well-documented in research</a> on flexible work and gender inequalities. Some employers might not respect the boundaries of parents on leave. These boundaries are critical because parents need time to care for their infants, who demand and deserve that dedicated care.</p>
<p>But there are precedents to build on, such as Ontario’s “<a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-ontarios-right-to-disconnect-policy-takes-effect-today-heres-what/">right to disconnect</a>” policy and EI’s <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/programs/ei/ei-list/working-while-claim.html">Working While on Claim</a> option. </p>
<h2>Shining a spotlight</h2>
<p>Gould’s parental leave matters not only to her family. It should matter to all Canadians, because it shines a spotlight on the federal government’s long overdue promise to <a href="https://2019.liberal.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/292/2019/09/Backgrounder-More-time-and-money-to-help-families-raise-their-kids.pdf">rethink and redesign parental leave policy</a>. </p>
<p>There have been important changes, including a <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/campaigns/ei-improvements/parent-sharing.html">parental sharing benefit</a> for fathers and second parents and benefits for parents of <a href="https://www.hrinfodesk.com/preview.asp?article=50100&title=New%20adoption%20Employment%20Insurance%20(EI)%20benefit">adopted children</a>. <a href="https://policyoptions.irpp.org/magazines/february-2022/parental-leave-needs-an-overhaul/">It’s time to do more</a> for more Canadians. </p>
<p>A rethinking of parental leave should begin with clarifying what parental leave is.</p>
<p>Currently, a paid leave to care for an infant combines parental benefits, which are lodged within EI as employment benefits, and the right to take job-protected leave, which is part of provincial/territorial/federal employment standards. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/improved-employment-policies-can-encourage-fathers-to-be-more-involved-at-home-218337">Improved employment policies can encourage fathers to be more involved at home</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>But parental leave is more than an employment policy — it’s also a care policy. Despite what the EI website states, a leave to care for an infant is not about being “<a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/services/benefits/ei/ei-maternity-parental.html">away from work.</a>” Care work is, in fact, actual work. </p>
<p>Parental leave also needs to be integrated with other care policies, especially early learning and child-care policies. Again, there are models to emulate, such as <a href="https://www.government.se/articles/2023/07/every-child-in-sweden-has-the-right-to-a-safe-secure-and-bright-future/">Sweden</a> and other <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1163/j.ctv2gjwv97">Nordic</a> countries. There, children have a human right and entitlement to be cared for.</p>
<p>And there is an explicit policy aim that for every child, there will be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1108/IJSSP-04-2019-0063">no gap</a> between the end of well-paid parental leave and the beginning of early learning and child care.</p>
<h2>Recognizing the value of care</h2>
<p>The COVID-19 pandemic had major impacts on how <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-631-x/11-631-x2024001-eng.htm">some Canadians</a>, <a href="https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/hybrid-sittings-are-here-to-stay-as-house-passes-sweeping-rule-changes-1.6443326">including MPs</a>, can now do some of their paid work in the office or at home. The pandemic also illuminated the socioeconomic value of care and <a href="https://thecareeconomy.ca/">the care economy</a>. </p>
<p>Gould understands this. As the former minister of families, children and social development, she worked with <a href="https://childcarenow.ca/2022/03/28/media-release-child-care-advocates-celebrate-the-signing-of-thirteen-canada-wide-early-learning-and-child-care-agreements/">child-care advocates</a> and experts to shepherd the creation of Canada’s first national child-care program. </p>
<p>When she returns from her parental leave, she will be well-placed to advocate for more inclusive integrated care policies. In fact, it may be long overdue to create a federal minister of care.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222045/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andrea Doucet receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. </span></em></p>Karina Gould’s parental leave is similar to that of many Canadians. Yet there are key differences, and they offer lessons on how parental leave could be redesigned to help more Canadian parents.Andrea Doucet, Professor and Canada Research Chair in Gender, Work, and Care, Brock UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2173812024-01-11T19:10:53Z2024-01-11T19:10:53ZWhat is ‘parent training’ for families of children with ADHD?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566509/original/file-20231219-21-5nuf85.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=9%2C9%2C6125%2C3439&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-man-telling-his-wife-front-1677115807">DC Studio/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Problems with focus and impulse control can be common developmental stages through which children and adolescents naturally progress. But they can also be symptoms of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/facts.html">(ADHD)</a>, a chronic condition. </p>
<p>ADHD is a pattern of inattention or hyperactivity and impulsivity (or both) that interferes with functioning or development, and persists <a href="https://theconversation.com/do-kids-grow-out-of-adhd-as-they-get-older-218692">into adulthood</a>. ADHD affects around <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13052-023-01456-1">7.6% of children</a> aged three to 12 years and 5.6% of teens.</p>
<p>ADHD can significantly influence family dynamics and can affect a child’s ability to learn and interact socially. Raising children with behavioural, developmental or learning difficulties can also make parenting more challenging, with parents navigating feelings of frustration, grief and guilt.</p>
<p>While medication is <a href="https://adhdguideline.aadpa.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/ADHD-Clinical-Practice-Guide-041022.pdf">most effective</a> at minimising core ADHD symptoms, non-drug interventions can also <a href="https://adhdguideline.aadpa.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/ADHD-Clinical-Practice-Guide-041022.pdf">reduce</a> the daily impacts of ADHD symptoms. Parenting/family training is one such <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15374416.2017.1390757?needAccess=true">intervention</a>. So what does it involve and is it effective?</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/adhd-medications-have-doubled-in-the-last-decade-but-other-treatments-can-help-too-191574">ADHD medications have doubled in the last decade – but other treatments can help too</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Positive praise and natural consequences</h2>
<p>Parenting training is widely used and can take different forms. Sometimes a psychologist works with one or both parents to give them skills specific to their family and situation. It’s sometimes a structured in-person program for groups of parents. It can also be delivered online, at parents’ own pace or in virtual classrooms.</p>
<p>Most parent/family training will teach parents forms of:</p>
<ul>
<li><p><strong>positive praise</strong>. Notice when your child is behaving in a desirable way and give them positive feedback. For example,“Wow, you’re playing so nicely. I really like the way you’re keeping all the blocks on the table.” Praise nurtures self esteem and their sense of self. Praise teens for starting homework without being reminded or coming home at the agreed time </p></li>
<li><p><strong>effective limit-setting</strong>. Establish ground rules in a quiet moment of family time, where everyone has a say and understands the boundaries, consequences, and expectations </p></li>
<li><p><strong><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30738545/">natural consequences</a></strong>, such as missing out on watching a TV show because packing up took too long. This allows the child to experience failure or loss, but empowers them with what they can focus on or improve the next time round</p></li>
<li><p><strong>planned ignoring of annoying but not serious behaviours</strong> such as making faces or messy rooms. Make a decision to ignore it and breathe. Model desirable behaviours, such as looking after your possessions and fitting in with family life </p></li>
<li><p><strong>positive parent-child interactions</strong>. “Connection before correction” helps a parent shape their child’s behaviour and can <a href="https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0890-8567(18)31980-4">reduce disruptions</a>.
Emotionally connect by, for example, establishing eye contact, using a gentle tone and getting down on their level. This attunement allows the child to be able to regulate their behaviour and better manage their emotions. </p></li>
</ul>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Dad talks to child in garden" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566515/original/file-20231219-29-tw0fa5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Your responses can reduce their disruptive behaviour.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-blue-crew-neck-t-shirt-beside-woman-in-blue-crew-neck-t-shirt-eyfaunEy9dM">Max Harlynking/Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Parents aren’t to blame for their child’s symptoms; the aim of training is to teach parents skills to meet the above-average parenting needs of children with ADHD. </p>
<p>Take inattention, for example. If a task is boring to a child with ADHD, their brain will struggle to pay attention – even if they want to. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tpB-B8BXk0">ADHD</a> clinical neuropsychologist Russell Barkley explains ADHD like this: the back part of the brain is where you learn, the front part is what you do, and ADHD splits them apart. You can know things but you won’t do them – it’s a performance disorder.</p>
<p>Having a few household rules, schedules, opportunities to problem-solve, effectively using instructions and, most importantly, expressions of <a href="https://5lovelanguages.com/">love</a> can give children positive environments that will help their mental health over time. </p>
<h2>How effective is parent training?</h2>
<p>The <a href="https://adhdguideline.aadpa.com.au/">Australian evidence-based ADHD treatment guidelines</a> reviewed the evidence and found medication treatment was more effective than non-pharmacological treatment in reducing core ADHD symptoms. But combined therapies were better than either treatment alone. </p>
<p>The United Kingdom’s National Institute of Clinical Excellence <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87/chapter/Recommendations#managing-adhd">recommends</a> ADHD management plans include treatments to address the child’s psychological, behavioural and educational or occupational needs.</p>
<p>There is <a href="https://adhdguideline.aadpa.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/ADHD-Clinical-Practice-Guide-041022.pdf">evidence to support</a> parenting training for children aged five to 17, and greater evidence for its use in children under five and families of children who also have <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831">oppositional defiant disorder</a> or <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/conduct-disorder">conduct disorder</a>, who require more intensive support. </p>
<p>But more research is needed about the duration and form of the parent training. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240065505">World Health Organization</a> also recommends parenting interventions because they strengthen the parent-child relationship, assist with alternatives to <a href="https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/harsh-discipline-increases-risk-of-children-developing-lasting-mental-health-problems">violent discipline</a> and reduce emotional problem behaviours in children. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/1-in-4-adults-think-smacking-is-necessary-to-properly-raise-kids-but-attitudes-are-changing-218837">1 in 4 adults think smacking is necessary to 'properly raise' kids. But attitudes are changing</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>How do you access parent training?</h2>
<p>Most psychologists offer family training and will charge you the same fee as a normal session. </p>
<p>You can also upskill with the free <a href="https://www.triplep-parenting.net.au/qld-en/free-parenting-courses/triple-p-online-under-12/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAvdCrBhBREiwAX6-6UlIdcIunlsTq4iB0-J6xZN1Bl3wA1Dj9bmN6GuXUG_InDq5HeYHPSxoCjuIQAvD_BwE#au-parents-register-now">Triple P Parenting Program</a> online. </p>
<p>Happy Families also has an online <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/pin-parenting-adhd-the-course">parenting ADHD course</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Mother sits on laptop in doorway" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566513/original/file-20231219-15-d4eqa7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">You can do parent training online.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/a-woman-sitting-on-the-floor-using-a-laptop-ddcLX7Iis44">Surface/Unsplash</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Bond University researchers are also conducting a free, <a href="https://research.bond.edu.au/en/persons/cher-mcgillivray/?_ga=2.48431014.1617715341.1703022536-540923691.1665619219">online group parenting program</a>, which includes positive parenting skills. This will be part of a randomised control trial to develop an evidenced-based parenting intervention.</p>
<p>The aim with all of these programs is to better understand the child’s life and have <a href="https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/GilbertCFT.pdf">compassionate</a> responses to their ADHD and behavioural symptoms. So rather than just focusing on their behaviour – which is an outward expression of an inward emotion – it encourages parents to embrace their uniqueness and help them in their struggles. </p>
<h2>How else can you support your child with ADHD?</h2>
<p>Set <a href="https://drsharonsaline.com/2021/05/18/parenting-older-teens-with-adhd-land-the-helicopter-and-focus-on-scaffolding/">boundaries</a> and be clear about your expectations, but also be compassionate to your child and pick your battles.</p>
<p>Break instructions into simple tasks and allow them to choose and focus on one thing they’re struggling with at a time. Brainstorm what they need to improve, or an area that frustrates them. This will often be organisation, time management and planning. Ask how you can help and stay calm. Celebrate the small wins along the way. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/my-kid-is-biting-hitting-and-kicking-im-at-my-wits-end-what-can-i-do-194639">My kid is biting, hitting and kicking. I’m at my wit’s end, what can I do?</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Be curious and seek to understand and connect with your child. Even though your relationship may feel strained or disconnected at times, remember disagreement need not destabilise the relationship. Children express their full emotions, without restraint, among people they feel most safe with. </p>
<p>Finally, ensure you look after yourself, connect with other parents who can support you. Try not to place your anxiety, stress and fears onto your child. Talk to a friend or psychologist so your child feels safe and able to share anything with you and knows you will cope.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217381/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Cher McGillivray does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Raising children with behavioural, developmental or learning difficulties can also make parenting more challenging. So how can parent training help?Cher McGillivray, Assistant Professor Psychology Department, Bond UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2189882024-01-04T16:35:25Z2024-01-04T16:35:25ZActive or overscheduled kids? How parents can consider benefits and risks of extracurricular activities<iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/active-or-overscheduled-kids-how-parents-can-consider-benefits-and-risks-of-extracurricular-activities" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>From hockey and dance to chess club, families can be pulled in many extracurricular directions. </p>
<p>It’s easy for parents to be overwhelmed by the choices of activities for their child — or also, how accessible these are, for reasons <a href="https://peopleforeducation.ca/report/inequities-persist-extracurriculars-clubs-activities-and-fundraising-in-ontarios-publicly-funded-schools/#chapter10">like financial barriers</a> or transportation challenges.</p>
<p>In the midst of this, parents receive advice to ensure their <a href="https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/exercise.html">kids move their bodies</a> and <a href="https://childmind.org/article/can-brain-training-really-kids/">challenge their brains</a>, <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_ways_to_help_kids_grow_their_creativity">be creative</a>, but also to carve out space for <a href="https://extension.sdstate.edu/why-spending-quality-time-your-children-important">family and downtime</a>. </p>
<p>A survey conducted by Ipsos for Global News found that on average, <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/4400116/extracurricular-activities-cost-canada-swimming-hockey/">parents paid $1,160 for their children’s extracurricular activities in the 2017-18 school year</a>.</p>
<p>Fortunately, there are resources or neighbourhood hubs that help identify available activities for kids — <a href="https://www.ourkids.net/programs">for instance, this resource allows</a> you to search by Canadian location, activity type and price (including some free activities). </p>
<p>To help families navigate extracurricular activities, we offer parents suggestions to help make informed decisions about finding a balance that aims to align with their family values and meet the individual needs of their children.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A pre-teen child playing a stringed instrument." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567584/original/file-20240102-29-8dbg9l.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Extracurricular opportunities also allow children to explore new skills and to discover new strengths.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Allison Shelley/EDUimages)</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Benefits of kids having a busy schedule</h2>
<p>The good side of extracurriculars is that research shows kids involved in activities are more likely to have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-019-01110-2">better friendships and fewer mental health problems</a>. </p>
<p>Participating in multiple activities can also provide structure and a routine for children, which helps them <a href="https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/about-us/article/importance-schedules-routines">feel in control of their environment</a> and predict what is coming next. </p>
<p>Having a lot of scheduled activities can also help your child learn valued time-management skills, like how to complete their homework because they have soccer practice later that evening.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/here-are-the-best-parents-to-have-around-according-to-youth-sport-coaches-118382">Here are the best parents to have around, according to youth sport coaches</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Friendships, belonging</h2>
<p>Extracurricular activities are also a great opportunity for children to develop and nurture their own interests while forming meaningful friendships. Participating in extracurricular activities can help kids find a sense of belonging. Some activities may be specifically relevant to your <a href="https://globalnews.ca/video/9944397/overscheduled-recognizing-signs-of-burnout-in-children-and-youth">child’s culture, community</a> or your own family concerns.</p>
<p>Extracurricular opportunities also allow children to explore new skills and to discover new strengths. Potentially, they learn routes to feeling accomplished that don’t depend on academic performance. When they participate and succeed at an activity they enjoy, <a href="https://www.crimsoneducation.org/ca/blog/benefits-of-extracurricular-activities/#benefits">this can help boost their self-confidence</a>.</p>
<p>Finally, participating in extracurricular activities can keep kids <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2017/05/10/the-myth-of-the-overscheduled-child/">away from screens</a>. A lot of research has shown the dangers of <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2790338">too much screen time</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/screen-time-predicts-delays-in-child-development-says-new-research-110016">Screen time predicts delays in child development, says new research</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A young child holding a soccer ball." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567618/original/file-20240102-19-10qxl7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Succeeding at an activity they enjoy can help boost a child’s self-confidence.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Importance of free play, downtime</h2>
<p>The bad side of overscheduling kids is that it can have <a href="https://www.care.com/c/pros-cons-scheduling-kids/">adverse effects</a> for some children and families. When kids are overscheduled, they often don’t have time for other critically important parts of life. </p>
<p>Overscheduling kids may get in the way of unstructured playtime, which research has shown is extremely valuable for children’s development. Unstructured free play has been shown to <a href="https://lynnwonders.medium.com/the-power-of-play-unstructured-play-for-child-development-and-beyond-6f46164cc1b7">bolster children’s creativity, increase their problem solving skills and allow children to demonstrate their own individuality</a></p>
<p>Additionally it is <a href="https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780312263393/theoverscheduledchild">important for children to have downtime</a> as it gives children a chance to pause, reflect and relax. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two children seen playing in snow." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567613/original/file-20240102-25-nmbu11.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Free play and downtime are important for children.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Yan Krukau)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Overscheduling kids may also quickly <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/40364197">overwhelm children</a> as they are balancing multiple activities on top of their schoolwork — and may leave <a href="https://globalnews.ca/video/9944397/overscheduled-recognizing-signs-of-burnout-in-children-and-youth">kids prone to stress</a>, physical complaints and self-reported anxiety and depression.</p>
<h2>Importance of family time</h2>
<p>When kids are overbooked there may be less quality family time. Something as simple as eating a family meal together may become increasingly difficult for families with scheduling conflicts. Connecting as a family is important. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.nurpra.2010.04.017">Research</a> has shown that when a family eats meals together, the children do better academically, and are less likely to suffer from mental health problems.</p>
<p>How can parents and caregivers find a balance between structured and unstructured time? </p>
<h2>Tips for parents and caregivers</h2>
<p><strong>Listen to your child:</strong> Encourage their interests and preferences. Monitor your child’s level of engagement. For example, are they excited to share what they learned or motivated to practise on their own? Are they withdrawn, moody or resistant to communicating about their activities? Consider whether your child enjoys the activity they are doing or how it suits their abilities.</p>
<p>Take some time to discuss which activities are most important and why. Variables might include: Which activities align with your family’s values? Which activities align most with your child’s interests or help nurture belonging or competence? Which activities suit your schedule? Use these discussions to establish priorities.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/as-kids-activities-reopen-parents-share-insights-about-keeping-families-active-during-covid-19-shutdowns-177518">As kids' activities reopen, parents share insights about keeping families active during COVID-19 shutdowns</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>Quality over quantity:</strong> Focus on the quality of experiences. Think about whether your child is getting something out of the experience like learning a valuable skill, building important relationships or habits or even simply enjoying themselves. Think about whether the activity is valuable enough that it’s worth the time it might take away from other important things like family time.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A family seen seated at a table eating a meal." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/567591/original/file-20240102-15-4ogs9k.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Dedicating time for family interactions is important.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Cottonbro Studio)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>Family time:</strong> Dedicate time for family interactions. You can do something as simple as prioritizing eating meals together — it doesn’t have to be only dinner, maybe family breakfast or family lunch depending on that day’s schedule.</p>
<p><strong>Stay flexible:</strong> Adjust schedules as interests evolve. It’s OK for kids to change their interests! If they find the activity they used to love is just not that interesting to them anymore it’s OK to shake things up. Overcommitting your child to an activity that they are no longer interested in increases the <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/when-to-let-kid-quit-sports_l_61f18840e4b04f9a12b7cd84">likelihood of burnout</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Stress & time management:</strong> Teach important life skills. Help your kids understand how to manage their schedules. This could include having a planner or agenda so they can lay out all their activities on top of any school commitments. Teach them how to balance their commitments so they have enough time to dedicate to schoolwork and extracurricular activities. </p>
<p>You can create a <a href="https://www.verywellfamily.com/setting-up-a-family-calender-that-keep-you-organized-5214498">family schedule</a> that’s visible to everyone to help keep track of family plans.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218988/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sheri Madigan receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation, an anonymous donor, and the Canada Research Chairs program.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Marissa Nivison does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Researchers with expertise in parent-child relationships and child development offer 5 tips about how parents or caregivers can find a balance between children’s structured and unstructured time.Marissa Nivison, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Department of Psychology, University of CalgarySheri Madigan, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, University of CalgaryLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2174932024-01-02T20:38:27Z2024-01-02T20:38:27ZParenting with ADHD: 7 practical tips for success<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566382/original/file-20231218-29-ec0niw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=40%2C70%2C6669%2C4386&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Parents with ADHD may have challenges, but also strengths, particularly when their child also has ADHD. In these families, parents may have more empathy and tolerance for their child’s difficulties and may be able to play more effectively with their child.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/parenting-with-adhd-7-practical-tips-for-success" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often goes undiagnosed in adults — including parents — but it has a significant impact on family life.</p>
<p>A parent with ADHD may struggle with time management and staying focused. They may appear to be in control, but their daily life can be chaotic with missed appointments, trouble remembering and enforcing rules at home and a struggle to meet responsibilities. </p>
<p>When under stress, a parent with ADHD may be prone to moments of frustration and anger in response to minor provocations. This emotional struggle can lead to harsh responses to children, which parents often regret once the moment has passed.</p>
<h2>Understanding ADHD in adults</h2>
<p>ADHD involves patterns of inattention (forgetfulness, being easily distracted), hyperactivity (fidgeting, restlessness) and impulsivity (interrupting conversations or speaking out of turn). <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291713002493">ADHD is highly heritable</a>, which mean parents with ADHD will often have a child with ADHD.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A man, a woman and two children reading a book together" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566385/original/file-20231218-19-776d0i.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Parents’ ADHD symptoms do not appear to impact their ability to be warm, caring and loving parents.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>An estimated <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2023.07.071">eight per cent of children worldwide have ADHD</a>, while only <a href="https://doi.org/10.7189%2Fjogh.11.04009">three per cent of adults meet criteria for ADHD</a>. One reason for this difference may be that symptoms of ADHD become milder as individuals age, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-018-1258-1">especially hyperactivity/impulsivity symptoms</a>.</p>
<p>While some individuals may no longer meet ADHD diagnostic criteria in adulthood, they can still experience significant life impairments. These include <a href="https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.2018.97">poorer physical health and socioeconomic outcomes compared to those with no history of ADHD</a>.</p>
<p>However, research has shown an increase <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2019.14344">over the last decade in diagnosis of adult ADHD</a>, potentially due to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/ije/dyt261">increased awareness of ADHD</a> and/or availability of clinical assessments. Several anecdotal reports indicate that parents only realized their own ADHD symptoms when <a href="https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-parent-child-diagnosis-stories/">seeking help for their child</a>.</p>
<h2>ADHD’s impact on parenting</h2>
<p>ADHD’s tendency to be passed down in families has important implications because it can affect the way parents interact with their children. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.05.003">Research</a> has found that ADHD symptoms in parents are associated with harsher parenting behaviours (like yelling at a child, overreactive and severe punishments) and more lax parenting practices (like inconsistent discipline or providing few or no boundaries). </p>
<p>This makes sense in light of the symptoms of ADHD, including difficulties with forgetfulness and impulsivity. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-019-1003-6">People with ADHD also often struggle with regulating intense emotions</a>. Together, these symptoms can make it more difficult for parents to remain calm and consistent when interacting with their child.</p>
<p>However, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.05.003">research also</a> indicates that parents’ ADHD symptoms do not appear to impact their ability to be warm, caring, and loving. </p>
<p>Other research also suggests there is a “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2016.1169538">similarity fit</a>” if a parent and child both have ADHD. In these families, parents with ADHD may also have more empathy and tolerance for their child’s difficulties and may be able to play more effectively with them because they can follow the pace of their child’s play.</p>
<h2>Practical strategies for parents with ADHD</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A woman and child on a sofa in a therapist's office, with a therapist seen from behind" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566384/original/file-20231218-15-hhu5h5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Seek professional support when needed for your own symptoms of ADHD.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Raising kids with ADHD can be challenging. Children with ADHD often benefit from specific strategies like setting clear rules and consistent boundaries, using a system that rewards appropriate behaviour, and spending lots of quality time together. These strategies <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/adhd.2019.27.3.1">can be difficult to maintain for parents dealing with their own ADHD</a>.</p>
<p>Here are some practical strategies that may be helpful to parents who have ADHD, or believe they might have ADHD:</p>
<p><strong>1. Seek professional support when needed for your own symptoms of ADHD</strong> </p>
<p>If you suspect you have ADHD but have not been diagnosed, consult a health-care professional. Family doctors and psychiatrists can offer medication options, while psychologists can provide cognitive behavioural therapy, <a href="https://div12.org/treatment/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-adult-adhd/">a highly effective treatment for adult ADHD</a>.</p>
<p><strong>2. Seek out supports for specific parenting issues</strong></p>
<p>There are some free research-backed courses available online such as <a href="https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting">this one</a>, and <a href="https://familyman.movember.com/en-au/">this one specifically designed for dads (though moms and other caregivers are welcome too!)</a>. </p>
<p>Another avenue of support is clinical psychologists or social workers who specialize in working with children and adolescents, and their parents. Look for someone who can provide <a href="https://effectivechildtherapy.org/concerns-symptoms-disorders/disorders/inattention-and-hyperactivity-adhd/">behavioural parent training, which is an evidence-based treatment for child ADHD</a>. </p>
<p>It’s helpful to let the therapist know that you are also struggling with ADHD symptoms. There is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/adhd.2019.27.3.1">some evidence</a> that adjustments — including flexible pacing (for example, focusing only on one thing during a session, lots of repetition), extra practice and supportive group therapy — may be particularly helpful for parents with ADHD.</p>
<p><strong>3. Be gracious to yourself</strong> </p>
<p>ADHD involves certain areas of the brain, and remember, it’s highly heritable. If you have a child with ADHD, it’s not because of your parenting or anything you did. </p>
<p>Also, parenting is a hard job that’s made even harder when you are experiencing symptoms of ADHD and/or when your child has ADHD. It makes sense that things can feel out of control sometimes! You are allowed to experience negative emotions, and to ask for support from family and friends if you are able. </p>
<p>Working on developing effective coping techniques (either with or without professional help) may have the bonus effect of providing an opportunity for your child to observe and learn through your example.</p>
<p><strong>4. Use organizational aids to help manage your ADHD symptoms</strong></p>
<p>Instead of relying solely on memory, individuals with ADHD often find it effective to keep a calendar, planner, daily agenda or a to-do list. Creating an external record of tasks and appointments, even if you don’t check it constantly, can increase the chances of remembering these responsibilities. Research shows that, for individuals with high levels of ADHD symptoms, using these types of compensatory strategies was associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12402-016-0205-6">fewer negative parenting practices</a>.</p>
<p><strong>5. Think proactively about recurring situations</strong></p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Cropped image of a pop-it toy in a child's hands, and two other toys in the background." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566383/original/file-20231218-27-dorj7s.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">If you notice your child always acts out when bored, you can prepare an activity bag to take with you in these situations.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>For difficult parenting situations that seem to happen again and again, it can be helpful to think back to see if there are common issues that can be addressed proactively. Think about specific problem behaviours you experience with your child, as well as their context (such as where you were, and what happened before and after). </p>
<p>This may help identify common triggers that you can modify proactively the next time you are in a similar situation (see <a href="https://depts.washington.edu/uwhatc/PDF/TF-%20CBT/pages/8%20Parent%20Management%20Training/Tracking%20Behavior%20-Detailed.pdf">this worksheet)</a>. As a simple example: if you notice your child always acts out when bored, you can prepare an activity bag to take with you in these situations.</p>
<p><strong>6. Consider how you think about your child</strong></p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054716669590">Research</a> suggests that parents with ADHD tend to attribute more blame to children (for instance: “my child spilled the milk on purpose”) compared to parents without ADHD. These types of attributions <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2016.1144191">can make a parent more prone to responding harshly</a>. </p>
<p>If you notice yourself having these kinds of thoughts, it might be helpful to pause and think through other possible reasons for your child’s behaviour (for example, they were too excited and spilled the milk by accident). </p>
<p>Research also suggests that <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2016.1144191">it can be helpful to notice times when your child is behaving well, and give them credit for this behaviour</a>.</p>
<p><strong>7. Remember your strengths</strong></p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.05.003">Adults with ADHD are fully capable of being warm, loving and highly engaged parents</a>. Positive parenting is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13764">consistently linked with improved child mental health</a>, so it is worth focusing on building these more positive aspects of your relationship with your child. </p>
<p>By implementing effective strategies for managing ADHD, and seeking out resources when needed, parents with ADHD can create a positive and fulfilling family life, and be a strong supportive source for their children who may be struggling with similar issues.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217493/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sheri Madigan receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation, an anonymous donor, and the Canada Research Chairs program.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>André Plamondon and Joanne Park do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Parenting with ADHD presents unique challenges but also strengths. By using strategies for managing ADHD, and seeking resources when needed, parents can create a positive and fulfilling family life.Joanne Park, Assistant Professor, Department of Psychology, Mount Royal UniversityAndré Plamondon, Full Professor, Faculty of Educational Sciences, Université LavalSheri Madigan, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, University of CalgaryLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2189952024-01-01T14:45:14Z2024-01-01T14:45:14ZTrying to be more mindful in 2024? Try these tips for being mindful with your partner and kids<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565609/original/file-20231213-19-m2xack.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=16%2C0%2C5591%2C3741&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Mindfulness means being attentive to those around us and not just ourselves.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/trying-to-be-more-mindful-in-2024-try-these-tips-for-being-mindful-with-your-partner-and-kids" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>With the new year comes new year’s resolutions. Many of us might be making those familiar promises to be healthier, go on that trip we’ve always wanted to take or learn a new language. But if you’re among the many wanting to be more mindful in 2024, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/play-your-way-sane/202012/the-ultimate-new-year-s-resolution-mindfulness">you’re certainly not alone</a>. </p>
<p>Mindfulness involves being attentive to the present moment and navigating experiences without judgement. It means being more attentive to our own needs as well as the needs and well-being of those around us. </p>
<p>Although much psychology research has shown that being mindful can help you feel better mentally and emotionally, recent evidence suggests that self-centred mindfulness can have a downside, particularly when it comes to our social lives. </p>
<h2>A dark side to mindfulness?</h2>
<p>In its Buddhist origins, <a href="https://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/loving-kindness">mindfulness involves showing compassion towards yourself and all living things</a>. However, western psychological perspectives often highlight a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-019-01500-x">self-focused form of mindfulness</a>, encouraging self-compassion and self-acceptance while ignoring compassion towards others.</p>
<p>There is a good reason that self-focused mindfulness has so long been emphasized in psychology research. This form of mindfulness has been shown to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003481">improve symptoms of depression</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.992575">increase empathy</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2015.01.006">improve well-being</a>, among a host of other benefits.</p>
<p>However, while being compassionate to yourself might sound like a great new year’s resolution, recent research has shown a darker side to this self-focused mindfulness. It may lead you to prioritize your own emotional well-being over the well-being of those in your social circle, leaving them by the wayside. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A black woman meditating in a park." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565928/original/file-20231214-17-hryv8y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">In its Buddhist origins, mindfulness involves showing compassion towards yourself and all living things. However, western psychological perspectives often highlight a self-focused form of mindfulness.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>For example, there is evidence that people who practise mindfulness meditation are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000298">less likely to feel guilt or want to apologize</a> when they have hurt others. Other research has found that mindfully self-compassionate jailed inmates are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217717243">more likely to deny responsibility and show less sensitivity</a> to the consequences of their criminal behaviour. </p>
<p>Across seven studies testing mindfulness programs for incarcerated adults, researchers have further found that, compared to controls, those trained in mindfulness showed <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0093854819891457">no significantly reduced risk for criminal behaviour</a>. </p>
<p>These recent studies suggest that we need a balanced view of mindfulness, emphasizing the interpersonal aspects, not just self-focused views, to extend benefits beyond ourselves. </p>
<h2>Interpersonal mindfulness</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-017-0859-y">Interpersonal mindfulness</a>, which involves showing compassionate attention to others, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-018-1057-2">is linked to having less stress and better relationships</a>. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.110806">Paying attention to your actions</a> and their consequences is especially important for being kind to others. Being receptive to the personal experiences of others can also make us <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ajp.2012.07.008">more empathetic towards them</a>. </p>
<p>So how can we be mindful this year to benefit not just ourselves but those around us? Here are some tips to help you become more mindful in your relationships with your partner or children. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Couple in park holing hands." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/566389/original/file-20231218-17-q8e97y.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Extending mindful compassion and empathy towards your partner can be particularly helpful for your relationship.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Practise mindful compassion with your partner</h2>
<p>Romantic partners can be a source of tremendous happiness and security as well as disappointment and hurt. By committing to being more interpersonally mindful with your partner, you better enjoy the upsides and navigate the downsides of your relationship. </p>
<p>Extending mindful compassion and empathy towards your partner can be particularly <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12065">helpful for your relationship</a>. Even if you are heading towards a potentially stressful life event, for example if you are <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/article/emotionally-prepare-become-parent.html">expecting a baby</a>, being mindfully aware of each other can help you navigate stress and challenges. </p>
<p>Being <a href="https://ggie.berkeley.edu/practice/loving-kindness-for-adults/#tab__2">loving and kind</a> towards your partner is also helpful. This could include trying to understand how your partner’s emotional state or their day might influence their tone or actions. Staying attentive and aware during date nights or even during arguments will make both of you feel acknowledged and seen, making for a more satisfying relationship. </p>
<p>Practising these mindful skills can help you and your partner <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7894(04)80028-5">feel closer and more connected</a>, benefitting not just yourself but also your relationship. </p>
<h2>Use mindful parenting with your kids</h2>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="An Asian man playing with a young boy. Both are smiling" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/565929/original/file-20231214-29-ihb7rq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Being emotionally in tune with your child can bring you closer together and support your child’s emotional development.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>It can be so easy to fall into automatic habits when raising our kids. Using <a href="https://usfblogs.usfca.edu/parentline/2016/08/19/should-we-start-meditating-now-what-is-mindful-parenting-and-how-to-get-it/">mindful parenting</a> can help you to make conscious choices about how to respond to your child, <a href="https://doi.org/10.11124/JBISRIR-2016-2314">nourishing their well-being and mental health</a>. </p>
<p>That means <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-015-9978-x">accepting and not judging yourself or your child</a>. This can include accepting your own strengths and shortcomings as a parent while also accepting who your child is, even if things are not going your way. When your kids don’t listen, be compassionate by trying to understand why, which can help you to better identify the cause and address their behaviour. </p>
<p>Also try to <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-well-do-you-know-your-own-feelings-31309">keep aware of your own emotions</a> as well as your child’s. Listen to your child with full attention to help identify how they are feeling. Being attentive to how you’re feeling and how that’s affecting your responses to your child can help you better assess their needs in the moment. </p>
<p>Being emotionally in tune with your child <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-parents-feel-about-feelings-can-deeply-affect-a-childs-development-200729">can bring you closer together and support your child’s emotional development</a>, and using mindful parenting might even <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15295192.2022.2049601">help your child to be more mindful</a>. </p>
<p>With the new year comes the opportunity to improve ourselves as partners, colleagues, family members and friends. Perhaps being mindful was already part of your new year’s resolution, or after reading this, you have added it to your list. Whatever your resolutions might be, remember that mindfulness means being attentive to those around us and not just ourselves.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218995/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Hali Kil receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nathaniel Johnson receives funding from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research. </span></em></p>Being more mindful to our own needs as well as those of the people in our lives can help us be more compassionate and attentive.Hali Kil, Assistant Professor, Psychology, Simon Fraser UniversityNathaniel Johnson, PhD Candidate, Developmental Psychology, Simon Fraser UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2183372023-12-10T14:30:54Z2023-12-10T14:30:54ZImproved employment policies can encourage fathers to be more involved at home<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564397/original/file-20231207-15-xwseva.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C14%2C4131%2C3083&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Too few Canadian fathers take parental leave. That's because parental leave is framed as an employment policy rather than as care/work policy that promotes greater sharing of both paid and unpaid care work between parents. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/improved-employment-policies-can-encourage-fathers-to-be-more-involved-at-home" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>While the COVID-19 pandemic had many detrimental <a href="https://theconversation.com/income-inequality-and-covid-19-we-are-in-the-same-storm-but-not-in-the-same-boat-173400">socio-economic</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-is-not-the-great-equalizer-race-matters-133867">health</a> impacts, one silver lining has been the influence of remote work on men’s involvement in unpaid work at home. </p>
<p>Since the first pandemic lockdowns in 2020, between 25 and 40 per cent of the Canadian labour force has shifted to <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/36-28-0001/2022008/article/00001-eng.htm">working remotely</a>. Evidence suggests <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/36-28-0001/2021010/article/00001-eng.htm">remote and hybrid work arrangements are here to stay</a>; 80 per cent of those who work remotely want to continue working at least several days per week at home. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/13668803.2023.2271646">Our research</a> finds that Canadian fathers who worked remotely during the pandemic reported higher levels of involvement in household work and child care. Remote work and other flexible work policies may play a crucial role in encouraging a more equitable distribution of household and care work within families.</p>
<p>Remote work isn’t the only policy pathway that facilitates men’s involvement at home. Our research finds that fathers who have previously taken parental leave report sharing a wider set of household work and child-care tasks with their partners.</p>
<p>But there is a catch: access to these policies is limited in ways that diminish their full potential. Part of the problem stems from the way parental leave and remote work policies are structured.</p>
<p>They are framed as employment policies, rather than as care/work policies that can promote greater sharing of both paid and unpaid care work between parents. This framing limits access to both sets of policies.</p>
<h2>Parental leave in Canada</h2>
<p>While Canada is regarded as a country with generous parental leave provisions, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/sep/03/canada-us-maternity-leave-policy-differences">especially when compared to the United States</a>, its parental leave policies can be exclusionary. </p>
<p>Outside of Québec, parental leave programs have low wage replacement rates and restrictive eligibility criteria. Paternity leave is both low-paid (five to eight weeks at a 33 to 55 per cent wage-replacement rate) and contingent on mothers (or birthing parents) also taking leave rather than being designed as an individual entitlement. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-one-province-got-80-per-cent-of-fathers-to-take-paternity-leave-118737">How one province got 80 per cent of fathers to take paternity leave</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/27081267">These differences</a> exclude many low-income parents from receiving <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2020-091">parental leave benefits</a>.</p>
<p>In addition, top-up wages are highly uneven throughout Canada. Some employers don’t enhance the wage replacement rates for parental leave (70 to 75 per cent in Québec and 33 to 55 per cent in the rest of Canada). </p>
<p>Others, especially those in federally regulated industries, the public sector and large private sector companies, top-up wage replacement rates to as high as 93 per cent. In many contexts, however, top-ups are limited solely to mothers, which disincentivizes fathers from taking parental leave.</p>
<h2>Flexible work arrangements in Canada</h2>
<p>Flexible work arrangements have a less complex policy architecture than parental leave policies, but they share its drawback of uneven access. Aside from those who are self-employed, the decision-making power for remote work lies with employers.</p>
<p>As of December 2017, employees in all federally regulated sectors in Canada can <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/corporate/portfolio/labour/programs/labour-standards/flexible-work-arrangements.html#h2.3">request a flexible work arrangement under the Canada Labour Code</a> after six months of continuous employment.</p>
<p>However, managers maintain the right to refuse requests for flexible work arrangements if they believe their use will be detrimental to the quality or quantity of an employee’s work. This results in different standards being applied to different employees and means that access depends on managers’ opinions about remote work and its effect on productivity.</p>
<p>While there is no <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/10/business/remote-work-effects.html">clear-cut evidence</a> that working remotely hinders productivity, stereotypes of remote workers as unambitious persist <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/josi.12015">and prevent men</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-018-2036-7">and women</a> alike from gaining access.</p>
<h2>Who benefits from these policies?</h2>
<p>Constraints around policy access and eligibility mean parental leave and remote work are set up to benefit those who already enjoy socio-economic privileges, such as those who receive hefty wage top-ups and those in high-ranking positions who don’t need to worry about managerial biases. </p>
<p>To ensure more people benefit from parental leave and flexible work policies, our study suggests they must provide greater support for more people’s work and care lives.</p>
<p>In terms of flexible work arrangements, the right to remote work should acknowledge the diverse caregiving needs and responsibilities of all individuals, including fathers. One step in this direction would be to frame flexible work policies as a human right available to all workers, <a href="https://www.rotman.utoronto.ca/Connect/Rotman-MAG/Issues/2023/Spring-2023/Spring-2023-Feature-Articles/Spring_23_Equality">regardless of parental or gender status</a>, to mitigate the stigma associated with working remotely and encourage widespread use.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A baby in a mint-green sleeper sits in her father's lap while he reads her a book." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C5000%2C3323&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/564384/original/file-20231207-21-zdsr71.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Remote work privileges should take into account the caregiving obligations of everyone, including fathers.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>When it comes to parental leave, the evidence is clear: from 2019 to 2020, <a href="https://www.leavenetwork.org/fileadmin/user_upload/k_leavenetwork/annual_reviews/2023/Canada2023.pdf">only 23.5 per cent of recent fathers</a> living outside of Québec took (or intended to take) parental or paternity leave, compared to 85.6 percent of fathers in Québec. If the rest of Canada adopted Québec’s more inclusive policy framework, we could narrow the gendered gap in parental leave access.</p>
<p>While the COVID-19 pandemic created extraordinary uncertainty and unpredictability in employment, it also introduced new ways of thinking about <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cars.12315">paid and unpaid work</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2020-077">how to support people’s work and care lives</a>. </p>
<p>If more Canadians are to harness the benefits of parental leave and remote work, we need to design employment and care policies in ways that recognize individuals of all gender identities as not just workers, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2020-091">but as caregivers and care receivers</a> throughout their lives.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218337/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kim de Laat receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Alyssa K Gerhardt receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andrea Doucet receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.</span></em></p>If more Canadian fathers are to harness the benefits of parental leave and remote work, we need to design employment and care policies in ways that recognize every family’s unique needs.Kim de Laat, Sociologist and Assistant Professor at the Stratford School of Interaction Design and Business, University of WaterlooAlyssa K Gerhardt, PhD Candidate, Department of Sociology and Social Anthropology, Dalhousie UniversityAndrea Doucet, Professor and Canada Research Chair in Gender, Work, and Care, Brock UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2167242023-12-07T21:08:46Z2023-12-07T21:08:46ZWhen ‘rights’ divide: Trans kids need supportive families<iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/when-rights-divide-trans-kids-need-supportive-families" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>Protests in support of “parental rights” have taken place across Canada in recent months. Many taking part in these demonstrations have railed against “gender ideology” in school curricula and <a href="https://canadians.org/analysis/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-parental-rights-protests/#">mixed bathrooms</a>. </p>
<p>Much of this rhetoric is based upon the transphobic fallacy that age-appropriate inclusive health education will somehow manufacture queer and trans children all over the place. </p>
<p>The rights of young people to determine their identities are being stripped away, beginning in <a href="https://theconversation.com/new-brunswicks-lgbtq-safe-schools-debate-makes-false-opponents-of-parents-and-teachers-207600">New Brunswick</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/saskatchewan-naming-and-pronoun-policy-the-best-interests-of-children-must-guide-provincial-parental-consent-rules-212431">Saskatchewan</a>. The rights of a trans and non-binary child or youth to be referred to by their name, and to be treated with respect by having their gender affirmed, are being eroded across Canada. </p>
<p>These policies put children and youth at risk, and they reinforce a false opposition between “parents’ rights” and children’s rights. </p>
<h2>Pitting parents against their kids</h2>
<p>Lacking support from family is one of the strongest predictors of trans and non-binary youth <a href="https://transpulsecanada.ca/results/report-health-and-well-being-among-trans-and-non-binary-youth/">attempting suicide</a>. Let that sink in. A trans kid’s family — their support, acceptance, dismissal or rejection — are the most important factor in whether a young person considers ending their life. </p>
<p>More than 10 years ago, researchers had already made strong connections between the support that trans youth received within their families and self-esteem, depression, suicidality, satisfaction with life and long-term overall <a href="http://transpulseproject.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Impacts-of-Strong-Parental-Support-for-Trans-Youth-vFINAL.pdf">mental health</a>.</p>
<p>The term “dead name” is used to denote the pre-transition name of a trans or non-binary person. This term exists for a reason, because forcing a child to deny their gender identity can cause their mental health to suffer.</p>
<p>If parents, educators, schools and provincial governments really care about the health and well-being of our youth, we must oppose enacting policies that create a false dichotomy between the “rights” of parents and the rights of children and youth. We must instead help families of trans and non-binary youth to come together instead of be torn apart.</p>
<p>Respondents in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2014.886321">research focused on minority stress and trans youth</a> reported daily bullying in school and higher levels of sexual and physical assault, with poorer mental and physical health overall compared to non-trans participants.</p>
<p>Data indicates 59 per cent of transgender and non-binary people in Canada <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/26895269.2023.2278064">have reported being misgendered daily</a>, an experience that can be devastating to a young person <a href="https://transpulsecanada.ca/results/report-health-and-well-being-among-non-binary-people/">coming out into themselves</a>. </p>
<h2>Dangerous silencing</h2>
<p>Silences can be dangerous. I didn’t even hear the word “lesbian” growing up in 1980s, conservative Canadian suburbs. In this shiny, white, middle-class Protestant world, silence about all forms of difference was a constant. But when I moved into the world I realized how our lives were veiled in layers of embedded racism, homophobia and <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3173834">compulsory heterosexuality</a>.</p>
<p>To be clear, the silence and invisibility of lesbians, and even the invisibility of the word “lesbian” did not stop me from becoming a great big, card-carrying queer. </p>
<p>However, hearing the word at the right time might have stopped me from marrying a gay man at 19 and embarking upon a lavender marriage that was doomed from its inception. Silently and unconsciously we did what we “knew” to be the only road we could travel: we bought a house, we had babies, we spun through the tidal force of sanctioned heterosexuality and we still came out the other side flaming like rockets in the night, queers. </p>
<p>The invisibility we experienced and faced only made the road to authentic living and loving, much longer and harder, and it created so much more collateral damage. I tell this story because the way trans and non-binary youth are being repressed and made invisible today reminds me of the abyss of invisibility I faced. </p>
<p>So, when we pit the “rights” of parents against the rights of children and youth to have a safe, accepting and affirming family and school environment, we are assuming that these are in opposition. </p>
<p>Instead, we need to explore these questions through a systems lens. That is, we need to consider the whole: parents, siblings, the trans/non-binary youth, the school system, all of the systems in which the children or youth are swimming. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A person holding another person's hand consolingly" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/563473/original/file-20231204-17-96yucz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">We must help families of trans and non-binary youth to come together instead of be torn apart.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Overcoming transphobia with family support</h2>
<p>There are situations where parents, teachers or others in a child’s life are irreconcilably transphobic, and this is not going to shift. However, in my extensive experience as a queer, gender non-conforming clinical psychologist, I have seen parents come around and find a way to affirm their child’s gender. </p>
<p>This was achieved through persistence, education and empathy. I had to make space for a parent’s fears, and even space for the transphobic comments and the concerns they produced (while shielding their children from those conversations).</p>
<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/family-support-protects-trans-young-people-but-their-families-need-support-too-202743">The family must continue to show up</a>, trying to find their way to their child. My job was to protect their child from their parents’ fear and transphobia while holding the parents as they tried to find their way. When this hard work by all parties was successful, the well-being of that child or youth was vastly improved and they finally had the support they needed to find their way through a frequently transphobic world. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-parents-can-support-a-child-who-comes-out-as-trans-by-conquering-their-own-fears-following-their-childs-lead-and-tolerating-ambiguity-158275">How parents can support a child who comes out as trans – by conquering their own fears, following their child's lead and tolerating ambiguity</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>I have also worked with families who could not overcome their views. A father who simply could not let go of rigid Catholic theological interpretations that cast his child as damaged, a mother who had experienced her own traumas in ways that made it very hard for her to be flexible, leaving her child out in the cold. </p>
<p>I have worked with many, many families over decades and most of the time, they can find their way to accepting and affirming their trans and non-binary child. For the few who can’t, what do we do in those situations? We certainly must not enact <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick-trans-lgbtq-higgs-1.6889957">laws and policies</a> to “protect” their “rights.” </p>
<p>Instead, we need find ways to support those young people whose parents deny their existence, experience and identity. So many just need to hear that they exist and learn that they are okay, just as they are.</p>
<p><em>Miles Cooke and Jamie Zarn, research assistants on Heather MacIntosh’s research team at McGill University, also contributed to this article.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216724/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Heather B MacIntosh receives funding from SSHRC</span></em></p>In the wake of transphobic protests, the ‘rights’ of parents are being falsely positioned in opposition to the rights of transgender and non-binary children rather than focusing on supporting families.Heather B MacIntosh, Associate Professor, Director, MScA Couple and Family Therapy, School of Social Work, McGill UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2169062023-12-06T22:04:49Z2023-12-06T22:04:49Z5 expert tips on how to look after your baby in a heatwave<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562908/original/file-20231201-21-qxkftk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=1%2C0%2C997%2C667&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/baby-being-washed-face-down-during-2217329091">b-finity/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Extreme heat events are becoming more <a href="https://www.acs.gov.au/pages/heatwaves">frequent and intense</a> in Australia. This can cause illness or worsen existing conditions. During hot weather, hospital admissions and deaths <a href="https://www.climatechange.environment.nsw.gov.au/impacts-climate-change/weather-and-oceans/heatwaves">increase</a>.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1732139339596083256"}"></div></p>
<p>Babies are among those particularly vulnerable.</p>
<p>Looking after a baby during extreme heat takes a little planning and a lot of patience. Here are five practical tips.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/extreme-weather-is-landing-more-australians-in-hospital-and-heat-is-the-biggest-culprit-216440">Extreme weather is landing more Australians in hospital – and heat is the biggest culprit</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Why are babies particularly at risk?</h2>
<p>Babies are more vulnerable to extreme heat for several reasons.</p>
<p>They have a <a href="https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abe5017">higher metabolic rate</a> than older children and adults, so their body generates more internal heat. </p>
<p>They also have a larger surface area compared with the volume of their body. So they <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6770410">adsorb heat</a> more easily from the environment. </p>
<p>Their sweat glands are <a href="https://www.livescience.com/newborns-no-tears-or-sweat.html">not fully developed</a>. So they cannot lose heat by sweating as easily as older children and adults.</p>
<p>Babies also have to rely on adults to keep them safe when the weather is hot. They cannot move to a cooler place or drink more fluids without help from their parents or caregivers.</p>
<h2>1. Plan ahead</h2>
<p>Knowing if hot weather is coming allows you to prepare and avoid, or reduce, your baby’s exposure to heat. </p>
<p>So keep an eye on forecasts from the <a href="http://www.bom.gov.au/">Bureau of Meteorology</a> (including its <a href="http://www.bom.gov.au/australia/heatwave/">heatwave warning service</a>). Your local <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/local">ABC radio station</a> broadcasts emergency information, and you can search for emergency conditions on the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/emergency">ABC website</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/worried-about-heat-and-fire-this-summer-heres-how-to-prepare-212443">Worried about heat and fire this summer? Here's how to prepare</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>2. Keep your home cool</h2>
<p>On hot days, close windows, blinds and curtains early in the day and keep outside doors shut. If you live in a multi-storey building, stay downstairs where the air will be cooler. </p>
<p>Air conditioning will keep you cool if you have it. Staying in one part of the house and closing doors to the rest, can make air conditioning more effective and reduce your energy use. Take care to ensure rooms do not become too cold and ensure air flow from air conditioners or fans is not directed at your baby. That’s because babies also have difficulty <a href="https://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/warmth-and-temperature-regulation">regulating their temperature</a> in the cold and their temperature can quickly drop. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Fan on chest of drawers, cot in background" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562923/original/file-20231201-25-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Make sure your fan isn’t blowing directly at your baby.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/modern-fan-on-commode-baby-room-1897747780">New Africa/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Power blackouts are <a href="https://www.energynetworks.com.au/resources/fact-sheets/heatwaves-and-energy-supply-explained/#:%7E:text=Heatwaves%20are%20three%20or%20more,faults%2C%20bushfires%20or%20generator%20faults.">common</a> during extreme heat events. So, think about what you’ll do if you can’t use air conditioning because of a blackout.</p>
<p>If you cannot keep cool at home, try to find somewhere you can go that is air conditioned. This could be a public building, such as a library or shopping centre, or the home of a friend or relative. </p>
<p>Some communities have “<a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/no-way-to-escape-the-heat-push-for-havens-to-stop-australia-s-silent-killer-20230816-p5dwzl.html">heat havens</a>” or “<a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/homes-aren-t-safe-western-sydney-prepares-evacuation-shelters-for-hot-summers-20220505-p5aioj.html">heat shelters</a>” where vulnerable people, including pregnant women and families with babies, can go during extreme heat.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/evacuating-with-a-baby-heres-what-to-put-in-your-emergency-kit-127026">Evacuating with a baby? Here's what to put in your emergency kit</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>3. Take care if you need to go out</h2>
<p>If you do have to go out, ensure your baby is sheltered from the sun and heat as much as possible. </p>
<p>Use a sunshade on car windows to protect you baby from direct sunlight. Never leave a baby or young child <a href="https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/safety/car-pedestrian-safety/never-leave-children-in-cars">in a parked car</a>.</p>
<p>You can help keep your baby cool in their pram by covering it with a light, damp cloth and spraying it with water every 15-20 minutes. Don’t let the cloth dry out completely because this can <a href="https://theconversation.com/covering-your-babys-pram-with-a-dry-cloth-can-increase-the-temperature-by-almost-4-degrees-heres-what-to-do-instead-199099">increase the temperature</a> in the pram.</p>
<p>Once the day starts to cool down, playing with water in a shady spot outside is a great way to cool down. Always supervise babies in or near water.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1629708787866038272"}"></div></p>
<h2>4. Offer babies extra fluids</h2>
<p>Babies need extra fluids during hot weather, but their pattern of feeding can change when it’s hot.</p>
<p>For breastfed babies this often means they start fussing or crying at the breast after just a few minutes, then want to breastfeed again as soon as 30-40 minutes later. </p>
<p>Mothers may worry their breasts have run out of milk, but they haven’t. These short feeds provide milk that is <a href="http://www.foodandnutritionjournal.org/volume2number2/importance-of-exclusive-breastfeeding-and-complementary-feeding-among-infants/">higher in water</a> than a longer breastfeed. </p>
<p>Just like adults, babies don’t want to eat a full meal when they’re hot. Once the day starts to cool down, most babies will have several <a href="https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breastfeeding-hot-weather">longer, more satisfying feeds</a>.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1730246909317579131"}"></div></p>
<p>Similarly, formula-fed babies will often take less milk at a feed during the heat of the day but look for another feed sooner than usual.</p>
<p>Instead of trying to make a baby finish a whole bottle, try splitting their usual feed into two. If the baby finishes the first bottle, you can top it up from the second bottle or keep it in the fridge and warm it up again when they start <a href="https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/feeding-cues">looking hungry</a> again. Just like breastfed babies, they will usually be looking for slightly bigger feeds as the day starts to cool. </p>
<p>Do NOT give babies under six months old water as this can make them very ill. Their kidneys are not mature and <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-water-babies-idUSCOL16728820080521">cannot handle the extra water</a>.</p>
<p>You can tell your baby is getting enough fluids if they have <a href="https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/baby-getting-enough-breastmilk">five heavy, wet disposable nappies</a> in 24 hours, their urine is pale yellow and doesn’t have a strong smell. </p>
<p>If this isn’t happening, your baby <a href="https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/environment/beattheheat/Pages/babies-children-hot-weather.aspx">needs more fluids</a> and you need to offer more frequent feeds. </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Baby chewing on water melon outside in grassy garden or park" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=397&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562925/original/file-20231201-23-pkaqll.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=499&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">For older babies, try offering watermelon or strawberries.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/little-boy-eating-watermelon-red-garden-459152617">Dudaeva/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>From six months, babies can be given small amounts of <a href="https://www.health.tas.gov.au/publications/drinking-water-babies-fact-sheet">cooled boiled water</a> in addition to breastmilk or formula. You can also offer foods containing lots of water, such as watermelon or strawberries, or iceblocks made with breastmilk, formula or diluted fruit juice. Chewing on a cold, wet face washer is another way older babies can get extra fluids.</p>
<p>Remember to look after yourself when the weather gets hot. Have a glass of water at least every time your baby feeds. If you are breastfeeding and the heat makes skin contact uncomfortable for you and your baby, you can put a light cloth or damp hand-towel between you, or you can lie down to feed so your baby is next to your body instead of on it.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/health-check-how-do-i-tell-if-im-dehydrated-107437">Health Check: how do I tell if I'm dehydrated?</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>5. Prepare for sleep</h2>
<p>Everyone struggles to sleep in hot weather. A lukewarm bath may help your baby cool off enough to fall asleep. However, avoid cold baths as your baby’s temperature may drop too much. </p>
<p>Nobody sleeps well on hot nights and we all need to catch up on sleep when the weather cools.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>In extreme heat, if your baby won’t feed well, is limp or floppy, has dull sunken eyes and a sunken soft spot in the skull (fontanelle), seek medical treatment straight away. In an emergency, call 000.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216906/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Karleen Gribble is project lead on the Australian Breastfeeding Association's Community Protection for Infants and Young Children in Bushfire Emergencies Project and is an Australian Breastfeeding Association Educator and Counsellor. Karleen is also on the steering committee of the international interagency collaboration the Infant and Young Child Feeding in Emergencies Core Group and has been involved in the development of international guidance and training on infant and young child feeding in emergencies for over a decade.
</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Michelle Hamrosi is the community engagement officer on the Australian Breastfeeding Association's Community Protection for Infants and Young Children in Bushfire Emergencies Project. Michelle is also a general practitioner and an international board certified lactation consultant. Michelle volunteers as a breastfeeding counsellor and group leader for the Australian Breastfeeding Association Eurobodalla group. She is also a member of Doctors for the Environment, Climate and Health Alliance and Australian Parents for Climate Action.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nina Chad is an infant and young child feeding consultant for the World Health Organization. She is a member of the Public Health Association of Australia, the World Public Health Nutrition Association, and the Australian Breastfeeding Association.</span></em></p>Looking after a baby during extreme heat events takes a little planning and a lot of patience. Here are some practical steps you can take.Karleen Gribble, Adjunct Associate Professor, School of Nursing and Midwifery, Western Sydney UniversityMichelle Hamrosi, Clinical lecturer, Rural Clinical School, Australian National UniversityNina Jane Chad, Research Fellow, University of Sydney School of Public Health, University of SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2136002023-12-04T18:57:48Z2023-12-04T18:57:48ZHoliday co-parenting after separation or divorce: 6 legal and practical tips for surviving and thriving<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562825/original/file-20231130-19-2sk2bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C140%2C6720%2C3732&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Working together, we can create a positive holiday experience for our children.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The approaching holiday season will be the first post-split for Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Sophie Grégoire, who <a href="https://nationalpost.com/feature/justin-sophie-split-how-marriage-started-ended">separated in summer 2023</a>. It may also be the first for you. </p>
<p>Welcome to co-parenting, an increasingly common social reality. Every year, there are about <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220309/dq220309a-eng.htm">50,000 divorces across Canada</a>, and most of those involve children. </p>
<p>Annually, thousands of Canadian families join a growing group: divorced or separated co-parents who have to collaborate about parenting through the holiday season. This situation is increasingly our new national normal, but that does not mean it isn’t hard.</p>
<p>Whatever you celebrate, as the holiday season approaches, like many parents, you likely experience <a href="https://mottpoll.org/reports/tis-season-stressed">holiday stress</a> as well as festive feelings. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/why-we-need-french-style-divorce-for-lockdown-break-ups-138195">Why we need French-style divorce for lockdown break-ups</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Holiday traditions involve expectations that can be especially challenging for parents post-divorce or post-separation. I don’t know anyone whose winter wonderland holiday fantasy involved being divorced. Then again, usually, the holiday season just before separation was filled with conflict, and you now face the potential of a more peaceful reality. </p>
<p>However, while separation can help reduce household conflict, it can also lead to new forms of battle. <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/justice-delays-canada-courts-ontario-1.6900147">Family courts across the country are backlogged</a>, affected both by delays following pandemic closures and a shortage of staff and judges. This means they are especially full of urgent court proceedings as the festive season approaches. </p>
<p>Proactive planning can help prevent our families from adding to the backlog in the family courts. It can also keep your money in your own holiday present budget and out of the pockets of lawyers like me.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A woman in Santa hat looks shocked looking at her cellphone while holding a card." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562820/original/file-20231130-15-dxuvr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Proactive planning can help prevent families from adding to the backlog in the family courts and keep your money in your own holiday budget and out of the pockets of lawyers.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Co-parenting is now a post-separation norm</h2>
<p>While it was exceptional when I started practising law 20 years ago, co-parenting is now the post-separation norm. </p>
<p><a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2022018-eng.htm">About 25 to 30 per cent of Canadian children are growing up in separated or divorced households</a>, and more when non-marital cohabitants are considered, meaning the stats only show the tip of the iceberg of households where there is a lone parent or a blended family and no legally formalized marriage.</p>
<p>A majority of today’s separated or divorced parents are in a shared parenting situation. The Divorce Act was <a href="https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/fl-lf/famil/c78/03.html#">amended in 2019</a> to underscore the desirability of co-parenting. The changes encourage the active involvement of both parents in children’s lives post-separation, rather than having one “access” parent with a limited role in decision-making, and one with “custody.”</p>
<p>Co-parenting during the holiday season can be challenging, but it is essential to prioritize our children’s best interests. Research overwhelmingly shows that, contrary to stereotypes, while many children experience short-term effects like shock, anxiety or anger after parents separate or divorce, it is not the split itself but rather <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/#">high levels of conflict that are bad for children</a>. </p>
<h2>Uncharted territory of co-parenting</h2>
<p>Many Canadian children, like my four teens, have been living through co-parenting post-separation for several years. Others are new to it. Virtually all parents are walking in uncharted territory when we navigate shared parenting. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A child in the middle holds two different adult hands. " src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562829/original/file-20231130-21-qzwx5p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Navigating shared parenting after a breakup is important and can be challenging.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Even those of us who grew up with separated parents likely did not experience the two households that contemporary co-parenting families do. There has been a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12301">radical shift towards increased involvement of both parents in children’s lives after parents split</a>. </p>
<p>So, as the holidays approach, it is likely useful to remind ourselves and each other of best practices. From 20 years as a practising lawyer, several years <a href="https://carleton.ca/law/people/bromwich-rebecca/">of academic research</a> and my own not-error-free personal experience, here are some tips to help separated co-parents ensure they look after the best interests of their children over the holidays.</p>
<p><strong>Plan ahead:</strong> Start planning for the holidays well in advance. Establish a clear schedule and communication plan with your ex-spouse to avoid last-minute conflicts. Be clear about whether any events will be attended by both parents, and be pro-active about setting boundaries that will prevent conflicts from arising. If both parties are tech adept, use <a href="https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/children/how-to-be-a-great-co-parent-if-you-dont-get-along-with-your-ex/">technological means — like apps — to facilitate this</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Be flexible:</strong> Be open to adjusting the schedule when necessary. Sometimes, unforeseen circumstances may arise, and it’s important to be adaptable for the sake of your children.</p>
<p><strong>Respect and create traditions:</strong> Respect each other’s family traditions and beliefs. Encourage your children to appreciate the diversity of celebrations. Embrace the opportunity to create new holiday traditions and positive memories with your children. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two families seen sitting around a holiday table." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562831/original/file-20231130-25-jou7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">New traditions can emerge after separation or divorce.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>Share responsibilities:</strong> Share the financial and logistical responsibilities of the holidays fairly. This includes sharing the costs of gifts, decorations and other holiday-related expenses.</p>
<p><strong>Avoid competing:</strong> Don’t compete with your co-parent for the children’s affection through extravagant gifts or experiences. Instead, focus on quality time spent together. You are not an ATM. Children <a href="https://theconversation.com/give-the-gift-of-presence-and-love-during-the-holidays-196273">will remember your presence more than your presents</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Seek support:</strong> Be realistic. Whatever problems existed in the marriage are likely to persist in post-separation interactions. An app might not be enough. A mediator, social worker, parenting co-ordinator or another professional such as a family law lawyer can be involved well in advance to help facilitate and co-ordinate communication so co-parenting during the holidays becomes less challenging. </p>
<p>Finally, beyond legal considerations, don’t forget to seek support as it’s needed, for both your own well-being, and as you support your children through family transition amid their regular developmental changes. Navigating separation or divorce means navigating a major life change <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/contemplating-divorce/201207/where-are-you-the-divorce-stress-scale">and related stressors</a>. All family members can be involved in identifying age- and role-appropriate ways to be part of creating a positive holiday experience. </p>
<h2>Holidays can be merry</h2>
<p>Co-parenting during the holidays is a new normal across Canada. Working together, we can create a positive holiday experience for our children. Children too can be involved in co-creating plans for the holidays for their contemporary families. </p>
<p>I am repeating this because I needed to hear it again and again: our children can thrive post-separation or divorce, and our own holiday seasons can be merry and bright.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/213600/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rebecca Jaremko Bromwich received grant funding from the Law Foundation of Ontario to study co-parenting communication post-divorce or separation and how technology can support children's best interests by helping alleviate co-parent conflict.</span></em></p>Holiday traditions involve expectations that can be especially challenging for parents post-divorce or post-separation. Proactive planning helps.Rebecca Jaremko Bromwich, Academic Co-Director, Desautels Centre, Robson Hall Law School, University of Manitoba, Adjunct Professor, Carleton UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2188832023-12-01T01:38:55Z2023-12-01T01:38:55ZProtecting kids online: A guide for parents on conversations about ‘sextortion’<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562832/original/file-20231130-21-cfn0tz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=162%2C63%2C5664%2C3944&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Sexual extortion occurs when an individual is coerced, deceived or pressured into having their sexual or nude photos or videos released online unless they provide money or additional sexual images.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/protecting-kids-online-a-guide-for-parents-on-conversations-about-sextortion" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>Sadly, a 12-year old child in British Columbia <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/police-link-suicide-of-12-year-old-prince-george-b-c-boy-to-online-sexual-extortion-1.7041185">died by suicide following a case of online sextortion</a>. The child’s grieving parents are passionately urging families to talk to their children about the dangers of online predators in the hopes that other children can be safeguarded against online risks.</p>
<p>Sexual extortion, or “<a href="https://www.cybertip.ca/en/online-harms/sextortion/">sextortion</a>,” occurs when an individual is coerced into providing money or sexual images by threatening to release sexual or nude photos or videos of them online.</p>
<p>Many sextortion cases occur within existing relationships with peers, romantic partners or adults. However, in some cases, predators unknown to the child groom them into sharing intimate pictures or videos, later weaponizing them for blackmail. </p>
<p>As clinical psychologists, we recognize and empathize with the challenge parents face in being fully appraised of their children’s online activities and navigating difficult topics. Below we offer information and practical advice for parents about <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-63-the-current/clip/16026548-how-talk-kids-online-sexual-extortion">initiating and having conversations about sex, sextortion and healthy device habits</a>.</p>
<h2>1 in 20 adolescents experience sextortion</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A boy sitting on stairs with his head in his hand, looking at a phone" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562833/original/file-20231130-15-3xwdcz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">An estimated 91 per cent of victims in reported sextortion cases are boys.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1079063218800469">a study of over 5,500 adolescents</a> aged 12 to 17 in the United States, five per cent reported they had been victims of sextortion. Harm associated with sextortion included repeated online contact, harassment and having fake online profiles created of them. </p>
<p>About one-quarter of youth who reported being sextorted also reported being threatened with having their pictures publicly posted or sent to others without their consent.</p>
<p>When children and adolescents are targets of sextortion, they may experience intense fear and/or shame in speaking with their parents and caregivers about what has happened, and may be less aware of resources or supports they can turn to for help.</p>
<h2>Boys are more likely to experience sextortion</h2>
<p>While girls are more likely to experience sexual assault and have their images shared without their consent, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1079063218800469">boys are more likely to experience sextortion</a>. It is estimated that victims in <a href="https://cybertip.ca/en/online-harms/sextortion/">91 per cent of reported sextortion</a> cases are boys. According to <a href="https://annualreport2022.iwf.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/IWF-Annual-Report-2022_FINAL.pdf">a report</a> by the Internet Watch Foundation, boys often mistakenly believe they are engaged in a mutual exchange of sexual images, which then results in sexual extortion for financial gain. </p>
<p>In addition to being victimized in sextortion cases, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1079063218800469">boys are less likely than girls to disclose victimization to a parent or authority figure</a>. This may stem from feeling persistent shame and stigma in being victims of sexual abuse. Societal expectations of boys are often to demonstrate strength and courage, which can create challenges in openly acknowledging and/or sharing when they are vulnerable or in distress. </p>
<p>Cognitively, adolescent males are more <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jebo.2011.06.007">susceptible to impulsivity and risky behaviour</a> than girls, and are therefore more likely to risk sharing photos that are later used as blackmail.</p>
<h2>Talking to children about sexual health and digital safety</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A man with his arm around a teen, outdoors" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/562834/original/file-20231130-29-c4v473.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Approach the conversation in different ways, like going for a walk with your child.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Educating children about online safety involves fostering their understanding of <a href="https://www.commonsense.org/education/digital-citizenship/topic/privacy-and-security">digital risks</a>, as well as <a href="https://www.commonsense.org/education/digital-citizenship">digital citizenship</a> — how to be safe, legal and ethical online. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>Have conversations with your children about sex, consent and online activities and safety, early and often. You can vary the content based on the child’s age and developmental stage. For example, with younger children you may start having conversations about consent, sex, and online risks in general terms, and then when they enter the tween years, these conversations can be elaborated to include <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2017.5314">sexting</a>, sextortion and other <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2018.03.012">online risks</a>. When conversations start early in children’s development, they are often less awkward during adolescence because it’s familiar for you and your child to be talking about these topics. </p></li>
<li><p>Approach your child with openness and a willingness to understand. It is developmentally normal for adolescents to be curious about sexuality, and among older adolescents, to engage in sexual relationships. It is also a function of an adolescent’s developing brain that decisions are not always made with long-term consequences in mind. As such, it is important to approach conversations about sex and online behaviours without judgement, blame or overreaction. Responses such as “What were you thinking?” or “How could you do something like this?” could increase shame and reduce the likelihood they will come to you in the future.</p></li>
<li><p>Find out what they know already. Conversations about online risks such as sextortion are understandably difficult topics to broach with your child. You can start by asking your child questions about what they know. “Have you heard of sexting or sextortion?” “Tell me what you think it is?” Alter the conversation based on their response. During these conversations, reinforce the idea that not everyone is who they say they are online. Suggest that the only friends they should have online are the ones they know in real life.</p></li>
<li><p>Generate “what if” scenarios. Spend some time with your child discussing how to deal with difficult situations online, which they are very likely to encounter at some point in their youth. We recommend generating “what if” scenarios with them. “What if I send this picture and the person I send it to threatens to share it with others? Who could I turn to for help?” Also, before posting or sending any photo or video clip online, teach children to ask themselves, “Is it illegal, harmful or hurtful, or does this put my personal information at risk?”</p></li>
<li><p>Stay involved in your child’s internet and smartphone use, which includes knowing who their friends are on and offline and what social media apps and websites they’re using. Set boundaries with your children about what websites they can visit, what social media apps they can use and what they can safely share online. If they are struggling to follow through on these limits, you can use content blockers to restrict access to mature content and set boundaries for internet and device use. This resource provides a helpful guide for <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-parental-controls">implementing parent controls</a>.</p></li>
<li><p>Try different strategies. If your child squirms and disengages every time you bring up sex, sextortion or online risks, don’t be discouraged; these conversations are hard for everyone! You can try approaching the conversation in different ways. For example, you can go out for a walk with your child and initiate this conversation. Some children feel more at ease talking about difficult topics when they aren’t sitting face-to-face with an adult. Another strategy is to try humour to get the conversation started. A public health campaign called “<a href="https://dontgetsextorted.ca/">Don’t Get Sextorted</a>” has an educational video targeted to adolescent boys. Parents could play this lighthearted video, laugh with their child and use it as a catalyst to further conversations.</p></li>
</ol>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HHYubxZlTe0?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Don’t Get Sextorted uses a humorous approach to educating boys about online threats.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Guidance that children receive from parents or a trusted adult about online risks is crucial for shaping their online — and offline — behaviours and decision-making. Let’s get talking to our kids about their digital safety! </p>
<h2>Resources</h2>
<p>Resources for parents who want to learn more about keeping their kids safe online include <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/">Common Sense Media</a> and <a href="https://www.getcybersafe.gc.ca/en">Get Cyber Safe</a>.</p>
<p>Parents or teens concerned about videos and images being distributed without their consent, or who are experiencing sextortion, should report their concerns immediately to local police. In Canada, they can also consult <a href="https://needhelpnow.ca/app/en/">needhelpnow.ca</a> and send a report to <a href="https://www.cybertip.ca/app/en/report">cybertip.ca</a>. In the U.S., they can consult <a href="https://www.stopbullying.gov/">stopbullying.org</a>.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218883/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Camille Mori received funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council and currently receives funding through the University of Calgary graduate awards. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sheri Madigan receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation, an anonymous donor, and the Canada Research Chairs program.</span></em></p>The tragic case of a 12-year-old boy who experienced sextortion highlights the importance of practical advice for parents on having conversations about sex, sextortion and healthy device habits.Camille Mori, PhD student in Clinical Psychology, University of CalgarySheri Madigan, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, University of CalgaryLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2173352023-11-28T13:40:04Z2023-11-28T13:40:04ZPhilly parents worry about kids’ digital media use but see some benefits, too<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560790/original/file-20231121-15-ky05z4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Parents can model good media habits, like using online tools to connect with family and friends. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/father-and-daughter-using-tablet-royalty-free-image/696315038">Ridofranz/iStock/Getty Images Plus</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>A group of U.S. senators recently called on tech giant Meta – which owns Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger – to <a href="https://www.warren.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/2023.11.14%20-%20Meta%20-%20Document%20Request.pdf">hand over documents</a> related to the mental and physical harms its products cause to young people. The demand follows a lawsuit <a href="https://coag.gov/app/uploads/2023/10/23.10.24-Doc.-1-Complaint-People-v.-Meta-23cv05448.pdf">filed by 33 states</a> in October 2023 that alleges that Meta, in order to maximize profits, knowingly designs addictive social media features. The lawsuit states these features are designed “to entice, engage, and ultimately ensnare youth and teens.”</p>
<p>While researchers disagree about whether social media and other digital media <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2020.106414">can truly be addictive</a>, they do agree that excessive smartphone use is a problem. Many parents express <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41390-023-02555-9">concern and confusion</a> about how best to manage digital media use for children under the age of 13. </p>
<p>I am a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=OPZ2j6wAAAAJ&hl=en">professor of library and information science</a> at Drexel University’s College of Computing and Informatics. My colleague <a href="https://www.uvm.edu/cems/cs/profiles/yuanyuan-feng">Yuanyuan Feng</a> and I conducted in-depth research interviews in 2019-22 with 17 parents at three branches of the Free Library of Philadelphia. The goal was to study <a href="https://navigatingscreens.wordpress.com/">how parents manage media use</a> within their families. All of the parents – who represented a range of educational, socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds – were Philadelphia residents with at least one child age 5 to 11. </p>
<p>Although we did not set out to study parental concerns about children’s media use, every one of the parents expressed worries. Only eight parents discussed any positive aspects of media use. </p>
<p>Our research suggests promoting balance – rather than preventing addiction – is a better goal for managing kids’ digital media use.</p>
<h2>Parents’ key concerns</h2>
<p>The most common concern – expressed by 80% of our study participants – was children’s exposure to inappropriate content. We have used pseudonyms throughout this article to protect our participants’ privacy. </p>
<p>As Eliza, a mother of three kids ages 4, 7 and 13, said, “I wanted to make sure that (my children) just were not watching inappropriate stuff. … They know that word. They’re always like, ‘It’s not appropriate.’” </p>
<p>Nearly three-quarters of the parents were uncomfortable with the amount of time their children spend with media. “It’s like a battle,” said Jordan, a father of three sons, the oldest age 6. “I try to limit the screens as much as I can, although I realize we have pretty much every type of device that he could use or want to use.” </p>
<p>Seventy percent of the Philadelphia parents worried about media use displacing potentially healthier activities like reading books, playing outside, socializing in-person with friends or attending <a href="https://libwww.freelibrary.org/programs/kids/events">community events for kids</a>. </p>
<p>“There’s all kinds of cool things (at the library). There’s story time here, and … (t)hey had a pot-bellied pig outside one day. We got to meet a pot-bellied pig! I mean, how do you get that chance when you live in the city?” said Marla, the mother of a 5-year-old girl. </p>
<p>Evonne, a mother of an 8-year-old boy and two girls age 11 and 12, cited concern for children’s safety and privacy. This was shared by slightly more than half of the parents.</p>
<p>“I just had this conversation with my kids,” she said. “‘Whatever you put out there on social media can come back to haunt you … whether it’s a job interview or even a college or high school interview. You have to be very careful how you present yourself. … It can really damage you.’” </p>
<p>Research suggests that saying digital media damages children’s social skills <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/707985">is an oversimplification</a>. Still, about a third of the parents worried that media overuse leads to poor social skills. “Kids (are) losing the ability just to socialize,” said Tyler, a father of two boys, ages 4 and 8.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Girls sits on bed while taking part in video meeting on laptop" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/561155/original/file-20231122-23-qahi7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Online interactions can help build kids’ social skills.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-in-black-and-white-zebra-print-shirt-using-macbook-pro-61fy_dlPtF4">Maria Thalassinou on Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Benefits for kids</h2>
<p>The parents in our study told numerous and often lengthy stories about their concerns. They mentioned benefits of media use much less often and with far less detail. Nonetheless, it’s important to recognize that digital media offer <a href="https://doi.org/10.21241/ssoar.71817">both risks and opportunities</a> for children. </p>
<p>Parents appreciated how digital media enabled their children to communicate with family and friends who live far away, for example by video chatting with relatives in other countries. They also believed digital media skills are vital to their kids’ future job success. And they appreciate how digital media can support kids’ learning by building curiosity and providing access to new information.</p>
<p>Several parents enjoyed playing online games with their children and texting them messages of support throughout the day. They felt these were examples of how they could use digital media to support healthy family relationships. </p>
<p>Finally, several parents discussed the joy and relaxation their children feel using digital media. Research shows that gaming in particular can be a <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.1542/pir.2022-005666">healthy form of digital play</a> when done in moderation and with parental awareness of content warnings.</p>
<h2>How to guide kids</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/01616846.2022.2044265">Thoughtful discussions with children</a> are key to helping them benefit from digital media and to reduce potential risks. Toward this end, I suggest parents think about their role in guiding children’s media use less as protecting them from harm and more as educating them for long-term healthy habits. Here are a few recommendations to support that approach. </p>
<p><strong>Rethink time limits:</strong> Time limits focus on the amount of digital media use without considering the <a href="https://www.today.com/parents/family/kids-phones-expert-one-thing-rcna121130">value of different types of use</a>. There is no “normal” amount of time children should spend with media. Three hours in one day spent watching cartoons probably isn’t great for social or educational development. But one hour watching cartoons plus one hour <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/hbe2.268">video calling with grandparents</a> and one hour working online for a school assignment take up the same amount of time and represent a balance of activities that support entertainment as well as social and educational development. </p>
<p><strong>Educate kids:</strong> Some online content is <a href="https://www.unicef-irc.org/publications/1183-investigating-risks-and-opportunities-for-children-in-a-digital-world.html">inappropriate or risky for children</a>. But simply restricting access leaves them unprepared to make informed decisions on their own when they reach adulthood. Educating kids about the benefits and risks prepares them for a life certain to be spent partly online.</p>
<p><strong>Encourage building social skills online:</strong> Much of young people’s social activity today takes place online, making online participation an important part of making and keeping friends. Being digitally connected can help children <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/are-there-apps-or-tech-tools-to-help-kids-develop-socially">practice social interactions</a>. Popular cooperative games like <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/minecraft">Minecraft</a> and <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/animal-crossing-new-horizons">Animal Crossing: New Horizons</a>, for example, can help children learn how to solve problems together. </p>
<p><strong>Model good media habits:</strong> When parents use media in moderation to interact with others and not just for passive use like watching videos, kids are likely to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/pra2.681">pick up these behaviors</a>. If you decide to set rules for family media use, you should follow them. too. If children are not allowed to use their phones at mealtimes, for example, parents should consider doing the same. The same is true for modeling respectful communication – set a good example by avoiding arguments online. </p>
<p><strong>Avoid fear tactics:</strong> Most young people find positive discussions more motivating than scare tactics, which are <a href="https://pshe-association.org.uk/evidence-and-research-key-principles-of-effective-prevention-education">generally ineffective</a>. Rather than telling children that the internet is a scary place where dangerous strangers hang out, for example, teach them to leave online conversations when anyone asks them to share personal information or when they begin to feel uncomfortable. It sends the same message without suggesting that all online conversations are dangerous. It also encourages children to build judgment skills. </p>
<p>At its core, a balanced parenting approach requires talking honestly with children about both the risks and benefits of digital media and helping them to learn to make good media use decisions.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217335/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Denise E. Agosto, Rebekah Willett (University of Wisconsin), and June Abbas (University of Oklahoma) received funding for this work from The Institute of Museum and Library Services.</span></em></p>Researchers conducted in-depth interviews with 17 Philadelphia parents about how their family uses digital media. Here they offer tips to promote healthy, balanced media habits for kids.Denise E. Agosto, Professor of Library and Information Science, Drexel UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2151482023-11-27T19:56:13Z2023-11-27T19:56:13Z3 ways to encourage kids to be more charitable and kind this holiday season<iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/3-ways-to-encourage-kids-to-be-more-charitable-and-kind-this-holiday-season" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>With the holiday season just around the corner, families and households will soon be gathering to give and receive gifts. Many will also be sending donations to communities in crisis, and organizing charity events and food drives to help others.</p>
<p>The reason for our holiday generosity is obvious to us as adults. We hold a sense of <a href="https://doi.org/10.3200/SOCP.149.4.425-449">moral responsibility</a> to be kind and get a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1140738">satisfying feeling</a> of having done a good deed.</p>
<p>For children, it can sometimes be less clear why, when and how they should show kindness to others. </p>
<p>Child psychology researchers have spent decades trying to understand exactly what parents need to do and say with our children to help them truly understand the value and importance of kindness. Based on my research and that of other developmental psychology researchers, here are three things science says parents can do to encourage generosity this holiday season. </p>
<h2>Model kindness</h2>
<p>Children learn best by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.brat.2010.02.006">seeing and imitating</a>. Observing adults and the consequences of their actions teaches children which behaviours are good or bad, kind or mean. </p>
<p>As a parenting and child psychology researcher, I have worked with colleagues to understand how parents can model kindness and generosity to successfully teach their children these same values. Our research suggests that parents who practice kind and warm interactions with their children tend to have kind and generous kids. </p>
<p>For example, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/sode.12287">speaking with your child</a> about emotional experiences you each had during the day can help your child learn how to help others feel better when they’re distressed. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A black woman holds the hand of a young black girl sitting on a bed" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560913/original/file-20231121-24-cnjoim.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Modelling kindness can help teach kids about charity and generosity.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Naturally, modelling kindness is also most effective when you hold kindness and generosity as deeply cherished values. In our <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jad.12156">research</a>, we have found that kids donate more money to a charity when mothers deeply hold these values. </p>
<p>As we head into the holidays, <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-parents-can-be-emotion-coaches-as-kids-navigate-back-to-school-during-covid-19-166148">continue to show empathy</a> and kindness to your children, modelling for them that being kind can show someone in crisis that you care. </p>
<p>With the ongoing wars and disasters across the world, kids might get distressed when hearing about other children in crisis. In these cases, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli0904_1">help your kids</a> feel better by talking about their feelings and comforting them, and offer suggestions on what you can do as a family to help those in need. Also consider taking your kids with you to volunteer at a local shelter or organizing a food drive with the whole family to model charity and generosity. </p>
<h2>Avoid rewarding generosity</h2>
<p>It’s natural to want to <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/toddlersandpreschoolers/consequences/rewards.html#:%7E:text=Rewards%20are%20important%20for%20many,you%20want%20her%20to%20do.">reward children</a> when they are generous to others. You probably feel proud of your kids when they share or donate, and you might want to show them that you are happy with how they behave.</p>
<p>However, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.25.4.509">developmental psychologists have shown</a> that some rewards can thwart children’s future desire to be kind. Kids simply don’t offer to help others as much when they are given material rewards — like gifts, treats or money — compared to being <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jad.12086">praised</a> or receiving <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12534">no feedback</a> at all. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Young kids putting canned and dry food items in a box." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560909/original/file-20231121-23-dqaehc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Praising, rather than rewarding, a child’s generosity can encourage them to become more charitable.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Instead of rewarding your child for donating part of their allowance, consider rewarding them with your words by <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/toddlersandpreschoolers/communication/goodbehavior-praise.html">praising</a> them. Even a smile can go a long way — and they might even produce a bigger donation next year. </p>
<h2>Praise who they are, not what they do</h2>
<p>Over <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-015-0293-5">60 per cent of parents</a> report praising their kids for being kind to others. But certain types of praise are better than others to encourage kindness. Praising a child for being a kind person is more effective than praising their kind behaviour. Kids praised for being a kind or helpful person have been shown to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/sode.12082">volunteer more time</a> to helping others compared to kids praised for working hard to help others. </p>
<p>This kind of “person praise” can be effective for guiding your child to self-identify as a person who always helps others. To encourage your kids’ generosity this holiday season, praise their charitable actions by telling them they are a kind person or that they are the type of kid who really understands how other people feel. </p>
<h2>Fathering and mothering</h2>
<p>Traditionally, compared to fathers, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.32.6.999">mothers</a> have been shown to pay more attention to their children’s kindness and helping behaviours. Even when engaging in the <a href="https://doi.org/10.3200/GNTP.168.2.177-200">same warm and empathetic parenting</a>, fathers seem to encourage their kids’ co-operation and conflict resolution, while mothers encourage more sharing and generosity with others.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A man and teen boy walk and talk to each other" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/560911/original/file-20231121-23-f3dfpc.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">More engaged fathers can help their kids develop greater empathy for others.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>That said, in the last few decades, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1353/sof.0.0101">fathers have taken a more central role</a> in parenting. Fathers and mothers are increasingly playing a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/01494929.2021.1927931">similar and shared role</a> in encouraging their children’s co-operative and helpful behaviour. </p>
<p>There is even some evidence that engaged fathers have a <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02379">more direct</a> impact than engaged mothers on children’s development of helping behaviour. When fathers stay connected with and involved in raising their children, the children are likely to feel <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.58.4.709">more empathy</a> for others, well into adulthood.</p>
<p>Rather than thinking that fathers must do something different from mothers, the parents must <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032893">equally commit</a> to the shared aim of raising a kind and generous child.</p>
<p>As we approach the holidays, research suggests to use modelling and give praise to encourage kids to be generous and kind. If you’re participating in a holiday food drive for refugees, have your kids tag along and help sort foods. When your kids want to make a donation, praise them for being kind individuals. These small steps can help your child build empathy for others and show kindness to those in need, and might even make them more generous the next holiday season.</p>
<p>After all, what would the holidays be without sharing?</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215148/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Hali Kil receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. </span></em></p>As we approach the season of giving, a child psychology researcher offers suggestions on how parents can teach their kids to be generous and kind.Hali Kil, Assistant Professor, Psychology, Simon Fraser UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2141312023-11-23T23:39:00Z2023-11-23T23:39:00ZIs sleeping with your baby a good idea? Here’s what the science says<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/549663/original/file-20230918-21-ueto34.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C5552%2C3709&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Scientific evidence allows parents to choose the sleeping arrangement that's right for them and their family.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Sleeping with your baby is not life-threatening, but it’s not essential either. Rather, it’s a family choice that you should make with your partner. </p>
<p>However, in order to make the right decision you need to have access to reliable information. The choice of sleeping arrangements at the beginning of your child’s life depends on a multitude of factors. So-called co-sleeping has become a polarizing subject. The important questions surrounding the practice are often drowned out in a whirlwind of information and opinions. Parents can quickly find themselves struggling over the best choice.</p>
<p>As researchers at the Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières and experts in early childhood and the sleep of children and teenagers, we’ve surveyed the scientific studies on co-sleeping in order to show both sides of the coin.</p>
<h2>What do we mean by co-sleeping?</h2>
<p>To start with, co-sleeping is a sleeping arrangement. It is not a method used for falling asleep, <a href="https://sleeponitcanada.ca">although sleeping arrangements strongly influence this</a>. </p>
<p>There are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7246529/">two types of co-sleeping</a>:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Co-sleeping on a shared surface, as in sharing the same bed; and</p></li>
<li><p>Co-sleeping in the same room, which involves sharing the same sleeping area.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>A <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/catalogue/82-003-X201900700002">recent Canadian study</a> reported that about a third of mothers co-sleep on the same surface, while 40 per cent said they had never co-slept at all. A <a href="https://www.jesuisjeserai.stat.gouv.qc.ca/publications/baby_no4.pdf">Québec study</a> in the late 1990s revealed that one-third of mothers co-slept in the same room.</p>
<p>The <a href="https://caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/pregnancy-and-babies/safe_sleep_for_babies">Canadian Paediatric Society states</a>: “For the first 6 months, the safest place for your baby to sleep is on their back, in a crib, cradle or bassinet that is in your room (room sharing).”</p>
<h2>Two schools of thought</h2>
<p>After it came to light in the late 2000s that Canada had <a href="https://publications.gc.ca/collections/collection_2015/aspc-phac/HP35-51-2014-eng.pdf">high mortality rates among infants</a> (one per thousand), society adopted a rather alarmist view of co-sleeping. </p>
<p>The first school of thought focuses on the medical aspects of co-sleeping linked to the risks of sleeping with a baby, such as choking, crushing or <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/childhood-adolescence/stages-childhood/infancy-birth-two-years/safe-sleep/safe-sleep-your-baby-brochure.html#">sudden infant death syndrome</a>. </p>
<p>The second school aims to facilitate the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1087079216000265?via%3Dihub%5D">practice of breastfeeding and the inclusion of cultural and family values</a> and believes that co-sleeping promotes them.</p>
<p>These two main schools of thought coexist, which explains why the choice of sleeping arrangements in the early months can become so challenging for parents. </p>
<h2>Better for breastfeeding and communication</h2>
<p>Does co-sleeping promote breastfeeding during the night? Yes, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1087079218300844?via%3Dihub">according to scientific studies</a>. But it’s hard to say whether it’s breastfeeding <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301237?via%3Dihub">that favours this practice or whether it’s the other way around</a>. In any case, breastfeeding is the main reason <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/catalogue/82-003-X201900700002">why mothers choose shared-surface co-sleeping</a>.</p>
<p>However, no difference was found between breastfeeding at night <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ejo/article/44/1/110/6293736?login=false">and the two types of co-sleeping</a>. In other words, sleeping in the same room is just as conducive to breastfeeding as is sleeping on a shared surface.</p>
<p>The same applies to meeting the child’s needs. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301237?via%3Dihub">According to a scientific study</a>, physical contact and proximity in the same room promote the synchronization of the child’s circadian rhythm with that of the parent. This helps the baby consolidate their sleep. This would make parents more alert to the infant’s signals in both types of sleep arrangement. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6163497/">And that, in turn, would help communication</a> and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10995-014-1557-1">make it possible to respond easily and quickly to the baby’s needs</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A baby lying on a bed is held by a woman lying next to him" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=394&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=394&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=394&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=495&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=495&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/548829/original/file-20230918-17-jublh5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=495&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Proximity would promote synchronization of the child’s circadian rhythm to that of the parent.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Less stress</h2>
<p>While co-sleeping is known to reduce a baby’s stress, it depends on the level.</p>
<p><a href="https://academic.oup.com/ejo/article/44/1/110/6293736?login=false">One study that asked parents about this subject</a> found that children who had experienced one of two co-sleeping arrangements had lower anxiety levels at preschool age compared with those who had co-slept for less than six months. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453011001065?via%3Dihub">Another study</a> showed that children who slept with a parent had a lower stress response at 12 months of age compared with those who did not. However, when comparing a higher stress situation (e.g. getting a vaccination) to a moderate stress situation (e.g. during bath time), the difference between the two groups was smaller. It should be noted that several variables still need to be tested in order to fully understand this relationship, and that the two types of co-sleeping arrangements were not compared.</p>
<h2>More disturbed and fractured sleep</h2>
<p>Babies who co-sleep wake up more often than those who sleep alone at the beginning of life. <a href="https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/abstract/2022/01000/bed_sharing_in_the_first_6_months__associations.11.aspx">This is also true for parents</a>. </p>
<p><a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/41/2/zsx207/4753805">A study</a> measuring the amount of sleep at six, 12 and 18 months showed that the group of children co-sleeping on a shared surface or in the same room had more nocturnal arousals, measured by <a href="https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-tests/s/sleep-disorder-tests/procedures/actigraphy.html">actigraphy</a> at six months. They also had more arousals measured by the mothers’ sleep diaries at six, 12 and 18 months, compared with the group of children sleeping alone. </p>
<p>At 12 months, the solitary sleepers had a longer average sleep time. These results were obtained after controlling for type of feeding (breast or bottle). However, the study did not investigate whether sleep characteristics differed between the two types of co-sleeping. </p>
<p>Mothers who co-sleep on a shared surface report that their babies fall asleep more easily and quickly, but wake up more frequently. They say they choose this arrangement <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10995-014-1557-1">to improve their family’s sleep</a>. </p>
<p>Mothers generally perceive <a href="https://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476(22)00076-2/fulltext">no sleep difficulties in their babies</a>. But when mothers’ sleep is measured by actigraphy, it is <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/41/2/zsx207/4753805?login=false">more fragmented and disturbed for the first 18 months</a> compared with those who opted for a solitary sleep arrangement. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476(22)00076-2/fulltext">Another objective study</a> reveals that co-sleeping on a shared surface over the longer term (for the first two years of the child’s life) is associated with a shorter sleep duration at night, a greater need for naps during the day, and a higher proportion of difficulties falling asleep.</p>
<h2>Attachment: no clear answers</h2>
<p>Is co-sleeping on a shared surface associated with stronger attachment to the child? </p>
<p>This subject is controversial. </p>
<p>Some studies have reported a stronger attachment bond in babies who co-slept on a shared surface <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301237?via%3Dihub">compared with those who slept alone</a>. </p>
<p>Others report no link, either positive or negative, between parent-child attachment and <a href="https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/abstract/2022/01000/bed_sharing_in_the_first_6_months__associations.11.aspx">sleep arrangement after the child’s first six months of life</a>. </p>
<h2>Parents’ choice</h2>
<p>This scientific data will help parents choose the sleeping arrangement that’s right for them and their family. The decision remains a parental choice. </p>
<p>If you opt for a co-sleeping arrangement, you can find the safety measures to put in place <a href="https://www.canada.ca/content/dam/hc-sc/migration/hc-sc/cps-spc/alt_formats/pdf/pubs/cons/child-enfant/sleep-coucher-eng.pdf">on the Health Canada site</a> in order to make sure everyone gets a good night’s sleep.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/214131/count.gif" alt="La Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Evelyne Touchette has received funding from the Fonds de recherche du Québec and the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Gabrielle Fréchette-Boilard ne travaille pas, ne conseille pas, ne possède pas de parts, ne reçoit pas de fonds d'une organisation qui pourrait tirer profit de cet article, et n'a déclaré aucune autre affiliation que son organisme de recherche.</span></em></p>Questions about co-sleeping are often drowned out in a whirlwind of information and opinions. But science can provide some answers.Gabrielle Fréchette-Boilard, Doctorante en psychoéducation, Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières (UQTR)Evelyne Touchette, Adjunct professor, département de psychoéducation, Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières (UQTR)Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2152052023-10-26T12:40:49Z2023-10-26T12:40:49ZBack in the 1960s, the push for parental rights over school standards was not led by white conservatives but by Black and Latino parents<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/555414/original/file-20231023-21-xoa3d5.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=251%2C81%2C3944%2C2717&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, left, and then-Republican gubernatorial candidate Glenn Youngkin participate in a debate on Sept. 28, 2021.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/former-virginia-gov-terry-mcauliffe-and-republican-news-photo/1343655159?adppopup=true">Win McNamee/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>A key issue underlying the 2023 Virginia election first drew statewide – and national – attention in a debate two years ago.</p>
<p>During a 2021 Virginia gubernatorial debate, Democratic candidate <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2021/10/07/politics/glenn-youngkin-parental-rights-education-strategy/index.html">Terry McAuliffe</a> made a critical mistake that led to his defeat by GOP challenger Glenn Youngkin.</p>
<p>Instead of acknowledging concerns that parents were having over school curriculum, McAuliffe dismissed them.</p>
<p>“I’m not going to let parents come into schools and actually take books out and make their own decision,” McAuliffe said during the debate. “I don’t think parents should be telling schools what they should teach.”</p>
<p>McAuliffe’s remarks sparked a backlash among white conservatives who were incensed that their children were being forced to read books that touched on contentious topics such as racism and sexuality. </p>
<p>In fact, one of Youngkin’s <a href="https://slate.com/culture/2021/10/beloved-glenn-youngkin-ad-toni-morrison-book-banning.html">initial television ads</a> showed a white mother who was nearly brought to tears by her son’s anguish after reading about the horrors of slavery in Toni Morrison’s “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/27/us/politics/beloved-toni-morrison-virginia.html">Beloved</a>.” She said the book should not have been required high school reading. </p>
<p>But while Youngkin and other <a href="https://americanindependent.com/virginia-book-bans-siobhan-dunnavant-schuyler-vanvalkenburg/">GOP politicians</a> campaigning for offices from <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/virginia-school-board-extremist-candidates-1234829927/">local school boards</a> to <a href="https://www.virginiamercury.com/2023/10/11/in-henrico-virginia-senate-candidates-battle-over-banning-books-accusation/">state legislatures</a> in the 2023 cycle have hitched their political success to parental rights and banning books deemed offensive, they do not own those issues.</p>
<p>In fact, the very thing that parental rights advocates are fighting to exclude is the very thing that parental rights groups of the 1960s fought to have included: an accurate reflection of the role that Black people played in the shaping of American history and culture. </p>
<p>I know this because <a href="https://faculty.lawrence.edu/podairj/">I spent</a> a great deal of time studying one of the seminal parental rights movements in American public education for my book, “<a href="https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300109405/the-strike-that-changed-new-york/">The Strike That Changed New York</a>.”</p>
<p>In that book, I detailed the 1968 struggle over community control of public schools in the predominantly Black and Latino neighborhood of Ocean Hill-Brownsville in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. There, as in Virginia, <a href="https://www.gothamcenter.org/blog/community-control-and-the-1968-teacher-strikes-in-nyc-at-50-a-roundtable">parents who felt shut out</a> by the public education system demanded to have their voices heard in determining school curricula. </p>
<p>But at Ocean Hill-Brownsville, it was Black and Latino parents who demanded their right to have a say in the education of their children. </p>
<h2>Inside the classrooms</h2>
<p>For decades, Black history had been a neglected topic in New York City schools. </p>
<p>In the 1960s, only a handful of textbooks on the Board of Education-approved list discussed the history of African Americans in significant detail. The lack of such material was widely blamed for the disappointing academic performance of Black and Latino students. </p>
<p>In an effort to help those students and improve test scores, New York City school officials launched an experiment to give the mostly minority parents more say in school matters by appointing them to school governing boards. As I note in <a href="https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300109405/the-strike-that-changed-new-york/">my book</a>, the new governing boards immediately set out to move the history of Black Americans from the margins of the American experience to its epicenter.</p>
<p>Not everyone supported the changes to what was being taught in the classrooms. When the newly formed board composed of <a href="https://jacobin.com/2018/09/ocean-hill-brownsville-strikes-1968-united-federation-teachers">Ocean Hill-Brownsville parents</a> fired 13 teachers and six administrators for trying to block the changes, the United Federation of Teachers union organized several strikes to shut down the schools in a dispute over control of personnel, finances and curricula. </p>
<p>The strikes lasted for 36 school days and affected about 47,000 teachers and nearly 1 million students. The strike ended on Nov. 17 when the state took control of the Ocean Hill-Brownsville school district. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A group of Black men are standing together in front of a school building." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555418/original/file-20231023-32966-f48ze2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Members of the Ocean Hill-Brownsville local school governing board leave Brooklyn Junior High School 271 on Dec. 2, 1968.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/led-by-the-rev-c-herbert-oliver-members-of-the-ocean-hill-news-photo/515546496?adppopup=true">Bettmann/Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Most of the jobs left vacant by striking union members were filled by a group of nonunionized “replacement” teachers sympathetic to the Ocean Hill-Brownsville parents.</p>
<p>In this racially charged atmosphere, local parents enjoyed an unprecedented opportunity to assert their rights. In the words of one school board representative, they sought to “supply the missing pieces of Black culture,” which would be “the well-spring from which all areas will flow, and counter the total focus in today’s curriculum on the European Anglo-Saxon experience.”</p>
<p>During <a href="https://www.npr.org/transcripts/803382499">the strike</a>, Ocean Hill-Brownsville parents worked with the teachers who had defied the union and staffed the schools to help implement an ambitious Black history curriculum. It included lessons on Black revolutionary leaders <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/07/19/1112040871/denmark-vesey-is-honored-his-slave-revolt-was-thwarted-and-he-was-executed">Denmark Vesey</a>, <a href="https://encyclopediavirginia.org/entries/turners-revolt-nat-1831/">Nat Turner</a> and <a href="https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/malcolm-x">Malcolm X</a>. </p>
<p>Their recommendations would eventually influence the direction of curricula in the New York City public school system as a whole.</p>
<h2>A constant struggle</h2>
<p>This example of parental rights serves as a reminder to those who assume that white conservatives are the only active and involved parents trying to assert their rights.</p>
<p>Indeed, in Virginia itself, Black parents are still having an effect on what is taught in public schools. In one example, the <a href="https://richmond.com/news/local/education/new-draft-history-standards-reorient-framing-of-race-relations/article_4504a142-7775-546d-9ea0-3c4272436a00.html">Youngkin administration</a> proposed a set of revisions to the state’s Standards of Learning in history and social sciences that failed to mention Juneteenth and Martin Luther King Jr. Day. </p>
<p>Black politicians and parents <a href="https://www.virginiamercury.com/2022/11/17/missing-context-political-bias-some-of-critics-objections-to-virginias-new-history-standards/">criticized those revisions</a> as “white-washing,” and the changes were later <a href="https://richmond.com/news/state-and-regional/govt-and-politics/board-of-education-rejects-youngkins-proposed-revisions-to-k-12-history-standards/article_ac6dbdb1-8632-5abd-97e4-39b978982b3f.html">rejected by the state Board of Education</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A classroom with Black students has large photographs of Black leaders and a map of Africa." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/555411/original/file-20231023-19-euw8py.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Black students during a class at a school in Brooklyn’s Ocean Hill-Brownsville neighborhood in November 1968.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/school-boys-during-a-class-at-an-school-in-the-ocean-hill-news-photo/1429049619?adppopup=true">Anna Kaufman Moon/Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In a further blow to conservatives, parental activists helped shepherd <a href="https://www.doe.virginia.gov/teaching-learning-assessment/k-12-standards-instruction/history-and-social-science/standards-of-learning">new, more historically inclusive</a> standards that were approved in April 2023. </p>
<p>The standards state unequivocally that “the institution of slavery was the cause of the Civil War.” In addition, they recognize “the indelible stain of slavery, segregation, and racism in the United States and around the world” and emphasize “the development of African American culture in America.”</p>
<p>Most important, at least to those who agree that parents should have an active role in the education of their children, the standards state that “parents should have access to all instructional materials utilized in any Virginia public school.”</p>
<p>The parental rights movement, then, in Virginia and elsewhere, is not solely the province of the right. As history has shown – and today’s debates over school curricula show – “parental rights” are for all parents.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215205/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jerald Podair does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>With control over the Virginia Legislature at stake in the Nov. 7 election, the historic battle over what is taught in public schools remains a priority for both Democrats and Republicans.Jerald Podair, Professor of History, Lawrence UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2158542023-10-19T16:33:21Z2023-10-19T16:33:21ZChildcare reform: education is the responsibility of the state – care of young children should be too<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/554587/original/file-20231018-21-hwg91k.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C7658%2C5101&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/childminder-children-international-kindergarten-play-building-1987510820">Robert Kneschke/Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Parents face <a href="https://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/childcare-survey-2023-report-landing-page">eye-watering costs</a> for childcare in the UK. A part-time nursery place for a child under two sets parents in Britain back, on average, <a href="https://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/sites/default/files/Resource%20Library/Childcare%20Survey%202023_Coram%20Family%20and%20Childcare.pdf">£7,134 a year</a>. </p>
<p>The government has <a href="https://theconversation.com/spring-budget-2023-free-early-years-places-extended-but-needs-of-children-and-staff-must-not-be-forgotten-201309">put plans in place</a> for increased childcare funding for the children of working parents: 30 free childcare hours for children aged over nine months, to be rolled out by 2025. </p>
<p>But there will still be a price for parents. Nurseries may charge for costs in addition to the government’s funded hours. And 30 hours does not nearly cover the time a parent working full-time will need care for their child.</p>
<h2>Education or care?</h2>
<p>Education is seen as the responsibility of the state. Free education is a universal benefit for all children of a certain age. Parents are unlikely to provide this kind of education by themselves. </p>
<p>On the other hand, care is the duty of parents. If they cannot temporarily provide it due to work or study, they are responsible for finding and funding childcare. But there is a huge overlap between care and education – one does not stop and the other begin when a child enters their reception year at school. </p>
<p>On a practical level, the division between care and education is weak. For example, helping a toddler to get dressed – taking care of them – involves talking to them about their right and left, pointing out and naming parts of the body, and identifying colours and items of clothing. This has educational benefit. And educating children works better with care. The could mean wiping a child’s nose before sitting down close beside them to help them read a story. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Two small children playing with shapes" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=479&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=479&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=479&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=601&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=601&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/554753/original/file-20231019-25-mgjzy4.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=601&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Children receive an education before they start school that serves them throughout their school lives.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/preschooler-showing-baby-sister-number-shapes-68022553">Ami Parikh/Shutterstock</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>What’s more, we know the education children receive before they start school is important. They come to school already knowing some maths, for instance, and some will know more than others. Research shows that the ones who know less are likely to be <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/icd.2281">behind their peers</a> for the whole of their school life. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/labours-plan-to-focus-on-early-maths-is-solid-gaps-in-achievement-start-even-before-primary-school-215498">Labour's plan to focus on early maths is solid – gaps in achievement start even before primary school</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Under the government’s plan for increased funding for childcare, the fragmented range of options will also remain. Choosing between childminders, day centres and school nurseries, as well as their differing costs, makes securing childcare a stressful experience. This is the result of governmental attitudes to childcare. </p>
<p>For a long time, a mother’s decision to seek employment was seen as personal preference – and the consequences of it not a task for the state. That was until <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30032646">New Labour</a> emphasised the role of working parents and early childhood education and care to promote economic and social mobility. The necessary expansion of childcare services was left to the private, voluntary and independent sectors.</p>
<h2>A complex system</h2>
<p>Now, 70% of group-care places are in <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/childcare-and-early-years-providers-survey-2021">private nurseries</a>. As expected, the private for-profit market aims to make profit, which may be used to service interest on loans (for example, for expansion) and <a href="https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/The-new-language-of-childcare-Main-report.pdf">to pay shareholders</a>. These complex financial structures may be a <a href="https://theconversation.com/large-for-profit-nursery-groups-are-becoming-more-common-with-negative-consequences-for-parents-and-the-sector-175759">risk to the sustainability</a> of the childcare sector.</p>
<p>There are at <a href="https://ifs.org.uk/sites/default/files/2023-03/Support-for-childcare-and-the-early-years.pdf">least eight government programmes</a> offered in England to support childcare and entice mothers into paid work. Some involve payment to childcare providers. Others allow parents to reclaim a proportion of costs. Unfortunately, families may not know about all of the options available to them, and so some benefits go <a href="https://ifs.org.uk/sites/default/files/2023-03/Support-for-childcare-and-the-early-years.pdf">unclaimed</a>.</p>
<p>There are solutions. One is making childcare free at the point of use – because looking after children is good for society in both the short and long run. But this argument is almost never heard, as if it is unthinkable or deemed impossible. </p>
<p>Another option is the development of a public – though still with costs to parents – child education and care system in England. This would provide all young children with accessible, affordable, enjoyable and high-quality education and care provision within their communities from birth until compulsory school age, overseen by the state. </p>
<p>This provision would promote children’s development and wellbeing, while simultaneously meeting their parents’ childcare needs. It would allow for an adequate work–life balance within families by recognising the <a href="https://www.uclpress.co.uk/products/128464">valuable role</a> of child rearing within society.</p>
<p>Government regulation of childcare places and costs would save parents from complex reclaiming procedures, and would not rely on knowledge about support programmes. The costs could be means-tested, allowing families with low incomes to access free childcare. This approach could also stabilise childcare providers’ financial planning. </p>
<p>A further step would be to move away from individual sessions booked by parents to a system of stable childcare places for individual children. It would follow the principle of school attendance – a place for every child – without the punishment for non-attendance. The benefit is more stability and more predictability for all involved.</p>
<p>Reducing the cost of childcare paid by parents only works by moving away from viewing children as the private luxury of families, and instead understanding the value of the education they receive before they start school. We should see the care and education of young children as an intertwined common good, benefitting all.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215854/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Ulrike Hohmann does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Brave thinking is needed to solve the problems with childcare.Ulrike Hohmann, Associate Professor in Early Childhood Studies, University of PlymouthLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2133092023-09-27T12:23:12Z2023-09-27T12:23:12ZPhiladelphia undercounts students who are homeless – here’s what parents need to know to advocate for their child<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/550461/original/file-20230926-27-j1f2e6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Philly schools counted 4,675 homeless children in the 2021-22 school year – but the numbers are likely higher.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/two-friends-walking-in-new-york-at-the-village-royalty-free-image/1457991066">Leo Patrizi/E+ Collection/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>For thousands of Philadelphia kids, the return to school this fall was made more difficult because they don’t have a secure place to call home.</p>
<p>During the 2021-2022 school year, the most recent data available, the School District of Philadelphia identified <a href="https://www.philasd.org/research/wp-content/uploads/sites/90/2023/02/Education-of-Children-and-Youth-Experience-Homelessness-Analysis-of-2021-22-Data-February-2023.pdf">4,675 children</a> as homeless. </p>
<p>Counting students was difficult during the COVID pandemic, making year-over-year comparisons difficult, but the most recent numbers are up 9.7% compared to <a href="https://www.philasd.org/research/wp-content/uploads/sites/90/2023/02/Education-of-Children-and-Youth-Experience-Homelessness-Analysis-of-2021-22-Data-February-2023.pdf">the 2018-2019 school year</a>, when the count was 4,261. </p>
<p>In Pennsylvania, <a href="https://www.education.pa.gov/K-12/Homeless%20Education/Pages/20212022CountsbyCounty.aspx">the 2021-2022 count was 41,126</a>, <a href="https://www.education.pa.gov/K-12/Homeless%20Education/Pages/20202021ECYEHCountsbyCounty.aspx">up nearly 24%</a> from the year before.</p>
<p>Research suggests the actual numbers are even higher. Pennsylvania lags other states in identifying youth who are homeless, and data collected for the 2018-2019 school year suggests Philadelphia in particular <a href="https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED611597.pdf">underreports</a>. This is particularly true for students who attend charter schools. </p>
<p>Schools struggle to identify students who are homeless for a variety of reasons, as a <a href="https://detroitpeer.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/HomelessIdentificationJuneFinal.pdf">recent study in Detroit</a> makes clear. The study highlights parent and guardian lack of awareness about resources available, limited trust from parents in sharing their housing circumstances and insufficient support from schools when parents do share this information. </p>
<p>As a professor of counseling <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=jb6uAUkAAAAJ&hl=en">who researches homelessness</a>, and a former school counselor who has examined the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0042085916668954">challenges educators face</a> in supporting homeless youth, I know it is critical that parents and guardians understand their children’s rights at school to ensure their kids get the support they need.</p>
<h2>Know your rights</h2>
<p>Living on the streets is only one of many ways kids experience housing loss. </p>
<p>In Pennsylvania, <a href="https://www.education.pa.gov/Documents/K-12/Homeless%20Education/Reports/2020-21%20ECYEH%20State%20Evaluation%20Report.pdf">65% of students experiencing homelessness</a> live in doubled-up situations – sharing housing temporarily with other people. This includes living in cramped apartments with other families, or regularly moving between friends’ or relatives’ houses. About 22% live in shelters or transitional housing. Others live in hotels or motels, and about 2% are unsheltered.</p>
<p>Given this complexity, some families may not understand <a href="http://doi.org/10.5330/1096-2409-21.1.47">they qualify</a> for resources available to the homeless. Educators may also be unsure.</p>
<p>When students without stable housing are not properly identified, they miss out on support under the <a href="https://nche.ed.gov/legislation/mckinney-vento/">McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Act</a>, a federal law that is designed to provide protection and assistance for students experiencing homelessness who attend public schools, and <a href="https://www.education.pa.gov/Policy-Funding/BECS/uscode/Pages/EducationforHomelessYouth.aspx">Pennsylvania’s Education for Homeless Children and Youth State plan</a>. </p>
<p>These services are designed to <a href="https://www2.ed.gov/programs/homeless/legislation.html">remove barriers to their enrollment, attendance and success</a> in school. </p>
<p>For example, students who are identified as homeless can enroll in schools even when they lack immediate access to paperwork such as educational records, immunization records and proof of residency within the school district. They can receive free transportation to and from their current school even if they move out of the district. They can also receive support from a <a href="https://homeless.center-school.org/more-about-homeless-liaisons/">“homeless liaison,”</a> a person who ensures the school is meeting the McKinney-Vento requirements, and they qualify for free <a href="https://nche.ed.gov/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/identification.pdf">school breakfast and lunch</a>. </p>
<p>The Philadelphia school district has an <a href="https://www.philasd.org/studentrights/#homeless">Office of Student Rights and Responsibilities</a> specifically designed to help students understand their rights, including supporting students experiencing homelessness. Homeless liaisons and other staff work with the office to identify students. According to its website, the office provides tutoring, supports student enrollment and transfers, offers school supplies and uniforms, and hosts a teen program with an array of services, including college preparation. </p>
<h2>What parents can do</h2>
<p>Facing housing insecurity is stressful for parents, guardians and kids. To increase the likelihood for a successful school year, parents can take these steps:</p>
<p><strong>1. Learn your child’s rights:</strong> Parents can ensure their children are getting the services and supports they are afforded under McKinney-Vento, such as transportation to their current school if they move temporarily out of the district. Reviewing these <a href="https://nche.ed.gov/parent-resources/">parent resources</a> is a good place to start.</p>
<p><strong>2. Contact the school’s homeless liaison:</strong> It’s important for parents to inform the school’s liaison of their family’s housing status and if they have moved. Liaisons can provide information about what happens next and what resources are available. This <a href="https://ecyeh.center-school.org/about/homeless-liaisons/">directory lists all of the liaisons</a> in Pennsylvania.</p>
<p><strong>3. Decide who else should know:</strong> Liaisons will keep information about students’ housing status confidential unless parents want them to inform the child’s teachers or other school personnel. Sharing that information can be helpful. For instance, if inconsistent housing will impact the child’s ability to complete homework or attend school regularly, their teachers can, for example, support the child by being more flexible with deadlines. </p>
<p><strong>4. Connect with the school counselor and social worker:</strong> These are trusted adults within the school system who are trained to provide families with the support they need in a safe and confidential space. They can connect parents and students with the homeless liaison and resources within the school and in the community. </p>
<p><strong>5. Request electronic records:</strong> Parents should try to save all emails that contain educational records from any school their child attended each year. Should housing circumstances lead families to move quickly, these records will be easy to transfer to the new school. While previous schools should eventually transfer records, having a record of grades and coursework helps ensure that a student is placed in the appropriate courses as soon as they start at a new school.</p>
<p><strong>6. Notify the school of any move:</strong> If families need to move outside of their current school district, they should notify their child’s school as soon as possible. Students may be able to continue at their current school despite their new address. Research shows that feeling connected to friend groups as well as teachers <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0042085919877928">improves high school graduation rates</a>. Maintaining these relationships over time can benefit students experiencing homelessness.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/213309/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Stacey Havlik consults to the National Association for the Education of Homeless Children and Youth (NAEHCY) as a member of their Higher Education Committee. She is affiliated with NAEHCY. </span></em></p>A professor of counseling who researches homelessness offers tips so parents can make sure their child gets the school support and accommodations they are entitled to.Stacey Havlik, Associate Professor of Education and Counseling, Villanova UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2110932023-09-26T22:51:51Z2023-09-26T22:51:51ZFamily vlogs can entertain, empower and exploit<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/548388/original/file-20230914-27-rfrjml.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C23%2C5329%2C3523&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Family vlogs can be a double-edged sword that provide families with income, but also lead to exploitation.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/family-vlogs-can-entertain-empower-and-exploit" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>YouTube channels belonging to American content creator Ruby Franke were recently <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/9960389/ruby-franke-youtube-kevin-jodi-hildebrandt/">scrubbed from the site</a> after the YouTuber was charged with child abuse. Franke was known for making parenting videos on her YouTube channel, 8 Passengers. Her videos frequently featured content on the family and her six children.</p>
<p>Police in Utah said the charges were laid after Franke’s 12-year-old son <a href="https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2023/09/05/heres-what-we-know-about-arrest/">climbed out of the window</a> of a home and went to a neighbour to ask for food and water. Police said the boy and his younger sister were found emaciated and required hospitalization. </p>
<p>As blogs and live journals gather internet dust, <a href="https://www.wix.com/blog/photography/how-to-vlog">vlogging</a> has emerged as a new source of intimate entertainment, and for creators, potential income. However, they also raise serious questions about exploitation and the privacy rights of children.</p>
<h2>What is vlogging?</h2>
<p>Vlogs are videos, usually published through social media, that share the creator’s personal thoughts and experiences. Family vlogs like Franke’s are a popular form of this medium, where parents take viewers into their homes. The content might involve taking viewers along on the family’s daily routine. Family vlogging channels upload videos sharing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq1hI0Mmyic">significant milestones</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxUHjIFkeIk&t=401s">morning routines</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkpvqOUrWec">preparing for school</a>. </p>
<p>Many might feel uneasy about <a href="https://theconversation.com/want-to-be-a-social-media-influencer-you-might-want-to-think-again-203306">content creation</a> that showcases private family life. However, at the same time, vlogs might offer families agency and alternative means of making ends meet at a time of stagnant wages and soaring living costs.</p>
<p>Thinking about vlogging as a kind of social reproduction allows us to think through the double-edged sword of content creation. Social reproduction refers to the labour of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8330.00207">lifemaking</a>: the day-to-day work of care, education and sustenance. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0309132518791730">Feminist theorists</a> use this term to think about the ways in which caring labour supports and shapes our social, political and economic world.</p>
<p>Social reproduction is “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8330.00207">the fleshy, messy and indeterminate stuff of everyday life</a>.” It involves the responsibilities and relationships involved in maintaining daily life.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A man and two young children sit in front of cameras and a laptop." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544800/original/file-20230825-21-qhucf7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Many might feel uneasy about content that showcases private family life. However, vlogs offer alternative means of making ends meet.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>A response to the pressures of parenting</h2>
<p>Family vlogging did not develop in a vacuum. Instead, the trend towards “mumpreneurs” emerged from within a <a href="https://newleftreview.org/issues/ii100/articles/nancy-fraser-contradictions-of-capital-and-care">care crisis</a>. The cost of living is rising, wages are stagnating, and government benefits do not provide the support families need. Parents — and mothers in particular — are facing significant pressures when it comes to caring for children and the household.</p>
<p>There has been a rise in gender equity in the workforce, however there is still <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-can-we-reduce-gender-inequality-in-housework-heres-how-58130">huge inequity</a> when it comes to work in the home. Women are working unprecedented (paid and unpaid) hours, and are often being told they are <a href="https://www.sfu.ca/vancity-office-community-engagement/below-the-radar-podcast/series/women-work-more/143-amanda-watson.html">failing at both</a>.</p>
<p>As a response to these pressures, mothers developed their own online communities to express the <a href="https://jarm.journals.yorku.ca/index.php/jarm/article/view/40238">highs and lows of parenting</a>. These communities began as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/1369118X.2016.1187642">“mommy blogs,”</a> but have increasingly moved to vlog format over the years. </p>
<p>Family vlogs can offer intimate counter-narratives to the expectations of parenthood. Mothers can share <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/17504813221123663">the anxieties and pressures they face</a> and offer support to one another.</p>
<h2>Commodifying families</h2>
<p>However, there can be downsides to the trend. Many family vlogs are highly curated productions that can perpetuate ideas about what constitutes “good” motherhood, rather than challenge racialized, gendered and classist <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305117707186">ideals of motherhood</a>. In this way, vlogs are less about connection and more about commodification.</p>
<p>The implications of this monetization are complex. Performing <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/ccc/tcy008">socially desirable</a> forms of motherhood can reproduce racial, sexual and class-based exclusion around who does and who does not count as a good mother. Dominant ideas of “motherhood” are shaped by heterosexual family structures, and there is a <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/37354/women-race-and-class-by-angela-y-davis/">long history</a> of surveilling and <a href="https://utorontopress.com/9781442691520/exalted-subjects/">disciplining</a> racialized parents.</p>
<p>YouTube <a href="https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/72851">creators</a> depend on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/intl/en_ph/creators/how-things-work/video-monetization/">viewership and subscribers</a> to monetize their content. They also use YouTube advertisements, sponsorships and brand deals to generate income. While some creators can make millions of dollars, most do not. Many are precarious workers with fluctuating incomes determined by <a href="https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/141805#zippy=%2Chow-does-youtube-choose-what-videos-to-promote%2Chow-are-videos-ranked-on-home">YouTube’s algorithm</a>. </p>
<p>On the other hand, content creation allows mothers to rebel against economic insecurity by making their motherhood a source of income. While this offers a means of paying the bills, who benefits and who doesn’t when a certain version of the family is commodified? </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A man and a young girl preparing food in a kitchen while a smartphone films" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/544801/original/file-20230825-15-k4cmur.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Many content creators are dependent on social media algorithms that determine what content gets the most views.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Kids and clickbait: What is the law?</h2>
<p>Exploitation is twofold for family vloggers. Firstly, in the United States, parents are considered responsible for protecting their underage children’s privacy information and consent. Many influencers live or move to the U.S. for <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1987946563736">creator funds</a> and better networking opportunities. This can become an issue when <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-arent-there-any-legal-protections-for-the-children-of-influencers-196463">parents exploit their children</a> while also being <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/youtube-lets-lawless-lucrative-sharenting-industry-put-kids-mercy-internet-1635112">in charge of providing consent</a>. </p>
<p>Secondly, <a href="https://static.googleusercontent.com/media/research.google.com/en//pubs/archive/45530.pdf">social media algorithms</a> determine whether a video becomes popular on a platform, which <a href="https://www.youtube.com/intl/en_ca/creators/how-things-work/content-creation-strategy/">prioritizes content that gains the most views</a>.</p>
<p>The algorithms can <a href="https://theconversation.com/want-to-be-a-social-media-influencer-you-might-want-to-think-again-203306">change without warning</a>, so creators never know if their content will remain popular. If family vloggers choose to stop showcasing their children on their channels, they might <a href="https://www.popsugar.com/family/posting-kids-faces-social-media-privacy-49045872">lose viewership</a> and priority within the algorithm.</p>
<p>Existing U.S. laws are unequipped to handle this new form of child labour. <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2023/08/25/illinois-child-influencer-earnings-law-history-jackie-coogan/">The Coogan Act</a> attempts to protect the income of child performers, but it does not account for the unique conditions of child social media stars. </p>
<p>Most recently, <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/child-influencers-law-illinois-reaction-rcna99831">Illinois is the first U.S. state</a> to pass a law to ensure child influencers featured in monetized videos receive financial compensation. The law will take effect in July 2024, and there is hope that other states will follow suit. </p>
<p>This is a good start, but it is not enough. Policymakers should also look at the steps France has taken to protect child influencers. In 2020, the country passed a law that gives children the <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-54447491">right to be forgotten</a>. This means that child influencers can request that the platform removes content featuring them without their parent’s permission.</p>
<p>Laws need to include more than financial compensation for child influencers. There need to be regulations protecting children’s privacy, rights to have content removed and preventing children from being overworked. There also needs to be a call for greater regulation and transparency of social media algorithms that control and manipulate what is profitable.</p>
<p>Whether it is entertainment, exploitation or employment, family vlogging is a reminder of the complex interconnections between care work and wage work. As the households of strangers stream across our screens, parents and lawmakers must think carefully about the impacts on families and children.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/211093/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Rebecca Hall receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Christina Pilgrim does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Vlogging has emerged as a new source of intimate entertainment, and for creators, potential income. However, they also raise serious questions about exploitation and the privacy rights of children.Rebecca Hall, Assistant Professor, Global Development Studies, Queen's University, OntarioChristina Pilgrim, Master's student, Department of Sociology, Queen's University, OntarioLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2083962023-09-14T21:19:18Z2023-09-14T21:19:18ZOntario needs to remove barriers to child-care subsidies for low-income families<iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/ontario-needs-to-remove-barriers-to-child-care-subsidies-for-low-income-families" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>In September, a major turnover in child care occurs, as preschoolers graduate to kindergarten and a new wave of preschoolers enters into early learning and care systems. </p>
<p>This year, the pressures on the child-care sector have increased dramatically as governments are radically decreasing the costs of child care for families as they <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/early-learning-child-care-agreement/agreements-provinces-territories.html">implement Canada-wide early learning and child care (CWELCC)</a> agreements.</p>
<p>The government of Ontario has <a href="https://www.fao-on.org/en/Blog/Publications/2022-education-estimates">projected significant increases in demand for child care</a> as a result of lower fees. In these early days, we are not aware of evidence of this happening, but <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/now-that-daycare-is-cheaper-in-ontario-demand-is-up-are-working-parents-getting-squeezed-out-1.6757416">anecdotally this seems to be the case</a>.</p>
<p>While provinces are talking about increasing the number of spaces, substantial <a href="https://doi.org/10.3138/cpp.2022-059">labour shortages in staff</a> (since pay and benefits are poor in this sector) and insufficient investment in physical spaces likely mean that increases in demand will <a href="https://fao-on.org/en/Blog/Publications/2022-education-estimates">far outpace increases in supply</a>.</p>
<p>When resources are scarce, disadvantaged parents and children receive the short end of the services stick while more affluent families are more likely to secure access to higher-quality services. </p>
<p>Research from 2005 found that following Québec’s move to significantly expand a network of daycare services in 1997 and reduce fees for parents, “<a href="https://irpp.org/research-studies/quality-counts">the overall quality of the daycare settings attended by children from less privileged families was significantly lower</a> than that of those attended by children from more privileged families.” </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/ottawas-10-a-day-child-care-promise-should-heed-quebecs-insights-about-balancing-low-fees-with-high-quality-159626">Ottawa's $10-a-day child care promise should heed Québec’s insights about balancing low fees with high quality</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Ontario’s current implementation plan for child care and early learning agreements runs the risk of leaving disadvantaged families further behind, rather than closing gaps in opportunities and outcomes for their children. To prevent this, Ontario, and indeed all provinces, need to double down on removing barriers to child-care subsidies for low-income families. </p>
<h2>Lower-income families have less access</h2>
<p>In Canada, many children spend a <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-652-x/89-652-x2014005-eng.pdf">significant part of their day in early learning and child care</a>, whether in centres or home-based settings.</p>
<p>With the introduction of new child care agreements across Canada, all families are eligible for substantial fee reduction. </p>
<p>For example, when Ontario’s agreement is fully implemented, fees should be down to approximately $12 per day, regardless of whether both parents (or one parent in single-parent households) work or study. </p>
<h2>$10 a day is a hardship for many</h2>
<p>Before the federal government announced the introduction of Canada-wide early learning and care agreements, most parents who received a child-care subsidy in Toronto paid well below $10 per day. For example, when we examined data pertaining to nearly 900 parents recruited from the City of Toronto’s child-care subsidy waitlist, we found that, based on their financial and work/study activity eligibility, parents paid an average of $3.33 per day. </p>
<p>Since their fee contribution was set based on financial eligibility criteria, this means that $10 per day would be a hardship for many of these families. Without additional fee subsidies, these parents would likely not be able to afford care.</p>
<h2>Complicating factors</h2>
<p>Even if parents can afford child care (whether through their earnings or subsidies), they still need to secure a space. Wait lists for child care can be long, with some parents having to get in line even before their child is born. </p>
<p>This is especially challenging for families who are new to Canada or unfamiliar with the system, as well as those in neighbourhoods with limited child-care options. </p>
<p>As documented by the research of Petr Varmuza, one of the authors of this story, in the City of Toronto, when neighbourhoods have lower levels of income and maternal education, they tend to have lower availability of child care. </p>
<p>One complicating factor is that parents find it hard to evaluate the quality of care their children receive, with many being unaware of whether it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s40723-019-0063-8">licensed or not</a>. </p>
<h2>Disadvantages compounded</h2>
<p>It is concerning that children from lower-income families <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s40723-019-0063-8">are less likely to have access to any form of licensed care</a>. Low-income families tend to have limited knowledge of the child-care sector and tend to live in neighbourhoods with fewer child-care <a href="https://www.oise.utoronto.ca/atkinson/UserFiles/File/Events/2023_Summer_Institute/Michal_Perlman_-_WHO_S_IN_AND_WHO_IS_OUT_CWELCC_AND_EQUITY.pdf">spaces per child</a>. </p>
<p>Furthermore, because subsidies for low-income parents are tied to parent activity, if their circumstances change for any reason (like losing a job, going on parental leave or caring for a sick family member), their subsidy is revoked. And research has linked such <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10643-023-01513-8">disruptions in care to worse outcomes for children</a>. </p>
<p>It is simply unfair that low-income parents are subject to these activity requirements in order to receive the level of subsidy they need while, under the current framework for CWELCC, higher income parents are not subject to these restrictions. </p>
<h2>Remove work/study requirements</h2>
<p>To address this inequity, all work/study requirements for fee subsidies should be removed.</p>
<p>Inclusivity is explicitly stated as an important goal of the federal government’s Canada-wide early learning and child care initiative, and one aimed at providing support to society’s most vulnerable populations and ensuring the healthy development of their children. </p>
<p>However, for vulnerable and marginalized groups, access to early learning and child care remains uncertain. This inclusivity goal must become a top priority to fulfil affordable care for all families.</p>
<p>The ultimate solution is publicly funded child care with enough spaces for everyone.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208396/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Michal Perlman receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, The Lawson Foundation, The Nova Scotia Department of Education and Early Childhood Development and other sources.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Samantha Burns receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council and The Nova Scotia Department of Education and Early Childhood Development. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Petr Varmuza does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>For vulnerable and marginalized groups, access to early learning and child care remains uncertain. Inclusive access must become a top priority to achieve affordable care for all families.Michal Perlman, Professor of Applied Psychology and Human Development, University of TorontoPetr Varmuza, Assistant Researcher, Perlman Lab, Ontario Institute for the Studies of Education, University of TorontoSamantha Burns, Ph.D. Student, Developmental Psychology and Education, University of TorontoLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2102292023-08-15T12:35:07Z2023-08-15T12:35:07ZDaily report cards can decrease disruptions for children with ADHD<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542161/original/file-20230810-23-1fhmc8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Students with ADHD who get a daily report card had 4.5 fewer rule violations per 30-minute class than those without one, one study found.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/father-looking-very-happy-looking-at-his-daughters-royalty-free-image/1389796720">Hispanolistic/E+ Collection/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>As another school year approaches, some caregivers, students and teachers may be feeling something new needs to happen to promote success in the classroom. </p>
<p>Daily report cards can be a great starting point.</p>
<p>As a clinical psychologist who studies <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=BRXERkMAAAAJ&hl=en">how schools can help students with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder</a>, I know traditional report cards distributed three or four times per year don’t do enough to make a difference for children who are prone to outbursts or other challenging behaviors. </p>
<p>Studies <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0014402917706370">conducted by my team</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054717734646">and others</a> support the idea that these students are better served by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02796015.2010.12087748">daily report cards</a>. </p>
<h2>Track daily progress</h2>
<p>Daily report cards date back at least to the 1960s, when they were used in a study involving children attending a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1901/jaba.1970.3-223">special education summer school</a>. </p>
<p>Today they are commonly used for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0014402917706370">children with ADHD</a> in both <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12310-020-09375-w">general education</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02796015.2010.12087775">special education</a> classrooms. Daily report cards have also been used for <a href="https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED607134.pdf">students with autism</a> without intellectual disability. And one study found that many teachers say they use <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/10983007060080030601">versions of a daily report card</a> for brief periods to address behaviors across many different school situations.</p>
<p>A daily report card can be very <a href="https://ccf.fiu.edu/research/_assets/how_to_establish_a_school_drc.pdf">easy for teachers</a> to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10474412.2013.785182">create and use</a>, either with <a href="https://mygoalpal.fiu.edu">an app</a> or by developing them on their own. First, the teacher along with others – who may include the parents, principal, school psychologist or counselor, and even the child if appropriate – should meet to establish goals. Goals should be positively phrased, such as: “Completed work within time given” or “Participated in class discussions without interruption.” </p>
<p>Once set up, the daily report card can take just 10 seconds to complete. The time savings are significant when one considers the alternatives typically used in schools, such as repeated redirection or reprimanding, or sending the student to the principal’s office to be monitored.</p>
<p>Daily report cards also work. </p>
<p>A 2010 study evaluated children with ADHD where half had a daily report card and half did not. Those with the daily report card had an average of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02796015.2010.12087775">4.5 fewer rule violations</a> per 30-minute class than those without one. Extrapolating across a school day, that is 54 fewer daily rule violations on average, and over 10,000 per school year. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Example of a daily report card used in schools" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=464&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=464&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=464&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=583&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=583&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542048/original/file-20230810-25-k9dewx.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=583&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">An example of a daily report card.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Florida International University Center for Children and Families</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Realistic goals</h2>
<p>For many children with challenging behaviors, it is important to set goals that can be easily reached – at least at first. </p>
<p>Over time, the goals can be made more challenging as the child experiences success – a <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Behavior-Modification-What-It-Is-and-How-To-Do-It/Martin-Pear/p/book/9780815366546">process called shaping</a>. For example, if a child interrupts a lesson by calling out about five times per class, the initial goal may be set at “Participates in lesson with no more than four interruptions.” </p>
<p>This would represent an improvement, and it would also ensure the goal was reachable. Once the child met the goal for three to five days in a row, the goal could be changed to “Participates in lesson with no more than three interruptions.”</p>
<h2>Positive parent-teacher communications</h2>
<p>Teachers tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/spq0000442">communicate with caregivers more frequently</a> when a child is experiencing difficulties in the classroom. But these communications often focus on <a href="https://www.additudemag.com/mean-teacher-comments-adhd-students/">negative behaviors</a>. As a result, they can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00131911.2019.1666794">strain relationships</a> between the caregiver and the teacher. Other times, it may result in the caregiver’s avoiding communication with the school. </p>
<p>Daily report cards can result in more positive and solution-focused communication instead of reports focusing only on what went wrong and can therefore enhance caregiver-teacher communication.</p>
<h2>Motivating rewards</h2>
<p>Importantly, the daily report card should be linked to home-based privileges and rewards so that children are motivated to meet daily goals.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, the child brings their daily report card home and, based on their behavior at school that day, home privileges such as an allotment of screen time or a slightly later bedtime can be used as rewards.</p>
<p>Importantly, this is not a punishment program in which a child loses privileges if goals are not met. It also is not bribing the child by providing a reward before an appropriate behavior is completed. Rather, the child starts the day without home privileges and earns them based on positive school behavior. The daily report card tells the child exactly what goals need to be met to earn the motivating privileges. This small difference can be quite powerful for the child because it puts them in charge of how they earn access to things they like to do at home based on how they behaved at school that day.</p>
<p>Evidence suggests this home-based reward system is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02796015.2010.12087775">one of the biggest factors</a> in whether the daily report card is successful. It also provides a new opportunity for the child and caregiver to have a positive discussion about school each day.</p>
<h2>Better than medication?</h2>
<p>There is also evidence that the daily report card is a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2015.1055859">cost-effective approach</a> for children with ADHD as an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2015.1105138">alternative to medication treatment</a>. </p>
<p>My colleagues and I conducted a study in which children with ADHD were randomly assigned to start the school year with either medication or a daily report card. The parents of those assigned the daily report cards took part in classes that taught them how to provide home rewards for it. At the end of the year, the students who started with the daily report card had half as many discipline referrals and 33% fewer disruptive behaviors observed in the classroom than the students receiving medication. The daily report card approach also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2015.1055859">cost less than daily medication</a>. The students who started the school year with the daily report card had overall treatment costs of US$708 less than the students starting with medication.</p>
<p>Teachers and caregivers who want to learn more about daily reports cards can check out the <a href="https://ccf.fiu.edu/research/_assets/how_to_establish_a_school_drc.pdf">downloadable workbook</a> or <a href="https://mygoalpal.fiu.edu">free app</a> designed by my colleagues at Florida International University’s <a href="https://ccf.fiu.edu/">Center for Children and Families</a>. Both resources allow caregivers and teachers to set goals and track a student’s progress. Starting the school year with a daily report card should help the child achieve the positive days needed to get a good grade on their report card at the end of the grading period.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210229/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Gregory Fabiano receives funding from the Department of Education and the National Institutes of Health to study positive behavioral supports like the Daily Report Card. Gregory Fabiano also receives royalties from Guilford Publications for a book written about Daily Report Cards.</span></em></p>Traditional report cards sent home every few months are fine for most students. But for kids with behavioral issues, a daily report card can be a better option.Gregory Fabiano, Professor of Psychology, Florida International UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2109382023-08-03T17:13:25Z2023-08-03T17:13:25ZPrime Minister Justin Trudeau assumes a new role — single dad, just like his own father<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541052/original/file-20230803-21-d1dqsj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C60%2C4493%2C2708&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his son, Hadrien, watch a traditional First Nations game in Whitehorse, Yukon in February 2023</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">THE CANADIAN PRESS/Mike Thomas</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/prime-minister-justin-trudeau-assumes-a-new-role-single-dad-just-like-his-own-father" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>The unexpected announcement in mid-summer of the <a href="https://www.instagram.com/justinpjtrudeau/?hl=en">separation of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Grégoire Trudeau</a> places the prime minister in a new role. </p>
<p>In Canada, unlike in the United States, being married has never been an unwritten requirement to hold the highest political post. However, as Donald Trump illustrated and Ronald Reagan before him, being divorced once or twice, remarrying and <a href="https://www.elitedaily.com/p/which-presidents-have-been-divorced-its-not-a-long-list-18232000">then running for president is seemingly fine</a> by Americans. </p>
<p>In the U.S., a sitting president would probably pay a substantial price if in Trudeau’s position as a newly single dad. </p>
<p>There’s a long history of American presidents and their wives remaining in marriages for the sake of both public appearances and political careers. Several first ladies, <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=123027&page=1">most notably Pat Nixon</a> and an often <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/melania-trump-husband-divorce-revenge-b1928742.html">visibly disengaged Melania Trump</a>, struggled with their role.</p>
<h2>Different systems</h2>
<p>Some of the differences between the two countries stems from the fact that U.S. presidents are elected by the people, while Canadian political leaders are chosen by a relatively small number of party members, and must then ensure the party gains a majority in the House of Commons to become prime minister. People don’t vote directly for prime ministers, but for their party.</p>
<p>As well, the president is both the head of state and head of government of the U.S., while in Canada the prime minister is the head of government, but the British monarch is the ceremonial head of state. </p>
<p>The current monarch, King Charles, knows quite a bit about marital breakdowns, as he <a href="https://www.elle.com/culture/movies-tv/a41935796/princess-diana-prince-charles-divorce-timeline/">separated from Princess Diana, his spouse and mother of two children, in 1993</a>, divorced in 1996 and remarried in 2005. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A dark-haired man looks to the side while a blond woman in red smiles while holding a swaddled baby." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=388&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=388&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=388&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=487&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=487&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541064/original/file-20230803-23-mxmjbn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=487&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Prince Charles (now King Charles) and Princess Diana leave a London hospital in September 1984 with their baby son, Prince Harry. The couple later divorced after a famously unhappy marriage that played out in the public eye.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(AP Photo)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The Governor General is the monarch’s representative in Canada, responsible for carrying out the king’s constitutional duties as he spends most of his days in the United Kingdom. The current holder of the position — Mary Simon — has also been divorced. </p>
<p>As such, Canadians probably won’t take much notice of the Trudeau separation. Indeed, Trudeau’s father Pierre <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1977/05/28/archives/trudeaus-separate-he-keeps-children-trudeau-and-his-wife-separate.html">famously separated from Margaret Trudeau, his spouse</a> (and Justin’s mother), while he was prime minister after several years of marriage. </p>
<p>There was certainly fretting within the Prime Minister’s Office at the time about the public optics of the separation — and suggestions it could actually <a href="https://montrealgazette.com/news/politics/marriage-breakup-likely-wont-impact-trudeaus-political-image-analysts">make Canadians more sympathetic towards the elder Trudeau.</a> He remained prime minister for another six years, and retained primary responsibility for three young children — Canada’s first and only single dad prime minister until this week.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1686798295073517582"}"></div></p>
<h2>Bachelor prime ministers</h2>
<p>Canada has had bachelor prime ministers. </p>
<p>William Lyon Mackenzie King, for example, was single during his entire 21-year tenure in the first half of the 20th century. </p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A black and white photo shows two men in suits in conversation." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=439&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=439&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=439&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=551&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=551&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541066/original/file-20230803-17-cwwxjr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=551&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King and President Franklin D. Roosevelt meet at a conference in Québec City in 1943.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(National Archives of Canada)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>By all accounts he had no close intimate relationships, <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/3545393/canada-150-5-odd-stories-canadian-prime-ministers/">but regularly communicated with the dead</a>, including his mother, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, Leonardo da Vinci, as well has his dogs. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Richard-Bedford-Bennett">R.B. Bennett</a> was also a lifelong bachelor.</p>
<p>So Canadians have experienced single prime ministers and separated and divorced prime ministers. Justin Trudeau isn’t setting a precedent.</p>
<p>The Trudeau separation probably won’t have any negative political implications. <a href="https://www.nationalobserver.com/2023/07/20/opinion/next-federal-election-battle-sexes">Women voters — who overwhelmingly support Trudeau</a> over his Conservative rival Pierre Poilievre — are unlikely to desert him. <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/12/success/justin-trudeau-feminism/index.html">Trudeau came to power with a feminist agenda</a> and his first cabinet was half female. It’s a commitment he’s upheld, placing women in key cabinet positions throughout his time in office.</p>
<p>In a few weeks, he might also appoint a woman to the Supreme Court of Canada, which would <a href="https://theconversation.com/justin-trudeau-is-leaving-his-stamp-on-the-supreme-court-of-canada-207667">give women the majority on the nation’s highest court</a>.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/justin-trudeau-is-leaving-his-stamp-on-the-supreme-court-of-canada-207667">Justin Trudeau is leaving his stamp on the Supreme Court of Canada</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>What’s more, Trudeau commands a formidable public relations machine that will likely ensure his children, and to whatever extent Grégoire Trudeau might wish, are included in public appearances and events. </p>
<h2>Devil is in the details</h2>
<p>The fallout of the separation might prove more costly if the private struggles of the marriage become public, with evidence of Trudeau acting in a manner unbecoming of a feminist or good partner. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="A man with brownish grey hair wearing a dark suit looks down at a news conference." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/541067/original/file-20230803-15-1yp5i6.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">John Tory addresses the media at Toronto city hall in February 2023 as he began to make a scandal-plagued exit from office.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chris Young</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Earlier this year, John Tory, the popular married mayor of Canada’s largest city who was elected three times, decided to end his long political career when <a href="https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/john-tory-resigning-as-toronto-mayor-after-admitting-to-affair-with-staffer-1.6269556">the media reported on his affair with one of his staff</a>. </p>
<p>For Trudeau, assuming the role of a separated parent will create complications. During Trudeau’s tenure as prime minister, Grégoire Trudeau assumed much of the work of raising their three children. She did not pursue — as she might have — a career other than that of a parent and spouse. The child-rearing may now be split more equally, requiring time-allocation decisions from Trudeau.</p>
<p>As a single parent, Trudeau will surely want to carve out more time for his children and for any relationships that he might wish to pursue. He’s now approaching eight years in power, and at age 51, he might want to re-evaluate his private and family priorities. </p>
<p>Like all parents whose marriage results in separation, nothing will quite be the same for those involved. What changes for Trudeau, and the extent that those changes impact Canada’s political life, will be slowly revealed in the months to come.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210938/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Thomas Klassen does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Like everyone whose marriage breaks up, nothing is ever quite the same after. What impact Justin Trudeau’s marital breakup will have on his life and career will be revealed in the months to come.Thomas Klassen, Professor, School of Public Policy and Administration, York University, CanadaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/2106312023-07-31T05:23:10Z2023-07-31T05:23:10ZParents may wait up to 40 years to join family in Australia. Is a visa lottery the answer?<p>“Providing an opportunity for people to apply for a visa that will probably never come seems both cruel and unnecessary”. </p>
<p>This was the view of an <a href="https://www.homeaffairs.gov.au/reports-and-pubs/files/review-migration-system-final-report.pdf">expert panel</a>, commissioned by Home Affairs Minister Clare O'Neil, on Australia’s dysfunctional parent migration system. Parents wanting to migrate to Australia to join their children face extreme delays, even if they can afford a contributory visa, which costs almost $50,000 per person. </p>
<p><a href="https://scanloninstitute.org.au/sites/default/files/2023-07/FINAL%20Scanlon%20Foundation%20Research%20Institute%20Report%20%20NARRATIVE%2011%20%28002%29-compressed.pdf">My report</a> for the Scanlon Foundation Research Institute, published today, finds the backlog of applications for permanent parent visas is approaching 140,000 and has tripled in a decade. Wait times for a contributory visa are at least 12 years, or at least 30 years for a cheaper visa.</p>
<p>How can we fix this? Whichever way the government turns, it faces unpalatable policy choices with unwanted electoral consequences.</p>
<h2>The parent visa conundrum</h2>
<p>The parent visa pipeline includes 86,000 applications for so-called “<a href="https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/getting-a-visa/visa-listing/contributory-parent-143">contributory</a>” visas, and 51,000 for “<a href="https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/getting-a-visa/visa-listing/parent-103">non-contributory</a>” visas.</p>
<p>These are first- and second-class migration options, with price tags to match.</p>
<p>The $47,955 per person charge for a contributory visa is justified on the basis that these first-class parents “contribute” to the cost of the public services they will access as they age. But the Productivity Commission <a href="https://www.pc.gov.au/inquiries/completed/migrant-intake/report/migrant-intake-report-overview.pdf">argues</a> the revenue raised is “a fraction of the fiscal costs” that parents will impose, especially by drawing on health services.</p>
<p>The charge is better understood as a premium paid in return for “quicker” processing. Initially, this worked. When the Howard government first introduced contributory visas in 2003, well-off families were able to swiftly settle parents in Australia, usually within two years. But program numbers were capped from the start, and demand rapidly outstripped supply.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=398&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=398&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=398&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=500&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=500&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/540068/original/file-20230731-235681-z38cp9.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=500&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption"></span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Data to 2021-22 is from Home Affairs and its predecessor departments via annual reports on the migration program and the serial publication Population Flows: Immigration Aspects. Data for 2022-23 is to 30 May 2023, all other data is for 30 June</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In 2022-23, the Albanese government almost doubled the quota from 3,600 to 7,000 places.</p>
<p>Yet even with this higher cap, Home Affairs advises that a new application “may take <em>at least 12 years</em> to process” (their emphasis). The expert migration panel thought this an underestimate – its March <a href="https://www.homeaffairs.gov.au/reports-and-pubs/files/review-migration-system-final-report.pdf">report</a> put the wait time at 15 years.</p>
<p>The cheaper, non-contributory visa has a far lower cap – just 1,500 places last financial year – and so the wait for a visa is even longer. Home Affairs advises that a new application “may take at least 29 years to process”. Again, the expert panel reckons this is optimistic. It estimates processing time at more than 40 years.</p>
<p>Such waiting times are ludicrous.</p>
<p>Parents are generally at least 60 years old when they apply. About 60% of parent migrants are women and often want to settle in Australia while they’re still fit and healthy, so they can enjoy time with young grandchildren and support their Australian children as they build careers.</p>
<p>Alternatively, parents may be recently widowed, isolated or in need of care themselves.</p>
<p>In either scenario, even the shortest wait time of 12 years defeats the purpose of the visa.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1651390616058892288"}"></div></p>
<h2>Can we fix it?</h2>
<p>The panel recommended the government shift to a ballot system as <a href="https://www.immigration.govt.nz/about-us/media-centre/news-notifications/parent-resident-visa-restarts">New Zealand</a> is now doing now, and as <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/lottery-parents-grandparents-immigration-1.4086527">Canada</a> did in 2015.</p>
<p>In Canada, for a limited time each year, families can lodge an expression of interest to <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/sponsor-parents-grandparents.html">sponsor</a> a parent or grandparent to migrate to Canada. Immigration authorities then pull enough names from the hat to fill the annual intake quota. Once an application is accepted, the processing time for a visa is about 2.5 years, and costs are modest.</p>
<p>In 2022, Canada <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/sponsor-parents-grandparents/tell-us-you-want-sponsor-parent-grandparent.html">offered</a> about 23,000 places from a pool of about 155,000 expressions of interest, meaning the odds of a winning ticket were about one in seven.</p>
<p>Is a lottery preferable to a queue? A ballot would be a fairer system than the two-tiered approach Australia operates, which provides a fast lane for the wealthy and a slow lane for everyone else (even though that “fast” lane is now clogged too).</p>
<p>The expert panel argued a ballot could eliminate massive application backlogs because the number of applicants chosen from the lottery would align with the number of available visa places. This obscures the fact that there are likely to be tens of thousands of families that enter the draw and fail to win.</p>
<p>Those families will try again the following year, and again in the years after that, but their chances of success will decline as ever more new hopefuls throw names into the hat. </p>
<p>These families may not be stuck in a queue, but they’re stuck in a disordered heap hoping to get lucky. Their situation wouldn’t be so different from the “cruel and unnecessary” plight of those families currently waiting for a visa that may never arrive. They would also be condemned to living with a mixture of hope, anxiety and uncertainty, unable to plan for the future.</p>
<p>In the outline of its <a href="https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/programs-subsite/files/migration-strategy-outline.pdf">migration strategy</a>, the Albanese government focused on skilled migration, and promised reform of the family program “will be considered separately”.</p>
<p>The current system is failing, but there are no easy answers for the government. </p>
<p>It could abolish permanent parent migration altogether, and upset overseas-born Australians, many of whom vote in key marginal seats.</p>
<p>Or it could attempt to <a href="https://ozvisa4parents.au/">clear the backlog</a> by increasing the cap on permanent parent migration by about 20,000 places annually. Amid an intractable housing crisis and unprecedented pressure on Australia’s health- and aged-care systems, this would hand the Coalition an emotive “big Australia” campaign stick to beat it with at the next election.</p>
<p>A ballot might look like a neat way of avoiding these two extremes, but it fails the key test of clarity. The slim chance of winning the visa lottery will leave families banking on dreams, rather than adjusting to the realities of their situation and fully settling in Australia.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210631/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Peter Mares received funding from The Scanlon Foundation Research Institute to complete the research on which this article is based. He is an honourary fellow with the Centre for Policy Development, an independent policy institute.</span></em></p>Parents wanting to migrate to Australia to join their children face ludicrous delays, and if opting for a paid contributory visa, exorbitant fees.Peter Mares, Adjunct senior research fellow at Monash University's School of Media Film and Journalism, Monash UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.