tag:theconversation.com,2011:/us/topics/gratitude-12208/articlesGratitude – The Conversation2023-03-28T19:29:00Ztag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1984742023-03-28T19:29:00Z2023-03-28T19:29:00ZSuicide prevention: Protective factors can build hope and mitigate risks<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517342/original/file-20230324-24-cfiq1p.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=233%2C17%2C1523%2C1053&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Protective factors like supportive relationships can counteract suicide risk factors.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><iframe style="width: 100%; height: 100px; border: none; position: relative; z-index: 1;" allowtransparency="" allow="clipboard-read; clipboard-write" src="https://narrations.ad-auris.com/widget/the-conversation-canada/suicide-prevention--protective-factors-can-build-hope-and-mitigate-risks" width="100%" height="400"></iframe>
<p>Globally, an estimated <a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide">700,000 people take their own life every year</a> — a statistic that underscores the importance of suicide prevention. </p>
<p>Suicidal thoughts (ideation), plans and attempts are suprisingly common: <a href="https://www.canada.ca/content/dam/phac-aspc/documents/services/publications/healthy-living/suicide-canada-key-statistics-infographic/ENG.pdf">12 per cent of Canadians have thought about suicide during their lifetime, 4.3 per cent made a plan and 3.1 per cent attempted it</a>.</p>
<p>Past suicide prevention efforts have emphasized the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/acps.13059">identification and mitigation of risk factors</a>. Most guidelines comprise <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27841450/">lists of non-specific factors such as mental illness, physical illness, life stress, special population status or access to lethal means</a>. This leaves room for improvement.</p>
<p>The focus is increasingly shifting toward protective factors that make it less likely that individuals will consider, attempt or die by suicide. Protective factors can help counterbalance the effects of risk factors on mental health. For example, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.genhosppsych.2013.10.006">optimism and gratitude may reduce suicidal ideation even if someone is experiencing depression</a>.</p>
<p>This emerging field offers evidence-based strategies to protect against suicidal thoughts and behaviours and reduce their frequency.</p>
<h2>Social support and connectedness</h2>
<p>The interpersonal theory of suicide describes the social nature of suicide and emphasizes <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2013.04.007">two key elements explaining why people consider suicide</a>: feelings of not belonging, and the sense of being a burden to others.</p>
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<img alt="Illustration of a stick figure preventing a line of dominoes from falling over" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=300&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=377&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=377&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517346/original/file-20230324-22-65cut6.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=377&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Anyone — especially those with whom a trusting relationship has been established — can be a source of support by both offering and asking for help.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2013.01.033">Research on social support</a> suggests that the perception that one is cared for, loved, esteemed, and a member of a network of mutual obligations, contributes to a sense of belonging, making it a protective factor against suicide. Different <a href="https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.115.169094">social networks can provide emotional support, practical help or information</a>. </p>
<p>Individuals who perceived they had strong <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2020.27491">social support had an approximately 40 per cent reduced risk of suicidal ideation and attempts</a>. Connection with others may also be protective for people experiencing interpersonal adversity in one sphere of their life. For instance, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2014.1223">strong family connections may protect against suicidal ideation for a youth experiencing bullying in school</a>. </p>
<p>Social support is a key protective factor for suicide, and anyone — especially those with whom a trusting relationship has been established — can be a source of support by both offering and asking for help. </p>
<h2>Beliefs and sense of meaning</h2>
<p>Several therapeutic approaches promote searching for meaning in life. Meaning has been described by Michael Steger, director of the Center for Meaning and Purpose at Colorado State University, as having two key components: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2015.1137623">a sense of comprehensibility, and the pursuit and attainment of goals</a>. </p>
<p>Both the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02485-4">presence and search for meaning can protect against suicidal behaviours by decreasing hopelessness</a>, a negative attitude about future life events. Furthermore, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2013.04.007">gratitude indirectly buffers against suicidal ideation by contributing meaning in life</a>. Gratitude exercises, such as daily journaling, are easily implementable interventions. </p>
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<img alt="Illustration of three silhouettes of a human head with different emotional expressions" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517347/original/file-20230324-20-mdnoy8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Several therapeutic approaches promote searching for meaning in life.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p>Cultural, religious and personal beliefs are also recognized sources of guidance to perceive life as meaningful. For instance, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2014.970299">a study of Asian-American students found that for some, a desire to not let loved ones down was protective against suicide attempts</a>. </p>
<p>Other studies suggest <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/19349637.2012.744620">spiritual faith provides the ability to find personal meaning amidst stressful life circumstances</a>. The relationship between religion and suicide is complex. Several studies have found religion to play a protective role <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/med/9780198834441.003.0002">against suicidal ideation and attempt</a>. This arises from social factors (mutual care of members of supportive community), ethical considerations (condemnation of suicide) and fear (God’s wrath), as well as by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/13811118.2015.1004494">interpreting suffering in a tolerable way</a>. </p>
<p>A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2016.1243">study of U.S. women showed that those who frequently attended religious service</a> had approximately five-fold lower rate of suicide mortality compared to those who never attended. </p>
<h2>Mindfulness and self-compassion</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-021-01815-1">Self-compassion and mindfulness</a> have received increasing attention for their potential to buffer against suicidal thoughts and behaviours. </p>
<p>Educational psychologist <a href="https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/">Kristin Neff</a> defines <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.633482">self-compassion as kindness towards oneself in a time of pain</a>. </p>
<p>Self-compassion decreases negative self-judgments, which helps counteract negative emotional states such as self-loathing and self-isolation. Adopting a compassionate stance may help individuals accept difficult thoughts and emotions as a way out of suffering, and is critical for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-022-09550-x">moving individuals toward a life that is not structured around avoidance or escape from painful thoughts, emotions and physiological sensations</a>.</p>
<p>A related concept is mindfulness, defined as the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgement. Mindfulness-based interventions may be a promising practice to help navigate suicidal thoughts and behaviours. </p>
<p>Most interventions are a form of mental training to develop skills such as mindful awareness, focused attention and well-being. These skills allow one to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/13811118.2020.1833796">respond rather than react to stimuli, enhancing cognitive and emotional regulation</a>. </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2018.1109">Dialectical behaviour therapy, the gold-standard treatment for chronic suicidality, also promotes acceptance while advocating for change by focusing on emotion regulation</a>. Dialectic thinking allows an individual to hold two seemingly opposite ideas as part of the same truth. Accepting that opposites can co-exist by engaging in more flexible thinking is a valuable strategy to regulate intense emotions.</p>
<p>Recent research in the field of mindfulness has begun to describe the role played by the mind-body connection in mechanisms related to suicide. In the presence of suicidal ideation, individuals with reported <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2019.112661">low levels of dissociation, defined as detachment from reality, were less likely to attempt suicide</a>. </p>
<p>Subsequent studies have shown the benefit of interventions aimed at improving interoception — the ability to sense and accept internal sensations and emotions — in reducing suicidal ideation. Engaging in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2021.02.001">self-guided progressive body relaxation exercise led to improved body trust and reduced identification with suicide</a>.</p>
<h2>Healthy lifestyle and habits</h2>
<p>Sleep hygiene and physical activity promote overall well-being in both physiological and psychological ways, given the strong mind-body connection.</p>
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<img alt="Red umbrella against gray stormy sky, with blue sky under the umbrella" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=375&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=375&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=375&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=471&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=471&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/517357/original/file-20230324-25-7x7gzd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=471&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Protective factors such as optimism and gratitude may reduce suicidal ideation even if someone is experiencing depression.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Canva)</span></span>
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<p>Sleep serves critical roles in <a href="https://doi.org/10.5665/sleep.4886">cognitive functions</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.920789">mood regulation and impulse control, among other things</a>. Research has shown an association between sleep duration and suicide risk. One study observed the lowest risk for suicidal ideation and attempts for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2018.07.003">people sleeping eight to nine hours per day</a>. The same study suggested an 11 per cent reduction in risk of suicide plans for every one-hour increase in sleep.</p>
<p>Evidence also shows the benefits of physical activity. A recent systematic review has shown that physically <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2017.08.070">active individuals reported almost 50 per cent lower suicidal ideation</a>. </p>
<p>Physical activity <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00223980.2021.1992334">can also be perceived as a form of self-compassion and an exercise in gratitude by recognizing the importance of treating the body with care</a>. Emerging evidence also suggests that the documented benefits of physical activity, such as walking, are larger when it takes place in nature. A study found that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.08.121">people with treatment-resistant major depressive disorder who walked in nature experienced fewer negative internal feelings than those who walked in urban streets</a>. </p>
<h2>Protective factors and resilience</h2>
<p>Suicide is complex. <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2016.00108">People considering or who have attempted suicide are suffering from tremendous emotional pain</a>. There is no one-size-fits-all recipe for prevention, but sharing knowledge about things that can help guard against suicide is critical. It raises hope and is part of the solution. </p>
<p>These protective factors for suicide can be regarded as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/acps.13059">pillars of resilience</a>. As a society, it is imperative to continue bringing more awareness to the discussion of suicide and to help people build resilience individually and collectively. </p>
<p><em>If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call 911 for emergency services. For support, call Canada Suicide Prevention Service at 1-866-277-3553 (from Québec) or 1-833-456-4566 (other provinces), or send a text to 45645. Visit <a href="https://talksuicide.ca/crisis-services-canada">Crisis Services Canada</a> for more resources.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/198474/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Marie-Claude Geoffroy holds a Canada Research Chair (II) on Youth Suicide Prevention and receives fundings from numerous public and private funding organisations including a FRQ-SC research team.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Massimiliano Orri receives funding from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Fonds de Recherche du Québec, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the Helsefonden, the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation, and the MQ Foundation. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Bassam Khoury and Naomie Gendron do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>The focus of suicide prevention is shifting toward protective factors: characteristics that make it less likely that individuals will consider, attempt or die by suicide.Naomie Gendron, Medical Student, McGill UniversityBassam Khoury, Associate Professor, Department of Educational and Counselling Psychology, McGill UniversityMarie-Claude Geoffroy, Assistant Professor, Department of Educational and Counselling Psychology and Canada Research Chair in Youth Suicide Prevention, McGill UniversityMassimiliano Orri, Assistant Professor, McGill Group for Suicide Studies, Department of Psychiatry, Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences, McGill UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1973262023-02-21T06:10:49Z2023-02-21T06:10:49ZFour habits of happy people – as recommended by a psychologist<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509005/original/file-20230208-27-3jttof.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=98%2C8%2C5037%2C3604&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Happy habits = happy people.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-spaghetti-strap-top-posing-for-photo-944762/">Pexels/Godisable jacob</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>What makes you happy? Maybe it’s getting up early to see the sunrise, hanging out with family and friends on a weekend, or going for a dip in the sea. But what does science say about the things happy people do?</p>
<p>We know that <a href="http://ghwbpr-2019.s3.amazonaws.com/UAE/GH19_Ch6.pdf">happy people</a> tend to have strong relationships, good physical health and contribute regularly to their communities. </p>
<p>I have experimented over the past seven years with a number of happiness and wellbeing interventions in a bid to improve my own mental health and to understand how to best help others. Some strategies have stuck while others haven’t worked for me. But here’s what I’ve learnt along the way. </p>
<p>The reality is that there’ll be times we manage to engage with happiness habits and feel positive. Then there’ll be occasions when life throws a curve ball and our happiness is affected. But the good news is that we can all improve our levels of happiness with daily practice. </p>
<h2>1. Move your body</h2>
<p>My body needs to move regularly throughout the day. Sitting for long periods of time does not make my body or mind happy. At the very least I will walk briskly for an hour every day. I also like to swim, dance and do yoga. </p>
<p>Regular physical activity and exercise are high on the list for happiness as studies consistently demonstrate a link between being <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-018-9976-0?platform=hootsuite&error=cookies_not_supported&code=a592bab8-77e7-45db-8299-6661718e8da4">physically active</a> and increased subjective wellbeing, aka happiness.</p>
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<img alt="Woman stretching" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/508999/original/file-20230208-19-ec6nuj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Prioritise exercise, your body (and brain) will thank you for it.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-stretching-on-ground-3076509/">Pexels/Jonathan Borba</a></span>
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<p>Research shows that walking for 30 minutes a day can improve your health. But <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/17/13/4817/htm">studies on happiness</a> show that people benefit more when they engage in moderate and high-intensity exercise, which increases the heart rate. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-guidelines/physical-activity-guidelines-for-adults-aged-19-to-64/">Moderate exercise</a> is anything that makes you slightly out of breath – you can still talk but probably couldn’t sing a song. </p>
<h2>2. Prioritise connection</h2>
<p>The most recent <a href="http://ghwbpr-2019.s3.amazonaws.com/UAE/GH19_Ch6.pdf">happiness research</a> shows that our social connections are important in terms of overall <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797619898826?journalCode=pssa">wellbeing and life satisfaction</a>. Indeed, making time to talk, listen, share and have fun with friends and family is a habit I try to prioritise. </p>
<p>But a recent study has found that we generally engage more with friends and family when we feel unhappy and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0956797619849666?casa_token=zHOv_GeDvXkAAAAA:h-vgfibn2aME4gV0QakcXFN0_Oa5xns5X6ZGG9IhrsriAjGmqHEkxOQ9PwZCNqatYFxZvs4z8A">less so when we are happy</a>. This may be because we naturally seek out comfort and support to feel happier and pursue other activities when our happiness is stable. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Group of people laughing" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=423&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=423&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=423&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=532&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=532&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509001/original/file-20230208-15-9j5bzp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=532&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Look after your friendships and they’ll look after you.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/men-s-white-button-up-dress-shirt-708440/">Pexels/Helena Lopes</a></span>
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<p>It seems to come down to a question of balance, too much time alone can lead to negative emotions and so seeking out others is a natural way to alleviate this and boost our mood. </p>
<p>On the flip side when we feel positive and happier we are more inclined to support others and provide a shoulder to cry on. Nonetheless spending time in the company of friends and family provides both <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0956797619849666?casa_token=zHOv_GeDvXkAAAAA:h-vgfibn2aME4gV0QakcXFN0_Oa5xns5X6ZGG9IhrsriAjGmqHEkxOQ9PwZCNqatYFxZvs4z8A">short-term and long-term happiness gains</a>.</p>
<h2>3. Practice gratitude</h2>
<p>Our outlook on life and how we evaluate things also plays a huge part in our happiness levels. Studies have found that having a more <a href="https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdf?_ga=2.245695623.2060952378.1676481192-1952323121.1676481192">optimistic mindset</a> and practising a sense of gratitude can buffer against negative emotions and increase happiness.</p>
<p>Practising daily gratitude, such as counting my blessings or listing things throughout the day I am grateful for, helps me think more positively and feel happier. You can do this in a number of ways, for example, a daily gratitude journal, which can be handwritten or kept on your phone. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.ucl.ac.uk/human-resources/health-wellbeing/being-well-ucl/three-good-things#:%7E:text=Three%20Good%20Things%20is%20a,to%20them%20during%20the%20day.">The three good things intervention</a> is a quick and easy habit to <a href="https://baycrest.echoontario.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Positive-Psychology-Progress-Empirical-Validation-of-Interventions.pdf">adopt for increasing optimism</a>. You simply write down three things that went well every day and reflect on what was good about these. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Thank you sign." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509002/original/file-20230208-13-wxql12.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Give thanks, it might just lead to a happier life.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/light-sign-typography-lighting-519/">Pexels/Gratisography</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>There are many apps now that can prompt you and keep track of your gratitude. Other apps allow you to create vision boards and positive affirmations for your days. Although some may seem gimmicky it’s all about that gentle nudging towards positivity, <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier">which the science supports</a>. Or in other words, practising and cultivating an attitude of gratitude and appreciation generally works, and helps you to feel more positive about your life. Gratitude also helps you to see the bigger picture and become more resilient in the face of adversity.</p>
<p>You can also practice gratitude more naturally by giving thanks – telling someone what you are grateful for that day or sending thank-you messages. Indeed, it might sound trite but this is important as <a href="https://www.umgc.edu/blog/the-science-of-gratitude">research</a> shows daily feelings of gratitude are associated with higher levels of positive emotions and better <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/17439760.2019.1651888?casa_token=BgnPI1MYoM4AAAAA:HqFldsOEsSQ7sb35iz9R3sGXiwItSEJGCW69yuw3-nbIty80lMCWkmUEdZ4y4JpIkntvj8zTcw">social wellbeing</a>.</p>
<h2>4. Spending time with pets helps too</h2>
<p>My pets are part and parcel of our family routine and also support me in my daily happiness. I find going for walks easier to do because of my dogs. Research shows that dogs motivate their human companions to be more active and in turn, both dog and human have a shared pleasurable experience that <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/14/8/936">boosts their happiness</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="Man and woman with dog on sofa." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/509003/original/file-20230208-15-4yg7gq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Pets are the best.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-holding-her-pet-dog-4560123/">Pexels/leeloo thefirst</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>I also enjoy sitting with my cats while drinking tea and reading a book. Studies have found that family pets provide many benefits towards health and happiness, as they not only provide companionship but also reduce incidents of depression and anxiety while helping to boost our <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08927936.2020.1694313?casa_token=lcDeGjXwQW0AAAAA:s06pG_CePTZI1S0l4r95TXNxSKd66Ps_Ayff-mf4T5DOJfNmVTTYn3wj9OwStqLPT98iDDtmqw">happiness and self-esteem levels</a>.</p>
<p>The main ingredients for happiness and what the research boils down to are social connections and activity – of both the mind and body. And finding a flow to life through our daily habits and intentions can lead to happier, more fulfilling lives.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/197326/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Lowri Dowthwaite-Walsh does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>The good news is that we can all improve our happiness levels with daily practice.Lowri Dowthwaite-Walsh, Senior Lecturer in Psychological Interventions, University of Central LancashireLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1943282022-11-21T19:42:57Z2022-11-21T19:42:57ZThanksgiving hymns are a few centuries old, tops – but biblical psalms of gratitude and praise go back thousands of years<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/496538/original/file-20221121-12-ld2g15.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C1022%2C668&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">King David playing the lyre in a scene from a 15th-century manuscript of the Book of Psalms.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/king-david-playing-the-lyre-scene-from-the-book-of-psalms-news-photo/804439580?phrase=psalter&adppopup=true">Historica Graphica Collection/Heritage Images/Hulton Archive via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Thanksgiving doesn’t ring in the ear for months on end, unlike another holiday that lies just ahead. Yet readers may remember a couple of hymns that roll around each November in church, around the dinner table, or even – for readers of a certain age – in school. One I remember well is “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3n7IUCdqAM">Come, Ye Thankful People, Come</a>.” Then there’s “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmR1JszAM1E">We Gather Together</a>,” or “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha628Pj_Rns">We Plough the Fields and Scatter</a>.”</p>
<p>Interestingly, for songs associated with a distinctly American holiday, none have American origins. “Come, Ye Thankful People” was written by Henry Alford, a 19th-century English cleric who ascended to become dean of <a href="https://whc.unesco.org/en/list/496/">Canterbury Cathedral</a> and supposedly <a href="https://archive.org/details/101morehymnstori0000osbe/page/66/mode/2up">rose to his feet to give thanks after every meal and at the close of every day</a>. “<a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB113234570513601660">We Gather Together</a>” is much older, written in 1597 to celebrate the Dutch victory over the Spanish in the Battle of Turnhout. “<a href="https://hymnary.org/text/we_plow_the_fields_and_scatter">We Plough the Fields</a>” was written by a German Lutheran in 1782.</p>
<p>As someone <a href="https://people.cal.msu.edu/stowed/">who studies</a> <a href="https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674012905">American culture and religious music</a>, I’m interested in the backstory of the songs that we have come to take for granted. Someone wandering into a church and picking up a hymnal will likely find a handful of hymns filed under “thanksgiving,” but many more express a general sense of gratitude, such as “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s99dNPKYtHk">Now Thank We All Our God</a>” and “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asU005-nnDI">For the Beauty of the Earth</a>.” Even more hymns fall under the related category of praise – after all, a common response to feeling blessed or rescued is to offer praise to the higher being thought to bestow those gifts.</p>
<p>None of these impulses are uniquely Christian, or even religious. But hymns of praise and gratitude have been central to Jewish and Christian worship for millennia. In fact, they go back to one of the best-known scenes in the Hebrew Bible. </p>
<h2>Fleeing Pharaoh</h2>
<p>The earliest musical performance mentioned in the Hebrew Bible is “The Song of the Sea,” referring to two songs Moses and his sister Miriam sing to celebrate the Israelites’ escape from Egypt. As Pharaoh’s army pursues the fleeing slaves to the edge of the Red Sea, God opens a dry path for them before closing up the sea to swallow the soldiers, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=exodus+15&version=NIV">according to the Book of Exodus</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Then Miriam the prophet, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women followed her, with timbrels and dancing. Miriam sang to them: ‘Sing to the Lord, for he is highly exalted. Both horse and driver he has hurled into the sea.’</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Jewish singer <a href="https://jweekly.com/2011/01/14/as-we-sing-miriams-song-we-remember-her-protege-debbie-friedman/">Debbie Friedman</a>, who died in 2011, wrote “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZdSEsZ8bMo">Miriam’s Song</a>,” adapting these lines from Exodus into a modern favorite.</p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="A page from an old Book of Psalms shows a woman in a red dress dancing next to a group of people emerging from water." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=863&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=863&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=863&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1084&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1084&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496046/original/file-20221118-19-3253yr.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1084&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">‘The Chludov Psalter,’ a book of psalms, shows ‘The Song Of Moses and Miriam,’ from around A.D. 850. Found in the Collection of State History Museum, Moscow.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/the-chludov-psalter-the-song-of-moses-and-miriam-ca-850-news-photo/959928552?phrase=miriam%20exodus&adppopup=true">Fine Art Images/Heritage Images/Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Temple worship</h2>
<p><a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/song-of-exile-9780190466831?cc=us&lang=en&">One research project</a> took me deep into the world of the Hebrew Psalms, which originally were sung mainly during rituals at the temple in Jerusalem. Scholars have speculated for centuries over the <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/the-oxford-bible-commentary-9780199277186?cc=us&lang=en&">composition and sequencing of these Hebrew poems</a> that form one book of the Bible. The 150 psalms include a great many laments, expressions of praise and gratitude, and quite a few texts that combine both. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Hermann-Gunkel">Hermann Gunkel</a>, a pioneering Bible scholar at the turn of the 20th century, <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/39458847">developed a system</a> of classifying the texts in the Book of Psalms by genre, which experts still use today. What Gunkel called “Thanksgiving” psalms are texts that celebrate God’s actions to bestow blessings and alleviate affliction in particular times and places: <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+30&version=KJV">healing from a serious illness</a>, for example. Gunkel’s categories also include psalms that refer to gratitude for more general divine actions: creating the cosmos and the wonders of the natural world, or protecting the ancient Israelites from foreign enemies. </p>
<p>It’s hard to find a text more brimming with gratitude than <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+65&version=NIV">Psalm 65</a>, which includes verses very suitable for Thanksgiving Day:</p>
<pre class="highlight plaintext"><code> The streams of God are filled with water
to provide the people with grain,
for so you have ordained it.
You drench its furrows and level its ridges;
you soften it with showers and bless its crops.
You crown the year with your bounty,
and your carts overflow with abundance.
</code></pre>
<h2>A new idea: Songs about Jesus</h2>
<p>Though the original tunes of the psalms have been long lost, their words are still a mainstay of religious singing for both Jews and Christians. </p>
<p>Their key role in Protestant churches today owes partly to <a href="https://wwnorton.com/college/music/concise-history-western-music4/ch/08/outline.aspx">the Reformation of the 16th century</a>. During the Renaissance, Catholics had developed more ornate musical forms for the Mass, including the use of <a href="https://hellomusictheory.com/learn/polyphonic-texture/">polyphony</a>: songs with two or more simultaneous interwoven melodies. Protestants, on the other hand, decided that unadorned psalms, put into standard musical meters that matched existing tunes, were optimal for church.</p>
<p>Reformation leader <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-lasting-impact-of-luthers-reformation-4-essential-reads-105953">Martin Luther</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/luthers-musical-legacy-is-the-reformations-unsung-achievement-85197">loved music</a> and wrote his own hymns with original words that are still popular today, such as “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y6VN_g7RXQ">A Mighty Fortress is Our God</a>.” As far as the more austere reformer John Calvin was concerned, however, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/019827002X.001.0001">the plainer the better</a>. Unharmonized a cappella psalm singing was plenty good for the sabbath, he insisted.</p>
<p>Calvin’s judgment carried the day in New England, which was settled largely by Puritan Calvinists. In fact, the first book published in North America was “<a href="https://loc.gov/exhibits/bay-psalm-book-and-american-printing/online-exhibition.html">The Bay Psalm Book</a>,” in 1640. It took a century for hymns with new words to start finding acceptance in churches, and even longer for organs to make an appearance there.</p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="A black and white illustration shows a woman helping four children sing from hymnals." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=431&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=431&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=431&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=541&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=541&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/496047/original/file-20221118-15-cu6ivd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=541&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">An illustration from an 1866 edition of hymn writer Isaac Watts’ ‘Divine and Moral Songs for Children.’</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/isaac-watts-woodcut-from-watts-s-divine-and-moral-songs-for-news-photo/1430999703?phrase=%22isaac%20watts%22&adppopup=true">Bridgeman/Culture Club/Hulton Archive via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Gradually these restrictions began to soften, even in New England. During the 1700s, hymns began to compete with psalms in popularity. The key innovator was <a href="https://hymnary.org/person/Watts_Isaac">Isaac Watts</a>, a talented poet who wondered why Christians couldn’t sing worship songs that referenced Jesus Christ – since the Book of Psalms, written before his birth, did not. John and Charles Wesley, founders of Methodism, were also inveterate <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/439039">hymn writers</a>.</p>
<h2>Praise yesterday and today</h2>
<p>To modern ears, the difference between psalms and hymns is barely perceptible. Hymns often draw heavily on the images and tropes of the psalms. Even a simple-sounding Thanksgiving hymn like “We Gather Together” contains no fewer than <a href="https://hymnary.org/text/we_gather_together_to_ask_the_lords">11 allusions to particular psalms</a>.</p>
<p>Watts, the Wesley brothers and several other hymn writers were part of movements that helped birth <a href="https://www.nae.org/what-is-an-evangelical/">modern evangelical Christianity</a>. Some of the most famous hymns of thanksgiving and praise have been popularized by evangelical revivals over the centuries: “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAPTcSUC7Cw">Amazing Grace</a>,” by an 18th-century English curate, and “<a href="https://billygraham.org/video/george-beverly-shea-sings-how-great-thou-art/">How Great Thou Art</a>,” the theme song of world-famous preacher Billy Graham’s revivals.</p>
<p>Over the past 30 years, the booming genre of <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/singing-the-congregation-9780190499648?cc=us&lang=en&">contemporary worship music</a>, often referred to simply as praise music, has become the standard heard in megachurches and other evangelical congregations across the world. Not surprisingly, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUH_NzfRmbs&t=83s">praise and gratitude</a> are inescapable themes in this genre – whether or not they evoke a Thanksgiving feast.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/194328/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>David W. Stowe does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Gratitude and praise are not only some of the most common themes in Christian music, but also some of the oldest.David W. Stowe, Professor of Religious Studies, Michigan State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1866232022-09-06T12:37:48Z2022-09-06T12:37:48ZPurpose and gratitude boost academic engagement<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/480130/original/file-20220819-3730-qjuiuo.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=50%2C10%2C6659%2C4456&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Students who are career-driven tend to do better academically.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/young-female-student-studying-in-classroom-royalty-free-image/1339976961?adppopup=true">Morsa Images via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p><em>The <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/research-brief-83231">Research Brief</a> is a short take about interesting academic work.</em> </p>
<h2>The big idea</h2>
<p>When it comes to academic success for college students, having a sense of purpose and gratitude makes a significant difference. That’s what I found in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/15210251221100415">peer-reviewed study</a> published in June 2022 in the Journal of College Student Retention: Research, Theory & Practice.</p>
<p>For the study, I analyzed answers provided by 295 undergraduates to questions about whether they did better academically if they had a sense of purpose and gratitude during the COVID-19 pandemic. </p>
<p>I wondered if students were more likely to be academically engaged – and less likely to suffer academic burnout – if they had a strong sense of purpose. I specifically asked about three types of purpose: self-growth, others-growth and career-focused purpose orientations. I also wanted to know if being grateful for positive experiences made a difference.</p>
<p>I defined academic engagement as a motivational mindset that is characterized by students’ enthusiasm for school-related activities. I also looked at three types of academic burnout: devaluation of schoolwork, reduced sense of accomplishment and mental exhaustion. </p>
<p>I found that only one type of purpose was directly relevant to engagement and burnout - career-focused purpose. When undergraduate students connect their life purpose with career aspirations, they tend to be engaged in their academic studies. They are also less likely to devalue their schoolwork or feel unaccomplished in their studies.</p>
<p>I also found that gratitude was just as important. These findings suggest that the more grateful undergraduate students feel, the more they are engaged in their academic work and the more they feel accomplished and value schoolwork. </p>
<h2>Why it matters</h2>
<p>This study adds to a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11482-019-09729-w">growing body</a> of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10775-021-09517-9">research</a> that suggests having a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1353/csd.2018.0045">deep sense</a> of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/15210251221076828">life purpose</a> is important for people’s <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/1612197X.2022.2116469">well-being</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0894845320946398">success</a> and ability to cope with challenging life situations. </p>
<p>My study suggests that university advisers and faculty should recognize the role that sense of purpose plays for student success. They should also engage in practices that foster students’ sense of life purpose. For example, faculty members can use assignments to encourage students to reflect on their life purpose and connect it with their future career aspirations.</p>
<p>Fostering gratitude is also important. This is because gratitude is also associated with greater academic engagement and less burnout among undergraduate students. My study also suggests that it benefits students if they are given opportunities to reflect on things in life for which they are grateful. Such opportunities can be incorporated into first-year experience courses or incoming student orientations. </p>
<h2>What still isn’t known</h2>
<p>Since this study was conducted when participants had few, if any, opportunities to help others due to COVID19 restrictions, I wonder if others-growth and self-growth types of purpose will be more relevant to academic success once these restrictions are eased.</p>
<p>I also wonder whether classroom activities aimed at connecting life purpose with students’ future careers will lead to higher graduation rates.</p>
<h2>What’s next?</h2>
<p>As part of <a href="https://www.calstate.edu/csu-system/why-the-csu-matters/graduation-initiative-2025/What-Is-Graduation-Initiative-2025">Graduation Initiative 2025</a> – an initiative is meant to increase graduation rates and close gaps in the rates of graduation between different groups – my colleague <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=MeQjuuzQqhIC&hl=en&oi=ao">Gitima Sharma</a> and I created an undergraduate course, titled “Fostering Sense of Purpose.” Our preliminary data showed that students who took this course in spring of 2022 reported a strengthened sense of life purpose. We plan to continue to examine how effective the course is at fostering sense of purpose in life. We also plan to look at whether the course leads to lasting positive effects for students’ academic and career success, such as higher graduation rates.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/186623/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Mariya Yukhymenko does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>College students who are focused on career goals and personal growth – and growth for others – tend to fare better academically, new research finds.Mariya Yukhymenko, Associate Professor of Research and Statistics, California State University, FresnoLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1850122022-07-26T11:59:25Z2022-07-26T11:59:25ZFeeling connected enhances mental and physical health – here are 4 research-backed ways to find moments of connection with loved ones and strangers<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475479/original/file-20220721-1419-s9bw48.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C0%2C5370%2C3604&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Connecting can mean sharing a hearty laugh.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/close-up-of-happy-young-females-standing-outdoors-royalty-free-image/1193052039">Klaus Vedfelt/DigitalVision via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>A woman and her fiancé joke and laugh together while playing video games after a long day.</p>
<p>A college freshman interrupts verbal harassment aimed at a neighbor, who expresses gratitude as they walk home together.</p>
<p>A man receives a phone call to confirm an appointment, and stumbles into a deep and personal conversation about racism in America with the stranger on the other end of the line.</p>
<p>Each of these scenarios was recalled by a research participant as a moment of meaningful human connection. One’s sense of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497">belonging</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000129">emotional safety</a> with family, friends and communities is built through actual interactions. As these examples suggest, these connections can come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Often small and fleeting and sometimes powerfully memorable, moments of connection occur with loved ones and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000281">strangers</a>, in person and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F2056305120942888">online</a>.</p>
<p>I spent the past several years exploring moments of connection as a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=50JpQTIAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">graduate student in psychology</a>, with a particular eye toward how people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F02654075211040221">experienced meaningful connection during the pandemic</a>. It’s not just a little bonus to forge these connections; they have real benefits.</p>
<p>Feeling well connected to others contributes to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691615570616">mental health</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-072420-122921">meaning in life</a>, and even <a href="https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-publhealth-052020-110732">physical well-being</a>. When loneliness or isolation becomes chronic, human <a href="https://theconversation.com/socially-isolated-people-have-differently-wired-brains-and-poorer-cognition-new-research-185150">brains</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0963721421999630">bodies</a> suffer, straining a person’s long-term well-being at least as significantly as major health risks such as obesity and air pollution.</p>
<p>Researchers know what kinds of behavior enhance feelings of social connection. Here are four ways to connect.</p>
<h2>1. Heart-to-hearts</h2>
<p>For many people, the first thing that comes to mind when asked about meaningful connections are heart-to-heart conversations. These are key moments of <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1988-97881-020">emotional intimacy</a>. One person opens up about something personal, often emotional and vulnerable, and in return another person communicates understanding, acceptance and care – what researchers call <a href="http://www.doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195398694.013.0018">responsiveness</a>.</p>
<p>For example, I could open up to you about my current experience of becoming a new father, sharing complex and precious sentiments that I would not disclose to just anyone. If I perceive in that moment that you really “get” what I reveal to you, that you accept my feelings as valid, whether or not you can relate to them, and that I matter to you, then I’ll probably feel a sense of closeness and trust.</p>
<p>In emotionally intimate moments, personal sharing is often reciprocal, though a sense of connection can arise <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1238">whether you are the one opening up or offering responsiveness</a>.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="man holds ladder while woman works on ceiling fixture" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475476/original/file-20220721-14484-uiri9t.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Lending a hand can be one way to build a connection.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/woman-renovating-home-with-father-royalty-free-image/1268388388">Klaus Vedfelt/DigitalVision via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>2. Giving and receiving help</h2>
<p>A key way that people bond is by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195342819.013.0009">giving and receiving support</a>. There are two kinds of social support that often figure in moments of connection. Instrumental support is tangibly helping with the practicalities of a solution. For example, if you bring me groceries when I’m under the weather, we would be bonding through instrumental support.</p>
<p>Emotional support is nurturing another’s feelings. If you dropped by to give me a hug when I’m stressed out, this would be emotional support.</p>
<p>Either way, your actions are responsive: You understand my situation and by taking action you show that you care.</p>
<p>While it’s perhaps no surprise that you might feel connected when someone offers you responsive kindness, it works in the other direction too. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0963721416686212">Supporting others</a> builds that feeling of connection, especially if you sincerely want to help and feel your aid is useful.</p>
<p>To be effective, though, you need to be responding to another person’s needs rather than your own idea of what they need. Sometimes this means offering emotional support to help another person calm down so they can tackle their own problem, despite your own desire to jump in and solve the issue for them.</p>
<h2>3. Positive vibes</h2>
<p>Vulnerability and support are no joke, but meaningful interactions need not be somber. Research shows that people gain a sense of connection by <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cobeha.2021.02.002">experiencing positive emotions together</a>. And this sense of connection is not only in your mind. When two people share this kind of good vibe, their bodies coordinate too. They synchronize, with simultaneous gestures and facial expressions, and even biomarkers such as heart rate and hormones shifting in similar patterns.</p>
<p>Human beings rely on these positive, synchronous moments as a basic connecting force beginning in infancy, and people continue to seek out synchronous interactions throughout life. Think of enjoyable activities like <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1098/rsos.150221">singing</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2016.02.004">dancing</a> together – they’re embodied forms of connection that actually release endorphins that help you feel bonded. Same goes for <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0256229">laughing together</a>, which comes with the bonus that a shared sense of humor suggests a <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000266">similar sense of reality</a>, which enhances connection.</p>
<p>When someone tells you about a positive event in their life, a reliable way to enhance bonds is to sincerely and enthusiastically <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(10)42004-3">respond to their good news</a>: celebrating, congratulating, saying “I’m so happy for you.”</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="two men embrace" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/475477/original/file-20220721-10497-9cgmaa.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Affection and gratitude can be expressed through words or actions.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/two-men-hugging-royalty-free-image/1208881914">Sarah Mason/DigitalVision via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>4. Affirming expressions</h2>
<p>Those moments when you let people know how much you appreciate, like or love them can be brief but powerful. Expressing and receiving <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/01463370500101071">affection</a> and <a href="https://www.doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2012.00439.x">gratitude</a> are especially well-researched means of bonding. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/01463373.2021.1951794">Outright manifestations of affection</a> can come in the form of direct verbal declarations, like saying “I love you,” or physical expressions, like holding hands.</p>
<h2>Imprecision and imperfection</h2>
<p>Attempts at connection can be complicated by two people’s individual perceptions and preferences.</p>
<p>Humans aren’t mind readers. Anyone’s sense of what others think and feel is at best <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12194">moderately accurate</a>. To feel connected, it’s not enough that I genuinely understand you or care for you, for example. If you don’t perceive me as understanding or caring as we interact, you likely won’t walk away feeling connected. This is especially an issue when you’re lonely, because loneliness can lead you to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F1088868310377394">view your interactions in a more negative way</a>.</p>
<p>Each person also has different preferences for ways of connecting that more reliably help them to feel bonded. Some people love to talk about their feelings, for example, and may gravitate toward emotional intimacy. Others may open up only with those they deeply trust, but love to connect more widely through humor.</p>
<p>Of course, not all interactions need to be meaningful moments of connection. Even well-bonded infants and caregivers, in that most vital of relationships, are in an observable connected state <a href="https://doi.org/10.2307/1131074">only 30% of the time</a>.</p>
<p>Moments of connection also need not be extravagant or extraordinary. Simply <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-49425-8_183">turning your attention to others when they want to connect</a> yields great relationship benefits.</p>
<p>Gaining insight into various ways of connection may allow you to practice new ways to engage with others. It may also help you simply pay attention to where these moments already exist in daily life: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pst0000284">Savoring moments when you feel close</a> to others – or even just <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001103">recalling such events</a> – can enhance that sense of connection.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185012/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Dave Smallen does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Psychology researchers know what kinds of behavior enhance feelings of social connection.Dave Smallen, Community Faculty in Psychology, Metropolitan State University Licensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1704322021-11-17T13:17:45Z2021-11-17T13:17:45ZWhat Americans can learn from other cultures about the language of gratitude<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432257/original/file-20211116-19-973x0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C10%2C6709%2C4456&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">A family holds hands and prays before a Thanksgiving meal.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/religious-black-family-saying-grace-before-royalty-free-image/1176300326?adppopup=true"> skynesher/E+ via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Families and friends traditionally gather to express gratitude during this time of year. Many also participate in acts of <a href="https://time.com/4580221/thanksgiving-holiday-charity/">service and charity</a> as a way of giving back to their local communities. </p>
<p>As <a href="https://cas.la.psu.edu/people/jde13">communication scholars</a> <a href="https://www.ou.edu/cas/comm/about/people/faculty/elaine-hsieh">who study intercultural communication</a>, we have studied how the many languages around the world have their own unique words and expressions for saying “thank you.” In turn, these expressions reveal <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-us/Rethinking+Culture+in+Health+Communication%3A+Social+Interactions+as+Intercultural+Encounters-p-9781119496106">very different assumptions about how human beings relate to one another</a> and <a href="https://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">about the world</a> we collectively inhabit. </p>
<h2>Not everyone says thank you</h2>
<p>Americans are known the world over for saying “thank you” <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_cultural_differences_shape_your_gratitude">in many everyday situations</a>. Though some of these “thank yous” are undoubtedly heartfelt, many are also routine and said without much feeling. Given how often Americans say “thanks,” it might be surprising to know that in several other cultures around the world, people rarely say “thank you.”</p>
<p>In many cultures in South and Southeast Asia, including in India, where the expression in Hindi is “धन्यवाद” – spelled out as “dhanyavaad” in English – a deep degree of unspoken gratitude is assumed in interpersonal relationships. </p>
<p>In <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/06/thank-you-culture-india-america/395069/">an article</a> in The Atlantic, author Deepak Singh, an immigrant from northern India to the United States, explains that “in the Hindi language, in everyday gestures and culture, there is an unspoken understanding of gratitude.” </p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="A Sikh man folding hands in a namaste before another man." src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/432259/original/file-20211116-25-1w63jep.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">In Indian culture, saying thank you can often be considered inappropriate and too formal.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/real-estate-agent-with-client-at-village-stock-royalty-free-image/1281563029?adppopup=true">Deepak Sethi/E+ via Getty Images</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In many relationships – for instance, between parents and children or between close friends – saying thank you is considered <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/06/thank-you-culture-india-america/395069/">inappropriate</a> in these countries because it introduces a sense of formality that takes away the intimacy of the relationship. Thank you is appropriate when it is deeply and truly felt, and in situations where a person goes above and beyond the normal expectations of a relationship. Then too it is said with great solemnity, with eye contact, and perhaps even with hands at heart center in <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-namaste-has-become-the-perfect-pandemic-greeting-147149">namaste</a> position.</p>
<h2>The economic rhetoric of gratitude</h2>
<p>In American English, many of the expressions of gratitude are couched in transactional language that involves expressions of <a href="https://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">personal indebtedness</a>. We say, “I owe you a debt of gratitude,” “Thanks, I owe you one,” “One good turn deserves another,” and “How can I ever repay you?” </p>
<p>Thinking of gratitude as a kind of transaction can indeed encourage people to form <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_helps_your_friendships_grow">mutually beneficial relationships</a>. But it can also lead people to see their personal and impersonal relationships in <a href="https://theconversation.com/this-new-year-rethinking-gratitude-88227">economic terms</a> – as <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/apr/15/neoliberalism-ideology-problem-george-monbiot">transactions</a> to be judged by market criteria of gain and loss. </p>
<p>The American language of gratitude tends to reflect the fact that many of us might see relationships as interpersonal transactions. But if we were to enter into relationships only on the premise of what benefits us personally, and potentially materially, then it can be very limiting. </p>
<p>This is why, we argue, it can be enlightening to look at other languages of gratitude. </p>
<h2>Thanking earth, sky and community</h2>
<p>Many Chinese people, for example, use the phrase “謝天,” or “xiè tiān,” which literally means “thank sky” as a way to express gratitude to all things under the sky. In a famous essay included in many high school textbooks called “<a href="https://www.bookzone.com.tw/event/lc040/booklist.asp">Xiè Tiān</a>,” writer <a href="https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%99%B3%E4%B9%8B%E8%97%A9">Zhifan Chen</a> noted, “Because there are too many people that we feel grateful to, let’s thank sky then.” The writer redirects individuals’ gratitude toward an all-encompassing universe, one that includes all things and all beings. </p>
<p>In Taiwanese, people say “<a href="https://taiwanlanguage.wordpress.com/2011/11/29/%E8%B6%B3%E6%84%9F%E5%BF%83%EF%BC%88tsi%C9%94k-kam%CB%8B-sim%EF%BC%89%E2%94%80%E2%94%80%E9%9D%9E%E5%B8%B8%E4%BB%A4%E4%BA%BA%E6%84%9F%E5%8B%95%E3%80%81%E8%AE%9A%E5%98%86%E3%80%81%E6%AC%BD%E4%BD%A9/">感心</a>,” or “kám-sim,” which means “feel heart,” to express gratitude. In complimenting a good deed, the word is also meant to highlight how people who witness the act but do not directly benefit from it are touched by the benevolence. It encourages people to recognize that the impact of good deeds is not limited to its direct recipients but to other members of the community as well. </p>
<p>[<em>More than 140,000 readers get one of The Conversation’s informative newsletters.</em> <a href="https://memberservices.theconversation.com/newsletters/?source=inline-140K">Join the list today</a>.]</p>
<p>To say “kám-sim” is to recognize that our actions have effects that ripple outward, potentially strengthening and solidifying the social fabric, which ultimately benefits us all. </p>
<p>Every time we express gratitude, we invoke a social world. Often, we invoke a world without realizing its full force. For instance, when we use a language of gratitude characterized by economic metaphors, it can shape our view of the world and our social relationships, encouraging us to see <a href="https://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">life itself as a series of transactions</a>. Being more conscious about our linguistic conventions and the potentials of our choices can empower us to create a world we really desire. </p>
<p>Learning from <a href="https://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">other languages of gratitude</a>, perhaps we can make our “thank you” less casual and more heartfelt.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/170432/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Cultures around the world say ‘thank yous’ in many different ways. Two communication scholars explain what these expressions can reveal to us.Jeremy David Engels, Professor of Communication Arts and Sciences, Penn StateElaine Hsieh, Professor, Communication, University of OklahomaLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1568402021-04-07T16:24:04Z2021-04-07T16:24:04ZHow gratitude for nature can rein in your existential angst about climate change<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/393477/original/file-20210406-21-px5jji.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=105%2C105%2C5021%2C3485&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">We unthinkingly defend a consumerist worldview when confronted with evidence of environmental threats such as climate change</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>We’re all going to die. This is the <a href="https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/13/18660548/climate-change-human-civilization-existential-risk">repeated warning about climate change in some media</a>: if we don’t change our ways we face an existential threat.</p>
<p>So why haven’t we got a policy solution in place? Reducing emissions is in our best interest, but despite widespread <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/science/2020/06/23/two-thirds-of-americans-think-government-should-do-more-on-climate/">popular support for government action</a>, implementing policies and programs continues to be difficult. Social science research shows that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1539-6924.2008.01010.x">the more we hear about climate change, the less inclined we are to take action</a>.</p>
<p>Talking about climate change reminds us that we are going to die, and that our modern way of life is killing our environment. Research in social psychology shows that <a href="http://www.ecologyandsociety.org/vol14/iss1/art34/">hearing about climate change often prompts people to go out and buy more stuff</a>. </p>
<p>However, participating in rituals that inspire gratitude for nature can reduce <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-red-pill-or-the-blue-pill-endless-consumption-or-sustainable-future-110473">the desire to over-consume — and thus reduce the greenhouse gas emissions that fuel climate change</a>. My research indicates that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1163/15685357-20211001">unconscious motivations and ritual practices may be more effective in shifting our behaviour than rational arguments</a> in the fight against climate change.</p>
<h2>The science is clear</h2>
<p>We have lots of data on climate change, and there is scientific consensus on its accuracy. The topic is constantly in the press, yet most governments have been unable to put effective policy solutions in place. The reason for this is fear.</p>
<p>Death awareness makes people want to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.106.4.835">defend the worldview their sense of self-worth is vested in</a>. Despite the fact that most people consciously endorse a scientific worldview and think that protecting the environment is important, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327663jcp1403_2">we unconsciously believe consumption produces happiness</a>. </p>
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<p>It is this consumerist worldview that we unthinkingly defend when confronted with evidence of environmental threats such as climate change. </p>
<h2>Motivations are tricky</h2>
<p>Science tells us about environmental problems, but it does not necessarily motivate us to do anything about them. Research in <a href="https://theconversation.com/nudge-novelty-has-worn-off-but-we-still-need-behavioural-economics-29514">behavioural economics</a> and social psychology demonstrates a variety of unconscious factors that continue to influence us no matter how educated we are, or rational we think ourselves to be. </p>
<p>When people feel threatened, they tend to double down on their existing views. This is sometimes referred to as the boomerang or <a href="https://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe_clean">backfire effect</a>, and it <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0956797610391911">contributes to climate change denial</a>. </p>
<p>Talking about climate change can be counterproductive to getting people to reduce emissions because providing more information only further convinces people that they are right. Threatening images and rhetoric can do more harm than good. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="a pile of amazon boxes next to a garbage can at the curb" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393480/original/file-20210406-15-954eos.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">We unconsciously hold a consumerist worldview that equates consumption with happiness.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p>When climate change feels like too big a problem, we tend to shut down or blame others. Talking about it is overwhelming — it makes us feel guilty, afraid and apathetic. </p>
<p>One of the most common effects of making people aware of their mortality is the scapegoating of others. <a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-reminds-you-of-death-and-amplifies-your-core-values-both-bad-and-good-137588">Mortality awareness increases out group hostilities</a>. It instigates attempts to displace blame and increases polarization in society.</p>
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<p>We like to blame industry and corporations for climate change, but individual and household contributions have a substantial impact, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1021/es803496a">accounting for 72 per cent of global greenhouse gas emissions</a>, mostly from food and its production, heating and cooling homes and the fuel used by private vehicles. Our personal actions matter. </p>
<p>Former chief of staff of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency Michael Vandenbergh reports that <a href="https://scholarship.law.vanderbilt.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2033&context=faculty-publications">individuals are the largest remaining sources of climate change emissions</a>. Household emissions rise with increases in household income.</p>
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<a href="https://theconversation.com/5-charts-show-how-your-household-drives-up-global-greenhouse-gas-emissions-119968">5 charts show how your household drives up global greenhouse gas emissions</a>
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<h2>Strategic actions</h2>
<p>Raising awareness about climate change should not be an end in itself. Bringing the problem to mind is not necessarily helpful, and without a solution, it may do more harm than good.</p>
<p>Environmental protection is widely supported, but talking about climate change and global warming can be negative triggers that tune out the people we want to reach. Framing the message in terms of the shared values of the target audience is effective. </p>
<p>Research shows a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/wcc.566">range of possible responses to climate change messaging that arouses mortality awareness</a>. Threats make <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2008.04.007">environmentalists act in defence of their identity as environmentalists</a>, but campaigning against air pollution can be a more pragmatic strategy for motivating climate change deniers. To use the effects of death awareness to promote pro-environmental behaviour, we need to activate shared norms from which people’s sense of self-worth derives.</p>
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<img alt="cars drive along a highway in a city masked by smog" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=402&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=402&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=402&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=505&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=505&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/393484/original/file-20210406-13-j18hpt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=505&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">About 72 per cent of global greenhouse gas emissions are linked to individual and household actions, such as driving.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
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<p>We can use behavioural economics and other psychological effects to promote pro-environmental behaviour. These sort of psychological effects can nudge people toward better civic actions. </p>
<p>Implementing a “choice architecture” — the way choices are presented — that defaults to better environmental options makes people more likely to make pro-environmental decisions. The options available, and how they are presented, influence people’s actions. For example, <a href="https://www.cogitatiopress.com/urbanplanning/article/view/1296">walkable neighbourhoods reduce emissions by making walking and cycling pleasurable choices, while winding suburban streets and big parking lots prompt people to drive to more</a>. </p>
<p>When talking about environmental concerns, avoiding the use of economic language such as costs and drawing attention to gratitude can help keep environmental values top of mind instead of triggering the psychological effects that stimulate consumerism. </p>
<p>Expressing appreciation for what we have been given and publicly sharing our gratitude inspires a sense of contentment that makes people want to give in turn. Practices of praising ancestors (ancestor veneration) are surprisingly pro-environmental because they prompt people to want to pass on what they have been given rather than consume more themselves.</p>
<p>Raising awareness of these unconscious effects does not make them go away. We continue to be affected by these psychological effects even after learning about them, so we would do better to use them constructively.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/156840/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Barbara Jane Davy received funding from the Government of Ontario in the form of Ontario Graduate Scholarships in conducting research that informs this article. </span></em></p>Hearing about climate change prompts people to buy more stuff, which increases their environmental footprint. Rituals that inspire gratitude for nature can help reduce the desire to over-consume.Barbara Jane Davy, PhD candidate, environment, resources and sustainability, University of WaterlooLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1348872020-04-02T12:32:23Z2020-04-02T12:32:23ZExpress gratitude – not because you will benefit from it, but others might<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/324736/original/file-20200401-23121-xcfpto.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=13%2C6%2C1008%2C671&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">People take part in a 'applause for care' flash mob as part of a campaign to acknowledge the work of employees working in healthcare in Amsterdam.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/people-take-part-in-a-applause-for-care-flash-mob-as-part-news-photo/1207533738?adppopup=true">Olaf Kraak/ANP/AFP via Getty Images</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>The world is currently in the midst of a pandemic where the most useful thing many of us can do is <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/coronavirus-social-distancing-and-self-quarantine">stay at home and keep away from others</a>. <a href="https://en.unesco.org/themes/education-emergencies/coronavirus-school-closures">Schools</a>, <a href="https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/restaurant-bar-closures-us-coronavirus/index.html">restaurants</a>, <a href="https://www.npr.org/2020/03/16/816398498/america-closed-thousands-of-stores-resorts-theaters-shut-down">office buildings and movie theaters</a> are closed. Many people are feeling <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/489894-coronavirus-outbreak-raises-threats-to-mental-health">disoriented, disconnected and scared</a>.</p>
<p>At this time of <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/cases-in-us.html">soaring infection rates</a>, <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/hcp/healthcare-supply-ppe.html">shortages of medical supplies</a> and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/21/business/economy/coronavirus-recession.html">economic downturns</a>, there are also examples of people looking for ways to <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/03/27/coronavirus-new-jersey-mans-beautiful-sign-leaves-doctors-tears/2923917001/">express their gratitude</a> to those on the front lines of fighting the epidemic. In many European countries, for example, people are <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwPBYduYwqI">expressing gratitude</a> for the work of the medical staff by clapping from their balconies. Recently, this same practice has <a href="https://abc7news.com/society/quarantined-new-yorkers-clap-for-essential-workers-%7C-video/6058316/">migrated</a> to New York City.</p>
<p>As <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=N-B6Ga0AAAAJ&hl=en">psychology researchers</a>, we have been <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=ZQwFrXwAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">working</a> to study the connection between gratitude and well-being.</p>
<h2>Gratitude and well-being connection</h2>
<p>In 2013, psychologists <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Robert_Emmons">Robert Emmons</a> and <a href="http://ei.yale.edu/person/robin-stern-ph-d/">Robin Stern</a> <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.22020">explained gratitude</a> as both appreciating the good things in life and recognizing that they come from someone else.</p>
<p>There is a strong correlation between gratitude and well-being. Researchers have found that individuals who report feeling and expressing gratitude more report a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735810000450?via%3Dihub">greater</a> level of positive emotions such as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17439760.2018.1497684">happiness, optimism and joy</a>.</p>
<p>At the same time, they have a lower level of negative emotions such as anger, distress, <a href="https://www.sbp-journal.com/index.php/sbp/article/view/1266/0">depression</a> and shame. They also report a higher level of life satisfaction.</p>
<p>Furthermore, grateful individuals report a greater sense of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019188690800425X">purpose in life</a>, more <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-15380-004">forgiveness</a> and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-07152-006">better quality of relationships</a>, and they even seem to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19073292">sleep better</a>. </p>
<p>In short, grateful individuals seem to have more of the ingredients needed to thrive and flourish. </p>
<p>There are several plausible explanations for the apparent connection between gratitude and well-being. It may be that gratitude serves as a positive lens through which to view the world. </p>
<p>For example, grateful individuals may be inclined to see the good in people and situations, which may result in a more compassionate and less critical view of <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-09074-006">others and themselves</a>.</p>
<p>Grateful individuals may also be naturally prone to forming mutually supportive relationships. When someone expresses gratitude, the recipient is <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2008-06717-013">more likely to connect</a> with that person and to invest in that relationship in the future.</p>
<h2>Gratitude exercises have weak effects</h2>
<p>However, there is one important caveat to this research. It shows that gratitude is correlated with well-being, but it does not prove that expressing gratitude actually improves well-being. </p>
<p>Psychologists have conducted a number of experiments to see if giving thanks leads to greater well-being. For example, individuals may be asked to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2005-08033-003">perform gratitude exercises at home</a> and then report on their well-being afterward. These exercises include writing a thank-you letter or keeping a <a href="https://my.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-gratitude/">journal of things one is thankful for</a>.</p>
<p>Several <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-51749-001">review papers</a> over the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735810000450?via%3Dihub">past four years</a>, including <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-020-00236-6">our recent paper</a>, indicate that these gratitude exercises have fairly <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01973533.2017.1323638">weak effects</a> on well-being.</p>
<p>These review papers combine the findings from multiple different studies, which allows researchers to be more confident that the findings are consistent and can be trusted.</p>
<p>Researchers found that such gratitude exercises only increase happiness and life satisfaction a little bit. Similarly, the effect on symptoms of depression and anxiety was also small.</p>
<h2>Express gratitude to help others</h2>
<p>We are not suggesting that expressing gratitude has no value. Rather, we argue that gratitude should not be thought of as a self-help tool to increase one’s own happiness and well-being. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=17%2C3%2C387%2C258&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/324693/original/file-20200401-23130-1tezokl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Many people are serving at the front lines of the epidemic and expressing gratitude matters.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/female-volunteer-bringing-groceries-to-a-senior-royalty-free-image/1214126038?adppopup=true&uiloc=thumbnail_similar_images_adp">freemixer Collection: E+ via Getty Images</a></span>
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<p>Instead, gratitude may be most valuable as a way of honoring and acknowledging someone else. Indeed, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01273.x">researchers have found</a> that expressions of gratitude lead to improved relationships for both the one expressing gratitude and the recipient. The lead researcher of a 2010 study – psychologist <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=lt85A8IAAAAJ">Sara Algoe</a> – concluded that for romantic relationships, gratitude worked like a “booster shot.” </p>
<p>During this global pandemic, perhaps it is more important than ever to express gratitude to the important people in our lives – not just loved ones, but the countless public officials, health care professionals and others who are fighting on the front lines. </p>
<p>[<em>You’re too busy to read everything. We get it. That’s why we’ve got a weekly newsletter.</em> <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters/weekly-highlights-61?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=weeklybusy">Sign up for good Sunday reading.</a> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/134887/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jennifer Cheavens receives funding from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. She is also under contract with Cambridge University Press and receives compensation for editorial duties from John Wiley & Sons, Inc. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>David Cregg does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Gratitude has a strong connection to well-being, but more than that, two psychologists say, it could have a powerful effect on others. So, don’t hold back when it comes to expressing it.Jennifer Cheavens, Associate Professor of Psychology, The Ohio State UniversityDavid Cregg, Doctoral Candidate in Clinical Psychology, The Ohio State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1241682019-12-23T20:20:44Z2019-12-23T20:20:44ZBeing grateful this Christmas benefits you even when your family’s driving you bananas<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/301422/original/file-20191113-37451-dwavja.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=5%2C0%2C992%2C559&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">It's easy to get hot and bothered during a family Christmas. But the science of gratitude can help you not only cope, but enjoy, the festive season.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-positive-psychology-and-how-can-you-use-it-for-yourself-75635">from www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Christmas can be a stressful time of year. You will blow your budget, your relatives will annoy you, and you’ll receive gifts that go straight to Vinnies, all in 40°C heat.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, your friends post pictures on social media of their idyllic vacations, yearly accomplishments, and super happy toddlers and cats. You may feel extra stress from not accomplishing all the goals you set at the start of the year. You feel this stress in the face of other people’s overt jolliness.</p>
<p>So how can the <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=tGCcH2l4jUUC&oi=fnd&pg=PR5&dq=Emmons,+R.+(2007).+Thanks:+How+the+new+science+of+gratitude+can+make+you+happier.+Boston,+MA:+Houghton-Mifflin.+&ots=Z090TXxnwk&sig=tgihmYPgGhWKcr3iwm5zaQZSVT0&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false">science of gratitude</a> help you not only cope with, but enjoy, the ups and downs of the festive season?</p>
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<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/ten-tips-to-make-your-holidays-less-fraught-and-more-festive-88866">Ten tips to make your holidays less fraught and more festive</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Remind me again, what is gratitude?</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/1448873?casa_token=bR_grpmR63MAAAAA:xQpkqCQipFDwuXs-ihfLudnhEViDuTV7BopMVMJA0g0zo57cr1AfY_15atmAqZiiTEXtZfCRqy0Ry37ya9W8s5B3ndE6ymz2enGO9Z_MCF-AeXjO1sY&seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents">Gratitude</a>, in short, is a strong feeling of appreciation towards someone who’s helped you. You can also feel gratitude when you make a habit of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735810000450">noticing and appreciating the positives in life</a>. This might be feeling grateful for a cooling breeze on a hot day, appreciating your abilities in the kitchen or as a good friend.</p>
<p>Over the past 20 years or so, there has been quite a bit of research on gratitude. </p>
<p>Some of our own research shows <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2017.1414296">older people are more grateful</a> than younger people; suggests gratitude serves an <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2008.00590.x">evolutionary purpose</a> by helping humans bond; and shows it’s possible to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2005-08033-003">become more grateful</a> with practice.</p>
<h2>How can gratitude help me?</h2>
<p>Practising gratitude often can have many positive impacts, including: an <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=tGCcH2l4jUUC&oi=fnd&pg=PR5&dq=Emmons,+R.+(2007).+Thanks:+How+the+new+science+of+gratitude+can+make+you+happier.+Boston,+MA:+Houghton-Mifflin.+&ots=Z090TXxnwk&sig=tgihmYPgGhWKcr3iwm5zaQZSVT0&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false">increased sense of well-being</a> and life satisfaction; <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019188690800425X">positive emotional functioning</a> such as more pleasurable emotions and thoughts that life is going well; increased <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0022022117699278">optimism</a>; a sense of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212657017300387">connectedness</a>; improved <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-019-00330-w">relationships</a>; and more and better quality <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022399908004224">sleep</a>. </p>
<p>So all in all, researchers really get quite excited about all the positive things gratitude is related to.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-positive-psychology-and-how-can-you-use-it-for-yourself-75635">Explainer: what is positive psychology and how can you use it for yourself?</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>There is also research indicating gratitude can help <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656607001286">increase resilience</a> and cope with everyday life stress, as well as with more major adversities. </p>
<p>Gratitude can help mental health – for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212657017300600">a depressed mood</a> or <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005796705000392">post-traumatic stress disorder</a> – and with <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/1998-10511-020">coping well</a> from loss <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-9280.24482">after trauma</a>.</p>
<h2>Sign me up. How can I use it this Christmas?</h2>
<p>So, if you want to buffer against those annoying relatives, blown budgets and be more resilient to life’s stressors, developing a greater sense of gratitude can help.</p>
<p>Among the many ways researchers have tested, you can:</p>
<ul>
<li><p><strong>write a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=Toepfer%2C+S.M.+%26+Walker%2C+K.++%282009%29.++Letters+of+gratitude%3A+Improving+well-being+through+expressive+writing.++Journal+of+Writing+Research%2C+1%283%29%2C+181-198.&btnG=">thank you note</a></strong> for a gift or behaviour you’ve appreciated. It doesn’t have to be a hand written letter. You can express gratitude via text, email or social media</p></li>
<li><p><strong><a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-25554-000">visit someone</a></strong> and thank them in person</p></li>
<li><p><strong><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1052562911430062">keep a daily journal</a></strong> of things you feel grateful for, such as noting down three things at the end of the day as well as your role in bringing about the three things</p></li>
<li><p><strong><a href="https://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/sbp/sbp/2003/00000031/00000005/art00001">spend time contemplating being grateful</a></strong> for certain activities, such as having a family or friends to spend Christmas with or opening presents with children. In other words, <em>thinking</em> about being grateful is also helpful, not just the act of being grateful.</p></li>
</ul>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/more-than-words-saying-thank-you-does-make-a-difference-30920">More than words: saying 'thank you' does make a difference</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<h2>Hang on a minute. Surely it’s not that simple</h2>
<p>However, there are also a few tricks, twists and turns to be aware of:</p>
<ul>
<li><p><strong>consider cultural nuances:</strong> someone’s culture can influence how they perceive and react to gratitude. For example, in <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0022022117699278">East Asian and Indian cultures</a>, receiving gratitude can be accompanied by feelings of indebtedness or guilt. This can put pressure on people to reciprocate. This can also be true, but not to the same extent, in <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247497268_The_Debt_of_Gratitude_Dissociating_Gratitude_and_Indebtedness">Western cultures</a></p></li>
<li><p><strong>gratitude is not for everything:</strong> gratitude is not the panacea to all stresses of life; it helps, but it does not cure. It should also not be used to distract from real issues and problems, especially in interpersonal relationships</p></li>
<li><p><strong>think about when you use it:</strong> be purposeful and strategic about expressing gratitude and don’t overdose on it. Start with the people who help you the most and are the most meaningful to you</p></li>
<li><p><strong>don’t forget yourself</strong>: show gratitude towards yourself as well as others, such as being grateful for some of your strengths and capabilities.</p></li>
</ul>
<h2>If you can’t be grateful …</h2>
<p>With all the best will in the world, it can be difficult to be grateful faced with the same present from Aunt Betty three years in a row. In this case, our only advice is to smile, and grin and bear it, rather than to pretend to be grateful. You will feel better and so will she.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>Matthew Higgins, who has been admitted to the PhD program at Claremont Graduate University in the United States, co-authored this article.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/124168/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Aaron Jarden does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>If your family Christmas usually involves annoying relatives and unwanted presents, here’s how to be grateful and actually enjoy what the festive season brings.Aaron Jarden, Associate Professor, Centre for Positive Psychology, Melbourne Graduate School of Education, The University of MelbourneLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1271952019-11-26T15:08:19Z2019-11-26T15:08:19ZAre you as grateful as you deserve to be?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/303346/original/file-20191124-74572-zl4a6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Gratitude is not only a great feeling but a healthy one. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/african-american-woman-wearing-sweater-smiling-1121616575?src=a804ec61-e4ab-4d9d-bc84-951949c7cb04-1-2">Aaron Amat/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>As a physician, I have helped to care for many patients and families whose lives have been turned upside down by serious illnesses and injuries. In the throes of such catastrophes, it can be difficult to find cause for anything but lament. Yet Thanksgiving presents us with an opportunity to develop one of the healthiest, most life-affirming and convivial of all habits – that of counting and rejoicing in our blessings.</p>
<h2>Gratitude’s benefits</h2>
<p>Research shows that grateful people tend to be <a href="https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/03/practicing-gratitude">healthy and happy</a>. They exhibit lower levels of stress and depression, cope better with adversity and sleep better. They tend to be happier and more satisfied with life. Even their <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01273.x">partners</a> tend to be more content with their relationships.</p>
<p>Perhaps when we are more focused on the good things we enjoy in life, we have more to live for and tend to take better care of ourselves and each other.</p>
<p>When researchers asked people to reflect on the past week and write about things that either irritated them or about which they felt grateful, those tasked with <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/application_uploads/Emmons-CountingBlessings.pdf">recalling good things</a> were more optimistic, felt better about their lives and actually visited their physicians less.</p>
<p>It is no surprise that receiving thanks makes people happier, but so does expressing gratitude. An experiment that asked participants to write and deliver thank-you notes found large increases in reported levels of <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7701091_Positive_Psychology_Progress_Empirical_Validation_of_Interventions">happiness</a>, a benefit that lasted for an entire month.</p>
<h2>Philosophical roots</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=458&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=458&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=458&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=575&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=575&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303347/original/file-20191124-74593-1dpf6nt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=575&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Giving thanks is important for our psyches and our souls.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/christian-man-open-hands-worship-eucharist-1091200646">Love You Stock/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>One of the greatest minds in Western history, the Greek philosopher Aristotle, argued that we become what we <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.html">habitually do</a>. By changing our habits, we can become more thankful human beings.</p>
<p>If we spend our days ruminating on all that has gone poorly and how dark the prospects for the future appear, we can think ourselves into misery and resentment.</p>
<p>But we can also mold ourselves into the kind of people who seek out, recognize and celebrate all that we have to be grateful for.</p>
<p>This is not to say that anyone should become a Pollyanna, ceaselessly reciting the mantra from
Voltaire’s <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/19942/19942-h/19942-h.htm">“Candide</a>,” “All is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.” There are injustices to be righted and wounds to be healed, and ignoring them would represent a lapse of moral responsibility.</p>
<p>But reasons to make the world a better place should never blind us to the many good things it already affords. How can we be compassionate and generous if we are fixated on deficiency? This explains why the great Roman statesman <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Cicero">Cicero</a> called gratitude not only the greatest of virtues but the “<a href="https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/cicero-on-moral-duties-de-officiis">parent</a>” of them all.</p>
<h2>Religious roots</h2>
<p>Gratitude is deeply embedded in many religious traditions. In Judaism, the first words of the morning prayer could be translated, “<a href="https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/morning-blessings/">I thank you</a>.” Another saying addresses the question, “Who is rich?” with this answer: “<a href="https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/pirkei-avot-ethics-of-the-fathers-chapter-4/">Those who rejoice in what they have</a>.”</p>
<p>From a Christian perspective, too, gratitude and thanksgiving are vital. Before Jesus shares his last meal with his disciples, he <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+22&version=NKJV">gives thanks</a>. So vital a part of Christian life is gratitude that author and critic <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/G-K-Chesterton">G.K. Chesterton </a> calls it “<a href="http://www.online-literature.com/chesterton/short-history-of-england/6/">the highest form of thought</a>.”</p>
<p>Gratitude also plays an essential role in Islam. The 55th chapter of the Quran enumerates all the things human beings have to be grateful for – the Sun, Moon, clouds, rain, air, grass, animals, plants, rivers and oceans – and then asks, “<a href="https://www.clearquran.com/055.html">How can a sensible person be anything but thankful to God</a>?”</p>
<p>Other traditions also stress the importance of thankfulness. Hindu festivals <a href="https://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/hinduism/articles/a-hindu-thanksgiving-its-all-about-gratitude.aspx">celebrate blessings and offer thanks for them</a>. In Buddhism, gratitude develops patience and serves as an <a href="https://www.sunyatacentre.org/the-three-poisons/">antidote to greed</a>, the corrosive sense that we never have enough. </p>
<h2>Roots even in suffering</h2>
<p>In his 1994 book, <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/A-Whole-New-Life/Reynolds-Price/9780743238540">“A Whole New Life</a>,” the Duke University English professor <a href="https://today.duke.edu/showcase/reynoldsprice/">Reynolds Price</a> describes how his battle with a spinal cord tumor that left him partially paralyzed also taught him a great deal about what it means to really live.</p>
<p>After surgery, Price describes “a kind of stunned beatitude.” With time, though diminished in many ways by his tumor and its treatment, he learns to pay closer attention to the world around him and those who populate it. </p>
<p>Reflecting on the change in his writing, Price notes that his books differ in many ways from those he penned as a younger man. Even his handwriting, he says, “looks very little like that of the man he was at the time of his diagnosis.”</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“Cranky as it is, it’s taller, more legible, and with more air and stride. And it comes down the arm of a grateful man.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>A brush with death can open our eyes. Some of us emerge with a deepened appreciation for the preciousness of each day, a clearer sense of our real priorities and a renewed commitment to celebrating life. In short, we can become more grateful, and more alive, than ever.</p>
<h2>Practicing gratitude</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/303351/original/file-20191124-74567-wuixju.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Good conversation, good friends and connections – not material possessions – bring great joy.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-people-having-great-time-cafe-409251184">Jacob Lund/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>When it comes to practicing gratitude, one trap to avoid is locating happiness in things that make us feel better off – or simply better – than others. In my view, such thinking can foster envy and jealousy. </p>
<p>There are marvelous respects in which we are equally blessed – the same Sun shines down upon each of us, we all begin each day with the same 24 hours, and each of us enjoys the free use of one of the most complex and powerful resources in the universe, the human brain.</p>
<p>Much in our culture seems aimed to cultivate an attitude of deficiency – for example, most ads aim to make us think that to find happiness we must <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0277953617307748">buy something</a>. Yet most of the best things in life – the beauty of nature, conversation and love – are free.</p>
<p>There are many ways to cultivate a disposition of thankfulness. One is to make a habit of giving thanks regularly – at the beginning of the day, at meals and the like, and at day’s end.</p>
<p>Likewise, holidays, weeks, seasons and years can be punctuated with thanks – grateful prayer or meditation, <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-lifesaving-power-of-gratitude-or-why-you-should-write-that-thank-you-note-99177">writing thank-you notes</a>, keeping a gratitude journal and consciously seeking out the blessings in situations as they arise.</p>
<p>Gratitude can become a way of life, and by developing the simple habit of counting our blessings, we can enhance the degree to which we are truly blessed.</p>
<p>[ <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=thanksforreading">Thanks for reading! We can send you The Conversation’s stories every day in an informative email. Sign up today.</a></em> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/127195/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Gunderman does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Thanksgiving is a life-enriching practice worth cultivating all year long.Richard Gunderman, Chancellor's Professor of Medicine, Liberal Arts, and Philanthropy, Indiana UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1197322019-08-01T12:40:55Z2019-08-01T12:40:55ZGrudges come naturally to kids – gratitude must be taught<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286490/original/file-20190731-186814-a2phye.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=1120%2C300%2C4355%2C3126&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Kids have no problem remembering who plays fair.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/boy-serious-offended-concept-childrens-emotions-1198736056">Natalia Lebedinskaia/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Have you heard this tale? In ancient times, an escaped slave hid in a cave only to encounter a wounded lion. Although afraid, the man helps the lion, removing a thorn from its paw. The lion is forever grateful, shares his food with the man and, eventually, saves his life.</p>
<p>If this millennia-old fable sounds familiar, you may have encountered it as a child. Variations of “<a href="https://www.bartleby.com/17/1/23.html">Androcles and the Lion</a>” appear in Aesop’s Fables and Roman folklore, and the story persists in <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/isbn/9780140502770">children’s books today</a>.</p>
<p>Stories like these capitalize on a lesson that most people consider to be deeply natural and intuitive: “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Given the relevance of this proverb in daily life, like many psychologists before <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=Rrq6vekAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">us</a>, <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=zu9eT-YAAAAJ&hl=en">we</a> <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=Tt4hKsQAAAAJ&hl=en">assumed</a> that this principle would be at play in the behavior even of young children.</p>
<p>However, <a href="https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/vjb6q">recent experiments</a> by our team suggest that reciprocity of this kind is neither natural nor intuitive: Young children showed almost no awareness that they should repay favors to those who helped them in the past.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=428&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=428&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=428&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=538&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=538&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286275/original/file-20190730-186819-2y6trw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=538&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The lion remembers Androcles’ kindness and returns the favor down the road.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AJean-L%C3%A9on_G%C3%A9r%C3%B4me_-_Androcles.jpg">Jean-Léon Gérôme/Wikimedia Commons</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Helping those who help you</h2>
<p>The principle of direct reciprocity – paying back those who have helped you in the past – is so central to everyday life that it’s often imbued with moral status. In many societies, including the U.S., <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0021201">failure to return a favor</a> can be considered a great offense.</p>
<p>Beyond the personal level, researchers have argued that direct reciprocity can explain both the <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2092623">success of communities</a> and the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2013.06.003">evolution of cooperation</a> more generally. We reasoned that if reciprocity is indeed something that evolved as a foundation of the way human beings interact with others, it should come naturally to young children.</p>
<p>To test this hypothesis, we designed a simple computer game for 4- to 8-year-olds. Children interacted with four avatars that we told them were other children playing the game. In one version of task, all of the “other children” received a sticker, leaving the child without any. But then one of the players gave their sticker to the child.</p>
<p>In the next phase of the game, the child received a second sticker which they could give to one of the other players. Surely, the most obvious choice would be to return the favor and give that sticker to their prior benefactor?</p>
<p>In fact, the answer was an unequivocal no. Even when forced to give their new sticker away, and even when interacting with people who were members of their same social group, children at all ages gave randomly to one of the other players. Their behavior showed no evidence of direct reciprocity.</p>
<p>Was there something wrong with our task? Or was it too difficult for young children to keep track of who had done what? It didn’t seem like it – when we asked them, nearly all the kids recalled who had given them a sticker.</p>
<p>We found this same effect several times in other groups of children, again finding no evidence that they respect the principle of “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”</p>
<p>Does this mean children never show direct reciprocity? Not exactly. In fact, they did, just in the form of grudges rather than gratitude.</p>
<h2>Paying back with a punishment</h2>
<p>Direct reciprocity actually comes in two flavors. In addition to the positive form of returning benefits – showing gratitude – there is a negative form of returning injuries – holding grudges. This negative form is also ensconced in proverbs, such as “An eye for an eye.”</p>
<p>We tested the negative form of direct reciprocity with a different group of children, who played a “stealing” version of the task.</p>
<p>Children started with a sticker which was then stolen by one of the four computer players. Later the other players had stickers and the child had the opportunity to take from one of them. Now children retaliated, often with relish, snatching a sticker from the thief in order to even the score.</p>
<p>Why were children of the same age eager to retaliate but unconcerned with returning a favor? Here too, memory errors or biases could not account for the phenomenon: Children were just as good at remembering the nice person as the mean person, but they only reciprocated in the case of negative behavior.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/286491/original/file-20190731-186814-gpw7pn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Who should receive the sticker?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/kid-gluing-sticker-on-applique-750057400">Dmytro Yashchuk/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>An expectation that must be learned</h2>
<p>Young children may not respond to obligation, but researchers know they <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.44.3.875">try to abide by social expectations</a>. We wondered if children were simply unaware of the norm of returning favors. Maybe it just doesn’t occur to them to reciprocate the benefits they received.</p>
<p>So, we asked them. We used the same game as before and children still received a sticker, but this time, we just asked “Whom should you give to?” In this case, kids in the oldest age group we looked at, 7- and 8-year-olds, did systematically pick the person who had given a sticker to them. Younger children chose the potential beneficiary at random; it appeared that they simply didn’t know the rule.</p>
<p>Our results suggested that young children must learn the principle of direct reciprocity in order to apply it.</p>
<p>We ran one last study to test this possibility. One group of children heard a story about two children who returned favors to each other, with this information presented in a prescriptive way: “I remember Tom gave me a sticker yesterday so I should do the same for him today.” A separate group of children heard a story about two children who engaged in positive actions, but not in any kind of reciprocal way.</p>
<p>Both groups of children then played the same game as before. It turned out children in the first group, who heard the reciprocity story, were much more likely to “pay back” the person who gave to them compared to the children who heard the second story about kind deeds. In other words, a simple story about gratitude was sufficient for children to start following the social norm of paying back favors.</p>
<p>So the upshot isn’t so grim after all: grudges may come more naturally than gratitude, but gratitude is readily learned. Perhaps, then, the reason why there are so many fables like “Androcles and the Lion” about reciprocity isn’t because the behavior comes so naturally. Instead, we need the fables precisely because it doesn’t.</p>
<p>[ <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/us/newsletters?utm_source=TCUS&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=signupinsight">Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter to get insight each day</a></em> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/119732/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Nadia Chernyak received funding from the National Science Foundation, the John Templeton Foundation, and the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.</span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Peter Blake receives funding from the John Templeton Foundation and the National Science Foundation. </span></em></p><p class="fine-print"><em><span>Yarrow Dunham receives funding from The National Science Foundation, the John Templeton Foundation, the U.S. Army Research Laboratory, and the U.K. Ministry of Defence. </span></em></p>Do children understand the lesson that if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours? Developmental psychologists suggest they’re more likely to punish bad behavior than they are to reward good deeds.Nadia Chernyak, Assistant Professor of Cognitive Science, University of California, IrvinePeter Blake, Associate Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences, Boston UniversityYarrow Dunham, Assistant Professor of Psychology and Cognitive Science, Yale UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1163952019-05-06T10:39:37Z2019-05-06T10:39:37Z5 tips for college students to use final exam stress to their advantage<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/272635/original/file-20190505-103085-1uzkp9n.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Changing the way you think about stress can help you deal with it better, research shows.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/double-multiply-exposure-portrait-dreamy-cute-1283220583">sun ok from www.shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>For the <a href="https://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=372">nearly 20 million college</a> students in the U.S., one of the most stressful times of the year comes at the end of the semester, as they prepare for final exams, graduation and – for many seniors – yet another life transition.</p>
<p>Almost 60% of college students report they are experiencing more than average amounts of stress during the year. Over one-third of college students say stress has <a href="https://www.acha.org/documents/ncha/NCHA-II_Spring_2018_Reference_Group_Executive_Summary.pdf">negatively impacted</a> their academic performance, which includes getting lower grades. While stress can negatively impact students, as one who <a href="https://www.binghamton.edu/dson/contact/hws-dept/jwegmann.html">teaches stress management</a>, I know that there are ways to use stress to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721412461500">one’s advantage</a>. </p>
<p>Here are some ways college students can maintain their well-being as they deal with final exams and everything that goes along with graduating.</p>
<h2>1. Accept stress</h2>
<p>Colleges and universities often encourage their students to have a <a href="https://www.binghamton.edu/dean-of-students/programs-services/stress-free-spring.html">“stress free” spring</a>. While this message is sent with good intentions, it may give students unrealistic expectations. </p>
<p>The reality is the end of the semester is a stressful time, so trying to stay “stress-free” may do more harm than good. That can happen if students begin to stress over the fact that they are stressed. This in turn may lead students to avoid stressful situations in order to not make their situations worse. For example, students may avoid or put off studying, finishing a paper or going to work as a means to reduce stress. </p>
<p>This kind of avoidance can in turn create more stress, because the actual stressful situation does not go away, and can lead to more problems, including <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.73.4.658">feeling depressed</a>. While this avoidant approach may seem instinctive, research shows accepting the stresses of life may <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.05.025">actually protect</a> some students from experiencing negative emotions, such as fear, often associated with stress.</p>
<h2>2. Change your mindset about stress</h2>
<p>Stress can be harmful and dangerous, but it can also make people more productive, focused and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01">lead to personal growth</a>. </p>
<p>The mindset you adopt regarding stress is important. Some research even suggests your beliefs about stress can become a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026743">self-fulfilling prophecy</a>. That means if you believe the effects of stress are harmful, they may be more likely to be harmful. Conversely, if you believe the <a href="https://www0.gsb.columbia.edu/mygsb/faculty/research/pubfiles/6010/II%2043%20Crum%20Lyddy.pdf">effects are helpful</a>, then you may experience more postive outcomes, according to Stanford psychology professor Alia Crum.</p>
<p>Adopting a more positive mindset about stress may lead to positive outcomes.</p>
<h2>3. Attach meaning to your stress</h2>
<p>Research shows <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.6.647">attaching meaning</a> to the stressors in your life can improve how you deal with them. </p>
<p>Psychologist Kelly McGonigal, author of “<a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/316675/the-upside-of-stress-by-kelly-mcgonigal/9781101982938/">The Upside of Stress</a>,” argues a meaningful life is a stressful life. That is to say, the most common sources of stress in people’s lives overlap with the greatest sources of meaning. For students, it’s important to remember that all the things they must complete to get through school – papers, tests and projects – are leading to the achievement of goals, the realization of dreams and the fulfillment of passions.</p>
<h2>4. Use your support network</h2>
<p>It’s important and beneficial for students to reach out to their social supports, the people they trust most, and share what they are going through.</p>
<p>Research shows connecting socially is an <a href="https://www.oxfordclinicalpsych.com/view/10.1093/med:psych/9780195126709.001.0001/med-9780195126709">effective way to manage</a> and <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310">cope with stress</a>.</p>
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<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/272576/original/file-20190503-103063-1htausx.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Turning to loved ones can help students get through stressful situations.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/african-american-father-son-talking-445257784?src=ZGLSwTZesUDFqmbah4RD0Q-1-5">pixelhead photo digital skillet from www.shutterstock.com</a></span>
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<p>When students seek social support, it may lead to effective coping and can change the way they appraise or evaluate their stressors. In other words, stressful situations seem less threatening and negative. Utilizing social resources <a href="http://dx.doi.org/%2010.1007/s10865-006-9056-5">has been shown</a> to promote physical and mental health, provide a sense of control, and even help boost the immune system.</p>
<h2>5. Adopt an attitude of gratitude</h2>
<p>When students are stressed, it becomes easy for negativity to seep into their lives. When this happens there may be a tendency to overlook the positive. If students can tap into what is right in their lives and express genuine gratefulness despite all the stress they are experiencing, they will <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2007.11.003">notice positive changes</a>, including feeling less stressed. Adopting an attitude of gratitude can improve <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332">mental health</a> and overall well-being. So go ahead and tap into this positive emotion. Stress may not go away completely, but students will be better equipped to cope with and manage whatever stress remains.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/116395/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jennifer Wegmann does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Although the end of the semester can be a stressful time for students, embracing the stress can help students deal with it better than trying to avoid it, a well-being expert argues.Jennifer Wegmann, Professor of Health and Wellness Studies, Binghamton University, State University of New YorkLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1101382019-01-23T11:48:26Z2019-01-23T11:48:26ZHow to show gratitude to TSA workers<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/255042/original/file-20190122-100285-1ex84iv.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Food donated for TSA workers who continue to work without pay.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Government-Shutdown-Pennsylvania/d6c577ce3b684c0e8a9fb031ca79c2a2/10/0">AP Photo/Keith Srakocic</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>TSA workers are usually among the least-liked government employees. But these days many travelers passing through airports are taking a moment to <a href="https://www.npr.org/2019/01/15/685656065/some-travelers-expressing-gratitude-for-tsa-workers-amid-shutdown">express their gratitude</a> to the furloughed workers <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-01-15/trump-s-selective-recalls-curb-unpopular-disruptions-tests-law">putting in their hours without pay</a> as the partial government shutdown continues. </p>
<p>In my research as a scholar of communication, as I outline in my book, <a href="http://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">“The Art of Gratitude</a>.” I can tell you that gratitude matters. The words we use to describe our emotions are important, as they influence how we and others feel. </p>
<p>Here are my three rules for how to practice gratitude.</p>
<h2>1. Practice gratitude every day</h2>
<p>Two recent books – historian <a href="https://dianabutlerbass.com/about/">Diana Butler Bass’</a> <a href="https://dianabutlerbass.com/books/grateful-the-transformative-power-of-giving-thanks/">“Grateful: The Transformative Power of Giving Thanks”</a> and journalist <a href="https://ajjacobs.com/">A.J. Jacobs’</a> <a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Thanks-A-Thousand/A-J-Jacobs/TED-Books/9781501119927">“Thanks A Thousand: A Gratitude Journey”</a> – share details of the personal, social and health benefits of gratitude. </p>
<p>These books recount how gratitude can <a href="https://news.heart.org/study-gratitude-is-a-healthy-attitude/">lower blood pressure</a>, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656607001286">reduce anxiety</a>, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19073292">improve sleep</a>, and <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_gratitude_good_for_your_health">make people feel happier and more at home in the world</a>. In general, research shows that the practice of gratitude <a href="https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/benefits-gratitude-research-questions/">reduces suffering and promotes individual well-being</a>. </p>
<p>So the practice of gratitude each day is important – but it also requires the right philosophy.</p>
<h2>2. Avoid the language of debt</h2>
<p>Many of us regularly say “I owe you one,” “I owe you a debt of gratitude,” or some other phrase that means basically the same thing. </p>
<p>In doing so, gratitude becomes a kind of a debt incurred during daily life. </p>
<p>The field of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-good-life/200805/what-is-positive-psychology-and-what-is-it-not">positive psychology</a> studies what makes life most worth living. According to the positive psychologist <a href="http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/people/raemmons">Robert Emmons</a>, to be grateful “<a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=2OyzetozsTsC&printsec=frontcover&dq=robert+emmons+Thanks!&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin747v_IHgAhWCjFkKHUuoB_sQ6AEIJTAA#v=onepage&q&f=false">is to feel indebted</a>.” Paraphrasing Emmons, when someone does me a favor or gives me a gift, the emotion of gratitude encourages me to think of it as a debt that I need to repay.</p>
<p>The trouble with the language of debt is that it transforms how we talk about gratitude into a transaction. Gratitude becomes a daily practice of counting and keeping score. People then get good at seeing their <a href="http://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">lives as a series of debts</a> that must be repaid. But life is not a debt or a series of debts. </p>
<p>According to Aristotle in his “<a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=-fhkBAAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=aristotle+nicomachean+ethics&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwit0MiTiYLgAhUh2FkKHW6BBgY4ChDoATAFegQIARAd#v=onepage&q=aristotle%20nicomachean%20ethics&f=false">Nicomachean Ethics</a>,” it is natural for people to despise feeling indebted to others. And so, he contends, it is also natural for people to turn away from relationships with others if those relationships serve to create additional debts. </p>
<h2>3. Recognize interconnectedness</h2>
<p>In addition to being a scholar, I am a <a href="http://www.statecollegeyogalab.com/teachers/">yoga teacher</a>. My academic research is influenced profoundly by yoga philosophy. Yoga is a practice that aims to reduce suffering. According to the yoga scholar <a href="https://www.shambhala.com/yoga-for-a-world-out-of-balance-1757.html">Michael Stone</a>, “the term ‘yoga’ connotes the basic unity and interconnectedness of all of life.” </p>
<p>In America, it is common to speak of self-reliance. But no person succeeds alone. Everyone is supported. The yogic practice of gratitude, or “santosha,” encourages practitioners to <a href="http://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">acknowledge and give thanks</a> for the many forms of support that allow them to live their lives. </p>
<p>To breathe is to take in the same air that others breathe; to stand is to stand on the same earth that others stand on. Without the air, or the earth, shared by all, we wouldn’t be here. The practice of yogic gratitude encourages people to recognize that they are part of the world, not separate from it.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=393&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=393&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=393&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=494&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=494&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/255045/original/file-20190122-100273-kr64m9.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=494&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A food donation point at Orlando International Airport to help workers who are not getting paid during shutdown.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Government-Shutdown-TSA-Workers/a098bd9b8e3d40748ce13b945e2383ec/38/0">AP Photo/John Raoux</a></span>
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<p>It also teaches people to recognize that to reduce their suffering they must also work to reduce the suffering of those around them. Often people don’t see it this way, but there is no injustice that affects someone else that does not also in some way affect each one of us too. </p>
<h2>Fighting injustice</h2>
<p>Ultimately, it is heart-warming to see Americans giving thanks, <a href="https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/How-to-Help-Federal-Furloughed-Workers-Impacted-by-the-Partial-Government-Shutdown-Donate-Volunteer-504540111.html">collecting donations</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/WCKitchen/status/1085941565783265280">providing food</a> to government workers affected by the shutdown. </p>
<p>But, true gratitude is a practice of recognizing our interconnectedness – that we are all in this together. If people practice the three rules of gratitude, perhaps they can also recognize the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/opinion/its-time-for-tsa-workers-to-strike.html">unfairness</a> of asking people to work without pay and pledge to fight this injustice together.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/110138/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jeremy David Engels does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>As people say thanks to those who are turning up for work without being paid, an expert explains what true gratitude really means.Jeremy David Engels, Sherwin Early Career Professor in the Rock Ethics Institute, and Associate Professor of Communication Arts and Sciences, Penn StateLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1074952018-12-13T22:13:15Z2018-12-13T22:13:15ZKids with enough stuff disappointed about presents? Modelling limits is the gift<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/307724/original/file-20191218-11896-gfkacs.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&rect=0%2C93%2C4920%2C2917&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Be mindful of what you get excited about, as children will model your lead.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>Disappointment is a natural human emotion that occurs after a perceived failure. For our young children, this perceived failure can look like not getting the toy they wanted, not being invited to a classmate’s birthday party or losing their favourite stuffed animal. </p>
<p>It is essential for children’s mental health, well-being and overall development that they experience how to <a href="http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/dissappointment.pdf">deal with disappointment well</a>. But this can be difficult for parents to handle, particularly around holidays that have grown to involve consumerism, gift-giving and expectations. </p>
<p>North American culture often mistakenly links love and happiness with material goods such as toys; the Santa story promises magical wish fulfilment. This can cause conflict for parents when children do not get the “right” gift. </p>
<p>On holidays, there’s social and personal pressure to provide happiness and joy to children through material objects, which can be confused with providing the necessities. For parents who do not have the resources to provide the perfect or desired gift this can cause additional stress, shame, guilt and fear around disappointment.</p>
<p>Parents may feel as though they have let down their child and that they have impacted the child’s experience or memory of their “special day.” </p>
<p>This is especially true if the child has difficulty with or is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01319934">learning to regulate emotions</a> and <a href="https://www.nasponline.org/Documents/Resources%20and%20Publications/Handouts/Families%20and%20Educators/Temper_Tantrums_Guidelines_for_Parents_and_Edcuators.pdf">expresses disappointment through tantrums</a> or sulking. </p>
<p>These behaviours can affect parents profoundly, often leading them to feel badly about themselves or that the child does not love them. </p>
<h2>Focus on traditions over gifts</h2>
<p>The holiday season should be about love, connection and spending time together. This is at the core of all family traditions and what children will remember and bring with them as they develop and eventually have their own families. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-164381.pdf">Traditions and rituals are important</a> for creating meaning and a sense of belonging. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249337/original/file-20181206-128193-yqjagl.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Family traditions can create seasonal rhythms that bring joy.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Being a part of something greater than yourself or your immediate family and creating positive loving memories and security are all important for children’s emotional, social and cognitive development. </p>
<p>To help children understand the true meaning of a holiday season, you might delve more into your own traditions. Or you might like to create new family traditions that provide opportunities to connect with each other and your wider community. </p>
<p>Experiences such as baking for others and donating to a food bank or toy drive can help children to understand that the holidays are for making a positive difference.</p>
<h2>Emphasize giving, not receiving</h2>
<p>Changing our focus from giving rather than receiving can help our children develop and appreciate the strength in gratitude. </p>
<p>Research has linked <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good">gratitude to significant health and wellness benefits</a> such as improving self-esteem, improving sleep and developing empathy. </p>
<p>The other thing to know is that although disappointment feels awful, it is a part of life and is actually a positive and healthy emotion that’s central to children’s emotional, cognitive and social development throughout their lives.</p>
<p>Parents naturally try to protect their children from pain, to make them feel better from what we deem as negative emotions such as anger, sadness and disappointment. </p>
<p>But it is important for us to equip them with the tools to manage special day and day-to-day disappointments. Because ultimately, as they grow older, those disappointing moments in life become more profound.</p>
<p>When parents support children in dealing with disappointment it can lead to the development of <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1991-98760-000">adaptation</a> and <a href="https://www.beststart.org/resources/hlthy_chld_dev/pdf/BSRC_Resilience_English_fnl.pdf">resilience</a>, which are both important for children in order for them to bounce back from difficult experiences throughout life.</p>
<p>Here are some more ways you can help children deal with disappointment:</p>
<h2>1. Acknowledge your child’s feelings</h2>
<p>Let them know that you understand. It is important to label and validate children’s feelings. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249345/original/file-20181206-128214-1v2xfjy.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Be mindful of what you get excited about; children will model your lead.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Tell your child that you recognize why they are feeling disappointed and that it’s OK to express this emotion.</p>
<p>In order for children to develop a positive sense of self, empathy and social skills, <a href="https://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/mental-health-matters/social-and-emotional-learning/emotional-development/feelings-matter">they need to be able to feel, label and talk about all feelings</a>.</p>
<h2>2. Share your own disappointments</h2>
<p>Often when children are disappointed about not receiving what they wanted, they also feel badly because they are told to feel fortunate and thankful for what they have. </p>
<p>To encourage children to embrace and express their emotions, it is helpful to share a story of a time when you also felt disappointments. </p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/249301/original/file-20181206-128187-1p0gbk3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">The pony that never arrived.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Perhaps you can remember a holiday when you were young, when you too were disappointed over a dream gift that never arrived. Empathize with your child’s emotional experience to remind them that they are not alone and that their emotions are valid.</p>
<h2>3. Be mindful, stay present</h2>
<p>It’s always important, but especially during the holiday season, to be intentional about the expectations you set for your children. Instead of talking about the gifts under the tree, you could talk about the fun they will have with friends and family during your holiday traditions.</p>
<p>Be present through the disappointment and the behaviour. Disappointment can feel awful for children. The emotion and the behaviour will pass and your child will be stronger and more resilient when they know the boundaries. </p>
<h2>4. Don’t label your child</h2>
<p>During this time, it is important to be mindful of your own language and attitudes. Don’t say: “You’re acting like a baby.”</p>
<p>Although it is difficult, try not to label your child, even if the label describes what he or she has done. You can use questions to motivate change, such as “Are your actions safe?” or “Are your words kind?”</p>
<p>The holiday season brings out the best and worst in all of us, and if we want to support our child’s growth and development it is important that we help them learn to manage and deal with their disappointments everyday. </p>
<p>Through loving, caring relationships our children will always grow and prosper.</p>
<p>[ <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/ca/newsletters?utm_source=TCCA&utm_medium=inline-link&utm_campaign=newsletter-text&utm_content=thanksforreading">Thanks for reading! We can send you The Conversation’s stories every day in an informative email. Sign up today.</a></em> ]</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/107495/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Hide the credit cards and instead build traditions with your kids. Supporting a child through gift disappointment is important to their emotional, cognitive and social development.Nikki Martyn, Program Head of Early Childhood Studies, University of Guelph-HumberElena Merenda, Assistant Program Head of Early Childhood Studies, University of Guelph-HumberLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1056062018-11-21T18:43:43Z2018-11-21T18:43:43ZWhen you’re grateful, your brain becomes more charitable<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246728/original/file-20181121-161612-1kw59m0.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Volunteering at a food bank is one way people feel rewarded by giving.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.apimages.com/metadata/Index/Pennsylvania-Daily-Life/4f3f592f33ee406eba01dea11069a450/1/0">AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>‘Tis the season when the conversation shifts to what you’re thankful for. Gathered with family and friends around a holiday feast, for instance, people may recount some of the biggies – like their health or their children – or smaller things that enhance everyday life – like happening upon a great movie while channel-surfing or enjoying a favorite seasonal food.</p>
<p>Psychology researchers recognize that taking time to be thankful has benefits for well-being. Not only does gratitude go along with more optimism, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332">less anxiety and depression</a>, and greater goal attainment, but it’s also associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000000316">fewer symptoms of illness</a> and other physical benefits.</p>
<p>In recent years, researchers have been making connections between the internal experience of gratitude and the external practice of altruism. How does being thankful about things in your own life relate to any selfless concern you may have about the well-being of others?</p>
<p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=hExTDycAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">As a neuroscientist</a>, I’m particularly interested in the <a href="http://www.jneurosci.org/content/early/2018/05/07/JNEUROSCI.2944-17.2018.abstract">brain regions and connections</a> that support gratitude and altruism. I’ve been exploring how changes in one might lead to changes in the other.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246732/original/file-20181121-161615-1n4vn8b.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Volunteers’ brain activity was tracked while in an MRI scanner to try to untangle the relationship.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">University of Oregon</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Shared pathway for gratitude and altruism</h2>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00599">To study the relationship between gratitude and altruism in the brain</a>, my colleagues and I first asked volunteers questions meant to tease out how frequently they feel thankful and the degree to which they tend to care about the well-being of others. Then we used statistics to determine the extent to which someone’s gratitude could predict their altruism. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000242">As others</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2017.1388435">have found</a>, the more grateful people in this group tended to be more altruistic.</p>
<p>The next step was to explore more about how these tendencies are reflected in the brain. Our study participants performed a giving activity in the MRI scanner. They watched as the computer transferred real money to their own account or to the account of a local food bank. Sometimes they could choose whether to give or receive, but other times the transfers were like a mandatory tax, outside their control. We especially wanted to compare what happened in the brain when a participant received money as opposed to seeing money given to the charity instead.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=314&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=314&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=314&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=395&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=395&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246582/original/file-20181120-161638-42ltpm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=395&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Deep in the front part of your brain, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex helps process risk and reward.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Christina Karns</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>It turns out that the neural connection between gratitude and giving is very deep, both literally and figuratively. A region deep in the frontal lobe of the brain, called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, is key to supporting both. Anatomically, this region is wired up to be a hub for processing the value of risk and reward; it’s richly connected to even deeper brain regions that provide a kick of pleasurable neurochemicals in the right circumstances. It holds abstract representations of the inner and outer world that help with complex reasoning, one’s representation of oneself and even social processing.</p>
<p>Beyond identifying the place in the brain that was especially active during these tasks, we also saw differences in just how active this region was in various individuals. </p>
<p>We calculated what we termed a “pure altruism response” by comparing how active the reward regions of the brain were during “charity-gain” versus “self-gain” situations. The participants I’d identified as more grateful and more altruistic via the questionnaire had a higher “pure altruism” scores – that is, a stronger response in these reward regions of the brain when they saw the charity gaining money. It felt good for them to see the food bank do well.</p>
<p>In other studies, some of my colleagues had <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000209">zeroed in on this same brain region</a>. They found that individual differences in self-reported “benevolence” were mirrored by participants’ brains’ responses to charitable donations, including in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex.</p>
<p>So is this brain reward region the key to kindness? Well, it’s complicated.</p>
<h2>Practice makes grateful, makes altruistic?</h2>
<p>The human brain is amazingly flexible. The absence of hearing in someone who’s born deaf opens up brain real estate that would have processed sound to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.6488-11.2012">instead deal with other sensory information</a>, like touch. Neuroscientists call this plasticity.</p>
<p>In recent years I’ve been testing the idea that the plasticity of the mature brain can be used to enhance the experience of well-being. Could practice change how emotions that support social relationships – like gratitude, empathy and altruism – are typically programmed into the brain? Through practicing gratitude, could people become more generous? </p>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00599">My colleagues and I decided to test whether</a> by changing the amount of gratitude people felt, we could alter the way the ventromedial prefrontal cortex responds to giving and receiving. I randomly assigned study participants to one of two groups. For three weeks, one group wrote in their journals about gratitude, keeping track of the things they were thankful for. Over the same period, the other group wrote about engaging topics from their lives that weren’t specific to gratitude.</p>
<figure class="align-center zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=444&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/246657/original/file-20181121-161615-xbi1bt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=558&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Just writing it down had an effect.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://unsplash.com/photos/jw3xbuelpKM">fotografierende/Unsplash</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsp.2007.03.005">Gratitude journaling</a> seemed to work. Just keeping a written account about gratitude led people to report experiencing more of the emotion. Other recent work also indicates that gratitude practice <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000472">makes people more supportive of others</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032701">improves relationships</a>.</p>
<p>Importantly, the participants in our study also exhibited a change in how their brains responded to giving. In the MRI scanner, the group that practiced gratitude by journaling increased their “pure altruism” measure in the reward regions of the brain. Their responses to charity-gain increased more than those to self-gain.</p>
<figure>
<img src="https://cdn.theconversation.com/static_files/files/365/unnamed.gif?1542821507">
<figcaption><span class="caption">The pink in these scans shows the region that responded more to giving after practicing gratitude for three weeks.</span></figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>Altering the exchange rate for what’s rewarding</h2>
<p>The ventromedial prefrontal cortex is connected to other brain systems that help you experience reward. These high-level systems in your frontal lobes are constantly assessing the value of your decisions. This part of the brain helps you place various things in a hierarchy of how rewarding you find them to be. It may help you determine which decisions, goals and relationships to prioritize.</p>
<p>Here’s an analogy: When I was 13, my aunt gave me an amazing opportunity to travel with her to Britain. When I started saving up my babysitting money, it cost US$1.65 to buy one British pound sterling. But by the time of the trip, it cost nearly $2.00 to buy one British pound. A £10 British souvenir that would have cost $16 a few months ago would now cost me $20. In other words, the value of each dollar bill fluctuated with the exchange rate. </p>
<p>I imagine the ventromedial prefrontal cortex is like the office where you exchange dollars to pounds or vice versa. For the people with more grateful and altruistic tendencies, it seems the ventromedial prefrontal cortex assigns more value to charitable donations than to receiving money for themselves.</p>
<p>Practicing gratitude shifted the value of giving in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex. It changed the exchange rate in the brain. Giving to charity became more valuable than receiving money yourself. After the brain calculates the exchange rate, you get paid in the neural currency of reward, the delivery of neurotransmitters that signal pleasure and goal attainment. </p>
<p>So in terms of the brain’s reward response, it really can be true that giving is better than receiving. As you sail through the holidays – whether with a Thanksgiving banquet spread out for our friends and family, a busy shopping day on Black Friday or a pile of Christmas presents – taking time to practice gratitude can help make giving the most rewarding of activity of all.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/105606/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>This research was supported by a grant to Christina Karns from the Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude Project through UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, in partnership with UC Davis, with funding from the John Templeton Foundation. The authors acknowledge additional financial support provided by the Templeton Religion Trust through a grant to Christina Karns from the Institute for the Study of Human Flourishing at the University of Oklahoma. They also thank the University of Oregon Lewis Center for Neuroimaging for both financial and staff support. </span></em></p>How does being thankful about things in your own life relate to any selfless concern you may have about the well-being of others? A neuroscientist explores the gratitude/altruism connection.Christina Karns, Research Associate in Psychology and the Center for Brain Injury Research and Training; Director of Emotions and Neuroplasticity Project, University of OregonLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1005522018-08-31T07:58:42Z2018-08-31T07:58:42ZWhat sports stars can teach us about the benefits of practising gratitude<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234051/original/file-20180829-195322-1uyhd10.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Andy Murray's secret to success? Being good to himself.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">shutterstock</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>The <a href="https://www.usopen.org/index.html">US Open championship tennis tournament</a> is well and truly underway. Venus and Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are all expected to compete at the National Tennis Centre in New York over the next few weeks.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/45339175">The gruelling sporting event</a> is one of the oldest tennis championships in the world. Players will no doubt be put through their paces in terms of their fitness – with many training extra hard in the run up to such tournaments. But increasingly, many players are also working on aspects of their mental health to help them <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4791384/">be more resilient</a>.</p>
<p>After Novak Djokovic won his fourth Wimbledon title in June he posted an <a href="http://novakdjokovic.com/en/news/media/novaks-wimbledon-letter/">open letter</a> on his website about the mental hurdles he had to overcome to win. In the letter, he describes how injury and lack of motivation left him vulnerable while dealing with the mental hurdles he faced. </p>
<p>Djokovic also talked about how having compassion, gratitude and a sense of perspective enabled him to balance the demands of being a full-time athlete with having a family. Known as positive psychology, several other tennis players <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/07/tennis-player-grigor-dimitrov-wimbledon-alcohol-never-tried">have also reported</a> using similar techniques to help build and maintain a successful tennis career. </p>
<p>Gigor Dimitrov, the Bulgarian professional tennis player, for example, said the one ritual he never sidesteps is writing down three things he’s done that day that he should be <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/07/tennis-player-grigor-dimitrov-wimbledon-alcohol-never-tried">grateful</a> for. Similarly, Murray’s game plan includes being “<a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/andy-murray-note-reveals-secret-to-success-be-good-to-yourself-20150219-13isj8.html">good to himself</a>”. </p>
<h2>Positive psychology</h2>
<p>Research confirms what the world’s elite sports stars already know – that being kinder to yourself, and to others, and being grateful, is good for your mental health. </p>
<p>Barbara Fredrickson, a leading academic in positive psychology, for example, has shown how positive emotions such as kindness, compassion and gratitude <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3156028/">can help people feel happier</a>. Fredrickson tested a loving-kindness meditation intervention, which is a meditation training exercise designed to generate feelings of warmth and caring for the self and others. She found that people became more mindful, more self-accepting and they developed more positive relationships with others. Their <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3156028/">physical and mental health also improved</a></p>
<p>Then there’s also the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, Robert Emmon, whose <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/robert_emmons">research</a> shows that people who practice gratitude experience a range of physical and mental health benefits. These include fewer health complaints, more energy and determination, greater satisfaction with life, as well as more optimism and resilience.</p>
<h2>The gratitude project</h2>
<p>A team at Coventry University has been working with the Hope For The Community <a href="http://www.h4c.org.uk/">social enterprise company</a> to develop a range of positive psychology interventions called the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27278670">Hope Programme</a>. Over 5,000 people living with and affected by cancer, dementia, autism, multiple sclerosis and other long-term conditions have attended the programme, which is combined with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).</p>
<p>The gratitude activity is the most popular activity on the programme and so we decided take it on the road to spread the benefits. We created <a href="http://www.h4c.org.uk/">the Gratitude Wall</a>, an award-winning community art project that has toured museums, galleries, festivals, schools and workplaces, as a place to share what people are thankful for and learn about the benefits of <a href="http://www.h4c.org.uk/pages/news/gratitude-wall-community-art">practising gratitude</a>. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=535&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=535&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=535&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=672&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=672&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/234058/original/file-20180829-195331-dw8r5o.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=672&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">It’s important to take time out of your day to appreciate the positive things in your life.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Stan Wawrinka, another grand slam tennis champion, gets inspiration and perspective from the Samuel Beckett quote: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” It is <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/how-stanislas-wawrinka-failed-at-becoming-a-failure-20140122-3195v.html">tattooed on his arm</a>. We use the same quote to inspire our participants to overcome adversity in their lives and we share Wawrinka’s sentiments about getting the balance right between striving to do your best while accepting your limitations:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The meaning of the quote doesn’t change no matter how well you do. There is always disappointment, heartache. You are losing almost every tournament. You need to just accept it and be positive because you are going to lose and fail. We’re not all Nadal or Djokovic, who can win most tournaments.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>So whether you’re an elite athlete, a person living with a long-term health condition, or just someone who wants to feel happier in life, it’s possible that a regular practice of self-compassion and gratitude could help to make your world a better place.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/100552/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andy Turner is the CEO of Hope For The Community CIC</span></em></p>Research confirms what the world’s elite sports stars already know – being kinder to yourself, and to others, and being grateful is good for your mental health.Andy Turner, Professor Health Psychology, Coventry University, Coventry UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/972312018-08-06T16:22:39Z2018-08-06T16:22:39ZIs it good for you to be good?<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/230091/original/file-20180731-136661-1yvxsus.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There are physical, emotional, mental and even business benefits to being virtuous, kind and acting with integrity.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>When I was very young, five or six, my parents always told me: “Tommy, be good.”</p>
<p>But all I wanted to do was run in the woods, play in puddles, eat fast, swim and have fun. I didn’t have time for manners. Being good seemed always to benefit someone else, not me. Why do I have to follow rules, not cut in line, say pleasant things to others when all I feel like doing is telling them off. It’s good for others, right? </p>
<p>Well, yes … and maybe no. Maybe it’s good not just for others, but for me too. </p>
<p>It’s easy to see how following the rules of the road is good for you. But what about other more subtle virtues, like being polite, empathetic, generous, grateful, honest and even altruistic? </p>
<p><a href="http://www.hep.upenn.edu/%7Ejohnda/Papers/Virtue.pdf">The ancient Greeks had the view that virtue</a> was broader than our current understanding of morality. They believed virtue could be seen in any object, or in the behaviour of people, as the expression of excellence or perfection. For example, they felt one could hear virtue in music or see it in a horse. </p>
<figure class="align-right ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230095/original/file-20180731-136679-17m5mfd.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A horse named Virtue?</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In music, virtue might be described like it is in <a href="https://www.thoughtco.com/beethovens-ode-to-joy-lyrics-history-724410">Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” as heavenly</a>, and could be generalized as excellence. Physically, a horse that is healthy and flawless might be considered an excellent (virtuous) specimen of a horse. </p>
<p>The ancient Chinese also held a similar expansive view of virtue. They believed that the more virtuous a person was, the more physically healthy they were. It could be seen in the quality of their eyes and skin, and there were other positive consequences. A virtuous person <a href="https://philpapers.org/rec/CSIMVE">would live a healthy long life</a>, the Chinese believed.</p>
<p>If we think of human virtue as not limited to moral matters but also to physical, emotional and mental matters, then it’s possible to understand how being virtuous might be good for you. </p>
<h2>Physical health as virtue</h2>
<p>Take physically. We all know what it takes to be physically healthy: Good diet, exercise, adequate sleep, etc. One could say that when we do these things, we are being physically virtuous, and we attain the virtue of good health. </p>
<p>Similarly, from an emotional perspective, we know that having a positive social network, avoiding toxic people and having a positive state of mind by avoiding ruminating on anxious negative thoughts are ways in which we can practise being emotionally virtuous.</p>
<p>These examples illustrate that engaging in virtuous physical and emotional activities is good for you. </p>
<p>OK, so what about higher-level virtues such as generosity, gratitude and integrity? </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/230094/original/file-20180731-118933-1yta9zt.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">While there may not be a sculpture dedicated to you and your good deeds, being good is, in fact, good for you.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Shutterstock</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Considering generosity, Christian Smith and Hilary Davidson, authors of the book <em><a href="http://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780199394906.001.0001/acprof-9780199394906">The Paradox of Generosity: Giving We Receive, Grasping We Lose,</a></em>
argue: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“Generosity is paradoxical. By giving ourselves away, we ourselves move toward flourishing.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>They also note: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>“By grasping onto what we currently have, we lose out on better goods that we might have gained.” </p>
</blockquote>
<p>With respect to gratitude, U.S. psychology professor <a href="http://www.brainsync.com/blog/dr-robert-emmons-the-importance-of-gratitude/">Robert Emmons</a> has studied its impact on happiness and well-being and discovered that there is a positive relationship between gratitude and happiness. The more grateful we are, the happier we are.</p>
<p>These are matters of interpersonal affairs, but even in business there is an argument <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1542759">that integrity produces positive payback for individuals and firms.</a></p>
<p><a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1511274">Michael Jensen of Harvard Business School</a> defines integrity as: “A state or condition of being whole, complete, unbroken, unimpaired, sound, in perfect condition.” It’s essential to ensure optimal performance. There are clear parallels between Jensen’s notion of integrity and the ancient Greek notion of virtue as a kind of excellence.</p>
<p>From a human perspective, Jensen also defines integrity as “keeping one’s word,” meaning, in simple terms, doing what we say we’ll do and if unable to follow through as promised, then taking action to repair the damage or problems caused.</p>
<h2>Integrity leads to better performance</h2>
<p>We understand that an automobile will not perform properly if one of the tires is running low on air or is flat. You can probably still drive the car, but it doesn’t work very well. </p>
<p>When a vehicle is in good condition and has integrity, it performs effectively. Jensen argues, similarly, that when people within an organization act with integrity, the organization will perform much better.</p>
<hr>
<p>
<em>
<strong>
Read more:
<a href="https://theconversation.com/memo-to-gordon-gekko-ethics-not-greed-boost-profits-78983">Memo to Gordon Gekko: Ethics, not greed, boost profits</a>
</strong>
</em>
</p>
<hr>
<p>He provides the example of implementing integrity in his firm the <a href="https://www.ssrn.com/institutes/">Social Science Research Network</a> and experiencing increased output of 300 per cent with no increase in costs. Jensen argues that the interpersonal interactions of business people is a factor of productivity, just as effective utilization of capital and labour are necessary for the success of any company. </p>
<p>Jensen argues that integrity is not just an option — it’s a necessary condition for performance. </p>
<p>These are not unusual or unfamiliar ideas. We all have experiences with companies that we know we can trust, and those we don’t. It’s not difficult to imagine that trustworthy companies will enjoy customer loyalty, repeat business and likely better financial performance.</p>
<p>Is it good for Tommy to be good? As a child, I thought being good was for the benefit of others and it really wasn’t all that necessary. But I am learning at many levels that the virtues that contribute to good physical, emotional, mental and interpersonal health, defined as morals, are good for me too. </p>
<p>But one aside: If I am generous to you and expect something in return, this is not virtue. It’s a business exchange.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/97231/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Thomas Culham receives funding from the Morrison Foundation. </span></em></p>Research shows that virtue in all areas of life contributes to good physical, emotional, mental and interpersonal health. It is, in fact, good for you to be good.Thomas Culham, Visiting Lecturer, Beedie School of Business, Simon Fraser University, Simon Fraser UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/991772018-07-31T10:41:25Z2018-07-31T10:41:25ZThe lifesaving power of gratitude (or, why you should write that thank you note)<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229651/original/file-20180727-106496-6ge8b2.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">An attitude of gratitude may relieve stress, which in turn may lead to better health. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/young-woman-showing-her-heartfelt-gratitude-630624458?src=QtpbZNtlTSnznM0B9Cfytg-1-48">michaelhelm/Shutterstock.com</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Gratitude may be more beneficial than we commonly suppose. One <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797618772506">recent study</a> asked subjects to write a note of thanks to someone and then estimate how surprised and happy the recipient would feel – an impact that they consistently underestimated. <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/225805768_Letters_of_Gratitude_Further_Evidence_for_Author_Benefits">Another study</a> assessed the health benefits of writing thank you notes. The researchers found that writing as few as three weekly thank you notes over the course of three weeks improved life satisfaction, increased happy feelings and reduced symptoms of depression.</p>
<p>While this research into gratitude is relatively new, the principles involved are anything but. Students of mine in a political philosophy course at Indiana University are reading Daniel Defoe’s 300-year-old <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/521">“Robinson Crusoe</a>,” often regarded as the first novel published in English. Marooned alone on an unknown island with no apparent prospect of rescue or escape, Crusoe has much to lament. But instead of giving in to despair, he makes a list of things for which he is grateful, including the fact that he is the shipwreck’s sole survivor and has been able to salvage many useful items from the wreckage.</p>
<p>Defoe’s masterpiece, which is often <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/sep/30/100-best-books-robinson-crusoe">ranked</a> as one of the world’s greatest novels, provides a portrait of gratitude in action that is as timely and relevant today as it has ever been. It is also one with which contemporary psychology and medicine are just beginning to catch up. Simply put, for most of us, it is far more helpful to focus on the things in life for which we can express gratitude than those that incline us toward resentment and lamentation.</p>
<h2>The benefits of gratitude</h2>
<p>When we <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201509/6-mental-habits-will-wear-you-down">focus on the things we regret</a>, such as failed relationships, family disputes, and setbacks in career and finance, we tend to become more regretful. Conversely, when we <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201311/how-the-habit-gratitude-leads-happiness">focus on the things we are grateful for</a>, a greater sense of happiness tends to pervade our lives. And while no one would argue for cultivating a false sense of blessedness, there is <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2003-01140-012">mounting evidence</a> that counting our blessings is one of the best habits we can develop to promote mental and physical health.</p>
<figure class="align-left ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=898&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=898&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=898&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1129&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1129&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229653/original/file-20180727-106517-1fo4dci.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1129&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">A teenager in Malaysia gives thanks.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/sitiawan-perak-malaysia-march-72018-teenager-1053144461?src=Mqe4IHfKOuNWjNj4Qp73aA-1-11">Young Swee Ming/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
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</figure>
<p>Gratitude has long enjoyed a privileged position in many of the world’s faith traditions. For example, the Biblical Book of Psalms counsels gratitude that is both enduring and complete, saying, “I will give thanks to you forever” and “with my whole heart.” Martin <a href="http://bookofconcord.org/lc-1-intro.php">Luther writes</a> of gratitude as the heart of the Gospel, portraying it as not merely an attitude but a virtue to be put into practice. The <a href="http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=31&verse=12">Quran</a> recommends gratitude, saying “Whoever gives thanks benefits his own soul.”</p>
<p>Recent scientific studies support these ancient teachings. Individuals who <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/in-praise-of-gratitude">regularly engage</a> in gratitude exercises, such as counting their blessings or expressing gratitude to others, exhibit increased satisfaction with relationships and fewer symptoms of physical illness. And the benefits are not only psychological and physical. They may also be moral – those who <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02673843.2015.1067895">practice gratitude</a> also view their lives less materialistically and suffer from less envy.</p>
<h2>Why gratitude is good for you</h2>
<p>There are multiple explanations for such benefits of gratefulness. One is the fact that <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_put_giving_into_thanksgiving">expressing gratitude</a> encourages others to continue being generous, thus promoting a virtuous cycle of goodness in relationships. Similarly, grateful people may be more likely to reciprocate with acts of kindness of their own. Broadly speaking, a community in which people feel grateful to one another is likely to be a more pleasant place to live than one characterized by mutual suspicion and resentment.</p>
<p>The beneficial effects of gratitude may extend even further. For example, when many people <a href="http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0179123">feel good</a> about what someone else has done for them, they experience a sense of being lifted up, with a corresponding enhancement of their regard for humanity. Some are inspired to attempt to become better people themselves, doing more to help bring out the best in others and bringing more goodness into the world around them.</p>
<p>Gratitude also tends <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3010965/">to strengthen</a> a sense of connection with others. When people want to do good things that inspire gratitude, the level of dedication in relationships tends to grow and relationships seem to last longer. And when people feel more connected, they are more likely to choose to spend their time with one another and demonstrate their feelings of affection in daily acts.</p>
<p>Of course, acts of kindness can also foster discomfort. For example, if people feel they are not worthy of kindness or suspect that some ulterior motive lies behind it, the benefits of gratitude will not be realized. Likewise, <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Philip_Watkins/publication/247497268_The_Debt_of_Gratitude_Dissociating_Gratitude_and_Indebtedness/links/0a85e532b35553ea42000000.pdf">receiving a kindness</a> can give rise to a sense of indebtedness, leaving beneficiaries feeling that they must now pay back whatever good they have received. Gratitude can flourish only if people are secure enough in themselves and sufficiently trusting to allow it to do so.</p>
<p>Another <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327752jpa8301_04">obstacle to gratitude</a> is often called a sense of entitlement. Instead of experiencing a benefaction as a good turn, people sometimes regard it as a mere payment of what they are owed, for which no one deserves any moral credit. While seeing that justice is done is important, supplanting all opportunities for genuine feelings and expressions of generosity can also produce a more impersonal and fragmented community.</p>
<h2>Practicing gratitude</h2>
<p>There are a number of <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.22020">practical steps</a> anyone can take to promote a sense of gratitude. One is simply spending time on a regular basis thinking about someone who has made a difference, or perhaps writing a thank you note or expressing such gratitude in person. Others are found in ancient religious disciplines, such as meditating on benefactions received from another person or actually praying for the health and happiness of a benefactor.</p>
<p>In addition to benefactions received, it is also possible to focus on opportunities to do good oneself, whether those acted on in the past or hoped for in the future. Some people are most grateful not for what others have done for them but for chances they enjoyed to help others. To envision gratitude at its best, <a href="http://www.iupress.indiana.edu/product_info.php?products_id=68173">imagine</a> a person hoping and perhaps even praying for an opportunity to make a difference in someone else’s life.</p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/229657/original/file-20180727-106517-mtp0b8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">An island that may resemble the one on which Robinson Crusoe was marooned.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/island-robinson-crusoe-678139999?src=dxbwNMQI2ByB5R5dJFybIg-1-2">Nikos38/Shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In regularly reflecting on the things in his life he is grateful for, Defoe’s Crusoe believes that he becomes a far better person than he would have been had he remained in the society from which he originally set out on his voyage:</p>
<p>“I gave humble and hearty thanks that God had been pleased to discover to me, even that it was possible I might be more happy in this solitary condition, than I should have been a liberty of society, and all the pleasures of the world… It was now that I began sensibly to feel how much more happy this life I now led was, with all its miserable circumstances, than the wicked, cursed, abominable life I led all the past part of my days.”</p>
<p>Reflecting on generosity and gratitude, the great basketball coach John Wooden once offered <a href="http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/xx-wooden-seven-point-creed-84181">two counsels</a> to his players and students. First, he said, “It is impossible to have a perfect day unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.” In saying this, Wooden sought to promote purely generous acts, as opposed to those performed with an expectation of recompense. Second, he said, “Give thanks for your blessings every day.”</p>
<p>Some faith traditions <a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/2001/11/thank-you-god.aspx">incorporate</a> such practices into the rhythm of daily life. For example, adherents of some religions offer prayers of thanksgiving every morning before rising and every night before lying down to sleep. Others offer thanks throughout the day, such as before meals. Other less frequent special events, such as births, deaths and marriages, may also be heralded by such prayers.</p>
<p>When Defoe depicted Robinson Crusoe making thanksgiving a daily part of his island life, he was anticipating findings in social science and medicine that would not appear for hundreds of years. Yet he was also reflecting the wisdom of religious and philosophical traditions that extend back thousands of years. Gratitude is one of the healthiest and most nourishing of all states of mind, and those who adopt it as a habit are enriching not only their own lives but also the lives of those around them.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/99177/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Richard Gunderman does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Most parents try to teach their children to feel grateful. Now, some therapists and doctors are encouraging people to focus on gratitude, as studies show that gratitude can be good for health.Richard Gunderman, Chancellor's Professor of Medicine, Liberal Arts, and Philanthropy, Indiana UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/1005552018-07-26T10:36:59Z2018-07-26T10:36:59ZWhy the rescued Thai soccer team has ordained as Buddhist novice monks<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/229314/original/file-20180725-194152-9ixsjn.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Members of the team who were rescued from a flooded cave prepare to be ordained to become Buddhist novices and monks.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">AP Photo/Sakchai Lalit</span></span></figcaption></figure><p>After their <a href="https://theconversation.com/inside-the-sacred-danger-of-thailands-caves-99638">dramatic rescue from Nang Non cave</a>, the Thai boys and their soccer coach have <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/thai-cave-boys-monks-novices-monastery-rescue-football-team-a8461791.html">ordained as novice monks</a> for a period of nine days, as a part of paying respect to the Thai Navy SEAL, <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/videos/world/2018/07/06/thai-cave-diver-dies-rivers-vpx.cnn">Saman Gunan</a>, who died during the efforts to save them. </p>
<p>Ordaining as a full monk – known as “bhikkhu” in Pali, the religious language of the Theravada Buddhism – is only available to men over 20. Only the coach has become a full monk. Eleven of the boys, excluding one who is a Christian, are instead ordained as novices, or “nen,” who undergo fewer restrictions. </p>
<p>This act of ordaining is not surprising. In Theravada Buddhist practice, ordaining to be a monk and donating the merit thus gained is one of the greatest honors that a person can give to another. </p>
<h2>Monasticism in Thai life</h2>
<p>Monks in Southeast Asia, with their saffron robes and shaven heads, are iconic. They can be seen on the roadside with alms bowls, accepting handfuls of rice from villagers in early morning processions, or gathered in the evenings chanting Pali scriptures in the Buddhist temples that lie at the heart of most Thai villages. In <a href="https://anthropology.princeton.edu/people/faculty/andrew-johnson">my own</a> <a href="https://www.uhpress.hawaii.edu/title/ghosts-of-the-new-city-spirits-urbanity-and-the-ruins-of-progress-in-chiang-mai/">research</a>, I spent hours talking with monks – from abbots of major temples to those who had been ordained for a short period. </p>
<p>I also met monks engaged in “magical” activities such as healing, to those who saw their role as scholars. My first impression, like that of many travelers, was of a group of men seeking enlightenment through isolation from the world.</p>
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<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/227891/original/file-20180716-44097-wasrou.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=502&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
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<span class="caption">Meditating Buddhist monks in Thailand.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
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<p>Indeed, this isolation is at the core of <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-us/Theravada+Buddhism%3A+Continuity%2C+Diversity%2C+and+Identity-p-9781405189064">Buddhist teachings</a>. For Buddhists, worldly desires lead to suffering. Therefore, cessation of desires can lead to happiness and eventually enlightenment. </p>
<p>But monks are not a homogeneous group. Buddhists join the monkhood – the “sangha” - for many different reasons, only some of which are related to achieving transcendence and enlightenment. While some may choose to remain monks for their entire lives, most Buddhists ordain for a limited period. Thai Buddhists with whom I’ve worked have ordained for a few months during childhood, for the length of the rainy season, or even just for a day before undertaking a dangerous journey or following the death of a parent. </p>
<p>Buddhism, as it is practiced in Thailand, addresses many worldly needs. It takes into consideration the lives of people who are not necessarily ready to renounce the world quite yet. </p>
<h2>Monastic education</h2>
<p>Before the advent of government-run schools in the late 19th century, the Buddhist temple was the key institution for the education of young boys in Thailand. Boys as young as 5 <a href="http://admin.cambridge.org/ck/academic/subjects/anthropology/social-and-cultural-anthropology/buddhism-and-spirit-cults-north-east-thailand">entered the temple to learn to read and write</a>, and to study the basics of Buddhism.</p>
<p>When Theravada came to Southeast Asia from India in <a href="https://cseas.yale.edu/harry-jindrich-benda">the second millennium A.D.</a>, replacing local versions of Hinduism and Mahayana Buddhism, this religious focus on promoting education within the village was revolutionary, as it became a central part of village life.</p>
<p>Theravada was focused not on the trappings of kingship and rule, but on serving communities. The temple in the center of the village served as the school, fairgrounds, hostel and welfare office in addition to its role as a religious center. </p>
<p>Today, this role of educating Thai boys has largely been replaced by government-run schools. This transition has allowed for the education of girls. </p>
<p>But some Buddhist schools remain, especially in Thailand’s North, that keep a focus on mostly men’s religious education. They teach the local Northern Thai script (distinct from Central Thai and largely fallen out of use) in addition to the religious languages of Pali and Sanskrit. </p>
<h2>Karma and merit</h2>
<p>But education is not the only reason to seek to be ordained. </p>
<p>Most Thai men get ordained in order to make merit – known as “tham bun.” Devoting oneself to the study of the Buddha’s teachings, the dharma, is one of the most holy acts that one can do. Buddhists who get ordained are believed to acquire a great deal of bun, or merit.</p>
<p>For Buddhists, this life is but one in a cycle of deaths and rebirths, where the good deeds one does in the past determine where and in what form – human, animal, divine being – one is reborn. Eventually, over many lifetimes, enough knowledge and merit will allow for escape from this cycle and transcendence.</p>
<p>But as anthropologist <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/40860364?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents">Lucien Hanks</a> described, in Thai religious system, <a href="http://ehrafworldcultures.yale.edu/ehrafe/citation.do?method=citation&forward=browseAuthorsFullContext&id=ao07-028">practitioners can donate and receive merit from others</a>. Normally, the recipient of the merit are parents. It is a way to thank them for their sacrifices. </p>
<p>The boys and their coach, however, are offering the merit they will make to Officer Saman, in order to ensure a better rebirth in his next life. </p>
<h2>The obligation of a gift</h2>
<p>Like many languages, Thai has certain concepts that do not translate well into English. One of these, “<a href="http://www.thai-language.com/id/134305#def2">krengjai</a>,” refers to the feeling of obligation toward someone who has given a gift too great to repay. It is a heavy feeling. </p>
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<span class="caption">Thais at a cleansing ceremony and memorial service for Saman Gunan, the Navy SEAL officer, who lost his life during the rescue operation.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">AP Photo/Vincent Thian</span></span>
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</figure>
<p>For observers, it is easy to imagine the gratitude that the boys must feel to Officer Saman, but it is just as easy to overlook the sense of responsibility that must weigh on the boys as well. As the classic anthropological theorist <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Marcel-Mauss">Marcel Mauss</a> <a href="http://www.anthrobase.com/Dic/eng/pers/mauss_marcel.htm">pointed out</a>, gifts come with obligations, and the sacrifice of a life is no different. </p>
<p>In this way, the boys become monks not to reflect upon their own fate or experience in the cave. Rather, they are doing this to repay Saman’s sacrifice with the greatest gift that they can offer.</p>
<p><em>This is an updated version of an article <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-rescued-thai-boys-are-considering-becoming-monks-heres-why-99992">first published</a> on July 17, 2018.</em></p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/100555/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Andrew Alan Johnson receives funding from Princeton University. He is affiliated with the Association for Asian Studies and the American Anthropological Association. </span></em></p>In Theravada Buddhism, ordaining to be a monk and donating the merit thus gained is one of the greatest honors that a person can give to another – in this case to the late Navy SEAL officer.Andrew Alan Johnson, Assistant Professor of Anthropology, Princeton UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/971622018-06-19T18:43:31Z2018-06-19T18:43:31ZYoga isn’t timeless: it’s changing to meet contemporary needs<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/223879/original/file-20180619-126537-1uinky5.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">International Yoga Day in London 2017 in Trafalgar Square</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Anna Sunderland Engels.</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>On June 21, for <a href="http://www.un.org/en/events/yogaday/">International Yoga Day</a>, people will take out their yoga mats and practice sun salutations or sit in meditation. Yoga may have originated in ancient India, but today is practiced all over the world. </p>
<p>In the United States, it was philosophers such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau who first engaged with the philosophy of yoga in the 1830s. Yoga gained a wider American audience only in the late 1800s. </p>
<p>Today, part of yoga’s appeal is that it continues to be seen as a mystical, ancient tradition. However, as I’ve discovered in <a href="https://www.jdengels.com/scholarship.html">my research</a>, the practice of yoga has gone through some profound shifts. Here are four.</p>
<h2>1. Yoga for health and happiness</h2>
<p>It was a Hindu reformer, <a href="https://vedanta.org/our-teachers/swami-vivekananda/">Swami Vivekananda</a>, who first introduced yoga to a larger audience. Vivekananda originally came to the United States to seek funds to relieve poverty in India. Several electrifying addresses he delivered at the <a href="https://parliamentofreligions.org/parliament/chicago-1893">World’s Parliament of Religions</a>, the world’s first global interfaith dialogue held in 1893 in Chicago, brought him instant fame. He then traveled around the U.S. for the next several years, giving lectures and teaching yoga. </p>
<p>Vivekananda revived the tradition of an ancient Indian sage, <a href="https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/who-was-patanjali">Patanjali</a>, that had been almost forgotten. Patanjali likely lived in India somewhere between the first century B.C. or the fourth century A.D. He claimed that the goal of yoga was <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=i7yoPwAACAAJ&dq=encyclopedia+of+yoga&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiqr8idnqvbAhWytlkKHf8zBqMQ6AEIKTAA">isolation from existence</a> and freedom from the bonds of mortal life. </p>
<p>According to <a href="http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Yoga-Sutra-of-Patanjali/Georg-Feuerstein/9780892812622">Patanjali</a>, to overcome suffering, individuals needed to renounce the very comforts and attachments that seem to make life worth living for many today. As the journalist Michelle Goldberg, author of <a href="http://www.michellegoldberg.net/the-goddess-pose/">“The Goddess Pose,”</a> puts it, Patanjali’s yoga “is a tool of self-obliteration rather than self-actualization.”</p>
<p>No one today is likely to see yoga as a way to renounce their existence. Most people are drawn to yoga to find happiness, health and compassion in everyday life. </p>
<h2>2. Value of physical exercise</h2>
<p>Most people today associate yoga closely with physical exercise and postures, known as asanas, designed to strengthen and stretch the body. There is more to yoga, however, than the physical. Yoga also encompasses devotion, contemplation and meditation. In fact, the primary focus on the body would surprise both Patanjali and Vivekananda, who prioritized mental over physical exercise.</p>
<p>Patanjali treated the body with disdain, believing it to be a prison. He was emphatic that we are not our bodies, and that any attachment to our bodies is an impediment to yoga. Vivekananda <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=tUgBIrn5REwC&printsec=frontcover&dq=yoga+body&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjIl8GZnKvbAhWpq1kKHfMeD5IQ6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=yoga%20body&f=false">echoed</a> these thoughts. He treated asanas with scorn. Vivekananda argued that an obsessive focus on the body distracts from the true practice of yoga: meditation. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223908/original/file-20180619-126534-1akysjm.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Asanas, or exercise poses, are central to today’s practice of yoga.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Anna Sunderland Engels</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>In contrast, <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=tUgBIrn5REwC&printsec=frontcover&dq=yoga+body&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjIl8GZnKvbAhWpq1kKHfMeD5IQ6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=yoga%20body&f=false">contemporary practitioners embrace asana as central to yoga.</a> Contemporary yogis recognize that the mind, and the soul, is embodied. By “<a href="http://www.laraheimann.com/blog/get-smart-in-your-yoga">getting smart in their yoga</a>,” contemporary yogis attend to their bodies, and also to their emotions, because the health of the body impacts the ability to see clearly and act deliberately. </p>
<h2>3. Focusing on the self</h2>
<p>A central practice of yoga is self-study, known in Sanskrit as “<a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=i7yoPwAACAAJ&dq=encyclopedia+of+yoga&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiqr8idnqvbAhWytlkKHf8zBqMQ6AEIKTAA">svadhyaya</a>.” In the tradition of Patanjali, this means “<a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=yivABQAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=Bryant+yoga+sutras&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiK3vn1nqvbAhXmzVkKHdRcAl8Q6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=scared%20scriptures&f=false">the reading of sacred scriptures.</a>” </p>
<p>Today, svadhyaya has come to mean the study of oneself. People often take up the practice of yoga to lead happier, less stressed and more compassionate lives.
Yoga involves, as I argue in my book <a href="http://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">“The Art of Gratitude,”</a> paying attention to one’s habits. Only by first noticing one’s habitual patterns does it become possible to change them.</p>
<p>Sacred texts, broadly understood, can help this practice of self-study, as they encourage reflection on deep and difficult questions that do not have easy answers. For today’s practitioners, these questions include: What is the purpose of life? How can I live an ethical life? And, what would truly make me happy? </p>
<p>Ultimately, self-study resides at the heart of a healthy yoga practice. It allows yogis to recognize their deep connection to others and the world around them. This recognition of interdependence and interbeing is central to today’s yoga.</p>
<h2>4. Ethics of a yoga guru</h2>
<p>In ancient practice, the relationship between a guru and a student was crucial. Today, the guru-student model is going through a shift. Yogis no longer train for years in their guru’s home, as was the practice in ancient India. Yogis instead practice in studios, in parks, at fitness centers, or at home on their own. </p>
<p>Still, many contemporary yoga teachers claim the title of “guru.” </p>
<p>However, some practitioners of yoga <a href="https://yogainternational.com/article/view/does-the-guru-student-model-work-in-modern-yoga">are calling for an end to the guru model</a>, given that it comes with an inherent power, which opens the door to abuse. There are many examples of such abuse, with a more recent one being the case of <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/07/opinion/yoga-code-of-ethics-bikram-choudhury.html">Bikram Choudhury</a>, the 73-year-old founder of Bikram yoga, who fled the country to avoid an arrest warrant in California in 2017 after being accused of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/18/bikram-hot-yoga-scandal-choudhury-what-he-wanted">sexual assault</a>. </p>
<p>In the wake of the <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/10/the-movement-of-metoo/542979/">#MeToo movement</a> in the <a href="https://theconversation.com/metoo-in-the-art-world-genius-should-not-excuse-sexual-harassment-91554">United States</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/metoo-is-riding-a-new-wave-of-feminism-in-india-89842">India</a>, many yoga practitioners have initiated <a href="https://www.yogaalliance.org/Learn/Article_Archive/A_Response_to_Recent_Allegations_of_Misconduct">important conversations</a> about the ethics of being a yoga teacher. At the heart of these conversations is how yoga teachers must, above all else, treat their students, who are often deeply vulnerable, with dignity and respect. </p>
<h2>Ancient, but not timeless</h2>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=399&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/223882/original/file-20180619-126550-5ohmo8.JPG?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=501&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">International Yoga Day in London’s Trafalgar Square, 2017.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Anna Sunderland Engels.</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Indeed, there is great power, and great mystique, in just how old yoga is. </p>
<p>But as a professor of communication, I observe that one of the most common errors people make in daily conversation is to appeal to antiquity – what scholars call the “argumentum ad antiquitatem” fallacy – which says that something is good simply because it is old, and because it has always been done this way. </p>
<p>Yoga is ancient, but it is not timeless. By stopping for a moment to consider yoga’s past, we can recognize the crucial role that all of us can and must play in shaping its future.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/97162/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jeremy David Engels does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Part of yoga’s appeal is that it is seen as a mystical, ancient tradition. The truth is, the practice of yoga today is profoundly different from those ancient ways.Jeremy David Engels, Sherwin Early Career Professor in the Rock Ethics Institute, and Associate Professor of Communication Arts and Sciences, Penn StateLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/882272018-01-01T14:18:41Z2018-01-01T14:18:41ZThis new year – rethinking gratitude<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/200253/original/file-20171220-4954-975yux.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">What really is the art of gratitude?</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/trickydame/4490740195/in/photolist-7QQdB6-mLJHZr-58WSUM-bmX2Vw-2sp8uo-2EshPF-aVqXDg-9DeEob-ZokiVE-5S1j2Q-4eiU38-pAzvaj-bBDSF6-pLeW5D-ZokisW-XSCVCb-hxNqFa-siRaoU-bXFxry-6rqcCG-9sYSuK-aQjUFB-XJRpj9-btRDML-e5QtDb-49d9hD-uie-5rEcx6-aHRmfF-7ewbVH-hxMs7j-Wnh9V1-8GD5cb-bsbGgo-7vng2o-e7KwX5-uAGWCe-TBpWpP-p2xh91-R9zP5u-36QYy4-7ewbZ6-nkVMWQ-RHWM1A-8W1efW-7nsx69-8qp7nU-6Thfdh-9v6dNf-n38s2P">Joanne Morton</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>It’s a new year, which means that it’s also time to imagine new beginnings and better futures. It’s time, in short, for New Year’s resolutions. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/01/04/5-new-years-resolutions-that-will-help-you-build-mental-strength-in-2017/#13a4819c219d">Gratitude,</a> in particular, <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/monika-szamko/all-i-want-for-the-new-ye_b_8906362.html">has become a popular resolution</a>. For many of us, living gratefully seems to promise more <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/opinion/sunday/choose-to-be-grateful-it-will-make-you-happier.html">happiness</a> in our lives.</p>
<p>But what if we’ve got gratitude all wrong? </p>
<p>I began writing my book <a href="http://www.sunypress.edu/p-6539-the-art-of-gratitude.aspx">“The Art of Gratitude”</a> because I too believed that gratitude might offer an antidote to <a href="http://www.psupress.org/books/titles/978-0-271-06664-6.html">the anger, fear and resentment</a> that characterize contemporary life. But as I read one self-help book about gratitude after another, it had the opposite effect on me. The more I read, the less grateful I felt. </p>
<p>I came to ask, does the problem lie in how gratitude tends to be defined? </p>
<h2>The debt of gratitude</h2>
<p>Gratitude is often defined as a feeling of obligation and indebtedness toward those who give us a gift or help us out in some way. Consider how often many of us use the phrase, “I owe you a debt of gratitude,” or “One good turn deserves another.” </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200254/original/file-20171220-4968-1ngwoaj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">What is the framework of gratitude?</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/eekim/2692411332/in/photolist-56Vj63-56R7dP-56VmXC-aFuVve-7dV6yZ-218pJXd-9hcv9g-7egHqA-6LdRY-7egHmJ-7JH2MU-8W4wxx-9KkNbq-7dabNd-kZQvLC-a8qsWa-7j4aeY-7eRsbo-dvT2zZ-7j4apS-dpDB7T-5qdpDb-7iruyJ-7j4a8j-7eRs6L-7eRs9b-FmuM7r-7eMy3n-7fhP6h-7eRs5G-7fdWkn-7iZhrn-7P4Z5C-7j4agN-ee94iF-7iZhtH-7hDwHg-7fhP9J-9zwFVA-9pmfg-mQSfcy-4spbqH-bmT6BM-95rqof-7eMxZn-7eMxX4-aQkoqi-nkVMV7-4uAg8k-7iDEru">Eugene Kim</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>The debt of gratitude idea dates back to the foundations of Western culture, to Aristotle, Cicero and the New Testament.</p>
<p>According to a leading contemporary expert on gratitude, UC Davis psychology professor <a href="http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/people/raemmons">Robert Emmons</a>, “To be grateful means to allow oneself to be placed in the position of recipient – to feel <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=2OyzetozsTsC&printsec=frontcover&dq=emmons+thanks!&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiezIuriu7XAhVEheAKHZD5CXsQ6AEIKDAA#v=onepage&q=indebted&f=false">indebted</a> and aware of one’s dependence on others.” Or, as Emmons argues <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=Qz4nhZ3ZMmgC&printsec=frontcover&dq=Emmons+and+McCullough,+The+Psychology+of+Gratitude&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiOuMLYg5fYAhWOQ98KHdg0AJUQ6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=Emmons%20and%20McCullough%2C%20The%20Psychology%20of%20Gratitude&f=false">elsewhere</a>, gratitude is “an acknowledgement of debt,” and ingratitude “the refusal to admit one’s debt to others.”</p>
<p>In this framework, people are debtors and the givers of debt. <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=8JWm-wo0lE0C&printsec=frontcover&dq=shelly+kagan+death&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi7iOH6hJfYAhWqkeAKHWYiDo8Q6wEIKjAA#v=onepage&q&f=false">According to</a> philosopher <a href="https://philosophy.yale.edu/people/shelly-kagan">Shelly Kagan</a>, “If someone does you a favor, you owe them something; you owe them a debt of gratitude.” People judge the value of others based on what they can offer. <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=2OyzetozsTsC&printsec=frontcover&dq=emmons+thanks&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi2vM-YhpfYAhVCQt8KHSvOCcsQ6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=emmons%20thanks&f=false">Emmons writes</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“Gratitude requires that a giver give not only a gift but also a gift dear to himself – a ‘pearl of great price,’ as it were. … The degree to which we feel gratitude always hinges on this internal, secret assessment of cost: It is intrinsic to the emotion, and perfectly logical, that we don’t feel all that grateful for gifts that we receive that cost little or nothing to the giver.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>In other words, gifts and kindnesses involve a calculation of “cost,” which extends to repayment: Gifts are calculated gestures that must be repaid with <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Gratitude.html?id=t5JlQgAACAAJ">an expression of thanks and, if possible, reciprocal gifts</a>. </p>
<p>Thinking in such terms might encourage people to see their relationships in economic terms – as transactions to be judged by market criteria of gain and loss.</p>
<p>To that end, the Christian radio show host Nancy Leigh DeMoss <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=wRcROOHt45MC&printsec=frontcover&dq=DeMoss,+Choosing+Gratitude&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjugIfehZfYAhUFhuAKHRfSB2YQ6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=DeMoss%2C%20Choosing%20Gratitude&f=false">advises</a> keeping a gratitude journal just like a bank statement or a checkbook registry, as a place to manage gratitude debts.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“I want to encourage you to think of gratitude as being a debt you owe, the same way you’re called upon to pay your monthly bills.” </p>
</blockquote>
<h2>The art of gratitude</h2>
<p>Gratitude is about more than individual happiness. My happiness is bound with yours and with everyone else’s. </p>
<p>Gratitude authors, who <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=2OyzetozsTsC&printsec=frontcover&dq=emmons+thanks!&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiezIuriu7XAhVEheAKHZD5CXsQ6AEIKDAA#v=onepage&q=indebted&f=false">urge us to focus</a> on the debts we owe to others, are reminding us of this fact. I, however, <a href="http://www.psupress.org/books/titles/978-0-271-06664-6.html">argue</a> in “The Art of Gratitude” that the rhetoric of the debt of gratitude sets us down a dangerous road. The trouble is that the value of our relationships cannot be calculated with numbers on the page, and trying to do so might make us miss out on what is most important. </p>
<p>Take, for example, a recent gift I received – of a nice aluminum water bottle. A friend said that she saw it and thought of me. Of course, I thanked her. But rather than immediately calculate the cost of the gift and determine how I would repay her, I asked: “Why did you choose a water bottle?” </p>
<p>She told me where she grew up in the United States, she did not have access to clean water. I travel a lot, and she wanted me to take clean water with me wherever I went. Moreover, she hoped that it would help to cut down on plastic bottle waste, because, she said, we all share this planet. </p>
<p>I might have missed all of this had I only pondered on how best to repay it. Instead, this gift prompted a conversation that reminded me of our fundamental interconnectedness. My actions, she was saying, impacted her life, just as her actions impacted my own. </p>
<figure class="align-center ">
<img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/200256/original/file-20171220-4980-17liick.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px">
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Gratitude is an opportunity, not a debt.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/silhouette-woman-meditatingpeace-mind-293225381?src=IcWoehWE_2EFvDrda9dFeA-3-83">InesBazdar via www.shutterstock.com</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<h2>This interconnected world</h2>
<p>It is crucial to recognize that our daily practices of gratitude have broader social and political implications.</p>
<p>Say I feel gratitude for access to clean air in Central Pennsylvania. I feel this gratitude because I grew up with asthma, and I know how hard it can be to breathe polluted air. I need not feel indebted to anyone for this clean air. Clean air is not a gift. I am grateful because clean air is necessary for life.</p>
<p>Same is true for clean water. There is currently, however, <a href="http://www.statecollege.com/news/local-news/coalition-plans-to-sue-penn-state-if-whitehall-road-land-sale-to-toll-brothers-goes-through,1474874/">a potentially grave challenge to clean water in Centre County</a>, Pennsylvania, where I live. </p>
<p>Looking through grateful eyes, attuned to the support necessary to live and thrive, I can recognize a threat to clean water as a personal threat. Though it is personal, it cannot be remedied alone. I must reach out to others who will also be affected, so that we can act together to manage it.</p>
<p>The takeaway of my book is that indebtedness is not the only way to relate. Examples like these prove that all of us are deeply dependent upon the material support of the earth, and that also speaks to our interconnectedness. </p>
<p>My resolution this year is therefore to practice the art of gratitude by imagining my life, and the world in which I live, as an opportunity, not a debt. I resolve to focus on what is necessary, and to work together with others to make it possible for all to live and to live well, because we live together. I hope that you will join me.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/88227/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Jeremy David Engels does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>Why you might be getting gratitude all wrong.Jeremy David Engels, Sherwin Early Career Professor in the Rock Ethics Institute, and Associate Professor of Communication Arts and Sciences, Penn StateLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/868192017-11-20T20:21:32Z2017-11-20T20:21:32ZHow advertising shaped Thanksgiving as we know it<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195258/original/file-20171117-19320-1mepc57.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Libby's continues to fiercely compete with pumpkin pie peddlers Borden’s, Snowdrift and Mrs. Smith's for a place on the Thanksgiving table. </span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=207397&picture=pumpkin-pie">Jean Beaufort</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>I have always been intrigued by Thanksgiving – the traditions, the meal, the idea of a holiday that is simply about being thankful. </p>
<p>For my family, Thanksgiving is all about the food. Some foods, like turkey and mashed potatoes, may be familiar. But there are a few twists. Since I grew up in the Caribbean, I’m allowed a Caribbean dish or two. The reliability of the menu – with a little flexibility sprinkled in – seems to unite us as a family while acknowledging our different cultural backgrounds. </p>
<p>Chances are you and your family have similar traditions. Filipino-American families might include <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancit">pancit</a>. Russian-American families might serve a side dish of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borscht">borscht</a>. That’s what makes Thanksgiving unique. It’s a holiday embraced by people regardless of their religion or ethnicity. </p>
<p>Yet despite this adaptability, there’s a core part of the meal that almost everyone embraces. How did this come to be? Although few appreciate it, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0276146717697359">advertisers have shaped the meal</a> as much as family tradition.</p>
<h2>A uniquely broad appeal</h2>
<p>When Sarah Josepha Hale, the editor of Godey’s Lady’s Book, first advocated for Thanksgiving as a national holiday in 1846, she argued that it would unify the country. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijresmar.2016.05.006">In our research</a>, my colleagues and I have been able to show that Hale’s vision for the holiday has been largely fulfilled: Inclusivity of people and traditions has been Thanksgiving’s hallmark quality. </p>
<p>A reason for its broad appeal is that it lacks any association with an institutionalized religion. As one interviewee told us, “There is no other purpose than to sit down with your family and be thankful.” And after interviewing a range of people – from those born in the U.S. to immigrants from countries like South Africa, Australia and China – it became obvious that the principles and rituals they embraced during the holiday were universal no matter the culture: family, food and gratitude.</p>
<p>But as a relatively new holiday – one not tied to a religious or patriotic tradition – a shared understanding of the celebration and the meal is crucial to ensure its long-term survival. </p>
<p>While there might be subtle variations, the Thanksgiving meal is the lodestone of the holiday, the magnet that brings people together. Today, familiar items constitute the meal: turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, gravy, alcohol, salad, apple pie and pumpkin pie. Many of our interviewees tended to serve some version of this list. </p>
<p>But why these items and not others? What makes turkey, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie so special? My colleagues and I <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0276146717697359">studied 99 years of Thanksgiving ads</a> in Good Housekeeping magazine to find out.</p>
<h2>Marketing a ritual</h2>
<p>Starting with Thanksgiving’s early champion, Sarah Josepha Hale, the history of Thanksgiving is rooted in marketing. Marketers not only helped create many of the rituals and cultural myths associated with the Thanksgiving meal, but they also legitimized and maintained them. </p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=1198&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=1198&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=1198&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1505&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1505&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195500/original/file-20171120-18538-1k9s3gg.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1505&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Aladdin Cooking Utensils advertises its double roaster in a 1920 issue of Good Housekeeping.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Good Housekeeping</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Initially, the Thanksgiving turkey competed with other meats, like duck, chicken and goose, for centerpiece at the Thanksgiving table. </p>
<p>But by the 1920s, turkey had become the only meat advertised. Early ads would focus on how to prepare and present the perfect bird, promoting branded tools like roasters, ranges, pop-up thermometers and oven-cooking bags. </p>
<p>Iconic Swift’s Premium turkey <a href="https://library.duke.edu/digitalcollections/media/jpg/oaaaarchives/med/BBB4925.jpg">ads</a> focused on the sacredness of the meal by featuring families at prayer, giving thanks before the meal begins. The importance of the turkey to the Thanksgiving celebration dominates, helping to perpetuate the Thanksgiving turkey tradition. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, early ads for the Eatmor Cranberry Company positioned their whole cranberries as a perfect complement to any and all Thanksgiving meat dishes. This brand dominated until the 1930s when another brand, Ocean Spray, entered with its canned gelatin cranberry sauce. </p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=692&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=692&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=692&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=869&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=869&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195501/original/file-20171120-18538-18zoqwh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=869&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Eatmor Cranberries – which used to be the king of Thanksgiving cranberry sauce – advertises in a November 1926 issue of Good Housekeeping.</span>
<span class="attribution"><span class="source">Good Housekeeping</span></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Ads for both brands implied that cranberry sauce has been around since the first Thanksgiving dinner, <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-the-first-thanksgiving-dinner-actually-looked-like-85714">which was highly unlikely</a>. However, the brand positioning war successfully promoted cranberry sauce as the natural condiment for the Thanksgiving turkey. Ocean Spray would triumph and, to this day, promotes whole cranberries and canned gelatin.</p>
<p>Considered by many to be the quintessential Thanksgiving dessert, pumpkin pie also wasn’t present at the first Thanksgiving meal. (The Pilgrims lacked the butter, wheat flour and sugar to make the pastry.) Nonetheless, beginning as early as 1925, a range of brands – for example, Borden’s, Snowdrift, Mrs. Smith’s and Libby’s – have competed fiercely to connect pumpkin pie to the season, the holiday and the meal. It’s a rivalry that continues to this day. </p>
<h2>The role of the consumer</h2>
<p>Not every product category or brand succeeded in becoming a core part of the Thanksgiving meal. </p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=795&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=795&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=795&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=999&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=999&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/195260/original/file-20171117-19285-l9rwh3.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=999&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">A Swift’s Premium Turkey ad from 1964.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/wishbook/8248306128">Wishbook</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>A Welch’s ad from the 1960s implies that the first Thanksgiving meal included juice made from grapes. In 1928, Diamond marketed their walnuts as an accessory to dress up Thanksgiving dishes. Despite vociferous ad campaigns, few associate Welch’s grape juice or Diamond walnuts with Thanksgiving today.</p>
<p>But those early 20th-century ads for turkey clearly resonated: Today, nearly <a href="http://www.eatturkey.com/why-turkey/history">88 percent</a> of U.S. households have turkey on Thanksgiving, and approximately <a href="http://www.eatturkey.com/why-turkey/history">20 percent</a> of the turkeys consumed in any given year are consumed at Thanksgiving. This is a testament to the enduring influence of marketing on the holiday. For brands like Butterball (formerly Swift’s Premium), Thanksgiving is big business.</p>
<p>Whether you’re a turkey fan or not, prefer apple pie to pumpkin pie, enjoy canned gelatin over whole cranberry sauce, by celebrating Thanksgiving, you play a role as well. Marketers may have shaped many of the rituals of the holiday. But all Americans – from all backgrounds – certainly do their part to maintain them.</p>
<p>After all, brands need customers to survive.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/86819/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Samantha N. N. Cross does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.</span></em></p>At one point, turkey was jockeying with duck and chicken for king of the Thanksgiving table.Samantha N. N. Cross, Associate Professor of Marketing, Iowa State UniversityLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.tag:theconversation.com,2011:article/309202014-09-04T20:04:03Z2014-09-04T20:04:03ZMore than words: saying ‘thank you’ does make a difference<figure><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58185/original/ppz2gcmg-1409788415.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=496&fit=clip" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Two little words can say so much.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/ilyaericlee/58742420">Flickr/Ilya Lee</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/">CC BY-ND</a></span></figcaption></figure><p>Most of us were taught that saying “thank you” is simply the polite thing to do. But recent research in social psychology suggests that saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners – it also serves to build and maintain social relationships.</p>
<p>This premise has its base in the find-remind-and-bind theory of gratitude, proposed by US psychologist <a href="http://www.saraalgoe.com/">Sara Algoe</a>, from the University of North Carolina. According to this theory, gratitude prompts:</p>
<ul>
<li>the initiation of new social relationships (a find function)</li>
<li>orients people to existing social relationships (a remind function)</li>
<li>promotes maintenance of and investment in these relationships (a bind function)</li>
</ul>
<p>As with all emotions, gratitude can be both felt and expressed. The evidence on how feeling gratitude functions to find, remind, and bind in social relationships is robust. From promoting helping and trust to lowering aggression, feeling grateful gives rise to <a href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition#what_is">a wide range of outcomes</a> that benefit both parties in a social relationship.</p>
<p>Turning to expressing gratitude, the existing work is relatively sparse. The <a href="http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/2013/11/28/thanksgiving-2013/">evidence</a> that does exist largely focuses on ongoing social relationships, such as those between romantic partners. </p>
<h2>When we say ‘thank you’</h2>
<p>It only takes a moment of reflection to realise that expressions of gratitude are not solely relegated to such ongoing social relationships.</p>
<figure class="align-right zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=886&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=886&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=886&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1113&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1113&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58202/original/bj426fqc-1409797445.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1113&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
<figcaption>
<span class="caption">Saying “thank you” to strangers.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/worldoflard/6808551725">Flickr/worldoflard </a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/">CC BY-NC</a></span>
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>When a stranger holds a door, when a barista hands over the morning espresso or when we step off the bus, we typically (or should!) say “thank you”.</p>
<p>The question becomes: how do these expressions of gratitude among strangers shape social relations? Might hearing “thank you” help us “find” new social relationships? </p>
<p>So my colleague Monica Y Bartlett, from Gonzaga University in Washington, US, and I carried out the first empirical test of the “find” function of expressing gratitude among strangers, with the results <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264627488_Warm_Thanks_Gratitude_Expression_Facilitates_Social_Affiliation_in_New_Relationships_via_Perceived_Warmth">published</a> this month in the journal <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25111881">Emotion</a>.</p>
<p>In the study, we sought to create a situation in the lab where we could manipulate the expression of gratitude in a realistic way. So we asked our 70 undergraduate participants to help pilot a new mentoring program supposedly run by the university.</p>
<p>As part of the pilot, all of our participants were to act as mentors by giving advice on a writing sample from a high-school student mentee. The writing sample was one that the mentee planned to use in their university admissions package. </p>
<p>This setup ensured that we satisfied one of the core starting points of gratitude – the granting of help, resources or a favour.</p>
<p>A week later, we brought the participants back to the lab. All participants received a note purportedly written by the high school mentee. For half of the participants – those in the control condition - this note simply acknowledged the advice. </p>
<blockquote>
<p>I received your feedback through the editing program. I hope to use the paper for my college applications.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Here comes the manipulation of gratitude expression. Critically, for the other half of the participants, the note also included an expression of gratitude.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Thank you SO much for all the time and effort you put into doing that for me!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This design meant that all participants received a note – just the content of the note differed across conditions.</p>
<p>Participants next completed a series of questionnaires assessing their impressions of the mentee, and then were informed that the study was complete. </p>
<p>Except, that wasn’t quite true. The researcher casually mentioned that the pilot program organisers had left a set of notecards for mentors to complete if they chose to. The program organisers would ensure that the mentee received the note if the mentee were accepted to the university.</p>
<p>The researcher made it clear that leaving a note was completely optional and then left the room. Participants were thus left alone to decide whether to write a note, and, if so, what to say.</p>
<p>This note-writing opportunity served as our dependent measure of actual social affiliation. Would participants take the opportunity to establish a social relationship with their mentee? Would this depend on whether the mentee had expressed gratitude?</p>
<h2>How far does gratitude go?</h2>
<p>Perhaps not surprisingly, all but three participants wrote a welcome note (university students are, after all, a pretty kind bunch). Promisingly for the “find” hypothesis, all three participants who didn’t leave a note were in the control condition.</p>
<figure class="align-left zoomable">
<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img alt="" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=900&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/58213/original/zzskk8n2-1409799995.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1131&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px"></a>
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<span class="caption">More than just a note - saying “thank you” makes a difference.</span>
<span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/meddygarnet/4273172566">Flickr/Morgan</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></span>
</figcaption>
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<p>To test the “find” hypothesis more directly, we coded what participants wrote in those notes and a pattern quickly became clear. </p>
<p>Of the participants who had received a note expressing gratitude from their mentee, 68% left their contact details in their note. Only 42% of those who had received the control note left any contact details. The difference was statistically significant.</p>
<p>Next we tested what might explain this difference. For this, we looked to how participants rated their mentees. Specifically, we considered two dimensions – interpersonal warmth (kindness and friendliness) and competence (skill and intelligence).</p>
<p>We reasoned that if gratitude expressions function to service social relationships, the effect should be better explained by warmth than by competence.</p>
<p>Sure enough, mentees were perceived as more interpersonally warm when they had expressed gratitude. Further, this increase in perceived interpersonal warmth explained the increase in likelihood of leaving contact information for the gratitude-expressing mentees. This wasn’t the case for competence.</p>
<h2>The takeaway message</h2>
<p>Saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners. At the end of the day, initiating a social bond can be risky. We need to be selective and choose to invest in those bonds with the highest likelihood of being a good investment. In this context, an expression of gratitude serves as a signal that the expresser is a good candidate for a future social relationship.</p>
<p>Expanding the premise a bit further, perhaps the gratitude challenges that have swept social media (in their <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/7daygratitudechallenge">7</a>, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lindsay-holmes/the-gratitude-challenge-d_b_5697872.html">10</a>, <a href="http://gratitudechallenge.com/">21</a>, <a href="http://grandeurvision.wordpress.com/100-day-gratitude-challenge/">100</a>, or <a href="http://365grateful.com/original-365-project">365</a> day forms) might have downstream benefit.</p>
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<iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OHxlXLDMG0Q?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
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<p>In these challenges, a person posts verbal statements or photographs of things for which they are grateful on a daily basis via Facebook, Instagram, Blog, or Twitter – in essence, a very public and ongoing <a href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal">gratitude journal</a>.</p>
<p>There’s little doubt this has a positive effect on the social relationships directly implicated in these expressions (between romantic partners, family members, and friends), though <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/diet-and-fitness/have-we-reached-peak-gratitude-20140818-1059b4.html">some</a> find it annoying and question whether it’s sustainable. Our findings suggest that undertaking such gratitude challenges might have an effect on how even strangers come to see us.</p>
<p>While many questions remain for future research, our research provides initial evidence for the power of saying “thank you” to strangers. Something to keep in mind the next time you pick up your dry cleaning or are given a seat on the train.</p><img src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/30920/count.gif" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" />
<p class="fine-print"><em><span>Lisa A Williams receives funding from the Australian Research Council (DP130102110, DP130104468, LP140100034).</span></em></p>Most of us were taught that saying “thank you” is simply the polite thing to do. But recent research in social psychology suggests that saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners – it also serves to build…Lisa A Williams, Lecturer, School of Psychology, UNSW SydneyLicensed as Creative Commons – attribution, no derivatives.