tag:theconversation.com,2011:/uk/topics/valentines-day-2020-81881/articlesValentine's Day 2020 – The Conversation2020-02-13T14:14:08Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1309882020-02-13T14:14:08Z2020-02-13T14:14:08ZAmerica’s postwar fling with romance comics<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315078/original/file-20200212-61912-op3vlq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=125%2C52%2C1067%2C711&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">With over 100 issues, 'Young Love' was one of the longest running romance comics series. </span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Gary Lee Watson Comic Book Collection, Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections, University of South Carolina Libraries</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Last year, comic book enthusiast <a href="https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/582733/gary-watson-comic-collection-donated-university-south-carolina">Gary Watson</a> donated his massive personal collection to <a href="https://sc.edu/about/offices_and_divisions/university_libraries/browse/irvin_dept_special_collections/index.php">the Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections</a> at the University of South Carolina. </p>
<p>As the <a href="https://sc.edu/about/offices_and_divisions/university_libraries/about/contact/faculty-staff/weisenburg_michael.php">reference and instruction librarian</a>, I’m tasked with getting to know the collection so I can exhibit parts of it and use the materials for teaching. One of the great pleasures of assessing and cataloging Watson’s collection has been learning about how comic books have changed over time. Sifting through Watson’s vast collection of 140,000-plus comics, I’m able to see the genre’s entire trajectory.</p>
<p>Before World War II, superheroes were all the rage. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/aug/17/art-spiegelman-golden-age-superheroes-were-shaped-by-the-rise-of-fascism">Reflecting anxieties</a> over the Great Depression, the rise of fascism and the march to war, readers yearned for mythical figures who would defend the disenfranchised and uphold liberal democratic ideals.</p>
<p>Once the war ended, the content of comic books started to change. Superheroes gradually fell out of fashion and a proliferation of genres emerged. Some, such as <a href="http://www.powerhousebooks.com/books/golden-age-western-comics/">Westerns</a>, offered readers a nostalgic fantasy of a pre-industrial America. Others, like <a href="https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114164218">true crime</a> and <a href="https://www.outrightgeekery.com/2017/10/18/the-rise-fall-and-rebirth-of-horror-comics-a-history/">horror</a>, hooked readers with their lurid tales, while <a href="https://comicsalliance.com/best-silver-age-sci-fi-covers-gallery/">science fiction comics</a> appealed to the wonders of technological advancement and trepidation about where it might lead us.</p>
<p>But there was also a brief period when the medium was dominated by the romance genre. </p>
<p>Grounded in artistic and narrative realism, romance comics were remarkably different from their superhero and sci-fi peers. While the post-war popularity of romance comics only lasted a few years, these love stories ended up actually having a strong influence on other genres.</p>
<h2>Romance comics’ origin story</h2>
<p>Though today they are most famous for creating “Captain America,” the creative duo of Joe Simon and Jack Kirby <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=gUCgAwAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&pg=PA46#v=onepage&q&f=false">launched the romance comic book genre in 1947</a> with the publication of a series called “Young Romance.” </p>
<p>Teen comedy series like “<a href="https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/1/26/13149304/archie-comics-riverdale-evolution">Archie</a>” had been around for a few years and occasionally had romantic story lines and subplots. Romance pulps and true confession magazines had been around for decades. </p>
<p>But a comic dedicated to telling romantic stories hadn’t been done before. With the phrase “Designed for the More Adult Readers of Comics” <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Young_Romance_Issue_1.jpg">printed on the cover</a>, Simon and Kirby signaled a deliberate shift in expectations of what a comic could be. </p>
<p>While most scholars have argued that <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=9pPgDE63U9oC&lpg=PP1&pg=PA127#v=onepage&q&f=false">romance comics tend to reinforce conservative values</a> – making marriage the ultimate goal for women and placing family and middle-class stability on a pedestal – the real pleasure of reading these books came from the mildly scandalous behavior of their characters and the untoward plots that the narratives were ostensibly warning against. With titles like “I Was a Pick-Up!,” “The Farmer’s Wife” and “The Plight of the Suspicious Bridegroom,” “Young Romance” and its sister titles <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=9pPgDE63U9oC&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&lpg=PP1&dq=Comic%20Book%20Nation%3A%20The%20Transformation%20of%20Youth%20Culture%20in%20America.&pg=PA128#v=onepage&q&f=false">quickly sold out of their original print runs</a> and began outselling other comics genres.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=497&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=497&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=497&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=625&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=625&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315088/original/file-20200212-61958-1y8dre8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=625&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Issue #1 of ‘Teen-Age Romances’ (St. John, 1949).</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Gary Lee Watson Comic Book Collection, Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections, University of South Carolina Libraries</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Other publishers noticed the popularity of the genre and followed suit with their own romance titles, most of which closely followed Simon and Kirby’s style and structure. <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=ndJ7BwAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false">By 1950</a>, about 1 in 5 of all comic books were romance comics, with almost 150 romance titles being sold by over 20 publishers.</p>
<p>The rage for all things romance was so sudden that publishers eager to take advantage of the new market altered titles and even content in order to save on <a href="https://www.comichron.com/faq/postalsalesdata.html">second-class postage permits</a>. Second-class or periodical postage is a reduced rate that publishers can use to save on the cost of mailing to recipients. Rather than apply for new permits every time they tested a new title, comics publishers would simply alter a failing title while retaining the issue numbering in order to keep using the preexisting permit. To comics historians, this is a telltale sign that the industry is undergoing a sudden change. </p>
<p>One striking example of this is when comics publisher Fawcett ended its failing superhero comic “<a href="https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=72086">Captain Midnight</a>” in 1948 with issue #67 and launched its new title, “<a href="https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=63254">Sweethearts</a>,” in issue #68. In this case, the death of a superhero comic became the birth of a romance comic. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=518&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=518&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=518&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=651&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=651&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315086/original/file-20200212-61912-e6lwjk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=651&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Issue #3 of ‘Bride’s Romances’ (Quality Comics, 1953).</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Gary Lee Watson Comic Book Collection, Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections, University of South Carolina Libraries</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>With so many new titles flooding newsstands and department stores, the bubble was bound to burst. In what comic book historian Michelle Nolan <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=ndJ7BwAAQBAJ&lpg=PR4&ots=e23lp1L4DI&dq=Nolan%2C%20Michelle%20(2008).%20Love%20on%20the%20Racks%3A%20A%20History%20of%20American%20Romance%20Comics.%20McFarland%20%26%20Company%2C%20Inc.&pg=PA62#v=onepage&q&f=false">has dubbed</a> “the love glut,” 1950 and 1951 witnessed a rapid boom and bust of the romance genre. Many romance titles were canceled by the mid-1950s, even as stalwarts of the genre, such as “Young Romance,” remained in print into the mid-1970s. </p>
<p>There was the brief popularity of the sub-genre of gothic romance comics in the 1970s – series with names like “The Sinister House of Secret Love” and “The Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love.” But romance comics would never approach their brief, postwar peak.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=554&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=554&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=554&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=696&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=696&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315111/original/file-20200212-61966-vvwu6j.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=696&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Gothic romances – like this issue of ‘The Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love’ – had a brief run in the 1970s.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Gary Lee Watson Comic Book Collection, Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections, University of South Carolina Libraries</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>A brief boom, an enduring influence</h2>
<p>Among collectors, issues of romance comics are less sought after than those of other genres. For this reason, they tend to go under the radar.</p>
<p>Romance comics, however, featured work by pioneering artists like <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/real-life-comic-book-superhero-74267">Lily Renée</a> and <a href="https://www.twomorrows.com/media/MattBakerPreview.pdf">Matt Baker</a>, both of whom worked on first issue of “Teen-Age Romances” in 1949. </p>
<p>Baker is the first-known black artist to work in the comic book industry and Renée was one of comics’ first female artists. Prior to working on “Teen-Age Romances,” they both drew “<a href="https://www.goodgirlcomics.com/good-girl-history/">good girl art</a>” – a set of artistic tropes borrowed from pinups and pulp magazines – for several titles. Their work in both genres exemplifies how earlier pulp magazine themes of desire and seduction could readily be applied to newer genres. </p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=895&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=895&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=895&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1125&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1125&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/315090/original/file-20200212-61912-w4chvh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1125&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">‘But He’s the Boy I Love’ was one of the few romance comic to feature black characters.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Gary Lee Watson Comic Book Collection, Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections, University of South Carolina Libraries</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>After the “love glut,” sub-genre mashups nonetheless emerged. For example, <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=ndJ7BwAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&pg=PA86#v=onepage&q&f=false">cowboy romances</a> were briefly popular. Later, in response to the civil rights movement, Marvel published the 1970 story “<a href="https://truelovecomicstales.blogspot.com/2016/02/our-love-story-but-hes-boy-i-love.html">But He’s the Boy I Love</a>,” which was the first story in a romance comic to feature African-American characters since Fawcett’s three-issue run of “<a href="https://www.mycomicshop.com/search?TID=360151">Negro Romance</a>” in 1950. </p>
<p>Even after romance comics largely fell out of fashion, the genre’s visual tropes and narrative themes became more prevalent during what’s known as the “<a href="https://www.cosmiccomics.vegas/latest-news/the-history-of-silver-age-comic-books/">Silver Age</a>,” a superhero revival that lasted from 1956 to 1970. Titles such as “Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane” often borrowed heavily from romance for their plots to generate intrigue and tension in the hopes of driving up sales. </p>
<p>Issue 89, in which Lois marries Bruce Wayne, is a prime example of such marketing techniques. Issues such as these were often situated as “what if” narratives that offered readers speculative story lines, such as “What if Lois Lane married Bruce Wayne?” Though they’re generally thought of as separate from the superhero canon, these love stories show that comic book writers had internalized the main narrative techniques of romance comics even if the genre itself was in decline. </p>
<p>But other comics didn’t merely use romantic themes for the occasional gimmick issue. Instead, they made the love lives of their characters a central plot point and a fundamental aspect of their characters’ identities. Comics such as the “Fantastic Four” and the “X-Men” rely heavily on the heated emotions and jealousies found in group dynamics and love triangles.</p>
<p>Take Wolverine. Presumably tough and stoic, he’s so enamored of Jean Grey – and so envious of her love interest, Scott Summers – that you could argue that unrequited love is one of his primary motivations throughout the series.</p>
<p>Thanks to romance comics, even stoic superheroes got bitten by the love bug.</p>
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<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Michael C. Weisenburg does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>During the ‘love glut,’ roughly 1 in 5 of all comic books were romance comics, as publishers scrambled to appease readers’ appetites for scandalous storylines.Michael C. Weisenburg, Reference & Instruction Librarian at Irvin Department of Rare Books & Special Collections, University of South CarolinaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1308622020-02-13T00:36:16Z2020-02-13T00:36:16ZGalentine’s Day has become a thing – why hasn’t Malentine’s Day?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/315123/original/file-20200212-61958-qxv669.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Men seem more hesitant about both making friends and celebrating their friendships.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/one-man-patting-other-mans-shoulders-1506189866">miniwide/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>On Feb. 13, women will celebrate Galentine’s Day, a holiday trumpeting the joys of female friendships.</p>
<p>The holiday can trace its origins to <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1559851/">a 2010 episode</a> of “Parks and Rec,” in which the main character, Leslie Knope, decides that the day before Valentine’s Day should be an opportunity to celebrate the platonic love among women, ideally with booze and breakfast food. </p>
<p>In the years since the episode aired, the fictional holiday has <a href="https://www.insider.com/celebrities-celebrating-galentines-day-photos-2019-2">caught</a> <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/galentines-day-what-is-meaning-parks-rec-women-friends-leslie-knope-amy-poehler-a8774176.html%5D%20alike">on</a> in the real world.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="InstagramEmbed" data-react-props="{"url":"https://www.instagram.com/p/B8e0NtOnUns","accessToken":"127105130696839|b4b75090c9688d81dfd245afe6052f20"}"></div></p>
<p>But why hasn’t there been a male equivalent?</p>
<p>If anything, it seems that men should crave such a holiday. As a sociologist who studies <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1016575909173">gender</a>, <a href="https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/701155?mobileUi=0&">culture</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08952841.2019.1593774">politics</a>, I know that men <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1751-9020.2011.00447.x">are reporting</a> that they feel <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30038995?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents">increasingly isolated</a> as <a href="https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/64B/suppl_1/i38/554405">they age</a>, and that this isolation can negatively affect their <a href="https://kopernio.com/viewer?doi=10.1073/pnas.1219686110&token=WzI1NDMwMSwiMTAuMTA3My9wbmFzLjEyMTk2ODYxMTAiXQ.YcjcFb0NTIEnmv_vG3IOeofYr1Y">physical</a> and <a href="https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/full/10.1146/annurev-soc-070308-120011">mental health</a>.</p>
<p>But it seems that a set of cultural pressures prevent a holiday like “Malentine’s Day” from catching on.</p>
<h2>Age and isolation</h2>
<p>For one, men have more difficulty making and keeping friends as they age. </p>
<p>This could be due to the fact that male friendships are often <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.3149/jms.2201.34?casa_token=UgRtQnZTUuwAAAAA:2r3dSAWHhRnE-I40G6J3FMrWxycfdGxv_034eQDlA9yI7Ab4HzG7HhlSkf8w2VgMV5yOD5LaLk_iGQ">activity-based</a>, with men <a href="https://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780195326420.001.0001/acprof-9780195326420">often bonding</a> while participating in shared social activities, whether it’s playing cards or watching sports. But as men enter the workforce, their <a href="https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=LJQEnJp0FqMC&oi=fnd&pg=PA103&dq=info:2K7888PjzW4J:scholar.google.com&ots=mqfYOJgV-B&sig=diT33mAeo4n3FFa3uQZLGsbqLvE#v=onepage&q&f=false">availability</a> for clubs, sports teams and social groups ebbs. As they find themselves increasingly focusing on their careers and families, it virtually disappears. </p>
<p>Other men <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/men-friendship-crisis_l_5dbc9aa7e4b0576b62a1e90f">have noted</a> that they’re afraid that close male friendships will be perceived as “girly.” Similarly, openly admitting that you crave close relationships might be seen as weak or needy – <a href="https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-modern-man-is-getting-stoicism-all-wrong">the opposite of the stoic male celebrated in American culture</a>.</p>
<p>Whatever the reason, men report that the number of close friends they have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1468-4446.2005.00076.x?casa_token=ee2EVTGvyPEAAAAA%3AZQ3qrdhfH-Ga_SkF-mFr3IEw8P8HDG0o5yTEmgXqv4TKGOl4B7N32G2LyOgABPC2TSPZiRhXVfpOQUqj">shrinks dramatically</a> during middle age. </p>
<p>The really bad news for men is that their friendship networks rarely strengthen after the kids are out of the house and they retire.</p>
<p>And a reversal of fortune in men’s friendships seems unlikely. In fact, men seem to be getting more <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30038995?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents">socially isolated</a> over time. Men report having fewer friends in 2004 than they did in 1985. </p>
<h2>Friendship out of the spotlight</h2>
<p>Even for men that do have a big group of male friends, there seem to be some cultural barriers that prevent the full-throated, public celebration of male affinity and companionship. </p>
<p>One is the cultural expectation that “real men” aren’t supposed to be emotional – <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/089124190018004003">something that’s hammered into boys from a young age</a>. So even when men have close male friend groups, a public celebration might be seen as sappy and antithetical to real manhood. </p>
<p>Even men who try to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X17728552">break the mold of gender stereotypes</a> or show that they are in touch with their feminine sides still feel pressured to demonstrate their manhood to others. For example, men can be supportive and caring, but still feel compelled to prove that they are the breadwinners for their families. </p>
<p>This doesn’t mean that men’s relationships are doomed to be shallow. Men often prefer actions over words to signal that they care about someone, and these performances – particularly ones involving friendship and love – <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-understated-affection-of-fathers-76850">tend to be understated</a>. Men might show friends they care by helping them move furniture, or show partners affection by running errands or doing chores around the house.</p>
<p>In other words, the ways men form and celebrate friendship don’t lend themselves well to boozy group breakfasts that can be photographed and liked on social media. </p>
<p>[ <em>Like what you’ve read? Want more?</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=likethis">Sign up for The Conversation’s daily newsletter</a>. ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/130862/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Deana Rohlinger is affiliated with the National Institute for Civil Discourse.</span></em></p>Men seem less comfortable celebrating their friendships – to their own detriment.Deana Rohlinger, Professor of Sociology, Florida State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1311912020-02-09T12:34:00Z2020-02-09T12:34:00ZLove is good for us, so why do lawmakers try to break us up?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314108/original/file-20200207-43089-apc2vt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Love makes us healthier. And yet policy-makers around the world separate children from loving parents, demonize same-sex love and promote labour migration that splits up families. Why?
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Sharon McCutcheon/Unsplash)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Research in medicine, psychology and neuroscience demonstrates the powerful effects of love on our physical and mental health.</p>
<p>Feeling loved and being able to express love for others are linked to the reduction of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16049118">chronic pain</a>, anxiety <a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/d648/56d19c4351735aa2932749d8b5bd600fa193.pdf">and depression</a>, improved functioning of <a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/d648/56d19c4351735aa2932749d8b5bd600fa193.pdf">the immune system</a>, reduced <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2044076">risk of cancer</a>, improved <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijpsycho.2006.06.002">cardiovascular health</a>, increased <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Post-AltruismHappinessHealth.pdf">life expectancy</a> and feelings of positive self-esteem, happiness and <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Enhancement-of-mood-and-self-esteem-as-a-result-of-Sprecher-Fehr/fa0123080efd6676cd95aaba11862f27a3cbe822">general well-being</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314079/original/file-20200206-43102-13d8rae.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A feeling of being loved in childhood is linked to fewer illnesses in middle age.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Zach Vessels/Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>A multi-decade <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9058175">Harvard study</a> found positive links between perceptions of being loved during childhood and reduced incidence of multiple diseases associated with middle age. Research using data from the Canadian National Population Health Survey found that perceptions of being loved had a greater positive impact on human health than the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20599310/">negative impacts of
daily smoking</a>.</p>
<h2>The negative impact of a loveless life</h2>
<p>Extensive research also highlights very serious negative effects of not being loved, particularly for children. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/worldwide-implications-of-parental-love-and-lack-of-love-on-childrensand-adults-psychological-adjustment-and-maladjustment-metaana-2471-271X-1000150.pdf">A meta-analysis</a> of 551 studies conducted over 41 years, from 1975 to 2016, on five continents involving a total of 149,440 respondents found strong causal connections between a lack of parental love and “psychological maladjustment of children and adults regardless of differences in races, ethnicities, cultures, age [and] gender.” </p>
<p>The same review concluded that “children who feel unloved are likely to develop a pattern of psychological maladjustment and personality dispositions including hostility/aggression, dependence, low self-esteem, low self-adequacy, emotional unresponsiveness, emotional instability, negative worldview, anxiety and insecurity.” </p>
<p>The power of love seems to be based on its role in reducing chronic stress by triggering <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7752821_Love_Promotes_Health">the release of biochemicals</a> that have positive effects on stress reduction, incuding endorphins, endocannabinoids, endogenous morphine, dopamine, vasopressin and oxytocin. </p>
<p>By helping to reduce chronic stress, love can also reduce <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15574496">the rate of cellular aging</a> in the human body, which reduces risk of illnesses and disease. </p>
<h2>Why don’t governments focus on love?</h2>
<p>Given all the evidence of the importance of love for our well-being, why don’t governments take love more seriously? </p>
<p>In some ways, they already do — for example, through provisions of family law that require cooling-off periods before couples can marry or divorce, or before parents can put their children up for adoption.</p>
<p>Governments probably can’t make people better lovers — and most of us probably hope they won’t even try. As former Canadian prime minister <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/omnibus-bill-theres-no-place-for-the-state-in-the-bedrooms-of-the-nation">Pierre Trudeau</a> famously commented: “There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.” </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=47%2C1344%2C5315%2C2156&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314077/original/file-20200206-43108-87yfqi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Governments can’t make us better lovers, but they can stay out of our love lives.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Everton Vila/Unsplash)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>However, governments around the world can and do pass laws and implement policies that undermine the capacity of many people to love and feel loved, with serious long-term impacts on their physical and mental health and associated costs for public health-care systems and economic productivity. </p>
<p>Pause for a moment to reflect on the stories of residential school survivors in Canada and the impact of the denial of love on their own capacity to love. As <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2015/06/canada-dark-history-abuse-residential-schools-150603063117033.html">one survivor</a> explained:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“Because of that experience, us survivors never learned how to live as a loving family because we were separate from our family.”</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=452&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=452&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=452&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=568&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=568&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314101/original/file-20200206-43089-1oqgtfx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=568&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Girls at a residential school in Fort Resolution, Northwest Territories.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Library and Archives Canada)</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Residential schools no longer operate in Canada, but the <a href="https://archive.macleans.ca/article/2018/2/1/fighting-foster-care">high rates of separation</a> of Indigenous children from their parents by child protection services across the country points to ongoing policies that undermine the ability of both children and parents to love and feel loved.</p>
<h2>Love devalued</h2>
<p>Or consider the separation of children from their parents at immigration detention centres in the southern United States, which psychologist <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/07/opinions/separating-children-from-their-families-can-destroy-them-solomon/index.html">Andrew Solomon</a> describes as a “devaluation of love.” </p>
<p>Solomon also studied the long-term negative health impacts on British children who were separated from their parents as safety precautions from bombing raids during the Second World War found widespread evidence of “permanent emotional scarring.”</p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=371&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=371&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=371&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=467&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=467&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/314100/original/file-20200206-43119-1x90roi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=467&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A migrant child looks out from a U.S. Border Patrol bus leaving the U.S. Border Patrol Central Processing Center in June 2018 in McAllen, Texas.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">AP Photo/David J. Phillip</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>More than 70 countries around the world also <a href="https://www.humandignitytrust.org/lgbt-the-law/map-of-criminalisation/">criminalize same-sex relationships</a>. Anti-LGBTQ+ laws don’t make love impossible, but they do make it harder — and much more dangerous — to express. </p>
<p>A growing number of governments around the world (including some Canadian provinces) <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1pq1k6">promote labour migration</a> as an economic development strategy that separates workers from their family and loved ones. </p>
<p>It’s still possible to blow kisses on Facetime or Skype, but anyone in a long-distance relationship knows that it doesn’t feel the same as the real thing. Medical research shows that prolonged separation from the people you love can also have serious health effects. </p>
<p>As a folk song about Mexican labour migrants made famous in the film <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO7vTfkCbqo"><em>Paris, Texas</em></a> wistfully lamented: “Now that I’m so far from you, I live without light and love; And seeing myself so lonely and sad like a leaf in the wind, I want to cry, I want to die of sorrow.”</p>
<p>Love matters. A lot. </p>
<p>This Valentine’s Day, governments around the world need to reflect on how laws and public policies may undermine people’s capacity to love and be loved — and the long-term costs of lost love for public health and human happiness.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/131191/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>John D. Cameron receives funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. </span></em></p>This Valentine’s Day, governments around the world need to reflect on how laws and public policies may undermine people’s capacity to love and be loved — and the long-term costs of lost love.John D. Cameron, Associate Professor, Department of International Development Studies, Dalhousie UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1303652020-02-04T17:12:19Z2020-02-04T17:12:19ZHandwritten valentines create a legacy of love and literacy<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/312994/original/file-20200131-41503-168on2p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C590%2C3928%2C2246&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Writing cards, notes and love letters contributes to well-being and happiness.
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Romantic love is a complex emotion thought to have ancient roots in human evolution, and <a href="https://www.wired.co.uk/article/what-is-love">associated with the need to pair-bond in stable relationships</a>. </p>
<p>Through songs, poems, diaries, journals, cards and artwork, love is celebrated for its ability to send both lover and beloved into the enthralment of passion, whether the feelings are lasting or as ephemeral <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcENbgyn_ic">as love letters on the sand</a>. </p>
<p>But the practice of <a href="https://time.com/5134173/valentine-card-heart-book/">sending keepsake love messages began around the end of the 18th century</a>. In 1913, <a href="https://www.historyextra.com/period/modern/a-brief-history-of-valentines-day-cards/">Hallmark produced the first commercial Valentine’s Day cards</a>. </p>
<p>Valentine’s Day is now entrenched as a day for sending and receiving messages of love to our partners, parents, children and close friends. Evolving research in the neurosciences and psychology underscores the value and benefit of these messages, <a href="https://time.com/5383208/thank-you-notes-gratitude/">especially if they are handwritten, for sender and receiver alike</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312985/original/file-20200131-41541-75bhr9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Calling cards passed down to the author from her family.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Hetty Roessingh)</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The sender may, however, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">under-estimate the value of these handmade messages</a>. We need to be reminded of the important role they play as Valentine’s Day approaches — not only to enhance relationships among people of all ages, but to help <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">children become empowered and inspired through language, literacy and the power of the pen</a> across time and space.</p>
<h2>Happiness for receiver and giver</h2>
<p>Importantly, the <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-athletes-way/201808/handwritten-thank-you-notes-have-surprising-consequences">happiness outcomes of expressing gratitude accrue to those who write by hand</a>. <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/191866/the-hand-by-frank-r-wilson/">Writing by hand creates neurocircuitry to the brain</a> that typing does not.</p>
<p>The hand-brain complex lays down neuro-pathways when <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/dec/16/cognitive-benefits-handwriting-decline-typing">writing messages to those we care for</a>, creating meaning and memory, and triggering the release of dopamine in the brain through the neurotransmission of the feel-good sensation of writing words of love and gratitude. </p>
<p>Writing <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/08/smarter-living/we-could-all-use-a-little-snail-mail-right-now.html">cards, notes and love letters carve these pathways more deeply</a>, over time, creating <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2014.03.156">embodied cognition</a> and contributing incrementally to a sense of well-being and happiness. </p>
<p>Psychology research time and again underscores the importance of and the <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier">connections between happiness, gratitude, an overall sense of well-being and strong relationships with others</a>. </p>
<p>Modern technology can do the handwriting for you and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhSciWzgR1I">instantly send out customized messages on your behalf</a>. Remember, however, that while the receiver might enjoy the message, you have cheated only yourself by not engaging the hand-brain complex that lies at the heart of the beneficial effects of handwriting. Emails don’t count, either.</p>
<h2>Fluency of hand</h2>
<p>What educators call fluency of hand — competency in fluent writing — is <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-cursive-handwriting-needs-to-make-a-school-comeback-121645">realized with connected script or cursive handwriting</a>. Cursive needs to be taught explicitly and directly, starting at a young age, with plenty of opportunities for mindful practice and purposeful production.</p>
<p>The brain can only juggle so many competing demands in working memory. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0162353217701201">Automatizing handwriting offloads the cognitive demands</a> of handwriting to long-term memory. In turn, this unleashes the capacity for constructing the messages we want to convey. </p>
<p>An apt analogy for the importance of developing fluency of hand can be found in any of the performing arts such as ice dancing. </p>
<p>Automaticity and fluidity of movement and technique in the perfection of execution allowed gold-medal Olympians Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir to give themselves over to the interpretation, musicality and creative storytelling that touches, connects and enraptures audiences. </p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hmjsZLyn4aI?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue 2018 gold medal Olympic performance: fluency of movement plus raw emotion.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>All are drawn into the passion, romance and raw emotion of their <a href="https://www.citynews1130.com/2018/03/04/baz-luhrmann-tessa-virtue-scott-moir-truly-romantic/">exquisite telling of Christian and Satine’s impossible love destined to end in tragedy</a> as it unfolds to a medley from Moulin Rouge. </p>
<p>Like the foundational skills of skating and dance movement, cursive hand is not an end in itself, but rather a way of giving children tools of self expression, agency, connection and identity construction. </p>
<p>Their messages of love and friendship are reflections of the particular life experiences they draw on, and the particular words they own and choose in their quest to convey something of themselves to a listening world beyond themselves. Even young kids have the power to do this. </p>
<h2>Handmade valentines</h2>
<p>Valentine’s Day can be one of many opportunities for children of all ages to become more deeply engaged — more often — in literacy through authentic everyday communication.</p>
<p>Writing cards and letters is motivating and fosters a sense of relationship, connection and well-being through literacy. </p>
<p>To prepare for Valentine’s Day, parents could take the opportunity to write letters or cards to family members or close friends. Older children can also be encouraged to take this moment to send a card to family members. Receiving mail is always a happy occasion for grandparents. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/312988/original/file-20200131-41476-vkg0nl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">For younger children, crafting Valentine’s Day cards develops an array of fine motor and literacy skills.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p>For younger children, crafting Valentine’s Day cards develops an array of fine motor manipulative and literacy skills that will stand them in good stead. Folding paper, scissor work, drawing and colouring and using glue sticks and glitters in preparation for writing a heartfelt message give little fingers a good work out. </p>
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Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/summer-play-that-enriches-kids-reading-skills-8-fine-motor-activities-for-little-fingers-118673">Summer play that enriches kids' reading skills — 8 fine motor activities for little fingers</a>
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<p>Children will also develop concept information for literacy, numeracy and mathematics: an unfolded heart illustrates the idea of symmetry and is used as a symbol for love.</p>
<h2>Legacy writing</h2>
<p>We own our words and our thoughts in a most profound sense. When committed to paper, our words and thoughts survive our existence, <a href="https://www.yadvashem.org/yv/en/exhibitions/last-letters/1944/cohn_leo.asp">leaving unique written footprints</a> of our having been here. They also survive our efforts to leave behind the best of who we are for others — and thus, they contribute to the pool of well-being for everyone including, importantly, ourselves.</p>
<p>For our loved ones including, and perhaps especially, our children, written notes and letters in legacy formats are tangible reminders of deep connection that can be <a href="https://www.verywellfamily.com/writing-letters-as-a-family-tradition-2997387">revisited anytime the soul hungers for the nourishing sustenance of a loving message</a>.</p>
<p>Stories of challenge, adventure, love, hope or faith reach across <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ931219">time, space, language and culture and can continue to shape who we are</a>. We lose something of ourselves if we forget these stories. </p>
<p>The power of the pen, the gift of language and the permanency of the written word, and the desire to commit thought to paper ensures we do not lose sight of the centrality and certainty of love in our lives and the joys of knowing what it means to love and be loved.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/130365/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Hetty Roessingh receives funding from SSHRC. </span></em></p>Handwritten letters enhance relationships among people of all ages, and help children become empowered and inspired through the power of the pen.Hetty Roessingh, Professor, Werklund School of Education, University of CalgaryLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.