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Why we get less narcissistic with age

There’s a perception that today’s youth are extremely narcissistic – fame-obsessed, selfish and vain. In fact, studies show this is a common view of young people, regardless of the times we live in. But are young people really more narcissistic? New research reveals that, as people age, they do tend to become less narcissistic.

Narcissism is a complex, multi-dimensional personality trait, which captures features beyond vanity and self-absorption. Emerging research suggests there are three different features (called “dimensions”) of narcissism: agentic, antagonistic and neurotic.

Agentic narcissism involves the need for admiration and feelings of superiority. Antagonistic narcissism is characterised by the exploitation of, and a lack of empathy towards, other people. Finally, neurotic narcissism refers to being sensitive and having difficulties regulating one’s emotions.

In order to fully understand how narcissism develops, the new study looked at all the three features. They analysed data from 51 longitudinal studies (meaning studies which follow participants over time), all of which measured how participants’ levels of narcissism changed. The researchers coded whether each study measured one or more of three different dimensions of narcissism.

To select the studies, the team used the American Psychiatric Association (APA) PsychInfo database of papers, searching for terms including “narcissism” and “narcissistic”. Each article was reviewed by two coders who were not part of the research team. The coders independently selected the studies based on details including sample size, gender ratio, measurement used, and the country in which the sample was collected.

This robust procedure generated a large dataset which comprised of 37,247 participants (52% female) ranging from ages eight to 77 years. The majority of the participants were from western Europe, the US and Canada.

Overall, the researchers found that all three dimensions of narcissism declined across the life span. There was a small decline for agentic narcissism and a moderate reduction for antagonistic and neurotic narcissism. The rate of change did not differ based on gender, age or birth cohort.

Interestingly, the researchers also found that people’s narcissism relative to that of their peers remained consistent over the life span. In other words, people who were more narcissistic than average as children remained more narcissistic than average as adults.

Changing roles

What, then, are the mechanisms involved in people becoming less narcissistic as they go through life? One possible factor is to do with changing social roles across our lifespan. It is important to remember that narcissism exists along a spectrum, with the lower end being helpful (a healthy balance of self-esteem and confidence) and the higher end being unhelpful and malignant (fluctuating self-esteem, aggression and lack of empathy).

It is possible that our personalities adapt when we make the transition into adulthood – which involves important individual and social responsibilities such as commitment to a relationship, leadership roles, or becoming a parent. After all, it is hard to successfully look after children or managing other people if you are too focused on yourself.

Even in old age, narcissism continues to decline. That may be because people tend to follow paths which encourages altruistic values as opposed to egoistic values, such as commitment to their family and grandchildren. By this age, most people have probably also learned the hard way the punishing consequences of being hostile to others.

This view is supported by other research suggesting that people develop more mature personality features in general over time, including becoming more emotionally stable, conscientious (hardworking and dutiful) and agreeable (kind and altruistic). As narcissism is considered to be the opposite of maturity, we expect, in theory, that features of narcissism (particularly the antagonistic and neurotic dimensions) to decrease across the life span.

Senior woman flexing biceps in the mirror
You can be narcissistic even at a late stage in life. AJR_Photo

However, narcissism can increase over time in some people. Research shows that some aspects of narcissism, such as exploitation of others and lack of empathy, can increase when people assume positions of power. This is particularly relevant at work and in relationships.

And let’s not forget that some people are simply just more narcissistic than others. Just because you’re 70 doesn’t mean you can’t be self-centered, it just means you might be less narcissistic than you once were.

This may be partly down to genetics, but it may also be the case that certain environments exacerbate existing features of narcissism. For instance, certain parenting styles – including being neglectful, overprotective, and/or providing excessive praise by putting the child on a pedestal – have all been linked to children developing narcissism in adulthood, suggesting a good balance is key.

It is important to understand more fully how narcissism changes across life. That is not least because we know that it can have a detrimental effects on the individual and the people around them.

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