Selling Brand Bastard

Much has been made of Lance Armstrong falling short of an Oprah mea culpa. While he may have admitted to the imbibing, he didn’t say sorry, didn’t express remorse. Certainly didn’t do the expected Marion Jones sob-a-thon.

We all wanted more from him, of course. More detail, more dates, more names. Fear not however, because we’re most certainly gonna get it. He might have been booted from the bike but Mr Armstrong most certainly hasn’t left the building.

There are two reasons that we got few words and scant emotion from cycling’s Great Satan. One, it was all a drip-feed preview to an inevitable – and likely more lucrative – tell-all book.

Two, this Lance – the driven, unflinching, egotistical bastard – is the version he’s always peddled; the image that he, presumably, wants to keep turning a dime from.

Ask any marketing theorist and they’ll readily espouse the value of brand consistency: Lance needs to keep up the bastardry because after the dust settles and we all find someone new to gnaw on, it’s the all-grit-and-determination Bully Boy who will move the merchandise.

The true value of Armstrong is not as a cyclist, rather, as the embodiment of the well-worn, much-loved, tried-and-true gendered tale of that bloke who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and never gave up, never gave in.

Had he laid his head on the lap of Oprah and sobbed convulsively onto the fabric of her interview finery, he wouldn’t have been true to his brand. And it’s the brand – and only the brand – that can be salvaged from this mess.

It was service to this brand that had him “break his silence” and it’s salvaging the brand that explains his arrogance and lack of repentance. Brand Bastard is a label defined by self-belief, self-reliance and an unflailing dedication to winning-at-all-costs, even at the darkest of hours.

Even if Lance decided to straighten up and cycle right, his future lies not in elite athletics: a) decades of cheating and only the village idiot would believe he’s clean, and b) he’s 41 and would be duelling – inevitably unsuccessfully – against younger and more testicled competitors.

The bigger story to emerge from this brouhaha – the narrative much more interesting and certainly more marketable than that of a 41-year-old serial doper – stars a pig-headed champion who would do anything to win. Sure, he’s a drug cheat, but he’s also a clench-your-teeth-and-plough-through-the-pain role model with a story to tell and motivational speaker terrain to conquer.

Like him or – as in my case – find him thoroughly loathsome, he’s dedicated. Dedicated to the Lance Armstrong brand, to the narrative of the self-at-the-centre-of-the-universe and to the story of triumph over adversity.

None of us need to forgive him, in fact, I dare say that us continuing to see him as a jerk is crucially important. Just as there are audiences for unapologetic serial pests like Charlie Sheen, just as people pay good money to be hollered at at boot camp, there’s a market for this Lance and much less so for a sooky sooky la la who might have wished it had all played out differently.

The interview might have been unsatisfying for those wanting him to claw at his chest, gouge out his eyes or offer an artery up to the masses as repentance. But for those of us interested in marketing, in branding, the interview was a tentative – but enormously useful – step into his post-cycling life where his bullying, drive and dogged prize-piggery has a ready-made self-help-seeking audience.

Image courtesy of Twitter


Tune into Lauren Rosewarne’s 7-part radio program “The Fairer Sex” on Wednesday nights at 7pm on 3RRR (102.7FM) or download from ondemand.rrr.org.au/. Airing until January 30.

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7 Comments sorted by

  1. Russell Walton

    Russell Walton is a Friend of The Conversation.

    Retired

    The fans have been extremely naive, Armstrong won one of the world's most competitive sporting events seven consecutive times and the public is shocked and outraged to discover that he cheated. Jeeez.

    I'd have been amazed if Armstrong hadn't been caught sooner or later.

    It's all basically showbiz and he's just another gladiator.

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  2. Dale Bloom

    Analyst

    It has been known for some time that Lance Armstrong had been taking drugs, but the most interesting aspect of the interview was why Oprah is so fat.

    It must mean all the diets and “feel energetic and alive” articles in her women’s gossip magazines and day time TV programs simply don’t work.

    Oprah demonstrates this quite well.

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  3. Lynne Newington

    Lynne Newington is a Friend of The Conversation.

    Researcher

    Selling Brand Bastardry.
    And the priest re-instated by the church found guilty of grooming a dsabled young woman for his own sexual gratification, isn't booted from his bike and certainly hasn't left the building!
    In both instances what message is it sending!

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  4. Geoff Henderson

    Graduate

    Thanks Lauren for an insightful article.

    If I have it right, Armstrong is just girding his loins for his life-after-pedals. And yeah the book and motivational tours will doubtless follow.

    I am already intrigued about how this next step is already being managed and planned.
    To haul Oprah out of virtual retirement, put on a heart-stopping two-part show and coordinate an international media event smells of big bucks.

    Armstrong is facing a number of requests for return of monies derived from his drug-assisted victories. In Oz one cannot profit from a crime so proceeds (in Oz) from say a book or an Oprah show might well be seized by the court. If the same law applies in the US, then a work around must also be a part of the deal.

    Yes, it does seem like Lance is going to be around for some time yet.

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  5. Anthony Nolan

    Ruminant

    I reckon professional sport is properly 'pop culture' and have to say that I've long been bored to tears by all professional sport mainly because it is like watching corporate product.

    Watching the TdeF is like watching a sporting event owned by Euro-Disney. The poor French, so culturally opposed to Euro-Disney, but it has crept up on them and now their entire country side has been Disneyfied with not a blade of grass out of place and all the happy little Gallics bravely cheering on their heroes…

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  6. Chris O'Neill

    Telecommunications Engineer

    I can't understand the level of greed it takes to keep cheating over and over again once you've already won once with cheating. Hypothetically, I could imagine someone cheating once to win a Tour but then after that I'd expect them to think "I was lucky and selfish enough to get away with that. It's not worth doing it again." But then, I'm probably thinking about it from the point of view of someone who wants the feeling of really winning (i.e. honestly). This is hard for me to comprehend.

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  7. Roger Crook

    Retired agribusiness manager & farmer

    The take home message for me out of this article is 'why?'
    Why have you bothered, Lauren?
    The more publicity Armstrong gets the happier he will be.
    Ignore him,after calling him a serial cheat, will leave him stranded.

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