tag:theconversation.com,2011:/us/topics/etiquette-29470/articles
Etiquette – The Conversation
2023-08-18T12:39:44Z
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/210671
2023-08-18T12:39:44Z
2023-08-18T12:39:44Z
Tipping etiquette and norms are in flux − here’s how you can avoid feeling flustered or ripped off
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542867/original/file-20230815-23-mw6txd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=298%2C54%2C5743%2C3841&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Digital payment methods may automatically prompt you to leave a gratuity.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/TippingFatigue/11bc6c8b9388484fa0dbf543db35dc47/photo?Query=tip%20fatigue&mediaType=photo,video,graphic,audio&sortBy=arrivaldatetime:desc&dateRange=Anytime&totalCount=5&currentItemNo=0">AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Tipping has gotten more complicated – and awkward – in North America.</p>
<p>The ever-growing list of situations in which you might be invited to tip includes <a href="https://haveyourselfatime.com/smoothie-king-tipping-etiquette/">buying a smoothie</a>, <a href="https://bestlifeonline.com/places-you-should-never-tip/">paying an electrician</a>, <a href="https://www.marketwatch.com/story/should-you-tip-your-flight-attendant-it-all-depends-on-the-airline-2019-01-08">getting a beer from a flight attendant</a> and <a href="https://support.actblue.com/donors/about-actblue/what-are-actblue-tips-for/">making a political donation</a>. </p>
<p>Should you always tip when someone suggests it? If yes, how do you calculate the right amount? And if you don’t, are you being stingy?</p>
<p>As <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=iU_D4EwAAAAJ&hl=en">marketing professors</a> who <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=s5S9eAoAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&sortby=pubdate">specialize in customer interactions</a>, we’re researching how <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/10946705231166742">digital payment technologies have changed how and when customers tip</a>. Our research suggests that asking for <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1094670519900553">tips before service</a> and <a href="https://www.msi.org/working-papers/whos-in-control-how-default-tip-levels-influence-customer-response/">suggesting tip amounts that are too high</a> can frustrate customers and be bad for business.</p>
<h2>What’s new</h2>
<p>U.S. customers historically tipped people they assumed were earning most of their <a href="https://ssrn.com/abstract=465942">income via tips</a>, such as restaurant servers earning less than the minimum wage. In the early 2010s, a wide range of businesses started processing purchases with iPads and other digital payment systems. These systems often prompted customers to tip for <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/3022182/how-square-registers-ui-guilts-you-into-leaving-tips">services that were not previously tipped</a>.</p>
<p>Today’s tip requests are often not connected to the salary and service norms that used to determine <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2023/01/technology-pandemic-economy-gratuity-tipping-etiquette-square/672658/">when and how people tip</a>.</p>
<p>Customers in the past nearly always paid tips after receiving a service, such as at the conclusion of a restaurant meal, after getting a haircut or once a pizza was delivered. That timing could reward high-quality service and give workers an incentive to provide it. </p>
<p>It’s <a href="https://theconversation.com/customers-hate-tipping-before-theyre-served-and-asking-makes-them-less-likely-to-return-132078">becoming more common</a> for tips to be <a href="https://theconversation.com/payment-apps-asking-for-specific-tips-before-service-annoy-the-heck-out-of-users-but-still-generate-bigger-gratuities-180083">requested beforehand</a>. And new tipping technology may even <a href="https://abc7news.com/amazon-fresh-tipping-tip-delivery-driver-automatic/13325771/">automatically add tips</a>.</p>
<h2>Tip creep and tipflation</h2>
<p>The prevalence of digital payment devices has made it easier to ask customers for a tip. That helps explain why <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/business/dollar3-tip-on-a-dollar4-cup-of-coffee-gratuities-grow-automatically.html">tip requests are creeping</a> into new kinds of services.</p>
<p>Customers now routinely see menus of suggested default options – often well above 20% of what they owe. The amounts have risen from <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/03/29/1089587173/the-land-of-the-fee-2021">10% or less in the 1950s</a> to 15% around the year 2000 to <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/01/14/is-25percent-the-new-20percent-how-much-to-tip-in-a-post-pandemic-world.html">20% or higher today</a>. This increase is sometimes called <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/tipping-backlash-inflation-who-should-get-tipped/">tipflation</a> – the expectation of ever-higher tip amounts. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-goods/22446361/pandemic-gratuity-covid-service-work">COVID-19 pandemic</a>, which hastened the adoption of digital payments and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0886368721999135">increased sympathy for service workers</a>, amplified both tip creep and tipflation.</p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Soda fountain attendant serving young woman in a black and white photo taken in the 1950s" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=747&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=747&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=747&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=939&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=939&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542872/original/file-20230815-17-m69ndx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=939&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Tips used to be smaller.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/soda-fountain-attendant-serving-young-woman-royalty-free-image/53271877?phrase=tip+restaurant+service+black+and+white&adppopup=true">George Marks/Retrofile RF via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Tipping has always been a <a href="https://www.npr.org/2023/07/17/1187275511/tipping-minimum-wage-tips-tip-screen">vital source of income</a> for workers in historically tipped services, like restaurants, where the tipped minimum wage can be as low as <a href="https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/state/minimum-wage/tipped">US$2.13 an hour</a>. Tip creep and tipflation are now further supplementing the income of <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/13/business/economy/tipped-wage-subminimum.html">many low-wage service workers</a>.</p>
<p>Notably, tipping primarily benefits some of these workers, such as waiters, but not others, such as cooks and dishwashers. To ensure that all employees were paid fair wages, some restaurants banned tipping and increased prices, but this movement toward no-tipping services has <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-gastronomy/the-limitations-of-american-restaurants-no-tipping-experiment">largely fizzled out</a>.</p>
<p>So, to increase employee wages without raising prices, more employers are succumbing to the temptations of tip creep and tipflation. However, <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/10/american-tipping-system-makes-no-sense/600865/">many customers are frustrated</a> because they feel they are being asked for too high of a tip, too often. And, as our research emphasizes, tipping now seems to be more coercive, less generous and often completely dissociated from service quality. </p>
<p>While digital tipping can be an easy way for customers to <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/19/dining/tipping-gratuity-restaurants.html">help workers or express their gratitude</a> for good service, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/09/briefing/tipping-confusion-food-delivery-apps.html?searchResultPosition=2">many Americans feel uncertain</a> about what to do when asked for a tip.</p>
<h2>3 questions to always ask</h2>
<p>Here are some questions you can ask yourself when faced with almost any tipping decision. </p>
<p><strong>1. Should I tip?</strong></p>
<p>It’s generally up to you to decide whether you will tip and how much.</p>
<p>To avoid being <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1094670519900553">pressured into tipping when you don’t want to</a>, establish your own norms for different services. That will make you less likely to be surprised by an unexpected or high-pressure tip request. Many customers do pay tips in those situations but get upset.</p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="Tip jar full of dollar bills with a 'thank you' written on a strip of tape adhered to it" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542871/original/file-20230815-26-1zfy69.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Sometimes it’s best to chip in with a little cash.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/glass-tip-jar-at-checkout-counter-royalty-free-image/1324730309?adppopup=true">Catherine McQueen/Moment via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>We advise you to always tip when there’s a clear tradition of doing so: dining at full-service restaurants or ordering a drink at a bar, traveling by taxi, having meals delivered to your door and getting a haircut.</p>
<p>We also recommend tipping employees you believe are being paid less than a fair wage. Though it can be difficult to determine whether employees are underpaid, learning whether your state or city <a href="https://www.epi.org/minimum-wage-tracker/?gclid=CjwKCAjw5_GmBhBIEiwA5QSMxAJ3gRSsi_Jz-Ny8ZacR8aM7pW0FmaCazBhvhq0vzZtzSpDM63s-wBoCOX4QAvD_BwE#/min_wage/New%20Jersey">guarantees a minimum wage</a> that’s well above the federal requirement can help.</p>
<p>For many tipped services, quality varies widely. In these situations, you can use tips to reward better service, if you pay after receiving it; or you can give workers a tip beforehand as an incentive to treat you well.</p>
<p>Likewise, pay a tip if you’re likely to use the service again. You will earn a reputation as a good or bad tipper, and employees will treat you accordingly.</p>
<p>There’s a wide range of services that may or may not require a tip. These include quick-service cafes and takeout, where customers order at a counter rather than being waited on at a table. You will need to decide what to do in those situations on a case-by-case basis. <a href="https://www.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/news/2014/05/should-you-tip-your-barista">Tipping a barista</a> who has skillfully prepared your fancy latte makes more sense to us than tipping a worker who rings up a can of soda.</p>
<p>In many instances, paying and tipping in cash makes the most sense because you can avoid coercive technology and ensure that the employee who helped you directly receives the tip. That way, the employee will know you appreciate their service, and you can be fairly certain that their employer is not somehow <a href="https://www.epi.org/publication/employers-would-pocket-workers-tips-under-trump-administrations-proposed-tip-stealing-rule/">swiping their tip money</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A card reader tablet with tip options that are for $1, $2 and $3, custom or no tip" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/542868/original/file-20230815-25-uwuvhj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">When is it OK to just say no?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/TippingFatigue/e26fc772b27c4a76a60d20c4f041c58d/photo?Query=tip%20fatigue&mediaType=photo,video,graphic,audio&sortBy=arrivaldatetime:desc&dateRange=Anytime&totalCount=5&currentItemNo=3">AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><strong>2. How much?</strong></p>
<p>This question is especially important when preservice tips are requested. If service quality may vary based on your response, for example with food delivery, food trucks, bars and restaurants, we suggest tipping the middle or high default tip amount, which will often be around 20%, or a flat dollar amount that is the rough equivalent. That approach will avoid the possibility of getting poor service. Of course, this can result in frustration if service doesn’t meet your expectations.</p>
<p>An alternative strategy is to tip the lowest recommended option, which is often close to 10%, then add an additional cash tip if the service is good. While using this strategy risks bad service, it’s a wise way to go if you plan to be a repeat customer.</p>
<p><strong>3. Can I skip it this time?</strong></p>
<p>If a tip request comes as a surprise, that usually means there is no norm you’re familiar with for that service. We recommend that you don’t tip in that situation, despite the social pressure. If you wind up tipping anyway, we recommend either not returning to the business or writing a polite but critical review online describing your uncomfortable experience.</p>
<p>We don’t believe there’s a reason to feel guilty leaving no tip or a low tip when you are using a service that is not traditionally tipped or where service quality is not affected by the tip amount, such as when making a donation or <a href="https://nypost.com/2022/09/27/woman-asked-to-tip-while-online-shopping/">ordering an office chair from an internet retailer</a>. </p>
<p>Ultimately, tipping is voluntary, which makes it a personal choice.</p>
<p>But whether you tip or not, you should always treat service workers well, especially tipped service workers. They are often exposed to the worst customer behaviors, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/03/11/business/tipping-sexual-harassment.html">including harassment</a>, which is never appropriate – no matter how much a customer tips.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210671/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Tipping seems to be more coercive and less tied to service quality these days.
Nathan B. Warren, Assistant Professor of Marketing, BI Norwegian Business School
Sara Hanson, Associate Professor of Marketing, University of Richmond
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/149671
2020-11-22T14:16:14Z
2020-11-22T14:16:14Z
How to get someone’s name right if it’s unfamiliar to you
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/370219/original/file-20201119-17-1yqr83n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C7951%2C5304&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">People's names are an integral part of their identity, so it's important to ensure that they are handled correctly.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Imagine you have to say an unfamiliar name and are afraid to say it wrong. What do you do?</p>
<p>Do you try to pronounce it even at <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRpsRKuyi3Y">the risk of getting it wrong</a> or do you avoid the name (and perhaps the person) altogether? Do you maybe attempt to <a href="https://youtu.be/wIZtiAtlkZk">shorten the name or invent a nickname</a> for your acquaintance? Do you ask them <a href="https://medium.com/@mastqalander/stop-asking-people-with-unique-names-if-they-have-a-nickname-62e8da2445b7">if they have an easier name</a>?</p>
<p>We have all been faced with this dilemma at one point or another — no one knows how to pronounce every single name in the world. If they think they do, they are probably what education consultant Jennifer Gonzalez calls an “<a href="https://www.cultofpedagogy.com/gift-of-pronunciation/">arrogant mangler</a>,” who doesn’t bother to make an effort.</p>
<p>Or maybe you have been on the other side of the scenario where <a href="https://youtu.be/pc6CJ_kUNYc">your name is under scrutiny</a>, prompting <a href="https://youtu.be/uYn6DxK3K2M">unwanted questions</a> or extra attention from suspicious airport security officers.</p>
<p>Have you tried to set up an online profile only to be told that <a href="https://blog.jgc.org/2010/06/your-last-name-contains-invalid.html">your name is invalid or not allowed</a> the way you write it? Have you been <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/10/online-authenticity-and-how-facebooks-real-name-policy-hurts-native-americans/">accused of not using your real name</a> because it is unusual or it appears differently on your issued identification cards? Do people mix up your first and last names so they are unable to find your name on a list? </p>
<p>Having a common name can be difficult too. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y8b87OaQwQ">People might confuse you with someone else or assign you a nickname</a> to distinguish you from others.</p>
<h2>Name diversity</h2>
<p>In multilingual and multicultural countries like Canada, <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/2017/every-name-is-a-canadian-name-1.4013531">people frequently encounter names from diverse languages and cultures</a>. Everyone has stories either about their own name troubles or about difficulties with other people’s names.</p>
<p><div data-react-class="Tweet" data-react-props="{"tweetId":"1270865779030929412"}"></div></p>
<p>But these are not just anecdotes <a href="https://twitter.com/Luiseach/status/1108439217963712512">on social media</a>. Name-related difficulties can have serious implications for people’s senses of identity and <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/kamala-harris-name-mispronunciation">belonging (or exclusion)</a>. Mistreating someone’s name includes writing or saying their name differently from what they assert is correct, as well as using the name as a motive for ridiculing or discriminating against the person. Mistreating names can affect opportunities in <a href="https://www.sjsu.edu/people/marcos.pizarro/courses/185/s1/Names">education</a>, on the <a href="https://www.nber.org/papers/w9873">job market</a> and in securing <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.514.60&rep=rep1&type=pdf">housing</a>.</p>
<p>The way we address each other matters because <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511499630">our names are legally, emotionally and socially connected to how we are able to move through and act in the world</a>. Addressing and referring to people by their correct name is a sign of recognition and respect of their personhood. Ignoring naming preferences can be perceived as an insult or an attack. For example, “<a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/transgender/deadnaming">deadnaming</a>,” or referring to a person who is transgender by the name they used before they transitioned, can make them feel disrespected and potentially expose them to harassment.</p>
<h2>How to be more inclusive</h2>
<p>As <a href="https://namesandidentity.wixsite.com/canada">linguistic anthropologists researching names</a>, we offer <a href="http://bild-lida.ca/journal/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/JBILD-1-1_Pennesi.pdf">these recommendations</a> for how to be inclusive of all names and more assertive about your own.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>When you are unsure how to pronounce a name, your best option is to ask and try, but <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLhFaayJnyQ">avoid turning the name or your discomfort into a spectacle</a>.</p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/02/26/jimmy-kimmel-mahershala-ali-name-oscars_n_15034386.html">Refrain from commenting on people’s names</a> or making a show out of your attempts to pronounce, spell or remember the name. Don’t ignore someone because you dread pronouncing their name. Instead, verify your pronunciation (in person or by using <a href="https://www.pronouncenames.com/">online resources</a>) and practice saying their name by yourself. Make it your responsibility to get it right and include them in the group.</p></li>
<li><p>Avoid <a href="https://medicalxpress.com/news/2015-10-racial-bias.html">making assumptions about people based on their name</a>, such as their language abilities, their <a href="https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/assuming-gender/">gender identity</a> or their racial, national, cultural or religious backgrounds. They are not a cultural ambassador or expert on the language you think their name represents, <a href="https://supchina.com/2019/03/12/chinese-people-dont-need-to-be-saved-from-their-english-names/">nor do they need saving from a name you deem culturally unfit</a>.</p></li>
<li><p>You should also <a href="https://escholarship.org/uc/item/76c724ng">not actively erase aspects of someone’s identity and background</a> by giving them unsolicited nicknames that you find ‘easier’ to pronounce or remember. <a href="https://www.parents.com/baby-names/ideas/origin/honoring-ethnic-names-is-an-important-way-to-celebrate-diversity-of-families-in-america/">Careful thought goes into selecting names</a> and the name a person goes by is their choice.</p></li>
<li><p>People may have multiple names for different situations and at different times in their life. Accept the name someone tells you and don’t try to be the judge of <a href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-you-should-never-ask-trans-person-what-their-real-name-is">what you think someone’s name should be</a>. Allow for <a href="https://reporter.mcgill.ca/the-right-to-be-yourself/">preferred names on official forms</a> and let people use those names in <a href="https://www.techjunkie.com/zoom-change-name/">virtual</a> and in-person face-to-face interactions.</p></li>
</ol>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A woman standing in front of a whiteboard shows how to pronounce different sounds" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/370133/original/file-20201118-21-qklv3b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">It’s important to put in the work to learn how to appropriately treat people’s names.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>If you are responsible for <a href="https://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/">setting up web identity forms or managing a database of names</a>, remember that <a href="https://www.w3.org/International/questions/qa-personal-names">personal names do not follow universal standards</a>.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If possible, use a single name field with <a href="https://www.w3.org/International/questions/qa-personal-names#encoding">enough characters and page space to accommodate long names</a>, instead of forcing them into “first,” “middle” and “last” fields that may not fit the full name.</p></li>
<li><p>If you do need to use separate name fields, allow for multiple components in the “first” and “last” fields.</p></li>
<li><p>Alphabetize by first name so that the number of name components is irrelevant.</p></li>
<li><p>Allow for <a href="https://canadianart.ca/features/canada-150-font/">accents, special characters and non-Latin script</a>.</p></li>
<li><p>Allow people to fill in their <a href="https://uxdesign.cc/designing-forms-for-gender-diversity-and-inclusion-d8194cf1f51">pronouns and/or titles</a> that can stand in for names when the person is referred to in the third person.</p></li>
</ol>
<h2>Responding to mistreatment of names</h2>
<p>If people mistreat your name, you can <a href="https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/how-to-correct-someone-who-mispronounces-your-name-without-being-a-dick">correct others without feeling guilty</a> about it. It is your name and it matters. To reduce errors, you could add an audio “<a href="https://name-coach.com/namebadge">name badge</a>” to your web identity so that others can hear the correct pronunciation.</p>
<p>Your name does not have to be permanent. If name-related problems make life too difficult, you might consider <a href="https://canadianimmigrant.ca/living/community/anglicize-your-name-as-a-newcomer-yes-or-no">(partially) changing your name</a> or adding another name for specific purposes. Or if that approach does not feel right to you, you can <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTPC73SdRkA">reclaim your original name and use it with confidence</a>.</p>
<p>While we offer these recommendations for respectfully navigating name diversity in workplaces, education, social situations and online environments, they are not a guarantee for smooth sailing. You will not always get it right, and that is normal. The best way to bounce back is to <a href="https://hbr.org/2020/01/if-you-dont-know-how-to-say-someones-name-just-ask">acknowledge the mistake</a>, move forward and do better next time.</p>
<p>The important thing to remember is that names matter, and the way we treat them has an impact.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/149671/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Karen Pennesi occasionally consults to NameCoach.com. Her research has been funded by the University of Western Ontario and the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Federica Guccini does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Mishandling someone’s name can lead to social exclusion and unbalanced power dynamics. Putting in the work to get names right reflects a dedication to inclusivity and respect for other cultures.
Karen Pennesi, Associate Professor of Anthropology, Western University
Federica Guccini, PhD Candidate in Sociocultural and Linguistic Anthropology, Western University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/149878
2020-11-17T20:11:23Z
2020-11-17T20:11:23Z
A brief history of presidents snubbing their successors – and why the founders favored civility instead
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369678/original/file-20201116-21-1y1ixzu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C21%2C4713%2C3083&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Republican nominee Gov. Mike Pence and Democratic nominee Sen. Tim Kaine stand after the vice-presidential debate in Farmville, Va., Oct. 4, 2016.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://newsroom.ap.org/detail/Campaign2016VPDebate/a421c130ee024dd9b81c0bdbf007895b/photo?Query=Sen.%20Tim%20Kaine%20and%20Gov.%20Mike%20Pence%20after%20the%20vice-presidential%20debate%20in%20Farmville&mediaType=photo&sortBy=arrivaldatetime:asc&dateRange=Anytime&totalCount=12&currentItemNo=6">Joe Raedle/Pool via AP</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>It’s beyond dispute: Donald Trump won’t go down in history as a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/oct/31/trump-abandoned-civility-republican-party">model of civility</a>. Examples of his bad manners abound. When he gave his first <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRBsJNdK1t0">inaugural speech</a>, the president craftily avoided any nod to his defeated opponent, Hillary Clinton, or to the other half of the electorate. </p>
<p>Then he started embarrassing foreign leaders <a href="https://apnews.com/article/768b59297e8d4a55998839411490562f">during official trips</a>. “Time after time, diplomatic niceties fell by the wayside as the president contradicted and undermined his hosts,” the Associated Press reported in mid-2019.</p>
<p>Most likely, <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/11/15/i-concede-nothing-trump-says-shortly-after-appearing-acknowledge-biden-won-election/">he will not congratulate President-elect Joe Biden</a> – or he will do it, eventually, but begrudgingly. It’s also <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/525883-mcenany-dodges-on-trump-attending-biden-inauguration-hell-attend-his">possible that he will not attend</a> the inaugural ceremony in January. </p>
<p>Trump is not alone in his transgressions of civility. In reality, the shredding of etiquette by politicians and public officials, including presidents, has long been a feature of American politics. Ungraciousness is bipartisan: The public has not forgotten House Speaker Nancy Pelosi <a href="https://theconversation.com/civility-in-politics-is-harder-than-you-think-130522">literally shredding</a>, in full public view, the text of President Trump’s State of the Union speech.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tears up what appeared to be a copy of President Donald Trump's State of the Union speech." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369677/original/file-20201116-17-b16qes.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tears up what appeared to be a copy of President Donald Trump’s State of the Union speech on Feb. 4, 2020.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/feb-4-2020-house-speaker-nancy-pelosi-tears-up-what-news-photo/1199118661?adppopup=true">Xinhua/Liu Jie via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Ripping off the toupee</h2>
<p>American politicians have long treated one another with disrespect. Trump shunning the president-elect may seem extreme today, but in 1801, at the presidential inauguration ceremony of Thomas Jefferson, <a href="https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/inaugural/exhibition.html#jefferson">the outgoing president, John Adams, was nowhere to be seen</a> – he was not even invited. For his part, Adams had appointed to high office several anti-Jeffersonian men. And he had done that <a href="https://www.historyhit.com/the-friendship-and-rivalry-of-thomas-jefferson-and-john-adams/">just before leaving office</a>.</p>
<p>Jefferson, in turn, <a href="http://www.mountvernon.org/library/digitalhistory/digital-encyclopedia/article/thomas-jefferson/#:%7E:text=Jefferson%20even%20refused%20to%20attend,existed%20between%20the%20two%20men.">did not attend the funeral of George Washington</a> on Dec. 18, 1799, and in 1829 John Quincy Adams – another one-term-only president, like his father – <a href="https://www.whitehousehistory.org/not-a-ragged-mob-the-inauguration-of-1829">stayed clear of Andrew Jackson’s inauguration</a>.</p>
<p>In the years before the Civil War, breaches in etiquette <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/07/opinion/sunday/violence-politics-congress.html">took a dramatic turn</a>. On May 22, 1856, <a href="https://theconversation.com/think-the-us-is-more-polarized-than-ever-you-dont-know-history-131600">U.S. Rep. Preston Brooks of South Carolina, a Democrat, beat Republican Sen. Charles Sumner</a> with a walking cane. The scene took place on the floor of the U.S. Senate. Brooks was “outraged” by an anti-slavery speech Sumner had given a few days earlier. He stopped short of killing his enemy only because the cane unexpectedly broke.</p>
<p>The floor of the U.S. House of Representatives held ominous scenes as well. On Feb. 6, 1858, at nearly 2 a.m., as members were discussing the admission of the Kansas Territory into the Union, South Carolina Democrat Laurence Keitt and Pennsylvania Republican Galusha Grow exchanged volleys of insults, arguing over whether Kansas would be a free or a slave state.</p>
<p>They switched to blows. More than 30 representatives jumped into the fight, <a href="https://history.house.gov/Historical-Highlights/1851-1900/The-most-infamous-floor-brawl-in-the-history-of-the-U-S--House-of-Representatives/">leading to a brawl</a>. The situation defused after Wisconsin Republicans John Potter and Cadwallader Washburn ripped the toupee from the head of William Barksdale, a Democrat from Mississippi.</p>
<h2>Founders knew incivility’s risk</h2>
<p>No matter the occasional jeers and laughs; when political leaders treat each other with disrespect, the nation suffers. </p>
<p>Civility is neither frivolous nor a matter of private behavior only. As economist Friedrich Hayek said, civility is a “<a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/law-legislation-and-liberty-volume-2-the-mirage-of-social-justice/oclc/811505153">method of collaboration</a> which requires agreement only on means and not on ends.” The lack of civility, obviously, decreases the chances of finding solutions to urgent common problems.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PX9reO3QnUA?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<figcaption><span class="caption">At a rally in 2015, then-candidate Donald Trump mocked a reporter with a disability.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The founders, perhaps better than any other generation, were acutely aware of the political risk of incivility. Washington, Adams, Jefferson and the others <a href="https://21stcenturycicero.wordpress.com/tyrrany/the-founding-fathers-the-classics/">knew history by heart</a>. They looked back at the tyrants and all the reckless commanders of the past, like Attila or Caligula. They knew that brash leaders such as these could, in the words of Thomas Jefferson, burst asunder “<a href="https://rotunda.upress.virginia.edu/founders/default.xqy?keys=FOEA-print-04-01-02-3893">all the ligaments of duty & affection</a>.”</p>
<p>And they looked forward, with anxiety, to the moment when a new barbarism would come back in full swing. Ominous signs were already looming. <a href="https://blogs.loc.gov/law/2015/04/frontier-racing-and-injured-pride-the-duel-between-andrew-jackson-and-charles-dickinson/">On May 30, 1806, Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson</a>, an attorney who had accused him, of all things, of cheating on a horse race bet. This event did not put a stop to Jackson’s career. He was a brawler and a committed duelist. He snapped easily and showed no respect for his opponents. But “Old Hickory,” as he was known, kept gaining national notoriety. </p>
<p>President Jackson is <a href="https://www.politifact.com/article/2017/may/02/whats-up-with-donald-trump-andrew-jackson/">Trump’s favorite leader</a> – although the two have <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/15/us/politics/donald-trump-andrew-jackson.html">very little in common</a>. Just like Trump, however, Jackson represents a straightforward, low-brow style of unapologetic and ungraceful leadership. Jackson bore exactly those personal attributes which left the founders aghast: “<a href="https://www.jfklibrary.org/archives/other-resources/john-f-kennedy-speeches/wheeling-wv-19591010">His passions are terrible</a>,” Thomas Jefferson said about Jackson in a 1824 interview.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A portrait of Andrew Jackson, the seventh U.S. president. Thomas Jefferson said 'His passions are terrible.'" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=755&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=755&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=755&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=949&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=949&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/369679/original/file-20201116-17-1c7p8cj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=949&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Andrew Jackson, the seventh U.S. president. Thomas Jefferson said, ‘His passions are terrible.’</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.loc.gov/resource/cph.3c17120/">Engraving by J.B. Longacre/Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The founders were passing through the short-lived age of <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/22033/the-refinement-of-america-by-richard-l-bushman/">refinement, politeness and civilization</a>. From the 1750s to the early 1800s, American leaders set for themselves an ambitious goal. They wanted to trigger an anthropological revolution and promote a new type of individual – polite, civilized, kind and collaborative.</p>
<p>[<em>Deep knowledge, daily.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/the-daily-3?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=deepknowledge">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter</a>.]</p>
<p>A modern nation, for them, relied on politicians who talked a certain way (with a lower voice), dressed a certain way (with less aristocratic pomp) and were able to <a href="https://www.upress.virginia.edu/title/5039">forestall any boorish posturing</a>.</p>
<p>In this respect, history has proven the founders’ expectations misplaced. These men, slave owners though they were, valued civility as at once liberating for the subject, and as an effective strategy of survival for the community at large. But “<a href="https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/99-01-02-11404">the free cultivation of Letters</a>,” as George Washington hoped, “the unbounded extension of Commerce, the progressive refinement of Manners, the growing liberality of sentiment,” did not come about.</p>
<p>Joe Biden, once president, will not reverse the course of history. He cannot restore an age of refinement and politeness. He is not the vaccine. But in the eyes of many, he can be at least an <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/09/opinion/joe-biden-humility.html">antidote</a> against Trump’s lack of grace.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/149878/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Maurizio Valsania does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
‘Mind your manners’ isn’t just something your mother told you. Manners – and civility – are an essential component of how things get done in government, and the Founding Fathers knew it.
Maurizio Valsania, Professor of American History, Università di Torino
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/134250
2020-03-23T06:49:34Z
2020-03-23T06:49:34Z
Nice to meet you, now back off! How to socially distance without seeming rude
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322232/original/file-20200323-22610-1xdrmmm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C24%2C5444%2C3518&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption"></span> </figcaption></figure><p>Depending on your culture, you are probably used to greeting someone with a handshake, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13">hug</a> or <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/96504348/hongi-our-national-greeting">nose bump</a>. Well, not any more.</p>
<p>As introverts everywhere silently (of course) celebrate the need for social distance, the rest of us are struggling to navigate how to project our feelings <a href="https://66.media.tumblr.com/4987e6f7b0e2348cffe89c4ad9fbfbb4/tumblr_n3y8cjHu5q1sial0xo1_500.gif">without touch</a>. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/social-distancing-can-make-you-lonely-heres-how-to-stay-connected-when-youre-in-lockdown-133693">Social distancing can make you lonely. Here's how to stay connected when you're in lockdown</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>How much we touch someone when we greet them <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00987051">varies by culture, personality and gender, as well as relationship</a>. Besides being an important <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?id=a4qRw8Wp1pEC&lpg=PA1&ots=qqcOkuZbhJ&dq=cultural%20significance%20of%20touch%20when%20greeting&lr&pg=PA2#v=onepage&q=cultural%20significance%20of%20touch%20when%20greeting&f=false">greeting ritual</a>, appropriate touch can also serve to strengthen <a href="https://www.pnas.org/content/112/45/13811.short">emotional bonds</a> and help to establish the relationship status of two people, whether family, friends, business colleagues, or strangers. </p>
<h2>Hands off</h2>
<p>Important as handshakes are, the need for personal safety trumps everything. You absolutely don’t have to shake someone’s hand just because they offer it.</p>
<p>How should we deal with any awkwardness that arises? The <a href="https://qz.com/work/1815292/coronavirus-drove-emily-post-to-change-handshake-policy/">best advice</a> is to talk about it, but not at length. It doesn’t require an apology or a long explanation.</p>
<p>When <a href="https://qz.com/work/1813557/an-etiquette-expert-on-how-to-decline-a-handshake/">refusing a handshake</a>, do so simply and without fuss, and mention the coronavirus at the first opportunity. Say something simple and concise, such as: “Due to the virus I am not shaking hands at the moment.” </p>
<p>Or, to make it totally clear that it’s nothing personal, you could try saying: “I am not shaking anyone’s hand.” </p>
<p>The tone in which you say these things is crucial. It should be light and maybe even playful. You could further put the other person at ease by saying something friendly like: “It’s lovely to see you again.”</p>
<p>Whatever you do, do it with a smile. The gesture on your face is more important than the ones with your hands. If you’re feeling awkward, make a conscious effort to remember to smile, especially if you are a bloke – one study found that men <a href="http://homepages.gac.edu/%7Ejwotton2/PSY225/meta.pdf">tend to smile less often than women</a>.</p>
<p>With handshakes and even elbow-bumps now off the table, you could try non-contact options such as a thumbs-up, a “namaste”-style prayer gesture, or even an ironic <a href="https://images.app.goo.gl/gL44fxHLEzYwZKp66">jazz hands</a> if you think you can pull it off.</p>
<p><img width="100%" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Covid-19-Handshake-Alternatives-v3.gif"></p>
<h2>Heading off a hug</h2>
<p>While it’s vital to prioritise your own health and safety, a guiding principle of etiquette is to put the other person at ease by showing you value their feelings and comfort over your own. Make it less about the “I” and more about the “you”. </p>
<p>For example, you can head off a potential hug by getting on the front foot, saying “I’m so glad to see you, I’m sorry we can’t hug” rather than waiting for it to happen and then diving out of the way. Being proactive shows you value the other person’s feelings and have considered them in advance. </p>
<p>Another way to do it is to emphasise this is part of a collective effort to tackle the virus. Make it clear you’re avoiding physical contact for the other person’s safety, as well as your own. This might be a particularly useful strategy with older relatives. </p>
<h2>Manners maketh meetings</h2>
<p>Although there are no hugs or handshakes online, the same basic etiquette principles apply here too. If working from home, you can show others you value their feelings by logging in on time to meetings, muting yourself until ready to speak, and making sure any distractions are minimised (not always easy with kids or pets around).</p>
<p>Support the person chairing the meeting, and be just as willing to engage as you would be if you were in the same room. If you think about a situation in advance and believe that action will make others more comfortable, even if your effort fails, you will be perceived as polite.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/working-at-home-to-avoid-coronavirus-this-tech-lets-you-almost-replicate-the-office-133350">Working at home to avoid coronavirus? This tech lets you (almost) replicate the office</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>As we strive to get used to the strange new feeling of social distancing, remember manners and respect are what make society work. This used to mean shaking hands, but now it means demonstrating our concern for each other’s health by <em>not</em> shaking hands. </p>
<p>Etiquette is a cornerstone of social interaction, and what we learn from it is this: it is not the distance that matters. Showing each other we care is what brings us closer together.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/134250/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nathalie Collins is a certified Emily Post Business Etiquette Trainer.</span></em></p>
Don’t want to shake hands, but don’t want to cause offence? Just smile, have a short sentence ready in advance, and make sure the other person knows you care about their feelings.
Nathalie Collins, Academic Director (National Programs), Edith Cowan University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/132351
2020-02-26T02:24:23Z
2020-02-26T02:24:23Z
Young women won’t be told how to behave, but is #girlboss just deportment by another name?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317028/original/file-20200225-24672-1mndmdr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=43%2C14%2C4804%2C3164&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Priscilla du Preez/Unsplash</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>In today’s terms, June Dally-Watkins was Australia’s OG (<a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=OG">original gangster</a>) <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/about">#girlboss</a>. </p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/every-woman-has-a-right-to-be-beautiful-dally-watkins-dead-at-92-20200223-p543hn.html">illegitimate child</a> of a single mother, Dally-Watkins came from humble rural beginnings and found fame as a young model in 1950s Sydney. She turned this fame into a fortune, using her profile to start a chain of finishing and deportment schools for young women and, later, young men.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.jdwbrisbane.com/">Dally-Watkins’ schools</a>, which still operate today, taught catwalk strutting, posing for photographs, and make-up application. She taught models how to win beauty pageants and taught men how to court like gentlemen. And she made a lot of money doing it.</p>
<p>Dally-Watkins <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/feb/23/june-dally-watkins-australias-queen-of-deportment-and-etiquette-dies-at-92">died</a> earlier this week, and is being remembered as a strict yet charming teacher and a very successful businesswoman. The legacy of Dally-Watkins and what she symbolises as a successful <em>and</em> feminine woman presents an opportunity to think through some of the ways our culture both applauds and maligns women’s success.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=1%2C0%2C1196%2C1670&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=838&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=838&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=838&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1053&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1053&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317025/original/file-20200225-24690-cx4dq2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1053&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">June Dally-Watkins was a model before she was an entrepreneur, photographed here in 1949 by Max Dupain.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">AAP Image/Supplied by The National Portrait Gallery</span></span>
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</figure>
<h2>Is self-branding the new deportment?</h2>
<p>Although today’s young women might be less interested in learning manners and etiquette, many continue to seek advice on presenting a polished, appealing image of themselves. </p>
<p>The YouTube beauty tutorial is one of the largest genres on the platform, and there are influencers who base their self-brand on advising viewers how to appear feminine and classy. 25-year-old YouTuber <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzEolHECo7JmmkWMGDYaSOA">Alexandra Beth</a> offers advice to her 3.44 million subscribers on subjects from “how to dress better” to “dating mistakes every girl makes”. </p>
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<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ljf4l6Nuh8Q?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
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<p>Lifestyle and personal development workshops can be found everywhere, from the practical, to the vague “<a href="https://designyourlifeseminars.com.au/release-your-limitations/">Release Your Limitations</a>”, to the terrifyingly titled “<a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/burn-your-fear-intensive-tickets-94109801951?aff=ebdssbdestsearch">Burn Your Fear Intensive</a>”.</p>
<p>The mission behind Dally-Watkins’ schools is as relevant as ever: if you invest in yourself (by paying someone for advice) you can be a happier, more successful person.</p>
<p>Dally-Watkins recognised people overwhelmingly want to believe self-improvement is a means to improving their circumstances, and her schools sold this promise of social mobility.</p>
<h2>Girlbosses</h2>
<p>Girlbossing has been coined to describe a way of presenting a professionally successful persona that highlights femininity. </p>
<p>June Dally-Watkins was undoubtedly a girlboss before girlbossing became a term. Self-made, ambitious, and feminine, she enforced rigorous grooming practices, using her own polished, perfect self as marketing for her schools. </p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=908&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=908&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=908&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1141&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1141&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317022/original/file-20200225-24676-1mth2fk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1141&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<p>The term girlboss was popularised by entrepreneur Sophia Amoruso, whose 2014 book <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18667945-girlboss">#Girlboss</a> was adapted into a (critically <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/06/girlboss-netflix-canceled-one-season">maligned</a>) <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5706996/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">Netflix series</a> in 2017. The girlboss has since become a powerful, if controversial, cultural icon.</p>
<p>They are lauded for their success in business and entrepreneurship, an arena notorious for its boys club culture that’s been hostile to women in the past. </p>
<p>At once revered and reviled, girlbosses have become fascinating case studies for gender dynamics and professional self-branding in contemporary culture. </p>
<h2>The anti-feminist core of girlbossing</h2>
<p>It’s important to remember that girlbossing isn’t feminism, it’s capitalism. </p>
<p>Girlboss rhetoric often works to propagate sexism, racism, and class elitism, among other forms of oppression. </p>
<p>Recent <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2019/12/fictions-bombshell-movie/603982/">discussion</a> of the film <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6394270/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">Bombshell</a>, the story of female Fox News presenters who victoriously sued the channel’s former CEO Roger Ailes for workplace sexual harassment, is an illustrative example. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/bombshell-hollywoods-lukewarm-attempt-to-get-to-grips-with-metoo-131496">Bombshell: Hollywood's lukewarm attempt to get to grips with #MeToo</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>Although the film celebrates these women, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/12/movies/bombshell-review.html">critics suggest</a> it is not necessarily smart to blindly celebrate such stories. And this is especially the case when women’s success, like that of Megyn Kelly and Gretchen Carlson, is built on politics or institutions that fuel social ills like misogyny and racism. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=255&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=255&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=255&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=320&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=320&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/317024/original/file-20200225-24659-lydb9z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=320&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Charlize Theron plays Megyn Kelly in Bombshell: critics say the film has erased controversial parts of Kelly’s story to suit the girlboss narrative.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Annapurna Pictures</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Girlboss rhetoric encourages women to “<a href="https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/12/6/18128838/michelle-obama-lean-in-sheryl-sandberg">lean in</a>” without addressing underlying disadvantages that make that project difficult. It is an <a href="https://www.theringer.com/2017/4/29/16043520/the-problem-with-girlboss-feminism-98f48bb6aa16">individualised approach</a> that sells women the myth that a will to self-improvement is all they need to succeed. </p>
<p>It’s important to note the feminist history here. Feminists made the ascension of the girlboss possible through fighting for the rights of women to enter the workplace. But “lean in” logic is a perversion of feminism. It takes the rhetoric of empowerment and deploys it in the service of oppression, suggesting an individual’s success is determined by her efforts alone. </p>
<p>Take Dally-Watkin’s <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/every-woman-has-a-right-to-be-beautiful-dally-watkins-dead-at-92-20200223-p543hn.html">first advertisement slogan</a> for her deportment school in the early 1950s: “Every woman has a right to be beautiful”. </p>
<p>While the invitation appeals to the rights of women, the call to action reinforces a patriarchal mechanism of oppression: beauty standards. </p>
<p>Meeting beauty standards requires significant investments of time and money, which detracts from women’s ability to invest that time and money elsewhere. Beauty standards also reinforce the idea that women’s value is in their status as objects to be looked at. </p>
<p>This darker side of beauty and deportment is undeniably part of Dally-Watkins’ legacy.</p>
<p>Dally-Watkins’s passing this week is a sad event for her family and the many people whose lives she touched, her students not least among them. She sounds like a charismatic teacher, and was undoubtedly a fiercely successful businesswoman.</p>
<p>But alongside reflecting on her career, her legacy can teach us a lot about the rise of girlbosses, made possible by the work of feminist activists who fought for the rights of women to enter the workforce and generate their own income, and about the commercialisation of self-improvement.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/132351/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Emma Maguire does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Today’s young women might be less interested in etiquette classes, but many still seek advice on presenting a polished image. It’s important to remember girlbossing is capitalism, not feminism.
Emma Maguire, Lecturer in English and Creative Writing, James Cook University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/112287
2019-03-13T10:40:53Z
2019-03-13T10:40:53Z
Escalator etiquette: Should I stand or walk for an efficient ride?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262761/original/file-20190307-82695-1kxrp7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=21%2C1120%2C2365%2C1485&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The science of getting quickly and safely to the bottom.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/HrBNsh-wzN8">Ryan Tang/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Love them or hate them, traffic laws exist to keep people safe and to help vehicles flow smoothly. And while they aren’t legally enforceable, pedestrian traffic also tends to follow its own set of unwritten rules.</p>
<p>Most pedestrians use walking etiquette as a way to minimize discomfort – “Oops! Sorry to bump you!” – and to improve efficiency – “I want to get there faster!”</p>
<p>Without even thinking about it, you probably abide by the common pedestrian traffic rule that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1068/b2697">faster walkers should move to the inside</a> of a path while slower walkers gravitate to the outside. In the United States, this aligns with street traffic rules, where vehicles pass on the left, while slower vehicles stay in the right lane of the road.</p>
<p>This approach to passing leads to the formation of pedestrian lanes of traffic. While they’re not painted on sidewalks like they are on roadways, these functional lanes can help pedestrians move more comfortably and quickly. <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=WKpzzVUAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">Human systems engineers like me</a> know that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cie.2010.07.030">pedestrian lanes emerge naturally</a> in crowded environments.</p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=897&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=897&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=897&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1127&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1127&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262759/original/file-20190307-82665-182a5tr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1127&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Is this the best advice?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/barneymoss/22780643773">Barney Moss</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<p>Within the built environment, designers have used different techniques to encourage particular pedestrian traffic patterns. One example is signs that encourage pedestrians to “stand to the right” on escalators. Riders will use the right half of the step if they are standing and the left half if they’re walking (or running!) to reach the end of the escalator.</p>
<p>But do two lanes of pedestrian traffic on an escalator actually help you reach your destination more quickly? Should there be a walking lane and a standing lane, or should both lanes be used for standing only? One study reported that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-02447-9_32">74.9 percent of pedestrians choose to stand</a> on the escalator instead of walking. Should an entire lane of the escalator be left open for a small, impatient proportion of the crowd?</p>
<p>When designers plan spaces such as roads, buildings and corridors, they consider the space needed for each person in the environment. The space needed changes depending on how the space will be used. For a pedestrian, the “buffer zone” describes how much <a href="https://trid.trb.org/view/114653">space a person needs to feel comfortable</a>, and varies by activity. Someone standing needs, on average, a little over three square feet (0.3m²) of space, whereas a <a href="https://www.fhwa.dot.gov/publications/research/safety/pedbike/98107/section2.cfm">walking pedestrian needs more than eight square feet</a> (0.75m²). That means a constrained space such as an escalator can comfortably hold more than twice the number of standing pedestrians as walking pedestrians.</p>
<p>In London, planners reaped <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jan/16/the-tube-at-a-standstill-why-tfl-stopped-people-walking-up-the-escalators">a 27 percent increase in the hourly capacity</a> by switching to a “standing only” policy on a typically congested escalator at a subway station. No walking was allowed on the crammed escalator, which allowed more people to move through the station in the same amount of time as before. A highly efficient escalator is one that has the most output – that is, carries the most people to the destination.</p>
<p>But the change was contentious. Social convention in transport has often favored the individual traveler. For example, allowing people to walk up the left does allow some individuals to move faster, even though it reduces the capacity of the escalator and slows down the overall travel time for others. While using one of the escalator lanes for walking can help the walking pedestrian exit more quickly, walkers’ varied speeds relative to the rest of the traffic hinders overall efficiency. To improve the overall system, the system-level efficiency is what should be considered.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/262762/original/file-20190307-82677-15ek1mb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">City walkers become adept at going with the flow.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevdia/16854049593">Kevin Case/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Engineers consider a lot of pedestrians in one area a high-density crowd. In these situations, pedestrians tend to walk much slower than when in a low-density or open space. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cie.2010.07.030">This slower pace is caused</a> by both a lack of space, as well as the need for each pedestrian to make more decisions – should I speed up? Slow down? Pass this person? Just wait? The overwhelming number of small decisions can lead to pedestrians behaving like those around them. This literally go-with-the-flow mentality makes walking less mentally fatiguing.</p>
<p>So when people approach an escalator, they’ll often just do what the person immediately ahead of them is doing. If the person in front of them walks, they walk. If the person in front of them stands, they stand. All it takes is someone to start the trend.</p>
<p>Stand on both sides of the escalator. The others will follow. Counterintuitive as it may seem, this one change will help everyone get to the destination faster, especially when things are crowded.</p>
<figure>
<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9jyYGC1WLJk?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
</figure><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/112287/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Lesley Strawderman receives funding from a variety of organizations, including the National Science Foundation, the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health, and the US Department of Transportation. </span></em></p>
In many cities, convention holds that there’s a lane for walking and a lane for standing on the escalator. But human systems engineers suggest this isn’t the most efficient option for the system.
Lesley Strawderman, Professor of Industrial & Systems Engineering, Mississippi State University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/107020
2018-11-15T10:37:40Z
2018-11-15T10:37:40Z
Putting the X in text: warm wishes or a kiss-off?
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/245728/original/file-20181115-194506-1bqqjfv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">lanych via Shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Do you sign off texts and emails with an x? Have you ever thought what that x – shorthand for a kiss – means to you or the person who has sent it to you? It’s said that the liberal use of x in electronic correspondence, whether personal or professional, is <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/12/the-xo-factor/309174/">feminising the workplace</a> – and Labour MP Jess Phillips was told off for being unprofessional by a judge a couple of years ago for signing off <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/commentisfree/2016/apr/05/kisses-professional-work-emails-mp-jess-phillips-email-etiquette">an email to a constituent</a> with an x. So how did we arrive at a situation where everybody gets one at the end of nearly every sentence we type?</p>
<p>Part of our answer is really simple – the x in correspondence conveys a special kind of empathy for the recipient. In a world where uppercase letters read like SHOUTING and where emojis are ambiguous, every element of a text message is easily misunderstood. The x serves as a catch-all device, telling your reader that all is well in your relationship.</p>
<p>The ubiquitous x can be applied to friendship, romantic, or even professional relationships when messaging. It is so versatile, revealing interest, affection and a general kind of togetherness which, if face to face, would be equivalent to some kind of non-verbal body language – a head tilt, or a sympathetic nod to show agreement and understanding. The x shows that you are in this together and that you seek to continue the conversation in a spirit of mutual and even jovial appreciation.</p>
<p>However, this still doesn’t fully explain why it is an x that has come to wield such power, or why it feels so essential to include one. After all, it could be – and sometimes is – a different symbol: an emoji perhaps, or a simple smiley face like this: :). Nor does it tell us about the journey taken by the x in becoming this multifaceted symbol.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245729/original/file-20181115-194488-1o1cjbm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Are you free with your emojis?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Mego studio via Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Making your mark</h2>
<p>History tells us that the x has a long pedigree. In the middle ages, handwritten letters would end with an + to signify the Christian symbol of Christ. With most people being illiterate, a cross <a href="https://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/%22X%22+as+a+Signature">was deemed</a> to be sufficiently accessible to verify identity. What’s more, there is <a href="https://mashable.com/2015/02/11/kiss-symbol-x/?europe=true#srmg.9zSasqJ">evidence</a> of such rituals of signing documentation to be accompanied by a physical kiss being given to the paper, as one might kiss a cross if of certain religious persuasions.</p>
<p>But, this still leaves a big gap between then and now. What happened at the beginnings of the digital revolution that explains this progressive encroachment into all of our correspondence, turning every message into its own letter? Equally, why did the x remain, while other elements of letter writing disappeared, such as writing: “Dear [name]”, or “from [name]” at the start and end of correspondence. We nearly never do this now when sending texts, because messaging has become an endless letter, a conversation that is always left open, to be picked up again at a later stage. It isn’t difficult to imagine that the cross at the end of letters evolved into the x just as words like “goodbye”, <a href="https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/goodbye">evolved</a> out of “God be with you”.</p>
<h2>Kissing culture</h2>
<p>Yet, for today’s generation, the connection behind the x is likely to be completely lost – it is simply some kind of kiss and, just like a cross, using it could land you in big trouble. After all, the kiss is remarkably culturally specific and an x can mean something very different – or nothing at all in a different language. For instance, in Spanish, x is short for “por”, meaning “for”. Equally, a kiss in one culture means something different in another and, in some cultures, <a href="https://scienceline.org/2006/10/ask-fiore-kiss/">there is no kissing at all</a>. There is also a gendered politics to a kiss, which can make it a highly risky undertaking to send, especially in professional settings.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/245732/original/file-20181115-194506-19roxcm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Forgotten your phone?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Monkey Business Images via Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>At the same time, the x can be a way of allowing somebody to express themselves physically without the pressure of actually having to touch somebody. Indeed, this is one of the web’s most amazing features; it can liberate us from the constraints of social conventions and provide a space for relating to others differently – a perspective that <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137297792_2">researchers have outlined</a> since its inception.</p>
<p>There may be many people who sign off with an x who would not think of kissing the person when face to face, but feel comfortable expressing such affection through a symbol. At a time when the world wide web’s inventor, Sir Tim Berners Lee, has called for <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-technology-www/father-of-web-says-tech-giants-may-have-to-be-split-up-idUSKCN1N63MV?">more love online</a>, this is surely a good thing.</p>
<p>So, while seemingly one of the most uncomplicated things we do when messaging, the x in texts has far wider implications than perhaps we first thought. A good rule may be to only send an x to people who would be comfortable with you kissing them face to face. Would you actually kiss that person, if they were in front of you? If not, then perhaps drop the x.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/107020/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andy Miah does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
People should be a bit more careful when signing off their emails and text messages. Not everyone wants a kiss.
Andy Miah, Chair in Science Communication & Future Media, University of Salford
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/105966
2018-11-01T00:28:15Z
2018-11-01T00:28:15Z
Phubbing (phone snubbing) happens more in the bedroom than when socialising with friends
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/242915/original/file-20181030-76396-i8enal.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Some social situations are more conducive to phubbing than others.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-couple-playing-mobile-phones-separately-517231027?src=GCl0vHjqSpxqcGUJoyTd4w-1-22">Shutterstock</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Have you ever been around people who spend more time looking at their phone than they do at you? Then you know what it feels like to be “phubbed” – and you’re probably guilty of doing it yourself.</p>
<p>Phubbing is the practice of looking at your phone while in the presence of others. And as smartphones become ever more entwined in the everyday lives of Australians, phubbing has become so common that many people think it’s normal. </p>
<p>People phub during work meetings, while socialising with friends at cafés, while having dinner with their family, while attending lectures and even while in bed. </p>
<p>But how common is phubbing in Australia? And in what social situations is it most prevalent? </p>
<p>To find out, we surveyed 385 people and asked them how often they look at their smartphones while having face-to-face conversations with others. They recorded their answers as: never, rarely, sometimes, often, or all the time. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/she-phubbs-me-she-phubbs-me-not-smartphones-could-be-ruining-your-love-life-68463">She phubbs me, she phubbs me not: Smartphones could be ruining your love life</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>We’re more likely to phub family than colleagues</h2>
<p>We found 62% of those surveyed reported looking at their smartphone while having a face-to-face conversation with another person or persons.</p>
<p>Gender made no difference to how often someone phubbed. Neither did geography, with people living in the city and the country phubbing equally as often. But younger people phubbed others more frequently than older people. And people phubbed their partners most of all. </p>
<iframe src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/jpObh/2/" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" width="100%" height="645"></iframe>
<p>The study also revealed smartphone users phubbed their parents and children more frequently than they phubbed their colleagues at work, clients and customers. These findings suggest a professional attitude towards using the smartphone in the workplace.</p>
<h2>We phub more in bed than when socialising</h2>
<p>Some social situations are more conducive to phubbing than others.</p>
<p>We found people phubbed each other more when commuting together on public transport, during work coffee or lunch breaks, when in bed with their partners, when travelling together in private transport and when socialising with friends.</p>
<p>People were less likely to phub others during meetings, during meal times with family, and during lectures and classes.</p>
<iframe src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/rCAbg/1/" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" width="100%" height="497"></iframe>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/the-importance-of-actually-unplugging-on-national-day-of-unplugging-92983">The importance of actually unplugging on National Day of Unplugging</a>
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</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Boredom isn’t the main reason people phub</h2>
<p>We were interested in finding out whether boredom plays a role in phubbing behaviour so we asked our survey participants to complete an eight-item <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1073191115609996">Boredom Proneness Scale</a>. </p>
<p>Sample questions included “I find it hard to entertain myself” and “many things I have to do are repetitive and monotonous.” </p>
<p>We found boredom did explain why people phub, but that the influence of boredom is <a href="https://rdcu.be/bamfy">very small</a>. Other factors, such as the “fear of missing out” (FOMO), lack of self-control, and internet addiction may play a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.05.018">more important role</a> in phubbing behaviour.</p>
<h2>The effect of phubbing depends on the situation</h2>
<p>Looking at the smartphone while a person is having a face-to-face conversation with another person is a relatively new phenomenon. While it may violate some people’s expectations, it’s no simple task to categorise the behaviour as good or bad.</p>
<p>One <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/1041794X.2015.1055371">theory</a> suggests that when people get phubbed they might judge the behaviour according to how important the phubber is to them. For example, phubbing among friends is probably more acceptable than a subordinate phubbing a manager during a work-related meeting. </p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-the-smartphone-affected-an-entire-generation-of-kids-82477">How the smartphone affected an entire generation of kids</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>While that might be good news for the workforce, it’s not great for close relationships. Phubbing partners can make them feel less important and this can <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/ppm0000065">decrease the satisfaction with the relationship</a>. In the case of children, especially those at a vulnerable age, phubbing them can make them feel unloved, which can have a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/2901790.2901809">detrimental effect on their well-being</a>. </p>
<p>Our findings can be used to inform programs, policies and campaigns that aim at addressing the phubbing phenomenon. </p>
<p>It’s clear from the research smartphone users are more likely to phub those who are closely related to them than those less close to them. So next time you get phubbed when you are out with someone, take it as a compliment – it could mean they consider you a close friend.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>The research discussed in this article will be published in the Proceedings of the 2018 <a href="https://icis2018.aisconferences.org/">International Conference on Information Systems</a> (ICIS).</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/105966/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Yeslam Al-Saggaf does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Looking at your phone while in the presence of others – called phubbing – has become commonplace. But who gets phubbed most? How frequently? And in what situations?
Yeslam Al-Saggaf, Associate Professor, Charles Sturt University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/99420
2018-08-08T12:24:36Z
2018-08-08T12:24:36Z
Does rudeness have a legitimate place in politics? The case for and against
<p>We live in an age of rude politicians. In the US, Donald Trump has periodically monopolised the <a href="https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2017/12/04/the-rudeness-king-donald/JLSysyyLAMXfYDtT2TgqlJ/story.html">headlines</a> since 2015 with his rude and obnoxious behaviour, often showcased via Twitter or at international summits, where he has pushed presidents out of his way and left his counterparts <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jun/11/g7-photo-of-trump-merkel-becomes-classic-art">visibly exasperated</a>. His behaviour seems to be incurring an etiquette backlash against his administration: in June 2018, his press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, was publicly <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/23/sarah-sanders-asked-leave-restaurant-works-donald-trump/">asked to leave a restaurant</a> because her work for the Trump administration put her at odds with the restaurant staff.</p>
<p>These incidents, and more besides, have prompted calls for increased civility in politics in the US and elsewhere. But should we really attempt to eradicate rudeness – or does it have an important role to play?</p>
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<p>In British politics, for one, there is a long history of politicians being openly rude to each other, including in parliament itself. In the last several years, it has arguably hit new heights (or, depending on your view, depths). In 2010, Prime Minister David Cameron was slated by the press for his <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0261927X18767472">rudeness</a> – what he himself referred to as “yah-boo style” – during prime minister’s questions.</p>
<p>Cameron was known to deploy every tactic from character assassination (“The truth is he is weak and despicable”, he said to <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0261927X18767472">Ed Miliband</a> in 2015) to outright mockery (“If the prime minister is going to have pre-prepared jokes, I think they ought to be a bit better than that one – probably not enough bananas on the menu” – this to <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0261927X18767472">Gordon Brown</a> in 2010, mocking his opponent’s <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7186310/Gordon-Brown-eating-nine-bananas-a-day-to-ween-himself-off-KitKats.html">dietary choices</a>).</p>
<p>But while Cameron was often castigated for his behaviour, he was far from an outlier, and his behaviour did not occur in a vacuum. The House of Commons’s benches are organised in such a way that <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956474812460465b">confrontation is encouraged</a>, and adversarial style is both <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1057/bp.2012.13">encouraged and expected</a> by members of parliament. The demands of political <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/288944584_Insulting_as_unparliamentary_practice_in_the_British_and_Swedish_Parliaments_a_rhetorical_approach">tactics</a> force opposing parliamentarians into a stark choice: circumvent an awkward question or put your opponent on the back foot.</p>
<p>The strategic use of rudeness is a common feature of political discourse around the world. It’s a tool used to contest <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/978-1-137-37508-7_28">negative publicity</a>, as in the case of Dan Rather’s 1988 interview with George H. W. Bush, where the then-vice president infamously <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqwQw3THRvU">yelled at the interviewer</a> to dispel his image as a weak leader. Rudeness can also be utilised to attack the “face” or self-image of your adversary, consequently raising your own <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216612001737#bib0030">status</a>: ultimately, a zero sum game.</p>
<p>Rudeness is also a useful way to curb others’ behaviour or challenge their political views with as much force as possible. When <a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/academia.edu.documents/45716967/s0378-2166_2802_2900118-220160517-1843-1mvn3n.pdf?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAIWOWYYGZ2Y53UL3A&Expires=1530699623&Signature=9VXXwLYEdYadpBgx5I8%2BbfBsXFg%3D&response-content-disposition=inline%3B%20filename%3DImpoliteness_revisited_with_special_refe.pdf">used</a> to communicate anger and disapproval, and to harden one’s refusal to cooperate, it’s a useful tool for voters who want to change their representatives’ behaviour. </p>
<p>It can also be a useful <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216612001737">release valve</a> for negative emotions. Some <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1461444804041444">researchers</a> suggest that such behaviours aren’t rude when considered in the context of political discourse; it has been argued that “heated discussion” (both face to face and online) should be encouraged to enable voters to engage with politicians, express disagreement and heighten engagement with the political process.</p>
<h2>Check yourself</h2>
<p>Rudeness affects not just aggressor and victim, but others besides. It subjects victims to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1359432X.2012.698057">stress</a>; it <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/job.2183">isolates and embarrasses</a> them, and can undermine their <a href="https://journals.aom.org/doi/abs/10.5465/amj.2007.20159919">performance at work</a>. But bystanders who witness the behaviour can also be adversely affected, experiencing anger and compromised <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0749597809000041">performance</a>. Just <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fapl0000247">witnessing one incident of rudeness</a> in the morning can affect a person for the rest of the day, producing increased sensitivity to rudeness (making them more predisposed to think others are being rude), reduced ability to focus on goals and a desire to avoid interacting with others. These consequences should make people think twice before lashing out.</p>
<p>Another issue is the suggestion that rudeness begets rudeness. Known as the <a href="https://journals.aom.org/doi/abs/10.5465/amr.1999.2202131">incivility spiral</a>, this idea holds that those who experience rudeness are likely respond in kind. The exchange of slights and insults is then likely to escalate on both sides, potentially leading to aggression or violence. And so what begins as relatively mild rudeness can quickly turn into something highly unpleasant.</p>
<p>This is what’s happening in American politics today. Journalists and politicians are increasingly citing past incidents (say, Trump’s repeated references to Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren as <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jun/26/donald-trump-sarah-huckabee-sanders-red-hen-restaurant">Pocahontas</a>) as the basis for any rudeness directed towards the administration, including a recent incident where the <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/sarah-sanders-red-hen-trump-kicked-out-restaurant-virginia-lexington-white-house-press-secretary-a8413701.html">homeland security secretary</a> was booed out of a Mexican restaurant. The <a href="https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2018/08/05/nyts_mark_landler_trump_rallies_becoming_ritual.html">aggressive rhetoric</a> at recent Trump rallies is a sign that things are getting to a new low. Then there are the diplomatic consequences of Trump’s rudeness towards supposed allies, many of whom seem to be running out of patience.</p>
<p>So while rudeness might be a perfectly effective strategy in some adversarial contexts, it’s a dangerous game to play in the public eye. Every rude comment or tweet can incur aggressive retaliation and undermine diplomatic relations – and put citizens everywhere off politics altogether.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/99420/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dr Amy Irwin does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
The world is up in arms about many politicians’ increasing rudeness. Are we right to be so perturbed?
Dr Amy Irwin, Lecturer in Psychology, University of Aberdeen
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/98638
2018-06-21T03:02:25Z
2018-06-21T03:02:25Z
How’s it going, Mal? Why Australians can get away with familiarity but French schoolboys can’t
<p>On Monday this week French President Emmanuel Macron was greeting some high school students at a ceremony in western Paris to commemorate General Charles De Gaulle’s call for resistance in the second world war. It became an unlikely lesson in <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-19/macron-scolds-teen-for-asking-hows-it-going-manu/9884346">French manners</a>.</p>
<p>Greeting a group of boys, Macron said to them, “<em>Ça va?</em>”, a phrase you’d use with your friends or people you know well to mean “How are you?”. A boy, who’d tried to catch the president’s attention by singing the Socialist anthem, The Internationale, then shouted “<em>Ça va, Manu?</em>”. “Manu” is the shortened form of “Emmanuel”.</p>
<p>He certainly got Macron’s attention. The president responded:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>No, no, no, I’m not your mate, no. You’re here at an official ceremony, you behave <em>comme il faut</em> [as befits the situation]. You can carry on like an idiot, but today’s about <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/La-Marseillaise">The Marseillaise</a> and the <a href="http://holocaustmusic.ort.org/resistance-and-exile/french-resistance/le-chant-des-partisans/">Song of the Partisans</a>. You call me “Mr President of the Republic” or “Sir”, OK?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The student apologised, and <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.fr/2018/06/18/emmanuel-macron-fait-la-lecon-a-un-adolescent-tu-mappelles-monsieur-le-president_a_23461721/">Macron dished out</a> some life advice on the importance of doing things in the right order, needing a degree and learning how to put food on the table. All the while he wagged his finger at the teen – a sign of social and power distance.</p>
<p>Following the encounter, Macron made a call for respect on <a href="https://twitter.com/EmmanuelMacron/status/1008770776391127042">his Twitter feed</a>. The Australian media <a href="https://twitter.com/LaTrioli/status/1009171034757447680">questioned</a> whether leaders should be approachable, while the French media were <a href="https://www.msn.com/fr-fr/actualite/france/tu-mappelles-monsieur-le-pr%C3%A9sident-la-r%C3%A9ponse-de-macron-%C3%A0-lapostrophe-dun-jeune/ar-AAyOEnK">unsurprised</a>; he’s done things like <a href="http://www.france24.com/en/mediawatch/20160530-best-way-afford-suit-get-job">this before</a>. Twitter made fun of the president’s <a href="https://www.ouest-france.fr/politique/emmanuel-macron/ca-va-manu-emmanuel-macron-recadre-un-lyceen-twitter-s-enflamme-5833685">words</a>. </p>
<p>In Australia, the equivalent would be someone saying to our prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull, “How’s it goin’, Mal?” And in Australia, we could probably get away with it. </p>
<p>What a particular culture thinks are “normal” and good ways of behaving and interacting with other people are reflected in the language and the way it’s used. These cultural norms and values aren’t always obvious. It may take someone breaking the “rules” to reveal what they are and why they’re important.</p>
<p>Informality and familiarity are highly valued in Australia, and our language has <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-cultures/201711/cultural-keywords">phrases and ways of speaking</a> that embody these values. For example, uni students often call their lecturers by their first names. Words are shortened – “sunglasses” become “sunnies”; people’s names are cropped – “Sophia” becomes “Soph”. In line with this, Australians don’t like hierarchy, and the use of titles is an explicit way to mark someone out as being above others. </p>
<p>The use of first names and casual expression reduces distance. It’s a way of saying to your listener “I’m like you; we’re the same”. The Australian distaste for hierarchy is seen in the phrase <a href="https://research-repository.griffith.edu.au/bitstream/handle/10072/348409/PeetersPUB3311.pdf?sequence=1">“cut down the tall poppies”</a>. People who don’t like seeing others rise to the top may be afflicted with the “tall poppy syndrome”.</p>
<p>Australians work hard at presenting themselves as ordinary lest they be seen as thinking they are better than others or in some way special and not like other people. The use of titles, like Dr or Professor, is an explicit way to mark someone out as not like other people. When Macron insisted that the teen call him “Mr President”, he was demanding to be treated differently to everyone else. </p>
<p>Australian English has lots of ways to show disdain for specialness. Someone who wants to be seen as better than others could be described as being “up themselves”, “big-headed”, acting like they “have tickets on themselves”, or even “a bit of a <a href="http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.551.1714&rep=rep1&type=pdf">wanker</a>”. </p>
<p>For the French, it’s good manners to acknowledge the hierarchy by using titles and particular word forms. English has one word for “you”, but French has two: a polite “you” and an informal or familiar “you”. People who are older, you don’t know well or are higher in social standing must be addressed with <a href="https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/french-english/vous">the polite <em>vous</em></a>; <em>tu</em> is for mates, people you know well or are younger than you. </p>
<p>Australian English doesn’t have this linguistically embedded difference. Titles make us uncomfortable because they go against our egalitarian and matey outlook. </p>
<p>Macron had already established distance by addressing the teen with <em>tu</em>. As the older person, he reinforced this linguistic device with a condescending gesture by wagging his finger.</p>
<p>While a brave, and certainly cheeky, Aussie teen could get away with “How’s it goin’, Mal?”, Turnbull couldn’t dole out such authoritarian advice without copping an earful in return.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>All translations are the author’s own.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/98638/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Sophia Waters does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>
Could an Aussie high schooler say to our prime minister, “How’s it goin’, Mal?”, and get away with it? Probably.
Sophia Waters, Lecturer in Writing, University of New England
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/95473
2018-05-10T15:21:41Z
2018-05-10T15:21:41Z
I go undercover into arms fairs – and secretly draw caricatures of the ‘hell’ I find there
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218081/original/file-20180508-34015-wl9r39.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=202%2C155%2C2946%2C2142&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">
</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Jill Gibbon</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The arms multinational BAE Systems is in the final stages of a deal to sell <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-britain-saudi-bae-systems/britain-to-finalize-typhoon-plane-order-talks-with-saudi-idUSKCN1GL26D">48 Typhoon fighter jets</a> to Saudi Arabia, despite mounting evidence of war crimes in Saudi-led airstrikes in Yemen. International humanitarian law prohibits attacks against civilians but the Saudi-led coalition has bombed Yemeni schools, markets and hospitals, <a href="http://sro.sussex.ac.uk/69215/">killing more than 10,000 people</a> including children, while survivors face disease and starvation with the collapse of infrastructure. </p>
<p>Fragments of bombs made in <a href="https://www.amnesty.org.uk/exposed-british-made-bombs-used-civilian-targets-yemen">Britain</a> and <a href="https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2016/09/yemen-evidence-indicates-us-made-bomb-was-used-in-attack-on-msf-hospital/">the US</a> have been found in the debris of some of these attacks, yet both countries <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-middle-east-35898999/uk-made-bomb-destroyed-yemen-factory">continue to sell arms</a> to the Saudi regime.</p>
<p>Such deals take place in arms fairs, away from the public eye. I have drawn undercover in fairs in Europe and the Middle East for the past ten years, in an attempt to understand how international arms sales are normalised and legitimised. Access is restricted, but I get in by dressing up as a security consultant with a suit, heels, fake pearls, and a sham company. My performance is a metaphor for the charade of respectability in the industry.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218078/original/file-20180508-34027-1mmglkv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A sales rep.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Jill Gibbon</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Arms fairs emerged from the globalisation of the military industry in the late 1990s. At the end of the Cold War, defence budgets were cut. There was a brief opportunity to convert military production facilities into civil areas such as medical equipment, transport and renewable energy; instead, arms companies merged into multinationals, expanded into security, and focused on a global market. Arms fairs were set up to provide venues for these deals. </p>
<p>The largest, DSEI (the Defence Security Exhibition International) takes place every two years in London, with similar fairs in Paris, Bahrain and Abu Dhabi. Here, weapons are displayed to an international clientele including countries at war, unstable states and repressive regimes. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.caat.org.uk/issues/arms-fairs/dsei/delegations">DSEI welcomes</a> 75% of the countries that the UK Foreign Office <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/human-rights-and-democracy-report-2015/human-rights-and-democracy-report-2015">has listed</a> as “Human Rights Priorities”, where “the worst, or greatest number of, human rights violations take place”.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218084/original/file-20180508-34021-1duho8f.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A tank salesman.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Jill Gibbon</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Inside a fair, missiles, bombs and bullets are arranged under spotlights; guns are available to try out for weight and size, and to aim at imaginary targets; mannequins pose in camouflage offering private military services and tear gas; tanks are open for viewing. “Lethality” is a sales slogan. Manufacturers boast of the precision of their products, as if war could be refined through science. </p>
<p>As with most advertising, such claims turn out to be exaggerated when the weapons are actually used. Bombing is <a href="http://www.comw.org/pda/0402rm9.html">inevitably inaccurate</a>, compromised by an inbuilt margin of error, malfunctions, mistaken intelligence and the weather. The difference between a combatant and civilian is also increasingly unclear, as Yemen shows. Yet such claims make war more likely.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=427&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=427&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=427&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=536&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=536&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218083/original/file-20180508-34024-1ivlsq7.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=536&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">String quartet.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Jill Gibbon</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Many stalls hand out gifts as an alternative to business cards – stress-balls in the shape of bombs, grenades and tanks, branded sweets and pens. A gas mask manufacturer has condoms with the slogan, “The ultimate protection”. Waiting staff hover with trays of wine, beer and grapes, while a string quartet plays Handel and Mozart.</p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=617&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=617&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=617&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=775&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=775&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218087/original/file-20180508-34027-aekk7h.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=775&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Grenade stress relief.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Jill Gibbon</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>There are also promotions. The BAE subsidiary Bofors has a live satellite link to its weapons testing facility in Sweden where a military vehicle explodes in a cloud of light and metal. Alongside the video screens, bowls are filled with toffees in wrappers saying, “Welcome to hell”. Brochures explain that the Bofors test centre is “Hell for your product, heaven for your investment”. The impact on people of the weapons that pass through the test centre is oddly missing. In an arms fair, missiles are forever products.</p>
<p>How to draw this? My drawings veer between caricature and observational methods. Mainly, I focus on the etiquette that gives the industry an appearance of respectability – the handshakes, pinstriped suits, hospitality, and violins. I also draw cracks in the façade – a lewd advance, a rep slumped in a chair with his head in his hands, the continual, desperate drinking. Brecht used the Latin word <em>gestus</em> to <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Brecht_On_Theatre.html?id=W1iCBAAAQBAJ&source=kp_cover&redir_esc=y">describe</a> an attitude that expresses a social role or condition. In his plays, gestures are frozen so they seem strange. Perhaps drawing can be used in a similar way.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=436&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/218085/original/file-20180508-34018-18hvzwu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=548&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Drinking.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">© Jill Gibbon</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Or, perhaps the gifts are sufficient in themselves to reveal the strange amorality of an industry that uses war as a sales opportunity. The BAE Bofors toffees might be intended to convey the impact of a test centre on weapons with the slogan “Welcome to hell” – but sweets are usually meant for children.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/95473/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jill Gibbon receives funding from the Independent Social Research Foundation. </span></em></p>
There’s a disturbing disconnect between the polite etiquette of arms fairs and the hell that their products create.
Jill Gibbon, Senior Lecturer in Graphic Arts, Leeds Beckett University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.
tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/62699
2016-07-24T20:03:34Z
2016-07-24T20:03:34Z
There’s a time to put down the smartphone, seriously!
<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/131193/original/image-20160720-8011-1fxejot.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">The typical view at a concert when fans take out their smartphones.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock/Pressmaster</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Fans of singer-songwriter Alicia Keys <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/music/alicia-keys-locks-up-audience-members-mobile-phones-in-the-yondr-pouch-at-her-concerts-20160620-gpn4sa.html">were greeted with a simple message</a> earlier this year when they entered the Highline Ballroom, in New York, to watch her perform.</p>
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<p>This is a phone free event.</p>
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<p>Their smartphones were placed in a lockable pouch distributed by the consumer electronics company, <a href="http://overyondr.com/">Yondr</a>. They carried the pouch with them, only opening it when they exited the venue by tapping on a metal disc located at the main door.</p>
<p>No mobile video or audio recording, live streaming, tweeting, status updates, texting or phone calls occurred while Keys performed on stage.</p>
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<span class="caption">Alicia Keys performing in Australia in 2011.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/walmartcorporate/5793373501/">Walmart/Flickr</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<p>This arrangement met with a range of responses including open frustration, muted acceptance and enthusiastic embrace.</p>
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<p><a href="http://overyondr.com/">Yondr’s website</a> presents an intriguing promise about the experience of phone-free space. Recalling an era before smartphones and broadband mobile services, the company promises to show people “how powerful a moment can be” once the habitual checking and constant use of smartphones is stopped.</p>
<p>Rather than offering connection, it says smartphones cut “people off from each other”, distracting the attention of the user and diminishing the emotional purchase of live events.</p>
<h2>Others seek to ban the smartphone</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jun/20/yondr-phone-free-cases-alicia-keys-concert">Other artists</a> including The Lumineers, Guns N Roses, Louis CK and Dave Chappelle, have backed Yondr’s promise by employing the pouch at their shows.</p>
<p>Other performers have objected openly to mobile media use by audience members. Performing in Verona, Italy, British performer Adele <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/may/31/adele-tells-fan-to-stop-filming-gig-and-enjoy-it-in-real-life">rebuked a woman for filming her as she sang</a>, arguing:</p>
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<p>Because I’m really here in real life, you can enjoy it in real life rather than through your camera.</p>
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<p>In 2014, the renowned singer-songwriter Kate Bush asked fans to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/aug/19/kate-bush-asks-fans-no-phones-tablets-london-gigs">leave their smartphones and tablets at home</a> during her comeback gigs in London. She wrote on <a href="http://www.katebush.com/news/thanks-and-concert-update">her website</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I very much want to have contact with you as an audience, not with iPhones, iPads or cameras.</p>
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<p>Parallel appeals are evident in live sport. Celebrity entrepreneur and team owner of the <a href="http://www.mavs.com/">NBA’s Dallas Mavericks</a>, Mark Cuban has advocated against the use of smartphones at live basketball games since 2010.</p>
<p>Much like his appearances on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMITubk2ajQ">Shark Tank</a>, Cuban’s message is delivered with characteristic <a href="http://blogmaverick.com/2011/12/24/the-fan-experience-at-sporting-events-we-dont-need-no-stinking-smartphones/">bluntness</a>: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>We don’t need no stinking smartphones!</p>
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<p>Cuban warns spectators that <a href="http://blogmaverick.com/2014/02/23/my-2-cents-on-sports-marketing-and-what-i-learned-from-smu-basketball-this-week/">looking down at a mobile screen during play</a> could mean missing:</p>
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<p>[…] the look on the face of your child, or your date, and the everlasting memories that are created from games. </p>
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<p>Cuban’s argument corresponds with a group of ardent fans who follow the Dutch football team, PSV Eindhoven.</p>
<p>The opening home game of the 2014-15 season witnessed a protest by fans against the installation of a new Wi-Fi network in the stadium. A large banner held aloft during the game made it very clear what <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/aug/18/psv-fans-protest-against-wifi-access">fans thought of Wi-Fi</a>.</p>
<p>The protest met with approval by a vocal subsection of <a href="http://mcs.sagepub.com/content/38/3/420.abstract">fans who post in online football forums</a>.</p>
<h2>The live experience</h2>
<p>The conflicted relationship between mobile use and non-use is a common dominator in these events. The power of live performances and games is built on the heightened emotions and sensory engagement generated by the collective focus of a crowd.</p>
<p>But some performers and audience members believe that the constant use of smartphones and tablets by other attendees erodes the quality of their focus and experience. It is a situation in which each individual’s choice possesses exponential significance, producing the overall atmosphere of a live event.</p>
<p>The widespread coverage given to the likes of Keys, Bush, Cuban and others says a great deal about the contested status of mobile technology use in social life.</p>
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<figcaption><span class="caption">American musician and singer-songwriter Jack White is also hates smartphones at his concerts.</span></figcaption>
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<p>The problem is a failure to reflect on the impact of smartphone and tablet use in particular social situations. It is necessary to think about and discuss the ways mobile media connect and disconnect people to differing degrees and in different ways.</p>
<p>A failure to do so risks the thoughtless prioritisation of always-on mobile connectivity to the detriment of potentially memorable social experiences. A temporary disengagement from mobile media is sometimes the preferable arrangement.</p>
<h2>The shared event</h2>
<p>The question of how to best <a href="https://mitpress.mit.edu/books/new-tech-new-ties">integrate technical and social forms of connectivity</a> requires an understanding of what is shared at events such as concerts and sporting fixtures.</p>
<p>With regard to smartphones, sharing encompasses images, footage, audio content, messages and related information (the songs played and live sport scores). The circulation of these items manifests the experiences and reactions of users, as well as a feeling of camaraderie with friends and networks.</p>
<p>But sitting alongside these media practices are the collective excitement, togetherness and emotions generated by crowds as they focus on a spectacle together, and the lasting memories these experiences create.</p>
<p>The balance between these forms of sharing in a mobile age is unpredictable and occasionally cause for visible disagreement.</p>
<p>We are all a part of the unfolding response to this conundrum, which demands <a href="http://sms.sagepub.com/content/1/2/2056305115604174.full">social experience be taken as seriously as economic considerations</a> in figuring the role of mobile devices in our lives. This is not always an easy task when faced by the seductive marketing efforts of digital technology giants such as Apple, Samsung, Google, Facebook and Twitter.</p>
<p>But mobile media users must contemplate how incessant sharing serves the commercial interests of social networking platforms, digital data harvesters, mobile advertisers and telecommunications carriers. </p>
<p>Conscientious non-users also need to pause and ask how their stance is leveraged by those seeking to protect intellectual property and minimise the circulation of content on platforms such as YouTube and Facebook. </p>
<p>Even as it sells tens of millions of iPhones each quarter, Apple has hinted at a move in this direction by <a href="http://thenextweb.com/apple/2016/06/30/apple-patents-way-stop-recording-video-concerts/#gref">registering a patent</a> that would prohibit phone cameras from recording footage in designated areas. </p>
<p>The outstanding question is how much content people really need to record, produce and distribute via their smartphone before they miss witnessing or sharing something significant in their immediate environment.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/62699/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Brett Hutchins receives funding from the Australian Research Council through the Future Fellowship scheme (FT130100506).</span></em></p>
There’s a time and place for a smartphone and some artists and sports stars want you to stop using them when they’re performing. Just enjoy the live event instead.
Brett Hutchins, Associate Professor in Media Studies and Australian Research Council Future Fellow, Monash University
Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.