tag:theconversation.com,2011:/global/topics/childrens-resilience-77402/articleschildren's resilience – The Conversation2023-02-02T19:16:11Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1951952023-02-02T19:16:11Z2023-02-02T19:16:11ZGrit or quit? How to help your child develop resilience<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497156/original/file-20221124-15-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C5176%2C3453&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Grit. Don’t quit.</p>
<p>That’s the mantra many parents may have in mind when they, like me, spend what feels like years ferrying children to a seemingly endless variety of sports and activities. From enduring sheets of almost vertical icy rain while cheering them on a hockey pitch, to obscenely early morning starts for rowing, I can happily say my own grit and resilience has been tested to its upper limits. But what about the children’s?</p>
<p>When it comes to grit, resilience and kids sport, the question around their enrolment, ongoing participation and right to quit is often the topic of much conversation – and consternation. As parents, what should we do when kids announce, often mid-season, they want to “take a break” or quit altogether?</p>
<p>As a parent and educator this raises the question of that invisible line we often tread about how much to push them, when to let them take a break and when it’s OK to just let them quit.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A kid plays soccer." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497149/original/file-20221124-25-8lgmfl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Kids and adolescents are still developing grit and the ability to work strenuously towards a goal.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/kids-playing-soccer-8941650/">Photo by Kampus Production/Pexels</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<p>
<em>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/if-you-want-your-child-to-be-more-resilient-get-them-to-join-a-choir-orchestra-or-band-190657">If you want your child to be more resilient, get them to join a choir, orchestra or band</a>
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<h2>Grit matters</h2>
<p>More than mere buzzwords, the terms grit and resilience have themselves been the subject of extensive research. US-based researcher Angela Duckworth has <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01539/full#B18">defined</a> grit as “perseverance and passion for long-term goal”, saying it involves</p>
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<p>working strenuously towards challenged, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress.</p>
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<p>Grit has been <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01539/full#B35">associated</a> <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01539/full#B6">with</a> growth mindset, satisfaction and a sense of belonging.</p>
<p>One US <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550615574300">study</a> found </p>
<blockquote>
<p>perseverance of effort predicted greater academic adjustment, college grade point average, college satisfaction, sense of belonging, faculty–student interactions, and intent to persist, while it was inversely related to intent to change majors.</p>
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<p>A study of children coping with reading disorders <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11881-021-00238-w">found</a> </p>
<blockquote>
<p>strong evidence that grit and resilience is significantly related to mental health, academic success, and quality of life.</p>
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<p><a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01539/full#B18">Duckworth</a> <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01539/full#B19">suggests</a> resilience is a component of grit but there are other models, too.</p>
<p>For instance, Special Air Service Regiment (SAS) veterans Dan Pronk, Ben Pronk and Tim Curtis (authors of the book, <a href="https://resilienceshield.com/">The Resilience Shield</a>) propose groups of resilience factors as a series “layers” (such as a professional layer, a social layer, an adaptation layer) which interact with each other. They note the challenge of defining resilience, referring to it as “an outcome better than expected given the adversity being faced”.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A girl looks sad at a sport match." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/497155/original/file-20221124-22-vvdz2w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">Grit or quit?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
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<h2>Giving grit a chance to grow</h2>
<p>As adults, perhaps we can reflect on experiences we’ve had in life that have helped build our resilience. But kids and adolescents are still developing grit and the ability to work strenuously towards a goal. Their brains are undergoing significant <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23332574/">developmental changes</a>.</p>
<p>My research has a focus on teacher education and what helps teachers stick with a career that can occasionally be extremely challenging. </p>
<p>Learning to help children and adolescents navigate challenging situations and being able to cultivate your own resilience in the face of trying circumstances is a crucial skill for teachers. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A child's hands on a piano." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/507257/original/file-20230131-14-tpbvcf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Grit has been associated with a growth mindset, satisfaction and a sense of belonging.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
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</figure>
<p>So how do we handle those difficult conversations when kids announce they want to quit a sport or activity?</p>
<p>Firstly, remain neutral and check the temperature of the conversation. Is this a heat-of-the-moment conversation? Right after a big loss or a less-than-stellar piano recital? Good decisions are not usually made in those moments.</p>
<p>Talk to the coach or tutor to figure out what may really be going on. Sometimes the problem can be peer related and again, it is important for kids to learn to navigate those challenges.</p>
<p>All told, when kids announce they want to quit, keep the dialogue open. Listen carefully when they explain their reasons, but talk to your children about grit, too. </p>
<p>Share with them <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-99903-019">research</a> that compares a growth mindset (which teaches that even when things get hard, we can learn and grow and get better) with a fixed mindset (which posits that either you’re good at something or not and there’s little room to change). <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1051129">Research</a> suggests having a growth mindset can foster persistence and positive long-term outcomes.</p>
<p>The key is that parents don’t teach resilience to children just by telling them about it. It is truly built through experience.</p>
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<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/true-grit-we-measured-it-and-found-it-protected-doctors-from-career-burnout-170628">True grit – we measured it and found it protected doctors from career burnout</a>
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</em>
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<img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/195195/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sarah Jefferson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>As adults, we can reflect on experiences we’ve had in life that have helped build our resilience. But kids and adolescents are still developing grit and the ability to work towards a goal.Sarah Jefferson, Lecturer in Education, Edith Cowan UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1654532021-08-23T18:10:26Z2021-08-23T18:10:26ZThis back-to-school during COVID-19, bolster children’s mental and emotional well-being through play<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417002/original/file-20210819-27-7b7rqz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=132%2C286%2C7216%2C4252&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Play will be essential to give children space to work out anxieties, and will also provide many other social and cognitive benefits.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Parents, educators and children alike are watching the calendar as the new school year draws closer. </p>
<p>The last school year was spent under COVID-19 lockdowns, restrictions and school closures, resulting in children being subject <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/covid-19-update-nova-scotia-may-19-2021-1.6032261">to a dizzying array of changes</a>. Added to this were disruptions to daily family life, as many parents scrambled to be both teacher and entertainer to children.</p>
<p>We are part of a growing global team of cross-discipline researchers considering how play and children’s lives have been affected during the pandemic. In our pilot research with five neighbourhood families in Eastern Canada, we found that while parents expressed concern about children’s missed school time, the children aged six to 12 were seeking creative ways to reclaim their former pandemic play lives through virtual sleepovers and Zoom neighbourhood ukulele lessons.</p>
<p>As schools return to in-person learning, the joint efforts of school communities and families to make time for play at school and at home will be essential to give children space to work out anxieties carried over from the pandemic, <a href="https://www.hbe.com.au/ready-to-learn-using-play-to-build-literacy-skills-in-young-learners.html">in addition to providing many other social and cognitive benefits</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A child wearing a face mask looks up at a climbing wall." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417005/original/file-20210819-25-1yrqecd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Play will be essential to give children space to work out anxieties carried over from the pandemic.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<h2>Play and resilience</h2>
<p>Resilience is an important element in childhood development, a <a href="https://sk.sagepub.com/reference/the-sage-handbook-of-developmental-psychology-and-early-childhood-education/i683.xml">reserve of emotional strength a child can draw on for the rest of their lives</a>. </p>
<p>The value of play in developing children’s resilience is well-known. Play is the means by which children <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.lcsi.2017.10.007">experiment and interact with the world</a>. It’s the way they process their classroom and home learning, a vital part of their mental and social development.</p>
<p>The pandemic has highlighted <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/kidsnews/post/canadian-kids-share-their-pandemic-experiences-and-creativity-your-story">children’s play as a wellspring for creativity,
exploration and socialization</a>. But it has also <a href="https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/building-kids-resilience-through-play-is-more-crucial-than-ever">underlined how children experienced</a> the pandemic’s stress and trauma — <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/children-unstructured-play">and how play can help them cope</a>. </p>
<h2>Play affected by pandemic</h2>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="A sign attached to an outdoor play structure says 'COVID-19: Playground closed.'" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=729&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=729&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=729&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=917&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=917&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417007/original/file-20210819-27-1x1y4kz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=917&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Children have had to cope with seeing their familiar playspaces shut down.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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</figure>
<p>Children and families have watched as the pandemic unravelled the world of school, <a href="https://thetyee.ca/News/2020/07/02/BC-Urged-Respond-Pandemic-Kid-Crisis">children’s activities and playgrounds</a>. </p>
<p>Important milestones, such as concerts and graduations were held virtually in socially distanced classrooms. Teachers and parents alike were dismayed at the loss of children’s “red-carpet” moments. </p>
<p>While some education officials might argue that post-pandemic <a href="https://en.unesco.org/covid19/educationresponse">academic recovery</a> should be first priority following gaps in face-to-face education, our concern is that <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/students-falling-behind-pandemic-1.6014355">academic recovery should not — and need not</a> — come at the expense of bolstering children’s mental and emotional well-being through play. </p>
<p>Play is also critical in laying the groundwork for <a href="https://www.stenhouse.com/content/invitations-play">academic learning both in terms of children’s socio-emotional regulation as well as for the development of motor skills and conceptual thinking</a>.</p>
<h2>Returning to school</h2>
<p>We heard from parents who participated in our research that online schooling gave them a new window into the challenges of teaching. </p>
<p>One parent said they worried that their child wouldn’t stay focused, but the teacher tried very hard, having the kids do scavenger hunts for objects from the book they were reading, or timed exercises to give their bodies a break. </p>
<p>Such attention to children’s rhythms and needs will need to continue as they return to in-person learning.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, continuing COVID-19 protocols and practices in children’s environments will restrict play. This will necessitate using creative strategies to address how children can play freely and socially during school <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cch.12832">and have venues to communicate and express their feelings</a>. </p>
<p>It will be important to continue to talk with children about the important roles they play in helping to keep themselves and others safe, such as through handwashing. Open communication and play, especially when these happen in dialogue with each other, will be vital as children return to school and play with friends.</p>
<h2>Communicate, give kids clear facts</h2>
<p>Tracy Rose, director of the Memorial University Childcare Centre, said: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“I encouraged parents to keep communication open to children’s questions — but also to be aware of transferring adult-related stress onto children.”</p>
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<p>Many teachers understood at the height of the pandemic that balancing their own fears against children’s needs would be critical. One teacher relayed to us that she read the book <em><a href="https://teachersbooksreaders.com/2020/08/11/why-did-the-whole-world-stop-talking-with-kids-about-covid-19-by-heather-black">Why Did the Whole World Stop? Talking with Kids about COVID-19</a></em> just before children left for an extended lockdown: </p>
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<p>“It was fact-based and honest, and told them a truth they could understand.” </p>
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<p>Children are adept at taking understandable facts, and transferring them into play spaces to wrestle with their meanings. This gives children some of the crucial tools they need to interpret stressful times and build resilience.</p>
<p>We have already seen how children are playing out their COVID-19 experiences in classrooms — for example, <a href="https://twitter.com/MKindergartens/status/1397339514192924675">kindergarteners pretending to give vaccines</a>. Even if parents and teachers don’t always include children in discussions about the pandemic, children are still listening and learning through play. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="A child gives a doll a vaccine." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/417274/original/file-20210820-17-1gylo9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Children will play out their COVID-19 experiences and what they have heard about the pandemic.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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</figure>
<h2>Collaborating about importance of play</h2>
<p>Understanding and promoting children’s play during COVID-19 requires global <a href="https://play-observatory.com/about/about">collaboration and knowledge exchange among researchers, educators and policy-makers</a>. </p>
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<em>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-spotlights-equity-and-access-issues-with-childrens-right-to-play-137187">Coronavirus spotlights equity and access issues with children's right to play</a>
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</p>
<hr>
<p>We believe our global research efforts can help advance our society’s understanding about the role of play in supporting resilience, renewal and recovery in diverse contexts and cultures. This knowledge can better mitigate many negative societal effects experienced by children and families during moments of crises like the pandemic. It can also further amplify the often-unheard voices of children. </p>
<h2>Recovering lost ground</h2>
<p>Despite the trials of the past year, children will thrive if <a href="https://teachereducationnetwork.blogspot.com/2021/05/childrens-play-in-pandemic-times.html">play offers them opportunities to foster resiliency and emotional health</a>.</p>
<p>Play develops children’s resiliency — their best defence mechanism during times of stress, confusion and crisis. As we move beyond COVID-19, opportunities to play will be paramount to recovering lost ground in a changed world.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/165453/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Anne Burke receives funding from Social Sciences Humanities Research Council
</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Kristiina Kumpulainen receives funding from the Academy of Finland and European Union.</span></em></p>Communicating clearly with children and providing space for them to play will be vital during back-to-school and beyond as children manage stressors associated with COVID-19.Anne Burke, Professor, Faculty of Education, Memorial University of NewfoundlandKristiina Kumpulainen, Associate Professor, Faculty of Education, Simon Fraser UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1445512020-09-28T12:22:39Z2020-09-28T12:22:39ZStressful times are an opportunity to teach children resilience<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/359452/original/file-20200922-18-1cxhiu0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=150%2C281%2C6559%2C4054&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">To protect students and communities across the U.S. from COVID-19, many districts have switched to digital learning or a hybrid of in-classroom and virtual schooling.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/boy-with-surgical-mask-royalty-free-image/1216496732?adppopup=true">ZEPHYR/Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Between the global COVID-19 pandemic, the associated <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/recovery-tracker">economic downturn</a> and widespread protests over racism, it’s difficult for everyone. Many people are struggling, consumed with anxiety and stress, finding ourselves unable to sleep or focus. </p>
<p>As a <a href="https://sasn.rutgers.edu/about-us/faculty-staff/vanessa-lobue">developmental psychologist and researcher</a> on anxiety and fear in infants and young children, I have been particularly concerned about the impact of the pandemic on young people’s mental health. Many have not physically been in school since March. They’re isolated from friends and relatives. Some fear that they or loved ones will contract the virus; they may be hurt in racial violence or violence at home – or they might lose their home in a <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/wildfires">wildfire</a> or flood. These are very real life stressors. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3574783/">Decades of research</a> have documented serious consequences from chronic stress in childhood. But psychologists have identified ways in which parents teach children how to cope with adversity – an idea commonly known as resilience.</p>
<h2>The effects of childhood stress</h2>
<p>Children cannot be protected from everything. Parents get divorced. Children grow up in poverty. Friends or loved ones are injured, fall ill or die. Kids can experience neglect, physical or emotional abuse or bullying. Families immigrate, end up homeless or live through natural disasters. </p>
<p>There can be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579400005812">long-term consequences</a>. Hardship in childhood can physically alter <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/long_term_consequences.pdf">the brain architecture</a> of a developing child. It can impair <a href="https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects">cognitive and social-emotional development</a>, impacting learning, memory, decision-making and more. </p>
<p>Some children develop emotional problems, act out with aggressive or disruptive behavior, form unhealthy relationships or end up in trouble with the law. School performance often suffers, ultimately limiting job and income opportunities. The risk of suicide or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3051362/">drug and alcohol abuse</a> can increase. Kids who are exposed to chronic stress may also develop <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/past-trauma-may-haunt-your-future-health">lifelong health issues</a>, including heart attack, stroke, obesity, diabetes and cancer.</p>
<p>So how do some kids thrive amidst serious challenges, while others are overwhelmed by them? Researchers in my field are working to identify what helps children overcome obstacles and flourish when the odds are stacked against them. </p>
<p>It seems to come down to both support and <a href="https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/resilience/Pages/Promoting-Resilience.aspx">resilience</a>. Resilience is <a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/resilient">defined</a> as the ability to spring back, rebound or readily recover from adversity. It’s a quality that allows people to be competent and accomplished despite tough circumstances. Some children from <a href="https://www.minnpost.com/mental-health-addiction/2014/09/ann-masten-children-s-natural-resilience-nurtured-through-ordinary-m/">difficult backgrounds</a> do well from a young age. Others bloom later, finding their paths once they reach adulthood.</p>
<p>Ann Masten, a pioneer in developmental psychology research, referred to resilience as “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/imhj.21625.">ordinary magic</a>.” Resilient kids don’t have some kind of superpower that helps them persevere while others flounder. It isn’t a trait we’re born with; it’s something that can be fostered. </p>
<h2>The key factors that help kids build resilience</h2>
<p>The same <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/23360362">executive function skills</a> that create academic success seem to bestow critical coping strategies. With the capacity to focus, solve problems and switch between tasks, children find ways to adapt and deal with obstacles in a healthy way. </p>
<p>Controlling behavior and emotions is also key. In a recent <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2019.04.033">study</a>, 8- to 17-year-olds who maintained emotional balance despite mistreatment were less likely to suffer from depression or other emotional problems.</p>
<p>However, relationships seem to be the foundation that keep children grounded. “<a href="https://ndfbsa.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Ordinary-Magic-Summer-1.pdf">Attachment relationships</a>” provide a lifelong sense of security and belonging. A parent’s or caregiver’s <a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/09/cover-resilience">consistent support and protection</a> is crucial for healthy development and the most important of these relationships. Other caring adults can help: friends, teachers, neighbors, coaches, mentors or others. <a href="https://experts.umn.edu/en/publications/resilience-and-development-contributions-from-the-study-of-childr">Having steadfast support</a> lends stability and helps kids build self-esteem, self-reliance and strength. </p>
<p>Ruth Bader Ginsburg is an icon of resilience. She grew up in a Brooklyn working-class neighborhood and lost her mother – her main support figure – to cancer before graduating from high school. She persevered, graduated first in her class at Cornell University and ultimately became one of only four women to serve on the Supreme Court. Another example is John Lewis, who was the son of sharecroppers in segregated Alabama, yet become a pioneer in the civil rights movement and served 33 years in Congress.</p>
<h2>How to encourage resilience at home</h2>
<p>There are many ways parents can help their children build resilience. Allowing children to talk – and really <a href="https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/How-to-Support-Your-Childs-Resilience-in-a-Time-of-Crisis.aspx">listening</a> – shows caring and acceptance, validates their feelings and helps them contextualize issues. </p>
<p>Sometimes the answer is <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/52812781e4b0bfa86bc3c12f/t/5c79b71d53450a1f0b8f48ac/1551480606735/Anaya+%26+P%C3%A9rez-Edgar+%282019%29.pdf">allowing kids some degree of autonomy</a>. Trusting them to try things on their own – and even fail – can help them learn to solve problems or deal with anger, disappointment or other uncomfortable emotions. <a href="https://challengingbehavior.cbcs.usf.edu/docs/Smell-Blow.pdf">“Calm breathing” techniques</a> offer another tool that helps children control emotions.</p>
<p>It’s important to note that many children face not just one but <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/001440299606200302?casa_token=H4VlYWdAhrsAAAAA:udWO-GTJh9MRVHW5WBs_w9wtFREBoQr5oDWtQxF_lU6FSxO_xsaMxFRaeeXyTgAOFmoSVz06DerhZQ">many</a>
hardships. For example, kids who live in poverty may have less present or less competent parents; have high daily levels of stress; suffer hunger, poor nutrition or live in crowded conditions, with few parks; have no health care; study in substandard schools; and have greater likelihood of abuse. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.ddcf.org/globalassets/child-well-being/16-0404-acadpeds_sandeletal.pdf">Community-level</a> interventions can help reduce risks while helping children build resilience. These initiatives can provide better living circumstances through affordable housing and improve health by reducing pollution. Strong programs can engage teachers, parents and community members build a stable support system for local children.</p>
<p>Classes in “social and emotional learning” have been gaining traction in schools. This curriculum teaches children to understand and manage their feelings, develop empathy for others, make responsible decisions and solve problems. </p>
<p>[<em>Insight, in your inbox each day.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/the-daily-3?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=insight">You can get it with The Conversation’s email newsletter</a>.]</p>
<p>These programs yield <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsurg.2019.12.003">tangible results</a>: one analysis of 270,000 participants <a href="https://casel.org/what-is-sel/">showed that students</a> raised their grades by an average of 11%. Other studies revealed that fewer participants dropped out of school, used drugs or engaged in criminal activity – and school behavior improved.</p>
<p>Helping children build resilience is particularly critical now, as Americans face particular turbulence in daily life. Parents, too, need to guard their mental health in order to provide kids with crucial support: Building resilience isn’t just kid stuff. </p>
<p>More than <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ998751">5 million kids</a> in the U.S. experience some kind of trauma each year. Thousands more live with chronic stress. So amid a global pandemic, it’s more important than ever to provide children with as much support and “ordinary magic” as we can.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/144551/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Vanessa LoBue does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Children struggle amidst adversity, but these tumultuous and highly emotional times make it a critical time to teach ‘resilience’ – giving kids coping skills.Vanessa LoBue, Assistant Professor of Psychology, Rutgers University - NewarkLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1252112019-10-27T12:05:27Z2019-10-27T12:05:27ZCyberbullying: Help children build empathy and resilience as their identity develops<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/296907/original/file-20191014-135525-1ovp2lh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C58%2C6247%2C3084&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A crowd listens at a celebration of life for 14-year-old Carson Crimeni, in Langley, B.C. Disturbing video shared via social media before Crimeni’s overdose death last summer showed the teen struggling while people are heard laughing.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Disturbing events related to cyberbullying in <a href="https://edmonton.citynews.ca/2019/08/23/carson-crimeni-big-story-podcast/">recent months</a> <a href="https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/n-s-fine-tuning-cyberbullying-law-prompted-by-parsons-death-minister-says-1.3874509">and years</a> have raised great concern among parents, youths and educators regarding the everyday lives of children in online spaces — as well as <a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/british-columbia/article-carson-crimeni-and-bullyings-dark-frightening-progress/">how they develop their capacities to judge right and wrong</a>. </p>
<p>Cyberbullying is what happens <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00405841.2013.829727">when bullying plays out online</a>. It’s based on imbalanced power relationships between the perpetrator and the victim, with intent to intimidate, coerce or harm. </p>
<p>According to <a href="https://www.prevnet.ca/">PREVNet, a network offering research and resources for bullying prevention</a> based at Queen’s and York universities, <a href="https://www.prevnet.ca/research/bullying-statistics/cyberbullying">one in three children admits they have experienced cyberbullying</a>. </p>
<p>Often the first intuitive responses of parents or educators to cyberbullying and online hate is to search for guidelines aimed at restricting the use of particular online platforms, or to reinforce penalties for bad behaviour. </p>
<p>But restricting media use alone or stressing penalties doesn’t speak to deeper critical issues, like children’s judgment when relating to others, their own empathy for peers and their sense of agency to influence outcomes. Helping children to develop their socio-emotional skills can be helpful in preparing them to handle vulnerable situations.</p>
<h2>Virtual playgrounds</h2>
<p>As researchers in child and youth development and social media use, we believe it is critical to consider some underlying elements that can help build resilience and encourage young people to respond more effectively to online hate and cyberbullying.</p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297740/original/file-20191018-56203-zp7hmu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Online technologies have permeated the lives of children in affluent societies whose play worlds have been increasingly technologized.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Our research at Concordia University, Project SOMEONE, examines <a href="https://projectsomeone.ca/">children’s everyday engagement with social media</a> and seeks to understand how education might address online hate. </p>
<p>The ubiquitous presence of online technologies has permeated the lives of children in affluent societies whose play worlds have been increasingly influenced by technology. Virtual worlds have been deemed “<a href="https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/langandlit/index.php/langandlit/article/view/19779">the new playgrounds for children of the 21st century</a>.” Adults must therefore consider what happens when children’s identity <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jade.12116">development through play</a> is now being worked out online.</p>
<h2>Identity development</h2>
<p>Sociological researchers over the past century have highlighted how the self changes over time. An important contribution was made by sociologist George Herbert Mead, who argued that <a href="https://www.press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/M/bo20099389.html">children develop their identities when they start interacting with other people and realizing there are different roles in different contexts</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=924&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=924&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=924&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1161&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1161&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297744/original/file-20191018-56211-6xf2n1.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1161&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Mind, Self & Society by George Herbert Mead.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(University of Chicago Press)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The self is not independent from social and cultural contexts, but develops through <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0959354397074003">an ongoing process of reacting to a social stimulus, and the adjustment and readjustment of one’s behaviour</a>. In early years, when children engage in pretend play, their associations are concretely related to the people and situations they know. But at older ages, children’s play and enactment are no longer limited to those they personally know. </p>
<p>Through play and games children learn conventions and rules (such as in a baseball game). Developing an understanding of rules and conventions is part of socialization. These rules and conventions are not divorced from children’s learned behaviour about who is worthy of respect and why. </p>
<p>Understanding how children develop their self-consciousness and internalize certain social norms, roles and attitudes is essential. Children’s identities emerge through <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/12390/the-social-construction-of-reality-by-peter-l-berger/">their complex interrelations with particular individuals and society.</a></p>
<p>How children learn and build up certain assumptions about others is critical to how they develop their notions of what’s true or how they fashion their knowledge of the world. In the world of play, this “other” may gradually gradually become a target of bullying and hate.</p>
<p>We argue that as children develop, they begin to see the world as divided into categories such as strong or weak. Notions of “us versus them” or “acceptance versus hate” can grow unchecked, especially during adolescence years. Youth explore their personal identity relative to their community and vis-à-vis social groups that they perceive as different from their own.</p>
<h2>Advancing resilience</h2>
<p>A <a href="https://www.publicsafety.gc.ca/cnt/rsrcs/pblctns/bllng-prvntn-schls/index-en.aspx">holistic approach</a> to cyberbullying strives to create experiences and contexts for youth where they can develop <a href="https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674027343">reflectiveness, agency and relatedness</a> as aspects of resilience, and where they can improve their interpersonal skills. These attributes and skills are key in developing the ability to resist bullying or the ability to intervene when needed, and can greatly mitigate the impact of cyberbullying. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=685&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=685&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=685&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=861&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=861&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/297745/original/file-20191018-56203-1mv93de.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=861&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">People’s ability to resist, as well as to intervene when needed, can greatly mitigate the effect of harassment.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Warren Wong/Unsplash)</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In order to build resilience in individual students, and in school communities, an ongoing effort is needed to include dialogue with the bullied students as well as with the perpetrators. </p>
<p>But such efforts should not be confined to responding to specific cases. Rather, schools or parents can emphasize holistic approaches that consider children’s socio-emotional lives. Helping students to critically reflect on their assumptions and feelings about aspects of identity — like race, gender and social class, or their own positions in society and their own behaviour — is essential for building their resilience.</p>
<p>Students can also learn to support each other, to role-play vulnerable social situations and explore and deconstruct their social and cultural narratives: how they see themselves and others. </p>
<p>There is no panacea for hate and violence. But when parents and educators pay attention to children’s development of resilience and empathy, children and youth will be better prepared to understand and counter hateful messages in online spaces.</p>
<p>[ <em>Deep knowledge, daily.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/ca/newsletters?utm_source=TCCA&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=deepknowledge">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter</a>. ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/125211/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sandra Chang-Kredl received funding as a Co-Investigator from Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness Canada (2017-2019). Principal Investigator:Vivek Venkatesh.
</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dan Mamlok does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Children’s identity development through play is now being worked out online – so adults must consider what this means, and support learning in reflectiveness, relatedness and agency.Dan Mamlok, Horizon Postdoctoral Fellow, Department of Education, Concordia UniversitySandra Chang-Kredl, Associate Professor in Education, Concordia UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.